Our pleasant discourse continuing, I desir'd her to bring her lady: she readily consented, and taking hold of her petticoats, tript it into a lawrel labyrinth, that border'd on the walk; 'twas not long e're she usher'd her lady to me; a beauty excelling even the flattery of painters; words can't express so perfect a creature; whatever I shou'd say of her wou'd fall short of what she was. Her hair spread all o're her shoulders, and seem'd in easie curls to wanton in the air. Her forehead oval, and that naturally inclin'd the hair to its advantage. The proportion of her eye-brows was most correct. Her eyes eclypst the glory of the brightest star. Her nose had an easie turn, and mouth was such Pragiteless believ'd Venus had. Then her chin, her neck, her arms, and feet, gently girt with embroider'd sandals, to whose whiteness the Parian marble wou'd serve but as a foil. 'Twas then I began to despise my old mistress Doris. And thus broke out:

"Sure amorous Jove's a holy tale above; With fancy'd arts that wait upon his love, When we are blest with such a charm as this, And he no rival of our happiness: How well the bull wou'd now the god become: Or his grey-hairs to be transform'd to down? Here's Danae's self, a touch from her wou'd fire And make the god in liquid joys expire."

She was pleas'd, and smil'd with such an air, that, she seem'd like the moon in all her glories breaking through a cloud, when addressing her self, her pretty fingers humouring the turn of her voice, "If a fine woman, and that but this year, has been acquaint'd with a man," said she, "may deserve your love, let me commend a mistress to you. I am sensible you have a comrade already, nor have I thought it below me to inquire it: But why not a mistress too? I enter the list on the same bottom with your comrade; nor do I desire to engross all the caresses; only think me deserving, and confer them as you please."

"Let me beseech you, madam," return'd I, "by all those cupids in your face and meen, not to scorn to admit a stranger into the number of your admirers. You'l find him most religious, if you accept his devotions, and that you shou'd not suspect I believe the way to this heaven, unlike all others, may be trod gratis, I present you with my comrade."

"What?" said she, "do you give him without whom you cou'd not live? On whose lips your very being hangs? Whom you so love, as I cou'd you." Her words were attended with such a grace at their delivery, and the sweet sound so, charm'd the yielding air, you wou'd have sworne some syren had been breathing melodies. Thus rapt with every thing so amazing, and fancying a glory shin'd in every part, I ventur'd to enquire what name the goddess own'd? "My maid, I perceive," said she, "has not inform'd you, I am call'd Circe; I would not have you believe tho, I bear that name, that I derive my original from Apollo; nor that my mother, while she lay in the god's imbraces, held the fiery steeds: Yet I shall know enough of heaven, if fate will give you to my arms. And who knows the dark decrees? Therefore come, my dear, and crown my wishes. Nor need you fear any malicious disturbance of our joys. Your comrade is far enough from hence."

Upon which she threw her downy arms about me, and led me to a plat of ground, the pride of nature, deckt with a gay variety of every pleasing object.

On Ida's top, when Jove his nymph carest, And lawless in open view exprest: His Mother Earth in all her charms was seen, The rose, the violet, the sweet jessamin, And the fair lily smiling on the green. Such was the plat on which my Venus lay, But secret our love, more glorious the day, When all around was bright, and as the nymph as gay.

Here we prepar'd for battel, and through ten thousand kisses prest to a closer engagement; but a sudden weakness rob'd me of my arms. Thus cheated in her expectations, she highly resenting it, asks whether her lips, her breath, or some ill scent of any part of her, offended me. Or, if none of those, whether I fear'd Gito?

I was so asham'd of my self, that if there was any spark of the man left in me, I lost it. And finding every part of me feeble, and as it were lifeless: "I beseech you, madam," said I, "don't triumph over my misery; I'm surely bewitcht."

So slight an excuse could not allay her resentment, but giving me a disdainful glance, she turn'd to her maid, and, "I prithee Chrysis," said she, "be free with me, don't flatter your mistress. Is there any thing misbecoming or ungentle about me? Or have I us'd art to hide any natural deformity? I don't know how you've drest me to-day."

Upon which, e're Chrysis cou'd make a return, she snatcht a pocket-glass from her, and after she had practis'd all her looks, to try if any appear'd less charming than before, she took hold of her petticoats that were a little rumpled with lying on, and immediately ran to a neighbouring temple dedicated to Venus.

I could not tell what to say or do, but as if I had seen a vision, at last began with horror to consider whether I had been rob'd of any real joy.

So when a dream our wandring eyes betrays, And to our side some hidden gold conveys; Our busie hands the inviting treasure seize, And hid in guilty folds the fancy'd prize. Sweating we fear lest any conscious spy, Might search our bosom, and the theft descry. But with our sieep when all our joys are o're, And minds restor'd to what they were before, Concern'd, we wish the fancy'd loss regain'd, And with the image still are entertain'd.

This misfortune might make me justly think it not only a true vision, but real witchcraft; for I had so long lost my strength I cou'd not rise: My mind at last, a little freed, began by degrees to recover its vigour, upon which I went to my lodging, and dissembling a faintness, lay down on the bed. A little after Gito, being inform'd I was ill, came to me, much troubl'd; but to allay his concern, I told him I was only a little weary, and had a mind for a nap. Several things I talkt to him of, but not a word of my last adventure, for I was afraid because I knew he envy'd every one that had a charm for me, and to prevent his suspicion, throwing my arms about him, I endeavour'd to give a proof of my love; but disappointed of the expectation I had rais'd him to, he rose very angry from my side, and accusing my weakness, and strange behaviour to him, told me that of late he had found my chief favours were bestow'd in another's arms.

"My love to you, Gito," said I, "has ever been the same, but now my dancing-days submit to reason."

"Therefore," said he, laughing at me, "in the name of Socrates, I thank you, because like him, you propose to love me: Alcibiades, Encolpius, did not rise a virgin from that philosopher's side."

"Then," added I, "believe me, Gito, I hardly know I've any thing of man about me, how useless lyes the terrible part, where once I was Achilles."

When he found how unfit I was to confer the favours he wanted, and to prevent suspicion, of his privacy with me, he jumpt up and ran to another part of the house.

He was hardly gone, e're Chrysis enter'd my chamber, and gave me a billet from her mistress, in which I found this written:

"Had I rais'd my expectation, I might deceiv'd complain; now I'm obliged to your impotence, that has made me sensible how much too long I have trifl'd with mistaken hopes of pleasure. Tell me, sir, how you design to bestow your self, and whether you dare rashly venture home on your own legs? for no physician ever allow'd it cou'd be done without strength. Let me advise your tender years to beware of a palsie: I never saw any body in such danger before. On my conscience you are just going! and shou'd the same rude chilliness seize your other parts, I might be soon, alas! put upon the severe trial of weeping at your funeral. But if you would not suspect me of not being sincere, tho' my resentment can't equal the injury, yet I shall not envy the cure of a weak unhappy wretch. If you wou'd recover your strength, ask Gito, or rather not ask him for't—I can assure a return of your vigour if you cou'd sleep three nights alone: As to myself I am not in the least apprehensive of appearing to another less charming than I have to you. I am told neither my glass nor report does flatter me. Farewell, if you can."

When Chrysis found I had read the reproach, "This is the custom, sir," said she, "and chiefly of this city, where the women are skill'd in magick-charms, enough to make the moon confess their power, therefore the recovery of any useful instrument of love becomes their care; 'tis only writing some soft tender things to my lady, and you make her happy in a kind return. For 'tis confest, since her disappointment, she has not been her self." I readily consented, and calling for paper, thus addrest myself:

"'Tis confest, madam, I have often sinned, for I'm not only a man, but a very young one, yet never left the field so dishonourably before. You have at your feet a confessing criminal, that deserves whatever you inflict: I have cut a throat, betray'd my country, committed sacrilege; if a punishment for any of these will serve, I am ready to receive sentence. If you fancy my death, I wait you with my sword; but if a beating will content you, I fly naked to your arms. Only remember, that 'twas not the workman, but his instruments that fail'd: I was ready to engage, but wanted arms. Who rob'd me of them I know not; perhaps my eager mind outrun my body; or while with an unhappy haste I aim'd at all; I was cheated with abortive joys. I only know I don't know what I've done: You bid me fear a palsie, as if the diseast cou'd do greater that has already rob'd me of that, by which I shou'd have purchas'd you. All I have to say for my self, is this, that I will certainly pay with interest the arrears of love, if you allow me time to repair my misfortune."

Having sent back Chrysis with this answer, to encourage my jaded body after the bath and strengthening oyles, had a little rais'd me, I apply'd my self to strong meats, such as strong broths and eggs, using wine very moderately; upon which to settle my self, I took a little walk, and returning to my chamber, slept that night without Gito; so great was my care to acquit my self honourably with my mistress, that I was afraid he might have tempted my constancy, by tickling my side.

The next day rising without prejudice, either to my body or spirits, I went, tho' I fear'd the place was ominous, to the same walk, and expected Chrysis to conduct me to her mistress; I had not been long there, e're she came to me, and with her a little old woman. After she had saluted me, "What, my nice Sir Courtly," said she, "does your stomach begin to come to you?"

At what time, the old woman, drawing from her bosome, a wreath of many colours, bound my neck; and having mixt spittle and dust, she dipt her finger in't, and markt my fore-head, whether I wou'd or not.

When this part of the charm was over, she made me spit thrice, and as often prest to my bosom enchanted stones, that she had wrapt in purple; Admotisque manibus temptare coepit inguinum vives. Dicto citius nervi paruerunt imperio manusque aniculae ingenti motu repleverunt. At illa gaudio exsultans, "vides," inquit, "Chrysis mea, vides quod aliis leporem excitavi?"

Never despair; Priapus I invoke To help the parts that make his altars smoke.

After this, the old woman presented me to Chrysis; who was very glad she had recover'd her mistress's treasure; and therefore hastening to her, she conducted me to a most pleasant retreat, deckt with all that nature cou'd produce to please the sight.

Where lofty plains o're-spread a summer shade, And well-trimm'd pines their shaking tops display'd, Where Daphne 'midst the cyprus crown'd her head. Near these, a circling river gently flows, And rolls the pebbles as it murmuring goes; A place design'd for love, the nightingale And other wing'd inhabitants can tell. That on each bush salute the coming day, And in their orgyes sing its hours away.

She was in an undress, reclining on a flowry bank, and diverting her self with a myrtle branch; as soon as I appear'd, she blusht, as mindful of her disappointment: Chrysis, very prudently withdrew, and when we were left together, I approacht the temptation; at what time, she skreen'd my face with the myrtle, and as if there had been a wall between us, becoming more bold; "what, my chill'd spark," began she, "have you brought all your self to day?"

"Do you ask, madam," I return'd, "rather than try?" And throwing my self to her, that with open arms was eager to receive me, we kist a little age away; when giving the signal to prepare for other joys, she drew me to a more close imbrace; and now, our murmuring kisses their sweet fury tell; now, our twining limbs, try'd each fold of love; now, lockt in each others arms, our bodies and our souls are join'd; but even here, alas! even amidst these sweet beginnings, a sudden chilliness prest upon my joys, and made me leave 'em not compleat.

Circe, enrag'd to be so affronted, had recourse to revenge, and calling the grooms that belong'd to the house, made them give me a warming; nor was she satisfi'd with this, but calling all the servant-wenches, and meanest of the house, she made 'em spit upon me. I hid my head as well as I cou'd, and, without begging pardon, for I knew what I had deserv'd, am turn'd out of doors, with a large retinue of kicks and spittle: Proselenos, the old woman was turn'd out too, and Chrysis beaten; and the whole family wondering with themselves, enquir'd the cause of their lady's disorder.

I hid my bruises as well as I cou'd, lest my rival Eumolpus might sport with my shame, or Gito be concern'd at it; therefore as the only way to disguise my misfortune, I began to dissemble sickness, and having got in bed, to revenge my self of that part of me, that had been the cause of all my misfortunes; when taking hold of it,

With dreadful steel, the part I wou'd have lopt, Thrice from my trembling hand the razor dropt. Now, what I might before, I could not do, For cold as ice the fearful thing withdrew; And shrunk behind a wrinkled canopy, Hiding his head from my revenge and me. Thus, by his fear, I'm baulkt of my design, When I in words more killing vent my spleen.

At what time, raising myself on the bed, in this or like manner, I reproacht the sullen impotent: With what face can you look up, thou shame of heaven and man? that can'st not be seriously mention'd. Have I deserv'd from you, when rais'd within sight of heavens of joys, to be struck down to the lowest hell? To have a scandal fixt on the very prime and vigour of my years, and to be reduc'd to the weakness of an old man? I beseech you, sir, give me an epitaph on my departed vigour; tho' in a great heat I had thus said,

He still continu'd looking on the ground, Nor more, at this had rais'd his guilty head, Than th' drooping poppy on its tender stalk.

Nor when I had done, did I less repent of my ridiculous passion, and with a conscious blush, began to think, how unaccountable it was, that forgetting all shame, I shou'd contend with that part of me, that all men of sence, reckon not worth their thoughts. A little after, relapsing to my former humour: But what's the crime, began I, if by a natural complaint I was eas'd of my grief? or how is it, that we blame our stomachs or bellies, when 'tis our heads that are distemper'd? Did not Ulysses beat his breast, as if that had disturb'd him? And don't we see the actors punish their eyes, as if they heard the tragick scene? Those that have the gout in their legs, swear at them; Those that have it in their fingers, do so by them: Those that have sore eyes, are angry with their eyes.

Why do the strickt-liv'd Cato's of the age, At my familiar lines so gravely rage? In measures loosly plain, blunt satyr flows, And all the people so sincerely shows. For whose a stranger to the joys of love? Who, can't the thoughts of such lost pleasures move? Such Epicurus own'd the chiefest bliss, And such lives the gods themselves possess.

There's nothing more deceitful than a ridiculous opinion, nor more ridiculous, than an affected gravity. After this, I call'd Gito to me; and "tell me," said I, "but sincerely, whether Ascyltos, when he took you from me, pursu'd the injury that night, or was chastly content to lye alone?" The boy with his finger at his eyes, took a solemn oath, that he had no incivility offer'd him by Ascyltos.

This drove me to my wits end, nor did I well know what to say: For why, I consider'd, shou'd I think of the twice mischievous accident that lately befell me? At last, I did what I cou'd to recover my vigour: and willing to invoke the assistance of the gods, I went out to pay my devotions to Priapus, and as wretched as I was, did not despair, but kneeling at the entry of the chamber, thus beseecht the god:

"Bacchus and Nymphs delight, O mighty God! Whom Cynthia gave to rule the blooming wood. Lesbos and verdant Thasos thee adore, And Lydians, in loose flowing dress implore, And raise devoted temples to thy power. Thou Dryad's joy, and Bacchus's guardian, hear My conscious prayer, with an attentive ear. My hands with guiltless blood I never stain'd, Or sacrilegiously the gods prophan'd. To feeble me, restoring blessings send, I did not thee, with my whole self offend. Who sins thro' weakness is less guilty thought, Be pacify'd, and spare a venial fault. On me, when smiling fate shall smiling gifts bestow, I'll not ungrateful to thy godhead go. A destin'd goat shall on thy altar lye, And the horn'd parent of my flock shall dye. A sucking pig appease thy injur'd shrine, And hallow'd bowls o're-flow with generous wine. Then thrice thy frantick votaries shall round Thy temple dance, with youth and garlands crown'd, In holy drunkenness thy orgies sound."

While I was thus at prayers, an old woman, with her hair about her eyes, and disfigur'd with a mournful habit, coming in, disturb'd my devotions; when taking hold of me, she drew all fear out of the entry; and "what hag," said she, "has devour'd your manhood? Or what ominous carcase have you stumbl'd over in your nightly walks? You have not acquitted your self above a boy; but faint, weak, and like a horse o'recharg'd in a steep, tyr'd have lost your toyl and sweat; nor content to sin alone, but have unreveng'd against me, provokt the offended gods?"

When leading me, obedient to all her commands, a second time to the cell of a neighbouring priestess of Priapus, she threw me upon the bed, and taking up a stick that fastened the door, reveng'd her self on me, that very patiently receiv'd her fury: and at the first stroak, if the breaking of the stick had not lessned its force, she might have broke my head and arm.

I groan'd, and hiding with my arm my head, in a flood of tears lean'd on the pillow: Nor did she then, less troubled, sit on the bed, and began in a shrill voice, to blame her age, till the priestess came in upon us; and "what," said she, "do you do in my chappel, as if some funeral had lately been, rather than a holy-day, in which, even the mournful are merry?"

"Alas, my Enothea!" said she, "this youth was born under an ill star; for neither boy nor maid can raise him to a perfect appetite; you ne're beheld a more unhappy man: In his garden the weak willow, not the lusty cedar grows; in short, you may guess what he is, that cou'd rise unblest from Circe's bed."

Upon this, Enothea fixt her self between us, and moving her head a while; "I," said she, "am the only one that can give remedy for that disease; and not to delay it, let him sleep with me to night; and next morning, examine how vigorous I shall have made him.

"'All Nature's works my magick powers obey, The blooming earth shall wither and decay, And when I please, agen be fresh and gay. From rugged rocks, I make sweet waters flow, And raging billows to me humbly bow. With rivers, winds, when I command, obey, And at my feet, their fans contracted lay, Tygers and dragons too, my will obey. But these are small, when of my magick verse, Descending Cynthia does the power confess. When my commands, make trembling Phoebus reign, His fiery steeds, their journey back again. Such power have charms, by whose prevailing aid The fury of the raging bulls was laid. The Heaven-born Circe, with her magic song, Ulysses's men, did into monsters turn. Proteus, with this assum'd, what shape he wou'd. I, who this art so long have understood, Can send proud Ida's top into the main, And make the billows bear it up again.'"

I shook with fear at such a romantick promise, and began more intensively to view the old woman: Upon which, she cry'd out, "O Enothea, be as good as your word"; when, carefully wiping her hands, she lay down on the bed, and half smother'd me with kisses.

Enothea, in the middle of the altar, plac'd a turf-table, which she heapt with burning coals, and her old crack cup (for sacrifice) repair'd with temper'd pitch; when she had fixt it to the smoaking-wall from which she took it; putting on her habit, she plac'd a kettle by the fire, and took down a bag that hung near her, in which, a bean was kept for that use, and a very aged piece of a hog's forehead, with the print of a hundred cuts out; when opening the bag, she threw me a part of the bean, and bid me carefully strip it. I obey her command, and try, without daubing my fingers, to deliver the grain from its nasty coverings; but she, blaming my dullness, snatcht it from me, and skilfully tearing its shells with her teeth, spit the black morsels from her, that lay like dead flies on the ground. How ingenious is poverty, and what strange arts will hunger teach? The priestess seem'd so great a lover of this sort of life, that her humour appear'd in every thing about her, and her hut might be truly term'd, sacred to poverty.

Here shines no glittering ivory set with gold, No marble covers the deluded mold, By its own wealth deluded; but the shrine With simple natural ornaments does shine. Round Cere's bower, but homely willows grow, Earthen are all the sacred bowls they know. Osier the dish, sacred to use divine: Both course and stain'd, the jug that holds the wine. Mud mixt with straw, make a defending fort, The temple's brazen studs, are knobs of dirt. With rush and reed, is thatcht the hut it self, Where, besides what is on a smoaky shelf, Ripe service-berries into garlands bound, And savory-bunches with dry'd grapes are found. Such a low cottage Hecale confin'd, Low was her cottage, but sublime her mind. Her bounteous heart, a grateful praise shall crown, And muses make immortal her renown.

After which, she tasted of the flesh, and hanging the rest, old as her self, on the hook again; the rotten stool on which she was mounted breaking, threw her into the fire, her fall spilt the kettle, and what it held put out the fire; she burnt her elbow, and all her face was hid with the ashes that her fall had rais'd.

Thus disturb'd, I arose, and laughing, took her up; immediately, lest any thing shou'd hinder the offering, she ran for new fire to the neighbourhood, and had hardly got to the door, e're I was set upon by three sacred geese, that daily, I believe, about that time were fed by the old woman; they made an hideous noise, and, surrounding me, one tears my coat, another my shoes, while their furious captain made nothing of doing so by my legs; till seeing my self in danger, I began to be in earnest, and snatching up one of the feet of our little table, made the valiant animal feel my arm'd hand; nor content with a slight blow or two, but reveng'd my self with its death.

Such were the birds Alcides did subdue, That from his conquering arm t'ward Heaven flew: Such sure the harpyes were which poyson strow'd, On cheated Phineus's false deluding food. Loud lamentations shake the trembling air, The powers above the wild confusion share, Horrours disturb the orders of the sky, And frighted stars beyond their courses fly.

By this time the other two had eat up the pieces of the bean that lay scatter'd on the floor, and having lost their leader, return'd to the temple. When glad of the booty and my revenge, I heal'd the slight old woman's anger, I design'd to make off; and taking up my cloaths, began my march; nor had I reacht the door, e're I saw Enothea bringing in her hand an earthen pot fill'd with fire; upon which I retreated, and throwing down my cloaths, fixt my self in the entry, as if I were impatiently expecting her coming.

Enothea, entring, plac'd the fire, that with broken sticks she had got together, and having heapt more wood upon those, began to excuse her stay, that her friend wou'd not let her go before she had, against the laws of drinking, taken off three healths together. When looking about her, "What," said she, "have you been doing in my absence? Where's the bean?"

I, who thought I had behav'd my self very honourably, told her the whole fight; and to end her grief for the loss of her bean, presented the goose: when I shew'd the goose, the old woman set up such an out-cry, that you wou'd have thought the geese were re-entring the place.

In confusion and amaz'd at so strange a humour, I askt the meaning of her passion? or why she pity'd the goose rather than me.

But wringing her hands, "you wicked wretch," said she, "d'ye speak too? D'ye know what you've done? You've killed the gods delight, a goose the pleasure of all matrons: And, lest you shou'd think your self innocent, if a magistrate shou'd hear of it, you'd be hang'd. You have defil'd with blood my cell, that to this day had been inviolate. You have done that, for which, if any's so malicious, he may expel me my office."

She said, and trembling, rends her aged hairs, And both her cheeks with wilder fury tears: Sad murmurs from her troubl'd breast arise, A shower of tears there issu'd from her eyes. And down her face a rapid deluge run, Such as is seen, when a hills frosty crown, By warm Favonius is melted down.

Upon which, "I beseech you," said I, "don't grieve, I'll recompence the loss of your goose with an ostrich."

While amaz'd I spoke, she sat down on the bed, lamented her loss; at what time Proselenos came in with the sacrifice, and viewing the murder'd goose, and enquiring the cause, began very earnestly to cry and pity me, as it had been a father, not a goose I had slain. But tired with this stuff, "I beseech ye," said I, "tell me, tho' it had been a man I kill'd, won't gold wipe off the guilt? See here are two pieces of gold: with these you may purchase gods as well as geese."

Which, when Enothea beheld, "Pardon me, young man," said she, "I am only concern'd for your safety, which is an argument of love, not hatred; therefore we'll take what care we can to prevent a discovery: You have nothing to do, but intreat the gods to forgive the sin."

"Who e're has money may securely sail, On all things with all-mighty gold prevail. May Danae wed, or rival amo'rous Jove, And make her father pandar to his love. May be a poet, preacher, lawyer too: And bawling win the cause he does not know: And up to Cato's fame for wisdom grow. Wealth without law will gain at bar renown, How e're the case appears, the cause is won, Every rich lawyer is a Littleton. In short of all you wish you are possest, All things prevent the wealthy man's request, For Jove himself's the treasure of his chest."

While my thoughts were thus engag'd, she plac'd a cup of wine under my hands, and having cleans'd my prophane extended fingers with sacred leeks and parsley, threw into the wine, with some ejaculation, hazel-nuts, and as they sunk or swam gave her judgment; but I well knew the empty rotten ones wou'd swim, and those of entire kernels go to the bottom.

When applying herself to the goose, from its breast she drew a lusty liver, and then told me my future fortune. But that no mark of the murder might be left, she fixt the rent goose to a spit, which, as she said, she had fatten'd a little before, as sensible it was to die.

In the mean time the wine went briskly round, and now the old women gladly devour the goose, they so lately lamented; when they had pickt its bones, Enothea, half drunk, turn'd to me; "and now," said she, "I'll finish the charm that recovers your strength": When drawing out a leathern ensign of Priapus, she dipt it in a medley of oyl, small pepper, and the bruis'd seed of nettles, paulatim coepit inserere ano meo. Hoc crudelissima anus spurgit subinde umore femina mea. Nasturcii sucum cum abrotano miscet perfusisque inguinibus meis viridis urticae fascem comprehendit, omniaque infra umbilicum coepit lenta mann caedere. Upon which jumping from her, to avoid the sting, I made off. The old woman in a great rage pursu'd me, and tho' drunk with wine, and their more hot desires, took the right way: and follow'd me through two or three villages, crying stop thief; but with my hands all bloody, in the hasty flight, I got off.

When I got home, to ease my wearied limbs, I went to bed, but the thoughts of my misfortunes would not let me sleep; when considering how unparallel'd a wretch I was, I cry'd out, "Did my ever cruel fortune want the afflictions of love to make me more miserable? O unhappiness! Fortune and love conspire my ruin. Severer love spares me no way, or loving, or belov'd a wretch: Chrysis adores me, and is ever giving me occasion to address: She, that when she brought me to her mistress, despis'd me for my mean habit as one beneath her desires; that very Chrysis that so scorn'd my former fortune, pursues this even with the hazard of her own; and swore, when she first discover'd to me the violence of her love, that she wou'd be ever true to me. But Circe's in possession of my heart, I value none but her, and indeed who wears such charms? Compar'd to her, what was Ariadne or Lyda? what Helen, or even Venus? Paris himself the umpire of the wanton nymphs, if with these eyes he had seen her contending for the golden apple, wou'd have given both his Helen and the goddesses for her. If I might be admitted to kiss her sweet lips again, or once more press her divinely rising breasts, perhaps my vigour wou'd revive, which now I believe lyes opprest by witchcraft. I shou'd dispense with my reproaches, shou'd forget that I was beat; esteem my being turn'd out of doors, a sport; so I might be again happy in her favours."

These thoughts and the image of the beautiful Circe so rais'd my mind, that I oft, as if my love was in my arms, with a great deal of fruitless ardour, hug'd the bed-cloaths, till out of patience with the lasting affliction I began to reproach my impotence; yet recovering my presence of mind, I flew for comfort to the misfortunes of ancient hero's, and thus broke out:

"Not only me th' avenging gods pursue, Oft they their anger on their hero's throw; By Juno's rage Alcides Heaven bore, And Pelia's injur'd Juno knew before. Leomedon Heaven's dire resentments felt, And Telephus's blood washt out his guilt. We cannot from the wrathful godhead run Crafty Ulysses cou'd not Neptune shun. Provokt Priapus o're the land and sea, Has left his Hellespont to follow me."

Full of anxious cares I spent the night: and Gito, inform'd that I lay at home, enter'd my chamber by day-break, when having passionately complain'd of my loose life, he told me the family took much notice of my behaviour, that I was seldom in waiting, and that perhaps the company I kept wou'd be my ruin.

By this I understood he was inform'd of my affairs; and that some one had been in pursuit of me; upon which I ask't my Gito whether any body was to enquire for me. "Not this day," said he, "but yesterday there came a very pretty woman, who, when she had tir'd me with a long sifting discourse; at last told me you deserv'd to be punisht, and shou'd as a slave, if you longer complain'd."

This so sensibly touch'd me, that I began afresh to reproach fortune: Nor had I done, e're Chrysis came in, and wildly throwing her arms about me: "Now," said she, "I'll hold my wish, you're my love, my joy; nor may you think to quench this flame, but by a more close embrace."

I was much disturb'd at Chrysis's wantonness, and gave her fair language, to get rid of her; for I was very apprehensive of the danger of Eumolpus's hearing it, since his good fortune had made him so proud. I did therefore what I could to appease her rage; I dissembl'd love, whisper'd soft things, and in short manag'd it so like a lover, that she believ'd me one. I made her understand in what danger we both were, if she shou'd be found with me in that place, and that our lord Eumolpus punisht the least offence. Upon which she immediately made out, and the more hastily, because she saw Gito returning, who had left me a little before she came.

She was scarce out, when on a sudden one of the slaves came to me, and told me that our lord so highly resented my two days absence, that unless, as he advised me, I invented a good excuse to allay his heat, I shou'd certainly be punish'd.

Gito perceiving how concern'd I was, spoke not a word of the woman, but advis'd me to behave myself merrily to Eumolpus, rather than serious. I pursu'd the counsel, and put on so pleasant a face that he receiv'd me in drollery, without the grave stiffness of a master. He was pleasant on the success of my amours; prais'd my meen and wit that was so agreeable to the ladies: and "I'm no stranger," said he, "to your love of a very beautiful lady. But now, Encolpius, that rightly manag'd, may turn to our advantage; therefore do you personate the lover, I'll continue the character I've begun."

Matrona inter primas honesta, Philomela nomine quae multas saepe hereditates officio aetati extorserat, tum anus et floris extincti, filium filiamque ingerebat orbis senibus, et per hanc successionem artem suam perseverabat extendere. Ea ergo ad Eumolpum venit et commendare liberos suos eius prudentiae bonitatique . . . credere se et vota sua. Illum esse solum in toto orbe terrarum, qui praeceptis etiam salubribus instruere iuvenes quotidie posset. Ad summam, relinquere se pueros in domo Eumolpi, ut illum loquentem audirent: quae sola posset hereditas iuvenibus dari. Nec aliter fecit ac dixerat, filiamque speciosissimam cum fratre ephebo in cubiculo reliquit simulavitque se in templum ire ad vota nuncupanda. Eumolpus, qui tam frugi erat ut illi etiam ego puer viderer, non distulit puellam invitare ad pigiciaca sacra. Sed et podagricum se esse lumborumque solutorum omnibus dixerat, et si non servasset integram simulationem, periclitabatur totam paene tragoediam evertere. Itaque ut constaret mendacio fides, puellam quidem exoravit, ut sederet super commendatam bonitatem, Coraci autem imperavit ut lectum, in quo ipse iacebat, subiret positisque in pavimento manibus dominum lumbis suis commoveret. Ille lente parebat imperio puellaque artificium pari motu remunerabat. Cum ergo res ad affectum spectaret, clara Eumolpus voce exhortabatur Coraca, ut spissaret officium. Sic inter mercennarium amicamque positus senex veluti oscillatione ludebat. Hoc semel iterumque ingenti risu, etiam suo, Eumolpus fecerat. Itaque ego quoque, ne desidia consuetudinem perderem, dum frater sororis suae automata per clostellum miratur, accessi temptaturus, an pateretur iniuriam. Nec se reiciebat a blanditiis doctissimus puer, sed me numen inimicum ibi quoque invenit.

I was not so concern'd at this as the former; for a little after my strength return'd, and finding my self more vigorous, I cry'd out, the courteous gods are greater that have made me whole again. For Mercury, that conveys and reconveys our souls, by his favours has restor'd what his anger had seiz'd: Now I shall be in as great esteem as Protesilaus or any of the antients. Upon which taking up my cloaths, I shew'd my whole self to Eumolpus, he startl'd at first, but soon, to confirm his belief, with both hands chaf'd the mighty favour of the gods.

This great blessing makes us merry, we laughed at Philumene's cunning, and her childrens experience in the art, which wou'd profit 'em little with us; for to no other end were they left, but to be heirs to what we had. When reflecting on this sordid manner of deceiving childless age, I took occasion to consider the condition of our present fortune, and told Eumolpus that the deceivers might be deceiv'd, that therefore all our actions shou'd be of a piece with the character we bore. "That Socrates, the wisest of men, us'd to boast he never saw a tavern, nor ever had been in the common company that frequents such places. That nothing was more convenient than a discreet behaviour. All these are truths, nor shou'd any sort of men," added I, "more expect the sudden assaults of ill fortune, than those that covet what's other men's. But how should pick-pockets live, unless, by some well order'd trick, to draw fools together, they get imployment? As fish are taken with what they really eat, so men are to be cheated with something that's solid, not empty hope; thus the people of this country have hitherto receiv'd us very nobly: but when they find the arrival of no ship from Africk, laden, as you told 'em, with riches, and your retinue, the impatient deceivers, will lessen their bounty; therefore, or I'm mistaken, our fortune begins to repent her favours."

"I have thought of a means," said Eumolpus, "to make our deceivers continue their care of us." And drawing his will out of his purse, thus read the last lines of it.

"All that have legacies in this my last will and testament, my freed men excepted, receives 'em on these conditions, that they divide my body, and eat it before the people. And that they may not think it an unjust demand, let them know, that to this day 'tis the custom of many countries, that the relations of the dead devour the carcase; and for that reason they often quarrel with their sick kindred, because they spoil their flesh by lingering in a disease. I only instance this to my friends, that they may not refuse to perform my will; but with the same sincerity they wisht well to my soul, they might devour my body."

When he had read the chief articles, some that were more intimately acquainted with him, enter'd the chamber, and viewing the will, earnestly intreated him to impart the contents of it; he readily consented and read the whole. But when they heard the necessity of eating the carcass, they seem'd much concern'd at the strange proposal; but their insatiate love of the money made 'em stifle their passion, and his person was so awful to 'em, they durst not complain. But one of 'em, Gorgias by name, briskly told him he was willing to accept the conditions, so he might not wait for the body.

To this Eumolpus, "I'm not in the least apprehensive of your performance, nor that your stomach wou'd refuse the task, when to recompense one distasteful minute you promise ages of luxury. 'Tis but shutting your eyes, and supposing instead of man's flesh you were eating an hundred sesterces. Some sauce may be added to vary the tast; for no flesh pleases alone, but is prepar'd by art to commend it to the stomach. If you desire instances of this kind, to make ye approve my advice; the Saguntines when they were besieg'd by Hannibal eat humane bodies, without the hopes of an estate for doing it. The Petavii reduc'd to the last extremity did the like; nor had they further hopes in this banquet than to satisfie nature. When Scipio took Numanita, mothers were found with their children half eaten in their arms. But since the thoughts only of eating man's flesh create the lothing; 'tis but resolving, and you gain the mighty legacies I leave you."

Eumolpus recounted these shameless inhumanities with so much confusion, that his parasites began to suspect him, and more nearly considering our words and actions, their jealousie encreas'd with their observation, and they believ'd us perfect cheats. Upon which those who had receiv't us most nobly, resolv'd to seize us, and lustly take their revenge; but Chrysis, privy to all stratagems, gave me notice of their designs; the frightful news so struck me, that I made off with Gito immediately, and left Eumolpus to the mercy of his enemies; and in a few days we heard the Crotonians raging, that that old rascal shou'd live so long at such a sumptuous rate on the publick charge, sacrific'd him the Massilian way. Whenever the Massilians were visited with a plague, some one of the poorest of the people, for the sake of being well fed a whole year at the publick charge, wou'd offer himself a sacrifice to appease the gods: He after his year was up, drest in holy wreath and sacred garment, was led about the city with invocations on the gods that all the sins of the nation might be punisht in him; and so was thrown from a precipice.

THE END