"Hands, make sail! Let go the bow-lines! Round in the weather braces! Mast-head, there! let me know when the strange sail is right ahead!"

Then leaping on the hammocks, and resting his glass against the after-swifter of the main-rigging, he swept the horizon impatiently for the stranger. Meanwhile, the rattling of the chairs, capstan-bars, match-tubs, and shot-boxes, gave token of the rapid demolition of our nautical church. The studding-sail booms shot out like spears from the yard-arms, and the sails which these spars were to expand hung dangling and flapping in the air, as if the canvas had been alive, and joined in the eagerness of the chase; while the ship herself, trembling fore and aft under these fresh and spirit-stirring impulses, dashed away at the rate of ten and a-half knots.

Such are the incidents which happen on board single frigates; those rattling, joyous, fly-along, Salee-rover sort of cruisers, which range at large over the wide ocean, scour every coast, and keep the war famously alive. A much more stately ceremonial is observed on board fleets, whether at sea, blockading a port, or lying in harbour. The ships of the different divisions, or squadrons, wait till the admiral hoists at his mizen-peak the signal indicating that Divine service has commenced, the bell is then tolled in each of the other ships, the usual pendant is displayed, and the first article of war is complied with, not only to the letter, but often, we may hope and trust, fully up to the spirit. I have heard many clergymen declare that they never beheld any congregation in which more attention and decorum prevailed than in our ship churches.

At sea, both in fleets and on board single ships, the afternoon of Sunday is generally a season of rest and quietness; but in harbour it is frequently the most annoying period of the whole week. There is nothing for the men to do, and the time hangs terribly heavy on their hands; to which it must be added, that our ships are too often infested by some of the vilest contaminations of the shore. Bad as these influences are, at any time or place, I believe they may he considered at their worst when they come afloat; so that whenever it can possibly be done without injury to the service, portions of the ship's company should be allowed to go on shore in turn, albeit their proceedings when "on liberty," as they call it, are none of the most commendable. But we must let that pass. In foreign ports, however, this indulgence is frequently impossible; and in cases when the people cannot be permitted to land, the different men-of-war in company are sure to send boat-loads of visitors, or what are called "liberty men," on board one another's ships, to pass the afternoon of Sunday. This practice is the very bane of good discipline, and ought at all times to be discouraged in every way; for it almost inevitably leads to drunkenness, rioting, and bitter heart-burnings. It has, moreover, the effect of making the men discontented with their own ship and their own officers. The sailors are sufficiently sharp criticisers of the conduct of their superiors, even when they have all the facts before them, and the power of observing closely, and from day to day. But when they pass on board other vessels, and interchange exaggerations over an extra pot of grog, the mischievous consequence is certain; for each of the parties is likely enough to break up the visit miserably discontented, and to return under a thorough conviction that, while everything done in their own ship is wrong, all the officers are either foolish or tyrannical, or both. If there must be ship-visiting, let it be on week days, and in the morning; but, clearly, the less the better; and most assuredly it ought never to be allowed on Sunday evening.

FOOTNOTES:

[5] It would have gratified Captain Hall if he had lived to see that some of the changes for which he pleads so earnestly are being adopted, and that the best hands in the navy are now retained as continuous service men.



CHAPTER XII.

NAVAL RATINGS AND SEA PAY.

MUSTERING CLOTHES.

The dinner-hour on Sunday is noon, the same as on other days; but there is this distinction, which ought to mark the afternoon in every well-regulated ship, the people are never disturbed between twelve o'clock and four, unless some particular service occurs which cannot without impropriety be deferred. It is customary during the rest of the week to turn the watch up at one o'clock, but on Sunday, if possible, the people should be left alone: to be idle if they choose it, or to read, or otherwise to employ themselves according to their own fancy. This, after all, is but a trifling indulgence, which hardly ever puts the captain or officers to any inconvenience. Even if it did, what would it matter? The interests of the country will not be worse attended to in the long-run for an occasional relaxation of strict etiquettes and formal observances. Even if the ship be making a passage, and that, in strictness, all sail ought to be carried, no eventual loss will ever attend such very trivial abatement of speed; for the men will probably be far more active in making and shortening sail at other times, when their minor comforts are thus regarded, than when treated as if they had no feelings to be considered.

The circumstance which most distinctly marks the afternoon of Sunday on board a man-of-war, even more than on land, is the absence of all the usual stir caused by the multifarious occupations of the artificers and crew. Indeed, the lower deck of a man-of-war on Sunday afternoon, between dinner time and the hour of tea, or evening grog, a cast of idleness is the most characteristic feature. Groups of men may be seen sitting on the deck chatting over very old stories, a few are reading, and many are stretched out flat on their backs fast asleep, or dosing with their heads laid on their arms on the mess-table. But the habit of locomotion amongst sailors is so strong, that there are always numerous parties walking on the main deck in pairs, or in threes and fours, along a short space, backwards and forwards, although there seems no reason why their walk should not be twice or thrice as long. Both sides of the forecastle, too, and the lee-gangway, are generally filled with these walking philosophers, as they may in truth be called; for they enjoy the hour that passes, and are ready to take whatever comes in good part. The weather-gangway is usually left for the occasional transits of that most restless of mortals, the officer of the watch, who, as in duty bound, is eternally fidgeting about the trim of the sails, and must often step forward to the chestree, from whence, while resting his foot on the tack-block of the mainsail, he may cast his eye aloft to detect something to alter in the position of the head-yards. Or if he hears any noise in the galley, or even on the lower deck, he can walk forward till he is able to peer down the fore-hatchway, by stooping under the bows of the boat on the booms. Most of this fidget probably arises, not so much from any wish to find fault with what is wrong, as to maintain what is right. The true preventive service of an officer is to interpose his superintending vigilance between the temptation, on the part of the men, to err, and their first motion towards offence. Were this principle fully acted up to in all ships, how rapidly might not our punishments subside!

At four, or half-past four in the afternoon, the merry pipe to supper awakes the sleepers, arrests the peripatetics, and once more clusters young and old round the mess-table. At sunset the drum beats to quarters, when the men's names are carefully called over, and the sobriety of each ascertained. Other duties may be intermitted on the day of rest, but not that of the guns, which are minutely examined, and all their appendages got ready every evening with as much earnest care as if the ship were that instant sailing into action. A moment's reflection, indeed, will show that there can, of course, be no difference in this respect between Sunday and any other evening. Then come in succession the following routine orders, and their correspondent evolutions:—"Reef topsails!" "Stand by the hammocks!" "Pipe down!" "Roll up the cloths!" "Call the watch!" "Pipe the sweepers!" And thus, at last, the first day of the week at sea, in a man-of-war, is at an end.

In old times, I recollect, the fashion was for the men to press aft in a disorganised crowd; but of late years the following more appropriate and orderly arrangement has been universally adopted. The men are distributed in a close double row round the quarter-deck gangways and forecastle, each standing in his place according to the order of his name on the Open List. A small table is then brought up, on which are spread the muster-books; and the captain's clerk, who is the only person seated, begins calling over the names. Each man, as his turn comes, pulls off his hat, smooths down his hair, and passes over from the lee side of the deck to the weather side, stepping across the gratings just before the binnacle. The captain stands to windward, so that the men advance directly up towards him, and then pass forward in review. By this means, not only the captain, but the officers, who, of course, are all present, become better acquainted with the men, learn their names, and ascertain their respective ratings and merits. The first lieutenant plants himself at the captain's elbow to furnish such general information as may be required, or to appeal for more minute details to the other lieutenants, warrant-officers, mates, or midshipmen, as the case may be.

The captain avails himself of this public opportunity of telling any of the men that they have been advanced a step on the books since the last muster; and if these intimations be given without parade, and in good taste, they afford great satisfaction to the people, though it may often happen that the changes of rating are almost nominal. It is a great point gained in all discipline, if the persons we wish to influence can be made duly sensible that their merits and exertions are not neglected. It is obvious, too, that if giving a man a higher rating be a source of encouragement, to disrate him may readily be used as a means of punishment. I remember, in the Lyra, on my way home from China, in 1817, that the captain of the foretop, a fine active lad from North Shields, got into some scrape, not quite bad enough to bring him within the reach of the terrible gangway, but close to it, and I was rather perplexed how to chastise the offender. The first Sunday in the month was close at hand, so I waited till this man's name was called, and then, after a suitable lecture, desired the clerk, in the hearing of the whole ship's company, to change his rating to that of able seaman from captain of the top. The poor fellow looked bewildered, and, instead of passing on when another name was called, stood stock-still half-way across the deck.

"Don't you hear?" I said; "you are no longer captain of the foretop, you are disrated on the ship's books."

I then turned to the clerk to see the entry properly made; but on looking again at the disrated seaman, I observed, to my astonishment, that he was in tears!

I certainly had not reckoned upon such a scene; but it at once flashed upon me that here was an opportunity of gaining two important points. The first and most obvious of which was to secure this particular man's future good services by enlisting all that was hearty in his nature at the instant of its strongest expression; and the next, to avail myself of the circumstance to stamp a still higher degree of importance in the eyes of the men than before upon the value of these ratings. I therefore instantly called out to the clerk to stop his pen; and then addressing the man, in a voice loud enough to be heard by all the crew, said, I was quite sure any one who felt so sensibly the degradation implied in the loss of rank which he had just incurred was never likely to expose himself again to such a risk. I should therefore not only give him back his former rating, and replace him in his station as captain of the top, but assure him that all trace both of his offence and its punishment should from that moment be entirely forgotten.

It is hardly within the range of popular explanation to show in what particulars the different shades of technical merit consist, by which many of these ratings are awarded. The letters A.B., which mean Able Seaman, are placed against the names of those only who are thorough-bred sailors, or who, in sea phrase, can not only "hand, reef, and steer," but are likewise capable of heaving the lead in the darkest night, as well as in the day-time; who can use the palm and needle of a sail-maker; and who are versed in every part of a ship's rigging, in the stowage of the hold, and in the exercise of the great guns. Of course, an A.B. must be able to pull an oar, as well as use it in sculling, understand the management of a boat under sail, and know how to cross a surf. He must also learn the art of placing an anchor in a boat, in order to its being laid out; and how to get it in again when weighed. In these, and twenty other things which might be pointed out, he ought to be examined by the boatswain and other officers before his rating of A.B. is fully established on the books.

The higher ratings of quarter-master, gunner's mate, captain of the forecastle and of the tops, and so on, are given chiefly to men who may not, in fact, know more than every Able Seaman is supposed to be acquainted with, but who have recommended themselves by their superior activity and vigilance, and have not only shown themselves fit to command others by their decision of character, but evinced a sincere anxiety to see the work of their department well performed. It is of great consequence to assist in every way the authority of these leading hands over the other men stationed in the same part of the ship; and judicious officers will generally be able to avail themselves to great purpose, in moments of trial, of the energetic co-operation of these persons. Much of the internal, or what may be called domestic, discipline of the crew, depends upon the conduct of these men; for each mess has one of them at its head, who is held more or less responsible for the behaviour of the people in that knot or party. I have, however, known some officers exact a great deal too much from these captains of the messes, and expect them to become spies and informers against their companions; or, which is just as unreasonable, hold them fully answerable for all delinquencies committed in their part of the ship. This is cruel; because, although they undoubtedly may contribute materially towards the maintenance of good order, they cannot, by possibility, do more than act as assistants to the first lieutenant, and chiefly by explaining to the rest of the people what is required of them. Most men in the long-run, and perhaps in all ranks of society, but certainly on board a manof-war, find it so much more agreeable in every respect to do what is right than what is wrong, that when they come distinctly to know what is wanted, they almost invariably set about executing it cheerfully. The first grand point, therefore, in the ship's discipline, after a system has been adopted which shall be consistent in all its parts, is, to let the details of this system be thoroughly understood by every one on board. When a good plan has been once fixed upon, and the officers are vigilant, patient, and exact in their own personal conduct, and the leading men have been made fully acquainted with what is required, the rest of the crew will be but too happy to do their duty manfully and well, without the instrumentality of the lash, except in extreme cases.

In former times, the distinctions amongst ratings of the seamen on the ship's books were so few that it was impossible to discriminate correctly, or to assign to each man, with any justice, the exact rating which his knowledge of seamanship, his experience in the exercise of that knowledge, his general good conduct, and his abilities, might entitle him to. An Order in Council, dated November, 1816, established a new system of Ratings; and by another Order, dated the 23rd of June, 1824, "the net sea pay of the flag-officers of His Majesty's fleet" was established, "together with the net sea pay and number of their retinue; the number of commissioned, warrant, petty, and non-commissioned officers, and the ratings of every description both of seamen and marines, allowed to each class of His Majesty's ships, with their rates of net sea pay respectively; and distinguishing the several classes for sharing the produce of seizures."[6]

As soon as the ship's company have been mustered, the captain takes off his hat and reads the Articles of War, to which, out of respect to this important act of parliament, the people listen in like manner uncovered. Between breakfast and divisions, some captains occupy themselves in examining the weekly reports of the expenditure of boatswain's, gunner's, and carpenter's stores; and in going over with the purser the account of the remains of provisions, fuel, and slop-clothing on board. After which he may overhaul the midshipmen's log-books, watch, station, and quarter bills, or take a look at their school-books. If the ship be in harbour, he also glances his eye at their accounts; and he generally takes occasion to indulge in a little kindly gossip about their mess, their love of the sea, and the last letters they received from home.

Thus the gallant skipper, as well as his gallant crew, has seldom much spare time on his hands during the forenoon of Sunday. I should be right glad, indeed, to be informed what day, or hour, or even what half-hour, in the whole week, from end to end, the captain can fairly call his own. Not one! Every other person on board has his hour, or his four hours, or his eight hours of rest, and of relief from all anxiety; but the poor captain has not a minute. He is the chief over all, it is true; but he pays dearly and deeply for this distinction in the shape of heavy responsibilities, and perpetual trials of various kinds. Our poet says, "uneasy lies the head that wears a crown"—I am quite sure that unburdened never lie the shoulders that wear two epaulettes. The captain is at all calls, and must be ready at all seasons with resources, good or bad, to supply the failures or indolence of others; while his own fate, fortunes, and character, as well as the credit of the service, and sometimes that of the country, are made to hang upon the instantaneous nature of his decisions, and upon the vigour and efficiency of his exertions, at moments perhaps when his powers are nearly exhausted, and his spirit all but crushed by sheer fatigue. The simple enumeration of a captain of a man-of-war's ordinary responsibilities, I have often thought, would win for his class a degree of considerate forbearance, and candid allowance for his difficulties, which, perhaps, it has never yet fairly received from the public. If, to such enumeration, a notice respecting the duties of each were appended, an interesting peep might be afforded to the curious of the internal government of our singular community, and information supplied on not a few points, respecting which most people are entirely ignorant.

It is frequently the practice in the navy on Sundays to muster clothes at divisions, and to take a list of what slops are required by the men to complete their kit, or stock of worldly goods. This overhaul or inspection happens once a month; and when such is the intention, the word is passed along the lower deck at breakfast-time, that the ship's company are to "muster clothes at divisions." When the drum beats, each man brings his bag to the place where he stands in his division, and proceeds to arrange his things in order on the deck before him, each article being placed separately, that the officer may count, and, if he pleases, examine them, after the mates and mids have first called over the names, to ascertain that every man has the proper complement of articles, in good order, and well washed. A note is then taken of what things are wanted, in the way of slops, to supply worn-out and condemned clothes. "Slops" is the technical name for jackets, trousers, shirts, and other articles of a sailor's wardrobe, before they have been used. They are sent on board in bales and boxes by government, and placed in charge of the purser.

All this is reported in detail to the lieutenant of the division, who continues walking backwards and forwards while the inspection is going on, ready to answer appeals in the event of any difficulties or doubts arising. He carries in his hand a complete list of his division, and of each man's clothes; and when the young gentlemen under his orders have finished their work, and taken down what is wanted, the lieutenant goes along the line to investigate the whole anew. He then collects the different memorandums of slops wanted, and proceeds to make his report to the captain, who either sanctions or disapproves of the decision of the officer, as he pleases. Frequently the captain himself goes along the divisions, to look at the men's clothing; but the glance which he takes is necessarily of a more cursory nature; his object is, to let the men feel that he is ready to interfere, if need be, but also to show, that, unless there is any special call for the interposition of his authority, he confides in those under him.

A commander should recollect, that, whether it be he himself, or chiefly his officers and crew, who perform any useful public service, he invariably reaps at least his full share of the credit. His real interest, therefore, must always be, not merely to draw about him the ablest men he can induce to follow him, but to allow them the utmost latitude of independent action and responsibility, and as much of the merit of success as possible. If he persevere sincerely in this course, he will soon discover that the more he endeavours to remove the credit from himself, or, rather, to divide it handsomely with those who are acting with him, the more will he generally find the merit given back to himself.

I suspect few people have the smallest notion of what a sailor's wardrobe consists. Every one has, indeed, a vague idea that he must have a blue jacket and trousers, and a low, canvas, shining sort of affair, stuck on one side of his head, and called by him a hat. But of any further particulars, the shore-going world really knows about as little as they do respecting the dresses of the Emperor of China. Honest Jack, it is very true, is not much encumbered with clothes; and too often his wardrobe sadly resembles that of the Honourable Mr. Dowlas, which was so easily transportable in the Honourable Mr. Dowlas's pocket-handkerchief. Yet if he have the opportunity, poor fellow, and be duly encouraged, he is not a little of a dandy in his way.

In a well-regulated ship, a sailor's kit consists generally of at least two blue jackets, and one pea jacket, which is a sort of lumbering shaggy surtout, or curtailed great-coat, capable of being wrapped round the body, so as to cover the thighs. Why it is called a pea jacket I should be glad to be informed by any knowing person; and I beg leave accordingly to refer the question to that corner of the United Service Journal reserved for technical queries, a valuable niche in that ably conducted periodical. A seaman must also have two pairs of blue trousers, two pairs of shoes, six shirts, four pairs of stockings, two Guernsey frocks, made of a sort of worsted stocking-work, without any opening in front; two hats, two black handkerchiefs, and a comforter to wrap round the throat; together with several pairs of flannel drawers and waistcoats; for in hot, as well as in cold climates, and at all times of the year, the men are now encouraged, as much as possible, to wear flannel next the skin.

The above forms the kit of a sailor in a ship stationed in high latitudes. On the Mediterranean station, or on that of North America, there is such a mixture of severe and mild weather, that a larger stock is necessary than when the ship is employed exclusively in a cold, or in a hot climate. On the Indian, South American, and West Indian stations, which lie almost entirely between the tropics, woollen clothing gradually disappears, and the men are apt to suffer a good deal on returning to colder regions; it being hardly to be expected that folks of such improvident habits as sailors will be able to take care of articles of dress, for several years together, for which they have no immediate use.

I remember a captain, whose ship had been often exposed to these alternations, amusing his people very much on entering the tropics, by directing them to roll up all their blue clothes, worsted stockings, and so on, in neat bundles, each having the name and number of the person it belonged to written on a wooden tally, and fastened to it. These being all collected, and packed carefully in well-dried, watertight casks, were stowed away in the hold, and forgotten, till the pinching blasts off Cape Horn made the unpacking of the casks a scene of as great joy as ever attended the opening of a box of finery at a boarding-school gala.

In warm climates, the stock of a man-of-war sailor consists of four duck frocks, which are more like shirts than anything else, with sundry strings, and touches of blue binding about the breast and collar, which is generally lined with blue, and allowed to fall over the shoulders. It is totally contrary to Jack's habits to have anything tight about his throat; and one of the chief causes of his invincible estrangement from the royal marine corps is their stiff-necked custom of wearing polished leather stocks. I hardly suppose there could be found any motive strong enough to induce a genuine sailor to buckle a permanent collar round his neck with any tolerable grace; the alternative of the yard-arm would almost be preferable! His delight is to place a black or coloured silk handkerchief lightly over his neck, and to confine its ends across his breast by means of one of the small bones or vertebrae of a shark, which forms a neat, white, perforated cylinder. Some very prime dandies of the mizen-top fold a part of their handkerchief over the shoulders and back; but it requires the aid of a handsome person, and a good deal of modest assurance, to make this tolerable.

They must also provide themselves with four pairs of duck trousers, a straw hat for fine weather, and a canvas or beaver one for squalls, though this need not be insisted on. Shoes are not much used, except by those whose work lies aloft; and prudent hands generally keep a blue jacket by them, in case of rain or night-work. It is not a bad rule to muster the crew occasionally with blue jackets, even in hot weather, to see that such things are really in existence. Each man has, of course, a bed, a pillow, and two blankets; sheets are never heard of. He has also two hammocks, one of which is slung and in use, the other scrubbed, dry, and stowed away, ready to be exchanged for the dirty one. The hammocks, at the time I first went to sea (1802), were made of a coarse brown stuff, which it was difficult, if not impossible, to make white by any amount of scrubbing; and, what was worse, so thick that it was by no means easily dried. Now-a-days, they are generally made either of canvas, or of a twilled sacking, and, when spread out, measure 4-1/2 feet by 3-1/2; but when lashed up, and ready for stowing away in the netting, they form long sacks, about as big as a man's body, but not tapering to the ends.

In ships where much pains is taken to have the hammocks stowed properly, they are lashed up, so as to preserve the same width all along, and with neither more nor fewer than seven turns with a well-blacked small lashing, carefully passed round at equal intervals. When the hammocks are prepared in this way, and all made of the same size, (which condition may be secured by putting them through a ring of given dimensions,) they are laid in symmetrical order all round the ship, above the bulwark, on the quarter-deck and forecastle, and in the waist nettings along the gangways. Each hammock, it may be mentioned, has a separate number painted neatly upon it on a small, white, oval patch, near one of the corners; so that, when they are all stowed in the nettings, a uniform line of numbers extends round the ship, and the hammock of any man who may be taken ill can be found by his messmates in a moment. The bags, in like manner, of which each person has two, are numbered separately. In rainy weather the hammocks are securely covered by painted cloths.

As a seaman's kit generally forms his whole property, it ought to be carefully preserved, and every possible facility given that the service will allow of for his keeping it in good order. A captain of any consideration will naturally bear in mind, that, as the comfort and health of the men under his command depend most materially upon the manner in which they are clad, and especially upon the damp or dry state of their dress, it becomes an important branch of his duty to see that their things are taken care of with as much exactness as the spare sails, cordage, or provisions. It much too frequently happens, however, that the unfortunate sailors' clothes are more torment to them than advantage, and they may think themselves lucky if they can catch hold of a jacket or trousers to shift withal, so eternally are they interfered with by some inconsiderate officers. "Pipe the bags up!" "Pipe the bags down!" "Stow the bags afresh!" "Pipe to scrub the bags!" and twenty such orders are given in a day in some ships, to the endless misery of the people. It is, no doubt, necessary that the bags should be scrubbed and stowed properly, and be piped up and down at the proper times and seasons. But there are two ways of doing these things: one, which gives the men no more trouble than is absolutely unavoidable; the other, which harasses and justly provokes them. It is not enough to say that they must submit, whether they like it or not. They will submit, it is true; but in what temper? and how will these men work when called upon to exert themselves, if they are habitually treated with disrespect, and exposed to needless, and even impertinent worry? I have even heard of some crack ships, as they are termed, where the poor devils are obliged to pipe-clay their bags, to make them look white, forsooth! Why, the very idea of pipe-clay is gall and wormwood to the taste of the Johnnies. Of late years I understand there have been introduced black painted water-proof bags, which are a great comfort to the men. Besides keeping out wet, they require no trouble to scrub and dry, and, after all, are fully as clean, and far more useful in every respect.

To show the various sorts of outfit which the men composing a man-of-war's crew may be furnished with on first coming on board, I shall describe a scene which took place on the Leander's quarter-deck, off the Port of New York, in 1804. We were rather short-handed in those days; and being in the presence of a blockaded enemy, and liable, at half-an-hour's warning, to be in action, we could not afford to be very scrupulous as to the ways and means by which our numbers were completed, so that able-bodied men were secured to handle the gun-tackle falls. It chanced one day that we fell in with a ship filled with emigrants; a description of vessel called, in the classical dictionary of the cockpit, an "Irish guinea man." Out of her we pressed twenty Irishmen, besides two strapping fellows from Yorkshire, and one canny Scot.

Each of this score of Pats was rigged merely in a great coat, and a pair of something which might be called an apology for inexpressibles; while the rest of their united wardrobe could have been stowed away in the crown of any one of their hats. Their motives for emigrating to a country where mere health and strength of body are sure to gain an independent provision were obvious enough; and I must say, that to this hour I have not been able to forget the melancholy cry or howl with which the separation of these hardy settlers from their families was effected by the strong arm of power. It was a case of necessity, it is true; but still it was a cruel case, and one for the exercise of which the officer who put it in force deserves almost as much pity as the poor wretches whose feelings and interests it became his bounden duty to disregard.

In most admired contrast to this bewildered drove of half-starved Paddies stood the two immense, broad-shouldered, high-fed Yorkshiremen, dressed in long-tailed coats, corduroy breeches, and yellow-topped boots, each accompanied by a chest of clothes not much less than a pianoforte, and a huge pile of spades, pick-axes, and other implements of husbandry. They possessed money also, and letters of credit, and described themselves as being persons of some substance at home. Why they emigrated they would not tell; but such were their prospects, that it was difficult to say whether they or the wild Irishers were the most to be commiserated for so untoward an interruption. Be this as it may, it cost the clerk half-an-hour to write down a list of their multifarious goods and chattels, while a single scratch of the pen sufficed for that of all the Irishmen.

At last honest Saunders came under review. He was a tall, raw-boned, grave-looking personage, much pitted with the smallpox, and wearing a good deal of that harassed and melancholy air, which, sooner or later, settles on the brow of an assistant to a village pedagogue. He was startled, but not abashed, when drawn to the middle of the deck, and asked, in the presence of fifty persons, what clothes and other things he possessed? Not choosing at first to betray his poverty, he made no answer, but looked round, as if to discover where his chest had been placed. He then glanced at his thread-bare sleeve and tattered shoon, with a slight touch of dry and bitter humour playing about the corners of his mouth, and a faint sparkle lighting up his grey and sunken eye, as he returned the impatient official stare of the clerk, who stood, pen in hand, ready to note down the items.

"Don't be frightened, man," said the captain; "no one is going to hurt you, your things are quite safe. What does your property consist of?"

"A trifle, sir, a trifle," quoth poor Sawney; "fourpence ha'penny and an auld knife!"

Before concluding this subject, it may perhaps be useful to remark, that, unless in those cases where such a measure is absolutely necessary, the actual examination and minute recording of the men's clothes might, in general, be advantageously dispensed with. I have, indeed, occasionally fancied I saw traces of irritation and wounded pride amongst the men, when all their little knick-knacks, every hat, hose, and handkerchief, or old shoe, was examined into and noted down, to be reproduced that day month, or its absence accounted for. I tried a middle course in my own ship, which appeared to answer all the purposes required. From time to time the men were ordered to bring their bags to divisions, and to spread out their clothes to air on the deck, over the guns, along the hammock-nettings, or in the rigging. In this way the officers and mids, who passed repeatedly up and down the line, had opportunities enough, if they did their duty, to see that all the clothes were clean, dry, and in good order. When any man's things were observed not to be in the condition demanded by the regulations of the ship, or he was found ragged in his clothes, or not properly dressed, then such delinquent was no longer indulged with the exemption, but had his kit subjected to a daily, or weekly, or monthly scrutiny, as the case might be. As long as he was in this predicament, he was obliged to exhibit every article in proper condition, and was not at liberty, without asking leave, to destroy even such worn-out things as an old Jew clothesman would turn up his beard at. I took care that no part of this surveillance should be talked of as a punishment, although, unquestionably, it was intended and felt as such; but studied rather to give it the character of a necessary duty in the instance of individuals who, if not so watched, would, by their misconduct, hurt the general discipline of the ship. It was very seldom that any one exposed to such drilling for a month or six weeks ever brought himself within the range of its humiliation a second time.

FOOTNOTES:

[6] CLASSES AND DENOMINATIONS OF HER MAJESTY'S SHIPS.

1. Rated Ships, viz.:—

First Rate.—All Three-decked Ships.

Second Rate.—One of Her Majesty's Yachts, and all Two-decked Ships whose war complements consist of 700 men and upwards.

Third Rate.—Her Majesty's other Yachts, and all such Yachts as may bear the Flag or Pendant of an Admiral or Captain Superintending one of Her Majesty's Dock-yards; and all Ships whose complements are under 700 and not less than 600.

Fourth Rate.—Ships whose complements are under 600 and not less than 400.

Fifth Rate.—Ships whose complements are under 400 and not less than 250.

Sixth Rate.—Ships under 250.

2. Sloops and Bomb-Vessels; all such as are commanded by Commanders.

3. All other smaller Vessels; such as are commanded by Lieutenants or inferior officers.



CHAPTER XIII.

SAILORS' PETS.

A dog is the most obvious and natural pet for a gentleman; but still, a dog, with all his familiarity, is a selfish sort of companion, for he generally bestows his whole sociability either upon his master, or his master's servant who feeds him, or upon his master's friend who accompanies him to the fields. To all others he is not only cold, but often surly and impertinent. This, indeed, would matter little, if there were not unfortunately a proverb extant, which has led perhaps to more squabbles, duels, and other uncharitableness, than most other causes of dispute. This pugnacious proverb, "Love me, love my dog," being interpreted, signifies, "If you kick my dog, I kick you." Then follows, if not the kick, words which hurt honour quite as much, and in the end too often draw away the life-blood of warriors who, but for some mangy cur, might have fought themselves into companionship in public usefulness and fame with "Duncan, Howe, or Jarvis."

No dog, therefore, can ever become a very general favourite of the crew; for it is so completely his nature to be exclusive in his regards, that were a whole pack of hounds on board, they would not be enough, nor afford a tenth part of the amusement which a single monkey serves out to a ship's company. I take good care, accordingly, never to be without one in any ship I command, on the sheer principle of keeping the men employed, in a good humoured way, when they chance to have no specific duty to attend to. It must be recollected that we are often exposed to long periods of inaction, during which mischief is very apt to be brewed amongst the people.

But if a good monkey be allowed to run about the ship, I defy any one to continue long in a bad humour. Jacko is an overmatch for the demon of idleness, at least if light hearts and innocent diversions be weapons against which he cannot long contend. Be this as it may, I make a rule of entering a monkey as speedily as possible after hoisting my pendant; and if a reform takes place in the table of ratings, I would recommend a corner for the "ship's monkey," which should be borne on the books for "full allowance of victuals," excepting only the grog; for I have observed that a small quantity of tipple very soon upsets him; and although there are few things in nature more ridiculous than a monkey half-seas over, yet the reasons against permitting such pranks are obvious and numerous.

When Lord Melville, then First Lord of the Admiralty, to my great surprise and delight, put into my hands a commission for a ship going to the South American station, a quarter of the world I had long desired to visit, my first thought was, "Where now shall I manage to find a merry rascal of a monkey?" Of course, I did not give audible expression to this thought in the First Lord's room; but, on coming down-stairs, I had a talk about it in the hall with my friend, the late Mr. Nutland, the porter, who laughed, and said,—

"Why, sir, you may buy a wilderness of monkeys at Exeter 'Change."

"True! true!" and off I hurried in a Hackney coach. Mr. Cross, not only agreed to spare me one of his choicest and funniest animals, but readily offered his help to convey him to the ship. "Lord, sir!" said he, "there is not an animal in the whole world so wild or fierce that we can't carry about as innocent as a lamb; only trust to me, sir, and your monkey shall be delivered on board your ship in Portsmouth Harbour as safely as if he were your best chronometer going down by mail in charge of the master." Accordingly he was in a famous condition for his breakfast next morning, when the waterman ferried him off from Common Hard to the hulk, on board which the officers had just assembled. As the ship had been only two or three days in commission, few seamen had as yet entered; but shortly afterwards they came on board in sufficient numbers; and I have sometimes ascribed the facility with which we got the ship manned, not a little to the attractive agency of the diverting vagabond, recently come from town, the fame of whose tricks soon extended over Portsea; such as catching hold of the end of the sail-maker's ball of twine, and paying the whole overboard, hand over hand, from a secure station in the rigging; or stealing the boatswain's silver call, and letting it drop from the end of the cat-head; or his getting into one of the cabin ports and tearing up the captain's letters, a trick at which even the stately skipper can only laugh.

One of our monkey's grand amusements was to watch some one arranging his clothes bag. After the stowage was completed, and everything put carefully away, he would steal round, untie the strings, and having opened the mouth of the bag draw forth in succession every article of dress, first smell it, then turn it over and over, and lastly fling it away on the wet deck. It was amusing enough to observe, that all the while he was committing any piece of mischief he appeared not only to be under the fullest consciousness of guilt, but living in the perfect certainty that he was earning a good sound drubbing for his pains. Still the pleasure of doing wrong was so strong and habitual within him, that he seemed utterly incapable of resisting the temptation. While thus occupied, and alternately chattering with terror, and screaming with delight, till the enraged owner of the property burst in upon him, hardly more angry with Jacko than with his malicious messmates, who, instead of preventing, had rather encouraged the pillage.

All this was innocent, however, compared to the tricks which the blue-jackets taught him to play upon the jolly marines. How they set about this laudable piece of instruction, I know not; but the antipathy which they established in Jacko's breast against the red coats was something far beyond ordinary prejudice, and in its consequences partook more of the interminable war between cat and dog. At first he merely chattered, or grinned contemptuously at them; or, at worst, snapped at their heels, soiled their fine pipe-clayed trousers, or pulled the cartridges out of their cartouch-boxes, and scattered the powder over the decks; feats for which his rump was sure to smart under the ratan of the indignant sergeant, to whom the "party" made their complaint. Upon these occasions the sailors laughed so heartily at their friend Jacko, as he placed his hands behind him, and, in an agony of rage and pain, rubbed the seat of honour tingling under the sergeant's chastisement, that if he could only have reasoned the matter, he would soon have distrusted this offensive but not defensive alliance with the Johnnies against the Jollies. Sometimes, indeed, he appeared to be quite sensible of his absurd position, caned by his enemy, and ridiculed by his friends, in whose cause he was suffering. On these occasions, he often made a run, open-mouthed, at the sailors; in return for which mutinous proceeding he was sure to get a smart rap over the nose from his own party, which more than counterpoised the anguish at the other extremity of his person, giving ludicrous occupation to both his hands, and redoubling the shouts of laughter at his expense. In short, poor St. Jago literally got what is currently called monkey's allowance, viz. "more kicks than halfpence."

In process of time, as Mr. Monkey, by dint of that bitter monitor, experience, gained higher knowledge in the art of marine warfare and ship diplomacy, he became much more formidable in his attacks on the "corps," and generally contrived to keep himself well beyond the reach of the sergeant's merciless ratan. One of the favourite pranks of the sailors was to place him near the break of the forecastle, with a handspike, taken from the bow-chaser gun, in his paws. It was quite as much as he could carry, and far more than he could use as a missile against the royals; but he was soon instructed in a method of employing it, which always grievously annoyed the enemy. Theoretically, I presume poor Jacko knew no more of the laws of gravitation, than his friends, the seamen, did of centrifugal action, when swinging round the hand-lead to gain soundings, by pitching it far forward into the water; but both the monkey and his wicked associates knew very well, that if a handspike were held across the top of the forecastle ladder, and let go when a person was about half-way down it, the heels of the said individual would be sure to bring up, or stop the bar. The unhappy marine, therefore, who happened to be descending the steps when Jacko let his handspike fall, generally got the skin taken off his heels, or his instep, according as his rear or his front was turned towards the foe. The instant Jacko let go his hold, and the law of gravitation began to act, so that the handspike was heard to rattle down the ladder, off he jumped to the bow of the barge, overlooking the spot, and there sat, with his neck stretched out, his eyes starting from his head, and his lips drawn back, till his teeth, displayed from ear to ear, rapped against one another like a pair of castanets in a bolero, under the influence of the most ecstatic alarm, curiously mixed up with the joy of complete success. The poor wounded Gulpin, in the mean time, rubbed his ankles as he fired off a volley of imprecations, the only effect of which was to increase the number of his audience, grinning and laughing in chorus with the terrified mischief-monger.

I remember seeing a marine, of more than usual activity, and who had before been served this trick, catch hold of the end of the weather middle stay-sail sheet, hanging from the booms, and, before Jacko knew what he was about, succeed in giving him such a cut across his sconce as the animal never forgot or forgave. Next morning the monkey stowed himself away behind the pumps, till the same marine passed; he then sprung out, and laid hold of him by the calf of the leg; and, in spite of sundry kicks and cuffs, never once relaxed his jaws till the teeth met amongst what the loblolly boy, in the pride of his anatomical knowledge, called the "gastrocnemii muscles" of his enemy's leg. The cries of "murder!" from the soldier, brought the marines and many of the sailors under the half-deck to the poor fellow's rescue; while the author of the mischief scuttled off among the men's feet, chattering and screaming all the way. He was not again seen during two or three days; at the end of which, as the wounded "troop" was not much hurt, a sort of truce was proclaimed between the red and the blue factions of the ship. Doubtless the armistice was all the better kept in consequence of some tolerably intelligible hints from the higher powers, that the peace of the ship was no longer to be invaded to make sport for those who were evidently more idle than they ought to be, and for whom, therefore, a little additional work might possibly be found.

Old Jacko, however, like one of the weaker states of Europe, whose fate and fortunes are settled by the protocols of the surrounding political giants, was no party to these treaties; and having once tasted the joys of revenge, he could not keep his teeth quiet, but must needs have another bite. Upon this occasion, however, he kept clear of the corps, and attacked one of his oldest and dearest friends, no less a personage than the captain of the foretop. It was in warm weather, and the men, as usual, were dining on the main-deck; the grog had been served out, and the happy Johnnies were just beginning to sip their darling beverage, when Mr. Mischief, incessantly occupied in his vocation of wrong doing, and utterly incapable of resisting any good opening to get himself into a scrape, saw the grog-kid of the captain of the top's mess standing by the fore-hatchway. So he paced round, as if seeking for a bit of bread, but all the while keeping his face turned just so far from the fated grog-vessel that no one suspected his design. On reaching the spot his heart began to fail him, but not his wickedness; indeed, his was the very beau ideal of that character described in the satire of Junius, which, "without courage enough to resist doing a bad action, has yet virtue enough to be ashamed of it." Whether or not these mixed motives influenced old Jacko, I cannot pretend to say; but there he sat chattering, screaming, and trembling, as if the sergeant's cane had been within an inch of his hide.

"What ails you, my dear Mr. St. James?" said the captain of the top, playfully addressing the monkey. "What are you afraid of? Nobody is going to hurt you; we are all sailors and friends here, man. Not a marine within hail of you!"

At this stage of the colloquy the sly rogue having mustered all his energies, fairly grasped the grog-kid in his arms, and, making a clean spring from the deck, placed himself, at the first bound, beyond the reach of the horror-stricken seaman. This exploit was not so adroitly performed as it might have been if Jacko had been less agitated, and one-half of the delicious nectar in the sailor's cup was jerked out.

"You bloody thundering rascal of a monkey!" bellowed the astounded topman; "let go the kid, or I'll shy this knife at your head!"

The threat was no sooner uttered than executed; for the sailor, without waiting to see the effect of his summons, threw the knife; and had not his saintship ducked his head, there would have been an end of monkey tricks for that cruise. As the glittering steel passed before the wicked scamp's eyes, the flash deprived him of all recollection of the mischief in hand: with a loud yell he leaped on the booms, and in his terror let the prize slip from his grasp. It fell on the cooming of the hatchway, hung for one instant, and then dashed right down into the fore-cockpit, to the infinite astonishment of the boatswain's yeoman, a thirsty soul, and familiar with drink in all its shapes, but who declared he never before had tried grog in a shower-bath.

Up started the enraged party of seamen on their feet. "All hands catch monkey!" was the cry; and in ten seconds the whole crew, including the cook with his ladle, and his mate with the tormentors in his hand, were seen scrambling on deck. Jacko scampered like lightning up the main-stay, and reached the top before any of the men, who had mounted the rigging, were half-a-dozen ratlines above the hammocks. The officers rushed to the quarter-deck, naturally fancying from the bustling sounds that a man was overboard; but they were soon undeceived by the shouts of laughter which resounded from every part of the ship, low and aloft.

For a few moments Jacko sat on the main-cap, chattering at such a rate that, had it been dark, one of the men said, you could have seen the sparks of fire from his teeth. I do not quite believe this; but certainly I never witnessed such an expression of fear. A dozen men were soon pouring into the top, while two others were stealing up the stay, and four or five had got into the topmast-shrouds, to cut off his retreat in that direction; finally, an active fellow leaped from the rigging to the topmast, and sliding down the well-greased spar, almost plumped on the devoted head of this master of the revels. It was now absolutely necessary for Jacko to do something; so he made a clear run down the main lift to the lower yard-arm. The gunner's mate foreseeing this manoeuvre, had sprung to guard his department, and had already lain out as far as the inner boom iron, with a gasket in his hand, and quite certain of catching the chase. Not a bit! "A gunner's mate catch a monkey!" The fable of the Tortoise and the Hare affords but a feeble simile to characterize such a match; and before old Hard-a-weather and his gasket had reached the yard-arm, our nimble Mona had trotted half-way up the leach of the topsail, and was seated as familiarly on the bridle of the maintop-bowline, as if he had been perched on the feathery branch of a cocoa-nut tree, enjoying the sea breeze, in his native island, amongst the beautiful Cape de Verdes.

The sailors were now fairly baffled, and still more so when the expert rogue chose to climb a little higher, and then to walk deliberately along the standing part of the main-topsail brace to the mizen-topmast head; whence, as if to divert himself, or force his pursuers to mingle admiration with their rage, he made a flying leap downwards to the peak haulyards, scampering along the single part till he reached the end of the gaff. There he sat laughing at a hundred and fifty men and boys, employed in the vain attempt to catch one monkey!

Sailors are certainly not men to give up a pursuit lightly; but after an hour of as hard labour as I ever witnessed, they were all obliged to relinquish the chase from sheer fatigue, and poor Jacko was pardoned by acclamation. The captain of the foretop, however, a couple of days afterwards, more out of fun than from any ill-will on the old grog score, gave the monkey's ear a pinch, upon which the animal snapped at his thumb, and bit it so seriously that the man was obliged to apply to the doctor. When this was reported to me by the surgeon, I began to think my four-footed friend was either getting rather too much licence, or that too many liberties were taken with him, so I gave orders that in future he should be let alone. Nevertheless, Jacko contrived to bite two more of the people, one of whom was the sergeant, the other the midshipmen's boy. These were all wounded in one day; and when the surgeon came to me next morning, as usual, with the sick-list in his hand, he was rather in dudgeon.

"Really, sir," said he, "this does seem rather too much of the monkey. Here are no fewer than three persons in my list from bites of this infernal beast."

"Three!" I exclaimed, and straightway got angry, partly at my own folly, partly at the perversity of my pet, and also somewhat nettled by the tone not very unreasonably assumed by the doctor. "Send Black, the quarter-master, here directly." He soon came.

"Don't you take care of the monkey?" I asked.

"Yes, sir, I do. You gave me charge of him."

"Well! and why don't you prevent his biting the people?"

"I can't prevent him, sir."

"No! Then throw him overboard!" I cried—"over with him at once! There he stands, in charge of the corporal and two marines; pitch him right over the lee-gangway. I will not have the ship's company killed and wounded at this rate. Over with him, I say!"

The quarter-master moved off to the lee-gangway, and took the terrified animal in his arms; while, on its part, the poor creature seemed conscious of its approaching fate, and spread out its arms over the seaman's bare breast, as if to supplicate his mercy. The old sailor, who looked mightily as if he were going to melt upon the occasion, cast a petitioning glance to windward every now and then from under the edge of his straw hat, as I paced up and down the deck, still fuming away at the doctor's demi-official reproach. As I saw the fellow wished to say something, I at length asked him whether he had any proposal to make respecting his wicked and troublesome pet. The old man's face brightened up with this prospect of a respite for his favourite; and, after humming and hawing for a minute, he said,—

"It is all owing to these two great teeth, sir; if they were out, he would be as harmless as any lamb."

"I tell you what it is," I replied, catching at this suggestion, "I positively will not have the whole ship's company driven one after another into the sick list by your confounded monkey; but if you choose to draw those wild-boar tusks of his, you may let him live."

Few reprieves were ever hailed at the foot of the gallows with more joy by the friends of a felon than this announcement of a commutation of Mr. St. Jago's sentence was received by his affectionate companions. Even the marines, though constitutionally predisposed against him, were glad of the change; and I heard the sentry at the cabin door say, "I knew the captain had too much regard for the animal to do him an injury."

Injury, indeed! I question whether poor Jacko thought the alternative any favour. At all events, his friends seemed grievously puzzled how to fulfil the conditions of his exemption from a watery grave; for I could perceive a council of war going on upon the lee side of the main deck, as to the best method of proceeding in the affair of the tusks.

"Who'll hold the monkey?" said one.

No answer was made to this. It was like the old story of belling the cat; but there was no Douglas so bold as to try the experiment on Master Jacko, who at any time was a powerful animal, and would, it was naturally inferred, make a tenfold effort when his teeth were the objects of attack.

"Even suppose we could tie the poor unfortunate victim," said the quarter-master, "who knows how to pull out these great big teeth? We might break his jaw in the operation."

There was a long pause.

"I dare say," at length cried one of the party, "that the doctor's mate, who is a good-natured gentleman, would be so kind as to tell us how we can manage this affair."

A deputation of the monkey's friends was accordingly despatched to present a humble petition to the surgeon's assistant, praying that he would be graciously pleased to lend his professional aid in saving the jaw, and perhaps the life, of one of the most diverting vagabonds in his Majesty's service.

Fortunately, the assistant medico was not one of those priggish puppies who, having little professional knowledge to balance their own inherent stupidity, fancy it necessary to support their dignity by the agency of etiquettes alone. He was, on the contrary, a young man of skill, good sense, and right feelings, who cared nothing at all about his dignity when he could be of any use; or rather, who left it to take care of itself, without thinking of anything but his business. To tell the truth, he was so much a lover of his art that he felt secretly tickled with the idea of a new operation, and experienced on the occasion that peculiar pleasure, known, it is said, only to the faculty, when a complicated and difficult case falls into their hands. He had just mixed a glass of grog, after the day's work was done, and was eyeing the beverage with that sort of serene anticipation which the sober certainty of waking bliss is sure to produce, when the deputation made their appearance, having first sent in the boy, whose arm was still in a sling from the bite of the monkey.

"Are you in a hurry?" said the doctor, on hearing the novel petition; for he had nestled himself into the corner of the berth, with one foot on the bench, the other on the table, and his glass of "half-and-half" glowing like amber between his eye and the solitary glim of those profound regions, those diamond mines from which the Hoods and the Hardys of times past and times present have been drawn up to the very tip-top of their profession.

"Yes, sir," replied the spokesman of the party. "There is no time to be lost, for the captain, who is in a great rage, says, if we don't extricate the monkey's grinders, overboard he goes to a certainty."

"Extricate is not the word, you blockhead; extract, I suppose you mean. Besides, I fancy it is not his grinders which the captain has ordered to be removed, but his eye-teeth, or tusks, as they may fairly be called."

"Well, sir," said the impatient seaman, "just as you please, tushes or high teeth, if you'll only be kind enough to come and help us out of this plaguy mess, and save the poor dumb animal's life."

The quick clatter of feet up the ladders gave the signal that the successful deputation were returning to the anxious party assembled between the two guns just abaft the gangway-ladder, and nearly abreast the after-hatchway, and immediate preparations were made for the operation.

While these preparations were going on, the learned doctor had leisure to consider the case more attentively; and it occurred to him that it would be needless cruelty to draw the poor beast's tusks, and therefore he exchanged that too well-known instrument, the dentist's key, for a pair of bone-nippers, with which he proposed merely to break off the points.

"I don't know exactly about that," said the perplexed quarter-master, when the assistant surgeon explained his views of the matter. "The captain said to me, 'Draw those wild bear's tushes out of him;' and I am afraid, if they are only broken, the monkey may still have a chance for going astern."

"Nonsense, nonsense!" interrupted the judicious doctor. "Can you suppose the captain wished that anything should he done to the animal but just enough to prevent his biting the people?"

And, suiting the action to the word, he closed the fatal pincers, and nipped away the ends of the offending tusks, it is to be hoped without causing him any great pain. But although poor Jacko probably did not suffer much, his rage knew no bounds; and no sooner was the canvas unfolded, than he sprang towards the after-hatchway, and catching the sergeant's hand in his mouth, closed his jaws with all his force. Instinctively the soldier's cane was in the air, but a dozen voices roared out, "He can't bite! He has got no tushes left! Don't hit him!" And, sure enough, although Mr. St. Jago gnawed and struggled, he could make no impression on the well-tanned fist of the veteran, but, at length, slunk off quite abashed, amidst the shouts and laughter of the crew.

When the ship came to England, and was paid off, I turned over the monkey to the boatswain, who always remains in the ship, whence he found his way back to his old haunts in Exeter 'Change, after an absence of nearly three years; for happening one day, not long after the ship was paid off, to be in attendance upon a party seeing the wild beasts, one of the monkeys set up such a chattering in his cage, that he attracted the attention of the keeper of the establishment. "That animal seems to know you, sir," said he to me; and upon going nearer, I discovered my old and mischievous friend grinning with delight. I must own, indeed, that my heart smote me a little as I looked at the broken teeth, while the poor fellow held out his paw to catch my hand, in the spirit of perfect kindness and forgiveness.

A far different fate, I am sorry to record, befell another monkey of mine, in another ship, and in a very different quarter of the globe. I was then in command of the Lyra, on the homeward voyage from China, after the embassy under Lord Amherst had been concluded. We touched on our way to Calcutta at the Philippine Islands, and, amongst other live stock, laid in a monkey which had seen the world. He was born, they assured us, at Teneriffe, bred at Cadiz, and had afterwards made the voyage across the Pacific Ocean, via Lima and Acapulco, to Manilla. Our extensive traveller had made good use of his time and opportunities, and was destined to see a good deal more of men and manners, indeed almost to make out the circuit of the globe. This distinguished monkey had a particular liking for the marines, who caressed and fed him, and sometimes even ventured to teach him to play off tricks on Jack, which the sailors promised one day to pay back with interest on the soldiers. In so diminutive a vessel as a ten-gun brig, there is but a small party of marines, merely a sergeant's guard, and no commissioned officer, otherwise I hardly think the following trick would have been attempted.

One Sunday, while going the formal division rounds, I came to a figure which at first sight puzzled me not a little. This was no other than our great traveller, the monkey, rigged out as a marine, and planted like a sentry on the middle step of the short ladder, which, in deep-waisted vessels, is placed at the gangway, and reaches from the deck to the top of the bulwark. The animal was dressed up in a complete suit of miniature uniform, made chiefly of the coloured buntin used for flags with sundry bits of red baize purloined from the carpenters. His regimental cap was constructed out of painted canvas; and under his lower jaw had been forced a stock of pump-leather, so stiff in itself, and so tightly drawn back, that his head was rendered totally immoveable. His chin, and great part of the cheeks, had been shaved with so much care, that only two small curled mustachios and a respectable pair of whiskers remained. His hair behind being tied back tightly into a queue, the poor devil's eyes were almost starting from his head; while the corners of his mouth being likewise tugged towards the ears by the hair-dresser's operations, the expression of his countenance became irresistibly ludicrous. The astonished recruit's elbows were then brought in contact and fastened behind by a lashing, passed round and secured to the middle step of the ladder, so that he could not budge an inch from his position. One of the ship's pistols, fashioned like a musket, and strapped to his shoulder, was tied to his left hand, which again had been sewed by the sail-maker to the waistband of his beautifully pipe-clayed trousers; in short, he was rigged up as a complete sea-soldier in full uniform.

As the captain and his train approached, the monkey began to tremble and chatter; but the men, not knowing how their chief might relish the joke, looked rather grave, while, I own, it cost me no small official struggle to keep down a laugh. I did succeed, however, and merely said, in passing, "You should not play these tricks upon travellers; cast him loose immediately." One of the men pulled his knife from his breast, and cutting the cord which fastened the poor Spaniard to the ladder, let him scamper off. Unluckily for the gravity of the officers, however, and that of the crew, Jacko did not run below, or jump into one of the boats out of sight, but made straight for his dear friends the marines, drawn up in line across our little hurricane-house of a poop. Unconscious of the ridicule he was bringing on his military patrons, he took up a position in front of the corps, not unlike a fugleman; and I need hardly say, that even the royals themselves, provoked though they were, now joined in the laugh which soon passed along the decks, and was with difficulty suppressed during the remainder of the muster.

A day or two afterwards, and while the monkey was still puzzled to think what was the matter with his chin, he happened to observe the doctor engaged in some chemical process. As his curiosity and desire for information were just such as ought to characterize a traveller of his intelligence, he crept gradually from chest to chest, and from bag to bag, till he arrived within about a yard of Apothecaries' Hall, as that part of the steerage was named by the midshipmen. Poor Mono's delight was very great as he observed the process of pill-making, which he watched attentively while the ingredients were successively weighed, pounded, and formed into a long roll of paste. All these proceedings excited his deepest interest. The doctor then took his spreader, and cut the roll into five pieces, each of which he intended to divide into a dozen pills. At this stage of the process, some one called the pharmacopoeist's attention to the hatchway. The instant his back was turned, the monkey darted on the top of the medicine-chest, snapped up all the five masses of pill stuff, stowed them hastily away in his pouch, or bag, at the side of his mouth, scampered on deck, and leaped into the main rigging, preparatory to a leisurely feast upon his pilfered treasures.

The doctor's first feeling was that of anger at the abstraction of his medicines; but in the next instant, recollecting that unless immediate steps were taken, the poor animal must inevitably be poisoned, he rushed on deck, without coat or hat, and knife in hand, to the great surprise and scandal of the officer of the watch.

"Lay hold of the monkey, some of you!" roared the doctor to the people. "Jump up in the rigging, and try to get out of his pouch a whole mess of my stuff he has run off with!"

The men only laughed, as they fancied the doctor must be cracked.

"For any sake," cried the good-natured physician, "don't make a joke of this matter. The monkey has now in his jaws more than a hundred grains of calomel, and unless you get it from him, he will die to a certainty!"

Literally, the quantity Jacko had purloined, had it been prescribed, would have been ordered in these terms:—

Rx Hydrargyri submuriatis, 3ij. (Take of calomel 120 grains!)

This appeal, which was quite intelligible, caused an immediate rush of the men aloft; but the monkey, after gulping down one of the lumps, or twenty-four grains, shot upwards to the top, over the rail of which he displayed his shaven countenance, and, as if in scorn of their impotent efforts to catch him, plucked another lump from his cheek, and swallowed it likewise, making four dozen grains to begin with. The news spread over the ship; and all hands, marines inclusive, most of whom had never been farther in the rigging than was necessary to hang up a wet shirt to dry, were seen struggling aloft to rescue the poor monkey from his sad fate. All their exertions were fruitless; for just as the captain of the maintop seized him by the tail, at the starboard royal yard-arm, he was cramming the last batch of calomel down his throat!

It would give needless pain to describe the effects of swallowing the whole of this enormous prescription. Every art was resorted to within our reach in the shape of antidotes, but all in vain. The stomach-pump was then, unfortunately, not invented. Poor Jacko's sufferings, of course, were great: first, he lost the use of his limbs, then he became blind, next paralytic; and, in short, he presented, at the end of the week, such a dreadful spectacle of pain, distortion, and rigidity of limb, that I felt absolutely obliged to desire that he might be released from his misery, by being thrown into the sea. This was accordingly done when the ship was going along, for the British Channel, at the rate of seven or eight knots, with a fine fair wind. Very shortly afterwards it fell calm, and next day the wind drew round to the eastward. It continued at that point till we were blown fifty leagues back, and kept at sea so much longer than we had reckoned upon, that we were obliged to reduce our daily allowance of provisions and water to a most painfully small quantity. The sailors unanimously ascribed the whole of our bad luck to the circumstance of the monkey being thrown overboard.

I had all my nautical life been well aware that a cat ought never to be so treated; but never knew, till the fate of this poor animal acquainted me with the fact, that a monkey is included in Jack's superstition.

In the same vessel, and on the same voyage to China, the sailors had another pet, of a very singular description; viz. a pig—literally a grunter: nor do I believe there ever was a favourite more deeply cherished, or more sincerely lamented after her singular exit. On our sailing from England, six little sows, of a peculiarly fine breed, had been laid in by my steward. In the course of the voyage, five of these fell under the relentless hands of the butcher; but one of the six, being possessed of a more graceful form than belonged to her sister swine, and kept as clean as any lap-dog, was permitted to run about the decks, amongst the goats, sheep, dogs, and monkeys of our little ark. The occurrence of two or three smart gales of wind off the Cape of Good Hope, and the unceremonious entrance of sundry large seas, swept the decks of most of our live stock, excepting only this one pig, known amongst the crew by the pet name of Jean. During the bad weather off the Bank of Aguilhas, her sowship was stowed in the launch on the booms, and never seen, though often enough heard; but when we hauled up to the northward, and once more entered the trade-winds, on our course to the Straits of Sunda, by which entrance we proposed to gain the Java Sea, Miss Jean was again allowed to range about the decks at large, and right happy she seemed, poor lady, to exchange the odious confinement of the longboat for the freedom of the open waist.

In warm latitudes, the men, as I have mentioned before, generally take their meals on deck, and it was Jean's grand amusement, as well as business, to cruise along amongst the messes, poking her snout into every bread-bag, and very often she scalded her tongue in the soup-kids. Occasionally, the sailors, to show the extent of their regard, amused themselves by pouring a drop of grog down her throat. I never saw her fairly drunk, however, but twice; upon which occasions, as was to be expected, she acted pretty much like a human being in the same hoggish predicament. Whether it was owing to this high feeding, or to the constant scrubbing which her hide received from sand, brushes, and holystones, I know not, but she certainly grew and flourished at a most astonishing rate, and every day waxed more and more impudent and importunate at the dinner-hour. I saw a good deal of this familiarity going on, but had no idea of the estimation Jean was held in, till one day, when we were about half-way across the China Sea, and all our stock of sheep, fowls, and ducks, was expended, I said to the steward, "You had better kill the pig, which, if properly managed, will last till we reach Macao."

The servant stood for some time fumbling with his hair, and shuffling with his feet, muttering something to himself.

"Don't you hear?" I asked. "Kill the pig; and let us have the fry to-day; the head with plenty of port wine, as mock-turtle soup, to-morrow; and get one of the legs roasted for dinner on Saturday."

Off he went; but in half-an-hour returned, on some pretence or other, when he took occasion to ask,—

"Did you say Jean was to be killed, sir?"

"Jean! Who is Jean?—Oh, now I remember; the pig. Yes, certainly. Why do you bother and boggle so about killing a pig?"

"The ship's company, sir—"

"Well; what have the ship's company to say to my pig?"

"They are very fond of Jean, sir."

"The devil they are! Well; what then?"

"Why, sir, they would take it as a great kindness if you would not order her to be killed. She is a great pet, sir, and comes to them when they call her by name, like a dog. They have taught her not to venture abaft the mainmast; but if you only call her, you'll see that what I say is true."

"Indeed! I'll soon try that experiment;" and seized my hat to go on deck.

"Shall I tell the butcher to hold fast?" asked Capewell.

"Of course!" I exclaimed. "Of course!"

Off shot the steward like an arrow; and I could soon distinguish the effect of the announcement, by the intermission of those horrible screams which ever attend the execution of the pig tribe, all which sounds were instantly terminated on the seizings being cut that tied poor Jean's legs.

On reaching the quarter-deck, I told what had passed to the officer of the watch, who questioned its propriety a little, I thought, by the tone of his answer. I, however, called out "Jean! Jean!" and in a moment the delighted pig came prancing along. So great, in fact, was her anxiety to answer the call, as if to show her sense of the trifling favour I had just conferred upon her, that she dashed towards us, tripped up the officer's heels, and had I not caught him, he would have come souse on the deck. Even as it was, he indulged in a growl, and muttered out,—

"You see, sir, what your yielding to such whims brings upon us."

I said nothing, and only took care in future to caution my friends to mind their footing when Jean was summoned aft, which, I allow, was very often; for there was no resisting the exhibition to all strangers of such a patent pet as this. To the Chinese in particular our comical favourite became an object of the highest admiration, for the natives of the celestial empire soon recognized in this happiest of swine the celebrated breed of their own country. Many a broad hint I got as to the acceptable nature of such a present, but I was deaf to them all; for I felt that Jean now belonged more to the ship's company than to myself, and that there was a sort of obligation upon me neither to eat her nor to give her away.

Under this tacit guarantee she gained so rapidly in size, fat, and other accomplishments, that, on our return to China, after visiting Loo Choo and other islands of the Japan Sea, the gentlemen of the factory would hardly credit me that this huge monster was the same animal. In talking of Jean's accomplishments, I must not be understood to describe her as a learned pig; for she could neither play cards, solve quadratic equations, nor perform any of those feats which enchant and astonish the eyes of the citizens of London and elsewhere, where many dogs and hogs are devoutly believed to be vested with a degree of intelligence rather above than below the average range of human intellect. Far from this, honest Jean could do little or nothing more than eat, drink, sleep, and grunt; in which respects she was totally unrivalled, and the effect of her proficiency in these characteristic qualities became daily more manifest. At first, as I have mentioned, when her name was called from any part of the ship, she would caper along, and dash impetuously up to the group by whom she was summoned. But after a time she became so excessively fat and lazy that it required many a call to get her to move, and the offer of a slice of pine-apple, or a handful of lychees, or even the delicious mangosteen, was now hardly enough to make her open her eyes, though in the early stages of the voyage she had been but too thankful for a potato, or the skin of an apple. As she advanced in fatness, she lost altogether the power of walking, and expected the men to bring the good things of their table to her, instead of allowing her to come for them.

At the time of Sir Murray Maxwell's attack on the batteries of Canton, the Lyra, under my command, was lying at Macao, and during our stay the brig was visited by many of the Chinese authorities. We were also watched by a fleet of men-of-war junks, and had some reason to suppose that we might have a brush with them. In that event, I think our worst chance would have consisted in the enthusiasm with which the Chinese admiral, captains, and crews, would have fought to have put themselves in possession of such a prize as Jean.

While things were in this interesting position, I received orders to get under weigh, and run up the Canton river to Wampoa. Off we set, escorted by the Chinese fleet of a dozen sail of junks. The wind was against us, but we soon beat up to the Bogue, and passed, unharmed, the batteries, which, to use Lord Nelson's expression, Captain Maxwell had made to look very like a plum-pudding. We had scarcely anchored at Second Bar, in the midst of the grand fleet of tea ships, when we were boarded by a host of Chinese mandarins and Hong merchants, wearing all the variety of buttons by which ranks are distinguished in that well-classified land. This was not to compliment us, or to offer us assistance, or even to inquire our business. One single object seemed to engage all their thoughts and animate the curiosity of half the province of Quantung. The fame of our fat sow Jean, in short, had far outrun the speed of the Lyra, and nothing was heard on every hand but the wondering exclamations of the natives, screaming out in admiration, "High-yaw! High-yaw!"

We had enough to do to clear the ship at night of these our visitors, but we were by no means left in solitude; for the Lyra's anchorage was completely crowded with native boats. The motive of all this attention on the part of the Chinese was not merely pure admiration of Jean; the fact is, the acute Chinese, skilled especially in hog's flesh, saw very well that our pet pig was not long for this world, and knowing that if she died a natural death, we should no more think of eating her than one of our own crew; and having guessed also that we had no intention of "killing her to save her life," they very reasonably inferred that ere long this glorious bonne bouche would be at their disposal.

Our men, who soon got wind of this design on the part of the Chinese, became quite outrageous against Fukee, as the natives are called, and would hardly permit any visitors to come near their favourite, lest they should accelerate her inevitable fate by poison. At length poor dear Jean gave token of approaching dissolution; she could neither eat, nor drink, nor even grunt; and her breathing was like that of a broken bellows: in short, she died! Every art was taken to conceal the melancholy event from the Chinese; but somehow or other it got abroad, for the other English ships were deserted, and long before sunset a dense mass of boats, like a floating town, was formed astern and on both quarters of the Lyra.

The sailors now held a grand consultation as to what was to be done; and after much discussion, and many neat and appropriate speeches, it was unanimously resolved that the mortal remains of the great sow now no more should be deposited in the mud of the river of Canton, in such a way that the most dexterous and hungry inhabitant of the celestial empire should not be able to fish her up again.

As soon as it was quite dark, and all the Chinese boats sent, as usual, beyond the circle limited by the ship's buoys, the defunct pig's friends set to work to prepare for her obsequies. The chief object was to guard against the ravenous natives hearing the splash, as she went overboard; and next, that she should not afterwards float to the surface. The first point was easily accomplished, as will be seen presently; but there was a long debate, in whispers, amongst the men, as to the most expedient plan of keeping the body of their late pet from once more showing her snout above the stream. At length, it was suggested by the coxswain of one of the boats which had been sent during the morning to sound the passage, that as the bed of the river where the brig lay consisted of a deep layer of mud, it would be a good thing if Jean's remains could be driven so far into this soft stratum as to lie below the drags and hooks of the Chinese.

This advice was much applauded, and at once acted upon with that happy facility of resource which it is the pride of the profession to have always in store for small as well as for great occasions. The dead sow was first laid on its back, and then two masses of iron ballast, being placed one on each side of the cheek, were lashed securely to the neck and shoulders in such a manner that the ends of the kentlage met across her nose, and formed, as it was very properly called, an extra snout for piercing the mud.

When all was ready, the midship carronade was silently dismounted, the slide unbolted, and the whole removed out of the way. Jean's enormous corporation being then elevated, by means of capstan bars and handspikes, was brought on a level with the port-sill. A slip-rope was next passed between her hind legs, which had been tied together at the feet; and poor Miss Piggy, being gradually pushed over the ship's side, was lowered slowly into the water. When fairly under the surface, and there were no fears of any splash being caused by letting her go, one end of the rope was cast off, upon which the well-loaded carcass shot down perpendicularly at such a rate that there could be no question of its being immersed a fathom deep, at least, in the mud, and, of course, far beyond the reach of the disappointed Chinese!



CHAPTER XIV.

DOUBLING THE CAPE.

As our merry little ship approached the far-famed Cape of Good Hope, I often remained on deck after the watch was out, feasting my eyes on the sight of constellations known to me before only by name, and as yet scarcely anchored in my imagination. Each succeeding night, as the various clusters rose, crossed the meridian, and sunk again into the western waves, we came more and more into the way, not only of speaking, but thinking of them, under their conventional titles of hydras, doves, toucans, phoenixes, and flying-fish, not forgetting the enormous southern whale, whose beautiful eye, called Fomalhaut, while it flames in the zenith of the Cape, is hardly known to the astronomers of this country, from its greatest altitude, as seen by them, not being ten degrees.

But of all the Antarctic constellations, the celebrated Southern Cross is by far the most remarkable, and must, in every age, continue to arrest the attention of all voyagers and travellers who are fortunate enough to see it. I think it would strike the imagination even of a person who had never heard of the Christian religion; but of this it is difficult to judge, seeing how inextricably our own ideas are mingled up with associations linking this sacred symbol with almost every thought, word, and deed of our lives. The three great stars which form the Cross, one at the top, one at the left arm, and one, which is the chief star, called Alpha, at the foot, are so placed as to suggest the idea of a crucifix, even without the help of a small star, which completes the horizontal beam. When on the meridian, it stands nearly upright; and as it sets, we observe it lean over to the westward. I am not sure whether, upon the whole, this is not more striking than its gradually becoming more and more erect as it rises from the east. In every position, however, it is beautiful to look at, and well calculated, with a little prompting from the fancy, to stir up our thoughts to solemn purpose. I know not how others are affected by such things; but, for myself, I can say with truth, that, during the many nights I have watched the Southern Cross, I remember no two occasions when the spectacle interested me exactly in the same way, nor any one upon which I did not discover the result to be somewhat different, and always more impressive, than what I had looked for.

This constellation being about thirty degrees from the south pole, is seen in its whole revolution, and, accordingly, when off the Cape, I have observed it in every stage, from its triumphant erect position, between sixty and seventy degrees above the horizon, to that of complete inversion, with the top beneath, and almost touching the water. This position, by the way, always reminded me of the death of St. Peter, who is said to have deemed it too great an honour to be crucified with his head upwards. In short, I defy the stupidest mortal that ever lived to watch these changes in the aspect of this splendid constellation, and not to be in some degree struck by them.

These airy visions are sometimes curiously broken in upon by the most common-place incidents, which force us back upon ordinary life. On the 28th of May we overtook a packet on her way to the Brazils from England, which had sailed more than a month after us, but she had not a single newspaper, army list, navy list, or review on board. The mate was totally ignorant of all the interesting topics of that most interesting moment of the war (1812); and in reply to all our questions, merely observed that everything was just the same as when we left England. The captain was ill in bed, and could not be spoken to, so that this intelligent gentleman, his chief officer, had been lugged on deck to tell the news. He honestly confessed, after being sufficiently baited and badgered by our interrogatories, that even when in England he had no time to look at the newspapers, but that he left public affairs to the management of those whose business it was to look after them, while he found enough to do in looking after the packet.

"I dare say," added the fellow, with rather more dryness of humour than we had imagined was in his doughy composition, "I dare say the whole story you are asking about, of Buonaparte and the Russians, is told very exactly in these bags (pointing to the mail), and if I deliver them safe at Rio, it will be wrong to say I bring no news."

On the 4th of June we had a jollification in honour of good old King George the Third's birthday. In how many different parts of the world, and with what deep and affectionate sincerity, were cups quaffed and cheers rung out in the same loyal cause! If sailors would tell the truth, we should find that when abroad and far away, they generally use their distant friends as the captain, mentioned some time ago, did his ship's company's European clothing—stow them away for a future occasion. I do not say that they forget or neglect their friends; they merely put them by in safety for a time. In fact, as the song says, a sailor's heart and soul have plenty to do "in every port," to keep fully up to the companionships which are present, without moping and moaning over the remembrance of friends at a distance, who, in like manner no doubt, unship us also, more or less, from their thoughts, if not from their memory, for the time being; and it is all right and proper that it should be so.

On the 5th of June we parted from our convoy, the China ships; and, alas! many a good dinner we lost by that separation. Our course lay more to the left, or eastward, as we wished to look in at the Cape of Good Hope, while those great towering castles, the tea ships, could not afford time for play, but struck right down to the southward, in search of the westerly winds which were to sweep them half round the globe, and enable them to fetch the entrance of the China seas in time to save the monsoon to Canton. Each ship sent a boat to us with letters for England, to be forwarded from the Cape. This was probably their last chance for writing home; so that, after the accounts contained in these dispatches reached England, their friends would hear nothing of them till they presented themselves eighteen months afterwards. Neither did they expect to know what was passing at home till they should touch at St. Helena, on the return voyage, in the latter end of the following year.

I remember looking over the lee-gangway next day, at the first blush of the dawn, during the morning watch, and I could barely distinguish the fleet far to leeward, with their royals just showing above the horizon. On taking leave of our convoy, we were reminded that there is always something about the last, the very last look of any object, which brings with it a feeling of melancholy. On this occasion, however, we had nothing more serious to reproach ourselves with than sundry impatient execrations with which we had honoured some of our slow-moving, heavy-sterned friends, when we were compelled to shorten sail in a fair wind, in order to keep them company. A smart frigate making a voyage with a dull-sailing convoy reminds one of the child's story of the provoking journey made by the hare with a drove of oxen.