If we say that we apprehend God by that which is not Mind, what reason have we for saying that it is not Reason which receives Him? Because for this living which God's touch causes us to share with Himself we find that Space, Infinity, and Eternity are required and Reason stands, and remains, uncomprehending and dumbfounded before all three. It is Spirit, the flash-point of the soul, which receives and transmits and which lives this living. As we have an heredity of flesh so we have also an heredity of Spirit which of its own nature comprehends the ways of God and the mode of God's living. In High Contemplation we find that if Reason attempts activity, nothing is consummated: she must submerge herself and wait: soon Reason discovers the wherefore of this—her activity is not the activity of That Other. Only by that which is like in activity can That Other be received: this "like" is not herself: finally she comes to know this "like" as a higher part of the soul—Spirit. When Spirit has received and given it to the soul, then it is afterwards the part of Reason to attack from every side that which has been received, to digest it, absorb it, and share it, in fact though not in act. According to the health and strength of Reason so we shall successfully deal with and use that with which the Spirit presents us. By comparison with the magnificent Spirit-Activity or Spirit-Intelligence the Reason is limited and frail as a new-born babe: this is no humiliation to Reason, since she should not be expected to accomplish that which is not her part.

Why do not all men apprehend God? It is very questionable if all men desire to do so, because in the recesses of each man's soul lies the consciousness that there will be some great price to pay.

But beyond this there arises the question, Is it desirable, price or no price, that all souls should come while still in flesh to immediate knowledge of, and contact with, God; and after long and close thinking the experienced soul will answer No, and Yes. No, in so far as the apprehension of the Godhead is concerned; Yes, and most vitally Yes, for Christians, in so far as Communion and Contact with Christ is concerned. Why this distinction? Because the apprehension of the Godhead is beyond the requirements of salvation and redemption, and the world and flesh were created for those purposes. Though there is no limit to the heights to which the soul may aspire, and all souls are invited eventually to behold the Face of God, if so be they shall be able to prepare themselves to endure Him, there are to a soul still in flesh the most terrible dangers in knowing the Fullness of God even so far as His Fullness may be Known to Flesh: never perhaps in all her history is the soul in such danger as she is after coming (in flesh) to the apprehension of the Godhead: and this danger may extend in an acute degree over a period of many years and can never be said to cease altogether. The Soul Knows and feels, when in its acute stage, this horrible danger without comprehending its exact cause and nature, but it has about it the feeling that a man might have standing balanced on a narrow pinnacle. Unapproachable, untouchable only so long as he remains upon the summit, the eyes of a thousand enemies watch for his smallest descent: they watch day and night. What alone can enable the Soul to maintain such a position? Hourly, often momently, Communion with Jesus Christ. What makes such perseverance likely or even possible on the soul's part? Only love can make it so.

If we say Communion with Christ is for the Christian vital to a full redemption, and therefore the Apprehension of Him is essential, to what degree should we experience this Apprehension of Him? The degree at which, perceiving in Him and His ways our Ideal, we become willing to modify and change our manner of thinking and doing in order to meet the requirements of this Ideal. Having gone so far, the soul is likely to become enamoured of Him Personally: then all is indeed well for her.

So then we find that we can apprehend God by an ever-ascending scale of degrees. We can apprehend Him with the Reason and the heart at all hours of the day. We can seek and approach Him with the holy white passion of the Mind. Yet this is not the Apprehension of Him which alone can be termed Contact, and which alone satisfies the soul or gives us the full feeling that we Know God. We cannot "Know" God as fully as He can be known by flesh without we enter ecstasy; but it is not ecstasy which produces the meeting with God, but the meeting with God which produces the ecstasy. Though we are able to enjoy a continual apprehension of Him with heart and Reason, no man could endure an unremitting ecstasy.

Can ecstasy be prepared for? Yes, if we have courage to aspire to it, it can be prepared for by a contemplation of Him in which, to commence with, the Will, Mind, and heart, in great activity of love, send forth all their powers towards God: then for love's sake being glad and willing to become nothing, and becoming, as it were, dead to themselves and all interests and desires usual to them, by Act of God their normal living is then taken over into a greater living. Then He comes.

And when He comes the Reason does not receive Him, but that certain small part, little more than a point in the soul receives Him.

Apart from the joy of it, what is the true value of ecstasy to him to whom it is granted? It raises him above Faith into Certitude. The peace and strength given by Certitude are such that Joy is neither here nor there, the soul can wait for it, because, no matter what may afterwards happen to such a one, he remembers, and remains once and for all aware, that God Is, and that He can be Known: he learns also a new knowledge, but cares nothing for this because it is knowledge or because it is power, but because it brings him nearer to his God.

Having once learnt the knowledge that comes by ecstasy alone, truth to tell, the soul would be content to receive no further ecstasy in flesh; but, intoxicated with love and worship, she best enjoys herself doing all the giving, for when He comes and gives He bursts down all her doors and, under the awful stress of Him, the soul hardly knows how to endure either Himself or herself.

Life in this world is a life for spiritual weaklings. Our eternal Self is an Intelligence, a Desire, and a Will, and the life we live with it is no idle, torpid, confined living such as we have here, but is a living in Liberty, without limit, restriction, fatigue, or satiety; in it word thoughts and thinking are superseded; by comparison to it even the highest thought-achievements of men, their noblest aspirations, appear like the sand-castles of children. Ravished at such further revelations of the Genius of God, the soul at last knows satisfaction. It requires perfection in order to be permanently operative, because only in perfection is Freedom found, and because for the living of it nothing can remain but such Essentials of the soul as cannot be dispersed. It is a measureless Generosity and an ecstasy of Receiving and Giving. To say that purity and perfection are required for this living is no mere arbitrary dictum, but a scientific fact: the impure, imperfect soul finds herself unable in perfect liberty and freedom to expand to interaction with the Divine Activity. When the process of Return is sufficiently completed and, being still in flesh, we enter for a brief time this living, Reason, Pain and Evil, Yesterday and To-morrow disappear. Reason is gathered up into, and superseded by, the spiritual and wordless Intelligence: Pain and Evil, their part and work accomplished, are dispersed and banished into the mists of darkness.

So the soul may learn even from this world something of the mystery of the Depths of God. She may enter into the happiness of Union with the Three in One: the One Whom in a state of glory yet to come she may Behold. But beyond This of Him which He will allow her to Behold, beyond This of Him in which she may repose in bliss, and beyond this Repose which He wills her to know of Him, He shows her that yet more of Him Is which He will share—heights of Felicity beyond all measure, holding the soul till she must pray Him to release her, or she will perish—reeling depths of rapture in a mystery of light; bliss beyond bliss for that lover who shall venture—all Eternity unfolding in fulfilment.

And yet remains That of Him which wills no reciprocity, but shares Himself with Himself. So peace Is. And so, even in not giving, He yet does give that which is most precious, for without He Himself in His forever hidden depths were Peace, His creatures could neither know nor have peace.

Looking into herself, what does the soul perceive? Apart from sins and virtues she perceives two things—caprice and free-will. Neither are of her own creation, but are essentials of her being. It may be that in caprice and free-will she may find an answer to those two questions which stir her to her depths: What is she that God should so love her? and how comes she to be away from Him? Clothed in the body of either man or woman, the soul is predominantly feminine—the Feminine Principle beloved of, and returning to, the Eternal Masculine of God. Caprice is feminine; Caprice and Mystery are two enchanting sisters, and in Woman we see them as being irresistible to Man. Angels, though they are a glory of God's heaven, cannot alone satisfy all the needs of their Creator: they have neither sex nor caprice, nor the mystery which joins hands with it. So He creates the soul, and He gives her an heredity of Himself in the flash-point of the soul, and He gives her sex and caprice and free-will to deny herself to Him if she choose; and in her caprice she goes out and away from Him, and when she would return she cannot, because in infidelity she has dropped from perfection. Disillusioned by her unfaithful wanderings and horribly pained, the soul longs for Him, and He longs for her. He Himself must make her the way of return, which is the way of redemption, and at a terrible cost to Himself He shows her His Righteousness and the mode of her Return in the Face and the Ways of Jesus Christ; and in the Crucifixion He shows her the measure of His love, and in the Cross the necessary abandonment of all self-will—total surrender. And all this suffering to Himself He bears in order to make good the wilful sinning and the misery of the wayward soul. So He brings home the soul, not by force but by love—that love by which He is at once the Life of everything and everything is the life of Him.

Absence from God is Pain, and everlastingly will be Pain in varying degrees. Are there souls who have never left Him? Undoubtedly, but they know nothing of this world. Are we perhaps distressed at this multiplicity of worlds and souls? We need not be, for they are a necessity both of God and of ourselves; for God to Be Himself He must give Himself, and who can receive Him? Not even the greatest of all the Angels can alone bear to endure Him? Only into a vast multiplicity of individuals can God pour and expend Himself to the fullness of His desire, the One to the many. Each individually receives from Him, and each individually and collectively—the many to the One—returns Him those burning favours which are in Celestial-living.

Is it all joy to find God? How can it be? Can faults and sins be eradicated without pain? Life here for the lover of God is one long eradication of offences. How can even the daily requirements of flesh be fulfilled without pain? How without profound humiliation and patience can we descend from Contemplation to duties in the household? How without pain consider with that same mind which has so recently been rapt in God—the various merits of breads, pastries, and portions of dead animals, in order that flesh shall eat and live! What a fall is this!—a fall that must be taken daily and patiently. Is it all joy to love God? How can it be? For Love carries in itself a terrible wound of longing which can never be healed till we come before Him in possession Face to Face.

And many times a day in an unpremeditated natural anguish Love remembers the sufferings of that meek and holy Saviour; how can it be a joy to the soul that passionately loves Him to stand before a tortured Lord, tortured for her? There never was a pain as hard and sharp as this. There are no tears like the tears we shed to Christ.

XVI

We say of God that He is Love and Light, Wisdom and Truth. He is also a Gracious Consenting. So we see the Divine Light Consenting to darkness that it may return to Light, and Divine Love Consenting to infidelity that it may return to Perfect Love.

But this Gracious Consenting is not because of or since Adam, but Adam "is" because of this Consenting.

In the flesh of Adam the fallen soul is brought to a stay-point. Any that have experienced spirit-living even for one hour know that in immortal living is no stay-point but infinity of movement, in which movement the wandering soul becomes lost and finally insensitive. By means of the flesh the soul is brought to that stay-point where she more easily receives and understands the impregnation of Consenting Light, which is the Divine Begetting; and she receives the drawing power of Consenting Love: she is directly operated upon by the Divine Pity Who Himself came to show her the Way of Return: first, by the negation or sacrifice of flesh lusts; secondly, by the sacrifice of spiritual lusts (by which the soul originally fell); until finally, by death to all lusts and infidelities she is reunited to the blisses of Immortal Life. This is the kindly purpose of our life in this world. Christ being Eternal Light and Love and Life, we also are eternal who contain Christ.

So, then, we consent to abandon all lusts of the flesh whilst also consenting to endure any consequences of these lusts in ourselves and others, not in unwillingness to endure, which is resistance, but in submission. From consenting to abandon the delights of the flesh we advance to consenting to the withdrawal of all spiritual delights from us: enduring instead spiritual difficulties, standing firm in the strength of Christ whilst the assaults of self-will and infidelity batter the soul.

We consent to abandon self-absorption in the delights of God, and, returning to the world, endeavour to perform all acts of life in the world in a manner consonant with perfection; but this is impossible: this effort is insupportable without Grace. We cannot do it alone. We learn to know it and to know that we are never alone. Even if we fall into the deepest sin, we are not abandoned by the Divine Graciousness: by consenting to abandon this wickedness we are immediately reunited with the Divine Consenting, and so onwards and upwards in an ever-ascending improvement to perfection: and by consenting the soul daily sinks into the balm of Christ and loses her burden.

We see the Perfection of this divine consenting and abandonment of Self-Will in the final picture of the Cross. We see unmurmuring consent to the death of flesh, consent to the attacks of evil, consent to injustice, consent to infidelity (and straightway they all forsook Him and fled), and, finally, consent to the death of Divine Union: this not without groanings, as being the one supreme and only insupportable Agony.

XVII

How is it that Perfect Love can consent to the wandering of the soul with its consequent sorrow and sin? Divine Light, being also Perfect Freedom, consents to the wandering of the soul; but Divine Love, being also Reciprocity, may not consent to such wandering as shall for ever preclude Reciprocity. The wandering soul must be, will be, Redeemed.

* * *

If Divine Light, being also Perfect Freedom, consents to the wandering of the soul, but Divine Love, being also Reciprocity, may not consent to a perpetual wandering, how set limits in a life in which perfect freedom must continue? A limit can be fixed by Evil, Evil the outermost circle from God, the shore on which, continually breaking and being broken, the soul turns herself in longing to a long-forgotten Lord. Evil is the hedge about the vineyard of the Parable. The soul is free to touch it, free to pass through it if she will, but touching it she knows Pain. Pain causes the soul to pause and consider: now is her opportunity; now she is likely to turn about and seek the Good.

Then the purpose of Evil is fulfilled; then Evil becomes the handmaid of Good; then we can feel and say with sincerity, Evil has smitten me friendly, for it has caused me to turn about and seek Good. Good, once found, is found to be stronger than Evil. In a few years Good has so drawn us that Evil has become negligible; it lies forgotten on a now distant misty shore. The soul is Homeward bound.

XVIII

"If the wicked turn from his sins that he hath committed and keep my statutes . . . all his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him."—Ezekiel xviii. 21, 22.

XIX

Who is so blessed as the Redeemed Sinner? Who can taste the sweetness of God as can the repentant sinner? Who can know His graciousness, His infinity of tenderness and courtesy, as can the sinner? Who knows the heights and depths and lengths and breadths of God's forgiving love as does the sinner? Who can share with God hereafter such close experiences as will the sinner?

Can Angels share the memories of His human days with Christ? And who but the sorely tempted sinner can be bonded to Him by the mutual knowledge of those bitter, burning, desert days? Not the Righteous, nor even Angels can know quite the full beauty of all the bonds that bind the sinner to his Saviour. O marvellous love of God! O blessed soul, O blessed Adam, blessed even in thy sins!

He desired lovers and had none: Created Angels, and, desiring to prove them as lovers, He made Him a Lure.

A third of them turned to the Lure and fell to It. They serve the Lure and take their bread from It, and the offspring of the serving is Evil.

Desiring more lovers, He fashioned souls; yet, when He proved them, they also fell to the Lure.

Being lesser than Angels, they served not the Lure, but the offspring of it—Evil—and became subject to Evil. They were made for Love, and in Evil found no Love, and it was an anguish and it tormented them.

And He put them in flesh, that He might limit their suffering and show them His Light again; covered them about with Limits like a merciful Cloak; hedged them in with Evil as a boundary, so they should have no will to fall away further from Him than Evil because of the pain of it.

But in flesh they continued to serve Evil, and the offspring of the serving was Sin: and they were miserable in their service, because of the pain of it; yet no soul could break the bondage of service, because no soul could be found that, being subject, did not serve, and in serving lose freedom by its own offspring.

Then He sent His Spirit to walk with them in flesh, and being proven as a Lover, was not found wanting, and being subject to Evil did not serve, and remaining Sinless had no offspring to destroy His freedom, and He broke the bondage and showed them a light.

He sent, because He repented Him of the Proving and of the Evil that came of it, and His fallen lovers repented and repent of their fall.

His travail and their travail—the travail of severed Love towards Reunion—is the anguish of the Ages: but the anguish will have an end, because Love is Omnipotence.

———

[Transcriber's notes: The name of the author, Lilian Staveley, is not mentioned on the title page of this text, but I have added it here. I have also made the following editorial changes:

"I am of no value value whatever" to "I am of no value whatever"

"called it it by the same name as I" to "called it by the same name as I"

"God shall see us to to be prepared" to "God shall see us to be prepared"

"the full beauty of all the the bonds" to "the full beauty of all the bonds"]

"(though entirely without effort on her part) is immensely increased)" to "(though entirely without effort on her part) is immensely increased"]

THE END