The approval of the brethren whitened Mathias' cheek with anger, and he answered Paul that his denial of the law did not help him to rise to any higher conception of the deity than to compare him to a potter, and he warned Paul that to arrive at any idea of God we must forget potters, rejecting the idea of a maker setting out from a certain moment of time to shape things according to a pattern out of pre-existing matter. And I would tell thee before thou startest for the end of the earth that the Jesus Christ which has obsessed thee is but the Logos, the principle that mediates between the supreme God and the world formed out of matter, which has no being of its own, for being is not in that mere potency of all things alike, which thou callest Power, but in Divine Reason.

I have heard men speak like thee in Athens, Paul answered slowly and sadly, and I said then that the wisdom of man is but foolishness in God's sight. But thy stay there was not long, and thou hast not spoken of my country, Egypt, Mathias answered, and rising from his seat he left the table and passed out on to the balcony like one offended, and, leaning his arms on the rail, he stood looking into the abyss.

A Jew of Alexandria, Manahem whispered in Paul's ear, but he holds fast by the law in his own sense, and in telling of this Christ thou—— We would hear of Peter, Saddoc interrupted, the fisherman thou foundest eating unclean meat with the Gentiles. Have I not said, Paul answered, that what is eaten and what is drunk finds neither favour nor disfavour in God's eyes—that it is not by observance we are saved, but by faith in our Lord Jesus Christ that died to redeem us from the law, and was raised from the dead by his Father, and who appeared to the twelve and to five hundred others, some of whom are dead, but many are still alive? But this Christ, who was he when he lived upon this earth? Manahem inquired. Son of the living God, Paul answered, that took on the beggarly raiment of human flesh at Nazareth, was baptized by John in Jordan, and preached in Galilee, went up to Jerusalem and was crucified by Pilate between two thieves; the third day he rose from the dead, that our sins—— Didst say he was born in Nazareth? Hazael asked, the word Nazareth having roused him from his reveries, and was baptized by John in Jordan, preached afterwards in Galilee, and suffered under Pilate? Was crucified, Paul interjected; then you have heard, he said, of the resurrection? Not of the resurrection; but we know that our Brother Jesus was born in Nazareth, was baptized in Jordan by John, preached in Galilee and suffered under Pilate. Pilate condemned many men, Paul answered, a cruel man even among the Romans. But born in Nazareth and was baptized by John didst say? I said it, Hazael answered. Which among you, Paul asked, looking into every face, is he? Jesus is not here, Hazael replied, he is out with the flock. He slept by thy side on this balcony last night. We've listened to thy story with interest, Paul; we give thee thanks for telling it, and by thy leave we will return to our daily duties and to our consciences.



CHAP. XXXVII.

One of the Essenes had left some quires of his Scriptures upon the table; Paul picked them up, but, unable to fix his attention, he walked out on to the balcony, and when the murmur of the brook began to exasperate him he returned to the domed gallery and walked through it with some vague intention of following the rubble path that led out on to the mountains, but remembering the Thracian dogs chained under the rocks, he came back and stood by the well, and in its moist atmosphere fell into argument with himself as to the cause of his disquiet, denying to himself that it was related in any way to the story he had heard from the Essenes—that there was one amongst them, a shepherd from Nazareth, who had received baptism from John and suffered under Pilate, the very one whom he had heard talking that morning to Jacob about ewes and rams. At last he attributed his disquiet to his anxiety for the safety of Timothy.

All the same, he said, it was strange that Pilate should have put one from the cenoby on the cross, another Jesus of Nazareth.... It might be that this Essene shepherd and his story were but a trap laid for him by the Jews! But no——

Paul remembered he had written a long epistle to the Galatians reproving them for lack of faith, and now he found himself caught in one of those moments to which all flesh seems prone. But no; the cause of his disquiet was Timothy; Jesus had promised him news of Timothy, else he would not have delayed so long among these clefts. He might start at once; but he would not be able to find the way through these hills without a guide, and he could not leave till he heard from this Essene why Pilate had ordered him to be scourged. What crime was he guilty of? A follower he was, no doubt, of Judas the Gaulonite, else Pilate would not have ordered him to be crucified. But the reason for his having left the wilderness? There must be one, and he sought the reason through the long afternoon without finding one that seemed plausible for more than a few minutes.

The drone of the brook increased his agitation and the day was well-nigh spent when the doors of the cells opened and the brethren began to appear in their white garments; and when they had found seats about the table Paul related that he was waiting for Jesus to return from the hills.

At last he heard one say: here is Jesus, and at the sound of the familiar name Paul started up to meet him, and speaking the first words that came to his lips he asked him if it were true that he was from Nazareth and had received baptism from John and suffered under Pilate. I was born in Nazareth, but what of that? Why dost thou look into my face so steadfastly? Because this noon, Paul answered, while thou wast with thy flock, I was moved to tell the brethren of Jesus of Nazareth, who died on the cross to redeem us, for I would that all you here should join with us and carry the joyful tidings to Italy and Spain. The doors are open——

Hazael coming from his cell at that moment stayed the words that had risen up in Paul's mind, and he looked at the president as if he expected him to speak, but Hazael sank into his chair and soon after into his own thoughts. So thy name is Jesus and thou'rt from Nazareth? Paul said, turning to the shepherd, and Jesus answered: I was born in Nazareth and my life has been lived among these hills. Our guest, Saddoc said, interrupting, has told us the story of his life, and he hopes to persuade us to leave this gorge and go with him to Italy and on to Spain. To Spain? Jesus asked. To carry the joyful tidings that the doors of salvation are now open to all, Saddoc answered. He has told us that he was once a great persecutor of Christians. Of Christians? Jesus repeated. And who are they? The Christians are they that believe the Messiah promised to the Jews was raised by God from the dead, Saddoc replied, and our guest would have us go with him to Spain, for on the road to Damascus he had a vision, and nearly lost his sight in it. And ever since he has been preaching that the doors are open to all. He is the greatest traveller the world has ever known. Christ is a Greek word, Manahem said, for it seemed to him that Saddoc was speaking too much, and that he could give Jesus a better account of Paul's journeyings, his conversions of the Gentiles and the persecutions that followed these conversions: for the Jews, Manahem said, have been on his track always, and his last quarrel with them was yester even by the Jordan, where he was preaching with Timothy. They lost each other in the hills. Of Timothy I have news, Jesus answered. He met a shepherd in the valley who pointed out the way to Caesarea to him, and it may be that he is not far from that city now. Then I will go to Caesarea at once, Paul cried. I have promised to put thee on the direct road, Jesus said, but it is for thee to choose another guide, he added, for Paul's face told him the thoughts that were passing in Paul's mind: that he would sooner that any other of the brethren should guide him out of the wilderness. After looking at Paul for some time he said: I've heard from Manahem and Saddoc that thou wast a persecutor of Christians, but without understanding, so hurried was the story. And they tell me, Paul said, that thou'rt from Nazareth and suffered under Pilate. More than that they do not seem to know; but from what they tell me thy story resembles that of our Lord Jesus Christ who was betrayed in a garden and was raised from the dead. At the words, who was betrayed in a garden, a light seemed to break in Jesus' face and he said: some two years of my life are unknown to anybody here, even Hazael does not know them, and last night I was about to tell them to him on the balcony.

You all remember how he was carried out of the lecture-room on to this balcony by Saddoc and Manahem, who left him with me. I had just returned from the mountain, having left my flock with Jacob, our new shepherd, and Hazael, who recovered his senses quickly in the evening air, begged me to tell him of Jacob's knowledge of the flock, and I spoke to him highly of Jacob.... Hazael, have I thy permission to tell the brethren here assembled the story I began to tell thee last night, but which was interrupted? The old man raised his head and said: Jesus, I hearken, go on with thy story.

Brethren, yester evening I returned from the hills after having left our flock in charge of Jacob. You know, brethren, why I confided the flock to him. After fifty (I am fifty-five) our steps are no longer as alert as they were: an old man cannot sleep in a cavern like a young man nor defend himself against robbers like a young man, and yesternight was the first night I spent under a roof for many a year, and under that roof I am to live henceforth with you here, tending on our president, who needs attention now in his great age. These things were in his mind and in mine while we sat on the balcony last night taking the air. Hazael had spoken his fear that the change from the hills to this dwelling would prove irksome to me at first, and our talk turned upon the life I have led since boyhood. Our president seemed to think that the better life is to live under the sky and the sure way to happiness is in solitude: he had fallen to admiration of my life spent among the hills, and had spoken to me of the long journeys he used to undertake in his youth over Palestine, seeking for young men in whom he foresaw the making of good Essenes; many of you here are his discoveries, myself certainly. We indulged in recollection, and listening to him my thoughts were back in Nazareth, and I waited for him to tell me how one night he met my father, Joseph the carpenter, returning home after his day's work, and seeing in him a native of the district, he addressed himself to him and begged my father to point out the road to Nazareth. My father answered: I am going thither, thou canst not do better than follow me. So the two fared on together, talking of a lodging for the night, my father fearing that no house would be open to a stranger, which was the truth. They knocked at many, but received only threats that the dogs would be turned upon them if they did not hasten away. My father said: never shall it be rumoured in Nazareth that a stranger was turned away and had to sleep in the streets. Thou shalt have my son's bed, and taking Hazael by the hand my father urged him and forced him into our house. Thou shalt sleep in my house, my father said, and shook me out of my sleep, saying, Jesus, thy bed is wanted for a stranger, and to this day I remember standing in my smock before Hazael, my eyes dazed with sleep.

Next day Hazael was teaching me; and it pleasing him to see in me the making of a good Essene, and my father being willing that I should go (a good carpenter he did not see in me), he took me away with him through Samaria into Jerusalem, and we struck across the desert, descending the hills into the plain of Jericho, and crossed the Jordan.

After a year's probationship I was admitted into the order of the Essenes and was given choice of a trade, and it was put forth that I should follow the trade of my father or work amid the fig-trees along our terraces, but my imagination being stirred by the sight of the shepherds among the hills, I said, let me be one. And for fifteen years I led my flock, content to see it prosper under my care, until one day, spying two wolves scratching where I knew there was a cave, an empty one I thought, the hermit having been taken by wolves not long before, I couched my spear and went forward; at sight of me and my dogs the wolves fled, as I expected they would, and the hermit that had come to the cave overnight came out, and after thanking me for driving off the wolves asked me if I could guide him to a spring of pure water. Thou'rt not far from one, I said, for the cave he had come to live in was situated in the valley of the leopard's den, which is but half-a-mile from our brook. I will go thither with thee this evening, but first drink from my water-bottle, I said, for I could see he needed water, and I spoke to him of the number of hermits we had lost lately from wild animals, but he did not heed me, and as soon as he had soothed his parched tongue with my water-bottle he began to tell me that he had come from the shores of the Dead Sea and was about to begin to preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins, and that we must not indulge in hope of salvation because we have Abraham for our father.

His words seemed to be true words, and I pondered on them, and along the Jordan everybody was asking whether he was the promised Christ. I walked miles to hear him, leaving my flock in another's charge, or waited for him to return to his cave, and often spent the night watching over him lest a wild beast should break in upon him while he slept. I had known none but my brethren, nor any city, and John had travelled through all Judea, and it was from him I learnt that the world was nearing its end, and that if man did not repent at once God would raise another race out of the stones by the wayside, so needful was the love of man to God; and though it had always seemed to me God was gentler than he seemed to be in John's prophesying, yet his teaching suddenly seemed to be right to me. I got baptism from him in Jordan and went into the wilderness to read the Book of Daniel, in which he said all had been foretold, and, having read, at his advice I bade farewell to the brethren. Manahem, Saddoc, Mathias, Caleb and Eleazar remember my departure; you regretted it and tried to dissuade me, but I answered you, saying that God had called me to preach in my own country, Galilee, that whosoever has two coats should give one to the poor; for it is the poor that will intercede for us on the last day; and, carrying John's doctrine further, I declared that it were easier for a sword to pass through an eye of a needle than for a rich man to go to heaven, which may be true, but such judgments should be left to God, and, carrying it still further, I said it was as hard for a rich man to go to heaven as for cow to calve in a rook's nest.

In my teaching I wandered beyond our doctrines and taught that this world is but a mock, a shame, a disgrace, and that naught was of avail but repentance. John's teaching took possession of me, but I would not have you think here that I am about to lay my sins at John's door, for sin it is for a man to desire that which God has not given, and I should have remained an Essene shepherd following my flocks in the hills, whereas John did well to come out of his desert and preach that the end of the world was approaching and that men must repent, for God willed him to preach these things. His teaching was true when he was the teacher, but when I became his disciple his teaching became false; it turned me from my natural self and into such great harshness of mind that in Nazareth when my mother came with my brothers and sisters to the synagogue I said, woman, I have no need of thee, and when Joseph of Arimathea returned to me after a long attendance by his father's bedside (his father had lain in a great sickness for many months; it was through Joseph's care that he had been saved from death, Joseph was a good son), I told him he must learn to hate his father and his mother if he would become worthy to follow me. But my passion was so great in those days that I did not see that my teaching was not less than blasphemy against God, for God has created the world for us to live in it, and he has put love of parents into our hearts because he wishes us to love our parents, and if he has put into the heart of man love of woman, and into the heart of woman love of man, it is because he wishes both to enjoy that love.

I fear to think of the things I said at that time, but I must speak of them. One man asked me before he left all things to follow me if he might not bury his father first. I answered, leave the dead to bury their dead, and to another who said, my hand is at the plough, may I not drive it to the headland, I answered: leave all things and follow me. My teaching grew more and more violent. It is not peace, I said, that I bring to you, but a sword, and I come as a brand wherewith to set the world in flame. I said, too, that I came to divide the house; to set father against mother, brother against brother, sister against sister. I can see that my remembrance of him who once was wounds the dear brethren with whom I have lived so long; I knew it would be hard for you to hear that an Essene had broken the rules of a holy order, and it is hard for me to stand before you and tell that I, who was instructed by Hazael in all the pious traditions of our race, should have blasphemed against God's creation and God's own self. You will thrust me through the door as an unworthy brother, saying, go, live in the wilderness, and I shall not cry out against my expulsion through the hills and valleys, but continue to repent my sins in silence till death leads me into silence that never ends. You are perhaps asking yourselves why I returned here: was it to hide myself from Pilate and the Jews? No, but to repent of the evil seed that I had sown that I returned here; and it was because he wished me to repent that God took me down from the cross and cured me of my wounds in Joseph's house and sent me here to lead the sheep over the hills, and it was he who put this last confession into my mouth.

It seems to me that in telling this story, brethren, I am doing but the work of God; no man strays very far from the work that God has decreed to him. But in the time I am telling I was so exalted by the many miracles which I had performed by the power of God or the power of a demon, I know not which, that I encouraged my disciples to speak of me as the son of David, though I knew myself to be the son of Joseph the carpenter; and when I rode into Jerusalem and the people strewed palms before me and called out, the son of David, and Joseph said to me, let them not call thee the son of David, I answered in my pride, if they did not call it forth the stones themselves would. In the days I am telling, pride lifted me above myself, and I went about asking who I was, Moses, Elijah, Jeremiah or the Messiah promised to the Jews.

A madman! A madman, or possessed by some evil spirit, Paul cried out, and rising to his feet he rushed out of the cenoby, but nobody rose to detain him; some of the Essenes raised their heads, and a moment after the interruption was forgotten.

A day passed in the great exaltation and hope, and one evening I took bread and broke it, saying that I was the bread of life that came down from heaven and that whosoever ate of it had everlasting life given to him. After saying these words a great disquiet fell upon me, and calling my disciples together I asked them to come to the garden of olives with me. And it was while asking God's forgiveness for my blasphemies that the emissaries and agents of the priests came and took me prisoner.

At the touch of their hands the belief that I was the Messiah promised to the Jews rose up in my heart again, and when the priests asked me if I were the Christ, the Son of the Blessed, I answered, I am, and ye shall see the son of man sitting on the right hand of God; and it was not till I was hanging on the cross for upwards of two hours that the belief I had come down from heaven to do our Father's will faded; again much that I had said seemed to me evil and blasphemous, and feeling myself about to die I called out to my Father, who answered my call at once, bringing Joseph of Arimathea to the foot of the cross to ask the centurion for my body for burial. But the centurion could not deliver me unto him without Pilate's order, and both went to Pilate, and he gave me to Joseph for burial.

Nor did our Father allow the swoon to be lifted till Joseph entered the tomb to kiss me for the last time. It was then he opened my eyes and I saw Joseph standing by me, a lantern in his hand, looking at me ... for the last time before closing the tomb.

He lifted me on to his shoulder and carried me up a little twisting path to his house, and an old woman, named Esora, attended to my wounds with balsam, and when they were cured Joseph began to tell me that my stay in his house was dangerous to him and to me, and he vaunted to me in turn Caesarea and Antioch as cities in which I should be safe from the Jews. But my mind was so weak and shaken that his reasons faded from my mind and I sat smiling at the sunlight like one bereft of sense. Strive as he might, he could not awaken me from the lethargy in which I was sunken, and every day and every week increased his danger and mine; and it was not till the news came that my old comrades had come to live in the Brook Kerith that my mind began to awaken and to move towards a resolution; an outline began to appear, when I said, I have led my sheep over the hills yonder many a time, and tempted me to speak of you till the desire arose in me to see you again. You remember our arrival one morning at daybreak and my eagerness to see the flock.

Brother Amos was glad to see me back again, and in talking of the flock Joseph was almost forgotten, which shows how wandering my mind was at the time.... He left without seeing me, but not without warning Hazael not to question me else my mind might yield to the strain, saying that it hung on a thread, which was true, and I remember how for many a year every cliff's edge tempted me to jump over. Joseph was gone for ever, and the memory of my sins were as tongues of flame that leaped by turns out of the ashes. But the fiercest ashes grow cold in time; we turn them over without fear of flame, and last night I said to Hazael as we sat together, there is a sin in my life that none knows of, it is buried fathoms deep out of all sight of men, and Hazael having said there was little of the world's time in front of him, I felt suddenly I could not conceal from him any longer the sin that Joseph had not dared to tell him—that I had once believed myself to be a precursor of the Messiah like many that came before me, but unlike any other I began to believe myself to be the incarnate word.

A soft, vague sound, the gurgle of the brook, rose out of the stillness, as it flowed down the gorge from cavern to cavern.

After a little while Hazael called to Manahem and bade him relate to Jesus the story Paul had told them, and when Jesus had heard the story he was overtaken with a great pity for Paul. But thinkest that he will believe thee? Hazael asked, lifting his chin out of his beard, and the calm of Jesus' face was troubled by the question and he sank upon a stool close by Hazael's chair. What may we do? he muttered, and the Essenes withdrew, for they guessed that the elders had serious words to speak together.

Thou hast heard my story, Hazael; nothing remains now but to bid farewell to thy old friend. To say farewell, Jesus, Hazael repeated, why should we say farewell? Hazael, the rule of our order forbids me to stay, Jesus answered; those who commit crimes like mine are cast out and left to starve in the desert. But, Jesus, Hazael replied, thou knowest well that none here would put thee beyond the doors. Thy crimes, whatever they may have been, are between thee and God. It is for thee to repent, and from hill-top to hill-top thou hast prayed for forgiveness, and through all the valleys. All things in the end rest with him. Speak to us not of going. But if God had forgiven me, Jesus answered, and my blasphemies against him, he would not have sent this man hither. And what dost thou propose to do? Hazael asked, raising his head from his beard and looking Jesus in the face.

To go to Jerusalem, Jesus answered, and to tell the people that I was not raised from the dead by God to open the doors of heaven to Jews and infidels alike. But who will believe thee to be Jesus that Pilate condemned to the cross? Hazael asked. Twenty years have gone over and they will say: a poor, insane shepherd from the Judean hills. Be this as it may, my repentance will then be complete, Jesus muttered. But thou hast repented, Hazael wailed in his beard. But, Jesus, all religions, except ours, are founded on lies, and there have been thousands, and there will be thousands more. Why trouble thyself about the races that cover the face of the earth or even about thine own race. Let thy thoughts not stray from this group of Essenes whom thou hast known always or from me who found thee in Nazareth and took thee by the hand. Why think of me? It is enough to remember that all good and all evil (that concern us) proceeds from ourselves. Hast not said to me that God has implanted a sense of good and evil in our hearts and that it is by this sense that we know him rather than through scrolls and miracles? Abide by thy own words, Jesus. Be not led away again by an impulse, and go not forth again, for it is by going forth, as thou knowest, that we fall into sin. Wouldst try once more to make others according to thine own image and likeness, to make them see and hear and feel as thou feelest, seest and hearest; but such changes may not be made by any man in another. We may not alter the work of God, and we are all the works of God, each shaped out of a design that lay in the back of his mind for all eternity. We cannot reshape others nor ourselves, and why do I tell things thou knowest better than I? The thoughts that I am teaching now are thine own thoughts related to me often on thy return from the hills and collected by me in faithful memory. Hast forgotten, Jesus, having said to me, the world cannot be remoulded, all men may not be saved, only a few, by the grace of God? I said these things to thee, Hazael, but what did I say but my thoughts, and what are my thoughts? Lighter than the bloom of dandelion floating on the hills. It is not to our own thoughts we must look for guidance but God's thoughts, which are deep in us and clear in us, but we do not listen and are led away by our reason. My sin was to have preached John as well as myself. I strayed beyond myself and lost myself in the love of God, a thing a man may do if he love not his fellows. My sin was not to have loved men enough. But we are as God made us, and must do the best we can with ourselves.

Jesus waited for Hazael to answer him, but Hazael made no answer, but sat like a stone, his head hanging upon his chest. Why dost thou not answer, Hazael? he said, and Hazael answered: Jesus, my thoughts were away. I was thinking of last night, of our talk together in that balcony—I was thinking, Jesus, how sweet life is in the beginning, and how it grows bitter in the mouth; and the end seems bitter indeed when we think of the gladness that day when we walked through the garlanded streets of our first day together in Nazareth. It was in the springtime of our lives and of the year. How delightful it was for me to find one like thee so eager to understand the life of the Essenes: so eager to join us. Such delight I shall not find again. We spoke last night of our journey from Nazareth to Jerusalem and across the Jordan. Thou wouldst not follow thy father's trade, but would lead flocks from the hills, and becamest in time the best shepherd, it is said, ever known in the hills. No one ever had an eye for a ram or ewe like thee, and of thy cure for scab all the shepherds are envious. We were proud of our shepherd, but he met John and came to me saying that God had called him to go forth and convert the world. Since God has placed thee here, I said, how is it that he should come and call thee away now? And thou wast eager with explanation up and down the terraces till we reached the bridge. We crossed it and followed the path and under the cliffs till we came to the road that leads to Jerusalem. It was there we said farewell. Two years or more passed away, and then Joseph brought thee back. A tired, suffering man whose wits were half gone and who recovered them slowly, but who did not recover them while leading his flock. How often have we talked of its increase, and now we shall never talk again of rams and ewes nor of thy meditations in the desert and on the hill-tops and in the cave at night. So much to me were these sweet returnings of thee from the hills that my hope was that the dawn was drawing nigh when thou wouldst return no more to the hills, and yesternight was a happy night when we sat together on the balcony indulging in recollection, thinking that henceforth we should live within sight of each other's faces always. My hope last night was that it would be thou that wouldst close my eyes and lay me in a rock sepulchre out of reach of the hyenas. But my hopes have all vanished now. Thou art about to leave me. The brethren? No, they will not leave me, but even should all remain, if thou be not here I shall be as alone.

But, Hazael, all may be as thou sayest, the Jews will welcome me, Jesus answered. I am no longer the enemy; Paul is the enemy of Judaism and I am become the testimony. Judaism, he says, is the root that bears the branches, and if I go to Jerusalem and tell the Jews that the Nazarene whom Pilate put upon the cross still lives in the flesh, they will rejoice exceedingly, and send agents and emissaries after him wherever he goes. Paul persecuted me and my disciples, and now it would seem that my hand is turned against him. Remain with us, Hazael cried. Forget the world, leave it to itself and fear not; one lie more will make no difference in a world that has lived upon lies from the beginning of time. A counsel that tempts me, for I would begin no persecution against Paul, but the lie has spread and will run all over the world even as a single mustard seed, and the seed is of my sowing; all returns to me; that Paul was able to follow the path is certain testimony that he was sent by God to me, and that I am called to be about my Father's work. As thou sayest, things repeat themselves. Farewell, Hazael. Farewell, my father in the faith. So there is no detaining thee, my dear son, and, rising from his seat, Hazael put a staff in Jesus' hand and hung a scrip about his neck. If thy business be done perhaps—— But no, let us indulge in no false hopes. Neither will look upon the other's face again. Jesus did not answer, and returning to the balcony Hazael said: I will sit here and watch thee for the last time.

But Jesus did not raise his eyes until he reached the bridge, and then he took the path that led by the cenobies of other days, and walked hastily, for he was too agitated to think. A little in front of him, some hundred yards, a great rock overhung the path, and when he came there he stopped, for it was the last point from which he could have sight of the balcony. As he stood looking back, shading his eyes with his hand, he saw two of the brethren come and touch Hazael on the shoulder. As he did not raise his head to answer, they consulted together, and Jesus hurried away lest some sudden and impetuous emotion should call him back from his errand.



CHAP. XXXVIII.

A small black bird with yellow wings, usually met with along the brook flitting from stone to stone, diverted his thoughts from Jerusalem and set him wondering what instinct had brought the bird up from the brook on to a dry hill-top. The bird must have sensed the coming rain, he said, and he came up here to escape the torrent. On looking round the sky for confirmation of the bird's instinct, he saw dark clouds gathering everywhere and in a manner that to his shepherd's eye betokened rain. The bird seems a little impatient with the clouds for not breaking, he continued, and at that moment the bird turned sharply from the rock on which he was about to alight, and Jesus, divining a cause for the change of intention, sought behind the rock for it and found it in a man lying there with foam upon his lips. He seemed to Jesus like one returning to himself out of a great swoon, and helping him to his feet Jesus seated him on a rock. In a little while, Paul said, I shall be able to continue my journey. Thou'rt Jesus whom I left speaking in the cenoby. Give me a little water to drink. I forgot to fill the bottle before I left the brook, Jesus answered. There is a little left, but not the fresh water that I would like to give thee, Paul, but water from overnight. It matters not, Paul said, and having drunk a little and bathed his temples, Paul asked Jesus to help him to his feet, but after a few yards he tottered into Jesus' arms and had to rest again, and while resting he said: I rushed out of the cenoby, for I felt the swoon was nigh upon me. I am sorry to have interrupted thy discourse, he added, but refrain from repeating any of it, for my brain is too tired to listen to thee. Thou'lt understand the weakness of a sick man and pardon me. Now I'm beginning to remember. I had a promise from thee to lead me out of this desert. Yes, Paul, I promised to guide thee to Caesarea—— But I rushed away, Paul said, and thou hast followed me, knowing well that I should not find my way alone to Caesarea. I should have missed it and perhaps fallen into the hands of the Jews or fallen over the precipice and become food for vultures. Now my strength is coming back to me, but without thee I shall not find my way out of the desert. Fear nothing, Paul, I shall not leave thee till I have seen thee safely on thy way to Caesarea or within sight of that city. Thou hast come to guide me? Paul asked, looking up. Yes, to guide thee, Paul, to accompany thee to Caesarea, if not all the way the greater part of it, Jesus answered. Thou'lt sleep to-morrow at a village about two hours from Caesarea, and there we shall part. But be not afraid. I'll not leave thee till thou'rt safe out of reach of the Jews. But I must be at Caesarea to-morrow, Paul said, or else my mission to Italy and Spain will be delayed, perhaps forfeited. My mission to Spain, dost hear me? Do not speak of thy mission now, Jesus answered, for he was afraid lest a discussion might spring up between him and Paul, and he was glad when Paul asked him how it was he had come upon him in this great wilderness. He asked Jesus if he had traced his footsteps in the sand, or if an angel had guided him. My eyes are not young enough to follow footsteps in the sand, Jesus replied, and I saw no angel, but a bird turned aside from the rock on which he was about to alight abruptly, and going to seek the cause of it I found thee.... Now if thy strength be coming back we will try to walk a little farther.

I'll lean on thee, and then, just as if Paul felt that Jesus might tell him once again that he was Jesus of Nazareth whom Pilate had condemned to the cross, he began to put questions: was Jesus sure that it was not an angel disguised as a bird that had directed him? Jesus could only answer that as far as he knew the bird was a bird and no more. But birds and angels are alike contained within the will of God; whereupon Paul invited Jesus to speak of the angels that doubtless alighted among the rocks and conversed with the Essenes without fear of falling into sin, there being no women in the cenoby. But in the churches and synagogues it was different, and he had always taught that women must be careful to cover their hair under veils lest angels might be tempted. For the soiled angel, he explained, is unable to return to heaven, and therefore passes into the bodies of men and women and becomes a demon, and when the soiled angel can find neither men nor women to descend into they abide in animals, and become arch demons.

Paul, who had seemed to Jesus to have recovered a great part of his strength, spoke with great volubility and vehemence, saying that angels were but the messengers of God, and to carry on the work of the world God must have messengers, but angels had no power to carry messages from man back to God. There was but one Mediator, and he was on the point of saying that this Mediator was Jesus Christ our Lord, but he checked himself, and said instead that the power to perform miracles was not transmitted from God to man by means of angels. Angels, he continued, were no more than God's messengers, and he related that when he had shed a mist and darkness over the eyes of Elymas, the sooth-sayer in Cyprus, he had received the power to do so direct from God; he affirmed too, and in great earnestness, that it was not an angel but God himself that had prompted him to tell the cripple at Iconium to stand upright on his feet; he had been warned in a vision not to go into Bithynia; and at Troas a man had appeared to him in the night and ordered him to come over to Macedonia, which was his country; he did not know if the man was a real man in the flesh or the spirit of a man who had lived in the flesh: but he was not an angel. Of that Paul was sure and certain; then he related how he had taken ship and sailed to Samothrace, and next day to Neopolis, and the next day to Philippi, and how in the city of Thyatira he had bidden a demon depart out of a certain damsel who brought her master much gain by soothsaying. And for doing this he had been cast into prison. He knew not of angels, and it was an earthquake that caused the prison doors to open and not an angel. Peter had met angels, but he, Paul, had never met one, he knew naught of angels, except the terrible Kosmokratores, the rulers of this world, the planetary spirits of the Chaldeans, and he feared angel worship, and had spoken to the Colossians against it, saying: remember there is always but one Mediator between God and man, Jesus Christ our Lord, who came to deliver us from those usurping powers and their chief, the Prince of the Powers of the Air. They it was, as he had told the Corinthians, that crucified the Lord of glory. But perhaps even they may be saved, for they knew not what they did.

Jesus was afraid that Paul's vehemence would carry him on into another fit like the one that he had just come out of, and he was glad to meet a shepherd, who passed his water-bottle to Paul. Fill thy bottle from mine, the shepherd said to Jesus, and there is half-a-loaf of bread in my wallet which I'd like thee to have to share with thy traveller in the morning, else he will not be able to begin the journey again. Nay, do not fear to take it, he said, my wife'll have prepared supper for me. Jesus took the bread and bade his mate farewell. There is a cave, Paul, Jesus said, in yonder valley which we can make safe against wolves and panthers. Lean on my arm. Thy head is still a trouble; drink a little more water. See, the shepherd has given me half-a-loaf, which we will share in the morning. Come, the cave is not far: in yon valley. Paul raised his eyes, and they reasoned with vague, pathetic appeal, for at that moment Jesus was the stronger. Since it must be so, I'll try, he said, and he tottered, leaning heavily on Jesus for what seemed to him a long way and then stopped. I can go no farther; thou wouldst do well to leave me to the hyenas. Go thy way. But Jesus continued to encourage him, saying that the cave in which they were to rest was at the end of the valley, and when Paul asked how many yards distant, he did not answer the exact distance, but halved it, so that Paul might be heartened and encouraged, and when the distance mentioned had been traversed and the cave was still far away he bore with Paul's reproaches and answered them with kindly voice: we shall soon be there, another few steps will bring us into it, and it isn't a long valley; only a gutter, Paul answered, the way the rains have worn through the centuries. A strange desert, the strangest we have seen yet, and I have travelled a thousand leagues but never seen one so melancholy. I like better the great desert. I have lived all my life among these hills, Jesus replied, and to my eyes they have lost their melancholy.

All thy life in these deserts, Paul replied eagerly, and his manner softened and became almost winning. Thou'lt forgive, he said, any abruptness there may have been in my speech, I am speaking differently from my wont, but to-morrow I shall be in health and able to follow thee and to listen with interest to thy tales of shepherding among these hills of which thou must know a goodly number. My speech is improving, isn't it? answer me. Jesus answered that he understood Paul very well; and could tell him many stories of flocks, pillaging by robbers and fights between brave Thracian dogs and wolves, and if such stories interested Paul he could relate them. But here is our cave, he said, pointing to a passage between the rocks. We must go down on our hands and knees to enter it; and in answer to Paul, who was anxious to know the depth of the cave, Jesus averred that he only knew the cave through having once looked into it. The caves we know best are the vast caves into which the shepherd can gather his flocks, trusting to his dogs to scent the approach of a wild animal and to awaken him. Go first and I'll follow thee, and Jesus crawled till the rocks opened above him and he stood up in what Paul described as a bowel in the mountain; a long cave it was, surely, twisting for miles through the darkness, and especially evil-smelling, Paul said. Because of the bats, Jesus answered, and looking up they saw the vermin hanging among the clefts, a sort of hideous fruit, measuring three feet from wing to wing, Paul muttered, and as large as rats. We shall see them drop from their roosts as the sky darkens and flit away in search of food, Jesus said. Paul asked what food they could find in the desert, and Jesus answered: we are not many miles from Jericho and these winged rats travel a long way. In Brook Kerith they are destructive among our figs; we take many in traps. Our rule forbids us to take life, but we cannot lose all our figs. I've often wondered why we hesitate to light bundles of damp straw in these caves, for that is the way to reduce the multitudes, which are worse than the locusts, for they are eaten; and Jesus told stories of the locust-eating hermits he had known, omitting, however, all mention of the Baptist, so afraid was he lest he might provoke Paul into disputation. See, he said, that great fellow clinging to that ledge, he is beginning to be conscious of the sun setting, and a moment after the bat flopped away, passing close over their heads into the evening air, followed soon after by dozens of male and female and many half-grown bats that were a few months before on the dug, a stinking colony, that the wayfarers were glad to be rid of. But they'll be in and out the whole night, Jesus said, and I know of no other cave within reach where we can sleep safely. Sometimes the wild cats come after them and then there is much squealing. But think no more of them. I will roll up my sheepskin for a pillow for thee, and sleep as well as thou mayest, comrade, for to-morrow's march is a long one.



CHAP. XXXIX.

It was as Jesus had said, the bats kept coming in and going out all the night through, and their squeakings as they settled themselves to sleep a little before dawn awakened Paul, who, lifting his head from the sheepskin that Jesus had rolled into a comfortable pillow for him, spied Jesus asleep in a corner, and he began to ask himself if he should awaken Jesus or let him sleep a little while longer. But myself, he said, must escape from the stifle of this cave and the reek of the bats, and, dropping on his hands and knees, he crawled into the air.

It was a great joy to draw the pure air into his lungs, to drink a deep draught, and to look round for a wild cat. One may be lurking, he said, impatient for our departure, and as soon as we go will creep in and spring among the roosts and carry off the flopping, squeaking morsel. But if a cat had been there licking her fur, waiting for the tiresome wayfarers to depart, she would have remained undiscovered to Paul's eyes, so thick was the shadow, and it was a long time before the valley lengthened out and the rocks reassumed their different shapes.

He was in a long narrow valley between steep hills, with a path zigzagging up the hillside at the farther end, among rocks that set Paul thinking of the little that would remain of his sandals before they reached Caesarea.

A long day's march of twelve or thirteen hours lay before him, one that he would have been able to undertake in the old days without a thought of failure, but it was over and above his strength to-day. But was it? It seemed to him that he could walk a long way if the present breeze that had come up with the day were to continue. It came up the valley, delicious as spring water, but suddenly he recognised in it the smell of a wild animal; the sour smell of wolves, he said to himself, and looking among the rocks he spied two large wolves not more than fifty yards distant. It is fortunate, he said, that the wind is blowing from them to me, else they would have scented me; and Paul watched the lolloping gait of the wolves till they were out of sight, and then descending from the rock he returned to the cave, thinking he had done wrong to leave it, for he had entrusted himself to Jesus, and perforce to clear his conscience had to confide to him he had been out in the valley and seen two wolves go by. But they did not scent me, the wind being unfavourable. If they had, and been hungry, it might have gone hard with thee, Jesus said, and then he spoke of Bethennabrio, a village within a dozen miles of Caesarea in which Paul would sleep that night. Thou canst not get to Caesarea to-night, Jesus affirmed to him, and they resumed their journey through a country that seemed to grow more arid and melancholy as they advanced.

Paul complained often that he had come by a more direct and a better way with Timothy, but Jesus insisted that the way they were going was not many miles longer than the way Paul had come by. Moreover, the way he was taking was safer to follow. The Jews of Jericho had had many hours in which to lay plans for his capture, but Jesus thought that if Paul would believe in him he would be able to get him in safety to the village of Bethennabrio, where Paul thought he would be safe; the Jews would not dare to arrest a Roman prisoner, one who had been ordered by Festus to Italy to receive Caesar's judgment within a few miles of Caesarea. Thou'lt be within two hours of Caesarea, Jesus said, and can look forward to seeing your comrade Timothy the next day. Jesus' words brought comfort to Paul's heart and helped him to forget his feet that were beginning to pain him. But a long distance would still have to be traversed, and his eyes wandered over the outlines of the round-backed hills divided by steep valleys, so much alike that he asked himself how it was that Jesus could distinguish one from the other; but his guide seemed to divine the way as by instinct, and Paul struggled on, encouraged by a promise of a half-hour's rest as soon as they reached the summit of the hill before them. But no sooner had they reached it than Jesus said, come behind this rock and hide thyself quickly. And when he was safely hidden Jesus said, now peep over the top and thou'lt see a shepherd leading his sheep along the hillside. What of that? Paul answered, and Jesus said, not much, only I am thinking whether it would be well to let him go his way without putting a question to him, or whether it would be better to leave thee here while I go to him with the intention of finding out from him if there be tidings going about that one Paul of Tarsus, a spreader of great heresies, a pestilential fellow, a stirrer-up of sedition, has been seen wandering, trying to find his way back to Caesarea.

The shepherd was passing away over the crest of the hill when Jesus said, the pretext will come to me on my way to him. Do thou abide here till I return, and Paul watched him running, lurching from side to side over the rough ground towards the shepherd, still far away. Will he overtake him before he passes out of sight and hearing? he asked himself.

The sheep were running merrily, and the breeze carried down to Paul's ear the sound of the pipe, setting him thinking of the Patriarchs and then of his guide; only mad, he said, in one corner of his brain, convinced that he returned to the Essenes because he had said in Jerusalem that he was the Messiah. A strange blasphemy, he muttered, and yet not strange enough to save the brethren from the infection of it. It would seem that they believe with him that he suffered under Pilate, without knowing, however, for what crime he was punished; and a terrible curiosity arose in Paul to learn the true story of his guide's life, who, he judged, might be led into telling it if care were taken not to arouse his suspicion. But these madmen are full of cunning, he said to himself, and when Jesus returned Paul asked if he had discovered from the shepherd if an order was abroad from Jericho to arrest two itinerant preachers on their way to Caesarea. Jesus answered him that he had put no direct question to the shepherd. He had talked to him of the prospect of future rains, and we were both agreed, Jesus said, that the sky looked like rain, and he told me we should find water in the valley collected in pools among the rocks; he mentioned one by a group of fig-trees which we could not miss seeing. Thou art safe, Paul, have no fear for thy safe arrival at Caesarea at midday to-morrow. If a search had been ordered to arrest two wayfarers my shepherd would have heard of it, for it was about here that they would try to intercept us, and we shall do well to turn into a path that they will overlook even if they have sent out agents in pursuit of thee and Timothy.



CHAP. XL.

By midday they reached a region more rugged than the one they had come out of. The path they followed zigzagged up steep ascents and descended into crumbling valleys and plains filled with split stones, rubble and sand, a desert truly, without sign of a living thing till the shadow of an eagle's wings passed over the hot stones. Jesus told Paul that the birds nested up among the clefts yonder and were most destructive in the spring when the ewes were lambing. Having to feed three or four eaglets, he said, the birds would descend on the flocks, the she-eagle, the larger, stronger and fiercer, will attack and drive off even the dog that does not fear a wolf, yet I have seen, he continued, a timid ewe, her youngling behind her in a coign in the hill, face the bird fiercely and butt it till she lost her eyes, poor ewe, for I came up too late with my staff. And the lamb? Paul inquired: was far away, Jesus answered, aloft among the eaglets.

Jesus had stories of wolves and hyenas to beguile the way with, and he pointed with his staff to the narrow paths above them up which they would have to climb. But be not discouraged, he said, we shall be in a better country presently; as soon as we pass the hill yonder we shall begin to descend into the plain, another three leagues beyond yon hill we shall be where we bid each other farewell. Paul answered he was leaving Palestine for ever. His way was first to Italy and then to Spain and afterwards his life would be over, his mission fulfilled, but he was glad to have been to Jericho to have seen the Jordan, the river in which John had baptized Jesus. He was sorry now when it was too late that he had never been to Galilee, and Jesus told of wooded hills rising gently from the lake shore, and he took pleasure in relating the town of Magdala and the house of Dan of Arimathea, Joseph's father, and the great industry he had established there; he continued talking, showing such an intimate and personal knowledge of Galilee that Paul could not doubt that he was what he professed to be, a Nazarene. There were hundreds of Nazarenes, many of which were called Jesus: but there was only one Jesus of Nazareth. He did not say this to Jesus; but after Jesus had asked him how it was that he who had travelled the world over had never turned into Galilee, he replied that the human life of Jesus in Galilee concerned him not at all and his teaching very little. He taught all the virtues, but these were known to humanity from the beginning; they are in the law that God revealed to Moses. Even pagans know of them. The Greeks have expounded them excellently well. A teacher Jesus was and a great teacher, but far more important was the fact that God had raised him from the dead, thereby placing him above all the prophets and near to God himself. So I have always taught that if Jesus were not raised from the dead our teaching is vain. A miracle, he said, and he looked into Jesus' face just as if he suspected him to be thinking that something more than a miracle was needed to convince the world of the truth of Paul's doctrine. A miracle, to the truth of which more than five hundred have already testified. First he appeared to Mary and Martha, afterwards to Cleophas and Khuza. On the way to Emmaus he stayed and supped with them and afterwards he appeared to the twelve. Hast met all the twelve and consulted with them? Jesus asked, and Paul, a little irritated by the interruption, answered that he had seen Peter and John and James and Philip but he knew not the others; and, of course, James, the brother of the Lord. Tell me about him, Jesus answered. He admits Jesus as a prophet among the others but no more, and observes the law more strictly than any other Jew, a narrow-minded bigot that has opposed my teaching as bitterly as the priests themselves. It was he who, Paul began, but Jesus interrupted and asked about Peter. Where was he? And what doctrine is he preaching? Paul answered that Peter was at Antioch, though why he should choose to live there has always seemed strange to me, for he does not speak Greek. But what trade does he follow? Jesus asked. There are marshes and lakes about Antioch, Paul replied, and these are well stocked with fish, of a quality inferior, however, to those he used to catch in the lake of Gennesaret, but still fish for which there is some sale. He and John own some boats and they ply up and down the marshes, and draw up a living in their nets, a poor and uncertain living I believe it to be, for they are often about telling stories to the faithful of our Lord Jesus Christ, who pay them for their recitals. One is always with them, a woman called Rachel. It is said that she poisoned a rival at a wedding, a girl called Ruth whom Jesus raised from the dead. Ruth went to her husband, but Rachel followed Jesus of Nazareth.... Thou'rt a Galilean, Paul said, and know these stories better than I.

As they walked on together, Paul's thoughts returned to the miracle of his apostleship, received, he said, by me from Jesus Christ our Lord himself on the road to Damascus. Thy brethren have doubtless related the story to thee how in my journey from Jerusalem to Damascus, full of wrath to kill and to punish the saints, I was blinded by a great light from the skies, and out of a cloud Jesus Christ our Lord spoke to me: Paul! Paul! he cried, why persecutest thou me? Ever since I have preached that there is but one Mediator between God and man—Christ Jesus our Lord, and if I ran out whilst thou wast telling thy story, crying, he is mad, he is mad! it was because it seemed to me that thou wert speaking by order of the Jews who would ensnare and entrap me or for some other reason. None may divine men's desire of soul, unless an evil spirit has descended into thee I may not divine any reason for thy story. There is some mistake that none would regret more than thou, for thou wouldst hear the truth from me this day, thereby gaining everlasting life. Why dost thou not answer me, Jesus? Because thou'rt waiting to hear from me the words that our Lord Jesus Christ spoke to me? My brethren have told it to me, Jesus answered. And thou believest it not? Paul cried. I believe, Jesus answered, that the Jesus that spake to thee out of a cloud never lived in the flesh; he was a Lord Jesus Christ of thy own imagining, and I believe, too, that if we had met in Galilee thou wouldst not have heeded me, and thou wouldst have done well, for in Galilee I was but a seeker; go thou and seek and be not always satisfied with what first comes to thy hand.

These words provoked a great rage in Paul, and believing Jesus to be an evil spirit come to tempt him, he turned fiercely upon him, threatening him with his staff, bidding him begone. But as he could not desert Paul in the wilderness Jesus dropped behind him and directed Paul's journey, bidding him tread here and not there, to avoid the hill in front of him, and to keep along the valley.

In this way they proceeded for about another hour, and then Jesus cried out to Paul: yonder are the fig-trees where the shepherd told me to look for a pool among the rocks after the late rains. Art overcome, Paul, with the long march and the heat? Rest. Let me untie thy sandals. Alas! they are worn through and will scarce carry thee into Bethennabrio. But they must carry me thither, Paul answered, and if there be water in the pool after we have drunken and filled our water-bottle I'll loose the thongs and bathe my feet.

The season was advanced, but there were still leaves on the fig-trees, and among the rocks some water had collected, and having drunk and filled the water-bottle, Jesus loosed the thongs of Paul's sandals and bound his feet with some bandages torn from his own clothing. He broke the bread that the passing shepherd had given him, but Paul could eat very little so overcome was he with fatigue. I shall try to eat after I have slept a little, and having made his head comfortable with his sheepskin, Jesus watched him doze away.

Soon after the warm rocks brought sleep to Jesus' eyes, and he fell asleep trying to remember that he had nothing more explicit to rely upon than his own declaration (where should it be made, in the streets to the people or in the Sanhedrin to the priests?) that he was Jesus of Nazareth whom Pilate condemned to the cross, only his own words to convince the priests and the people that he was not a shepherd whom the loneliness of the hills had robbed of his senses. He could not bring the Essenes as testimony, nor could they if they came vouch for the whole truth of his story.



CHAP. XLI.

Hast slept well, Paul, and hath sleep refreshed thee and given thee strength to pursue thy journey? Paul answered that he was very weary, but however weary must struggle on to Caesarea. Thy strength wilt not suffer thee to get farther than Bethennabrio, and to reach Bethennabrio I must make thy sandals comfortable, Jesus answered, and on these words he knelt and succeeded in arranging the thongs so that Paul walked without pain.

They walked without speaking, Paul afraid lest some chance word of his might awaken Jesus' madness, and Jesus forgetful of Paul, his mind now set on Jerusalem, whither he was going as soon as Paul was safely out of the way of the Jews. Each shut himself within the circle of his own mind, and the silence was not broken till Paul began to fear that Jesus was plotting against him, and to distract Jesus' mind from his plots, if he were weaving any, he ventured to compare the country they were passing through with Galilee, and forthwith Jesus began to talk to Paul of Peter and John and James, sons of Zebedee, mentioning their appearances, voices, manner of speech, relating their boats, their fishing tackle, the fish-salting factory at Magdala, Dan, and Joseph his son. He spoke volubly, genially, a winning relation it was of the fishing life round the lake, without mention of miracles, for it was not to his purpose to convince Paul of any spiritual power he may have enjoyed, but rather of his own simple humanity. And Paul listened to all his narratives complacently, still believing his guide to be a madman. If thou hadst not run away crying, he is mad, he is mad! thou wouldst have heard how my crucifixion was brought about; how my eyes opened in the tomb and—— Interrupting Jesus, Paul hastened to assure him that if he cried out, he is mad, he is mad, he had spoken the words unwittingly, they were put into his mouth by the sickness in which Jesus had discovered him. And the sickness, he admitted, might have been brought about by the shock of hearing thee speak of thyself as the Messiah. But, Paul, I did not speak of myself as the Messiah, but as an Essene who during some frenzied months believed himself to be the Messiah. But, shepherd, Paul answered, the Messiah promised to the Jews was Jesus of Nazareth, who was raised by his Father from the dead, and thou sayest that thou art the same. If thou didst once believe thyself to be the Messiah thou hast repented thy blasphemy. Let us talk no more about the Messiah. In the desert these twenty years, Jesus answered. But not till now did I know my folly had borne fruit. Nor do I know now if Joseph knew that a story had been set going. It may be that the story was not set going till after his death. Now it seems too late to go into the field thou hast sown with tares instead of corn. To which Paul answered: it is my knowledge of thy seclusion among rocks that prompts me to listen to thee. The field I have sown like every other field has some tares in it, but it is full of corn ripening fast which will be ready for the reaping when it shall please the Lord to descend with his own son, Jesus of Nazareth, from the skies. As soon as the words Jesus of Nazareth had left his lips Paul regretted them, for he did not doubt that he was speaking to a madman whose name, no doubt, was Jesus, and who had come from Nazareth, and having got some inkling of the true story of the resurrection had little by little conceived himself to be he who had died that all might be saved; and upon a sudden resolve not to utter another word that might offend the madman's beliefs, he began to tell that he had brought hope to the beggar, the outcast, to the slave; though this world was but a den of misery to them, another world was coming to which they might look forward in full surety; and many, he said, that led vile lives are now God-fearing men and women who, when the daily work is done, go forth in the evening to beseech the multitude to give some time to God.

In every field there are tares, but there are fewer in my field than in any other, and that I hold to be the truth; and seeing that Jesus was listening to his story he began to relate his theology, perplexing Jesus with his doctrines, but interesting him with the glad tidings that the burden of the law had been lifted from all. If he had stopped there all would have been well, so it seemed to Jesus, whose present mind was not able to grasp why a miracle should be necessary to prove to men that the love of God was in the heart rather than in observances, and the miracle that Paul continued to relate with so much unction seemed to him so crude; yet he once believed that God was pleased to send his only begotten son to redeem the world by his death on a cross. A strange conception truly. And while he was thinking these things Paul fell to telling his dogma concerning predestination, and he was anxious that Jesus should digest his reply to Mathias, who had said that predestination conflicted with the doctrine of salvation for all. But Jesus, who was of Mathias' opinion, refrained from expressing himself definitely on the point, preferring to forget Paul, so that he might better consider if he would be able to make plain to Paul that miracles bring no real knowledge of God to man, and that our conscience is the source of our knowledge of God and that perhaps a providence nourishes beyond the world.

Meanwhile Paul continued his discourse, till, becoming suddenly aware that Jesus' thoughts were far away, he stopped speaking; the silence awoke Jesus from his meditation, and he began to compare Paul's strenuous and restless life with his own, asking himself if he envied this man who had laboured so fiercely and meditated so little. And Paul, divining in a measure the thoughts that were passing in Jesus' mind, began to speak to Jesus of our life in the flesh and its value. For is it not true, he asked, that it is in our fleshly life we earn our immortal life? But, Paul, Jesus said, it seems unworthy to love virtue to gain heaven. Is it not better to love virtue for its own sake? I have heard that question many times, Paul answered, and believe those that ask it to be of little faith; were I not sure that our Lord Jesus Christ died, and was raised by his Father from the dead, I should turn to the pleasures of this world, though there is but little taste in me for them, only that little which all men suffer, and I have begged God to redeem me from it, but he answered: my grace suffices.

A great pity for Paul took possession of Jesus, and seeking to gain him, Jesus spoke of the Essenes and their life, and the advantage it would be to him to return to the Brook Kerith. Among the brethren thou'lt seek and find thyself, and every man, he continued, is behoven sooner or later to seek himself; and thyself, Paul, if I read thee rightly, hath always been overlooked by thee, which is a fault. So thou thinkest, Jesus, that I have always overlooked myself? But which self? For there have been many selves in me. A Pharisee that went forth from Jerusalem with letters from the chief priests to persecute the saints in Damascus. The self that has begun to wish that life were over so that I may be brought to Christ, never to be separated again from him. Or the self that lies beyond my reason, that would hold me accursed from Christ, if thereby I might bring the whole world to Christ in exchange: which self of those three wouldst thou have me seek and discover in the Brook Kerith? He waited a little while for Jesus to answer, then he answered his own question: my work is my conscience made manifest, and my soul is in the Lord Jesus Christ that was crucified and raised from the dead by his Father. He lives in me, and it is by his power that I live.

The men stopped and looked into each other's eyes, and it seemed to them that no two men were so irreparably divided. Thou must bear with me, Paul, Jesus said, a little while longer, till we reach a certain hillside, distant about an hour's journey from this valley. I must see thee to a place of safety, and the thoughts in my mind I will consider while we strive up these sand-hills. Now if thy sandals hurt thee tell me and I will arrange the thongs differently. Paul answered that they were easy to wear, and they toiled up the dunes in silence, Paul thinking how he might persuade this madman to return to his cenoby and leave the world to him.

There are some, he said, as they came out of a valley, that think the time is long deferred before the Lord will come. Thou'rt Jesus of Nazareth, I deny it not, but the Jesus of Nazareth that I preach is of the spirit and not of the flesh, and it was the spirit and not the flesh that was raised from the dead. Thy doctrine that man's own soul is his whole concern is well enough for the philosophers of Egypt and Greece, but we who know the judgment to be near, and that there is salvation for all, must hasten with the glad tidings. Wilt tell me, Paul, of what value would thy teaching be if Jesus did not die on the cross? Many times and in many places I have said my teaching would be as naught if our Lord Jesus had not died, Paul answered. Are not my hands and feet testimony, Paul, that I speak the truth? Look unto them. Pilate put many beside thee on the cross, Paul replied, and, as I have told thee, my Christ is not of this world. If he be not of this world, is he God or angel? Jesus asked, and Paul said: neither, but God's own son, chosen by God from the beginning to redeem the world, not the Jews only, but all men, Gentiles and Jews alike. Thou hast asked me to look into thy hands and feet, but what testimony may be a few ancient scars to me that heard our Lord Jesus Christ speak out of the clouds? Thou wast not in the cenoby when I told my story, hoping thereby to get a dozen apostles to accompany me to Spain, a wide and difficult country I'm told, a dozen would not be too many; but thou wast not there to hear what befell me on the road to Damascus, whither I was going to persecute the saints; and again a great pity for Paul took possession of Jesus as he listened to the story. Were I to persuade him that there was no miracle, his mind would snap, Jesus said to himself, and he figured Paul wandering demented through the hills.

And when Paul came to the end of his story he seemed to have forgotten the man walking by his side. He is rapt, Jesus said to himself, in the Jesus of his imagination. And when they had walked for another hour Jesus said: seest the ridge of hills over yonder? There we shall find the village, two hours' march from Caesarea. The sea rises up in front of thee and a long meandering road will lead thee into Caesarea. At yonder ridge of hills we part. And whither goest thou? Paul asked. Returnest thou to the Brook Kerith? I know not whither I go, but a great seeming is in my heart that it will not be to the Brook Kerith nor to Jerusalem. To Jerusalem? Paul repeated. What persuasion or what desire would bring thee to that accursed city of men more stubborn than all others? I left the Brook Kerith, Paul, after listening to Hazael for a long while; he sought to dissuade me against Jerusalem, but I resisted his counsel, saying that now I knew thee to be preaching the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth from the dead, thereby leading the people astray, I must return to Jerusalem to tell the priest that he whom they believed to be raised from the dead still lived in the flesh. However mad thou beest, the priests will welcome thy story and for it may glorify thee or belike put thee on the cross again. But this is sure that emissaries will be sent to Italy and Spain, who will turn the people's mind from the truth; and the testimony of the twelve that saw Jesus and of the five hundred that saw him afterwards will be as naught; and the Jews will scoff at me, saying: he whom thou declarest was raised from the dead lives; and the Gentiles will scoff and say: we will listen to thee, Paul, another day; and the world will fall back into idolatry, led back into it by the delusions of a madman. The word of God is a weak thing, Paul, Jesus answered, if it cannot withstand and overcome the delusions of a madman, and God himself a derision, for he will have sent his son to die on the cross in vain. Of the value of the testimony of the twelve I am the better judge. Then thou goest to Jerusalem, Paul asked, to confute me? No, Paul, I shall not return to Jerusalem. Because, Paul interrupted, thou wouldst not see the world fall back into idolatry? Thou art a good man despite—— Despite my delusions, Jesus said, interrupting Paul. So thou'rt afraid the world will fall back into idolatry?—yet Jesus of Nazareth has been proclaimed by thee as the Messiah, a man above mankind. A spiritual being, higher than the angels, therefore, in a way, part and parcel of the Godhead though not yet equal to God. Thinkest, Paul, that those that come after thee will not pick up the Messiah where thou hast left him and carry him still further into deity?

It is not fear of idolatry, Paul, that turns me from Jerusalem. The world will always be idolatrous in some sort of fashion. Bear that well in mind whither thou goest. The world cannot be else than the world.

Let us sit here, Paul answered, for I would hear thee under this rock in front of this sea; thou shalt tell me how thou earnest into these thoughts. Thou, a shepherd among the Judean hills. Jesus answered him: the things that I taught in Galilee were not vain, but I only knew part of the truth, that which thou knowest, that sacrifices and observances are vain; and when I went to Jerusalem the infamy of the Temple and its priests became clear to me, and I yielded to anger, for I was possessed of a great desire to save the people. The Scribes and Pharisees conspired against me, and I was brought before the High Priest, who rent his garments. We have but little time to spend together, and rather than that story I would hear thee tell of the thoughts that came to thee whilst thou didst lead thy flocks over the hills.

For many years, Paul, there were no thoughts in my mind, or they were kept back, for I was without a belief; but thought returned to my desolate mind as the spring returns to these hills; and the next step in my advancement was when I began to understand that we may not think of God as a man who would punish men for doing things they have never promised not to do, or recompense them for abstinence from things they never promised to abstain from. Soon after I began to comprehend that the beliefs of our forefathers must be abandoned, and that if we would arrive at any reasonable conception of God, we must not put a stint upon him. And as I wandered with my sheep he became in my senses not without but within the universe, part and parcel, not only of the stars and the earth, but of me, yea, even of my sheep on the hillside. All things are God, Paul: thou art God and I am God, but if I were to say thou art man and I am God, I should be the madman that thou believest me to be. That was the second step in my advancement; and the third step, Paul, in my advancement was the knowledge that God did not design us to know him but through our consciousness of good and evil, only thus far may we know him. So thou seest, Paul, he has not written the utmost stint of his power upon us, and this being so, Paul—and who shall say that it is not so—it came to me to understand that all striving was vain, and worse than vain. The pursuit of a corruptible crown as well as the pursuit of an incorruptible crown leads us to sin. If we would reach the sinless state we must relinquish pursuit. What I mean is this, that he who seeks the incorruptible crown starts out with words of love on his lips to persuade men to love God, and finding that men do not heed him he begins to hate them, and hate leads on into persecution. Such is the end of all worship. There is but one thing, Paul, to learn to live for ourselves, and to suffer our fellows to do likewise; all learning comes out of ourselves, and no one may communicate his thought; for his thought was given to him for himself alone. Thou art where I was once, thou hast learnt that sacrifices and observances are vain, that God is in our heart; and it may be that in years to come thy knowledge will be extended, or it may be that thou hast reached the end of thy tether: we are all at tether, Paul.

Wouldst thou have me learn, Jesus, that God is to be put aside? Again, Paul, thou showest me the vanity of words. God forbid that I should say banish God from thy hearts. God cannot be banished, for God is in us. All things proceed from God; all things end in God; God like all the rest is a possession of the mind. He who would be clean must be obedient to God. God has not designed us to know him except through our conscience. Each man's conscience is a glimpse. These are some of the things that I have learnt, Paul, in the wilderness during the last twenty years. But seek not to understand me. Thou canst not understand me and be thyself; but, Paul, I can comprehend thee, for once I was thou. Whither goest thou? Paul cried, looking back. But Jesus made no answer, and Paul, with a flutter of exaltation in his heart, turned towards Caesarea, knowing now for certain that Jesus would not go to Jerusalem to provoke the Jews against him. Italy would therefore hear of the life and death of our Lord Jesus Christ that had brought salvation for all, and Spain afterwards. Spain, Spain, Spain! he repeated as he walked, filled with visions of salvation. He walked with Spain vaguely in his mind till his reverie was broken by the sound of voices, and he saw people suddenly in a strange garb going towards the hillside on which he had left Jesus; neither Jews nor Greeks were they, and on turning to a shepherd standing by he heard that the strangely garbed people were monks from India, and they are telling the people, the shepherd said, that they must not believe that they have souls, and that they know that they are saved. What can be saved but the spirit? Paul cried, and he asked the shepherd how far he was from the village of Bethennabrio. Not more than half-an-hour, the shepherd answered, and it was upon coming into sight of the village that Paul began to trace a likeness between the doctrines that Jesus had confided to him and the shepherd's story of the doctrines that were being preached by the monks from India. His thoughts were interrupted by the necessity of asking the first passenger coming from the village to direct him to the inn, and it was good tidings to hear that there was one.

However meagre the food might be, it would be enough, he answered, and while he sat at supper he remembered Jesus again, and while thinking of his doctrines and the likeness they bore to those the Indians were preaching, some words of Jesus returned to him. He had said that he did not think he was going back to the Brook Kerith, and it may well be, Paul muttered, that in saying those words he was a prophet without knowing it. The monks from India will meet him in the valley, and if they speak to him they will soon gather from him that he divined much of their philosophy while watching his flock, and finding him to be of their mind they may ask him to return to India with them and he will preach there.

Sleep began to gather in Paul's eyes and he was soon dozing, thinking in his doze how pleasant it was to lie in a room with no bats above him. A remembrance of the smell kept him awake, but his fatigue was so great that his sleep grew deeper and deeper and many hours passed over, and the people in the inn thought that Paul would never wake again. But this long sleep did not redeem him from the fatigue of his journeys. He could not set out again till late in the afternoon, and it was evening when he passed over the last ridge of hills and saw the yellow sands of Caesarea before him. The sky was grey, and the rain that Jesus had foreseen was beginning to fall, and it was through shades of evening that he saw the great mole covered with buildings stretching far into the sea. Timothy will be waiting for me at the gate if he has not fallen over a precipice, he said, and a few minutes after he caught sight of Timothy waiting for him. Paul opened his arms to him. Thoughtest that I was lost to thee for ever, Timothy? God whispered in my ears, Timothy answered, that he would bring thee back safely, and the ship is already in offing. It would be well to go on board now, for at daybreak we weigh anchor. Thou'lt sleep better on board. And Paul, who was too weary even to answer, allowed himself to be led. And, too weary to sleep, he lay waking often out of shallow sleeps. He could hear Timothy breathing by his side, and when he raised his eyes he saw the stars that were to guide them along the coasts; but the beauty of the stars could not blot out of his mind the shepherd's face: and Paul's thoughts murmured, he who believed himself the Messiah and still thinks he is Jesus of Nazareth which was raised by his Father from the dead. Yet without his help I should not have reached Caesarea. It then seemed to Paul that the shepherd was an angel in disguise sent to his aid, or a madman. A madman with a strange light in his eyes, he continued, and fell to thinking if the voice that spoke out of the cloud bore any likeness to the voice that had compelled his attention for so long a term on the hillside. But a bodily voice, he said, cannot resemble a spiritual voice, and it is enough that the Lord Jesus spoke to me, and that his voice has abided in me and become my voice. It is his voice that is now calling me to Rome, and it is his voice that I shall hear when my life is over, saying: Paul, I have long waited for thee; come unto me, faithful servant, and receive in me thy gain and the fruit of all thy labour. He repeated the words so loudly that Timothy awoke, and at the sight of the young man's face the present sank out of sight and he was again in Lystra, and on looking into the young man's eyes he knew that Timothy would remind him always of the woman in Lystra whom he would never see again. Of what art thou thinking, Paul? The voice seemed to come from the ends of the earth, but it came from Timothy's lips. Of Lystra, Timothy, that we shall never see again nor any of the people we have ever known. We are leaving our country and our kindred. But remember, Timothy, that it is God that calls thee Homeward. And they sat talking in the soft starlight of what had befallen them when they separated in the darkness. Timothy told that he remembered the way he had come by sufficiently not to fall far out of it, and that at daybreak he had met shepherds who had directed him. He had walked and he had rested and in that way managed to reach Caesarea the following evening. A long journey on foot, but a poor adventure. But thou hast been away three days, three days and three nights.... How earnest thou hither? Thy eyes are full of story. A fair adventure, Timothy, and he related his visit to the Essenes and their dwelling among the cliffs above the Brook Kerith. A fair adventure truly, Timothy. Would I'd been with thee to have seen and heard them. Would indeed that we had not been separated—— He was about to tell the shepherd's story but was stopped by some power within himself. But how didst thou come hither? Timothy asked again, and Paul answered, the Essenes sent their shepherd with me. Timothy begged Paul to tell him more about the Essenes, but the sailors begged them to cease talking, and next day the ship touched at Sidon, and Julius, in whose charge Paul had been placed, gave him the liberty to go unto his friends and to refresh himself.

The sea of Cilicia was beautifully calm, and they sailed on, hearing all the sailors, who were Greek, telling their country's legends of the wars of Troy, and of Venus whose great temple was in Cyprus. After passing Cyprus they came to Myra, a city of Cilicia, and were fortunate enough to find a ship there bound for Alexandria, sailing from thence to Italy. Julius put them all on board it; but the wind was unfavourable, and as soon as they came within sight of the Cnidus the wind blew against them and they sailed to Crete and by Salome till they came to a coast known as the Fair Havens by the city of Lasea, where much time was spent to the great danger of the ship, and also to the lives of the passengers and the crew as Paul fully warned them, the season, he said, being too advanced for them to expect fair sailings. I have fared much by land and sea, he said, and know the danger and perils of this season. He was not listened to, but the Haven being not safe in winter they loosed for Phoenice; and the wind blew softly, and they mocked Paul, but not long, for a dangerous wind arose known as euroclydon, against which the ship could not bear up, and so the crew let her drive before it till in great fear of quicksands they unloaded the ship of some cargo. And next day, the wind rising still higher, they threw overboard all they could lay hands upon, and for several days and nights the wrack was so thick and black overhead that they were driven on and on through unknown wastes of water, Paul exhorting all to be of good cheer, for an angel of God had exhorted him that night, telling that none should drown.

And when the fourteenth day was spent it seemed to the sailors that they were close upon land. Upon sounding they found fifteen fathoms, and afraid they were upon rocks, they cast out anchors. But the anchors did not hold, and the danger of drowning became so great as the night advanced that the sailors would have launched a boat, but Paul besought them to remain upon the ship; and when it was day they discovered a certain creek in which they thought they might beach the ship, which they did, and none too soon, for the ship began to break to pieces soon after. But shall our prisoners be supposed to swim ashore? the soldiers asked, and they would have killed the prisoners, but the centurion restrained them, for he was minded to save Paul's life, and all reached the shore either by swimming or clinging to wreckage which the waves cast up upon the shore.

They were then upon the island of Melita, where Paul was mistaken for a murderer because a viper springing out of a bundle of sticks fastened on his hand. But he shook off the beast into the fire and felt no harm, and the barbarians waited for him to swell and fall down suddenly, but when he showed no sign of sickness they mistook him for a god, and in fear that they would offer sacrifices in his honour, as the priests of Lystra wished to do when he bade the cripple stand straight upon his feet, he told them that he was a man like themselves; he consented, however, that they should bring him to Publius, the chief man of the island, who lay sick with fever and a flux of blood, and he rose up healed as soon as Paul imposed his hand upon him. And many other people coming, all of whom were healed, the barbarians brought him presents.

THE END