When her Husband had unrigg'd, and put himself into his proper Habit, he return'd home according to the hour he had appointed, and took no Notice of what had pass'd between 'em. But when at Night they went to Bed, he had a mind to try whether he cou'd with the same briskness manage things at home as he had done abroad: But finding it on both sides much more Dull, he told her St. Ant'lin's Bells didn't Ring half so sweetly then as as they did i'th' Morning: But however, says he, as long as here it is much cheaper, I like it full as well: His Wife was so confounded at the Words, she knew not what to say at first; nor cou'd she guess how he shou'd know that she had spoke such Words in the Morning: At last she was resolv'd he shou'd explain himself; and therefore ask'd him what he meant by those expressions—Nay, what did you mean by 'em, says he, when you repeated them so often in the Morning? How, says she, in a scornful way, I repeat 'em in the Morning? Yes, Madam, says he somewhat angrily, 'Twas you repeated 'em in the Morning, when I lay with you at the Bawdy-House disguis'd like a Gallant, in such a place, and gave you a Guinea for your Mornings Work. Was it you then, said she, that was with me in the Morning? Yes, Mrs. Impudence, says he, that it was. Can you talk of being with you in the Morning, without blushing? To what purpose is it to blush, reply'd she, very confidently? For if I do, you cann't see it: Nor do I know any reason why you shou'd call me Impudence; I am sure I treated you very civilly: and as for my being there, you were there as well as I: And we were both about one Business, and wher's the difference then? Besides, I see 'tis your own Fault; for if you wou'd be but as brisk at home as you are abroad, I should be very well Satisfy'd without going abroad, with your own performances at home. I see you can do better if you will, and if you don't, blame your self and not me, if you are made a Cuckold. The contented Man hearing his Wife's Allegations, Promis'd that he wou'd do better for the time to come; and she on that condition promising him to go no more to St. Antholin's to hear how sweetly the Bells ring, they forgave one another, and were both Freinds.

Thus Bawds with Wives of Citizens gets in, And then keeps up a Publick House of Sin: And whilst men do maintain their Wives so high Their lusts are more than they can satisfie.

* * * * *

CHAP. IX.

How a Gentleman that fell in Love with another Mans Wife, through the Advice of a Bawd enjoy'd her, and upon what Terms, and what happen'd thereupon.

An Amorous Spark having observed a very fine Woman sitting in a Goldsmiths Shop behind the Counter, was so much taken with her, that nothing wou'd serve him but enjoying her; which yet he was altogether at a Loss how to accomplish, having no manner of Acquaintance either with her or her Husband. In this hopeless condition he goes to a Bawd, who had several times assisted him in his Love Intreagues, and tells her at what a non-plus he was how to accomplish his Design: The Bawd at first persuades him off of her, and promises to help him to one that shall not only equal but surpass her: But all that was in vain, for nothing wou'd Satify but, only this very Person. Well, says this Mistress in the Mystery of Iniquity, I'll tell you how you shall obtain your Purpose, if you are resolv'd to pursue it: Do but that, says he, and you'll oblige me for ever,—Well then, says she, you must take an opportunity to go into the Shop when she's there, and buy some little Trifle or other of her, or her Husband, and repeat this so often, buying sometimes one thing, and sometimes another, till by degrees you have brought your self acquainted with her and her Husband, and in so doing, you cann't miss of an opportunity to sound her Inclinations: If Pleasure has the Ascendant over her, you'll gain your Point the sooner; but if money be the Idol she adores, you must attack her with Gifts, and making Presents to her, and you cannot fail of Prevailing: The Gentleman lik'd her counsel very well, and was resolv'd to take it: And accordingly took an opportunity to buy a Silver Snush-Box; and having before bought some fine French Walnuts, he presented his Mistress with some, and by cracking of them, had an opportunity to tarry longer in the Shop, and gaze more on that Beauty which had already overcome him. In two or three days after, he comes again and buys half a dozen Silver Spoons and Forks, and then brought some peaches to his Mistress and presents her with them; and a Week after buys some other odd things; and still brought something or other which he presented to his Mistress; who always look'd upon it as the Effect of his good-nature, and Affable Temper, and had no apprehension of his being her humble Servant. After he had drove this Trade of being a constant Customer to the Shop for several Weeks together, and had made no farther progress of his Amours save to be look'd on as a Friend and Acquaintance, and once or twice invited to Dinner; at one of which times her Husband was call'd down into the Shop, to a Customer; in which Interim, he took an opportunity to acquaint her somewhat darkly with his Passion, which she either did not, or wou'd not understand; So that he begun almost to Despair, and complain'd to the Bawd how much charge he had been at, and what little likelihood there was of attaining his end.

The Bawd told him he had no reason yet to complain; for having got an Acquaintance there, and once discovered his Passion, he had brought things to a pretty good forwardness: My advice therefore now is, said she, that you let her absolutely know your Mind, and solicite her for the last Favour; and let me know your success, and then I'll tell you how you shall proceed.

He once more takes her Counsel, and going to cheapen some Knick knacks there, he finds her all alone; and having bought something of her, letting it lie upon the Counter, Madam, says he, I have made many Errands hither, but 'tis for your sake; for you are my chief Business, and your incomparable and Peerless Beauty, has made that Impression in my heart as will put a sudden Period to my Life unless your Compassion will grant me a Reprieve: for nothing can retrieve it, but the Enjoyment of your Love, and Beauty.—I can't believe, Sir, says she, that that poor Stock of Beauty I am Owner of, can ever produce any such fatal Effects as those you speak of. But 'tis the common Theam that you are pleas'd to entertain our Sex withal, tho there be nothing in it. However, 'tis methinks a great Peice of Folly to love at that rate, where you can have no hopes of Enjoyment: for I am otherways dispos'd of: And there are young Ladies enough that are single, that are more worthy of you. I question not Madam, replyed he, but I might have choice of Mistresses: But, 'tis you only that have wounded me, and therefore 'tis you alone that can effect my Care.—What wou'd you have me do to cure you, Sir, said she? Do, Madam, said he! Grant me the Enjoyment of your Love, for that alone can give me Ease. Why, said she, wou'd you have me wrong my Husband's Bed? Shou'd I do so, how do you think he'd take it? E'en bad enough, I do believe, said he; if you shou'd let him know it; but sure there's no necessity of that. And if you keep your Counsel, I shall take nothing from him he can miss.—Hold, Sir, says she, you talk as if we were already both agreed; but you shall find there will be two Words to the making of that Bargain. Besides you dont—But here's my Husband coming, says the Jilt—Indeed Sir; I have sold you a Pen'worth in it: I'll be Judg'd by my Husband. (Her Husband coming then into the Shop) the Gentleman perceiving how cunningly she turn'd off her Discourse, told her he did believe she had'nt wrong'd him much, and he was satisfied. And then shewing her Husband what he had bought, and what he paid for it, he told him his Wife had us'd him very well: And so he took his leave of 'em; and went to his old Crone the Bawd, and told her what had past. You may depend upon it, says the Bawd, that sh'll comply; but you must Fee her pretty high, or it won't do. This made him Shrug; for tho he had a great mind to enjoy her, he was not willing to be at too much charge Which the Old Bawd perceiving, told him he cou'd not hope to carry her under a Present of at least Fifty Guinea's; but yet, says she, if you will give me but Five, I'll warrant you shall gain your Point without being at any Charge at all: Make but that out, says he, and I'll promise you the five Guinea's as soon as e'er I have enjoy'd her: No, Sir, says the Bawd, I'll have my Money in hand; for you know, we never trust. Well, says he, here's your Money, and giving it into her hand, Now let me know your Method. Upon which the Bawd thus began.

Before I proceed, pray tell me the Price of that Diamond Ring you wear upon your Finger: Why what wou'd you do with that, replies the Beau; I woud'nt part with my Ring for an hundred Guineas, for it cost me above Four-score, and I had a great Peniworth in it; and if you'd have me to give her that, this is all Trick and Cheat; and I am only Funn'd out of five Guineas for nothing. Why so hasty, says the Bawd? I design no such matter; but you won't hear me out. Go to the Goldsmith, and tell him you are disappointed of a Bill that you expected out of the Country, and that you have a Present occasion for fifty Guineas, which you must desire him to let you have, and you'll leave him that Ring as a pledge in the mean time; and that as soon as your Bill comes to Town, which you expect every day, you'll pay him again. This is a kindness he won't deny you, because he runs no hazzard in it, and thereby he obliges a Customer. When you have got these fifty Guineas, take the first opportunity to discourse your Mistress; if you find she'll do't for Love, your Money's sav'd, and you have nothing else to do but enjoy her: But if the Jade be mercenary, as I dare say she is, you must tempt her with Gold; and that you may be sure to make her bite, give her the fifty Guineas that you borrow'd of her Husband.—A Pox take ye, for an Old Bitch, says he, in a kind of Passion; is this the way to bring me off for nothing?—You are too hasty still, replyes the Bawd; let me have done first, and then talk your Pleasure: Do, as I say; give her the fifty Guineas; and when you have enjoy'd her stay with her, either in the Chamber, or the Shop, until her Husband does come in: And when you see him, tell him you have receiv'd the Bill that you expected, and have brought the fifty Guineas that you borrow'd of him, and paid it to his Wife; and so desire him to let you have your Ring again. His Wife (to save her Honour) can do no less than own she has receiv'd the Money; and so her Husband must restore your Ring. And then do you be judge whether or no you don't come off for nothing. Well, thee'rt a dear sweet Rogue for this Contrivance, says he, and I could almost kiss thee, but that thy Mouth's so strongly guarded by thy Nose and Chin, that there's no coming at it: I like thy Plot extreamly well; and I'll go presently and put it in Execution.

Away goes the Fop, as well pleas'd to think he shou'd put a Trick on his Mistress as he shou'd enioy her, which for the Lucre of the Fifty Guinea's he no longer question'd. And coming to the Goldsmith's Shop, he pulls his Ring off of his Finger, and asks him what he'll give him for't: The Goldsmith having look'd upon it, told him he'd give him Seventy Guineas for it. It cost me more than Eighty, says the Beau, but I won't part with it; only because I'm short of Money, being disappointed of a Bill that I expected to receive, I must desire the kindness of you to let me have fifty Guineas on it till I receive my Bill, which will be in a Fortnight or three Weeks time at farthest; and I'll allow you what you shall think reasonable for it. The Goldsmith very readily gives him the fifty Guineas be desir'd, and takes his Ring as a Security. And so taking his leave, goes home very well satisfied; he had proceeded thus far prosperously.

In two or three days after, he goes to make a Visit to the Goldsmith's Wife; and it fell out in such a lucky minute, that her Husband was from home; whereby he had an opportunity with the more freedom to renew his Suit; and tho' he arm'd himself with all the Charms he cou'd, taking the Auxiliary helps both of the Tayler, Barber, and Perfumer; yet it all wou'd not do: Fain he'd ha'd sav'd running the hazard of his fifty Guineas; but when he found he cou'd not without such a Present obtain his wish'd Enjoyment, he as his last Effort, address'd her thus: Well, Madam; I do perceive you are of kin to Danae, whom Jove himself could not prevail upon until he courted her in Showers of Gold, an that dissolv'd her quickly into Love; & I intend to follow his Example, and to Enjoy your Favour I make this Present to you, and, therewithal gave her the fifty Guineas. And this had so soon molified her Stubborness, and made her maleable, that she straight made him this agreeable Return; Well, Sir, I see you are so much a Gentleman, that I scarce know how to deny you any longer: Your Amiable Person and good Humour, has over-come me so, I can no longer make Resistance, but offer my self to your Embraces. The Gallant then enquir'd if all were safe below, and if they shou'd not be in danger of meeting any Interruption from her Husband. To which she bid him never fear, all was secure enough. And then conducting him into the Chamber, she let him have what he so much desir'd. When he had thus debauch'd her, and satisfy'd his Lustful Appetite, he ask'd her how long 'twould be before her Husband wou'd be at home again, she told him he was gone out of Town; and wou'd not be at home this Ten-days. At which he seem'd to be surpriz'd, for he was loath to be without his Ring so long; but since there was no Remedy, he was resolv'd to wait till he came home. His Mistress seeing him so indifferent at the hearing of her Husbands Absence, cou'd not tell what to think shou'd be the reason of it; and ask'd him what 'twas troubled him? Nothing, my Dear, said he, but I was thinking how crosly things fell out; because my own Affairs obliges me to be some Days out of Town just at this happy Juncture, when I might have been blest so oft with your Embraces. The cunning Baggage (now she had got his fifty Guinea's) was as indifferent as he for that, and told him Time might present 'em with another opportunity which might be full as favourable. And so they parted.

The Spark was satisfied with the enjoyment of his Lady, and that Itch now was Cur'd; he only wanted back his Ring, or else his fifty Guineas, that he might demand it of her Husband; and now reflecting on his short liv'd Pleasure, he truly judg'd that he had bought it at too dear a Rate, altho' he should be only at the Five Guineas Charge he gave the Bawd.

But since the Goldsmith's being out of Town was such a Disappointed as cou'd not be fore-seen, & yet had been extreamly serviceable to him in the Enjoyment of his Mistress, he goes to the Old Bawd, and gives her an Account of what had pass'd, and asks her further how he must proceed in getting of his Ring again, without repaying of the Fifty Guineas? Give me the other Fee, says the Old Jade, and I'll inform you; for I am like a Lawyer, and don't know how to speak without a Fee. No, no, says he, I have Feed enough before, nor would I give so much again, for all the Pleasure her Enjoyment gave me.—The Bawd, (since she saw nothing more was to be got by him) advises him to wait the Goldsmiths coming home, and then take a fit opportunity to go to her alone, and to pretend he was just come to Town; and to desire another Assignation from her, which being made, and you having once more Enjoy'd her, stay till her Husband comes, and do as you were first directed. And when you have got your Ring again, I hope you'll then present me with two Guineas more.—No, not a Farthing more, says he, you know I paid you very well before-hand: And so left her.

The Bawd perceiving nothing more was to be got from him, resolv'd she wou'd be even with him, and take another Course to make a Penny of him: And thereupon goes the next Morning to the Goldsmith's Shop, and asks the Prentice if his Mistress was within; He answers, Yes, and she reply'd she must needs speak with her, who coming down, the Bawd Whispers her in the Ear, that she had something to acquaint her with, of great Importance to her; which was not fit to be discours'd of Publickly: And thereupon the Mistress ask'd her to walk up, and leading of her into a with-drawing Room, desir'd her to sit down, and then intreated her to tell her Business; upon which the Bawd began as followeth.

Madam.

Altho' I am a Stranger to you, I doubt not but you will excuse the rudeness of this Visit, when you shall know 'twas only the Concern I have to see a lady of your Worth and Beauty, so much Design'd upon and Trick'd, as you are like to be, that has occasion'd it: I Know therefore, Madam, that there's a Gentleman, who has been for some time a great Admirer of your Matchless Beauty, which truly does deserve all those Encomiums that I have often heard him justly give it. This Gentleman, under the Notion of a Customer, has made you many Visits: And has been pleas'd (I know not for what reason) to make me his Confident; of which I need give you no further Instant, then that he has acquainted me that but a few Days past he gave you fifty Guineas, for which by way of Gratitude, he was admitted to enjoy your last Favours:—Here the Young Lady interrupted her, all Blushing and Confus'd; Madam, you've fully satisfy'd me, said she, that that false man has let you know my Weakness, and most ungratefully expos'd my Honour, and betray'd me to the world.—Nay, Madam; said the Bawd, be not so passionate; I don't believe he has acquainted any with it, but myself. Nor let the thoughts of that at all disturb you; for, that's a Crime that I have known, for more than thirty-Years, the rest of all our Sex has scarce been free from. But that which more stirs up my Spleen against him, is for the Trick he designs to put upon you still; which is the only reason of my giving you this trouble. You will oblige me in it very much, reply'd the Goldsmith's Wife. Then this says the Bawd, it is. He understands your Husband is now out of Town; and will be so for Seven or Eight Days time. As soon as he comes home, your Gallant will be with you to appoint him a time in which he may again enjoy your Favour; which when he has enjoy'd, he does intend to tarry till your Husband shall come in, and then accquaint him that he has paid to him the fifty Guineas that he borrow'd of him on his Ring; and so desire that he may have his Ring again; which is the thing he aims at. For he well knows, that when you shall be askt whether or no you have receiv'd the 50 Guineas, your Honour is so far concern'd, you can't deny it. O Treach'rous Villian said the She Goldsmith, with some indignation, Is this the Generosity he so much boasted of? Yes, Madam, says the Bawd, this is what he designs to do; But I am so concerned to see a Lady of your Worth so basely and ingratefully impos'd upon, I could not but discover it: And if you wou'd be rul'd by me, you shou'd out-Trick the Fop, and catch him in the Snare he'd lay for you.—O I'd do any thing to be reveng'd on him, cry'd the young Lady with some eagerness: And do but tell me how, and Keep my Counsel, and I'll so well reward you for your Pains, that you shall say I'm grateful.—Then Madam, says the Bawd, as soon as your Husband comes to Town, before he comes to know of it, send one to tell him that you must needs speak with him about earnest Business, and when he's come, tell him that you expect your Husband the next day; and therefore beg the Favour of him to let you have his Company that Night, and as an Earnest of your Love to him, & that he should not think you mercenary, you'll both return him Fifty Guineas, and give him back the Ring he gave your Husband for a Pawn: And tell him likewise you have engag'd the Maid to Secresie; for which if he presents her with a Guinea, 'tis all he needs to do: This will, I'm sure engage him; for he's as Covetous as he is Lustful: And when he's thus engag'd, in the next place acquaint your Husband how you cou'd scarce have any quiet in his absence from this young Spark's continual Solicitations to unlawful Love. Then tell him that you have appointed him to come that Evening, of which you thought fit to acquaint him, that he might give him that Correction which he saw necessary, to cool his too hot Blood: This will so much confirm your Husband in his opinion of your inviolable Chastity, that all your Treacherous Gallant shall offer to the contrary will be look'd upon as the Effect of Malice and Revenge. Thus you'll confirm your Reputation to the World, and keep these Fifty Guineas he designs to cheat you out of, and be sufficiently reveng'd on an ungrateful Man.

Well (says the injur'd Gentlewoman) I'm pleas'd with your Contrivance; keep but my Counsel, and you shall see my Vengeance on this ungrateful Wretch, and with how just a Retribution I shall use him for his intended Villany. And that you may be sensible you have not lost your Labour, accept of this; and therewithal she put Ten Guineas in her hand, and promis'd her a further Token of her Gratitude: And so dismist her.—The Bawd was well pleas'd with the Mornings Work she'd made; and finding that the Goldsmith's Wife was like to be the better Customer, she hugg'd her self for her contrivance, and her Treachery to the Cully Beau.

That Afternoon the Wrathful Lady receiv'd a Letter from her Husband, that he intended to be in Town the Thursday following, and desir'd her to meet him that day at Hammersmith about noon, where he wou'd dine with her, and so come home together. She therefore sent a Messenger to tell her Treacherous Lover she must needs speak with him on Thursday Morning, for she had something of Moment to impart to him; who presently on the receiving of this Note, came to her, fearing there might be some Discovery of their Love-enjoyment.

As soon as he was come, she tells him she was extreamly Troubled she had not seen him since; and that she never had enjoy'd more pleasure than in his Embraces; and understanding that her Husband wou'd be at home on Friday Night, she had contriv'd things so, that he might freely, and without Interruption, lie with her on Thursday Night. Which she desir'd on the Account of that affection which she had for him, and of the Pleasure which she took in his Embraces; and that he might be satisfy'd 'twas so, she did engage the next Morning to present him with his Fifty Guineas, which, she was sorry that she had took of him: And as a further Testimony of it, if he could but procure things necessary for the picking of the Locks belonging to her Husbands Cabinet, she'd give him back the Diamond Ring he gave her Husband as a Pledge for fifty Guineas; and, as occasion offer'd, wou'd be very grateful to him otherways.

These Generous Offers overcame the Spark to all Intents and purposes; and he wou'd fain have been a dabling with her then; But she forbid him, and told him 'twas not at that time convenient, but she had order'd matters so, that when he came on Thursday-night, there shou'd be nothing that shou'd interrupt them. Telling him further, she had made the Maid acquainted with their Secrets, who was intirely in their Interests, and that it wou'd not be amiss to give her something as an Encouragement: And thereupon, calling the Maid to fetch a Bottle of Wine, he gave her half a Guinea, and told her, that was but an Earnest of that which he intended her to Morrow-night. And then drinking his Wine up, he gave his Mistress a Salute, and took his leave; she bidding him besure not to forget to bring the Picklocks with him, that she might help him to the Ring.

The Plot being thus laid, on Thursday-Morning, she prepares to meet her Husband; having before acquainted her Maid with her Design, who mightily commended both her Honesty and Ingenuity, for she knew nothing of what had before past between 'em.

Being come to Hammersmith, and meeting with her Husband there, she told him she had something to say to him privately that did as much concern his Honour as her own: And then, as they were walking together in the Garden she thus began to tell him her Design.

My Dear,

I doubt not but you are well satisfied that I have all along took care in all my Actions still to approve my self (what you shall ever find me) a chaste and vertuous Wife, and tho' I am not sensible I ever gave encouragement to any lustful Eyes to cast a wanton Glance at me yet so it is, I have been solicited to commit Folly both against Heaven and you, with that young Gentleman to whom you lent the 50 Guineas on the Diamond Ring; & tho' I have as oft deny'd his Suit as he has made it, yet he continues his Solicitations still; and has been so importunate of late that I could scarce be ever quiet for him: And therefore being with me Yesterday, & urging me for my Consent to his unlawful Amours, I did appoint him to come to me this Night; having before receiv'd your Letter, by which I knew you wou'd be then at home. The lustful Fool is extream Confident that I will yield to his Desires; & since he wants no Money I thought it best to seem to yield to him, that having caught him your Trap, you may deal with him as you please. And there's another thing that I have to acquaint you with, and that is, that he's as Covetous as he is Leacherous, and did but Yesterday solicit me to let him have his Ring: And tho' (to put him off) I told him 'twas lock'd up in a Cabinet of which you had the Key: yet he reply'd that he cou'd bring a Picklock with him that cou'd open it. So that I am afraid he does design as well to rob you of your Treasure as your Honour. But ere to morrow Morning, I hope you'll have it in your power to make him pay for his Attempting either. At least I have contributed what I can towards it, and leave the rest to you.

The poor Contented Goldsmith, (who thought his Wife far Chaster than Diana of her Nymphs; and that the Wife of Collatine wa'nt worthy to compare to her) was hugely pleas'd with his Wife's Policy; and therefore order'd her to go home first alone, whilst he came after her Incognito; and when her Gallant came, he bid her hasten him to bed; and whilst she stood before him, that the Maid shou'd take away his Sword, and then he thought he might the better deal with a Naked Man: All which she promis'd him shou'd be obey'd.

At Night the poor deluded Cully comes to the Goldsmith's, according to appointment; and was conducted presently up Stairs; where, he might the less suspect foul Play, he finds a good Collation was proyided, which he and his false Mistress feasted at, she urging him to make haste into Bed, that there they might have more delicious Dainties, and she beginning to undress her self, he made most haste and first got into Bed; and then the Maid (as she was before directed) having privately carry'd off the Sword, comes running in upon a sudden, and cries out, O Mistress, we are all undone! My Master's coming up Stairs. Up gets the Quaking Beau immediately, and runs under the Bed, which he had but just done, before the Goldsmith enter'd: Who seeing of his Wife, Accosts her thus, My Dear I'm come a Day sooner than I expected,—You're very Welcome, Love, said she again, looking as one surpriz'd, at which, cries he, Why how now? What's the matter with you? And then looking about the Chamber, he sees a very Beauish Powder'd Wig; Ah ha! says he; What have we here? A Wig, new Powder'd! Pray whose Wig is this? I'm sure 'tis none of mine; then looking on the Bed, he sees a pair of Breeches lie, Hey dey! Cries he, Pray whose are these? They're yours, said she, for ought I know, (speaking a little surlily) whose shou'd they be, d'ye think? They're none of mine, says he, I'm sure; But let me see, what is there in 'em?—Then searching of the Pockets, he pulls out a Gold Watch, about Nine or Ten Guineas, a Silver Snush-Box, and several Pick-Locks: As soon as he perceiv'd the Pick-Locks, So, so, cries he, here's a fine Trade indeed! Cou'd you get none to serve you, but some Newgate-Stallion; One that us'd to Break up Houses, and Pick open Locks! Where is this Villain, says he, that Wrongs my Bed, and thus dishonours me, that I may run my Sword into his Heart, and send him of an Errand to the Devil?

The Poor Dejected Wretch, that look'd each moment to be stuck to th' Floor, resolving now to venture on the Goldsmith's Clemency, came trembling out from underneath the Bed, & begg'd of him to save his Life, and he wou'd tell him all that e'er he knew. Don't tell me, says the Goldsmith of what you know, but tell me what Satisfaction shall I have for the wrong you've done me, to come thus to defile my Bed? Indeed, said he, I did it never but once before. How! says the Goldsmith, have you lain with my Wife before? Yes, if it please you, once, and never but once. With that his Wife with open mouth came to him, O Villain, said she, art not thou asham'd thus falsly to accuse me to my Husband, because thy own base wicked inclinations are now brought to light? Hast thou not been soliciting of me to act Uncleanness with thee, a long time, and I refus'd it always? Nay, didst thou not intice me to it Yesterday, and I appointed thee to come to Night, because I knew my Husband wou'd be at home to give thee thy Reward? Let the Maid speak, I won't be my own Judge—Yes, Sir, reply'd the Maid, I know that what my Mistress says is true—

The Goldsmith then seeming to look more wistly at him, _What, Mr._ Bramble_ says he, as if he'd been surpriz'd: _Is't you that did intend to claw me off thus? And then to mend the matter, go to accuse my Wife too, as if she had been Dishonest with you; when I am satisfied there e'nt an honester Woman in the Kingdom. Why to be plain with ye, 'tis she that has discover'd all your Roguery_: As soon as he heard that, lifting up his Hands and Eyes, _O the Deceit_, said he, _that is in Women!_ Pray give me leave to put my Cloaths on, and then hear me what I have to say—_No_, says the Goldsmith, _I'll not part with these Cloaths; but yet I'll lend you something to cover your Nakedness with all_; and then bid the Maid to reach him an old Suit of his. Which having put on, _Now_, says he, _give me but leave to speak, and I will tell you how false that Woman is_: Come, said the Goldsmith, let's hear what you have to say. Upon which _Bramble_ thus began.

I must confess my Fault; I do acknowledge I did oft-times solicite your Wife to let me lie with her, and I must do her that Justice to tell you that she still refus'd it; until at last I borrow'd fifty Guineas of you on a Ring, and that I gave her, and she thereupon permitted me to lie with her. And I ne'er thought of Lying with her more, until she sent for me yesterday morning; and told me how much she lov'd me, and that you were to come home on Friday-night, and she wou'd have me Lie with her on Thursday night; and that to let me know how well she lik'd me, she wou'd return me back again the fifty Guineas that I gave her, and also give me back the Ring I pawn'd to you for fifty Guineas. And that was the Occasion of my coming here to Night.

But said the Goldsmith, Pray resolve me one thing; What made you bring the Pick-locks in your Pocket?

I brought these Pick-locks, reply'd he, at her desire, to open the Cabinet, wherein the Ring was put.

By that, answer'd the Goldsmith, I know that what you have said is false. For what need she to have desir'd you to bring Picklocks to open the Cabinet withal, when as the Key of it was in her keeping? for I left it with her when I went out of Town.

'Tis very true, my Dear, reply'd his Wife, and here it is. And then going to her Chest of Drawers, she gave him out the Key of the Cabinet.

No, Sirrah, says the Goldsmith, you're a Rascal; and you accuse my Chaste and Vertuous Wife because she has discover'd your Baseness—'Tis plain enough that your Design was to debauch my Wife, and then to Rob my House; and I will make you suffer for't, before I've done with you. I've lost above Five hundred pounds already; and for ought I know you may be the Thief; for I have found you in my Chamber underneath my Bed, with Picklocks in your Breeches—Here Boy go call a Constable.

The poor Beau finding himself in such bad Circumstances, begg'd him for Heavens sake, he wou'd not to call a Constable; for if he shou'd be sent to Goal, his Reputation wou'd be lost for ever. Matters were private now, and if they might be kept so, let him but make his own Demands, and he wou'd satisfie 'em.—This Generous submission did somewhat qualifie the Goldsmith's Passion. And calling of his Man to fetch his Books up, he look'd what he had lost by Mr Theif, and finding there about four hundred Pounds set down, he told him, That he'd use him kindly, and take his Bond for Three hundred and fifty pound, including in it the fifty Guineas he had lent him; and for the Ring, since he had in so gross a manner abus'd his Wife, he shou'd bestow that on her, to make her Satisfaction.

These were hard Terms poor Bramble thought; but yet considering his Circumstances, he judg'd 'twas better to comply than go to Goal, which wou'd be the Result of being had before a Justice.

The Bonds being made and Seal'd, he fetches him the Ring, which he, (with begging of her Pardon,) presents the Goldsmith's Wife, and desires her to accept of it for the affront he so unworthily had put upon her. And then, after a Bottle of Wine at parting, they let him go; restoring him his Cloaths and all things again. She telling of him, as he was going out of Doors, She hop'd that this wou'd be a warning to him how he hereafter went about to put Tricks upon Gentlewomen, or make his Boast what private Favours he had receiv'd from 'em.

Thus still the Bawd tempts all she can to Sin, And leaves them in the Lurch, when once they're in: To heap up Gold, which she so much adores, She makes Men Atheists, and makes Women Whores, She lives by Sin; and if she can but gain, She has her End, let those that list Complain.

* * * * *

CHAP. X.

How the Goldsmiths Wife went to the Bawd, and gave her an Account how she had serv'd her Treacherous Gallant; and how the Bawd related several of her own Exploits, &c In a short History of her Life.

About a week after poor Mr. Bramble had been so miserably handled by the Contrivance of the old Bawd, and the Splenetick and Vindictive Temper of the Goldsmith's Wife; whereby she doubled on himself all the Design he had of Cheating her: She thought upon the Promise she had made to the Old Bawd, of giving her a Visit, and Enlarging her Gratuity: For she saw clearly now her Words were True, and Bramble made a full account to Cheat her, tho' 'twas by the Exposing of her Honour, which she cou'd never have retriev'd had it not been for the old Bawd's Advice; altho' indeed, when she had put her in the way, she did her self improve it further to her own Advantage.

She therefore took Ten Guineas in her Pocket, which she believ'd she had deserv'd; and which she also thought wou'd so engage her, that she need not fear Discovery. And being come to her House, (to find which she before had given her Directions) she had no sooner ask'd for her, but found her; and the old Bawd taking her up into her Dining-Room, told her, that she was glad too see her in her poor Habitation. O Mother, says the She-Goldsmith, I found that Treacherous Villain the same false man you represented him; and if I had'nt took your Counsel, my Honour had been Ruin'd; for the insipid Sot told all that e'er had past between us to my Husband; but thanks to my good Stars, & your sage Counsel, I clearly got the Ascendant over him, for which I here present you with a farther Testimony of my Gratuity. The Bawd, (who met with such large Fees but seldom) was so well pleas'd with her Ingenuous and generous Temper, that she both thank'd her heartily for what she had presented her and told her that if hereafter she cou'd by any means oblige her, she wou'd be sure to do it: For I assure you, added she, that Trading now is very Dead, and I have got but little Custom.—This made the Gentlewoman ask her what Trade she follow'd (for she was Ignorant she was a Bawd)—Madam, reply'd the old Crone, You have so far engag'd me by your Generosity, I can deny you nothing; and therefore if you please, I'll give you the History of my Life: In which you may perhaps find something that may be diverting: For I have in my time run through varieties of Changes, and met with very odd Rencounters: Which if I may not too much Trespass on your patience, I'll relate to you with all the Brevity I can.—To which, with an obliging Bow, the Gentlewoman told her, she shou'd esteem herself indebted to her for so great an Obligation.—And then the Bawd began as followeth.

Madam,

Before I give you that Account of my Life which I design, I think my self obliged first of all, to answer the Question you were pleas'd to put to me, viz. What Trade or Calling 'tis I follow, the knowledge of which, will make that I shall afterwards relate, the more Intelligible to you.

Know therefore, Madam, That the House which I now keep, is a House of Convenience for Gentlemen and Ladies: And goes under several Denominations: Some call it The School of Venus, others a Vaulting School; other the Assignation-House: And some that are my Enemies, bestow upon it the Title of a Bawdy-House; but this Title I neither lay claim to, nor take Pleasure in. Tho' I confess, my Business is to help a Gentleman that is in distress, to the Enjoyment of a Gentlewoman; and a Gentlewoman that has the like occasion, to a Gallant. In which I always take care to help either Sex to that which may be for their Purpose; and always Warrant those I help 'em to, to be Safe and Sound; for I Value my Reputation more, than to put a bad Commodity into any Man's hand. I am not unsensible that this is decried as a very unlawful Calling; but for my part, to be plain with you, Madam, I am of another Opinion: For Nature that has given us Appetites, has also given us an Inclination to satisfie 'em; and 'tis no more than the Satisfying the Natural Desires and Inclinations of Men and Women; that I concern my self about. I know it will be Objected that Marriage is appointed as a Remedy in that Case. And to those that are equally Match'd, without any Impediment on either side, I grant it: And whether there be any such Impediment, or not, they can best tell, that have such Wives or Husbands. It is not my Business to ask 'em and if they do't without occasion, 'tis their own fault, and not mine. I know (and know it by Experience too) there's many a Man that looks as likely as your Husband does, and yet cann't give a Woman that which Nature calls for. Some Men (and so some Women too) have greater Stomachs, and some less, as Nature orders it; and if their Diet be'nt proportion'd according to their Stomachs, some may be Surfeited, and others Starv'd. For that which one can live on very well, wou'd starve another; And the Concupiscential Appetites of Men and Women, do differ as much as do their Stomachs. And therefore Married People are not so much to blame in making use of others besides their Wives or Husbands; provided that they take that Prudent Care and Circumspection which is so requisite in such affairs. And because Madam, you are yet but a Beginner, and may perhaps be startled at this Doctrine, I'll let you see 'tis not my single Notion, but is the Judgment of a Learned Author, who long ago has written on this Subject, a Choice Copy of Verses, which I'll here repeat to you. He Entitles it,

Upon Love fondly Refused for Conscience sake.

Nature, Creations law, is judg'd by Sense, Not by the Tyrant Conscience; Then our Commission gives us leave to do What Youth and Pleasure Prompt us to: For we must question else Heav'ns great Decree, And tax it with a Treachery; If things made sweet to attempt our Appetite, Should with a guilt Stain the Delight. High'r Pow'rs rule us, our Selves can nothing do, Who made us Love, hath made Love lawful too. It was not Love, but Love transform'd to Vice, Ravish'd by Envious Avarice, Made Woman first Impropriate; all were free; Inclosures Mens Inventions be. I'th Golden Age, no Action cou'd be found For Trespass on my Neighbour's ground: 'Twas just, with any Fair to mix our Blood; The best is most diffusive Good. She that confines her Beams to one Mans sight, Is a Dark Lanthorn to a Shining Light. Say, Does the Virgin Spring less Chaste appear, 'Cause many Thirsts are quenched there? Or have you not with the same Odours met, When more then One have smelt your Violet The Phoenix is not angry at her nest, 'Cause her Perfumes makes others Blest: Tho' Incense to th' Immortal Gods be meant, Yet Mortals rival in the Scent. Man is the Lord of Creatures; yet we see That all his Vassals Loves are free; The severe Wedlock-Fetters do not bind The Pard's inflam'd and Am'rous Mind, But that he may be like a Bridegroom led Ev'n to the Royal Lion's Bed. The Birds made for a Year their Loves Confine, But make new Choice each Valentine. If our Affections then more servile be Than are our Slaves, where's Mans Sov'raignity? Why then by pleasing more, should you less please, And spare your sweets, being more sweet than these? If the fresh Trunk have Sap enough to give, That each insertive Branch may live; The Gardner grafts not only Apples there, But adds the Warden and the Pear; The Peach and Apricock together grow, The Cherry and the Damson too; Till he hath made, by Skilful Husbandry, An intire Orchard of one Tree. So least our Paradise Perfection want, We may inoculate and plant. What's Conscience, but a Beldams Midnight Theam; Or Nodding Nurses idle Dream? So feign'd as are the Goblins, Elves and Fairies, To watch their Orchard's and their Daries. For who can tell when first her Reign begun? I'th' State of Innocence was none: And since large Conscience (as the Proverb shows) In the same sense as bad one goes; The Less, the Better then; whence this will fall, He's perfect that hath none at all. Suppose it be a Vertue rich and pure; 'Tis not for Spring or Summer sure; Nor yet for Autumn; Love must have his Prime, His Warmer Hearts, and Harvest time. Till we have flourish'd, grown, & reap'd our Wishes. What Conscience dares oppose our Kisses? But when Time's colder hand leades us near home Then let that Winter-Vertue come: Frost is till then Prodigious; We may do What Youth, and Pleasure Prompts us to.

When the Bawd had made an end of Repeating her Verses, the Goldsmith's Lady told her they were very Ingenious and Diverting Lines, and that she had oblig'd her extreamly by repeating them. And then pray'd her to go on with her Discourse which she lik'd very well. Upon which the Bawd thus proceeded.

I think Madam, I have said enough to justify both Sexes, in the gratifying of their Amorous Desires, tho' they be married; for 'tis not strange at all to hear that Men and Women have been married, and yet have been uncapable of answering the Ends of Marriage, or satisfying the Delights of Venus. It is not long since I was told of a young pretty Virgin that happen'd to be married to a Man who was deficient in his Virility, which the poor thing (being asham'd to speak on't and not knowing any other Remedy) laid so to heart, in a short time it kill'd her: But had I been acquainted with her, I could have helpt her to a brisk young Man, one that had given proof of his Sufficiency, which shou'd have eas'd her pain, and sav'd her Life. And therefore, Madam, since married Persons may stand so much in need of my assistance, and much more may they that are unmarried, who doubtless have the same desires that married People have: Nay, their Desires are generally more impetuous; for finding of their Natural Concupiscence stirring 'em up to a desire of Copulation, they apprehend that there's more in't then what they find, when once they come to try. And these things, Madam, in Italy (as I have heard by several) are so common, that 'tis scarce thought a Crime: Or, if it be, 'tis but a venial one, as all the Devout Doctors of the Roman-Church, (nay, and the Pope himself) assures us: And therefore Madam, to deal freely with you, I have long since declar'd my self a Roman Catholick, for that Religion allowes us the most Pleasure while we live, and promises us Heaven when we die. And having thus given you an Account both of my Calling and Religion; I come now to Perform my promise, in giving you the History of my Life.

The Place of my Nativity was the Imperial Chamber of Great Brittain; my Father being an Haberdasher of small Wares; and had as much to do as most Men of that Calling; And whilst he liv'd, he gave me all that Education that the most Wealthy Citizens bestow upon their Daughters, he keeping me at Board at Hackney-School. And when grown up to Marriageable years I wanted not for store of Sweethearts, and some of them of very good Estates: and yet my Father thought none good enough. But he being one that was a great and zealous Stickler for the Parliament in opposition to the King, and thinking that Charles Stuart (as then they call'd King Charles the Second), would never be Restor'd, laid out his Money in Purchasing of Crown-Lands, having (as he thought) got a mighty Peniworth: But Oliver being dead, and Charles the Second coming in, all his Estate was lost; and he forc'd to abscond; the grief of which soon after broke his heart. My Father being dead, and his Estate lost by the Kings Restauration, my Mother quickly took me from the Boarding-School; and those whom I had scorn'd before, begun now to scorn me as much; my hopes of a good Portion being gone, my Sweet hearts quickly Vanish'd; but being a Young Maid and pretty handsome, an old rich Batchelor that had a kindness for me in my Father's Life-time, (whom both my Father and myself had then deny'd) thinking that in this Ebb of Fortune he might be more Successful in his Suit, again made his Addresses to me; and tho' I had as great an Aversation to him then as ever, yet he was mightily Encourag'd by my Mother; who thought in our decclining State, he might support our Family: And therefore she not only shew'd him all the Countenance he cou'd desire, her self, (for whom indeed he wou'd have been a fitter Match) but also charg'd me likewise to receive him well, for he must be my Husband. And when I told her I cou'd'nt love him, she call'd me Fool, saying, I shou'd Marry him first, and love him afterwards: And when I farther objected our Disparity in Age she answer'd with another Musty Proverb, That 'twas good taking Shelter under an old Hedge; and that it was far better being an Old Mans Darling, then a Young Mans Worldling: And tho' this didn't Satisfie me, yet I soon found I must have him or none; For having been brought up too high to make a working Tradesmans Wife, that Portion now was gone that should have helpt me to a better Husband. And therefore making a vertue of Necessity, I began to be more Complaisant to my Inamorato then I had been formerly; which quickly won his heart to that degree, that in a short time after we were married—And tho the first Night that I went to Bed with him, I was a Maid, and so knew nothing of that which a new Married couple ought to do, more then what Nature dictated; yet I then thought he went about his Business like a Fumbler, and did that little which he did, at such a rate, it had almost as good have been let alone; for what he did, serv'd only to stir up in me greater Desire for what he couldn't do. I found the exercise he offer'd at, had something in it that was very pleasing, which in the heighth of the Encounter I was disappointed in. And I must own, that I found this a very sensible Affliction, and caus'd in me a greater Aversion to my Husband than I had before: And therefore I resolv'd to try what those venereal Recreations were; I had but an imperfect Taste of, as soon as I could get an opportunity.

Nor did I wait long before my good Fortune put one in my hand; For my Husband's Prentice, a handsome brisk young Man (who had but about two years time to serve) I had observ'd was very sweet upon my Maid, who was handsome enough; and having observed that he courted her, I used to watch them, and by that means knew both the time and place of their Courtship; where they used to spend some hours in an Evening when the shop was shut, according as they could find opportunity. By my listening and over-hearing their Amorous Discourse, I perceiv'd he solicited her hard for her last Favours, which she would not consent to; and being resolved to improve this opportunity to the accomplishing my own Desires, having over-heard 'em make their next appointment, when the time drew near, I call'd my Chambermaid down (for she it was that the Prentice courted) and sent her of an Errand at a considerable distance, that she could not be back in two hours time, taking care to see her out of doors my self by a back pair of Stairs, so that I knew the Prentice cou'd know nothing of her being abroad, my Husband very fortunately being absent likewise, I went to the place of meeting my self; and the young couple being accustomed to converse without any Light, as being unwilling to be discovered, I seated my self where my Chambermaid used to do; and the Apprentice coming as usual, came up to me, and caress'd me; whereupon I clap'd my Hand upon his Mouth, as a signal of his being silent, and then embrac'd him very tenderly; and he being extasy'd with this soft Entertainment, which was very pleasing to him, he was so far blinded with his Passion, that he made no farther search, but imagining that his Sweet heart was now come to his Terms he push'd on his design, and met with such a compliance from me which he did not so easily expect; and I must say, That I had not till that Time tasted the delights of Love: For he manag'd his Business with so much Briskness and Vigour, that I was very much pleas'd with the Encounter. When we had both performd our Parts to equal Satisfaction; I caught him about the middle, and told him he shou'd not go, till I knew who he was; for I made him believe I knew him not, and first thought it was my Husband, but happened now too late to find the contrary. My Spark at this was much surpriz'd, and his Amorous Passion exchang'd into Fear; and therefore begging of my Pardon, he told me he took me for the Chambermaid, and desir'd I wou'd conceal what had happen'd, and not ruine him. Well, well, said I, I'll keep your secret; but it shall be on this condition, that you think no more on the Chamber-Maid; and get you to Bed forthwith, otherwise it will be worse for you. And this I enjoyn'd him, lest he should have told the Maid. My Spark was very thankful that I suffer'd him to come off so well, and accordingly went to Bed. The next Morning I paid my Maid her Wage, and turn'd her off, not letting her so much as bid her Lover adieu. After which my young Spark and I us'd to have frequent Rencounters, to each others mutual Satisfaction: And I us'd to supply him with Money for his Pocket Expences, furnishing him always with what he wanted; until at last our kindness for each other was taken Notice of by my Husband; who not being willing to have a Publick Talk made of it, gave him up his Indentures when he had a year and a Quarter to serve.

This was a very sensible Trouble to me; for having been used to those Delights which my Youth and high-feeding requir'd for about three Quarters of a Year, it became very irksome to me to be abridged of 'em. And my Husband being grown Jealous of me, by the familiarity he had observ'd me to have with his Man, after he had turn'd him off, as I have related, gave me this Gentle Reproof:

Wife, you cannot but be sensible that your Familiarity with your Man is become a Town-Talk; I have done what I can to prevent it, by turning him away; but if you don't mend your Manners, and Reform your Life, all that I can say, will be to no purpose. I am afraid you han't been Innocent in this matter: But since what is past cann't be recall'd', I will say no more of that; but I expect for the time to come that you avoid both his and all other suspicious Company: You know I took you without a Portion at a time when your Family was fallen to decay; and I maintain you as well as any Citizens Wife in London; and for you to requite me with being false to my Bed, is not only to be very Dishonest, but highly Ingrateful. And therefore as you expect the Continuance of my Love, pray let me find a Reformation of your Manners.

To this I answer'd him, That 'twas possible that a Free and affable Temper, as mine was, might give too much occasion to those that had no kindness for me, to speak evil of me: And that if to be accus'd, was enough to make one Guilty, it was impossible for any to be Innocent. However, since the Freedom I had us'd had given such occasion of offence, I wou'd take care for the future to walk more Circumspectly, and be more Reserv'd. With this promise, my Husband was very well satisfy'd, and thereupon Embrac'd me very tenderly.

But all this was only like the raking of a few Ashes over live Coals, which in a little time break forth again, and burn more violently. My Husband's Impotency being now about Seventy, grew daily more upon him; and my desires after that due Benevolence he could not give me, still increas'd, so that what he cou'd not do for me, I was under a necessity of getting done elsewhere, And knew no other Person to whom I cou'd repair for a Supply, but he who had so often done it to my own content before: To him therefore I found means to send a Letter, appointing him to meet me at such a Place and Time, which he accordingly did, and there we had that mutual Enjoyment which we both desir'd: And tho' we met thus several times, it was with so much Caution, for fear of a Discovery, that we were often forc'd to change both Time and Place, and take new measures.

One Night above the rest, when I was sure he was engag'd to stay late at the Tavern, I had obliged my Spark to give me a meeting at our House; and had on that Occasion, sent all the servants up to Bed, upon pretence that they must must rise early in the Morning. When they were gone to bed, and all was sure, my Servant enter'd, with all imaginable Privicy and Caution; and then, without much Ceremony, enter'd upon those melting Joys we both so eagerly desir'd, Which we had hardly finish'd, before my Husband (who had dispatched his Business quicker than we had done) knocks at the door; which I no sooner heard, but springing from the Arms of my affrighted Gallant, I took a Sheet out of the Chest of Drawers in the Chamber, and tying it with a Copped Crown upon his Head, I made him look methought just like some Fornicator, a going to do Pennance in a Parish Church, and then turning him into the next Room, I bid him, if my Husband came in thither, (who was a very timerous Man, and almost trembled at the Talk of Spirits) to Counterfeit a Ghost, by which means I wou'd quickly use a Stratagem which shou'd Relieve him without Danger. And as soon as he had put himself into a Suitable Posture, and Plac'd himself in a convenient Corner to play the Devil with my Husband, (in case the Cuckold should come into the Room which he had taken for his Sanctuary) I fram'd a Counterfeit Smile, and let in my Husband; whom I received with very kind words, and gave him a dissembling Kiss or two; and then putting on his Flannel Night Cap, and fetching him his Slippers, which he put on, we went up Stairs together; In the mean time, the Ghost had found a piece of Whiting; which the Maid happen'd to lay there to make the Chimney fire next morning; and this he takes and breaks to pieces, and daubs his Face all over with it, that he then look'd more pale than Death itself; insomuch that even I was almost startled at the first glympse of him. Before my Husband went to bed, he always went into the Dining-Rome to Prayer; which I appear'd as forward for as he, and presently brought him a Cushion, upon which he kneels down, and falls a Praying; not as yet seeing the Ghost: But as he was at Prayer, my Spark endeavouring to get the Weather-Gage of him, that is, the Door: my husband chanc'd to spy him, which so disord'd and affrighted him, that he was ready to sink down. Before he spy'd him, he was praying thus. Thou know'st Lord, there are wicked people in the World, and some of them have wrong'd me very much, but Lord, I hope thou wilt be even with 'em, and let 'em have no rest till they acknowledge it, and make me Satisfaction for all that wrong they have—(then seeing the Counterfeit Ghost, he forgot his Prayer, and cry'd) O Lord, O Lord! What's this? What's this? O Lord! O Lord!—and then rises up, and makes towards the Door, which the Ghost seeing beckens him; at which he cries I won't, I won't, I won't! In the mean time, tho' I knew what the matter was, I run to him, and cry'd, Dear Husband what's the matter? As if I had been frighted; and went to hold him; but he struggled to get from me, crying out The Devil! The Devil! The Devil! Where, where, said I? I see nothing, O 'tis yonder, 'tis yonder, 'tis yonder, says he! See how it stares and beckens to me I see nothing, not I, says I: And with that, the Ghost came nearer us; at which my Husband run into the Bed Chamber, and I after him; and shut the Door to us. By which means my Spark had an opportunity to go out without Discovery. My Husband immediately got into Bed, and cover'd himself over Head and Ears, and then thought he was pretty safe, and charged me presently to put the Candle out: Which I obey'd, and straight went to Bed to him; being well pleas'd I had so cleverly brought off my Lover.

The next Morning, I ask'd my Husband what the matter was that made him so extreamly discompos'd last Night: Why, says he, did you see nothing last Night? Not I, said I, but only you dissorder'd as you were praying: O Love, said he, I saw Death coming towards me as plain as I see you; and I believe I shan't trouble you long; for Death held up his hand and beckon'd to me several times: 'Tis nothing but your Fancy sure, said I, for I saw nothing, 'Tis certain true as you are there: And that you cou'd not see it, makes it more Evident that Death came only unto me. But how do you know, said I, that it was Death, if you did see something? Know! says he, why I knew it very well, and if you'd seen it you'd a said of it as I do: For never any thing look'd more pale in the World. The very thoughts of it frightens me still—Besides the kindness that contrivance did me to make way for my Gallant's escape that time, 'twas very serviceable to me afterwards; for the Remembrance of the Ghost was always so fresh in my Husbands memory, that he wou'd never venture into the Room again by Candle-Light. So that my Love and I had other Assignations afterwards: and if my Husband happened to come home before he went, it was but putting him into the Dining-Room and he was safe enough, for I was sure my Husband never wou'd come there.

Thus I advantage of his Weakness made, Who was by Fear to Cuckoldome betray'd And upon all Occurrences, I still Contriv'd to blind his Eyes, and Act my Will: For those in their Design will often fail. That know not how with ev'ry Wind to sail.

But after some time my Gallant fell Sick, and in the midst of his Sickness, he was very much troubled with Qualms of Conscience for his Sins, and had no more Wit and Honesty but to send me a Letter to acquaint me with it, and to exhort me to repent; Which Letter my Husband happening to receive, all our Intrigues were thereby discover'd; which made my Husband absolutely relinquish me; and turn me out of Doors with much Disgrace. Which yet could not at all reclaim me, for by my Husband's exposing me, I was past shame, and car'd not what I did: But being in a very good Garb, and having some Money, I took me Lodgings, and walk'd the Streets at a Night, picking up whom I cou'd get.

Once I remember going along Cheapside, late at Night, a Citizen in a very good Garb, coming up to me, Madam, said he, will you accept of a Glass of Canary? I thank'd him, and went with him to the Bull-head Tavern; where he call'd for a Bottle of the best Canary; which being brought, after two or three Glasses a piece, and as many more Kisses, he began to take up my Petticoats; and I seeming a little coy, putting of 'em down, he grew more eager; and was for a little diversion upon the Tavern Chairs; and whilst he was eager in finishing what he was about, I began to dive into his Fob, which I found well furnished with Guineas, besides a Gold-Watch, which I took out, and look'd upon it, and put it up into his Pocket again very carefully; and this I so often repeated, telling him I was a Person of Quality, and that what I did, with respect to the Liberty I allow'd him, was only for the Gratification of my Youthful Fancy, and as for any thing of filthy Lucre, or bring a mercenary Creature, I did both scorn it, and was much above it: All this by the Richness of my Garb, he was apt enough to believe; and therefore was the less upon his Guard; but I beginning now to be reduc'd, (not having my Husband's Bag's to go to, as I us'd to have) thought he ought also to pay for the Pleasure he receiv'd from me, as well as I formerly us'd to pay my Gallant for the Pleasure I receiv'd from him; and therefore taking Twenty Guineas out of his Pockets, and telling them before his Face, I pretended to put them all in again; but had cunningly convey'd them into my own Pocket, and told twenty mill'd Shillings into his; and also taking out his Watch again, as I had done several times before, I convey'd the Watch into my own Pocket, and the Case only into his: As we were just a parting, that I might come off with more Credit, I bid him feel in's Pocket, and see he had his Watch and all his Guineas; and clapping of his hand upon his Thigh, and feeling the Case, he said he had: I further ask'd him if he had all his Guineas, and bid him tell 'em; and he putting his hand in's Fob he told twenty, (which he took for Guineas, his Silver being in another Fob) and told me I was very honest, he was sure he'd all; and then desir'd to know my Name and where my Lodgings were; that he might wait upon me some other time, and have the like enjoyment; which I seem'd to desire as much as he, greatly commending his performances (tho' to speak Truth, his Will was better far than his Ability, and his Gold Watch and Guineas much exceeded either, for he was one of them which we call Antiquated Whoremasters) and so to satisfie him, I gave him such Directions as sent him to the other End o'th' Town, to seek a Needle in a Bottle of Hay.

Thus the Rich Cuff of's Gold and Watch was Chous'd: Whilst I therewith in Racy Wine Carous'd 'Tis fitting that such Dablers shou'd be caught And by their Losses to Repentance brought: Who will not say I serv'd him in his Kind? For he had that to which he had most mind. And since his Watch has left its empty Place, I leave, him to bemoan his own light Case. For he may now by dear Experience say, Time oftentimes unknown will Slip away.

The next Week after this, I was pick'd up by a brisk Spark, who likewise had me to the Tavern, and seeing me in a rich Garb, (and tho' I say it, tolerably handsome then) was very civil to me, and treated me with much respect, giving me a good Dish of Fish for Supper, which with good Store of Wine, serv'd as a fit Provocative for that which follow'd after. But before we began those Pleasures to which the Treat was but an Introduction, he flung me down a Guinea, and told me he design'd that for a pair of Gloves for me; which when I seem'd unwilling to accept of, as looking somewhat mercenary; No, Madam, says he, this is what I freel'y offer, and cann't therefore be thought mercenary: But now you talk of that, I'll tell you a good Jest was put last Week upon a Friend of mine, a Linnen-Draper, who 'tho he'd so much Holland of his own, wou'd needs be taking up of other Folk's. For this old Cuckold-Maker being got Fluster'd, and something late out one Night the last Week, picks up a Gentlewoman and has her to the Tavern—(and so repeated the whole Story I before have told you, Madam; with this addition, which but for him I never shou'd have known). That when the old Fornicator was come home, he had a severe Lecture from his disgruntl'd Lady, who told him he had either been asleep or worse; for that it was near two a Clock. But the old Cuss thinking to pacifie her Anger by convincing her it wan't so late, wou'd needs go look upon his Watch; but quickly finding that altho' the Nest was there, the Bird was flown, put up the Case again, with only saying, Good lack a day! How strangely time will slip away in Company, before a Man's aware! But the next Morning being to pay a Merchants Man a Bill for a small parcel of Hambrough-Cloth that came to 22 Guineas, and his Cashier going to reach the Money, he put his hand into his Fob, Hold (says he to his Man) I have Twenty Guineas here, and I can make them up in Silver, and so flings his Supposed Guineas down upon the Counter; But was exceedingly surpriz'd to see that they had lost their Colour, and were all White instead of Yellow. However at the present he stifled his Resentments, and told his man that he must fetch the Money out of the Till, for he remember'd now he had paid away all his Guineas. Presently after which, (says my Gallant, that told the Story to me) he came to me, and I perceiving him extreamly out of humour, ask'd what the matter was? Never was Man, says he, so Trick'd as I have been last Night. For being out somewhat late, says he, and somewhat Fluster'd, I pick'd up a small Girl, which I thought was the honestest that ever I met with, but she has prov'd the veriest Jilt that e'er I had to do with, and Trick'd me out of a Gold Watch and Twenty Guineas. And then, said he, related all that I have told you; and bid me besure to have a care of them that wou'd pretend they were not mercenary, for they'll be trebly paid for what they do. But you, Madam, said he to me, look like a Gentlewoman above such shifts as those. If you respect me, Sir, said I, you have the Remedy in your own hands; and therefore if you please I will withdraw. No, Madam, by no means, says he, I only told you this Story to divert you, Madam: In short, we soon agreed; for he was much a Gentleman, and perform'd what he undertook to my great Satisfaction; and I (or else he flatter'd me) gave him as much content.

But 'twas not always I had such good Luck, for not long after, I met with one, who tho' he appear'd very well to sight, gave me more than I car'd for; and more than I cou'd rid my self on for a great while after. 'Twas then, Madam, by taking Mercury, and using Salivations, to be rid of that unwelcome Guest, the Pox, that I lost all that Beauty which I once cou'd boast of. And then, as one misfortune seldom comes alone, my Husband, whilst I was in this condition, dy'd; who while he liv'd, allow'd me some small Maintenance; but hearing on his Death-Bed the Misfortune that had then befallen me, he became so exasperated against me, he only left me Twenty Shillings to buy a Coffin for me, as thinking I shou'd ne'er Recover; whereas before, as I have since been told by the Executors, he design'd at least a hundred Pounds for me.

The great Expences of my Sickness (which had besides made me unfit for Business) had brought me pretty low; and I was now quite destitute of any other way to help my self but the old Trade of Whoring; and yet I was afraid of being now a Common Night-walker, lest I shou'd meet with such another Job as I had met withal before; which wou'd have ruin'd me to all Intents and Purposes: But by a Friend of mine, that had been a Well-wisher to the calling, I was advis'd, as much the safer way, to list my self as a Retainer to a Private Vaulting School; where I was told (and indeed found it so) that there were none admitted but what were Sound and Tight. To this, altho the Gains to me was less, yet since there was less hazard of the Pox, I thought it best to hire my self: And this Madam, was such a House as now I keep my self. Where we don't only take special care, that none but what are free from all Distempers be admitted; but likewise have Surgeons and Apothecaries with whom we are in Fee, who, if we but suspect the least miscarriage, straight give us something that may carry't off.

Here I continued for some time: and tho I say't, behav'd my self so well, that I was prefer'd to the best Gentlemen; for tho, my Natural Beauty had been much decay'd, yet I by Art so patch'd it up again, that I by my good Management, pass'd for a Maid at first to all that didn't know me: And besides what my Mistress got, I am sure I had ten Guineas given me by an Esquire for parting with my Maiden-head; which I had parted with many years past; and yet I sold it to new Customers several times after.

During the time that I was in this Station, I met with several odd Adventures; some of which I shall briefly give you an account of.

Having been one day abroad, my Mistress desired me to call at the Carriers, to see if there was any young Country-Lasses come to Town (for our calling is not to be carried on to advantage without now and then having fresh Goods) I went to that purpose to Bosom's Inn; and had that day drest up my self like a Country-Lass that I might with the less difficulty engage 'em. But when I came thither, I found there was none: While I was asking the Carrier when I might expect any, I saw a couple of young Gentlemen standing near me, as if they had some Business with the Carrier when I had done; which occasion'd me to make the more haste: As soon as I had left the Carrier and was come away, before I was got into St. Lawrence Lane, they over-took me, and ask'd me if I was not a Lancashire Maid? I told 'em Yes; being resolv'd to know what their design was. Then they ask'd me what part of Lancashire? I told 'em Preston; for I was acquainted with the Names of the chief Towns there. They then desired me to go and take part of a Glass of Wine with them; which I at first seem'd to scruple, but being more importunately urg'd, I was easily perswaded. And so went to the Feathers-Tavern near Queenstreet Corner in Cheapside; where a Glass of Canary being call'd for, one of 'em drank to me, and I drank to the other. After which one of 'em came pretty close up to me, and would needs have been feeling where I was'nt willing to let him, whereupon I told him he was very uncivil to invite one that was a Stranger to a Tavern; and then to offer any such thing to her. Let her alone says the other, I believe she's but new come out of the Countrey, and does not understand the way of the Town: Pray, Sweet-heart, says he, addressing himself to me, How long have you been in Town? Ever since last Fryday, said I: But pray, why do ye ask? To be plain with ye, says he, This young Man and my self have a Request to you, which if you grant, may be for your Advantage as long as you live: Pray, Sir, said I what's that? Why, says he, we are both Apprentices in one House, at a Linnen drapers in Cornhill? (but 'tis no Matter for that, for you don't know Places yet) and we have a mind to keep a young Woman between us; and we wou'd willingly have a Countrey-Maid, that is'nt much acquainted with the Town; and if you please, you shall be she. I presently smoaked their design, but behav'd my self as ignorantly as I cou'd on purpose, because I found there was something to be got by 'em. So I reply'd, Withal my heart, Sir, if we can agree, for I want a good Service. Well, says the other Spark that wou'd have been so forward with me, We shan't disagree, I dare say. What Wages do you ask? Why Sir, says I, I have liv'd in good Gentlemens Houses in Lancashire; and I think I deserve Four pounds a Year. Well, well, says the other we shall give you Four times Four pounds a year and more: But then you must do what we'd have you. Yes, said I, I shall be willing to do what you'd have me, if you please to tell me what it is: Why said he, your Business will be Easie enough, and pleasant enough: For we intend to take a very good Lodging for you, and provide you with all things necessary; and your Business shall only be to lie with one of us one Night, and the other another. The chief thing we shall desire of you, is only to keep your self entirely to us, and not stir out without our Approbation. And for other things you shall have what you will, and be maintain'd like a Gentlewoman; For we'll maintain you; and the Money you shall have, shall be for your own Occasions, and to find you New Cloths. Well, Sir, says I, for such things we shou'd not differ; but we in the Country think 'tis a Wicked thing to lye with Folks, unless they be Married; and then they mun be married but to one nother: And so that mun not be, Sir. I know not what you do in the Country, says one of the Sparks, but here in London 'tis as common as Washing of Dishes. And People of the best Quality do it. Look ye, continued he, to Encourage you, we will give you Thirty Pounds a Year: And Maintain you besides. We cou'd have enow in Town to serve us, and thank you too; but we look upon you to be an Innocent Country Maid, and for that reason we had rather have you than another: Are you sure you are a Maid, said the other? Sure! said I? Yes, I think I am. Yes, yes, said the other, I believe she is: But I believe, said I, You but taak'n all this while, for no Body mun do such things. No, I'll assure you, says the more serious of the two, We are in Earnest; and we'll pay you down half your Money, fifteen Pounds now, to put your self in a good Garb, fit for a Gentleman's Mistress. But what mun I do for't, said I? Let's agree upon that first. You shall be Mistress to us both, said they: And let one of us lye with you one time, and the other another: And we'll now go along with you, and take a Lodging for you; and you shall go under the Notion of our Sister, and we will be your Brothers; And so no Notice shall be taken of it.—But not to trouble you longer, Madam, with the Particulars, we at last agreed the matter; and I had fifteen Pounds paid me down for half a Years Pay: And my two Sparks cast Lots, to decide the Important Controversie of who should lie with me first: And it happened to him that was the most Civil of the Two; And he was to tarry with me till Ten a Clock at Night, at my New Lodgings, and then to go home, for he cou'd not stay all Night. So to it we went, and I gave him all the Satisfaction he desir'd; counterfeiting the matter so well, that he was mightily pleased with the Enjoyment he had: And went home very well satisify'd; telling me, he wou'd acquaint his fellow-Prentice that was to come the next Night, that he had found me all Love and Charms. And so took his Leave of me.

When my young Gallant was gone, I began to consider that I had all I was like to have of 'em: and that one Fool was enough to be troubled with; and since they had paid me but one half of my Salary, and for that one of 'em had enjoy'd me, & had what he wanted, I tho' we were pretty even. And so getting up Early the next Morning, I left at once my Lodgings and Gallants. And at night when the other came, (as without Doubt he did instead of Meeting with me,) I left him this Note in the Key-hole,

For your small Stipend, I'll ne'er liv in Goal, Go seek a Trull that can divide her Tayl: One half I've Pleas'd, I one half am Paid: Had I got all, I shou'd have longer Staid. And yet you cann't say I was Ungenteel, For I let one Kiss and the other Feel.

How pleas'd the disappointed Fop was with my Poetry, I know not; for I ne'er went again to my New Lodging to enquire after 'em.

Well, said the Goldsmiths Lady, I ne'er heard of a prettier Intrigue before and I dare say you serv'd 'em very handsomely.—But pray proceed.

Another time, I serv'd a Goldsmith's Prentice a pretty Trick; For having been abroad about some business, and coming home i'th' evening, a young Spark, exceeding Beauish, (with a New Modish Suit of Cloaths on) that had been drinking hard all Day, would need be picking of me up, when I did'nt at all intend it. But seeing him so earnest for a Bout, that I cou'd'nt get rid of him, I had him to a House I was acquainted with by th' way, and there after a heartening Cup or two, and having handled his Posteriours, to see he didn't put a Trick upon me, I let him have what he so eagerly desir'd; and diving into his Pockets i'th' mean while, I found he had but one poor single Shilling left; which vext me so, that I resolv'd I wou'd be even with him another way; and therefore when he had done what he'd a mind to do, I presently call'd briskly for a fresh Bottle of the Best, which whilst we were drinking, I said Well, Spark, as a Reward for your excellent Performance, which has been beyond my Expectation, and shew'd you to be a good Womans Man, I will divert you with an Entertainment worth your Seeing. Come, it shall cost you nothing; only I must beg the Favour of you to unrig, and lend me your Cloaths for half an hour; and I will bring you a Mant and Petticoat to wear the while; and you shall see a Jolly Crew of Active Dames, which will perform such Leacherous Agilities as will stir you up to take the other Touch, and far out-vie whatever has been either done, or related to be done, by Madam Creswel, Posture Moll, the Countess of Alsatia, or any other German Rope-dancer whatever. The Spark was extreamly tickled with the Fancy, and presently uncas'd himself; and gave me all his Bravery, and was so over-forward, that he not only gave me his Cloaths, but his Rings, Cane, and Hat, and Wig; so that he left hinself nothing but his Shirt and his Stockings; and the Mistress of the House being my Friend, I borrowed of her an old Mant and Petty-coat; which the Fool of a Fop put on. I told him I must intreat his Patience for half an hours time, till the Company was Drest, and so went down Stairs; and telling of my Friend how it went, and we being to go half Snips in the Booty, I went off with the things, which I pawn'd for about four Pounds, keeping his Rings to my self, and left my Landlady to manage the rest. After the Disrobed Spark had waited for the space of an hour with great Petience, and longing Expectation, for this Comical Show, and no Body came at him, his Patience was quite tir'd, and therefore knocking with his foot, the Maid of the House came up, of whom he enquired for such a Person, as well as he could, describing me. The Maid pretended an intire Ignorance of the matter, and so whipp'd down Stairs again. But he knocking again, up comes the Mistress, who seeming to take him for a Woman, ask'd him, What he would have? He answer'd, Such a Woman to whom he'd lent his Cloaths; but she not only made her self Ignorant of the matter, but call'd him Bitch, Whore, Cheat, Pick-Pocket, and all to nought, concluding her Harmonious Harrangue in this manner, Ye dirty Drab, don't think to put your Cheats upon me: You came in here with a Spruce Young Man, and for ought I know you have Pick'd his Pocket, and sent him away, and now you go about to Cheat me of my Reckoning; but that shan't do ye Whore, for I'll have my Reckoning quickly, or else I'll Strip your Gown off your Arse; but the poor Rogue having no Money to pay, she forthwith stript him of his Mant: And thus half Naked, in a Petticoat slit up to the Breeches; an old broken pair of Stays, and a few Ragged Head-Cloaths, he was kick'd down Stairs into the Street. And being willing to know the end of this Comical Adventure, I had planted one to watch what he did: Who followed him at a distance till he went into an Alehouse in Foster-Lane, where my Spy went in after him, and called for a Pot of Drink; and there heard him tell a Lamentable Story how he was robb'd by some Foot-Pads (as he came from Hampstead, where he had been to see his Uncle) who had stript him of all his Cloaths, and given him those things to cover his Nakedness: The People of the House compassionated him very much, and lent him a Suit of Cloaths, Hat and Wig, with which he went to his Master's, who was a Goldsmith, and liv'd at the sign of the —— in Cheapside.—And I appeal to you Madam, whether he wasn't serv'd in his kind.

I think, reply'd the Goldsmiths Lady, you are very happy and Ingenious in all your Contrivances; and for ought I know, might have contributed more to reclaim him from those Courses, than all the Lectures and Sermons that could have been Preached against 'em; for one wou'd think he should have but little Mind any more to those Sweet Meats which were attended with such sower Sauce—But pray go on with the Story of your Life.

Madam, said she, having continued for many years with my Mistress, where we kept very good orders, and liv'd in Reputation also among our Neighbors, for we went constantly to Church, not only to make a shew of being Religious, but to expose ourselves to the view of the Gallants: For our Mistress or Governess always ordered us to follow her, and to take all opportunitiss, as we came down Stairs from the Galleries, or as we past over the Kennels in the Streets, to lift up our Coats so high, that we might shew our handsome Legs and Feet, with a good fine Worsted or Silk pair of Stockins on; by which means the Gallants would be sure either to dog us 'emselves, or else to send their Footmen to see where we liv'd, and then they would afterwards come to us themselves. By which means we have got many a good Customer. And when we came home from Church, we generally, if we had none of our Gallants with us, spent our time in reading of Play-Books, that we might know the better how to entertain our Guests with witty Discourses. Having, I say, spent several years in this calling, and got some Monys by me, our Mistress happened to Die; and I finding the Decays of Nature come upon me, and that I began to grow unserviceable, I bought the Goods and Furniture my self, and so kept others under me, as my Mistress had done before me. And drove that Trade in the same House (which was in St. Thomas Apostles) for many years, and might have been there still, had it not been for one Unfortunate Accident, which I'll next relate to you.

One Day a Gentleman in a very good genteel Habit, knocks at my Door, which I open'd my self, and ask'd him what he'd have? Upon which, coming in a Doors, Madam, says he, I understand that you are a Person Charitably Disposed, and do now and then help a Languishing Lady, or a Love-sick Gallant: And therefore I took this Opportunity to Salute you, hoping that you will shew the same kindness to me, that you have done to others upon the same Considerations.—Sir, said I, you must give me leave to ask you some Questions before we enter into any further conversation—With all my heart, Madam, said he:—Then, said I, Pray who recommended you to me, on that account? I hope you don't take me for a Bawd? Nay, Madam, said he, pray don't affront me; Neither do I look like a Porter, common Soldier, or Lacquey, so as to stand in need of a Bawds Assistance: Nor am I one of those who will take up with what the Street affords: For I assure you I don't eat Baked Pudding or Apple-Pye at Holbourn-Bridge, or such other Places, as common Carmen do. Nor, to be plain with you, Madam, said he, am I one of those Fellowes that usually Dine at any Greasie Ordinaries; and therefore I am for something fit for a Gentleman, and will pay accordingly. Very well, Sir, says I: I hope you will take nothing amiss; I see you are a Gentleman; but I have sometimes had Tricks put upon me, and therefore am as choice in the company I entertain, as you are in keeping your Company. Upon which account be not angry if I repeat my Question, Pray who recommended you to me? To which he reply'd, Madam, I thought you had not been so very scrupulous at this time of Day, when Money is so very scarce. But seeing you press me to it, I know that you help'd Esq; —— to a very fine Mistress.—The Gentleman he Named, being one I was well acquainted with, and whose Necessities I had often supply'd with some of my First-rate-Frigots, as he used to call 'em; I had no more mistrust of him; and therefore taking him to be a Friend of his: Nay, now, said I to him, you begin to speak Sense. Be pleased to go along with me; and so lead him into a Room which joyn'd to my Parlour that was hung round with Pictures; representing all the Amours of Ovid's Heathen Gods; and amongst them were intermix'd several of those Ladies of Pleasure I kept in my House, drawn in very amorous and inviting Postures; One with her Golden Tresses dishelv'd upon her Shoulders & her Brests Naked; another was drawn putting on her Smock, a third tying her Garters, and a Fourth in the Arms of her Gallant: When he had well looked round about him, Madam, said he, I perceive you have Entertainment to provoke the dullest Appetite; and if you have really the Original of these Pictures, I don't much wonder that you insist upon good Terms. Therefore pray let me know what you expect to Oblige me with the dishelv'd Golden Locks. Sir, said I, my lowest is a Guinea in hand, and a Guinea a Week for the Accomodation of my House; and taking care that you may have her ready for your use, so long as you continue my Pensioner: But as for her own Terms, I leave that to your self and her—But, said he, may I not see the Person first, that I may be satisfied the Painter has not flatter'd her? Yes, Sir, said I, provided that you don't spend too much time before you come to a Conclusion.—Leave that to me, said he, for you shall be no Looser: Whereupon I slipt out of the Room, and call'd one Mrs. Gertrude (which was the Person he desir'd) who came in immediately; and going up towards the Gentleman, he desir'd her to sit down; and as I was a with drawing he call'd to me likewise, and told me he must discourse with us both, before he enter'd into any further Familiarity; and then, addressing himself to Mrs. Gertrude, said, Well, my pretty Madam, what Gratification do you expect for your Company per Week? She answer'd him, Two Guineas: But, said he, What assurance, Madam, shall I have that you will be my Sole Property during the time that you and I agree upon? And that you will not dispence your Favours, likewise to others? Nay, Sir, said I to him, if you intend to Monopolize her wholly to your self, you must raise your Price, or we cannot else Maintain our selves like Gentlewomen; and afford Accommodations fit for Gentlemen. Well, Ladies, said he, I will now pull off my Mask: You have both confessed your way of Living to me, and I have discover'd your Crimes, without being Criminal my self: And therefore not doubting but both of you pretend to be Christians, for I am told you go constantly to Church, I adjure you by his Name whom you profess, to tell me how you can answer it to him, or to your own Consciences, to Live in downright Disobedience to his holy Laws, and in defiance to the known Laws of the Land? With much more Preachment to the same Purpose, too long to repeat. I must Confess both my self and Mrs. Gertrude, were both struck with some Amazement at this unexpected Entertainment; And seeing her a little daunted, I answer'd, Sir, I shall quickly bring you those that will give you better Satisfaction. And so rise up to call in a couple of Men-Servants belonging to my House. Upon which he rise up likewise, and catching me by the Arm, pull'd out a short Constable's Staff, Commanding me to sit down, or otherwise I should find it was in his Power to take another Course with me. This indeed increas'd my surprise, and made me a little mute for the Present; which he seeing, got between the Door and us, and then was so uncivil as to tell me, That I was a Vile Woman; and all the difference he knew between a Bawd and a Procurer, was only such as was between a common Tom-Turd-Man, and a Person of Qualities House-Maid, who Emptied Close-Stools: And then told Mrs Gertrude that the difference between her and the Trulls that pli'd in the Streets, was no other then betwixt a common Vau't and a Private Close-stool. Upon which she told him that his Comparisons were very odious; and that such Language didn't become a Gentleman: But he answer'd, That our Language wanted words to express the fulsomeness of our Crimes, calling us Dogs, and Swine, and Goats, and a deal of such Billingsgate-Stuff, till he had so provok'd my Passion, That I told him boldly, That I didn't value his Fanatical Cant, for there were Men of better Sense than he, thought it no Sin; and that I knew the Opinion of the greatest Wits in the Town, in those things; and car'd not what a parcel of Canting Coxcombs said.—To which he reply'd, My Coming hither was to do you good, and to turn you (if Possible) from your Wicked Courses; but seeing you are hardened in it, and will not be reclaimed, I will take care to have your Quarters beat up, and spoil your Trading here for time to come. And so he left us.

This unexpected Adventure put us all to a stand. And after consulting what was best to be done, I resolved not to venture being expos'd, and so immediately with-drew, and took down all my Pictures, leaving only a Servant in the House for some days, to see whether he wou'd be as good as his word: and in three Days after, a Constable came with a Warrant to search the House for disorderly Persons; but finding only a Servant there, he told her he perceiv'd the Birds were flown. The search being over, some of my Women were for returning again; but I oppos'd it, as not judging it safe; and the Event prov'd it so; for the Day they design'd to have gone, there was another Search made, and a strict enquiry after what was become of us? Which made all to commend my Caution and Conduct.

This last Search made us look upon that Place as unsafe to go to again; for I perceiv'd that Disguis'd Constable was a busie Fellow, and wou'd be always Jealous of our Returning again. So I threw up my Lease of that House, and from thence came hither: Where I have continued ever since. And carrying a good Correspondence amongst my Neighbours, I have never been molested here, but when there is any Trade stirring, I have my share of it. And thus, Madam, I have given you the History of my Life hitherto; which I have been more particular in, because of your Civility and Generosity towards me. And if you find at any time an occasion to make use of any Gentleman to supply any Deficiency you may meet with at home, or to gratifie your Inclination with a desire of Change I will be always ready to serve you to the utmost of my Power.

The Bawd having thus finish'd her Narration, the Goldsmith's Lady gave her many thanks, and told her that her Relation had been very diverting to her, But, said she, there is one thing that I have had a mind to ask you two or three times and still forgot it. Pray Madam, said the Bawd, What may that be? For I am very ready to resolve you in any thing I can—That is, reply'd the She-Goldsmith, Whether or no these new Attempts for Reformation be not a very great hinderance to you in your Business? For I am told that some of the Members of the Society put themselves into all Shapes, that they may make a Discovery of such Houses. And I suppose he who disturb'd you at your other House might be one of them. And therefore methinks this should quite spoil your Trade: For as matters are now manag'd, how do you know who to Trust?

To this the Bawd reply'd thus: As to what you say Madam, there is this in it, That it makes us use more Caution than we us'd to do. For we now admit of none into our Houses that are Strangers. But perhaps you may say, That I us'd a great deal of Caution with the other Person who was a Trapan before; which is really true enough; and when he mention'd to me Esq; —— I thought I might very well have trusted him: But I'll tell you how that hapen'd; Esq; S—— had it seems been talking to some intimate Friends of his, of some very pretty Ladies that he had to do withal: For indeed being a good Customer, and paying very well, he had always the Cream of all that came to my House; being very much a Gentleman; and one whom I wou'd be glad to help to your Embraces, if you wou'd do me that Honour, and I am sure you cann't have to do with a Compleater Person, and one better fitted to serve a Woman. You wou'd, make me have a Mind to him, reply'd the Lady: Well, Madam, said the Bawd, ere it be long, I'll bring you two together. But, as I was a saying, he having told some intimate Friends of his, that he had the enjoyment of a very fine Lady: said one of 'em, Prithee Esq, who is't that helps you to these fine Ladies that you talk of? Upon this, not doubting but they wou'd keep his Counsel, he told 'em 'twas I that help'd him, upon such occasions; and one of these Gentlemen told another of his Comrades in the hearing of the Disguis'd Constable, who made that use of it I have already told you. But now, to prevent the like accidents, we admit no Strangers, unless they bring a Letter from the Person they are Recommended by, and therein an Account of the last time they were here. By which means we are very secure; and tho' the Society for Reformation, as they call it, does utterly Ruine all such as are Publick Houses of Assignation, yet our Trade is rather made the better by it; because here they may meet without Danger of being Exposed, as a Worthy Gentlewoman had like to have been not long ago, which might have been her Ruine, had she not fallen into the hands of Gentlemen.

Pray how was that, said the Goldsmith's Lady?

It is a Story worth your hearing, reply'd the Bawd; and if you please I'll give you the Relation of it, as I had it from one of the Gentlemen concern'd therein. You will Oblige me very much; answer'd the Lady. Whereupon the Bawd thus began.

It happened that two Gentlemen belonging to the Army (of which the one was my Particular Acquaintance, and a good Customer to my House) taking Water at the Still-yard, was minded to divert themselves upon the River, by going up to Chelsie-Reach; where they sometimes met with pretty Ladies proper for their Purpose, But as they were going along, they perceived a very fine Gentlewoman in a rich Garb, in a Sculler, all alone; and also observed that she made the Sculler, who was a good likely Young Man, row her sometimes one way, and sometimes another, without going to any certain Place. This gave 'em occasion to Conjecture that she had appointed some Spark or other to meet her thereabouts, whose coming she expected with some Impatience; as they easily perceiv'd:

For that which frets a Woman most, Is when her Expectation's crost.

After she had near half hour in that manner fluctuated to and fro upon the silver Surges of Thamesis, like one of the Nereides, and found she was disappointed; she bid the Sculler Land her at the Three Cranes, which he accordingly did; and the Gentlemen likewise order'd their Oars to Land 'em at the same Place; and observ'd, after the Lady was Landed, that the Sculler ask'd for his Money, and she bid him follow her; and after he follow'd her into Thames-street, he began to grumble, and told her he cou'd go no further, and therefore he wou'd have his Money; which she wou'd not give him whithout he went wither she was going, telling him she wou'd pay him for his time. This made the Gentlemen dog her, and soon after saw her go into the Three-Cranes Tavern, and the Sculler after her; which the Gentlemen seeing, and (being resolv'd to know the bottom of this intrigue) follow'd them into the same Tavern; and bid the Drawer, if it was possible, let them have the next Room to that which the Gentlewoman had, who came in just before 'em with a Waterman following her: The Drawer told 'em there was Company in the next Room then, but they were paying there Reckoning, and would be gone immediately; and in the mean time desir'd 'em to walk into a Box in the Yard, which they accordingly did; and whilst they sat there, they saw the Waterman go out again. Presently after the Drawer came and told 'em that the Room was now empty, which they forthwith went into, and had the conveniency through a hole in the Wall, to see the Gentlewoman unseen, who sat leaning her Arm upon the Table, in a very melancholy Posture, as one much dissatisfy'd; having a Glass of Wine before her, and Pen, Ink and Paper. Soon after the Waterman comes in again, and tells her the Gentleman had not been at home since Morning, nor did they know where he was. Where's the Note that I gave you, says she? Which he giving her, she took and tore it, and then burn'd it, Then taking the Glass, what's your Name, Waterman, said she? An't please you, Madam, my Name's John: Well, then honest John here's to ye, says she; and drank off her Glass, and made John fill a Brimmer and drink it off. And then John offering to go, she said, No, John, you shan't go yet, I have something to eat, and you shall stay and eat with me: Don't be uneasie John, for I'll pay you well for your time. Presently up comes the Drawer and brings a Lobster and a Piece of Sturgeon, with him; then bidding the Drawer bring a Quart of Canary up, she ask'd John whether he lov'd Lobster and Sturgeon? Yes, very well, Madam, reply'd John, but they are too good for my common Eating. After the other Quart of Canary was brought up, and the Drawer gone down, she bid John come nearer and sit down; and at last having both eat and drank Plentifully, she pull'd John close to her, and told him he look'd like a clever well-made Fellow, and ask'd him, if he did'nt think himself capable of doing a Ladies Business? which put John so much out of Countenance he did'nt know what to say to her: Upon which, first Embracing the Dull Fool in her Arms, Come, says she, let's see how well you're furnish'd: And then putting her Hand into his Breeches, John began to think she was in Earnest, and made as bold with her; giving her what she wanted; and then calling for another Quart of Wine, and having drank and repeated their Amorous Embraces two or three times, she gave John a Guinea; and told him she lik'd him so well, that she would go by Water with him that day Sennight; and charg'd him to meet her then at five a Clock, at Paul's Wharf; and she wou'd then give him such another Treat. Which John promis'd her to do, and so went away very well Satisfied. The two Gentlemen who (unseen of her) had seen and heard all those Passages; were resolv'd to make a further Discovery of the Gentlewoman and so dogg'd her home to her own House, which happen'd to be at a Woollen-Drapers in St. Paul's Church-Yard. Having thus seen her at her own House they left her, and went to their own Lodgings.