A

LETTER

ON

MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE,

AND A NEW ONE PROPOSED.

WRITTEN IN 1729.



NOTE.

The matter of this tract explains itself. M'Culla's project was to put in circulation notes stamped on copper to supply the deficiency in copper coins which Wood attempted. Swift, apparently, took a mild tone towards M'Culla's plan, but thought that M'Culla would make too much out of it for himself. He made a counter proposal which is fully entered into here. Nothing came either of M'Culla's proposal or Swift's counter-suggestion.

* * * * *

The present text is based on that given in the eighth volume of the edition of 1765, and compared with that of Faulkner's edition of 1772. Faulkner's edition differs in many details from that given by Scott. The first sheet only of the original autograph manuscript is in the Forster Collection at South Kensington.

[T. S.]



A LETTER ON MR. M'CULLA'S PROJECT ABOUT HALFPENCE, AND A NEW ONE PROPOSED.

SIR,

You desire to know my opinion concerning Mr. M'Culla's project, of circulating notes stamped on copper, that shall pass for the value of halfpence and pence. I have some knowledge of the man; and about a month ago he brought me his book, with a couple of his halfpenny notes: but I was then out of order, and he could not be admitted. Since that time I called at his house; where I discoursed, the whole affair with him as thoroughly as I could. I am altogether a stranger to his character. He talked to me in the usual style, with a great profession of zeal for the public good, which is the common cant of all projectors in their Bills, from a First Minister of State down to a corn-cutter. But I stopped him short, as I would have done a better man; because it is too gross a pretence to pass at any time, and especially in this age, where we all know one another so well. Yet, whoever proposeth any scheme which may prove to be a public benefit, I shall not quarrel if it prove likewise very beneficial to the contriver. It is certain, that next to the want of silver, our greatest distress in point of coin is the want of small change, which may be some poor relief for the defect of the former, since the Crown will not please to take that work upon them here as they do in England. One thing in Mr. M'Culla's book is certainly right, that no law hinders me from giving a payable note upon leather, wood, copper, brass, iron, or any other material (except gold and silver) as well as upon paper. The question is, whether I can sue him on a copper bond, when there is neither his hand nor seal, nor witnesses to prove it? To supply this, he hath proposed, that the materials upon which his note is written, shall be in some degree of value equal to the debt. But that is one principal matter to be enquired into. His scheme is this:

He gives you a piece of copper for a halfpenny or penny, stamped with a promissory note to pay you twentypence for every pound of the said copper notes, whenever you shall return them. Eight and forty of the halfpenny pieces are to weigh a pound, and he sells you that pound coined and stamped for two shillings: by which he clearly gains a little more than sixteen per cent.; that is to say, twopence in every shilling. This will certainly arise to a great sum, if he should circulate as large a quantity of his notes, as the kingdom, under the great dearth of silver, may very probably require: enough indeed to make any Irish tradesman's fortune; which, however, I should not repine at in the least, if we could be sure of his fair-dealing.

It was obvious for me to raise the common objection, why Mr. M'Culla would not give security to pay the whole sum to any man who returned him his copper notes, as my Lord Dartmouth and Colonel Moor were, by their patents, obliged to do.[113] To which he gave some answers plausible enough. First, "He conceived that his coins were much nearer to the intrinsic value than any of those coined by patents, the bulk and goodness of the metal fully equalling the best English halfpence made by the crown: That he apprehended the ill-will of envious and designing people, who, if they found him to have a great vent for his notes, since he wanted the protection of a patent, might make a run upon him, which he could not be able to support: And lastly, that his copper, (as is already said,) being equal in value and bulk to the English halfpence, he did not apprehend they should ever be returned, unless a combination, proceeding from spite and envy, might be formed against him."

But there are some points in his proposals which I cannot well answer for; nor do I know whether he would be able to do it himself. The first is, whether the copper he gives us will be as good as what the crown provided for the English halfpence and farthings; and, secondly, whether he will always continue to give us as good; and, thirdly, when he will think fit to stop his hand, and give us no more; for I should be as sorry to lie at the mercy of Mr. M'Culla, as of Mr. Wood.

There is another difficulty of the last importance. It is known enough that the Crown is supposed to be neither gainer nor loser by the coinage of any metal; for they subtract, or ought to subtract, no more from the intrinsic value than what will just pay all the charges of the mint; and how much that will amount to, is the question. By what I could gather from Mr. M'Culla, good copper is worth fourteenpence per pound. By this computation, if he sells his copper notes for two shillings the pound, and will pay twentypence back, then the expense of coinage for one pound of copper must be sixpence, which is thirty per cent. The world should be particularly satisfied on this article before he vends his notes; for the discount of thirty per cent. is prodigious, and vastly more than I can conceive it ought to be. For, if we add to that proportion the sixteen per cent. which he avows to keep for his own profit, there will be a discount of about forty-six per cent. Or, to reckon, I think, a fairer way: Whoever buys a pound of Mr. M'Culla's coin, at two shillings per pound, carries home only the real value of fourteenpence, which is a pound of copper; and thus he is a loser of 41l. 13s. 4d. per cent.[114] But, however, this high discount of thirty per cent. will be no objection against M'Culla's proposals; because, if the charge of coinage will honestly amount to so much, and we suppose his copper notes may be returned upon him, he will be the greater sufferer of the two; because the buyer can lose but fourpence in the pound, and M'Culla must lose sixpence, which was the charge of the coinage.[115]

Upon the whole, there are some points which must be settled to the general satisfaction, before we can safely take Mr. M'Culla's copper notes for value received; and how he will give that satisfaction, is not within my knowledge or conjecture. The first point is, that we shall be always sure of receiving good copper, equal in bulk and fineness to the best English halfpence.

The second point is, to know what allowance he makes to himself, either out of the weight or mixture of his copper, or both, for the charge of his coinage. As to the weight, the matter is easy by his own scheme; for, as I have said before, he proposes forty-eight to weigh a pound, which he gives you for two shillings, and receives it by the pound at twentypence: so that, supposing pure copper to be fourteenpence a pound, he makes you pay thirty per cent. for the labour of coining, as I have already observed, besides sixteen per cent. when he sells it. But if to this he adds any alloy, to debase the metal, although it be not above ten per cent.; then Mr. M'Culla's promissory notes will, as to the intrinsic value of the metal, be above forty-seven per cent. discount.

For, subtracting ten per cent. off sixty pound's worth of copper, it will (to avoid fractions) be about five and a half per cent. in the whole 100l., which, added to

41 13 4 5 10 0 ———- will be per cent. 47 3 4

That we are under great distress for change, and that Mr. M'Culla's copper notes, on supposition of the metal being pure, is less liable to objection than the project of Wood, may be granted: but such a discount, where we are not sure even of our twentypence a pound, appears hitherto a dead weight on his scheme.

Since I writ this, calling to mind that I had some copper halfpence by me, I weighed them with those of Mr. M'Culla, and observed as follows:

First, I weighed Mr. M'Culla's halfpenny against an English one of King Charles II., which outweighed Mr. M'Culla's a fourth part, or twenty-five per cent.

I likewise weighed an Irish Patrick and David halfpenny, which outweighed Mr. M'Culla's twelve and a half per cent. It had a very fair and deep impression, and milled very skilfully round.

I found that even a common halfpenny, well-preserved, weighed equal to Mr. M'Culla's. And even some of Wood's halfpence were near equal in weight to his. Therefore, if it be true that he does not think Wood's copper to have been faulty, he may probably give us no better.

I have laid these loose thoughts together with little order, to give you, and others who may read them, an opportunity of digesting them better. I am no enemy to Mr. M'Culla's project; but I would have it put upon a better foot. I own that this halfpenny of King Charles II., which I weighed against Mr. M'Culla's, was of the fairest kind I had seen. However, it is plain the Crown could afford it without being a loser.[116] But it is probable that the officers of the mint were then more honest than they have since thought fit to be; for I confess not to have met those of any other year so weighty, or in appearance of so good metal, among all the copper coins of the three last reigns; yet these, however, did much outweigh those of Mr. M'Culla; for I have tried the experiment on a hundred of them. I have indeed seen accidentally one or two very light; but it must certainly have been done by chance, or rather I suppose them to be counterfeits. Be that as it will, it is allowed on all hands, that good copper was never known to be cheaper than it is at present. I am ignorant of the price, further than by his informing me that it is only fourteenpence a pound; by which, I observe, he charges the coinage at thirty per cent.; and therefore I cannot but think his demands are exorbitant. But, to say the truth, the dearness or cheapness of the metal do not properly enter into the question. What we desire is, that it should be of the best kind, and as weighty as can be afforded; that the profit of the contriver should be reduced from sixteen to eight per cent.; and the charge of coinage, if possible, from thirty to ten, or fifteen at most.

Mr. M'Culla must also give good security that he will coin only a determinate sum, not exceeding twenty thousand pounds; by which, although he should deal with all uprightness imaginable, and make his coin as good as that I weighed of King Charles II., he will, at sixteen per cent., gain three thousand two hundred pounds; a very good additional job to a private tradesman's fortune!

I must advise him also to employ better workmen, and make his impressions deeper and plainer; by which a rising rim may be left about the edge of his coin, to preserve the letter from wearing out too soon. He hath no wardens nor masters, or other officers of the mint, to suck up his profit; and therefore can afford to coin cheaper than the Crown, if he will but find good materials, proper implements, and skilful workmen.

Whether this project will succeed in Mr. M'Culla's hands, (which, if it be honestly executed, I should be glad to see,) one thing I am confident of, that it might be easily brought to perfection by a society of nine or ten honest gentlemen of fortune, who wish well to their country, and would be content to be neither gainers nor losers, further than the bare interest of their money. And Mr. M'Culla, as being the first starter of the scheme, might be considered and rewarded by such a society; whereof, although I am not a man of fortune, I should think it an honour and happiness to be one, even with borrowed money upon the best security I could give. And, first, I am confident, without any skill, but by general reason, that the charge of coining copper would be very much less than thirty per cent. Secondly, I believe ten thousand pounds, in halfpence and farthings, would be sufficient for the whole kingdom, even under our great and most unnecessary distress for the want of silver; and that, without such a distress, half the sum would suffice. For, I compute and reason thus: the city of Dublin, by a gross computation, contains ten thousand families; and I am told by shopkeepers, "That if silver were as plenty as usual, two shillings in copper would be sufficient, in the course of business, for each family." But, in consideration of the want of silver, I would allow five shillings to each family, which would amount to 2,500l.; and, to help this, I would recommend a currency of all the genuine undefaced harp-halfpence, which are left, of Lord Dartmouth's and Moor's patents under King Charles II.; and the small Patrick and David for farthings. To the rest of the kingdom, I would assign the 7,50l. remaining; reckoning Dublin to answer one-fourth of the kingdom, as London is judged to answer (if I mistake not) one-third of England; I mean in the view of money only.

To compute our want of small change by the number of souls in the kingdom, besides being perplexed, is, I think, by no means just. They have been reckoned at a million and a half; whereof a million at least are beggars in all circumstances, except that of wandering about for alms; and that circumstance may arrive soon enough, when it will be time to add another ten thousand pounds in copper. But, without doubt, the families of Ireland, who lie chiefly under the difficulties of wanting small change, cannot be above forty or fifty thousand, which the sum of ten thousand pounds, with the addition of the fairest old halfpence, would tolerably supply; for, if we give too great a loose to any projector to pour in upon us what he pleases, the kingdom will be, (how shall I express it under our present circumstances?) more than undone.

And hence appears, in a very strong light, the villainy of Wood, who proposed the coinage of one hundred and eight thousand pounds in copper, for the use of Ireland; whereby every family in the kingdom would be loaden with ten or a dozen shillings, although Wood might not transgress the bounds of his patent, and although no counterfeits, either at home or abroad, were added to the number; the contrary to both which would indubitably have arrived. So ill informed are great men on the other side, who talk of a million with as little ceremony as we do of half-a-crown!

But to return to the proposal I have made: Suppose ten gentlemen, lovers of their country, should raise 200l. a-piece; and, from the time the money is deposited as they shall agree, should begin to charge it with seven per cent. for their own use; that they should, as soon as possible, provide a mint and good workmen, and buy copper sufficient for coining two thousand pounds, subtracting a fifth part of the interest of ten thousand pounds for the charges of the tools, and fitting up a place for a mint; the other four parts of the same interest to be subtracted equally out of the four remaining coinages of 2,000l. each, with a just allowance for other necessary incidents. Let the charge of coinage be fairly reckoned, and the kingdom informed of it, as well as of the price of copper. Let the coin be as well and deeply stamped as it ought. Let the metal be as pure as can consist to have it rightly coined, (wherein I am wholly ignorant,) and the bulk as large as that of King Charles II. And let this club of ten gentlemen give their joint security to receive all the coins they issue out for seven or ten years, and return gold and silver without any defalcation.

Let the same club, or company, when they have issued out the first two thousand pounds, go on the second year, if they find a demand, and that their scheme hath answered to their own intention, as well as to the satisfaction of the public. And, if they find seven per cent. not sufficient, let them subtract eight, beyond which I would not have them go. And when they have in five years coined ten thousand pounds, let them give public notice that they will proceed no further, but shut up their mint, and dismiss their workmen; unless the real, universal, unsolicited, declaration of the nobility and gentry of the kingdom shall signify a desire that they shall go on for a certain sum farther.

This company may enter into certain regulations among themselves; one of which should be, to keep nothing concealed, and duly to give an account to the world of their whole methods of acting.

Give me leave to compute, wholly at random, what charge the kingdom will be at, by the loss of intrinsic value in the coinage of 10,000l. in copper, under the management of such a society of gentlemen.

First, It is plain that instead of somewhat more than sixteen per cent. as demanded by Mr. M'Culla, this society desires but eight per cent.

Secondly, Whereas Mr. M'Culla charges the expense of coinage at thirty per cent., I hope and believe this society will be able to perform it at ten.

Thirdly, Whereas it doth not appear that Mr. M'Culla can give any security for the goodness of his copper, because not one in ten thousand have the skill to distinguish, the society will be all engaged that theirs shall be of the best standard.

Fourthly, That whereas Mr. M'Culla's halfpence are one-fourth part lighter than that kind coined in the time of King Charles II., these gentlemen will oblige themselves to the public, to give their coin of the same weight and goodness with those halfpence, unless they shall find they cannot afford it; and, in that case, they shall beforehand inform the public, show their reasons, and signify how large they can make them without being losers; and so give over or pursue their scheme, as they find the opinion of the world to be. However, I do not doubt but they can afford them as large, and of as good metal, as the best English halfpence that have been coined in the three last reigns, which very much outweighed those of Mr. M'Culla. And this advantage will arise in proportion, by lessening the charge of coinage from thirty per cent. to ten or fifteen, or twenty at most. But I confess myself in the dark on that article; only I think it impossible it should amount to any proportion near thirty per cent.; otherwise the coiners of those counterfeit halfpence called raps[117] would have little encouragement to follow their trade.

But the indubitable advantages, by having the management in such a society, would be the paying eight per cent. instead of sixteen, the being sure of the goodness and just weight of the coin, and the period to be put to any further coinage than what was absolutely necessary to supply the wants and desires of the kingdom; and all this under the security of ten gentlemen of credit and fortune, who would be ready to give the best security and satisfaction, that they had no design to turn the scheme into a job.

As to any mistakes I have made in computation, they are of little moment; and I shall not descend so low as to justify them against any caviller.

The strongest objection against what I offer, and which perhaps may make it appear visionary, is the difficulty to find half a score gentlemen, who, out of a public spirit, will be at the trouble, for no more profit than one per cent. above the legal interest, to be overseers of a mint for five years; and perhaps, without any justice, raise the clamour of the people against them. Besides, it is most certain that many a squire is as fond of a job, and as dexterous to make the best of it, as Mr. M'Culla himself, or any of his level.

However, I do not doubt but there may be ten such persons in this town, if they had only some visible mark to know them at sight. Yet I just foresee another inconveniency; That knavish men are fitter to deal with others of their own denomination; while those who are honest and best-intentioned may be the instruments of as much mischief to the public, for want of cunning, as the greatest knaves; and more, because of the charitable opinion which they are apt to have of others. Therefore, how to join the prudence of the serpent with the innocency of the dove, in this affair, is the most difficult point. It is not so hard to find an honest man, as to make this honest man active, and vigilant, and skilful; which, I doubt, will require a spur of profit greater than my scheme will afford him, unless he will be contented with the honour of serving his country, and the reward of a good conscience.

After reviewing what I had written, I see very well that I have not given any allowance for the first charge of preparing all things necessary for coining, which, I am told, will amount to about 200l. besides 20l. per annum for five years rent of a house to work in. I can only say, that, this making in all 300l., it will be an addition of no more than three per cent. out of 10,000l.

But the great advantages to the public, by having the coinage placed in the hands of ten gentlemen such as I have already described, (if such are to be found,) are these:—

First, They propose no other gain to themselves than one per cent. above the legal interest for the money they advance; which will hardly afford them coffee when they meet at their mint-house.

Secondly, They bind themselves to make their coins of as good copper as the best English halfpence, and as well coined, and of equal weight; and do likewise bind themselves to charge the public with not one farthing for the expense of coinage, more than it shall really stand them in.

Thirdly, They will, for a limited term of seven or ten years, as shall be thought proper upon mature consideration, pay gold and silver, without any defalcation, for all their own coin that shall be returned upon their hands.

Fourthly, They will take care that the coins shall have a deep impression, leaving a rising rim on both sides, to prevent being defaced in a long time; and the edges shall be milled.

I suppose they need not be very apprehensive of counterfeits, which it will be difficult to make so as not to be discovered; for it is plain that those bad halfpence called raps are so easily distinguished, even from the most worn genuine halfpenny, that nobody will now take them for a farthing, although under the great present want of change.

I shall here subjoin some computations relating to Mr. M'Culla's copper notes. They were sent to me by a person well skilled in such calculations; and therefore I refer them to the reader.[118]

Mr. M'Culla charges good copper at fourteenpence per pound: but I know not whether he means avoirdupois or troy weight.

Avoirdupois is sixteen ounces to a pound, 6960 grains. A pound troy weight, 5760 grains. Mr. M'Culla's copper is fourteenpence per pound avoirdupois. Two of Mr. M'Culla's penny notes, one with another, weigh 524 grains. By which computation, two shillings of his notes, which he sells for one pound weight, will weigh 6288 grains. But one pound avoirdupois weighs, as above, 6960 grains. This difference makes 10 per cent. to Mr. M'Culla's profit, in point of weight. The old Patrick and David halfpenny weighs 149 grains. Mr. M'Culla's halfpenny weighs 131 grains. ——— The difference is 18

Which is equal to 10-1/2 per cent. The English halfpenny of King Charles II. weighs 167 grains. M'Culla's halfpenny weighs 131 grains. ——— The difference 36

Which difference, allowed a fifth part, is 20 per cent.

ANOTHER COMPUTATION.

Mr. M'Culla allows his pound of copper (coinage included) to be worth twentypence; for which he demands two shillings.

His coinage he computes at sixpence per pound weight; therefore, he laying out only twentypence, and gaining fourpence, he makes per cent. profit, 20 The sixpence per pound weight, allowed for coinage, makes per cent. 30 The want of weight in his halfpenny, compared as above, is per cent. 10 By all which (viz. coinage, profit, and want of weight) —the public loses per cent. 60

If Mr. M'Culla's coins will not pass, and he refuses to receive them back, the owner cannot sell them at above twelvepence per pound weight; whereby, with the defect of weight of 10 per cent., he will lose 60 per cent.

The scheme of the society, raised as high as it can possibly be, will be only thus:

For interest of their money, per cent. 8 For coinage, instead of 10, suppose at most per cent. 20 For l.300 laid out for tools, a mint, and house-rent, charge 3 per cent. upon the coinage of l.10,000, 3 —— Charges in all upon interest, coinage, &c. per cent., 31

Which, with all the advantages above-mentioned, of the goodness of the metal, the largeness of the coin, the deepness and fairness of the impression, the assurance of the society confining itself to such a sum as they undertake, or as the kingdom shall approve; and lastly, their paying in gold or silver for all their coin returned upon their hands without any defalcation, would be of mighty benefit to the kingdom; and, with a little steadiness and activity, could, I doubt not, be easily compassed.

I would not in this scheme recommend the method of promissory notes, after Mr. M'Culla's manner; but, as I have seen in old Irish coins, the words CIVITAS DVBLIN, on one side, with the year of our Lord and the Irish harp on the reverse.



A PROPOSAL

THAT

ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND

SHOULD APPEAR CONSTANTLY IN

IRISH MANUFACTURES.



NOTE.

The arguments advanced in this tract are practically repetitions of those already given in previous pieces. Swift laid much stress on the people buying and wearing goods made in Ireland, since in that way the money would remain in the country. In this little tract he winds up with a special appeal to the women of Ireland.

* * * * *

The present text is based on that of the quarto edition (vol. viii.) of 1765, and compared with Faulkner's of 1772.

[T. S.]



A PROPOSAL THAT ALL THE LADIES AND WOMEN OF IRELAND SHOULD APPEAR CONSTANTLY IN IRISH MANUFACTURES.

There was a treatise written about nine years ago, to persuade the people of Ireland to wear their own manufactures.[119] This treatise was allowed to have not one syllable in it of party or disaffection; but was wholly founded upon the growing poverty of the nation, occasioned by the utter want of trade in every branch, except that ruinous importation of all foreign extravagancies from other countries. This treatise was presented, by the grand jury of the city and county of Dublin, as a scandalous, seditious, and factious pamphlet. I forget who was the foreman of the city grand jury; but the foreman for the county was one Doctor Seal, register to the Archbishop of Dublin, wherein he differed much from the sentiments of his lord.[120] The printer[121] was tried before the late Mr. Whitshed, that famous Lord chief-justice; who, on the bench, laying his hand on his heart, declared, upon his salvation, that the author was a Jacobite, and had a design to beget a quarrel between the two nations.[122] In the midst of this prosecution, about fifteen hundred weavers were forced to beg their bread, and had a general contribution made for their relief, which just served to make them drunk for a week; and then they were forced to turn rogues, or strolling beggars, or to leave the kingdom.

The Duke of Grafton,[123] who was then Lieutenant, being perfectly ashamed of so infamous and unpopular a proceeding, obtained from England a noli prosequi for the printer. Yet the grand jury had solemn thanks given them from the Secretary of State.

I mention this passage (perhaps too much forgotten,) to shew how dangerous it hath been for the best meaning person to write one syllable in the defence of his country, or discover the miserable condition it is in.

And to prove this truth, I will produce one instance more; wholly omitting the famous case of the Drapier, and the proclamation against him, as well as the perverseness of another jury against the same Mr. Whitshed, who was violently bent to act the second part in another scene.[124]

About two years ago, there was a small paper printed, which was called, "A Short View of the State of Ireland," relating the several causes whereby any country may grow rich, and applying them to Ireland.[125] Whitshed was dead, and consequently the printer was not troubled. Mist, the famous journalist, happened to reprint this paper in London, for which his press-folks were prosecuted for almost a twelve-month; and, for aught I know, are not yet discharged.[126]

This is our case; insomuch, that although I am often without money in my pocket, I dare not own it in some company, for fear of being thought disaffected.

But, since I am determined to take care that the author of this paper shall not be discovered (following herein the most prudent practice of the Drapier,) I will venture to affirm, that the three seasons wherein our corn hath miscarried, did no more contribute to our present misery, than one spoonful of water thrown upon a rat already drowned would contribute to his death; and that the present plentiful harvest, although it should be followed by a dozen ensuing, would no more restore us, than it would the rat aforesaid to put him near the fire, which might indeed warm his fur coat, but never bring him back to life.

The short of the matter is this: The distresses of the kingdom are operating more and more every day, by very large degrees, and so have been doing for above a dozen years past.

If you demand from whence these distresses have arisen, I desire to ask the following question:

If two-thirds of any kingdom's revenue be exported to another country, without one farthing of value in return; and if the said kingdom be forbidden the most profitable branches of trade wherein to employ the other third, and only allowed to traffic in importing those commodities which are most ruinous to itself[127]; how shall that kingdom stand?

If this question were formed into the first proposition of an hypothetical syllogism, I defy the man born in Ireland, who is now in the fairest way of getting a collectorship, or a cornet's post, to give a good reason for denying it.

Let me put another case. Suppose a gentleman's estate of two hundred pounds a year should sink to one hundred, by some accident, whether by an earthquake, or inundation, it matters not: and suppose the said gentleman utterly hopeless and unqualified ever to retrieve the loss; how is he otherwise to proceed in his future economy, than by reducing it on every article to one half less, unless he will be content to fly his country, or rot in jail? This is a representation of Ireland's condition; only with one fault, that it is a little too favourable. Neither am I able to propose a full remedy for this, that shall ever be granted, but only a small prolongation of life, until God shall miraculously dispose the hearts of our neighbours, our kinsmen, our fellow-protestants, fellow-subjects, and fellow rational creatures, to permit us to starve without running further in debt. I am informed that our national debt (and God knows how we wretches came by that fashionable thing a national debt) is about two hundred and fifty thousand pounds; which is at least one-third of the whole kingdom's rents, after our absentees and other foreign drains are paid, and about fifty thousand pounds more than all the cash.

It seems there are several schemes for raising a fund to pay the interest of this formidable sum (not the principal, for this is allowed impossible). The necessity of raising such a fund, is strongly and regularly pleaded, from the late deficiencies in the duties and customs. And is it the fault of Ireland that these funds are deficient? If they depend on trade, can it possibly be otherwise, while we have neither liberty to trade, nor money to trade with; neither hands to work, nor business to employ them, if we had? Our diseases are visible enough both in their causes and effects; and the cures are well known, but impossible to be applied.

If my steward comes and tells me, that my rents are sunk so low, that they are very little more than sufficient to pay my servants their wages; have I any other course left than to cashier four in six of my rascally footmen, and a number of other varlets in my family, of whose insolence the whole neighbourhood complains? And I should think it extremely severe in any law, to force me to maintain a household of fifty servants, and fix their wages, before I had offered my rent-roll upon oath to the legislators.

To return from digressing: I am told one scheme for raising a fund to pay the interest of our national debt, is, by a further duty of forty shillings a tun upon wine. Some gentlemen would carry this matter much further, by raising it to twelve pounds; which, in a manner, would amount to a prohibition: thus weakly arguing from the practice of England.

I have often taken notice, both in print and in discourse, that there is no topic so fallacious, either in talk or in writing, as to argue how we ought to act in Ireland, from the example of England, Holland, France, or any other country, whose inhabitants are allowed the common rights and liberties of humankind. I could undertake to name six or seven of the most uncontrolled maxims in government, which are utterly false in this kingdom.

As to the additional duty on wine, I think any person may deliver his opinion upon it, until it shall have passed into a law; and till then, I declare mine to be positively against it.

First, Because there is no nation yet known, in either hemisphere, where the people of all conditions are more in want of some cordial to keep up their spirits, than in this of ours. I am not in jest; and if the fact will not be allowed me, I shall not argue it.

Secondly, It is too well and generally known, that this tax of forty shillings additional on every tun of wine, (which will be double, at least, to the home consumer) will increase equally every new session of Parliament, until, perhaps, it comes to twelve pounds.

Thirdly, Because, as the merchants inform me, and as I have known many the like instances in England, this additional tax will more probably lessen this branch of the revenue, than increase it. And therefore Sir John Stanley, a commissioner of the customs in England, used to say, that the House of Commons were generally mistaken in matters of trade, by an erroneous opinion that two and two make four. Thus, if you should lay an additional duty of one penny a pound on raisins or sugar, the revenue, instead of rising, would certainly sink; and the consequence would only be, to lessen the number of plum-puddings, and ruin the confectioner.

Fourthly, I am likewise assured by merchants, that upon this additional forty shillings, the French will at least equally raise their duties upon all commodities we export thither.

Fifthly, If an original extract of the exports and imports be true, we have been gainers, upon the balance, by our trade with France, for several years past; and, although our gain amounts to no great sum, we ought to be satisfied, since we are no losers, with the only consolation we are capable of receiving.

Lastly, The worst consequence is behind. If we raise the duty on wine to a considerable height, we lose the only hold we have of keeping among us the few gentlemen of any tolerable estates. I am confident there is hardly a gentleman of eight hundred pounds a year and upwards, in this kingdom, who would balance half an hour to consider whether he should live here or in England, if a family could be as cheaply maintained in the one as the other. As to eatables, they are as cheap in many fine counties of England, as in some very indifferent ones here; or, if there be any difference, that vein of thrift and prudence in economy, which passes there without reproach, (and chiefly in London itself,) would amply make up the difference. But the article of French wine is hardly tolerable, in any degree of plenty, to a middling fortune; and this is it, which, by growing habitual, wholly turns the scale with those few landed men, disengaged from employments, who content themselves to live hospitably with plenty of good wine in their own country, rather than in penury and obscurity in another, with bad, or with none at all.

Having, therefore, as far as in me lies, abolished this additional duty upon wine; for I am not under the least concern about paying the interest of the national debt, but leave it, as in loyalty bound, wholly to the wisdom of the honourable House of Commons; I come now to consider by what methods we may be able to put off and delay our utter undoing as long as it is possible.

I never have discoursed with any reasonable man upon this subject, who did not allow that there was no remedy left us, but to lessen the importation of all unnecessary commodities as much as it was possible; and likewise either to persuade our absentees to spend their money at home, which is impossible; or tax them at five shillings in the pound during their absence, with such allowances, upon necessary occasions, as it shall be thought convenient: or, by permitting us a free trade, which is denied to no other nation upon earth. The three last methods are treated by Mr. Prior, in his most useful treatise, added to his list of absentees.[128]

It is to gratify the vanity, and pride, and luxury of the women, and of the young fops who admire them, that we owe this insupportable grievance, of bringing in the instruments of our ruin. There is annually brought over to this kingdom near ninety thousand pounds worth of silk, whereof the greater part is manufactured. Thirty thousand pounds more is expended in muslin, holland, cambric, and calico. What the price of lace amounts to, is not easy to be collected from the custom-house book, being a kind of goods that takes up little room, and is easily run; but, considering the prodigious price of a woman's head-dress, at ten, twelve, twenty pounds a yard, must be very great. The tea, rated at seven shillings per pound, comes to near twelve thousand pounds; but, considering it as the common luxury of every chambermaid, sempstress, and tradesman's wife, both in town and country, however they come by it, must needs cost the kingdom double that sum. Coffee is somewhere above seven thousand pounds. I have seen no account of the chocolate, and some other Indian or American goods. The drapery imported is about four-and-twenty thousand pounds. The whole amounts (with one or two other particulars) to one hundred and fifty thousand pounds. The lavishing of all which money is just as prudent and necessary, as to see a man in an embroidered coat, begging out of Newgate in an old shoe.

I allow that the thrown and raw silk is less pernicious, because we have some share in the manufacture: but we are not now in circumstances to trifle. It costs us above forty thousand pounds a-year; and if the ladies, till better times, will not be content to go in their own country shifts, I wish they may go in rags.

Let them vie with each other in the fineness of their native linen: their beauty and gentleness will as well appear, as if they were covered over with diamonds and brocade.

I believe no man is so weak, as to hope or expect that such a reformation can be brought about by a law. But a thorough hearty, unanimous vote, in both houses of Parliament, might perhaps answer as well: every senator, noble or plebeian, giving his honour, that neither himself, nor any of his family, would, in their dress, or furniture of their houses, make use of anything except what was of the growth and manufacture of this kingdom; and that they would use the utmost of their power, influence, and credit, to prevail on their tenants, dependants, and friends, to follow their example.



A

MODEST PROPOSAL

FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE

FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR PARENTS

OR COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL

TO THE PUBLIC.



NOTE.

Perhaps in no literature is there to be found a piece of writing in any sense comparable to this "Modest Proposal." Written, apparently, in a light and comic vein, it might deceive the casual reader into the belief that Swift had achieved a joke. It has the air of a smiling and indifferent raconteur amusing an after-dinner table. In truth, however, this piece of writing is a terrible indictment made by an advocate speaking against the result of a tyranny of power which, through wicked stupidity or complacent indifference, had afflicted a people almost to extinction. The restraint of the writer evinced in this tract, is the more remarkable, when we remember that he was Ireland's foremost patriot, that he had been her champion for liberty and independence, and that an indignation filled him at all times, lacerating his heart, against the cruelty and oppression and wretchedness of humanity generally. Here, he sits down and writes as calmly as if composing an ordinary sermon, and proposes, in cold blood, to alleviate the poverty of the Irish people by the sale of their children as table food for the rich. He even goes into calculations as to cost of breeding, and shows how a mother might earn eight shillings a year on each child, by disposing of its carcass for ten shillings. Of the million and a half people who inhabit the country, he assumes that there are 200,000 who beget children; of these about 30,000 are able to provide for their offspring, but the balance of 170,000 must inevitably become a burden. What is to become of them? Many schemes have been proposed to meet their case, but not one of them has answered. Trade and agriculture gave them no opportunity, since the trade of the country was almost at a standstill, and land was now either too dear to keep or too poor to cultivate. At the time of Swift's writing Ireland had passed through three frightful years of famine. Corn had become so dear that riots occurred at the ports where what corn remained was being exported. The land, as Swift wrote to Pope (August 11th, 1729) was in every place strewn with beggars. The poor labourer, had work been found for him, was too weak in body to undertake it. Thousands had already died of starvation and the diseases consequent on hunger. Those that managed to exist did so in filth, and dying every day, as Swift wrote on another occasion, "and rotting, by cold and famine, and filth and vermin."

No, there was only one way out of the difficulty, and that was to have these poor people breed children, which they could profitably dispose of for food. Let them fatten their offspring as best they could and sell them dead or alive for cooking. The irony of the proposition may sound appalling to us in this century, but Swift was not exaggerating the distress of his day. Even Primate Boulter, who was certainly the last man to overstate an Irish case, sent such reports as gave the English Government anxiety. To Swift it was no time for polite speeches and calm proposals. He had already given them in abundance. Now was the time for something merry and with laughter:

"I may storm and rage in vain; It but stupifies your brain. But with raillery to nettle, Set your thoughts upon their mettle."

It was in this spirit that the "Modest Proposal" was written. Swift concludes with a final touch by telling us that he has nothing to gain personally by his suggestion, since his "youngest child is nine and his wife past child-bearing."

* * * * *

The text of the present edition is that of the original issue collated with that given by Faulkner.

[T. S.]



A MODEST

PROPOSAL

For preventing the

CHILDREN

OF

POOR PEOPLE

From being a Burthen to

Their Parents or Country,

AND

For making them Beneficial to the

PUBLICK.

* * * * *

By Dr. Swift.

* * * * *

Dublin, Printed by S. Harding:

London, Reprinted; and sold by J. Roberts in Warwick-lane, and the Pamphlet-Shops.

M.DCC.XXIX.



A MODEST PROPOSAL

FOR PREVENTING THE CHILDREN OF POOR PEOPLE FROM BEING A BURTHEN TO THEIR PARENTS OR COUNTRY, AND FOR MAKING THEM BENEFICIAL TO THE PUBLIC.

It is a melancholy object to those, who walk through this great town, or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin-doors, crowded with beggars of the female sex, followed by three, four, or six children, all in rags, and importuning every passenger for an alms. These mothers instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in strolling, to beg sustenance for their helpless infants, who, as they grow up, either turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear Native Country to fight for the Pretender in Spain,[129] or sell themselves to the Barbadoes.

I think it is agreed by all parties, that this prodigious number of children, in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom, a very great additional grievance; and therefore whoever could find out a fair, cheap and easy method of making these children sound useful members of the commonwealth would deserve so well of the public, as to have his statue set up for a preserver of the nation.

But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the children of professed beggars, it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain age, who are born of parents in effect as little able to support them, as those who demand our charity in the streets.

As to my own part, having turned my thoughts, for many years, upon this important subject, and maturely weighed the several schemes of other projectors, I have always found them grossly mistaken in their computation. It is true a child, just dropped from its dam, may be supported by her milk for a solar year with little other nourishment, at most not above the value of two shillings, which the mother may certainly get, or the value in scraps, by her lawful occupation of begging, and it is exactly at one year old that I propose to provide for them, in such a manner, as, instead of being a charge upon their parents, or the parish, or wanting food and raiment for the rest of their lives, they shall, on the contrary, contribute to the feeding and partly to the clothing of many thousands.

There as likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will prevent those voluntary abortions, and that horrid practice of women murdering their bastard children, alas, too frequent among us, sacrificing the poor innocent babes, I doubt, more to avoid the expense, than the shame, which would move tears and pity in the most savage and inhuman breast.

The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and a half,[130] of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand couple whose wives are breeders, from which number I subtract thirty thousand couples, who are able to maintain their own children, although I apprehend there cannot be so many under the present distresses of the kingdom, but this being granted, there will remain an hundred and seventy thousand breeders. I again subtract fifty thousand for those women who miscarry, or whose children die by accident, or disease within the year. There only remain an hundred and twenty thousand children of poor parents annually born: The question therefore is, how this number shall be reared, and provided for, which, as I have already said, under the present situation of affairs, is utterly impossible by all the methods hitherto proposed, for we can neither employ them in handicraft, or agriculture; we neither build houses, (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land: they can very seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing till they arrive at six years old, except where they are of towardly parts, although, I confess they learn the rudiments much earlier, during which time, they can however be properly looked upon only as probationers, as I have been informed by a principal gentleman in the County of Cavan, who protested to me, that he never knew above one or two instances under the age of six, even in a part of the kingdom so renowned for the quickest proficiency in that art.

I am assured by our merchants, that a boy or a girl, before twelve years old, is no saleable commodity, and even when they come to this age, they will not yield above three pounds, or three pounds and half-a-crown at most on the Exchange, which cannot turn to account either to the parents or the kingdom, the charge of nutriment and rags having been at least four times that value.

I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London,[131] that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled, and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout.

I do therefore humbly offer it to public consideration, that of the hundred and twenty thousand children, already computed, twenty thousand may be reserved for breed, whereof only one fourth part to be males, which is more than we allow to sheep, black-cattle, or swine, and my reason is that these children are seldom the fruits of marriage, a circumstance not much regarded by our savages, therefore one male will be sufficient to serve four females. That the remaining hundred thousand may at a year old be offered in sale to the persons of quality, and fortune, through the kingdom, always advising the mother to let them suck plentifully in the last month, so as to render them plump, and fat for a good table. A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends, and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.

I have reckoned upon a medium, that a child just born will weigh 12 pounds, and in a solar year if tolerably nursed increaseth to 28 pounds.

I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children.

Infants' flesh will be in season throughout the year, but more plentiful in March, and a little before and after, for we are told by a grave author an eminent French physician, that fish being a prolific diet, there are more children born in Roman Catholic countries about nine months after Lent, than at any other season; therefore reckoning a year after Lent, the markets will be more glutted than usual, because the number of Popish infants, is at least three to one in this kingdom, and therefore it will have one other collateral advantage by lessening the number of Papists among us.

I have already computed the charge of nursing a beggar's child (in which list I reckon all cottagers, labourers, and four-fifths of the farmers) to be about two shillings per annum, rags included, and I believe no gentleman would repine to give ten shillings for the carcass of a good fat child, which, as I have said will make four dishes of excellent nutritive meat, when he hath only some particular friend, or his own family to dine with him. Thus the Squire will learn to be a good landlord, and grow popular among his tenants, the mother will have eight shillings net profit, and be fit for work till she produces another child.

Those who are more thrifty (as I must confess the times require) may flay the carcass; the skin of which, artificially dressed, will make admirable gloves for ladies, and summer boots for fine gentlemen.

As to our City of Dublin, shambles may be appointed for this purpose, in the most convenient parts of it, and butchers we may be assured will not be wanting, although I rather recommend buying the children alive, and dressing them hot from the knife, as we do roasting pigs.

A very worthy person, a true lover of his country, and whose virtues I highly esteem, was lately pleased, in discoursing on this matter, to offer a refinement upon my scheme. He said, that many gentlemen of this kingdom, having of late destroyed their deer, he conceived that the want of venison might be well supplied by the bodies of young lads and maidens, not exceeding fourteen years of age, nor under twelve, so great a number of both sexes in every country being now ready to starve, for want of work and service: and these to be disposed of by their parents if alive, or otherwise by their nearest relations. But with due deference to so excellent a friend, and so deserving a patriot, I cannot be altogether in his sentiments; for as to the males, my American acquaintance assured me from frequent experience, that their flesh was generally tough and lean, like that of our schoolboys, by continual exercise, and their taste disagreeable, and to fatten them would not answer the charge. Then as to the females, it would, I think with humble submission, be a loss to the public, because they soon would become breeders themselves: And besides, it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice, (although indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty, which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any project, however so well intended.

But in order to justify my friend, he confessed that this expedient was put into his head by the famous Psalmanazar,[132] a native of the island Formosa, who came from thence to London, above twenty years ago, and in conversation told my friend, that in his country when any young person happened to be put to death, the executioner sold the carcass to persons of quality, as a prime dainty, and that, in his time, the body of a plump girl of fifteen, who was crucified for an attempt to poison the emperor, was sold to his Imperial Majesty's Prime Minister of State, and other great Mandarins of the Court, in joints from the gibbet, at four hundred crowns. Neither indeed can I deny, that if the same use were made of several plump young girls in this town, who, without one single groat to their fortunes, cannot stir abroad without a chair, and appear at the playhouse, and assemblies in foreign fineries, which they never will pay for, the kingdom would not be the worse.

Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast number of poor people, who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and I have been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken, to ease the nation of so grievous an encumbrance. But I am not in the least pain upon that matter, because it is very well known, that they are every day dying, and rotting, by cold, and famine, and filth, and vermin, as fast as can be reasonably expected. And as to the younger labourers they are now in almost as hopeful a condition. They cannot get work, and consequently pine away for want of nourishment, to a degree, that if at any time they are accidentally hired to common labour, they have not strength to perform it; and thus the country and themselves are happily delivered from the evils to come.

I have too long digressed, and therefore shall return to my subject. I think the advantages by the proposal which I have made are obvious and many, as well as of the highest importance.

For first, as I have already observed, it would greatly lessen the number of Papists, with whom we are yearly over-run, being the principal breeders of the nation, as well as our most dangerous enemies, and who stay at home on purpose with a design to deliver the kingdom to the Pretender, hoping to take their advantage by the absence of so many good Protestants, who have chosen rather to leave their country, than stay at home, and pay tithes against their conscience, to an Episcopal curate.[133]

Secondly, The poorer tenants will have something valuable of their own, which by law may be made liable to distress, and help to pay their landlord's rent, their corn and cattle being already seized, and money a thing unknown.

Thirdly, Whereas the maintenance of an hundred thousand children, from two years old, and upwards, cannot be computed at less than ten shillings a piece per annum, the nation's stock will be thereby increased fifty thousand pounds per annum, besides the profit of a new dish, introduced to the tables of all gentlemen of fortune in the kingdom, who have any refinement in taste, and the money will circulate among ourselves, the goods being entirely of our own growth and manufacture.

Fourthly, The constant breeders, besides the gain of eight shillings sterling per annum, by the sale of their children, will be rid of the charge of maintaining them after the first year.

Fifthly, This food would likewise bring great custom to taverns, where the vintners will certainly be so prudent as to procure the best receipts for dressing it to perfection, and consequently have their houses frequented by all the fine gentlemen, who justly value themselves upon their knowledge in good eating; and a skilful cook, who understands how to oblige his guests will contrive to make it as expensive as they please.

Sixthly, This would be a great inducement to marriage, which all wise nations have either encouraged by rewards, or enforced by laws and penalties. It would increase the care and tenderness of mothers toward their children, when they were sure of a settlement for life, to the poor babes, provided in some sort by the public to their annual profit instead of expense. We should see an honest emulation among the married women, which of them could bring the fattest child to the market, men would become as fond of their wives, during the time of their pregnancy, as they are now of their mares in foal, their cows in calf, or sows when they are ready to farrow, nor offer to beat or kick them (as it is too frequent a practice) for fear of a miscarriage.

Many other advantages might be enumerated: For instance, the addition of some thousand carcasses in our exportation of barrelled beef; the propagation of swine's flesh, and improvement in the art of making good bacon, so much wanted among us by the great destruction of pigs, too frequent at our tables, which are no way comparable in taste, or magnificence to a well-grown, fat yearling child, which roasted whole will make a considerable figure at a Lord Mayor's feast, or any other public entertainment. But this, and many others I omit being studious of brevity.

Supposing that one thousand families in this city, would be constant customers for infants' flesh, besides others who might have it at merry-meetings, particularly weddings and christenings, I compute that Dublin would take off annually about twenty thousand carcasses, and the rest of the kingdom (where probably they will be sold somewhat cheaper) the remaining eighty thousand.

I can think of no one objection, that will possibly be raised against this proposal, unless it should be urged that the number of people will be thereby much lessened in the kingdom. This I freely own, and was indeed one principal design in offering it to the world. I desire the reader will observe, that I calculate my remedy for this one individual Kingdom of Ireland, and for no other that ever was, is, or, I think, ever can be upon earth. Therefore let no man talk to me of other expedients: Of taxing our absentees at five shillings a pound: Of using neither clothes, nor household furniture, except what is of our own growth and manufacture: Of utterly rejecting the materials and instruments that promote foreign luxury: Of curing the expensiveness of pride, vanity, idleness, and gaming in our women: Of introducing a vein of parsimony, prudence and temperance: Of learning to love our Country, wherein we differ even from LAPLANDERS, and the inhabitants of TOPINAMBOO:[134] Of quitting our animosities and factions, nor act any longer like the Jews, who were murdering one another at the very moment their city was taken: Of being a little cautious not to sell our country and consciences for nothing:[135] Of teaching landlords to have at least one degree of mercy toward their tenants. Lastly of putting a spirit of honesty, industry and skill into our shopkeepers, who, if a resolution could now be taken to buy only our native goods, would immediately unite to cheat and exact upon us in the price, the measure, and the goodness, nor could ever yet be brought to make one fair proposal of just dealing, though often and earnestly invited to it.[136]

Therefore I repeat, let no man talk to me of these and the like expedients, till he hath at least some glimpse of hope, that there will ever be some hearty and sincere attempt to put them in practice.

But as to myself, having been wearied out for many years with offering vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which as it is wholly new, so it hath something solid and real, of no expense and little trouble, full in our own power, and whereby we can incur no danger in disobliging ENGLAND. For this kind of commodity will not bear exportation,[137] the flesh being of too tender a consistence, to admit a long continuance in salt, although perhaps I could name a country, which would be glad to eat up our whole nation without it.

After all I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion, as to reject any offer, proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy and effectual. But before something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction to my scheme, and offering a better, I desire the author, or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points. First, as things now stand, how they will be able to find food and raiment for an hundred thousand useless mouths and backs. And secondly, there being a round million of creatures in human figure, throughout this kingdom, whose whole subsistence put into a common stock, would leave them in debt two millions of pounds sterling adding those, who are beggars by profession, to the bulk of farmers, cottagers and labourers with their wives and children, who are beggars in effect. I desire those politicians, who dislike my overture, and may perhaps be so bold to attempt an answer, that they will first ask the parents of these mortals, whether they would not at this day think it a great happiness to have been sold for food at a year old, in the manner I prescribe, and thereby have avoided such a perpetual scene of misfortunes, as they have since gone through, by the oppression of landlords, the impossibility of paying rent without money or trade, the want of common sustenance, with neither house nor clothes to cover them from the inclemencies of the weather, and the most inevitable prospect of entailing the like, or greater miseries upon their breed for ever.

I profess in the sincerity of my heart that I have not the least personal interest in endeavouring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country, by advancing our trade, providing for infants, relieving the poor, and giving some pleasure to the rich. I have no children, by which I can propose to get a single penny; the youngest being nine years old, and my wife past child-bearing.



ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN.



NOTE.

This "Answer" forms an excellent continuation of the "Modest Proposal." It is in an entirely different vein, but is, in its own way, an admirable example of Swift's strength in handling a public question. The English government had been offering every facility to French officers for recruiting their army from Ireland. The "Craftsman" made some strong remarks on this, and Primate Boulter, in his letter to the Duke of Newcastle, under date October 14th, 1730, told his Grace, "that after consulting with the Lords Justices on the subject he found that they apprehend there will be greater difficulties in this affair than at first offered." He enters into the difficulties to be overcome in order to act in consonance with the wishes of his Majesty, and promises that "effectual care shall be taken that none of the officers who are come hither, suffer on this account" (Letter, pp. 26-27, vol. ii., Dublin, edit. 1770). Swift uses the matter for his own purposes and ironically welcomes this chance for the depopulation of Ireland. "When our island is a desert, we will send all our raw material to England, and receive from her all our manufactured articles. A leather coinage will be all we want, separated, as we shall then be, from all human kind. We shall have lost all; but we may be left in peace, and we shall have no more to tempt the plunderer." Scott styles this "Answer" a masterpiece.

* * * * *

The text of this edition is based on that given by Faulkner in the ninth volume of his edition of Swift issued in 1772.

[T. S.]



ANSWER TO THE CRAFTSMAN.[138]

SIR,

I detest reading your papers, because I am not of your principles, and because I cannot endure to be convinced. Yet I was prevailed on to peruse your Craftsman of December the 12th, wherein I discover you to be as great an enemy of this country, as you are of your own. You are pleased to reflect on a project I proposed, of making the children of Irish parents to be useful to the public instead of being burdensome;[139] and you venture to assert, that your own scheme is more charitable, of not permitting our Popish natives to be listed in the service of any foreign prince.

Perhaps, sir, you may not have heard of any kingdom so unhappy as this, both in their imports and exports. We import a sort of goods, of no intrinsic value, which costeth us above forty thousand pounds a year to dress, and scour, and polish them, which altogether do not yield one penny advantage;[140] and we annually export above seven hundred thousand pounds a year in another kind of goods, for which we receive not one single farthing in return; even the money paid for the letters sent in transacting this commerce being all returned to England. But now, when there is a most lucky opportunity offered to begin a trade, whereby this nation will save many thousand pounds a year, and England be a prodigious gainer, you are pleased, without a call, officiously and maliciously to interpose with very frivolous arguments.

It is well known, that about sixty years ago the exportation of live cattle from hence to England was a great benefit to both kingdoms, until that branch of traffic was stopped by an act of Parliament on your side, whereof you have had sufficient reason to repent.[141] Upon which account, when another act passed your Parliament, forbidding the exportation of live men to any foreign country, you were so wise to put in a clause, allowing it to be done by his Majesty's permission, under his sign manual,[142] for which, among other great benefits granted to Ireland, we are infinitely obliged to the British legislature. Yet this very grace and favour you, Mr. D'Anvers, whom we never disobliged, are endeavouring to prevent; which, I will take upon me to say, is a manifest mark of your disaffection to his Majesty, a want of duty to the ministry, and a wicked design of oppressing this kingdom, and a traitorous attempt to lessen the trade and manufacture of England.

Our truest and best ally, the Most Christian King,[143] hath obtained his Majesty's licence, pursuant to law, to export from hence some thousand bodies of healthy, young, living men, to supply his Irish regiments. The King of Spain, as you assert yourself, hath desired the same civility, and seemeth to have at least as good a claim. Supposing then that these two potentates will only desire leave to carry off six thousand men between them to France and Spain; then, by computing the maintenance of a tall, hungry Irishman, in food and clothes, to be only at five pounds a head, here will be thirty thousand pounds per annum saved clear to the nation; for they can find no other employment at home, beside begging, robbing, or stealing. But, if thirty, forty, or fifty thousand (which we could gladly spare) were sent on the same errand, what an immense benefit must it be to us! And if the two princes, in whose service they were, should happen to be at war with each other, how soon would those recruits be destroyed! Then what a number of friends would the Pretender lose, and what a number of Popish enemies all true Protestants get rid of! Add to this, that then, by such a practice, the lands of Ireland, that want hands for tillage, must be employed in grazing, which would sink the price of wool, raw hides, butter, and tallow, so that the English might have them at their own rates, and in return send us wheat to make our bread, barley to brew our drink, and oats for our houses, without any labour of our own.

Upon this occasion, I desire humbly to offer a scheme, which, in my opinion, would best answer the true interests of both kingdoms: For although I bear a most tender filial affection to England, my dear native country, yet I cannot deny but this noble island hath a great share in my love and esteem; nor can I express how much I desire to see it flourish in trade and opulence, even beyond its present happy condition.

The profitable land of this kingdom is, I think, usually computed at seventeen millions of acres, all which I propose to be wholly turned to grazing. Now, it is found by experience, that one grazier and his family can manage two thousand acres. Thus sixteen millions eight hundred thousand acres may be managed by eight thousand four hundred families; and the fraction of two hundred thousand acres will be more than sufficient for cabins, out-houses, and potatoe-gardens; because it is to be understood that corn of all sorts must be sent to us from England.

These eight thousand four hundred families may be divided among the four provinces, according to the number of houses in each province; and making the equal allowance of eight to a family, the number of inhabitants will amount to sixty-seven thousand two hundred souls. To these we are to add a standing army of twenty thousand English; which, together with their trulls, their bastards, and their horse-boys, will, by a gross computation, very near double the count, and be very sufficient for the defence and grazing of the kingdom, as well as to enrich our neighbours, expel popery, and keep out the Pretender. And, lest the army should be at a loss for business, I think it would be very prudent to employ them in collecting the public taxes for paying themselves and the civil list.

I advise, that all the owners of these lands should live constantly in England, in order to learn politeness, and qualify themselves for employments; but, for fear of increasing the natives in this island, that an annual draught, according to the number born every year, be exported to whatever prince will bear the carriage, or transplanted to the English dominions on the American continent, as a screen between his Majesty's English subjects and the savage Indians.

I advise likewise, that no commodity whatsoever, of this nation's growth, should be sent to any other country except England, under the penalty of high treason; and that all the said commodities shall be sent in their natural state; the hides raw, the wool uncombed, the flax in the stub; excepting only fish, butter, tallow, and whatever else will be spoiled in the carriage. On the contrary, that no goods whatsoever shall be exported hither, except from England, under the same penalty: that England should be forced, at their own rates, to send us over clothes ready made, as well as shirts and smocks to the soldiers and their trulls; all iron, wooden, and earthen ware, and whatever furniture may be necessary for the cabins of graziers; with a sufficient quantity of gin, and other spirits, for those who, can afford to be drunk on holidays.

As to the civil and ecclesiastical administration, which I have not yet fully considered, I can say little; only, with regard to the latter, it is plain, that the article of paying tithe for supporting speculative opinions in religion, which is so insupportable a burden to all true Protestants, and to most churchmen, will be very much lessened by this expedient; because dry cattle pay nothing to the spiritual hireling, any more than imported corn; so that the industrious shepherd and cowherd may sit every man under his own blackberry-bush, and on his own potato-bed, whereby this happy island will become a new Arcadia.

I do likewise propose, that no money shall be used in Ireland except what is made of leather, which likewise shall be coined in England, and imported; and that the taxes shall be levied out of the commodities we export to England, and there turned into money for his Majesty's use; and the rents to landlords discharged in the same manner. This will be no manner of grievance, for we already see it very practicable to live without money, and shall be more convinced of it every day. But whether paper shall still continue to supply that defect, or whether we shall hang up all those who profess the trade of bankers, (which latter I am rather inclined to,) must be left to the consideration of wiser politicians.

That which maketh me more zealously bent upon this scheme, is my desire of living in amity with our neighbouring brethren; for we have already tried all other means without effect, to that blessed end: and, by the course of measures taken for some years past, it should seem that we are all agreed in the point.

This expedient will be of great advantage to both kingdoms, upon several accounts: for, as to England, they have a just claim to the balance of trade on their side with the whole world: and therefore our ancestors and we, who conquered this kingdom for them, ought, in duty and gratitude, to let them have the whole benefit of that conquest to themselves; especially when the conquest was amicably made without bloodshed, by a stipulation between the Irish princes and Henry II.; by which they paid him, indeed, not equal homage with what the electors of Germany do to the emperor, but very near the same that he did to the King of France for his French dominions.

In consequence of this claim from England, that kingdom may very reasonably demand the benefit of all our commodities in their natural growth, to be manufactured by their people, and a sufficient quantity of them for our use to be returned hither fully manufactured.

This, on the other side, will be of great benefit to our inhabitants the graziers; when time and labour will be too much taken up in manuring their ground, feeding their cattle, shearing their sheep, and sending over their oxen fit for slaughter; to which employments they are turned by nature, as descended from the Scythians, whose diet they are still so fond of. So Virgil describeth it:—

Et lac concretum cum sanguine bibit equino;

Which, in English, is bonnyclabber[144] mingled with the blood of horses, as they formerly did, until about the beginning of the last century luxury, under the form of politeness, began to creep in, they changed the blood of horses for that of their black cattle, and, by consequence, became less warlike than their ancestors.

Although I proposed that the army should be collectors of the public revenues, yet I did not thereby intend that those taxes should be paid in gold or silver; but in kind, as all other rent: For, the custom of tenants making their payments in money, is a new thing in the world, little known in former ages, nor generally practised in any nation at present, except this island and the southern parts of Britain. But, to my great satisfaction, I foresee better times; the ancient manner beginneth to be now practised in many parts of Connaught, as well as in the county of Cork; where the squires turn tenants to themselves, divide so many cattle to their slaves, who are to provide such a quantity of butter, hides, or tallow, still keeping up their number of cattle; and carry the goods to Cork, or other port towns, and then sell them to the merchants. By which invention there is no such thing as a ruined farmer to be seen; but the people live with comfort on potatoes and bonnyclabber, neither of which are vendible commodities abroad.



A

VINDICATION

OF

HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET.



NOTE.

JOHN CARTERET, EARL GRANVILLE, succeeded to the Carteret barony at the early age of five years. He was the son of George, the first Baron Carteret, and was born in 1690. He was educated at Westminster School and Christ Church, Oxford, from which latter place, as Swift puts it, "he carried away more Greek, Latin, and philosophy than properly became a person of his rank." In the House of Lords Carteret was known as a strong adherent of the Protestant succession, and joined the Sunderland party on the split of the Whigs in 1717. As ambassador extraordinary to the Court of Sweden he was eminently successful, being the instrument by which, in 1720, peace was established between Sweden, Prussia, and Hanover. Later, he served in a similar capacity with Earl Stanhope and Sir Robert Sutton at the Congress of Cambray.

In 1721 he was appointed Secretary of State of the southern province, but although a member of the Walpole administration, he intrigued with the King against Walpole, and attempted to form a party in opposition to that minister. He ingratiated himself in the King's favour by means of his knowledge of the German language (for George knew no English), and obtained the support of Carleton, Roxburghe, Cadogan, and the Countess of Darlington. Walpole, however, was too strong for him. He managed to get Carteret to Ireland as Lord Lieutenant, and the Duke of Newcastle took up the office held by him in England. The condition of Ireland at this time was such as to cause grave anxiety to the English government. Carteret was sent ostensibly to a post of great importance, though, in reality, to be out of Walpole's way. For an account of Carteret's government during the agitation against Wood's halfpence, the reader is referred to the sixth volume of the present edition.

During the King's absence from England in 1723, Carteret had been one of the lords justices of the country, and in 1725, when George was again away, he was again appointed to this office. George, however, died on his way to Hanover; but, on the accession of George II., Carteret continued to hold high office. He was re-appointed to the Irish Lord Lieutenancy in 1727, and it was during this second term that he was criticised for the conduct Swift vindicates in the following tract.

The Dean had a great admiration both for the scholarship and temper of Carteret. The admiration was mutual, for Carteret often consulted with Swift on important matters, and, though he dared not appoint the Drapier to any position of importance, he took occasion to assist the Drapier's friends. At the time of the proclamation against the Drapier's fourth letter, the Dean, writes Scott, "visited the Castle, and having waited for some time without seeing the Lord Lieutenant, wrote upon one of the windows of the chamber of audience these lines:

'My very good lord, 'tis a very hard task, For a man to wait here, who has nothing to ask.'

Under which Carteret wrote the following happy reply:

'My very good Dean, there are few who come here, But have something to ask, or something to fear.'"

To Carteret's politic government of Ireland was mainly due the peaceful condition which prevailed amidst all the agitation roused by bad management and wretchedness. In a letter to Swift, written many years later (March, 1737), Carteret writes: "The people ask me how I governed Ireland, I say that I pleased Dr. Swift." And Swift confessed (in a letter to Gay, November 19th, 1730) that Carteret "had a genteeler manner of binding the chains of the kingdom than most of his predecessors." It was to Carteret that Swift made his well-known remark, on an occasion of a visit, "What, in God's name, do you do here? Get back to your own country, and send us our boobies again."

Swift was well aware that Carteret had not the power to make the changes in Ireland necessary for its well-being. Such changes could come only from the government in England, and as this was implacable, Carteret was but an instrument in its hands. Swift was therefore compelled to rest content with obtaining what favours he could for those friends of his who he knew deserved advancement, and he allowed no occasion to slip by without soliciting in their behalf.

Richard Tighe (who had managed to injure Sheridan in his chaplaincy), with a number of the more violent members of the Whigs in Ireland, took up Carteret's conduct, attempted, by means of their interpretation of the Lord Lieutenant's promotions, to injure him with the government, and accused him of advancing individuals who were enemies of the government. Swift took up the charge in his usual ironical manner, and wrote the Vindication which follows.

Carteret, it may be added here, was dismissed from his office in 1730, and joined Pulteney in a bitter struggle against Walpole, which culminated in his famous resolution, presented to the House of Lords, desiring that the King should remove Walpole from his presence and counsels for ever. Carteret failed, but Walpole was compelled to resign in 1742. The rest of Carteret's career bears no relation to Irish affairs.

* * * * *

The present text is founded on that of the original London edition printed in 1730, collated with the Dublin edition of the same date. They differ in many minor details from that given by Scott in 1824.

[T. S.]



A

VINDICATION

OF HIS

EXCELLENCY

THE

Lord C——T,

FROM THE

CHARGE

Of favouring none but

TORIES, HIGH-CHURCHMEN and

JACOBITES.

* * * * *

By the Reverend Dr, S——T.

* * * * *

LONDON:

Printed for T. WARNER at the Black-Boy in Pater-Noster-Row. MDCCXXX.

(Price 6d.)



A VINDICATION OF HIS EXCELLENCY JOHN, LORD CARTERET.

In order to treat this important subject with the greatest fairness and impartiality, perhaps it may be convenient to give some account of his Excellency in whose life and character there are certain particulars, which might give a very just suspicion of some truth in the accusation he lies under.

He is descended from two noble, ancient, and most loyal families, the Carterets and the Granvilles. Too much distinguish'd, I confess, for what they acted, and what they suffer'd in defending the former Constitution in Church and State, under King Charles the Martyr; I mean that very Prince, on account of whose martyrdom "a Form of Prayer, with Fasting," was enjoined, by Act of Parliament, "to be used on the 30th day of January every year, to implore the mercies of God, that the guilt of that sacred and innocent blood, might not be visited on us or our posterity," as we may read at large in our Common Prayer Books. Which day hath been solemnly kept, even within the memory of many men now alive.

His Excellency, the present Lord, was educated in the University of Oxford,[145] from whence, with a singularity scarce to be justified, he carried away more Greek, Latin, and philosophy, than properly became a person of his rank, indeed much more of each than most of those who are forced to live by their learning, will be at the unnecessary pains to load their heads with.

This was the rock he split on, upon his first appearance in the world, and just got clear of his guardians. For, as soon as he came to town, some bishops, and clergymen, and other persons most eminent for learning and parts, got him among them, from whom though he were fortunately dragged by a lady and the Court, yet he could never wipe off the stain, nor wash out the tincture of his University acquirements and dispositions.

To this another misfortune was added; that it pleased God to endow him with great natural talents, memory, judgment, comprehension, eloquence, and wit. And, to finish the work, all these were fortified even in his youth, with the advantages received by such employments as are best fitted both to exercise and polish the gifts of nature and education; having been Ambassador in several Courts when his age would hardly allow him to take a degree, and made principal Secretary of State, at a period when, according to custom, he ought to have been busied in losing his money at a chocolate-house, or in other amusements equally laudable and epidemic among persons of honour.

I cannot omit another weak side in his Excellency, for it is known, and can be proved upon him, that Greek and Latin books might be found every day in his dressing-room, if it were carefully searched; and there is reason to suspect, that some of the said books have been privately conveyed to him by Tory hands. I am likewise assured, that he hath been taken in the very fact of reading the said books, even in the midst of a session, to the great neglect of public affairs.[146]

I own there may be some grounds for this charge, because I have it from good hands, that when his Excellency is at dinner with one or two scholars at his elbows, he grows a most unsupportable, and unintelligible companion to all the fine gentlemen round the table.

I cannot deny that his Excellency lies under another great disadvantage. For, with all the accomplishments above-mentioned, adding that of a most comely and graceful person, and during the prime of youth, spirits, and vigor, he hath in a most unexemplary manner led a regular domestic life, discovers a great esteem, and friendship, and love for his lady, as well as a true affection for his children; and when he is disposed to admit an entertaining evening companion, he doth not always enough reflect whether the person may possibly in former days have lain under the imputation of a Tory; nor at such times do the natural or affected fears of Popery and the Pretender make any part of the conversation; I presume, because neither Homer, Plato, Aristotle, nor Cicero have made any mention of them.

These I freely acknowledge to be his Excellency's failings: Yet I think it is agreed by philosophers and divines, that some allowance ought to be given to human infirmity, and the prejudices of a wrong education.

I am well aware how much my sentiments differ from the orthodox opinion of one or two principal patriots, (at the head of whom I name with honour Pistorides.[147]) For these have decided the matter directly against me, by declaring that no person who was ever known to lie under the suspicion of one single Tory principle, or who had been once seen at a great man's levee in the worst of times,[148] should be allowed to come within the verge of the Castle; much less to bow in the antechamber, appear at the assemblies, or dance at a birth-night. However, I dare assert, that this maxim hath been often controlled, and that on the contrary a considerable number of early penitents have been received into grace, who are now an ornament, happiness, and support to the nation.

Neither do I find any murmuring on some other points of greater importance, where this favourite maxim is not so strictly observed.

To instance only in one. I have not heard that any care hath hitherto been taken to discover whether Madam Violante[149] be a Whig or Tory in her principles, or even that she hath ever been offered the oaths to the Government; on the contrary I am told that she openly professes herself to be a high-flyer, and it is not improbable, by her outlandish name she may also be a Papist in her heart; yet we see this illustrious and dangerous female openly caressed by principal persons of both parties, who contribute to support her in a splendid manner, without the least apprehensions from a grand jury, or even from Squire Hartley Hutcheson himself, that zealous prosecutor of hawkers and libels.[150] And as Hobbes wisely observes, so much money being equivalent to so much power, it may deserve considering with what safety such an instrument of power ought to be trusted in the hands of an alien, who hath not given any legal security for her good affection to the government.

I confess, there is one evil which I could wish our friends would think proper to redress. There are many Whigs in this Kingdom of the old-fashioned stamp, of whom we might make very good use; They bear the same loyalty with us, to the Hanoverian family, in the person of King George II.; the same abhorrence of the Pretender, with the consequent of Popery and slavery; and the same indulgence to tender consciences; but having nothing to ask for themselves, and consequently the more leisure to think for the public, they are often apt to entertain fears, and melancholy prospects concerning the state of their country, the decay of trade, the want of money, the miserable condition of the people, with other topics of like nature, all which do equally concern both Whig and Tory, who if they have anything to lose must be equally sufferers. Perhaps one or two of these melancholy gentlemen will sometimes venture to publish their thoughts in print: Now I can by no means approve our usual custom of cursing and railing at this species of thinkers under the names of Tories, Jacobites, Papists, libellers, rebels, and the like.

This was the utter ruin of that poor, angry, bustling, well-meaning mortal Pistorides, who lies equally under the contempt of both parties, with no other difference than a mixture of pity on one side, and of aversion on the other.