Then came a flock of Quakers, who wished to enter with their hats on, but were turned away for being so ill-mannered. After them some of the barn- folk, who had been there only a short while, began to speak: "We have the same statute book as ye have," they averred, "and therefore show us our privileged place." "Stay," said the bright porter, steadfastly gazing on their foreheads, "I will show you something: see yon mark of the rent ye made in the church when leaving it without cause or reason? And would ye now have a place therein? Get ye back to the narrow gate, and wash thoroughly in the well of repentance, to see if ye will reach some of the royal blood ye erstwhile drank {36a} and bring some of the water of that well to moisten the clay, so as to make up yonder rent and then ye are welcome."

Before we had gone a rood westward I heard a noise coming from above, from among the princes, and everybody, great and small, was taking up arms and donning his armour as if for war, and ere I had time to cast about me for a refuge, the whole sky became black, and the city darker than when an eclipse befalls; the thunder roared, the lightning flashed to and fro, and ceaseless showers of deadly shafts were directed from the lower gates against the Catholic Church, and had there not been in each man's hand a shield to receive the fiery darts, and had the foundation rock not been so strong that nothing could ever harm it, we all would have become one burning mass. But alack, this was but a prologue or foretaste of what was to follow; for suddenly the darkness became sevenfold more intense, and Belial himself advanced in the densest cloud, and around him his chief officers both earthly and infernal, ready to receive and accomplish his behest at their several posts. He had entrusted the Pope and his other son of France {37a} with the destruction of the Church of England and its queen; the Turks and Muscovites were to strike at the other sections of the Church, and slay the people, and especially the queen and the other princes, and above all to burn the Bible. The first thing the queen and the other saints did was to bend the knee and tell of their wrongs to the King of Kings in these words: "The stretching out of his wings shall fill the breadth of thy land, oh Emmanuel." And immediately a voice replied: "Resist the devil and he will flee from you." And then commenced the greatest and most terrible conflict that ever took place on earth. When the sword of the Spirit began to be whirled round, Belial and his infernal hosts began to retreat; then the Pope began to waver, while the King of France still held out, though he too was almost giving up heart, seeing the queen and her subjects so united, while he himself was losing ships and men on the one hand, and on the other many of his subjects were in open revolt; and the onslaught of the Turk also was becoming less fierce. Just then, woe's me, I saw my beloved companion shooting away from me into the welkin to join a myriad other bright princes. Thereupon the Pope and the other earthly commanders began to slink off and become prostrate through fear, and the infernal princes to fall by the thousands. The noise of each one falling seemed to me as if a great mountain fell into the depths of the sea, and between this noise and the agitation on losing my friend, I awoke from sleep, and returned to this oppressive sod, most unwillingly, so pleasant and enjoyable it was to be a free spirit, and above all to be in such company, notwithstanding the great danger I was in. Now I had no one to comfort me save the Muse, and she was rather moody—scarcely could I get her to bray out these lines that follow:-

Behold this wondrous edifice, Both heaven and earth comprising, The universe and all that is At God's command arising - This world, with ramparts wide from pole to pole, Down from its starry, brilliant dome, E'en to the depths where angry billows roll, And beasts that through the forest roam - All things that sea and sky afford, Thy faithful subjects eke to be; A lesser heaven, a home for thee Oh! man, creation's lord.

But once that thou desired to know The ways of sin, seductive, The hellish tempter, to our woe, Became a power destructive; He cursed our earth and ruin brought on all, Yea, very nature felt the bane - Its blighted walls now totter to their fall, And soon disorder rules again. This earthly palace then at last, Unroofed, dismantled and decayed, A hideous, barren waste is laid By desolation's blast.

Behold oh, man! this glorious place In the empyrean hovering While all is but a treach'rous face Foul swamps and quagmires covering. Thy sin, that whelmed this earth in days of yore, Shall draw upon it quenchless fire With flaming torrents wildly rushing o'er - A prey to conflagration dire; If thou wouldst 'scape this dreadful fate, I pray thee counsel take from me, To Mercy's city straightway flee For life within its gate.

Behold that city's peerless might Withstanding all oppression - Then flee thereto in thy sad plight, Be free from sin's possession. Behold thy refuge in this dreary land Where all may find true, peaceful rest, A rock, impregnable on every hand, Where perfect love reigns ever blest; We sinful men, the way must search, And there in faith for pardon pray, And live a blissful, tranquil day Within the Holy Church.



II.—THE VISION OF DEATH IN HIS NETHERMOST COURT



One long, cold, and dark winter's night, when one-eye'd Phoebus well nigh had reached his utmost limit in the south and, from afar, lowered upon Great Britain and all the Northern land, and when it was much warmer in the kitchen of Glyn Cywarch {43a} than at the top of Cader Idris, and better in a cosy room with a warm bedfellow than in a shroud in the lychgate, I was meditating upon a talk I had had by the fireside with a neighbour concerning the brevity of human life, and how certain it was that death would come to all, and yet how uncertain its coming. Thus engaged, I had just lain down, and was half-asleep, when I felt a heavy weight stealthily creeping over me, from head to heel, so that I could not move a finger—my tongue only was unbound. I perceived, methought, a man upon my chest, and above him, a woman. After eyeing him carefully I recognised by his strong odours, dewy locks and blear eyes, that the man was no other than my good Master Sleep. "I pray you, sir," cried I, squeaking, "what have I done to you that you bring that witch here to torment me?" "Hush," said he, "it is only my sister Nightmare; we twain are going to pay our brother Death {43b} a visit, and want a third to accompany us, and lest thou shouldst resist we came upon thee, just as he does, unawares. Consequently come thou must, willy-nilly." "Alas," I cried, "must I die?" "Nay," said Nightmare, "we will spare thee this time." "But an't please you," said I, "your brother Death has never spared anyone yet who came beneath his stroke—he who wrestled with the Lord of Life himself, though it was little he gained by that contest." Nightmare, at that word, rose up angrily and departed. "Come along," cried Sleep, "thou wilt never repent of thy journey." "Well," said I, "may there never be night in Sleepton, and may Nightmare never have rest save on an awl's point if ye bring me not back where ye found me."

Then away we went over hills and through forests, across seas and valleys, over castles and towers, rivers and rocks, and where should we alight but at one of the gates of the daughters of Belial, at the rear of the City of Destruction, where I noticed that the three gateways of Destruction contracted into one at the back, and opened upon the same place—a murky, vaporous, pestilent place, full of noisome mists, and terrible lowering clouds. "Prithee, good sir," asked I, "what place be this?" "The chambers of Death," replied Sleep. And no sooner had I asked than I could hear some wailing, groaning, and sighing; some deliriously muttering to themselves or feebly moaning, others in great travail, and with all the signs of man's departure from life; and, now and then, would one give a long-drawn gasp, and lapse into silence. At that moment, I heard a key being turned in a lock, and at the noise I looked around for the door, and gazing steadfastly, perceived thousands upon thousands of doors, seemingly afar off but really close at hand. "Please, Master Sleep, where do these doors open upon?" asked I. "Upon the land of Oblivion," was the answer, "an extensive domain {44a} under the sceptre of my brother Death, and this great rampart is the boundary of vast Eternity." By this I could see that there was a little death-imp at every door, each one bearing arms, and a name different from that of his fellows; though it was evident that they, one and all, were the ministers of the same king. Nevertheless they were continually quarrelling about the sick; one would snatch the patient to take him as a gift through his own door, while another strove to take him through his.

On our approach, I observed that over each door the name of the Death who kept it was written, and also that at each door were an hundred various things left all of a heap, showing plainly that those who went through were in haste. Over one door I saw "Hunger," and yet on the floor close by were full purses, and bags, and brass-nailed trunks. "This is the Porch of Misers," said Sleep. "Whom do those rags belong to?" "To the misers, mostly," he replied, "but there are some which belong to idlers, gossipmongers and others, who, poor in everything except in spirit, preferred to die of hunger rather than ask for help." Next door was Death-by-Cold, and when I came opposite him I could hear much shuddering and shivering, and at his door, were many books, pots and flagons, a few sticks and bludgeons, compasses, cords and ship's tackle. "Scholars have gone this way," said I. "Yea, lonely and helpless, far from the succour of those who loved them, their very garments stolen from them. Those," he continued, pointing to the pots, "are relics of the boon companions, whose feet were benumbed under the benches, while their heads were seething in drink and noise; those things over there belonged to those who journeyed amid snow-clad mountains, and to North Sea traders." The next was a lanky skeleton called Fear-Death—so transparent you could see he had no heart; at his door, too, there were bags and chests, bars and strongholds. Through this one went userers and traitors, oppressors and murderers, though many of these last called at the next door, at which was a Death named Gallows, with a rope ready round his neck. Next to him was Love-Death, and at his feet thousands of musical instruments and song-books, love-letters, spots and pigments to beautify the face, and hundreds of tinselled toys for the same purpose, together with a few swords: "With these rivals have fought duels for their mistresses, and some have killed themselves," said Sleep. I could see that this Death was sandblind. At the next door was a Death whose colour was worst of all, and whose liver was entirely gone—his name was Envy. "This is the Death," said Sleep, "which brings hither those who have lost money, slanderers, and a rideress or two, who are jealous of the law which demands that a wife should submit herself unto her husband." "Pray, sir, what is a rideress?" "A rideress is a woman who will over-ride her husband, her neighbourhood, and the whole country if she can, and by dint of long riding, at last, rides a devil from that door down to the bottomless pit." Next was the door of Ambition-Death for those who hold their heads high, and break their necks, for want of looking on the ground they tread on; at this door lay crowns, sceptres, standards, petitions for offices, and all manner of arms of heraldry and war.

But before I had time to notice any more of these innumerable doors, I heard a voice bidding me by name to be dissolved, and at the word I felt myself beginning to melt like a snowball in the heat of the sun; then my master gave me a sleeping draught, so that I slumbered; and when I awoke, he had taken me by some road or other far away on the other side of the castle. I perceived myself in a pitch-dark vale of infinite radius, methought, and shortly, I saw by a few bluish lights, like the flickering flame of a candle, countless, ah! countless shades of men, some afoot and some on horseback, rushing back and fro like the wind, in awful silence and solemnity; the land was barren, bleak and blasted, without either grass or hay, trees or animals, save deadly beasts and poisonous vermin of every kind—serpents, snakes, lice, frogs, worms, locusts, gids and all such that exist on man's corruption. Through a myriad shades and reptiles, graves, churchyards and tombs, we made our way to view the land unmolested, until I happened to see some turning round and looking at me; in an instant, notwithstanding the prevailing silence, a whisper passed from one to another that there was a man from earth there. "A man from earth!" cried one, "a man from earth," exclaimed another, while they crowded round me, like caterpillars, from every quarter. "Which way came you, sirrah?" asked a morkin of a death-imp. "Indeed, sir," said I, "I know not any more than you do." "What is your name?" he asked. "Call me here in your own country what ye will, but at home I am called the Sleeping Bard."

At that word I could see an ancient mannikin, bent double, head to feet, like a bramble, straightening himself, and looking at me more malignantly than the red devil, and without a word he hurled a big skull at my head, but, thanks to a sheltering tombstone, missed me. "Truce, sir, I pray you," cried I, "to a stranger who was never here before, and will never come again, could I but once find the way home." "I'll make you remember you've been here," quoth he, and, again setting upon me with a thighbone, he beat me most unmercifully, while I dodged about as best as I could. "Ho ho!" I cried, "this country is very unmannerly towards strangers; is there no justice of the peace here?" "Peace, indeed," said he, "thou, surely, hast no right to sue for peace, who disturbest the dead in their graves." "Pray, sir, might I know your name, for I wot not that I have ever molested anyone from this country?" "Sirrah!" cried he, "know then that I, and not you, am the Sleeping Bard, and have been left in peace these nine centuries by all but you," and again he set upon me. "Withhold, brother," said Merlin {48a} who stood near, "be not too hasty; thank him rather for that he hath kept your name in respected memory on earth." "In great respect, forsooth," quoth he, "by such a blockhead as this. Are you, sirrah, versed in the four and twenty metres? Can you trace the line of Gog and Magog and of Brutus son of Silvius {48b} down to a century before the destruction of Troy? Can you prophesy when, and how the wars between the lion and the eagle, and between the stag and the red deer will end? Can you?" "Ho there! let me ask him a question," said another who stood by a huge seething cauldron, {48c} "draw near, and tell me the meaning of this:-

"Upon the face of earth I'll be "Until the judgment day, "And whether I be fish or flesh "No man can ever say." {48d}

"I would know your name, sir," said I, "so that I might the more befittingly give answer." "I am Taliesin, Chief of the Western Bards, {48e} and those are lines from my mystery-song." "I know not what your meaning may be, if it be not the yellow plague which destroyed Maelgwn Gwynedd, {49a} slew you upon the sea, and divided you between the ravens and fishes." "Tush, you fool," cried he, "I was foretelling of my two callings—as lawyer and poet—and which sayest thou now bears greatest resemblance, whether a lawyer to a raven, or a poet to a whale? How many will a single lawyer lay bare of flesh to swell his own paunch, and oh! so callously doth he shed blood and leave the man half dead! The poet, too, what fish can gulp as much as he? And though he hath always a sea round him, not all the ocean can quench his thirst. And when a man is both a poet and a lawyer, who can tell whether he is fish or flesh, and especially if he be a courtier as well, as I was, and had to change his taste with every mouth. But tell me, are there many of these folk now on earth?" "Yes, plenty," answered I, "if a man can patch together any sort of metre, straightway he becomes a chaired bard. And of the others, there is such a plague of barristers, petty lawyers, and clerks that the locusts of Egypt preyed less heavily on the country than they. In your time, sir, there were only roadside bargains and a hands-breadth of writing on the purchase of a hundred pound farm, and a cairn or an Arthur's quoit {49b} raised as a memorial of the purchase and boundaries. People have not the courage to do so nowadays, but more cunning, knavery, and written parchment, wide as a cromlech, is necessary to bind the bargain, and for all that it would be strange if no flaw existed or were contrived therein." "Well, well," said Taliesin, "I would not be worth a straw there, I may as well be here; truth will never be found where there are many bards, nor justice where many lawyers, until health be found where there be many doctors."

Upon this a grey-haired, writhled shrimp, who had heard of the presence of an earthly man, came and fell at my feet, weeping profusely. "Alack, poor fellow," cried I, "what art thou?" "One who suffers too much wrong on earth day by day," he replied, "and your soul must obtain me justice." "What is thy name?" I enquired. "I am called Someone," was the answer, "and there is no love-message, slander, lie, or tale to breed quarrels, but that I am blamed for most of them. 'In sooth,' said one, 'she is an excellent wench, and has spoken highly of you to Someone, although someone great was seeking her.' 'I heard Someone,' said another, 'reckoning a debt of nine hundred pounds on such and such an estate.' 'I saw Someone yesterday,' said the beggar, 'with a mottled neckerchief, like a sailor, who had come with a grain vessel to the next port;' and so every rag and tag mauls me to suit his own evil purpose. Some call me 'Friend.' 'A friend told me,' saith one, 'that so and so does not intend leaving a single farthing to his wife, and that there is no love lost between them.' Others further disgrace me and call me a crow: 'a crow tell me there is some trickery going on,' they say. Yea, some call me by a more honoured name—Old Man, and yet not a half of the omens, prophecies, and cures attributed to me are really mine. I never counselled walking the old way if the new were better, and I never intended forbidding men to church by saying: 'Frequent not the place where thou art most welcome,' and a hundred such. But Someone is the name generally given me, and most often heard of when anything uncommonly bad happens; for if you ask one where that scandalous lie was told and who told it. 'Indeed,' he will say, 'I know not, but Someone in the company said it,' and if you enquire of all the company concerning the story, all have heard it of Someone, but no one knows of whom. Is it not a shameful wrong?" he cried, "I beg of you to inform everybody who names me that I uttered nought of such things. I never invented or repeated a lie to disgrace anyone, nor a single tale to cause kinsmen to fly at each other's throats; I do not come near them; I know nothing of their scandal, or business, or accursed secrets—they must not charge me with their evils, but their own corrupt brains."

Hereupon a little Death, one of the King's secretaries, asked me my name, and bade Master Sleep carry me at once into the King's presence. I had to go, though most unwilling, by reason of the power that took me up like a whirlwind, 'twixt high and low, thousands of miles back on our left, till we came, a second time, in sight of the boundary wall, and in an enclosed corner we could see a vast palace, roofless and in ruins, extending to the wall wherein were the countless doors, all of which led to this terrible court. Its walls were built of human skulls with hideous, grinning teeth; the clay was black with mingled tears and sweat, the lime ruddy with gore. On the summit of each tower stood a Deathling, with a quivering heart on the point of his shaft. Around the court were a few trees—a poisonous yew or twain, or a deadly cypress, and in these owls, ravens, vampires and the like, make their nests, and cry unceasingly for flesh, although the whole place is but one vast, putrid shamble. The pillars of the hall were made of thighbones, and those of the parlour of shinbones, while the floors were formed of layer upon layer of all manner of charnel.

I had not to wait a longwhile ere I came in view of a tremendous altar, where we could see the King of Terrors devouring human flesh and blood, while a thousand impish deaths, from every hole, were continually feeding him with warm, fresh meat. "Here is a rogue," said the Death that led me thither, "whom I found in the midst of the land of Oblivion, having approached so light-footed that your majesty never tasted a bite of him," "How can that be?" demanded the king, opening his jaws, wide as a chasm, to swallow me. Whereupon I turned trembling to Sleep. "It was I who brought him hither," said he. "Well then, for my brother Sleep's sake," said the awful and lanky monarch, "you can retrace your steps for the nonce; but beware of me the next time." Having been for some time cramming his gluttonous maw with carrion, he caused his subjects to be called together, and moved from the altar to a very lofty and dreadful throne, to adjudge newly-arrived prisoners. In an instant, lo! the dead in countless multitudes paid homage to the king, and took their places in wonderful array. King Death was in his regal robe of brilliant scarlet, whereon depicted were wives and children weeping and husbands sighing; on his head a dark-red, three-cornered cap, a gift his cousin Lucifer had sent him, on the corners of which were written Grief, Sorrow, and Woe. Above his head were a myriad pictures of battles on land and sea, of towns aflame, of the earth yawning, and of the waters of the deluge; the ground beneath his feet was nought else than the crowns and sceptres of all the kings he had ever conquered. At his right hand sat Fate with a morose and scowling visage, reading an enormous tome that lay before him; at his left, was an old man called Time, warping innumerable threads of gold, silver, copper, and many of iron—some threads were growing better towards the end, a myriad worse; along the threads were marked hours, days and years, and Fate, at his book, cut the thread of life and opened the doors in the boundary wall between the two worlds.

I had not been looking about me long, when I heard four fiddlers, just dead, summoned to the bar. "How is it," asked the King of Terrors, "that ye, who are so found of joy, did not stay on yonder side of the chasm? For on this side joy never existed." "We have done no man ever any hurt," said one of the minstrels, "but on the contrary have made them merry, and quietly took whatever was given us for our pains." "Have ye caused no one," said Death, "to lose time from his work, or to absent himself from church, eh?" "No," replied another, "unless we were some Sundays after service in an inn till the morrow, or in summer time on the village green, and indeed we had a better and more beloved congregation than the parson." "Away, with them to the land of Oblivion," cried the terrible king, "bind the four, back to back, and pitch them to their partners, to dance barefoot on glowing hearths, and scrape their fiddles for ever without praise or pay."

The next to come to the bar was a king from near Rome. "Raise thy hand, caitiff," bade one of the officers. "I hope," said he, "ye have somewhat better manners and favor for a king." "Sirrah, you too," said Death, "ought to have kept on the other side of the gulf where everybody is king; but know that, on this side, there are none besides myself and another, who dwelleth down below, and you shall see that that king and myself will set no value upon the degree of your greatness, but rather upon the degree of your wickedness, and so make your punishment proportionate to your crimes; therefore give answer to the questions." "Sir, allow me to tell you that you have no authority to arrest and examine me," said he, "I hold a pardon under the Pope's own hand for all my sins. Because I served him faithfully, he gave me a dispensation to go straight to Paradise, without a moment's stay in Purgatory." At that the king, and all the lean jaws, gave a dismal grin in imitation of laughter, and the other, angered at their laughing, ordered them to show him the way. "Silence, lost fool!" cried Death, "Purgatory lies behind thee, on the other side of the wall, for it was in life thou hadst ought to have purified thyself, and Paradise is on the right, beyond that chasm. Now there is no way of escape for thee, neither across this abyss to Paradise, nor through the boundary wall back to earth; for wert thou to give thy kingdom—though thou hast not a ha'penny to give—the warder of those doors would not let thee look once, even through the keyhole. This is called the irremeable wall, for once it is passed there is no hope of return. But since you are so high in the Pope's favor, {54a} you shall go and get his bed ready with his predecessor, and there you may kiss his toe for ever, and he, the toe of Lucifer." At the word, four death-imps raised him up, now trembling like an aspen leaf, and snatched him away out of sight, with the speed of lightning.

Next after him, came a man and woman; he had been a boon companion, and she a kind and lavish maid, but there they were called by their plain, unvarnished names, a drunkard and a harlot. "I hope," said the drunkard, "I may obtain some favor in your eyes, for I despatched hither on a flood of good ale many a fatted prey, and when I failed to slay others, I willingly came myself to feed you." "By the court's leave," said the minion, "not half so many as I have despatched to you as a burnt offering ready for table." "Ha, ha," exclaimed Death, "it was to feed your own accursed lusts, and not me, that all this was done. Let them be bound together and hurled into the land of darkness." And so they too were hurried away headlong.

Next to them came seven recorders, who, on being bidden to raise their hands {55a} to the bar, pretended not to hear the command, for their palms were so thickly greased. One of them, bolder than the rest, began to argue, "We ought to have had fair citation, in order to prepare our reply, instead of being attacked unawares." "Oh, we are not bound to give you any particular notice," said Death, "because ye have, everywhere, and everywhile throughout your lives, warning of my advent. How many sermons on the mortality of man have ye heard? How many books, how many graves, knells and fevers, how many messages and signs, have ye seen? What is your Sleep but my brother? Your heads but my image? Your daily food but dead creatures? Seek not to lay the blame of your ill hap on my shoulders—ye would not hear of the summons, although ye had it an hundred times." "Pray what have you against us?" asked one ruddy recorder. "What indeed?" exclaimed Death, "the drinking the sweat and blood of the poor, and the doubling your fees." "Here is an honest man," he said, pointing to a wrangler behind them, "who knows I never did aught but what was fair, and it is not fair in you to detain us here, seeing you have no specific charge to prove against us." "Ha, ha!" cried Death, "ye shall bring proof against yourselves; place them on the verge of the precipice before the throne of Justice; there they will obtain justice, though they practised it not."

There were yet seven other prisoners, who kept up such commotion and clamour—some blandishing, gnashing the teeth and uttering threats, others giving advice and so on. Scarcely had they been summoned to the bar than the whole court darkened sevenfold more hideously than before, a murmuring and great confusion arose around the throne, and Death became more livid than ever. Upon enquiry it seemed that one of Lucifer's envoys had arrived, bearing a letter to Death, concerning these seven prisoners; and shortly, Fate called for silence to read the letter which, as far as I can recollect, was as follows:-

"LUCIFER, King of the Kings of Earth, Prince of Perdition and Archruler of the Deep, To our natural son, mightiest and most terrible King Death, greeting, wishing you supremacy and booty without end:

"Whereas some of our swift messengers, who are always out espying, have informed us that there lately came into your royal court seven prisoners of the seven most worthless and dangerous species in the world, and that you are about to hurl them over the precipice into my realm: our advice is, that you endeavour, by every possible way, to let them return to the earth; there they will be more serviceable—to you, in the matter of food, to me, for supplying better company. We had too much trouble with their partners in days gone by, and our kingdom is, even now, unsettled. Wherefore, turn them back or retain them yourself; for, by the infernal crown, if thou cast them hither, I will undermine the foundations of thy kingdom, until it fall and become one with mine own great realm.

"From our Court, on the miry Swamp in the glowing Evildom, in the year of our reign, 5425."

King Death, his visage green and livid, stood for a time undecided. But while he was meditating, Fate turned upon him such a grim frown that he trembled. "Sire," said Fate, "consider well what you are about to do. I dare not allow anyone to repass the bounds of Eternity—the insurmountable ramparts, nor deign you harbour any here, wherefore, send them on to their doom, spite of the great Evil One. He has been able to array in a moment many a haul of a thousand or ten thousand souls, and allot each one his place, and what difficulty will he have with these seven now, however dangerous they may be? Whatever happen, even if they overturn the infernal government, send them thither instantly, lest I be commanded to crush thee to untimely nothingness. As for his menaces, they are false, and although thy doom, and that of yon ancient (looking at Time), are not many pages hence, yet, thou need have no fear of sinking down to Lucifer, for however glad everybody there would be to have thee, they never will; for the eternal rocks of steel and adamant, which roof Hell, are somewhat too firm to be shattered." Whereupon Death, in great agitation, called for someone to indite thus his reply:-

"DEATH, King of Terrors, Conqueror of Conquerors, To our most revered kinsman and neighbour, Lucifer, Monarch of the Endless Night, and Emperor of the Sheer Vortex, Salutation:

"After giving earnest thought to this your royal wish, it seemeth to us more advantageous, not only to our state, but also to your vast realm, that these prisoners be sent to the furthest point possible from the portals of the impervious wall, left their putrid odour should so terrify the entire City pf Destruction that no one would ever enter Eternity from that side of the gulf, and I, in consequence, would be unable to cool my sting, and you should have no commerce betwixt earth and hell. But I leave you to judge them, and to cast them into the cells you deem most secure and befitting.

"From our Lower Court in the Great Tollgate of Destruction: from the year of the restoration of my Kingdom, 1670."

After hearing all this, I was itching to know what manner of folk these seven might be, seeing that the devils themselves feared them so much. But ere long, the Clerk to the Crown calls them by name, as follows: "Mister Busybody, alias Finger-in-every-pie." This fellow was so fussily and busily directing the others, that he had no leisure to answer to his name until Death threatened to sunder him with his dart. Then, "Mr. Slanderer, alias Foe-of-Good-Fame," was called, but no response came. "He is rather bashful to hear his titles," said the third, "he can't abide the nicknames." "Have you no titles, I wonder?" asked the Slanderer, "call Mr. Honey-tongued Swaggerer, alias Smoothgulp, alias Venomsmile." "Here," cried a woman, who was standing near, pointing to the Swaggerer. "Ha, Madam Huntress!" cried he, "your humble servant; I am glad to see you well, I never saw a more beautiful woman in breeches, but woe's me to think how pitiable is the country, having lost in you such an unrivalled ruler; and yet, your pleasant company will make hell itself somewhat better." "Oh, thou scion of evil," cried she, "no one need a worse hell than to be with thee—thou art enough." Then the crier called, "Huntress, alias Mistress o' the Breeches." "Here," answered someone else, she herself not saying a word because they did not "madam" her. Next was called the Schemer, alias Jack-of-all-Trades. But he, too, failed to answer, for he was assiduously plotting to escape the Land of Despair. "Here, here," cried someone behind him, "here he is spying for a place to break out of your great court, and unless you be on your guard, he has a considerable plot against you." "Then," said the Schemer, "Let him also be called, to wit, The Accuser-of-his-Brethren, alias Faultfinder, alias Complaint-monger." "Here, here he is," cried the Litigious Wrangler—for each one knew the other's name, but none would acknowledge his own. "You are also called," said the Accuser, "Mr. Litigious Wrangler, alias Cumber-of-Courts." "Witness, witness, all of you, what names the knave has given me," cried the Wrangler. "Ha, ha, 'tis not according to the font, but according to the fault, that everybody is named in this land," said Death, "and with your permission, Mr. Wrangler, these names must stick to you for evermore." "Indeed," quoth the Wrangler, "by the devil, I'll make it hot for you; although you may put me to death, you have no right to nickname me. I shall enter a plaint for this and for false imprisonment, against you and your kinsman Lucifer, in the Court of Justice."

By this I could see the armies of Death in array and armed, looking to the king for the word of command. Then the king, standing erect on his throne, spoke as follows: "My terrible and invincible hosts, spare neither care nor haste to despatch these prisoners out of my territories, lest they corrupt my country; throw them in bonds headlong over the hopeless precipice. But as to the eighth, this cumbrous fellow who menaces me, let him free on the brink beneath the Court of Justice, so that he may make good his charge against me, if he can." No sooner had he sat down than the whole deadly armies surrounded and bound the prisoners, and led them towards their appointed dwelling. And when I, having gone out, half-turned to look at them. "Come hither," cried Sleep, and flew with me to the top of the loftiest tower on the court; from whence I saw the prisoners going forth to their everlasting doom. Before long a sudden whirlwind arose, and drove away the pitch-dark mist usually hovering over the Land of Oblivion, and in the wan light, I could see myriads of livid candles, and by their gleam, I obtained a far-off view of the mouth of the bottomless abyss. But if that was a horrible sight, overhead was one still more horrible—Justice, on her throne, guarding the portal of hell, and holding a special tribunal above the entrance thereto, to pronounce the doom of the damned as they arrive. I beheld the seven hurled headlong over the terrible verge, and the Wrangler, too, rushing to throw himself over, lest he should once look on the Court of Justice, for, alas, the sight thereof was intolerable to guilty eyes. I was only gazing from a distance, yet I beheld more dreadful horrors than I can now relate, nor then could endure; for my spirit so strove and panted through exceeding fear, and struggled so violently, that all the bonds of Sleep were burst; my soul returned to its wonted functions, and I rejoiced greatly to perceive myself still among the living, and resolved to lead a better life, for I would rather suffer affliction an hundred years in the paths of holiness than, perforce, take another glance at the horrors of that night.

1 Must I leave home and fatherland, And every charm and pleasure? Leave honored name and high degree Enjoyed in life's brief measure?

2 Leave beauty, strength, and wisdom, too, All won in hard employment, - All I have learnt, and all I've loved, And all this world's enjoyment.

3 Can I evade the stroke of Death That rends all ties asunder? Do not his awful shambles gape For me to be his plunder?

4 Ye gilded men would fain enjoy The wealth your souls engrossing, But ye must bow to him and go The journey of his choosing.

5 Ye favored fair, whose lightest word Has caused ten thousand errors, Think not your garish, tinselled charms Can blind the King of Terrors.

6 Ye who rejoice in heedless youth And follow fleeting pleasures, Know that ye cannot conquer Death By valor, arts, or treasures.

7 Ye who exult in madding song The giddy dances treading, Think not that all the mirth of France Can thwart the fate you're dreading.

8 Ye who have roamed the wide world o'er, Where have ye found the tower, With walls and portals strong enough To check Death's awful power?

9 Statesmen and learned sages, all Of godlike understanding, What will your craft and skill avail? 'Tis Death who is commanding.

10 The greatest foes of man are now The world, the flesh, the devil; And yet, ere long, we'll surely find In Death a greater evil.

11 How little now it seems to die - To gain the suit or lose it? But when the doom is of thyself How great thy care to chose it?

12 We care, at present, not a jot Which way our gains may turn us; Eternal life, howe'er so great, We think can not concern us.

13 But when thou'rt hedged on every side And Death himself is nearest, For one brief, ling'ring space we'll give Whate'er to us is dearest.

14 Think not that thou canst make thy terms For thine eternal dwelling, On either side of that dread gulf, With death thy steps compelling.

15 Repentence, faith, and righteousness, Alone are thy Salvation, And in the agony of Death Shall be thy consolation.

16 And when the world is passing by, Its joys and pleasures ending, Infinite thou wilt deem their worth When to the bourne descending!



III.—THE VISION OF HELL



One April morning, bright and mild, when earth was with verdure laden, and Britain, like a paradise, had donned its brilliant livery, foretelling summer's sunshine, I sauntered along the banks of the Severn, while around me, chaunting their sweet carols, the forest's little songsters in rivalry poured forth songs of praise to their Maker; and I, who was far more bounden than they to give praise, at one while lifted up my voice with the gentle winged choristers, and at another read "The Practice of Piety." {67a} For all that, my previous visions would not from my mind, but time after time broke in upon every other thought. They continued to trouble me until after careful reasoning I concluded that every vision is a heaven-sent warning against sin, and that therefore it was my duty to write them down as a warning to others also. And whilst occupied with this work, and sadly endeavouring to recall some of those awful memories, there fell upon me at my task such drowsiness that soon opened the way for Master Sleep to glide in perforce. No sooner had sleep taken possession of my senses than there drew nigh unto me a glorious apparition upon the form of a young man, tall and exceeding fair; his raiments were whiter sevenfold than snow, the brightness of his face darkened the sun, his wavy, golden locks rested on his brow in two shining coronal wreaths. "Come with me, thou mortal being," he exclaimed, when he had drawn near. "Who art thou, Lord?" said I. "I am the Angel of the realms of the North," answered he, "guardian of Britain and its queen. I am one of the princes who stand below the throne of the Lamb, receiving his commands to protect the Gospel against all its enemies in Hell, in Rome and in France, in Constantinople, in Africa and in India, and wherever else they may be, devising plans for its destruction. I am the Angel who saved thee beneath the Castle of Belial, and who showed thee the vanity and madness of all the earth, the City of Destruction and the splendor of Emmanuel's City; and again have I come at his bidding to show thee greater things, because thou art seeking to make good use of what thou hast seen erstwhile." "How can it be, Lord," asked I, "that your glorious highness, guardian of kings and kingdoms, does condescend to associate with carrion such as I?" "Ah," said he, "in our sight a beggar's virtue is more than a king's majesty. What if I am greater than all the kings of earth, and supreme to many of the countless lords of heaven? Yet, since our eternal Sovereign vouchsafed to take upon Himself such unutterable humiliation—put on one of your bodies, lived in your midst, and died to save you, how dare I deem it otherwise than too sublime for my office to serve thee and the meanest of men, who are so high in my Master's favor? Hence, spirit, cast off thine earthy mould!" he cried, gazing upwards: and at the word, I beheld him fall free of all bodily form, and snatch me up to the vault of heaven, through the region of thunder and lightning, and all the glowing armouries of the empyrean; higher, immeasureably higher than I had previously been with him, and where the earth appeared scarcely wider than a stack-yard. Having allowed me to rest awhile, he hurried me upwards a myriad miles, until the sun appeared far beneath us; through the milky way, past Pleiades, and many other stars of appalling magnitude, catching a distant glimpse of other worlds. And after journeying for a long time, we come at last to the confines of the great eternity, in sight of the two courts of the vauntful King of Death—one to the right, the other to the left, but very far apart from one another as there lay an immense void between them. I asked whether I might go and see the court on my right hand, for I observed that this was not at all like the other I had previously seen. "Thou shalt perchance," said he, "see, somewhile, more of the difference there is between them. But now we must proceed in another direction." At that we turned away from the little world, and across the intervening space we let ourselves descend into the Eternal Realm between the two courts, into the formless void, a boundless tract, most deep and dark, chaotic and uninhabited, at one time cold, at another hot, {69a} now silent, now resounding with the roaring of cataracts falling and quenching the fires, and anon of the fire bursting out and burning up the water. Thus, there was neither order nor completeness, nor life nor form: nought but this dazing dissonance, this mysterious stupor which would have made me for ever blind, had not my friend laid bare once more his vesture of heavenly sheen. By the light he gave I saw before me to the left the Land of Oblivion, and the borders of the Wilds of Destruction; and to my right, methought, the base of the ramparts of Glory. "This is the great abysm between Abraham and Dives," said he, "which is called Chaos: this is the land of the matter which God did first create, and here is the seed of every living thing; of these the Almighty Word created your world and all it doth contain—water, fire, air, earth, beasts, fishes, insects, birds and the human body; but your souls are of a higher and nobler origin and stock."

Through the huge, frightful chaos we at length broke forth to the left; and ere we had journey'd far therein where every object grew uglier and uglier, I felt my heart in my throat, and my hair erect like a hedgehog's bristles, even before perceiving anything; but what I did perceive was a sight no tongue can describe nor the mind of a mortal dwell upon. I fainted. Oh, that limitless abyss, so dire and terrible, opening out upon another world! How those awful flames crackled incessantly as they darted upwards above the banks of the accursed ravine, and the shafts of impetuous lightning rent the thick, black smoke which the yawning chasm belched forth! When my beloved companion awoke me, he gave me ambrosial water to drink, of most excellent flavor and color. After drinking this heavenly water I felt some wonderful power within me,—wit, courage, faith, and many other divine virtues. Thereupon I drew nigh with him unfearingly to the edge of the precipice, shrouded in the veil, whilst the flames parted asunder around us, and dared not touch denizens of the supernal regions. Then from the edge of that dread gulf, we let ourselves descend, like two stars falling from the canopy of heaven, down, down for myriad millions of miles, over many sulphurous rocks, and many a hideous cataract and fiery precipice, where all things bent downwards ever, with impending aspect; yet they all avoided us, except when once I poked my nose out of the veil, there struck me such a stifling and choking stench as would have ended me had he not saved me out of hand with the reviving water. When I had recovered, I could see that we were come to a halt, for in all that stupenduous chasm no sooner stay were possible, so sheer and slippery was it. There my Guide allowed me once more to rest; and during that respite it chanced that the thunder and the fierce whirlwinds were a little hushed, and above the roar of the foaming cataracts, {71a} I could hear from afar, louder than all, the noise of such awful shrieks, wails, cries, and loud groans, of swearing, cursing and blaspheming, that I would rather have set a bargain upon my ears than listen. And before we had moved an inch, we heard from above such hip-drip-drop that had we not straightway stepped aside, there would have fallen upon us hundreds of unhappy men whom a host of fiends were hurling headlong, and too hurriedly to a woful fate. "Ho, slowly sir!" quoth one sprite, "lest you displace your curly lock;" and to another "Madam, will you have your soft cushion? I fear me you will be much disordered before you reach your resting-place."

The strangers were most reluctant to advance, insisting that they were on the wrong road; still, onward they went, up to the bank of a wide, dark torrent, whilst we followed in their wake and crossed over with them, my companion, meanwhile, holding the water to my nostrils to protect me from the stench rising out of the river. When I beheld some of the inhabitants (for till now I had not seen a single devil, though I had heard their voices) I asked: "What, pray, my Guide, is the name of this death-like stream?" "The river of the Evil One," answered he, "wherein all his subjects are immersed to render them accustomed to the country; its cursed waters changed their countenance, washing away every relic of goodness, every shadow of hope and happiness." And on seeing the horde pass through, I could perceive no difference in loathsomeness between the devils and the damned. Some wished to crouch at the bottom of the river, there to remain in suffocation to all eternity, rather than find further on a worse dwelling; but as the proverb says: "He whom the devil urges must run," so these damned beings, thrust on by the demons, were swiftly borne along the stream of destruction to their eternal ruin; where I too saw at the first glimpse more tortures and torments than man's heart can imagine, far less a tongue repeat; to see one of which was enough to cause one's hair to stand on an end, his blood to freeze, his flesh to melt, his bones to give way, yea and his spirit to swoon within him. Why speak I of such deeds as the impaling or sawing of men alive, the tearing of the flesh in pieces with iron pincers or the broiling of it, chop by chop, with candles, or the jambing of skulls as flat as a slate, in a press, and all the most frightful degradation the earth ever witnessed? All such are but pleasures compared with one of these. Here, a million shrieks, harsh groans and deep sighs; there, fierce lamentations and loud cries in answer: the howling of dogs were sweet, delightful music compared with these voices. Before we had gone far from the shores of that accursed river into wild Perdition, we could see by the light of their own fire, here and there, men and women without number, whom a countless host of devils unceasingly and with all their might kept always torturing; and as the devils were shrieking from the intensity of their own suffering, they made the damned give response to the utmost. I observed the part nearest me more minutely: there, the devils with pitchforks hurled them head foremost upon poisonous hatchels formed of terrible, barbed darts, thereon to struggle by their brains; then shortly, they threw them together, layer on layer, upon the summit of one of the burning crags, there to blaze like a bonfire. Thence they were snatched away up the ravines amidst the eternal ice and snow; {73a} then plunged again into an enormous flood of seething brimstone to be parched, stifled, and choked by the direful stench; thence to a quagmire of vermin, to embrace hellish reptiles far more noxious than serpents or vipers. After that the devils took knotted rods of fiery steel from the furnace, wherewith they beat them so that their howls resounded throughout all Hell, so inexpressibly excruciating was the pain, and then they seized hot irons to sear the bloody wounds. No swoon or trance is there to beguile with a moment's respite, but an unchanging strength to suffer and to feel; though one would have thought that after one awful wail there never could be the strength to raise another as weirdly-loud; yet never will their key be lowered, with the devils ever answering: "This is your welcome for aye." And worse, were it possible, than the pain, was the scorn and bitterness of the devils' mockery and derision, but worst of all, their own conscience was now thoroughly awakened, and devoured them more relentlessly than a thousand infernal lions.

Still down we go, down afar—the further we go the worse the plight; at the first view I saw a horrid prison wherein a great many men were uttering blasphemous groans beneath the scourges of the devils: "Who are all these?" asked I; "This," answered the Angel, "this is the abode of Woe-that-I-had-not." "Woe that I had not been cleansed of all manner of sin in good time," quoth one. "Woe is me that I had not believed and repented before my coming here," quoth another. Next to the cell of Too- late-a-repentance, and of Pleading-after-judgment, was the prison of the Procrastinators, who were always promising to mend their ways, but who never fulfilled the promise. "When this trouble is past," saith one, "I will turn over a new leaf." "When this hinderance goes by, I'll be another man yet," said another. But when that comes about, they are no nearer; some other obstacle ever and anon occurs to preventing their starting towards the gate of holiness; and if sometimes a start is made, it takes but little to turn them back again. Next to these was the prison of Presumption, full of those who, whenever they were urged of old to be rid of their Wantonness, or drunkenness, or avarice, would say: "God is merciful, and better than His word; He will never damn his own creature upon a cause so trivial." But here they yelped blasphemy, asking: "Where is that mercy boasted to be infinite?" "Silence, ye whelps!" said a huge, crabbed devil who heard them, "Silence! would he have mercy who did nought to obtain it? Would ye that Truth should make its word a lie, merely to gain the company of dross so vile as ye? Was too much mercy shewn you, a Saviour, a Comforter given you, and the angels, books, sermons and good examples? Will ye not cease plaguing us now, prating of mercy where it never was."

While making our exit from this glaring pit, I heard one moaning and crying dolefully: "I knew no better; no pains were ever taken to teach me to read my duties, nor could I spare the time to read and pray whereof I had need in order to earn bread for myself and my poor family." "Indeed," quoth a crookback devil who stood close at hand, "hadst thou no leisure to tell merry tales, no idle roasting before thy fire through the long winter evenings when I was up the chimney, so that no time might have been given to learning to read or pray? What of thy Sabbaths? Who was it that was wont to accompany me to the alehouse rather than the parson to the church? How many a Sunday afternoon was spent in vain, noisy talk of worldly things, or in sleeping, instead of in learning to meditate and pray? Didst thou act according to thy knowledge? Silence, sirrah, with thy lying chatter!" "Thou raving bloodhound!" exclaimed the condemned, "'tis not long since thou wert whispering other words in mine ear; hadst thou said this another day, it is not likely I would have come hither." "Ah!" said the devil, "it matters not that we tell you the hateful truth here; for there is no fear of your returning hence now to carry tales."

Lower down I could see a deep, valley whence arose the bluish glare of what seemed to be a countless number of enormous, burning mounds; and after drawing nigh, I knew by their howling that they were men piled mountains high with terrible flames crackling through them. "That hollow," said the Angel, "is the abode of those who after committing some heinous deeds, exclaim: 'Well, I am not the first—I have plenty of companions,' and thus thou see'st they have plenty, to verify their words and add to their affliction." Opposite this was a large cellar where I saw men tortured just as withes are twisted or wet sheets wrung. "Who, prithee, are these?" asked I. "They are the Mockers," said he, "and the devils from pure derision essay to find whether they can be twisted as pliantly as their tales." A little below, but scarcely visible, was another gloomy dungeon-cell, wherein was what had once been men, but now with the faces of wolf-hounds, up to their lips in a morass, madly howling blasphemy and lies as often as they got their tongues clear of the mire. Just then a legion of devils passed by, and some attempted to bite the heels of ten or twelve of the devils that had brought them there: "Woe and ruin take you, ye hell-hounds!" exclaimed one of the bitten devils, at the same time stamping upon the quagmire until they sank in the reeking depths. "Who more deserving of hell than ye, who gossipped and imagined all manner of tales, who retailed lies from house to house so that ye might laugh, after setting the entire neighbourhood at war? What more would one of us have done?" "This," said the Angel, "is the abode of the slanderers, defamers and backbiters, and of all envious cowards who always do hurt in word or deed behind one's back."

From thence we went past an enormous lair, the vilest I had yet seen, and the fullest of vermin, of soot, and of stench. "This," said he, "is the place of those who hoped for heaven because they were harmless, in other words, because they were neither good nor bad." Next to this foul pit I saw a great multitude sitting down, whose groans were more fierce than anything I had heard hitherto in hell. "Save us all!" cried I, "what makes these complain more than all others, seeing there be no pain, nor demon near them?" "Ah," answered the Angel, "if the pain without is less, that which is within is more,—here are stubborn heretics, the godless and unchristian, many of the worldy-wise, of apostates, of the persecutors of the church, and millions such as they, who have utterly been given over to the more bitterly painful punishment of the conscience, which now without let or ceasing has its full sway over them. "I will not this time," quoth conscience, "be drowned in beer, or blinded by rewards, or deafened by song and good company, or hushed or stupified by a thoughtless torpor; now I will be heard, and never shall the truth, the stinging truth, cease dinning in your ears." The will creates a desire for the lost paradise, the memory reproaches them with the ease wherewith it might have been gained, and the reason shews the greatness of the loss, and the certainty that nought awaits them but this unspeakable gnawing for ever and ever; so by these three means, conscience rends them more terribly than would all the devils in hell.

Coming out of that wondrous defile, I heard much talking, and for every word such wild horse-laughter as if some five hundred devils would shed their horns with laughing. But after I had drawn near to behold the very rare sight of a smile in hell, what was it but two gentlemen, lately arrived, appealing for the respect due to their rank, and the merriment was intended only to give affront to them. A pot-bellied squire stood there with an enormous roll of parchment, his genealogical chart, declaring from how many of the Fifteen Tribes of Gwynedd he had sprung, how many justices of the peace, and how many sheriffs there had been of his house. "Ha ha," cried one of the devils, "we know the merit of most of your forebears, were you like your father, or great-great-grandsire, we would not have deigned to touch you. But thou, thou art but the heir of utter darkness, vile whelp, thou art hardly worth a night's lodging; and yet thou shalt have some nook to await the dawn." And at the word the impetuous monster pierces him with his pitchfork, and after whirling him thirty times through the fiery welkin, hurled him into a hole out of sight. "That is right enough for a half-blood squire," said the other, "but I hope ye will be better mannered towards a knight who has served the king in person; twelve earls and fifty knights can I recount from mine own ancient line." "If thine ancestors, and thy long pedigree are all thy plea, thou canst go the same gate," quoth a devil, "for we remember scarce one old estate of large extent which some oppressor, some murderer or robber has not founded, leaving it to others as arrant as they, to idle blockheads or to drunken swine. To maintain lavish pomp, they had to grind their vassals and tenants, and if there be a beautiful pony or a fine cow which my lady covets, she will have them, and well it happens if the daughters, yea, even the wives, escape the lust of their lord. And the small free-holders around them must either vainly follow or give bail for them, resulting in their own ruin, the loss of their possessions, and the sale of their patrimony, or expect to be hated and despised, and forced to every idle pursuit. Oh how nobly they swear to gain the confidence of their minions or of their tradesmen, and when decked out in their finery, how contemptuously they look upon many an officer of importance in church and state, as if such were mere worms compared with them. Woe's me, is not all blood of one color? Was it not the same way that ye all entered the world?" "For all that, craving your pardon," said the knight, "there are some births purer than others." "For the great doom all your carcases are the same," said the imp, "everyone of you is defiled by the sin that took its origin in Adam." But, sir," continued he, "if your blood is aught better than another, the less scum will there be when shortly it will be bubbling through your body, and if there be more, we must examine you, part by part, through fire and through water." Thereupon, a devil in the shape of a fiery chariot receives him, and the other mockingly lifts him thereinto, and away he goes with the speed of lightning. Ere long the angel bade me look, and I saw the poor knight most horribly sodden in an enormous boiling furnace with Cain, Nimrod, Esau, Tarquin, Nero, Caligula, and others who first established lineage, and emblazoned family arms.

After wending our way onward a little, my guide bade me peer through a riven wall, and within I saw a group of coquetts busily primming up, doing and undoing the deeds of folly they were formerly wont to do on earth; some puckering their lips, some plucking their eyebrows with irons, some anointing themselves, some patching their faces with black spots to make the yellow look whiter, and some endeavouring to crack the mirror; and after all the pains to color and adorn, upon seeing their faces far uglier than the devils', they would tear away with tooth and nail all the false coloring, the spots, the skin and the flesh all at once, and would shriek most dismally. "Accursed be my father," said one, "it was he who forced me when a girl to wed an old shrivelling, and it was his kindling my desires with no power to satiate them, that doomed me to this place." "A thousand curses on my parents," cried another, "for sending me to a monastery to be taught to live a life of chastity; they might as well have sent me to a Roundhead to learn how to be generous, or to a Quaker to be taught good manners, as to a Papist to be taught honesty." "Fell ruin seize my mother," shrieked a third, "whose covetous pride refused me a husband at my need, and so drove me to obtain by stealth what I might have honestly obtained." "Hell, a double hell to the raging bull of a nobleman who first tempted me," cried another, "had he not by fair and foul broken through all bounds, I would not have become a common chattel, nor would I have come to this infernal place;" and then would they lacerate themselves again.

I made all haste to leave their loathsome kennel, but I had not proceeded far before I observed, to my astonishment, another prison full of women, still more abominable; some had become frogs; some, dragons; some, serpents, and there they swam about, hissing and foaming, and butting one another, in a foetid, stagnant pool that was much larger than Bala Lake. "Pray, what can these be?" asked I. "There are here," said he, "four chief classes of women, not to mention their minions—Firstly: Panders, who maintained harlots to sell their virginity an hundred times, and the worst of these around them. Secondly: Mistresses of gossip, surrounded by thousands of tale-bearing hags. Thirdly: Huntresses followed by a pack of cowardly, skulking hounds, for no man ever dared approach them, unless in fear of them. Fourthly: The scolds, become a hundredfold more horrid than snakes, always grinding and gnashing their venomous stings." "I would have deemed Lucifer too gracious a monarch to place a noble lady of my rank with these vulgar furies," complained one, who much resembled the others, but was far more hideous than a winged serpent. "Oh, that he would send hither seven hundred of the basest demons of hell in exchange for thee, thou poisonous hellworm," cried another ugly viper. "Many thanks to you," quoth a gigantic devil, overhearing them, "we regard our place and worth as something better; though ye would cause everyone as much pain as we, yet we do not choose to be deprived of our office in your favor." "And Lucifer hath another reason," whispered the Angel, "for keeping strict guard over these, and that is, lest on breaking loose, they might send all hell into utter confusion."

Thence we still descended until I saw an immense cavern wherein was such fearful clamor that I had never heard the like before—swearing, cursing, blaspheming, snarling, groaning and yelling. "Whom have we here?" I asked. "This," answered he, "is the Den of Thieves; here are myriads of foresters, lawyers and stewards, with old Judas in their midst." And it grieved them sorely to behold a pack of tailors and weavers above them in a more comfortable chamber. Hardly had I turned round when a demon, in the shape of a steed, bore in a physician, and an apothecary, and hurled them into the midst of the pedlars and horse cheats, because they had sold worthless drugs. And they too began murmuring against being allotted to such low society. "Stay, stay," cried one of the devils, "ye deserve a better place," and he pitched them down amongst conquerors and murderers. There were vast numbers in here for playing false dice and cheating at cards, but before I had time to observe them closely, I could hear by the door a huge crowd in wild tumult and shouts—hai, hw, ptrw- how-ho-o-o-p—as of cattle being driven along. I turned round to see the cause of it, but could perceive only the horned demons. I enquired of my Guide if there were cuckolds with the devils. "No," said he, "they are in another cell; these are drovers who wished to escape to the prison of the Sabbath-breakers, and are sent here against their will." Thereupon I look and saw that they had on their heads the horns of sheep and kine; and those that were driving them on, cast them down beneath the feet of blood-stained robbers. "Lie there," said one, "however much ye feared footpads on the London road erstwhile, ye yourselves were the very worst class of highwaymen, who made your living on the road and on robbery, yea and by the perishing of many a poor family whom ye left in hunger, vainly hoping for the sustenance of their possessions, while ye were in Ireland or in the King's Bench laughing at them, or on the road with your wine and lemans." On leaving the furnace-like cave, I caught a glimpse of a haunt, which for loathsome, stinking abomination, went beyond anything (with one sole exception) that I had set my eyes upon in hell,—where an accursed herd of drunken swine lay weltering in the foulest slime.

The next den was the abode of Gluttony, where Dives and his companions, wallowing on their bellies, devoured dirt and fire alternately, with never a drop to drink. A little below this, was a very extensive roasting-kitchen, where some were being roasted and boiled, others broiling and flaming in a fiery chimney. "This is the place of the merciless and the unfeeling," said the Angel. Turning a little to the left, where there was a cell lighter than any I had so far seen, I asked what place it was: "The abode of the Infernal Dragons," said he, "which growl and rage, rush about and rend one another every instant." I drew near and oh! what an indescribable sight they were! It was the glowing fire of their eyes that gave all that light. "These are the descendants of Adam," said my Guide, "scolds and raving, wrathful men; but yonder are some of the ancient seed of the great Dragon, Lucifer;" but verily I could not perceive any difference in loveliness between them. In the next dungeon dwell the misers in awful torment, being linked by their hearts to chests of burning coin, the rust of which was consuming them without end, just as they had never thought of an end to the piling of them, and now they were tearing themselves to pieces with more than madness through grief and remorse. Below this was a charnel vault where some of the apothecaries had been ground down and stuffed into earthenware pots with Album graecum, dung, and many a stale ointment.

Ever downward we were journeying through the wilderness of ruin, in the midst of untold and eternal tortures, from cell to cell, from dungeon to dungeon, the last alway surpassing in monstrous ghastliness, until finally we came within view of an enormous entrance hall, most unsightly of all that I had previously seen. It was very spacious and terribly steep, running in the direction of a gloomy red corner, full of the most inconceivable abominations and horrors: it was the royal court. At the upper end of the king's accursed hall, amidst thousands of other dread sights, by the light my companion shed, I could see in the darkness two feet of prodigious size, and so enormous as to overcast the whole infernal firmament. I inquired of my Guide what such immensities might be. "Thou shalt have a fuller view of this monster when returning," said he, "but, come now, let us to see the court." As we were going down that awful entrance hall, we heard behind us the noise as of very many people advancing; on stepping aside to let them pass I noticed four divers host, and upon enquiry I learnt that it was the four princesses of the City of Destruction leading their subjects as an offering to their sire. I distinguished the troop of the Princess of Pride, not only because they insisted upon the foremost position, but also because they stumbled now and then from want of keeping their eyes upon the ground. She led captive kings without number, princes, courtiers, noblemen and braggarts, many Quakers, and women innumerable and of all grades. Next to these came the Princess of Lucre with her sly and crafty followers—a great many of the brood of Simon Skinflint, money lenders, lawyers, userers, stewards, foresters, harlots, and some of the clergy. Then came the gracious Princess of Pleasure and her daughter Folly, leading her subjects—players of dice, cards and back-gammon, conjurers, bards, minstrels, storytellers, drunkards, bawds, balladmongers and pedlars with their trinkets in countless number, to be at length instruments of punishment to the damned fools.

When these three had taken their captives into the court to receive judgment, Hypocrisy, last of all, brings in a more numerous troop than any of the others, of every nation and age, from town and country, patrician and plebeian, men and women. In the rear of this double-faced legion we came within sight of the court; passing through the midst of many dragons and horned demons, and hell's giants, the dusky porters of the devil-hunted fire; I, the while, carefully hiding within the veil, we entered that direful edifice: wonderful, and of amazing roughness was every part of it; the walls were cruel rocks of burning adamant; the floor was one unendurable extent of sharp-cutting flint, the roof of fiery steel, meeting in an arch of greenish and blood-red flames, similar, except in its size and heat, to a tremendous circular oven. Opposite the door, upon a flame-encompassed throne sat the Evil One with the lost archangels around him, seated on benches of terrible fire, according to the rank they formerly bore in the region of light—the lovely whelps—it would only be a waste of words to attempt to describe how atrociously ugly they were, and the longer I gazed upon them, sevenfold more frightful did they become. In the centre above Lucifer's head was a huge hand grasping an awful bolt. The princesses, after paying their courtesy, immediately returned to their duties on earth. No sooner had they departed than at the King's bidding, a gigantic devil with cavernous jaws set up a roar, louder than the discharge of a hundred cannon, and as loud, were it possible, as the last trump, to proclaim the infernal Parliament, and behold, without delay, the court and hall are filled by the rabble of hell in every shape, each upon the form and image of that particular sin he was wont to urge upon men. After enjoining silence, Lucifer, looking steadfastly upon the chieftains nearest him, began and spake these gracious words:-

"Ye peers of this profoundest gulf, princes of the hopeless gloom, if we have lost the place we erst possessed, when, clothed with brightness, we dwelt in those celestial, happy realms; yet, however great our fall, 'twas glorious, nought less than all did we hazard, nor is all lost—for, behold regions wide and deep extending to the utmost bounds of desolate Perdition still 'neath our sway. 'Tis true we reign while racked with raging torment, yet, for spirits of our majesty, 'tis better to reign in hell than serve in heaven. {85a} And what is more, we have well nigh won another world, a greater than a fifth of earth has been for long beneath my standard. And although our Omnipotent Enemy sent his own Son to die for them, I, by my pleasing guile, gain ten for every one He gains through his crucified Son. Though we cannot aspire to do hurt to Him on high who hurls His all-conquering thunder, yet revenge by whatsoever means is sweet. {85b} Let us then bring ruin on the rest of men who adore our Destroyer. Well do I recollect the time when ye caused them, their armies and their cities, to be consumed in horrible combustion, yea and caused nigh all the dwellers on the earth to fall through the whelming waters into this fire. But now, although your strength and innate cruelty are no whit less, ye have been somewhat listless; were it not for this, we would have long ago destroyed the godly few, and brought the earth one with this our vast domain. But know this, ye grim ministers of my wrath, if ye henceforth be not up and doing, valiantly and with all haste, seeing the brevity of our alloted time, I swear by Hell and by Perdition, and by the vast, eternal gloom, that upon you, yourselves, my ire first shall fall, with pain the like of which the oldest amongst you hath never proved." Whereupon he frowned until the court became sevenfold darker than before.

Next him, Moloch one of the infernal potentates, stood up, and after making due obeisance to his king, spake thus:- "Oh Emperor of the Sky, great ruler of the darkness, none ever doubted my desire to practice utmost bale and cruelty, for that has always been my pleasure; no sound was more delightful to mine years than the shrieks of children perishing in the flames outside Jerusalem, where in former days they were sacrificed to me. And also after our crucified foe had returned to his celestial home, I, during the reigns of ten emperors, continued as long as it availed me, slaying and burning his followers in my attempt to sweep the Christians off the face of the earth. And afterwards in Paris, in England, and in several other places, did I cause many a massacre of them; but what have we gained? The tree whose branches are lopped off grows but the quicker; we snarl without the power of biting."

"Pshaw!" exclaimed Lucifer, "shame! cowardly hosts that ye are! Never more will I place my trust in you. This work I myself will perform, this enterprise none shall partake with me. {87a} In mine own imperial majesty will I descend upon the earth, and alone will I devour all therein contained; henceforth no man shall there be found to worship the Most High." Thereon he gave one terrific flying leap to start—a blaze of living fire, but the hand overhead whirls the terrible dart so that he trembles notwithstanding his rage, and ere he had gone far, an invisible hand drags the brute back by the chain for all his struggles; his rage becomes sevenfold more vehement, his eyes more fierce than dragons, thick black clouds of smoke issue from his nostrils, livid flames from his mouth and bowels, while he gnaws his chain in his grief, and mutters fearful blasphemy and awful oaths.

At last, finding how futile was his attempt to sunder his bonds and how unavailing to contend against the Almighty, he returned to his throne and resumed his speech, in words somewhat more calm, but twice as malignant: "Though none but the Omnipotent Thunderer could overcome my power and my guile, to Him I am unwillingly constrained to submit; but I can pour forth the vials of my wrath here below, nearer at hand, and let loose my ire upon those who are already under my banner, and within the length of my chain. Arise, ye too, ministers of destruction, lords of the unquenchable fires, and as my anger and my venom overflow, and my malice rush forth, do ye assiduously scatter all broadcast among the damned, and chiefly among the Christians; urge on the engines of torture to their uttermost; devise and invent; increase the heat of the fire and the ebullition, until the hissing flood of the cauldrons overwhelms them; and when their unutterable woes are extremest, then sneer at them and mockingly reproach them, and when ye have exhausted all your store of scorn and gall, hie to me and ye shall be replenished."

A great stillness had brooded over hell for some time, while the pains grew far more unbearable by being given no vent. But now the silence which Lucifer had enjoined was broken, when the fierce butchers, like bears maddened by hunger, fell upon their captives; then there arose such doleful cries, such dismal howling, from every quarter, louder than the roar of rushing torrents, than the rumble of an earthquake, till hell itself became ten times more horrible. I would have died, had not my friend saved me. "Quaff deep this time," said he, "to give thee strength to behold things yet more dire." Hardly were the words from his lips, when lo! heavenly Justice, who sits above the abyss, guardian of the gates of Hell, advanced scourging three men with rods of fiery scorpions. "Ha ha," cried Lucifer, "here are three reverend gentlemen whom Justice thought worthy himself to conduct to my kingdom." "Woe's me," said one of the three, "who ever wanted him to take the trouble?" "That matters not," answered he, with a look that made the fiends wax pale, and tremble so that they knocked one against the other, "it was the will of the Infinite Creator that I myself should lead to their home such accursed murderers." "Sirrah,"—addressing one of the demons,—"open me the fold of the assassins, where Cain, Nero, Bradshaw, Bonner, Ignatius and innumerable others like them dwell." "Alack, alack! we have never slain any man," cried one. "No thanks to you that you did not, for time only was wanting," said Justice. When the den was opened, there came out such a hideous blast of blood-red flames, and such a shriek as if a thousand dragons were uttering their death-wail. As Justice was passing by on his return, in an instant he caused such a tempest of fiery whirlwinds to fall upon the Evil One and his princes that Lucifer was swept away, and with him Beelzebub, Satan, Moloch, Abadon, Asmodai, Dagon, Apolyon, Belphegor, Mephistopheles, and all their compeers, and they were hurled headlong into a whirlpool which opened and closed in the centre of the court and which, both in aspect and in the execrable stench that arose from it, was a hundredfold more foul and horrid than anything I had ever seen. Before I could ask aught, quoth the Angel: "This is the gulf that reaches to another great world." "What, pray, is that world called?" I enquired. "'Tis called the bottomless pit or the Nethermost Hell, the home of the devils, whither they now have gone. And those vast, dreary wilds, parts of which thou hast traversed, are called the Region of Despair, ordained for the condemned until the Judgment Day; then it will become one with the utmost, bottomless Hell; then will one of us come and seal up the devils and the damned together, never more to open upon them, never to all eternity. In the meantime they have leave to come to this colder country to torment lost souls. Yea, often are they suffered to wander through the air, and about the earth, to tempt men into the pernicious ways that lead to this horrible prison whence no man returns."

While listening to this account, and wondering that the entrance of Perdition should differ so from that of the Upper Hell, I heard the tremendous clash of arms, and the roar of artillery, from one quarter, and what seemed like loud-rumbling thunder answering from another quarter, while the deadly rocks resounded. "This is the turmoil of war!" I cried, "if there be war in hell." "There is," said he, "there cannot be but continuous warfare here." When we were on the point of going out to know of the affair, I beheld the jaws of the Pit open and belch forth thousands of hideous, greenish candles—for such had Lucifer and his chiefs become after surviving the tempest. But when he heard the din of war he turned more livid than Death, and began to call out, and levy armies of his proven veterans to suppress the tumult. While thus occupied he came across a little imp, who had escaped between the feet of the warriors. "What is the matter?" demanded the King. "Such a matter as will endanger your crown, an you look not to it." Close upon this one's heels another devilish courier in a harsh voice cries: "You that plan the disquietude of others, look now to your own peace; yonder are the Turks, the Papists and the murderous Roundheads in three armies, filling the whole plain of Darkness, committing every outrage and turning everything topsy-turvey." "How came they out?" demanded the Evil One, frowning more terribly than Demigorgon. "The Papists," said the messenger, "somehow or other broke out of their purgatory, and then, to pay off old scores, went to unhinge the portals of Mahomet's paradise, and let loose the Turks from their prison, and afterwards in the confusion, through some ill chance, Cromwell's crew escaped from their cells." Then Lucifer turned and peered beneath his throne, where every damned king lay, and commanded that Cromwell himself should be kept secure in his kennel, and that all the sultans should be guarded. Accordingly, Lucifer and his host hurried across the sombre wilds of darkness, each one's own person furnishing light and heat; guided by the tumultuous clangor he marched fearlessly upon them. Silence was proclaimed in the King's name, and Lucifer demanded the cause of such uproar in his realm. "May it please your infernal majesty," said Mahomet, "a quarrel arose between myself and Pope Leo as to which had done you the better service—my Koran or the Romish religion; and when this was going on a pack of Roundheads, who had broken out of their prison during the disorder, joined in and clamoured that their Solemn League and Covenant deserved more respect at your hands than either; so, from striving to striking from words to blows. But now, since your majesty hath returned from hell, I lay the matter for your decision." "Stay, we've not done with you yet," cried Pope Julius, and madly they engage once more, tooth and nail, until the strokes clashed like earthquakes; the three armies of the damned tore each other piecemeal, and like snakes became whole again, and spread far and wide over the jagged, burning crags, until Lucifer bade his veterans, the giants of Hell, separate them, which indeed was no easy task.

When the conflict ceased, Pope Clement spake—"Thou Emperor of Horrors, no throne has ever performed more faithful and universal service to the infernal crown than have the bishops of Rome, throughout a large portion of the world, for eleven centuries, and I hope you will allow none to vie with them for your favor." "Well," said a Scotch-man of Cromwell's gang, "however great has been the service of the Koran for these eight hundred years, and of popish superstitions for a longer period, yet the Covenant has done far more since its appearance, and everyone begins to doubt the others and be weary of them, but we are still increasing, the wide world over, and have much power in the island of your foes, that is, in Britain and in London, the happiest city under the sun." "Ha ha," exclaimed Lucifer, "if I hear rightly ye too are about to suffer disgrace there. But whatever ye may have done in other kingdoms, I will have none of your rioting in mine. Wherefore make your peace forthwith under the penalty of more woes, bodily and spiritual." And at the word I could see many of the fiends and all the damned, with their tails between their hoofs, steal away to their holes in fear of a change for the worse.

Then after ordering all to be locked up in their lairs, and punishing and dismissing the officers whose carelessness had allowed them to break loose, Lucifer and his counsellors returned to the court, and sat once more upon the fiery thrones, according to their rank; and when silence had been obtained, and the court cleared, a burly, lob-shouldered devil threw down at the bar a fresh load of prisoners. "Is this the way to Paradise?" asked one (for they had no idea where they were). "Or if this be Purgatory," said another, "I have a dispensation under the Pope's own signet to pass straight on to Paradise, without a moment's delay anywhere; wherefore show us the way, or by the Pope's toe, we will have him punish you." "Ha ha," laughed a thousand demons, and Lucifer himself opened his tusked jaws some half a yard in scornful laughter. At which the new comers were sore amazed. "Look ye," said one, "if we have missed our way in the dark, we will pay for guidance." "Ha ha," cried Lucifer, "ye shall not hence till ye have paid the uttermost farthing." But on searching them it was found that they had one and all left their trouser behind. "Ye went past Paradise on the left above those mountains there," said the Evil One, "and although it is easy to descend hither, to return is next to impossible, so dark and intricate is the country, so many steep ascents of flaming iron are there on the way, and huge imminent rocks, overhanging glaciers of insurmountable ice, and here and there, a headlong cataract, all too difficult to clamber over, if ye have not nails as long as a devil's. Ho there! convey these blockheads to our paradise to their companions." Just then I heard voices drawing nigh, swearing and cursing fearfully. "Fiends' blood! a myriad devils seize me if ever I go!" and immediately the noisy crew were cast down before the court. "There," exclaimed the steed that bore them, "there is fuel with the best in hell." "What are they?" asked Lucifer. "Past masters in the gentle art of swearing and cursing," said he, "who knew the language of hell as well as we do." "A lie to your face, i' the devil's name!" cried one. "Sirrah! wilt take my name in vain?" said the Evil One. "Ho, seize them and hook them by their tongues, to that burning precipice, and be at hand to serve them; if on one devil they call, or on a thousand, they shall have their fill."

When these had departed, a gigantic fiend calls loudly for clearing the bar, and throws down thereat a man who was a load in himself. "What hast thou there?" demanded Lucifer. "An innkeeper," answered he. "What?" cried the King, "only one innkeeper, when they used to come by the thousands. Hast thou, sirrah, not been out for ten years, and dost bring hither but one, and such an one as would serve us in the world better than thee, foul lazy hound!" "You are too just to condemn me before hearing me," pleaded he, "he was the only one laid to my charge, and now I am rid of him. But I despatched you from his house many an idler who drank his family's maintenance, and now and then a dicer, and card player, a fine swearer, an innocent glutton, a negligent tapster and a maid, harsh in the kitchen, but never a kinder abed or in the cellar." "Although this fellow deserves to be with the flatterers beneath," said the Evil One, "natheless take him to his comrades in the cell of the liquid-poisoners, among the apothecaries and drugsters who have concocted drinks to murder their customers; boil him well for that he did not brew better beer." "By your leave," began the innkeeper tremblingly, "I deserve no such treatment, the trade must be carried on." "Couldst thou not have lived," quoth the Evil One, "without allowing rioting and gambling, wantonness and drunkenness, oaths and quarrels, slanders and lies? and wouldst thou, old hell-hound, now live better than we? Prithee, tell what evil have we here which thou hadst not at thine home, save the punishment alone? Indeed, to speak the plain truth here, the infernal heat and cold are nothing new to thee. Hast thou not seen sparks of our fire upon the tongues of the cursers and the scolds, whilst dragging their husbands home? Was there not a deal of the undying flame on the drunkard's lips or in the eyes of the angry? And couldst thou not perceive a trace of hellish cold in the rake's generosity, and especially in thine own kindness towards him as long as he had anything in his possession; in the mocker's jest; in the praise of the envious and of the defamer, in the promises of the lecherous, or in the limbs of thy boon companions, benumbed beneath thy tables? Is hell strange to thee whose very home is a hell? Aroint thee, flamhound, to thy penance!"

After that ten devils, panting heavily, drop their burdens upon the fiery floor. "What have ye?" asked Lucifer. "We have what a day or two ago were called kings," answered one of the fiendish steeds. (I sought carefully to see whether Lewis of France were among them.) "Throw them here," bade the King; and at that they were thrown amongst the other crowned heads that lay beneath Lucifer's feet; and following the monarchs came their courtiers and their flatterers to receive sentence. Before I had time to ask any question, I heard the blast of brazen trumpets and shouts. "Make way, make way," and at once there came in view a herd of assize-men and devils bearing the train of six justices, and millions of their race—barristers, {95a} attorneys, clerks, recorders, bailiffs, catchpolls, and the litigous busybody. I wondered that none of them was examined; but in truth, they knew the matter had gone too far against them, so none of the learned counsels opened their lips, but the busybody threatened that he would bring an action for false imprisonment against Lucifer. "Thou shalt have good cause of complaint now," said the Evil One, "and never see a court at all." Then he donned his red cap, and with unbearable, haughty mien, said: "Go, take the justices to the hall of Pontius Pilate, to Master Bradshaw, who condemned King Charles; pack the barristers with the assassins of Sir Edmundbury Godfrey, {95b} and their other false co-partners who simulate mutual contention, merely in order to slay whomsoever might interpose. Go, greet that prudent lawyer, who, when dying offered a thousand pounds for a good conscience, and ask whether he is now willing to give more. Roast the lawyers by the fire of their own parchments and papers till their learned bowels burst forth; let the litigous busybodies hang above them with their nostrils deepest down the roasting chimneys, in order to inhale the noxious vapors arising thence, to see if they will ever get their fill of law. Throw the recorders amongst the retailers who prevent or forestall the sale of corn, who mix it and sell the mixture at double the price of the pure corn: similarly, they demand for wrong double the fees formerly given for right. As to the catchpolls, let them free to hunt about and lie in the ravines and bushes of the earth, to capture those that are debtors to the infernal crown; for what devil of you could do the work better than they?"

Shortly there appear twenty demons, like Scotch-men, with packs across their shoulders, which they cast down before the throne of despair, and which turned out to be gipsies. "Ho there!" cried Lucifer, "how was it that ye who knew the fortune of others so well, did not know that your own fortune was leading you hither?" No answer was given, for they were amazed at seeing here beings uglier than themselves. "Throw the tan- faced loons to the witches," bade the King, "there are no cats or rush- lights here for them, but divide a frog between them every ten thousand years, if they will be quiet and not deafen us with their barbarous chatter."

After them came, methought, thirty labourers. Everybody wondered to see so many of that honest calling, so seldom did any of them appear; but they did not all come from the same parts nor for like faults—some for raising prices, many for withholding their tithes, and defrauding the parson of his dues, others for leaving their work to follow after the gentry, and who in trying to stride along with their masters, strained themselves, some for doing work on the Sabbath, some for thinking of their sheep and kine in church, instead of giving attention to the reading of Holy Writ, and others for wrongful bargains. When Lucifer began to question them, lo! they were all as pure as gold, and not one of them found anything amiss in himself so as to deserve such a dwelling place. One can scarcely believe what neat excuses each one had to hide his sin, although they were already in hell for it, offering them merely out of evil disposition to thwart Lucifer and to accuse the righteous Judge, who had condemned them, of injustice. But it was still more astonishing to see how cleverly the Evil One exposed their foul sins, and how he answered with a home-thrust their false excuses. When these were about to receive their infernal doom, forty scholars were borne forward by porpoise-shaped fiends, uglier, if possible, than Lucifer himself. And when they heard the labourers pleading, they too waxed bold to give excuses, but what ready answers the old Serpent had for them with all their knavery and learning! As it happened that I heard similar pleas in another court of justice I will hereafter recount them together, and now proceed with what I saw in the meantime.

Lucifer had barely pronounced their sentence—that they should be driven to the great glacier in the land of eternal ice, a doom that set their teeth a-gnashing, even before they saw their prison, when suddenly, hell again most marvellously resounded with the crash of terrible bolts, with loud-rolling thunder, and with every noise of war. Lucifer loured and grew pale; in a moment, there flew in a wry-footed imp, panting and trembling. "What is the matter?" cried Lucifer. "A matter fraught with the greatest peril for you since hell is hell," said the dwarf, "all the ends of the kingdom of darkness have risen up against you and against each other, especially those between whom there was longstanding enmity, who are already locked together fang to fang, so that it is impossible to pull them apart. Soldiers have attacked the doctors for taking away their trade of slaughter; a myriad userers have fallen upon the lawyers, for claiming a share in the business of robbery; the busybodies and the swindlers are tearing the gentlemen, limb-meal, for unnecessary swearing and cursing, whereby they gained their living. Harlots and their minions, and a million other old friends and former comrades have fallen out with one another irreconcilably. But worst of all is the fray raging between the misers and their own offspring, for wasting the goods and money which, the old pinchfists aver, 'cost us much pain on earth, and here endless anguish.' Their sons, on the other hand, cursing and rending them outrageously, call for eternal ruin upon their heads for leaving overmuch wealth to madden them with pride and riotous living, when a little, under the blessing of heaven, would have rendered them happy in both worlds." "Enough, enough," cried Lucifer, "there is more need of arms than words. Return, sirrah, and play the spy in every watch to find the where and why of this great negligence, for there's some treachery in the air we wot not of as yet." The imp departed at his bidding, and in the meantime Lucifer and his compeers arose in terror and exceeding fear, and ordered the levying of the bravest armies of the black angels; and having disposed them, he himself started foremost to quell the rebellion, his chieftains and their hosts going other ways. The royal army, like shafts of lightning across the hideous gloom, advanced (and we in their rear); ere long the uproar falls upon their ears; a fiendish bellower cries, "Silence, in the King's name!" to no purpose, it would be an easier task to hale apart old beavers than one of these. But when Lucifer's veterans dashed into their midst, the growls, and blows, and battering lessened. "Silence in Lucifer's name!" roared the devil a second time. "What is this," demanded the King, "and who are these?" "Nothing, sire, but that in the general confusion, the drovers came across the cuckolds, and set a-butting to prove whose horns were the harder; it might have turned out seriously, had not your horned giants joined in the affray." "Well," said Lucifer, "since ye are all so ready with your arms, come with me to trounce the other rebels." But when the rumour reached these that Lucifer was approaching with three horned armies, everyone made for his lair.