CHAPERONE. A man should never be introduced direct by card or letter to a young unmarried woman. If he desires to be introduced, the letter or card of introduction should be addressed to her chaperone or mother, who may then introduce him to the young woman if she deems it advisable.

At an entertainment a chaperone may ask a young man if he wishes to be introduced to the one under her care.

FORMULA. A good formula for men is: "Mr. Brown, may I present Mr. Clark?"

A man presenting a man friend to a woman should say: "Mr. Williams desires to be presented to Miss Wilson. Miss Wilson, allow me to introduce Mr. Williams. This is Mr. Williams, Miss Wilson."

The formality is sometimes waved, and the forms, "This is Mr. So and So, Miss Jones," "Mrs. Smith, Miss Jones," or "Allow me to present ——," are used when casual meetings occur.

PARTY INTRODUCED. After receiving call of party to whom you have been introduced, the visit should be returned. If AT HOME card was left, the call should be made only on the days specified; if an ordinary card, call at any time within three to ten days.

If the party introduced leaves town, he should send his card to his late host before leaving; upon his return, he should leave his card again.

PARTY INTRODUCING BY CARD—WOMEN. A note of explanation may be sent by party who brings about the introduction to the party to whom the introduction is made, giving such explanations as may be deemed advisable.

Two cards should be used—a person's own card and the card of the party being introduced, enclosed in envelope, and sent by mail or messenger. On the left corner over name of party introduced should be written: INTRODUCING MR. WILSON

PARTY INTRODUCING BY LETTER—WOMEN. Care should be exercised that the introduction is agreeable to all concerned.

RECEPTIONS. The man should express desire for an introduction.

WOMEN. Women calling and meeting others may be introduced to each other by the hostess. Upon such an occasion, when a meeting happens between women, conversation may take place between them without an introduction. It does not imply further acquaintance if not desired.

Extreme etiquette demands that no two women of the same locality be introduced to each other without the consent of both parties. The object of this is that, although the parties may be agreeable to the hostess, they may be objectionable to each other.

Women upon being introduced to each other may shake hands, but a slight inclination of the body, a smile, and an appropriate remark are more correct.

When entering a room where others are assembled, introducing a guest to more than one person at a time is unadvisable.

Men are introduced to women, single women to married women, and a young woman to an older one.

No woman should allow a man to be introduced to her unless her permission has been first obtained. The exception would be in the case of a very elderly man, or a celebrity, when the honor would be conferred upon her.

A married woman to whom a man is presented receives him with some pleasant remark. An unmarried one receives him with a pleasant smile and repeats his name.

Personal introduction is done by a third party introducing two persons to each other, provided it is agreeable to all concerned. Introductions should be made with extreme care and caution, and not at all unless one is well acquainted with both parties.

Outdoor Introductions—as, when meeting others, or at outdoor sports—need not be formal, but can be done haphazard. This does not imply further acquaintance if not desired.

FORMULA. A woman should introduce her husband to acquaintances as "My husband," and not "Mr."; to intimate friends as "Henry."

HOSTESS. Introductions to the hostess at an "At Home," or reception by women assisting hostess, of those who have been invited to the entertainment by them, are not recognized thereafter unless by mutual consent.

The hostess receiving in her own home should offer her hand to all to whom she is introduced.

The hostess introduces her immediate family to all her guests. No formal permission is necessary.

In the case of one woman desiring an introduction to another, the hostess should be asked to bring this about.



INTRODUCTION, LETTERS OF. The introduction of one person to another by letter is as follows: The party introducing writes the name of the party he introduces upon his own card, and above his name the words: Introducing Mr. Wilson (his friend's name). It is then placed in an envelope and addressed to the person to whom the introduction is to be made. On the lower left-hand corner of the envelope, Introducing Mr. Wilson, is written, and given to the bearer unsealed.

The party to whom a letter of introduction is given should send it by mail to the party they desire to be introduced to, enclosing their own card with address, and then await invitation to call.

This is preferable to calling in person, as it may not be agreeable or desirable for the party to open and begin such an acquaintance.

In business introduction, such formality may be set aside.

If a letter of introduction is personally delivered, the party presenting it should also enclose card.

If the party called upon is not at home, the letter or card should not be left, but sent by mail or messenger.

The one giving another a letter of introduction may write to the friend explaining why it is done, who and what the party is.

If a man sends a letter of introduction to a woman, she should acknowledge it, and, if she wishes, invite him to call.

PARTY RECEIVING—WOMEN. The party receiving cards of introduction should call in person upon woman introduced; if unable to do so, a letter should be sent, stating reasons of inability to be present. A member of the family may make the call instead. It should be done within three days.

If not agreeable to receive party for any reason, a card may be sent or left. No personal visit need be made.



INVALID'S CALLS. A woman unable to call from sickness may have her calls made for her by her sister, or daughter, or some female relative.



INVITATIONS. Care should be exercised in inviting new acquaintances to breakfast, luncheon, or dinner, unless there are some particular reasons why they will be especially agreeable to those invited.

All invitations should be sent by mail.

Verbal invitations should be avoided as much as possible, and if a verbal one is given, it should be followed immediately by one in writing.

ACCEPTING OR DECLINING. Invitations to all entertainments, when answers are expected, should be acknowledged by a written letter of acceptance or regret. The answer should be sent to the person or committee issuing the invitation.

Invitations to dinners, musicales, weddings, and breakfasts should be answered at once, and those to balls, dances, and receptions within one week.

Invitations to ordinary "At Homes," teas, or weddings, which do not include invitations to the wedding breakfast or reception, need no acknowledgment.

The invitations sent to a family—as, mother, or daughter, or several daughters— may be answered by one person for all. But invitations sent to the men of the family should be answered by each man.

When it is found necessary to decline after accepting an invitation, a card should be sent the evening of the entertainment with an explanatory letter the day following.

BALLS. Invitations to balls or assemblies should be answered immediately, and if declined the ticket should be returned.

DANCING. While a woman may accept or decline any invitation to dance, it is considered a discourteous act to refuse one man and to accept thereafter from another an invitation to the same dance.

WEDDINGS. Such invitations should be answered at once, except when the invitation does not include an invitation to the wedding reception or breakfast, in which case no answer is needed.

ADDRESSING. When invitations are sent to a husband and wife and daughter, only one envelope is needed, the daughter's name appearing under her parents. Separate envelopes should be addressed to two daughters—as, Misses Wilson.

Separate envelopes should be addressed to each son.

MEN. If an invitation is sent to a man, he should answer it himself; but if sent to a man and wife, the latter may answer for both.

TO CALL WITH CHAPERONE'S PERMISSION. If permission is asked, and if agreeable, a chaperone should invite a man to call upon her and her protege.

Every effort should be made to call at the specified time.

TO CALL ON WOMEN. If a woman invites a man to call without specifying the time, it is equivalent to no invitation at all.

TO CALL ON WOMEN THROUGH LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION. If a man having a letter of introduction sends the same by mail to a woman, it should be acknowledged by a written invitation to call. If the person receiving the letter does not care to receive the party, a card is sent which ends the matter.

R. S. V. P. The use of these letters—standing for "Repondez, s'il vous plait" (Answer, if you please)—is decreasing. All invitations bearing these letters should be answered at once.

These may be used on invitations to ceremonious receptions, breakfasts, luncheons, dinners, and to meet a prominent person.

WIFE. When a husband and wife are invited to a dinner, and the former does not accept, the wife should also decline and give her reasons. The hostess can then invite the wife only, who may accept.

WOMEN. A young woman receiving an invitation to a man's supper, tea, or dinner, may accept, if she has the consent of her mother or chaperone, and is assured that a chaperone will be present.

WOMEN—THEATRE. Women receiving an invitation from a man for the theatre should have the consent of mother or chaperone, and when they accept, may, with propriety, request their escort not to provide a carriage unless full dress on their part is requested.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS—INVITATIONS. AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL)—INVITATIONS.

AT HOMES. See AT HOMES—INVITATIONS.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS—INVITATIONS.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELORS' TEAS—INVITATIONS.

BALLS. See BALLS—INVITATIONS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS—INVITATIONS.

BRIDE. See BRIDE—INVITATIONS.

CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENINGS—INVITATIONS.

COTILLIONS. See COTILLIONS—INVITATIONS. See COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS—INVITATIONS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES—INVITATIONS.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS—INVITATIONS.

PARTIES. See PARTIES—INVITATIONS.

TELEPHONE. See TELEPHONE INVITATIONS.

THEATRE. See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES GIVEN BY MEN—INVITATIONS.

VERBAL. See VERBAL INVITATIONS.



IVORY WEDDING. This is the thirtieth wedding anniversary, and is not usually celebrated. If, however, it is done, the invitations may bear the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and in accepting or declining the invitation congratulations may be extended. Any article of ivory is appropriate as a gift. An entertainment is usually provided.



JEWELRY—MEN. Jewelry, except the very plainest, should not be worn, and in general the less the better. A display of diamonds and fancy jewelry betrays the poor taste of the wearer.

A man wearing the pins and badges of secret societies should see that they are small and unobtrusive, for in jewelry, as in all matters of dress, quality rather than quantity is to be desired.



JR. When the son is named after the father, he adds Jr. to his name. Upon the death of the father he omits it. This abbreviation is sometimes added to a woman's name on her card when her husband has the same name as his father, and it is necessary to distinguish between the cards of the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law.

If the mother-in-law should become a widow and wish to retain the husband's baptismal name, she should add Sr., while her daughter would erase Jr.

If both become widows, and wish to retain their husband's Christian names, the daughter-in-law should add Jr.



JUSTICE OF THE UNITED STATES SUPREME COURT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Justice Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Mr. Justice John J. Wilson.



KING OF ENGLAND—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, may it please your Majesty, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Majesty's most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Majesty's most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To His Most Gracious Majesty, King Edward.



KISS, WEDDING. The kiss in the wedding ceremony is being done away with, especially at church weddings. Only the bride's parents and her most intimate friends should kiss her, and for others to do so is no longer good form.



KNIFE AND FORK. The knife is always held in the right hand, and is only used for cutting the food. The fork is used not only in eating fish, meat, vegetables, and made dishes, but also ices, frozen puddings, melons, salads, oysters, clams, lobsters, and terrapin.

The knife should never be used to carry food to the mouth.

See also SPOON.



KNIGHT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain, sir, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Sir John Wilson, and ends: Believe me, dear Sir John, faithfully yours.

The address on the envelope is: To Sir John Wilson.

WIFE OF. See Wife of Knight.



LAUNDRESS—TIPS. Guests at the end of a house party do not tip the laundress unless she has done special work for them.



LEATHER WEDDING. This is the twelfth anniversary of the wedding-day, and is not usually observed. If, however, it is observed, the invitations may bear the words: No presents received, and congratulations may be extended in its acceptance or declination. Any article of leather would be an appropriate gift. An entertainment usually follows.



LETTERS.

ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING AND SIGNING LETTERS, and also under title of person addressed —as, GOVERNOR, MAYOR, etc.

WRITTEN AFTER HOUSE PARTIES. If the visit has been more than two days in length, a guest should write to the hostess a short letter, telling of his pleasant visit and safe journey home.

CONCLUSION OF. See CONCLUSION OF A LETTER.

OF CONDOLENCE. See CONDOLENCE, LETTERS OF.

OF INTRODUCTION. See INTRODUCTION, LETTERS OF.



LETTUCE leaves should not be cut, but folded up with a fork, and then lifted to the mouth. In the event of these being too large for this treatment, they should be broken into suitable pieces with the fork.



LICENSE, MARRIAGE. A license, when required by State law, should be obtained by the groom and handed to the officiating clergyman the day before the ceremony. Usually a small fee is charged, and the details, when entered upon the clerk's records, are open to public inspection. The day need not be named, and until the marriage is solemnized the license has no binding effect.



LUNCHEONS. Usually only women are invited to these entertainments. Oddities, such as pink, blue, and yellow luncheons, are not in good taste. They should be as simple as possible.

Informal luncheons are the same as informal breakfasts. A more formal luncheon is proper when introducing a special guest.

Small tables are used, and diagrams of their arrangement are placed in the dressing-room, designating the places of the guests.

CALLS. Calls should be made a week after entertainment.

WOMEN. Women dress in visiting toilettes and wear their bonnets, laying aside their wraps in the dressing-room. Gloves should be removed at table.

After coffee, the guests should take their leave, making some gracious remark to the hostess.

Calls should be made a week after the entertainment.

GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See Bachelors' Luncheons.

GUESTS. Only women, as a rule, attend luncheons. For further details, see LUNCHEONS—WOMEN.

HOSTESS. Introductions take place in the parlor. At the appointed hour the hostess leads the way to the drawing-room, followed by the guests.

The hostess and principal guest should sit at one of the centre-tables. Between the courses the hostess and two of the women seated with her rise and change seats with others. This may be done by others also if they desire. They take their napkins with them.

HOURS. The hour is from 1 to 2 P.M.

INTRODUCTIONS. Introductions take place in the parlor.

INVITATIONS. Cards are engraved, and sent two weeks in advance.

MEN—LEAVING CARDS. If men are invited, they should, after a luncheon, leave a card for host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not; or it may be sent by mail or messenger, with an apology for so doing.



MAIDS—TIPS. It is customary for guests leaving after a visit at a private house to remember the maid who has taken care of the room by giving her a reasonable tip. A woman should give more for extra attention.



MAID OF HONOR. This important person is selected by the bride, and acts for her in all details, being virtually mistress of ceremonies and filling a position requiring administrative ability and tact. She acts in the same capacity as the best man does for the groom.

She is invited, of course, to the dinner given by the bride to the bridesmaids.

She fulfils whatever duties the bride has been unable, from press of time, to attend to —as, making calls, etc.

CHURCH. She goes to the church with one of the parents of the bride, and meets the bride and the bridesmaids in the vestibule. In the procession she follows behind the bridesmaids, and precedes the flower girl, if there is one—otherwise the bride. On their arrival at the altar she takes her place by the side of the bride, and is ready at the plighting of the troth to take the bride's glove and bouquet, and returns them to her at the end of the ceremony.

After the congratulations of the clergyman, she parts the bridal veil, arranges the bride's train, and follows the bride down the aisle to the vestibule.

Here, after giving her best wishes to the bride, she takes her carriage to the bride's house to take part in the reception or breakfast.

DAY OF WEDDING. She should be at the house of the bride on the morning of the wedding-day to assist the bride's mother, to see that the trousseau is all ready and packed, that the bridesmaids are on time, and to attend to the many details liable to arise.

DRESS. Her dress should be some delicate color other than white, so as not to detract from the bride, and should be subdued in comparison. It may be, and usually is, more elegant in quality than that of the bridesmaids.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The best man escorts the maid of honor, and they are usually seated at the bridal table.

WEDDING RECEPTION. She stands next the bride to receive with her, and also retires with her to assist the latter in exchanging her wedding dress for the traveling-dress.

It is her privilege to cast a slipper at the carriage which takes away the married couple, and her duty to prepare packages of rice, which are given to the guests to be thrown after the married couple as they leave the house.



MAIL, INVITATIONS SENT BY. All invitations should be sent by mail and verbal ones avoided.



MAIL OR MESSENGER, SENDING CARDS BY. See CARDS, VISITING—SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER.



MAN SERVANTS—TIPS. It is customary for a man, at the end of a house party, to give to the man servant who has acted as his valet a suitable tip.



MARCHIONESS-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Most Noble the Marchioness of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent, very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Marchioness of Kent.



MARCHIONESS, DOWAGER—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent, very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope in both cases is: To the Dowager Marchioness of Kent, or To Mary, Marchioness of Kent.



MARQUIS—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: My Lord Marquis, and ends: I have the honor to be your Lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Most Noble the Marquis of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lord Kent and ends: Believe me, Lord Kent, very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Marquis of Kent.



MARQUIS.

DAUGHTER OF. See DAUGHTER OF MARQUIS.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF. See WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF MARQUIS.

YOUNGER SON OF. See SON (YOUNGER) OF MARQUIS.



MARKING WEDDING PRESENTS. While it is not strictly necessary that wedding presents be marked, yet it is customary, and they should always be marked with the bride's maiden name, unless specially intended for the groom's individual use.



MATINEES. Proper music should be provided.

The refreshment-room should be within easy reach. Light dainties should be served occasionally to those not caring to go to the refreshment-room.

DRESS. If after six o'clock, evening dress should be worn; otherwise, afternoon dress.

HOST. The head of the house need not be present.

HOSTESS. The hostess and those assisting her should not dance, unless all her guests are provided with partners or are otherwise entertained.

INVITATIONS. These may be written or engraved, with Dancing and the hour for beginning in the lower left-hand corner. They should be sent two weeks in advance, and should be promptly answered.

MEN. Gloves should be worn when dancing. See also BALLS. COTILLIONS. DANCES. DANCING.



MAYOR OF A CITY—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, or Your Honor, and ends: I have the honor, sir, to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mayor Wilson, or, Dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: His Honor, the Mayor of Kent, John J. Wilson.



MEN.

ADDRESSING ENVELOPES. See ADDRESSING ENVELOPES—MEN.

AFTERNOON DRESS. See AFTERNOON DRESS—MEN.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS—MEN.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS—MEN.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELORS' TEAS—MEN.

BALLS. See BALLS—MEN.

BICYCLING. See BICYCLING—MEN.

BOWING. See BOWING—MEN.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS—MEN.

CALLS. See CALLS—MEN.

CARDS. See CARDS, VISITING—MEN.

CHAPERONES. See CHAPERONES—MEN.

CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENINGS—MEN.

CONCLUSION OF LETTERS. See CONCLUSION OF A LETTER—MEN.

COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS—MEN.

DANCES. See DANCES—MEN.

DANCING. See DANCING—MEN.

DEBUTANTE. See DEBUTANTE—MEN.

DINNERS. See DINNERS—MEN.

DRIVING. See DRIVING—MEN.

DRESS. See DRESS—MEN.

ENGAGEMENT. See ENGAGEMENT—MEN.

EVENING DRESS. See EVENING DRESS—MEN.

FLOWERS. See FLOWERS—MEN.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS—MEN.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES—MEN.

GLOVES. See GLOVES—MEN.

HIGH TEA. See HIGH TEA—MEN.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES—MEN.

INTRODUCTIONS. See INTRODUCTIONS—MEN.

INVITATIONS. See INVITATIONS—MEN.

JEWELRY. See JEWELRY—MEN.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS—MEN.

MORNING DRESS. See MORNING DRESS—MEN.

MOURNING. See MOURNING—MEN.

NEWCOMER, RESIDENTS' DUTY TO. See NEWCOMER, RESIDENTS' DUTY TO MEN. RIDING. See RIDING—MEN.

SALUTATIONS. See SALUTATIONS—MEN.

SHAKING HANDS. See SHAKING HANDS—MEN.

STATIONERY. See STATIONERY—MEN.

STREET-CARS. See STREET-CARS—MEN.

STREET ETIQUETTE. See STREET ETIQUETTE—MEN.

THEATRE PARTIES. See THEATRE PARTIES—MEN.

TITLES. See TITLES—MEN.

TRAVELING. See TRAVELING—MEN.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS—MEN.



MESSENGER, SENDING CARDS BY. See CARDS, VISITING— SENDING BY MAIL OR MESSENGER.



MINISTER (PROTESTANT)-HOW ADDRESSED, An official letter begins: Reverend Dear Sir, and ends: I remain sincerely yours.

A social letter begins: Dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I beg to remain sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: The Reverend John J. Wilson. but if the clergyman holds the degree of D.D. (Doctor of Divinity), the address may be: The Reverend John J. Wilson, D.D., or Reverend Dr. John J. Wilson.



MINISTER. See CLERGYMAN.



MISS. This is the prefix both in conversation, correspondence, and on the visiting-card of the eldest daughter, the next daughter being known as Miss Annie Smith; but on the death or marriage of the eldest daughter, she becomes Miss Smith.



MONOGRAMS. If men and women wish, these may be stamped in the latest colors on their stationery. When the address is stamped, it is not customary to stamp the monogram.

The latest fashion in the style of monograms require that they should be the size of a ten-cent piece.

All individual eccentricities of facsimiles of handwriting, etc., should be avoided.

It is not customary to have the monogram on the flap of the envelope.

If sealing-wax is used, it should be of some dull color.



MORNING DRESS. MEN. Morning costume consists of a dark frock coat, with vest and light trousers. This can be worn at any entertainment occurring in the daytime—as, weddings, luncheons, receptions of all kinds, matinees, or ceremonious visits.

Anything worn is admissible in morning dress, a business suit, cutaway, sack suit, hats or caps, and undressed kid gloves of a dark color.

At out-of-town resorts, golf, wheeling, and yachting costumes suitable for outdoor sport may be worn in the morning.

It is considered the correct thing for a man to tie his own tie instead of buying them ready made.

See also AFTERNOON DRESS—MEN. EVENING DRESS—MEN.



MOTHER. A mother should receive an invitation for any function to which her daughters are invited, and should go and return with them.

DEBUTS. The mother and the elder unmarried daughter, prior to the debut, calls formally upon those who are to be invited. She stands at her daughter's side to receive the congratulations of the guests, and at a dance she selects the first partner to dance with the debutante, and at the dinner or supper is escorted by the most distinguished man. See also CHAPERONE.



MOTHER OF BRIDE. At the wedding reception she is escorted by the father of the groom, and receives with the married couple.

At the wedding breakfast she is escorted by the father of the groom.



MOTHER OF GROOM. At the wedding reception she receives with the married couple.

At the wedding breakfast she is taken in by the father of the bride, following after the ushers and the maids of honor.



MOURNING. Those in mourning for parent, child, brother, or husband should not be seen at any public function or private entertainment before six months have passed.

CARDS. These are the same size as visiting-cards. A black border is used, the width to be regulated by the relationship to the deceased relative.

They should be sent to indicate temporary retirement from and re-entrance into society.

Within a month after death in a family friends should leave cards. The persons receiving the same should acknowledge the remembrance and sympathy when they are ready to resume their social functions. This may be done by letter or card.

MEN. Mourning cards are the same size as visiting-cards, and a black border is used, the width to be regulated by the relationship of deceased relative.

WOMEN. Mourning cards should be sent, to indicate temporary retirement from society. Later cards should be sent, to indicate return to society.

CHILDREN. Children under twelve need not be dressed in mourning, though they often are. Only the lightest material should be used. Girls of more advanced age do not wear veils, but crape may be worn in hat or dress, according to taste.

For parent, brother, or sister, mourning is worn for about one year.

MEN. Men wear mourning one year for loss of wife.

A crape band should be worn around the hat, its width being determined by the nearness of the relative mourned for. It is usually removed after eight months.

A widower wears mourning for one year, or, if he wishes, eighteen months, and for a brother, sister, parent, or a child, from six months to a year, as he desires. For the loss of other relatives, duration of mourning is generally regulated by the members of the family.

The wearing of a black band on the coat sleeve in token of half-mourning is an English custom, and is somewhat practised in this country.

STATIONERY-MEN. A widower uses a black border about one-third of an inch on his stationery, and this at intervals is diminished.

All stamping should be done in black.

WOMEN. A widow's stationery should be heavily bordered, and is continued as long as she is in deep mourning. This is gradually decreased, in accordance with her change of mourning.

All embossing or stamping should be done in black.

WEDDINGS. Mourning should never be worn at a wedding, but it should be laid aside temporarily, the wearer appearing in purple.

WIDOWS. A widow should wear crape with a bonnet having a small border of white. The veil should be long, and worn over the face for three months, after which a shorter veil may be worn for a year, and then the face may be exposed. After six months white and lilac may be used, and colors resumed after two years.

WOMEN. The mourning dress of a woman for parent, sister, brother, or child is the same as that worn by a widow, save the white bonnet ruche—the unmistakable mark of a widow.

For parents and children, deepest mourning is worn at least one year, and then the change is gradually made by the addition of lighter material or half-mourning.

For other members of the family—as, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc.—black clothes should be worn, but not heavy mourning.

Complimentary mourning is worn for three months; this does not necessitate crape and veil, but any black material can be used.

WOMEN, FOR CHILDREN. For a child, mourning is usually worn for six months, thereafter substituting black and white.

FOR BROTHER AND SISTER, ETC. Mourning for a brother or sister, step-parents, or grandparents is the same as for parents, but the time is shorter, generally about six months. For an aunt, uncle, or cousin the time is three months.

FOR FIANCE. In the event of the death of a woman's betrothed shortly before the date of the wedding, she may wear black for a short period or full mourning for a year.

FOR HUSBANDS. Mourning cards are sent out, to indicate that they are not making or receiving calls.

Mourning is generally worn for two years, and sometimes much longer. Woolen material of the deepest black and crape should be worn during the first year.

When out-of-doors a crape veil should be worn for a year, or at least three months, covering the face, or, if preferred, the veil may be thrown over the shoulder, and a small one of tulle, or other suitable material, edged with crape, worn over the face.

A crape bonnet should be worn, and a very small white ruche may be added if desired.

After the first year a gradual change to lighter mourning may be made by discarding the widow's cap and shortening the veil. Dull silks are used in place of crape, according to taste. In warm weather lighter materials can be worn—as, pique, nun's veiling, or white lawn.

Black furs and sealskin may be worn. Precious stones, such as diamonds and pearls, may be used if mounted in black enamel. Gold jewelry should not be used. A woman should avoid all pretensions to excessive styles.

FOR HUSBAND'S RELATIVES. A married woman wears mourning for her husband's immediate relatives.

FOR PARENTS AND GRANDCHILDREN. Mourning for these persons is generally worn for one year. During the first six months, black material trimmed with crape is used, and also a deep veil, which is thrown over the back of the head and not worn over the face, as for a husband. After this period the mourning may be lightened, according to taste.

See also DEATH IN THE FAMILY. FUNERALS.



MR. AND MRS. CARDS ( VISITING). These cards are not generally used for ceremonious calls after the first series of return calls made by the bride.

If the husband is unable, the first year after marriage, to make formal calls, his wife uses the Mr. and Mrs. cards, and such is accepted as a call from him. But after one year she should leave their separate cards.

These are used on formal occasions-as, returning a first call, condolence, congratulations, or P. P. C.—when both the husband and wife are represented.

When they are used the first year after marriage, they should have the address in right-hand corner and reception days in lower left-hand corner.

The card should read: Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Wren Wilson



MUSIC.

WEDDINGS. The organist and the music are usually selected by the bride. Before her arrival, the organist plays some bright selection; but on her entering the church and passing up the aisle, he plays the wedding march.

AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL). Music is always appropriate on these occasions.



MUSICALES.

DRESS. The rule would be that at an afternoon affair afternoon dress would be worn, and evening dress at an evening affair.

HOURS. For an afternoon musicale, the hours are usually from four to six. For an elaborate evening drawing-room concert, any hour may be selected.

INVITATIONS. These are sent out two weeks before the event. If entertainment is in the evening, they should be issued by husband and wife. If given in honor of a prominent person at any hour whatever, the cards should be engraved, and in either case the word Music should appear in the lower left- hand corner.

These should be acknowledged at once by a letter of acceptance or regret.



NAPKINS, when in use, are laid on the lap, and, when finished with, are not folded up unless one is a guest for a few days; on all other occasions they are left unfolded. A good plan is to follow the example of the hostess.

When fruit is brought on, a small fruit napkin is placed across the knee or held in the right hand, with which to hold the fruit, and when it is no longer needed, it should be laid beside the plate.



NAVY, SECRETARY OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John J. Wilson, Secretary of the Navy.



NEW ACQUAINTANCES.

WOMEN. New acquaintances should not be invited to entertainments unless agreeable to all concerned.

An entertainment can be given to meet new acquaintances if there be some special reason for so doing.

Elderly persons and professional people can send their cards to younger persons if they wish to continue acquaintance.



NEWCOMERS.

BALL INVITATIONS. It is allowable for a new- comer wishing to give a ball to borrow the visiting list of some friend; but she should enclose in each invitation a calling card of this friend, so that the invited ones may know that the friend is acting as a sponsor.

DUTY OF. No effort should be made to obtain recognition of older residents.

Visits from neighbors should be returned within a week. If from any reason a newcomer is unable to call, a note stating the reason should be sent.

If visit of neighbor's male relative is desired, a woman may send him a written or verbal invitation; but if visit is not desired, no notice is taken of his card, in the event of one having been left.

RESIDENTS' DUTY TO MEN. When calling, kinswoman leaves cards of all the male members of family who are in society. If these cards left by kinswoman are not followed by an invitation to call, it is presumed that the acquaintance is not desired. Men can not call upon women of the family of new resident, unless invited to do so by either verbal or written message.

RESIDENTS' DUTY TO WOMEN. The newcomer receives the first call from the older resident, which should be made within a reasonable time. Women making the first call, leave their own card and those of the male members of the family.

It is unnecessary to be introduced in the absence of letters of introduction. Visits should be of short duration.



OLIVES are eaten with the fingers.



OPERA. See THEATRE.



ORANGES, served in divided sections, sweetened, and the seeds removed, should be eaten with the fork. If served whole, cut into suitable portions. Remove seed and skin.



ORGANIST AT WEDDINGS. The organist is selected by the bride, but the fee is paid by the groom.



OVERCOAT—MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. When making a formal or brief call, the overcoat should be left in the hall.



P. P. C. CARDS (VISITING). These letters—standing for Pour prendre conge (To take leave)—are written in the lower left-hand corner of the visiting-card. These cards are used as a formal farewell to such friends and acquaintances whose friendship it is desired to continue.

They may be left in person, or sent upon departure from city or winter or summer resort. They are rarely used in brief visits, and should only be used at the close of a season.

Care should be exercised in sending them, as an oversight in so doing may cause the loss of good friends.



PAGES AT WEDDINGS. At the wedding, if pages are present, they are usually dressed in satin court costumes, and carry the bride's train.



PALL-BEARERS. It is not good taste to ask relatives to be pall-bearers. The usual number is six to eight elderly men for elderly person, and of young men for a young man. Six young women in white would be a suitable number to act as pall-bearers for a young woman.

Pall-bearers should be asked either by note or by a representative of the head of the family of the deceased.

The pall-bearers assemble at the house at the appointed hour, and there take the carriages reserved for them. They disperse after the church service.

Except in the case of young women, carriages are not sent to bring pall-bearers to the house.

CALLS. After accepting an invitation to act as a pall-bearer, a man should call at the house of the bereaved and leave his card.

A few days after the funeral he should call again and leave his card. If he wishes, he may simply ask at the door after the women of the family.

DRESS. The pall-bearers wear black frock coat, trousers, and waistcoat, a black silk hat with a mourning band, black shoes, and black kid gloves. The linen should be white

FLOWERS. Unless there has been a request not to send flowers, a pall-bearer may do so after his first call.

If he wishes, a few days after the funeral he may send flowers to the women of the family with his card, on which should be written: With the compliments of ——-.

INVITATIONS. The invitation should be promptly accepted or declined, and if accepted only illness or unavoidable absence from the city would excuse a man from attending.



PAPER WEDDING. The first wedding anniversary is called the paper wedding, and is not usually celebrated. If, however, it is celebrated, the invitations may bear the words: No presents received. Congratulations should be extended in accepting or declining the invitations. Any article of paper would be an appropriate gift. An entertainment should follow.



PARTIES. These are less formal than balls.

They generally begin at nine or nine-thirty, with dancing at ten-thirty or eleven. The supper precedes the dancing. Those who do not take part in the dancing may leave before it begins.

INVITATIONS. These are engraved, giving hour for beginning in lower left-hand corner, and should be sent two weeks in advance. One envelope only need be used. They should be answered promptly.



PATRONESSES. It is customary for the management of any institution giving a public ball to formally invite six, eight, or more married women to act as patronesses, and for their names to appear on the invitations. If badges are worn, each patroness is sent one or given one at the ball-room.

The patronesses, after being welcomed at the ball by the management committees, take their places, ready to receive the guests.

The Committee of Arrangements should look after the patronesses, introduce distinguished guests to them, escort them to supper and finally to their carriages.

See also COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS— PATRONESSES. DANCES.



PEACHES should be quartered and the quarters peeled, then taken up by the fingers and eaten.



PEAS are eaten with a fork.



PLUMS AND GRAPES should be eaten one by one, and the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the half-closed hand and then transferred to the plate.



POSTAL CARDS. It is wise to restrict the use of postals to impersonal communications; but if they must be used, the message should be brief with an apology for its use. It is a good plan in addition to omit the usual My dear, and to sign with the initials only and the full surname.



POSTPONING DINNERS See CANCELING DINNERS.



POSTPONING WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS—INVITATIONS RECALLED.



PRECEDENCE.

DINNERS. See DINNERS—PRECEDENCE.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS—PRECEDENCE.

THEATRE. See THEATRE—PRECEDENCE.



PRESENTS. See GIFTS.



PRESIDENT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. President, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: President John Wilson.



PRINCE, ROYAL—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, may it please your Royal Highness, and ends: I have the honor to remain, sir, your Royal Highness' humble servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Sir, and ends: Your Royal Highness' most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales.

PRINCESS, 'ROYAL-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, may it please your Royal Highness, and ends: Your Royal Highness' most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Madam, and ends: Your Royal Highness' most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To Her Royal Highness, the Princess of Wales.



PRIVATE WEDDINGS. These are attended only by intimate friends and members of the family, and vary but little from home weddings.

If the family is in mourning the cards are issued with the name of bride and groom and new address, together with card having bride's maiden name, and the announcement cards are sent after the ceremony.

Afternoon dress should be worn at an afternoon wedding, and evening dress at an evening wedding.



PROPOSALS OF MARRIAGE. The time, manner, and details of proposals of marriage are appropriately left to the good taste and judgment of the groom. If the proposal is rejected, good taste, womanly refinement, and courteous consideration demand that it be kept an inviolate secret, and any such breach of confidence may be rightly deemed the act of a woman without taste or tact, and unworthy of respect.

Proposals by women, while permissible, are not customary.



PUBLIC BALLS, By public balls are meant county and charity balls, and balls given by social institutions where dancing is the main feature. These public balls differ from private ones in that all the duties of the hostess fall upon some committees.

These committees would follow the same rules as laid down for a hostess—issuing engraved invitations from fourteen to seventeen days in advance, engaging a caterer, etc.

The etiquette for a public ball is the same as for a private one, save that guests arrive and depart when they please without taking leave of those who receive, and men wishing introductions apply for them to the Floor or Reception Committee.

At the cloak-rooms a small fee is paid to the attendant.

SEE ALSO all entries under Balls.

BADGES. It is customary for the men and women on the committees to wear on the left side of the breast ornamental and embroidered badges, with the official position designated on it.

COMMITTEE. The committee at a public ball takes the place of the hostess, filling all her duties and offices.

PATRONESSES. It is customary for the management formally to invite six, eight, or more married women to act as patronesses of the ball, and for their names to appear on the invitations. If badges are prepared for the patronesses, one is sent to each patroness or handed to her on the evening of the dance.

The patronesses should be welcomed at the ball by the management, and they then take their position ready to receive the guests.

The management should look after the patronesses, to see that they are taken into supper, to introduce prominent guests to them, and, finally, to escort the patronesses to their carriages.



PUBLIC PLACES. SEE ALSO ELEVATORS. RESTAURANTS, STREET-CARS. STREET ETIQUETTE.



R. S. V. P. The use of these letters-standing for Repondez, s'il vous plait (Answer, if you please)-is decreasing. All invitations to which acceptances are expected should be answered at once. If preferred, however, the above abbreviations may be used on the following: invitations to ceremonious receptions, breakfasts, luncheons, dinners, and to meet a prominent person.



RAILROAD-MEN. A man should remove his hat in a parlor-car, but not in a day coach.



RECALLING WEDDING INVITATIONS. When from some good reason a wedding has to be canceled or postponed, the parents of the bride should send, as soon as possible, printed notices, giving reasons to all the guests.



RECEPTIONS. Reception days are placed in the lower left-hand corner of visiting-cards-as, UNTIL LENT, or, In JANUARY-and may be either engraved or written.

Daughters have no reception day of their own, but receive on their mother's reception day.

The etiquette at receptions is the same as at afternoon teas.

SEE ALSO AFTERNOON TEAS. AT HOMES.

HOURS. Afternoon receptions are held from 4 to 7 P.M.

Evening receptions are held from 9 to 11 P.M.

INVITATIONS, ACCEPTING OR DECLINING. These should be acknowledged within a week, either by a letter accepting, or declining with regret.

INTRODUCTIONS. The man should seek an introduction to any woman he wants to meet.

The hostess makes what introductions she deems proper.

DRESS. For an afternoon reception guests should wear afternoon dress, and for an evening reception evening dress.

AFTERNOON, GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See BACHELORS' TEAS.

EVENING. The etiquette is the same as for an afternoon tea (formal), save that no cards are left by the guests, and that the guests should wear evening dress.

See also AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

WEDDING. See WEDDING RECEPTIONS.



REFRESHMENTS.

WEDDING RECEPTIONS. The refreshments are placed on tables, and the guests help themselves or are helped by the bridesmaids. The groom and bride are waited upon by the guests.



REGISTER, SIGNING OF. This is sometimes done by the bride and the groom. This takes place in the vestry, and the best man signs as chief witness and some of the guests as witnesses.



REHEARSALS, WEDDING. Rehearsals should be held even for a quiet home wedding, and at a sufficiently early date to insure the presence of all who are to participate.



REPORTERS AT WEDDINGS. If such is the wish of the family of the bride, the best man attends to the reporters, and furnishes them with the names of groom, bride, relatives, friends, description of gowns, and other suitable details.



RESIDENCE, CHANGE OF—WOMEN. After a change of residence, the cards of the entire family should be sent out as soon as possible.



RESTAURANTS. If at a table, and a woman bows, the man should rise and bow in return. If a man is one of a party sitting at a table, and a woman with her escort stops to pass greetings, he should rise and stand until they depart.

One man introduced to another who is surrounded by male friends should rise to acknowledge the honor of the introduction.

When a man is with a woman he should exercise great care in recognizing male acquaintances who may be in doubtful company. He should avoid being in such company himself when in such places.

Smoking in restaurants is a general custom. The rules of the house govern this.

All fees to the waiters should be paid by the one who pays the bills. If a woman is paying her own bill when with a man, it is in order for her to fee the waiter.



RIBBONS AT CHURCH WEDDINGS. One way of distinguishing the pews reserved for the family, relatives, and dearest friends of both families is the placing of white ribbons at the dividing pews. Before the arrival of the bride, the ushers, in pairs, at the same time, untie these ribbons, and stretch them along the outside of these pews, and thus enclose the guests and bar further intrusion.

If these ribbons are used, it is a good plan to enclose in the wedding invitation a card giving number of pew.

The advantage of not using ribbons is the avoidance of any possible discrimination.



RICE AT WEDDINGS. The throwing of rice is to be discouraged; but if it is to be done, the maid of honor should prepare packages of rice and hand them to the guests, who throw it after the bridal couple as they leave the house for their wedding trip.



RIDING.

MEN. When riding with a woman, a man should always assist her both to mount and to alight, even if a groom is present.

It is customary for the woman to set the pace, and for the man, who always rides on her right, to accommodate himself to her— trotting, galloping, or walking his horse as she may do.

He should always be ready to open all gates for her, and to do all things that will make the riding pleasant for her. If at a fox-hunt, this would mean that he must be ready to sacrifice much of his personal pleasure that she may enjoy herself.

DRESS. There is a perfectly well-accepted dress for men who ride in the park, though it is open to elderly men to wear clothes less pronounced.

The correct dress is full riding-breeches, close-fitting at the knee, leggings, a high-buttoned waistcoat, and a coat with the conventional short cutaway tails. The hat is an alpine or a derby, and the tie the regulation stock. These, with riding-gloves and a riding-crop, constitute the regular riding-dress for a young man.

A man should always consult his tailor, that the dress in all its details may be strictly up to date.

WOMEN—DRESS. There is a well-prescribed riding-dress for women as for men. The habit of dark material, with skirt falling just over the feet when in the saddle, and the close-fitting waist, with long or short tails, together with the white collar and black or white tie, constitute the regulation dress. The derby hat is smaller than formerly. Gloves of a dark color and a crop with a bone handle are always in place. Any jewelry, save that which is absolutely necessary, should be shunned.

In summer it is permissible to modify this costume.

As in the case of a man, a woman should consult a tailor of good practical experience, that her costume may be in the correct style.



RING, ENGAGEMENT. See ENGAGEMENT RING.



RING, WEDDING. See WEDDING RING.



RISING FROM THE TABLE. The signal to leave the table is always given by the women, and the men rise to let the women pass. At a formal dinner the signal is given by the hostess.



SALT is best taken up with the tip of the knife.



SALTED NUTS are eaten with the fingers.



SEAT OF HONOR is at the right of the host.



SECOND HELPING. At formal dinner parties, luncheons, and breakfasts, second helpings are never offered by the host or hostess, and should not be asked for by the guests. This is only permissible at a small dinner party or at the daily family meal.

Of course, this does not apply to a second glass of water, for which the guest asks, or for wine. It is the duty of the waiter to see that the guest is constantly supplied.



SECOND MARRIAGES. See WIDOWS—WEDDINGS.



SECRETARY OF AGRICULTURE. See AGRICULTURE, SECRETARY OF.



SECRETARY OF COMMERCE. See COMMERCE, SECRETARY OF.



SECRETARY OF INTERIOR. SEE INTERIOR, SECRETARY OF.



SECRETARY OF NAVY. SEE NAVY, SECRETARY OF.



SECRETARY OF STATE. See STATE, SECRETARY OF.



SECRETARY OF TREASURY. See TREASURY, SECRETARY OF.



SECRETARY OF WAR. SEE WAR, SECRETARY OF.



SEEDS should be removed from the mouth with the aid of a fork, or dropped into the half-closed hand.



SENATOR—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Senator Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Senator John J. Wilson, or, To the Hon. John J. Wilson.



SERVANTS-TIPPING. It is customary for guests leaving a house after a visit to tip the servants, unless positively requested by the hostess not to do so. The average tip would be one dollar, with more for extra attention.



SHAKING HANDS.

DANCES. It is not customary to shake hands at formal dances.

HOST AND HOSTESS. The host and the hostess should shake hands with each guest as they arrive.

If guest takes leave of host and hostess, they should shake hands. If they are surrounded by guests, a pleasant nod of farewell is admissible.

MEN. At a wedding, the opera, or a dance, and all very formal occasions, gloves should not be removed when shaking hands.

If the hostess wears gloves at any formal affair, a man wears his when he shakes hands with her. He should give a slight pressure only.

A man with hands gloved should never shake hands with a woman without an apology for so doing, unless she likewise wears gloves. A sudden meeting, etc., may make a handshaking in gloves unavoidable. Unless the other party is gloved, a man should apologize.

When men are introduced to men, they always shake hands. It is bad form to crush the hand when shaking it.

When introduced to a woman, men should bow, but not offer to shake hands.

CALLS. If the woman is seated when a man enters the room, she rises to greet him, and, if she wishes, shakes hands. She has the option to shake hands or not, and should make the first advances. It is bad form for him to do so.

WOMEN. Upon introduction, a woman may shake hands with either men or women, but a slight inclination of the body, a pleasant smile, and an appropriate remark are more correct.

A young girl, upon being introduced to an older woman, should await the action of the elder, who will shake hands if kindly disposed.

If one person extends the hand, it should be accepted without the slightest hesitation, to avoid embarrassment.



SIGNING LETTERS. See ADDRESSING AND SIGNING LETTERS.



SILK WEDDINGS. This is the name of the forty-fifth wedding anniversary, and is now seldom observed. If it is, any article of silk would be appropriate as a gift, and congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitations. The invitations may have the words: No presents received. An entertainment usually follows.



SILVER WEDDINGS. After twenty-five years of married life, the silver wedding may be celebrated. On the invitations sent out may be engraved the words: No presents received.

Congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitation. Any article of silver is appropriate as a gift. An entertainment follows.

At a silver wedding the invitations may be appropriately engraved in a silver-gray color, and the decorations are usually of the same color.



SLIPPERS-THROWING AT WEDDINGS. The throwing of slippers after the bridal couple on their leaving the house for their wedding trip is in poor taste.



SMOKING. At a dinner when the women rise, the men also rise and remain standing until the former leave the room, when cigars and coffee are served. Sometimes the men accompany the women to the drawing-room, bow, and then return to the dining-room for the coffee and cigars, where they remain about half an hour.

Smoking in restaurants is a general custom, but the rules of the house govern it. Theatres provide rooms for it, hence it should be limited to them.

There should be no smoking at afternoon entertainments, unless the men are requested to do so by the host and hostess.

At balls a room for smoking is generally provided. Smoking is not in good taste if a man is going to dance, as the odor of tobacco clings to the clothing. There should be no smoking in the dressing-rooms.

Smoking a pipe in the street is becoming more common. It is poor taste, however, on a fashionable street. At best, any smoking in the street is bad form.

Expectorating on the pavement is a most reprehensible habit. If it must be done, a man should step to the curb and expectorate in the street.

DANCES. Smoking should not be allowed in the dressing-room, but a special room should be provided. Men who dance should not smoke until leaving the house.

IN PRESENCE OF WOMEN. Smoking in the street while walking with a woman should never be indulged in, although she seemingly is agreeable to it. If a man is smoking, and he stops to speak to a woman, he should throw away his cigar or cigarette.

A man should not smoke in the presence of women unless bidden by them to do so. Few women care to say that it is disagreeable when asked, hence the better course is to await permission.

WOMEN. If a woman has true regard for herself, she should not indulge in smoking; if she does, it should be in absolute privacy.



SON.

BALLS. A son should do all in his power to make the ball a success by finding partners for the women having none, seeing that the men are introduced to the women, and taking in to supper a woman without an escort.

CARDS. When a mother is calling, she can leave cards of her son for the host and hostess if it is impossible for him to do so himself.

A son entering society can have his cards left by his mother for a host and hostess. Invitations to entertainments will follow.



SON (YOUNGER) OF DUKE-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: My Lord, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable the Lord John J. Kent.

A social letter begins: My dear Lord John J. Kent, and ends: Believe me, my dear Lord John, faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lord John J. Kent.



SON (YOUNGER) OF EARL-HOW ADDRESSED, An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: Believe me, dear Mr. Wilson, sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Honorable John Wilson.



SON (YOUNGER) OF MARQUIS—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: My Lord, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable the Lord John J. Kent.

A social letter begins: My dear Lord John J. Kent, and ends: Believe me, my dear Lord Kent, faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lord John J. Kent,



SON (YOUNGER) OF VISCOUNT-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: Believe me, dear Mr. Wilson, sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Honorable John Wilson.



SOUP should be taken from the side of the spoon without noise and without the plate being tipped. Men with mustaches are privileged in this respect, and may take the soup from the end of the spoon.



SOUVENIRS.

BRIDESMAIDS. These are given by the bride to her bridesmaids a few days before the wedding, and take the form of fans or jewelry of some kind that may be worn at the wedding.

A good time to present them is when the bride gives a farewell dinner or luncheon to her bridesmaids.

Failing this, they may be sent a few days before the wedding.

The souvenirs should, of course, be all the same in value and in style.

USHERS. The souvenirs given by the groom to the ushers usually take the form of scarf-pins or cuff-buttons. Sometimes the groom also gives the ushers neckties and gloves.

A good time for their distribution is at the farewell bachelor dinner.



SPONSORS. Only relatives and near friends should be asked to act as sponsors at a christening. Two women and one man are asked as sponsors for a girl, and one woman and two men for a boy, though one man and one woman are sufficient in either case.

These may be invited by note or personal call to act as sponsors, and should answer by note or personal call.

A few days before the ceremony the sponsor should send a christening gift addressed to the child, and the giver's card, with a suitable sentiment written on it, should be sent with the gift.

A man may give some article of silver, and, if a wealthy relative, a bank-book for money deposited in the child's name.

A woman may present the child with a garment, a carriage, a cradle, or some similar article.

It is in good taste for the sponsors to call immediately on the parents, to send flowers to the mother, and to show that they are pleased with the compliment.

The godfather at the ceremony assents to the vows, and later, at the drinking of the wine, should propose both the health of the child and that of its mother.



SPOON. The spoon should never be in the cup while drinking, but should be left in the saucer. It is used in eating grapefruit, fruit salads, small and large fruit (when served with cream), puddings, jellies, porridges, preserves, and boiled eggs.



SR, The letters SR. (abbreviation for Senior) are sometimes added to a woman's name on her card when her son has the same name as his father, and it is necessary to distinguish between the cards of the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law.

If both become widows, and yet wish to retain their husbands' Christian names, the daughter-in-law would add Jr. on her cards.



STAG PARTIES. A party composed of men exclusively is sometimes so designated. They are usually informal in character, but may be as elaborate in detail as desired.

DRESS. The Tuxedo coat and black tie is worn, unless at a formal stag party, when evening dress is appropriate.



STATE, SECRETARY OF-HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John J. Wilson, Secretary of State.



STATIONERY.

MEN. The variations from plainness and quietness in the use of stationery that are permitted women are denied to men. Their paper is never perfumed, and all fancy styles are in poor taste.

For his social correspondence a man should use white or gray linen or bank-note unruled paper, folding once in the envelope.

He may, of course, use for social correspondence his club stationery.

Under no circumstances should he use his business stationery for social correspondence.

WOMEN. Unruled plain white or gray paper, that folds once in the envelope, and black ink, are the standard materials for social correspondence.

While it is permissible to use some of the latest fancy stationery, care should be taken that it is quiet in taste, and that all merely temporary variations are avoided.

While it is better not to use perfumed paper, if any perfume is used it should be extremely delicate.

Elderly women are apt to favor Irish linen or similar stationery.



STRANGERS-INVITATIONS TO A BALL ASKED FOR BY FRIENDS. See BALLS-INVITATIONS ASKED FOR STRANGERS.



STREET-CARS AND OTHER CONVEYANCES.

MEN. The old custom of a man giving up his seat in a street-car to a woman is being gradually done away with. This is due largely to the fact that women are now so extensively engaged in commercial business that they are constant riders at the busy hours, end thus come into direct competition with men.

A well-bred man, however, will show his manliness by giving any woman his seat and standing himself, as she is less fitted for such hardships and annoyances. A man should always give his seat to an elderly woman, one accompanied with children, or one apparently weak and sickly. In giving his seat to a woman, a man should politely bow and raise his hat.

It is good form for a man to assist a woman getting on or off a car. If a man is accompanied by a woman when she leaves the car, he should help her off the car.

A man should always be polite and courteous toward a conductor, as the latter's position is a hard and trying one.

A man should never cross his legs or keep his feet extended in the passageway.

If a man finds it necessary to crowd into a car already full, he should do so with consideration and politeness, and with an apology for pressing against any one. It is better to stand than to crowd yourself into a small space between those who are seated.

EXPENSES. A man traveling with another man can pay the latter's fare if he wishes. But if he is accompanied by a woman he should pay her fare. If he is in the car, and other acquaintances, men or women, enter, they should pay their own fares.

WOMEN. A woman should not look with a pained and injured air at the men passengers because no one of them has offered her a seat. The great influx of women into the commercial world, and their being thrown into direct competition with men, has largely done away with the fine old custom of men giving up their seats to women. The impoliteness of many women in accepting a seat as a matter of right and not of courtesy, and perhaps without a "Thank you," has helped largely to bring about the present state of affairs. No woman of ordinary good manners should fail to express her thanks for the courtesy proffered. If a woman is offered a seat she should accept it at once-without urging.

A man may assist a woman in getting off a car. If a woman is accompanied by a man and she leaves the car, he should assist her to alight.

A woman should wait till a car absolutely stops before she gets on or off, and she should face the front when leaving the car.

If possible, a woman should have her car-fare handy or easy of access-preferably in her hand-before entering the car if it is crowded. A woman should avoid crowding into a small space between others, and it is better for her to stand than to occupy barely the edge of a seat. If it is absolutely necessary for her to enter a crowded car, she should do so with an apology to those whom she may crowd.

CONDUCTOR. A conductor occupies a difficult and trying position, and will always appreciate any courtesy shown him by a woman. If a woman desires a transfer, she should let him know in ample time; if she wants any information from him, she should ask him when paying her fare, and should indicate her desire to leave the car at least a block ahead of her street. A woman should not trust to a conductor to remember her street, even if she has asked him, but should look out for the street herself.

EXPENSES. If a woman is in a car and a man joins her, and the fare is not yet collected, she should pay her own fare. But if she is traveling with an escort she should not offer to pay her fare, as her escort pays the expenses.



STREET ETIQUETTE.



MEN. If a man is passed on the street without any recognition by an acquaintance, he should hesitate before accepting it as a direct cut, as it may have been an oversight. If it is repeated, he will know its full meaning.

To pass a person whom one knows and to look straight at him without recognition is the rudest way of dropping an acquaintance.

A man should avoid loud and boisterous behavior.

If a man is compelled to force his way through a crowded street, he should do so courteously and with an apology to any one inconvenienced by his act.

In walking three or four abreast, men should be careful not to obstruct the thoroughfare, but should quickly fall into single file when necessary.

A man should greet his acquaintances on the street quietly and courteously, and if on a crowded street, should step out of the way of persons and be brief in his remarks.

In all public places and conveyances a man should offer his seat to a woman, though he is not expected to do so when reserved seats can be obtained—as, in a theatre, at an opera, etc.

ACCIDENTS. In case of accident or danger a man should protect the woman whom he escorts, and take her to a place of safety. If her clothing is torn, or she has met with some accident of which she is unaware, a man may, if he desires, politely raise his hat and call her attention to the fact. If by accident a man jostles a woman or steps upon her dress, he should raise his hat, bow, and apologize, whether he knows her or not.

BOWING. A man should not bow to a woman until she has first recognized him, unless they are old acquaintances.

A man should acknowledge the salutation of a woman on the street, even if he does not know her, as it saves her from embarrassment at her mistake.

When bidding farewell to a woman after a conversation on the street, a man should bow and raise his hat.

If a man offers his seat to a woman in a car or other conveyance, he should raise his hat and bow, while her escort acknowledges the courtesy by doing the same.

When a man opens a door for a woman unknown to him, he should bow, while she enters in advance of him.

A man should raise his hat and bow on all occasions when offering any courtesy to a woman, whether stranger or acquaintance.

A man may bow to an elderly man or person of official position.

A man may offer his services to a woman in crossing a crowded thoroughfare, and should raise his hat and bow when she is safely over, but should, make no comment unless she does so first. He may also offer her assistance in getting on or off a car, raising his hat and bowing without remark.

If a man is accompanied by a woman and another man extends a courtesy to her, he should acknowledge it by bowing and giving a polite "Thank you."

If when walking with a man a woman meets a male acquaintance who bows, her escort should raise his hat and bow, though the two men are strangers to each other. If the escort meets a man known to him, both men should raise their hats and bow.

CANES AND UMBRELLAS. These should be carried vertically, never horizontally, thereby endangering other persons' eyes. Especially is this important when entering cars or going up long flights of steps-as, the stairs of the elevated railroad.

CONVERSATION. A man who meets a woman, and desires to engage in conversation with her, should ask permission to accompany her. If this is granted, he may proceed a short distance, unless requested to go farther.

When meeting a woman on the street and stopping to converse with her, a man should raise his hat and replace it, as it is not now in good form for a man to remain bareheaded until requested by the woman to replace his hat.

A man should avoid stopping a woman on the street to engage her in conversation.

Only an intimate acquaintance with a woman warrants a man joining her on the street. If it is not agreeable, it may be very embarrassing to her.

SMOKING. A man should never smoke while walking with a woman on a street. Smoking on fashionable thoroughfares is bad form.

A man should avoid expectorating upon a sidewalk, and, if it must be done, should walk to the curb and use the street for that purpose.

WALKING. A man should not walk between two women, but at the side nearest the curb.

When walking with a woman, a man should walk near the curb, unless passing an obstruction-as, a building in course of construction-when she should have the outer side to protect her from harm, or from coming in contact with disagreeable things.

A man should offer his right arm to a woman, but this is rarely necessary in the daytime. It is essential, however, and proper for him to do so after dark.

WOMEN. Conduct on the street should always be reserved. It is bad form to loudly laugh or to boldly glance at the passers-by, especially men.

Women should never walk three or four abreast.

Women may salute each other with a bow and a handshake, but a kiss in public is no longer in good form.

During a promenade, where friends pass and repass, it is not necessary to exchange greetings to each other.

A polite "Thank you," with a bow and a smile, should be the reward of any man extending a courtesy to a woman.

BOWING. It is the woman's privilege to determine whom she will publicly recognize, and therefore she should bow first to all men whom she desires to favor. This formality is, however, unnecessary with intimate friends.

UMBRELLAS. These should be carried vertically, and never horizontally under the arm.

WALKING. If a woman is walking with a man, and another man stops to speak, it would be in exceeding bad taste to ask him to join her.

A woman should take a man's right arm, but only after dark, unless for some special reason-as, weakness, etc.-it is necessary.

If a woman is walking alone, and a man of her acquaintance stops and speaks, he may ask permission to accompany her farther, which, if agreeable, should be granted. She may stop for a few moments' chat, and shake hands if she wishes. If he stands before her with uncovered head, she should promptly ask him to replace his hat. She should not block the thoroughfare, and should take the initiative if he does not step to one side. If agreeable, an invitation may be extended to him to walk a short distance.



SUBSCRIPTION BALLS. MEN. Shortly after receiving an invitation to a subscription ball, a man should leave a card for the patroness inviting him.

INVITATIONS. In addition to the regular invitations, it is customary to guard against the admission of persons not really invited by the use of vouchers to be shown at the hall door, or some similar precaution is taken.

When a subscriber sends an invitation and a voucher, he should send in the same envelope one of his calling cards.



SUNDAY CALLS. Informal calls may be made on Sunday after three o'clock by business and professional men, provided there are no religious or other scruples on the part of those receiving the calls.

Men should wear afternoon dress.



SUPPERS GIVEN BY MEN—WOMEN. A young woman may accept a man's invitation, provided she has the consent of her mother or guardian, and is assured that a chaperone will be present.



SUPPERS—MEN. Suppers are generally for men. The hours are from ten to eleven. A man can give such entertainments in bachelor apartments or restaurant, and if women are invited, chaperones should be present.

The invitations may be given personally, written, or a visiting-card may be used, giving hour and date. If the supper is given in honor of a special guest, engraved cards or note sheets are used.

Suppers may be of various kinds—such as Fish, Game, Wine, Champagne.



SUPPERS AND THEATRE PARTIES. MEN. A man should not invite a young woman to a theatre party or supper without inviting her mother or a chaperone to accompany them. At large theatre parties or suppers, when there are ten or more guests, several chaperones should be invited. Any married or elderly unmarried woman can act as chaperone, care being taken that they are well-known and agreeable to all, as much of the pleasure of the evening depends upon them. CARRIAGES. A conveyance holding a large party can be sent to take invited guests to the entertainment. The chaperone should be called for first, and should be the last one to be left at home upon returning. The chaperones may use their own carriages and call for guests if they desire. If the chaperones call for the guests, the men can be met at the place of amusement. Conveyances should be provided for guests.



SUPPERS GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See BACHELORS' SUPPERS.



TABLE ETIQUETTE. It is correct to take a little of all that is offered, though one may not care for it. Bend slightly over the plate when carrying the food to the mouth, resuming upright position afterward.

When drinking from a cup or glass, raise it gracefully to the mouth and sip the contents. Do not empty the vessel at one draught.

Guests should not amuse themselves by handling knife or fork, crumbling bread, or leaning their arms on the table. They should sit back in their chairs and assume an easy position.

A guest at a dinner should not pass a plate or any article to another guest, or serve the viands, unless asked to do so by the hostess.

Upon leaving the table, push the chair back far enough to be out of the way of others.

ACCIDENTS. Accidents, or anything that may be amiss at the table, should be unobserved by a guest unless he is the cause of it. In that event some pleasant remark as to his awkwardness should be made and no more. The waiter should attend to the matter at once.

If a fork or a spoon is dropped it should not be picked up by the guest, but another used, or ask the waiter to provide one.

CONVERSATION. Aim at bright and general conversation, avoiding all personalities and any subject that all cannot join in. This is largely determined by the character of the company. The guests should accommodate themselves to their surroundings.

See also FINGER-BOWL, KNIFE AND FORK, SECOND HELPING, SEEDS, SPOON, TOOTHPICKS, WINES, and names of individual fruits and foods—as, APPLES, BREAD, etc.



TALKING—THEATRES. Conversation during the progress of the play or the opera should be avoided and confined to the intermissions. The theatregoer should avoid all noise, gestures, or actions that would annoy others.

A man would be justified, when annoyed by a person talking loud near him, in asking him politely to speak lower.



TEAS.

Invitations. These need no acknowledgment.

Given by bachelors. See BACHELORS' TEAS.

Afternoon. See AFTERNOON TEAS.

High. See HIGH TEA.



TELEPHONE INVITATIONS. Telephone invitations should be sent only to those with whom the utmost intimacy exists, and who will pardon the informality.



THEATRE. A young man may invite a young woman to the theatre or opera, even if he has but a slight acquaintance with her, but of course he should secure the permission of her parents or chaperone.

It is correct for the young man to inquire if the young woman prefers a box, or, if not, he should state in what part of the house he proposes to secure seats. This will enable her to determine how to dress.

If the young woman wears street toilette, her escort may take her in any public conveyance, but if she wears evening dress, he should provide a carriage.

At the theatre he should precede the woman down the aisle to the seat or box; but if it is the latter, he should open the door and wait for her to pass.

A man may use his judgment as to the aisle seat. If a better view can be had, or seemingly objectionable people are next the inside seat, it is perfectly proper to give the woman the aisle seat.

A man should never leave his companion between the acts. The custom of both men and women going into the foyer at that time is a growing one, and is a relief to the audience.

Refreshments at some fashionable place may follow after the entertainment.

For a man to call on an acquaintance in an opera box does not relieve one of the duty of making a formal call in return for social favors.

BONNET. A woman of any consideration will either wear no bonnet at all or remove it as soon as the curtain is raised.

It would be in place for a man or woman whose view is hampered by a bonnet to politely ask the wearer to remove it, and when it is done, to thank her.

MEN—LEAVING CARDS. After a theatre party given by a man, he should call within three days on the woman he escorted or leave his card.

PRECEDENCE. In entering a theatre a man precedes the women of his party, but after he has handed his coupons to the ushers he gives the women precedence, and follows them to their seats.

TALKING. Conversation during the progress of the play or the opera should be avoided, and confined to the intermissions.

The theatregoer should avoid all noise, gestures, or actions tending to annoy others or to render himself conspicuous.

A man would be justified, when annoyed by a person talking loud near him, in asking him politely to speak lower.



THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES.

GIVEN BY MEN. A man giving a theatre or opera party should secure one or more chaperones if women are to be present.

CALLS. The host should call upon his guests within three days or a week after the event.

CARRIAGES. The host may, if he choose, send carriages or a stage to collect all the guests. This is a formal and agreeable way to begin the evening's pleasure. The chaperone should be called for first. A more informal way is quite popular. The invitations having been given and accepted, the host informs each of his guests as to the others, and leaves a ticket with each one. All then meet informally at the place of amusement. If a dinner is given before the entertainment, carriages are provided to convey the guests to the theatre.

CHAPERONE. A chaperone should always be present if women are to be members of the party. And if a stage or carriage calls for the guests, it should call first for the chaperone.

The chaperone who acts as hostess should decide the hour to close the festivities.

DINNERS. If a dinner is given before the performance, it is generally given at six o'clock, the usual customs being followed. If preferred, the dinner may follow the performance, and may be given at any fashionable restaurant or hotel. If it is given before the play, at its termination the guests are conveyed in carriages or stage to the theatre at the expense of the host.

After the entertainment it is a good plan for the party to return to the banqueting-room to partake of slight refreshments.

DRESS. Men wear evening dress. Women wear full evening dress.

INVITATIONS. He may invite his guests in person or by note. In either case he should secure the parents' permission to allow the young women to attend, and should be ready to supply all information regarding the men who will be present, and also the chaperones.

MEN. The escorts should see the women home unless they are called for by the male members of their families, in which case they may be accompanied to their conveyances. If a young woman is called for by her maid in a carriage, her escort may take her home.

Intimacy of the parties largely regulates the etiquette of such occasions. They can decide whether evening or street dress shall be worn, and seat themselves accordingly. A carriage should be provided.

When entering an opera or theatre box for a short call, a man should stand and bow, making some pleasant remark to the chaperone. If there is an empty chair, he may sit and talk a few minutes and retire as others enter.

WOMEN. Between the acts it is perfectly proper to go into the foyer with the escort, who should carry the woman's wraps and see that all her wants are attended to. Should she desire anything, she should call on him first.

The hat or bonnet should be removed.

In a box the women occupy the front row while the men sit or stand in the rear.

A woman should avoid conspicuous manners, loud conversation, laughing, or acting in any way to attract attention.

GIVEN BY WOMEN. This is a popular form of entertainment during the season. They are given by married women, and the guests are invited by note. A dinner is given at the house or at a restaurant before the departure for the opera or play. Refreshments may also be given after the entertainment at either the house or restaurant. At the dinner the same ceremonies are followed as to arrangements of guests and escorts as at any formal dinner.



TOASTS—WEDDINGS. Toasts to the bride and groom are customary at the wedding breakfast or supper.

If the groom gives a farewell bachelor dinner, he should propose a toast to the bride.



THEATRE PARTIES. See also CHAPERONE-MEN. CHAPERONE-THEATRE.



THIRD PERSON-USED IN CORRESPONDENCE. While it was formerly the correct usage to begin formal communications in the third person, it is now the custom to begin such letters: MY DEAR MRS SMITH, or MADAM.

The third person would be used only in writing to a workman, a strange servant, or a business firm.



TIN WEDDING. After ten years of marriage, occurs the tin wedding. The invitations sent out may have the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED. Congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitation.

Every conceivable device made of tin is appropriate as a gift, but, as these are limited, ingenuity may be displayed in getting up oddities. An entertainment may follow.



TIPPING. At balls. It is not customary to tip the servants at a private ball, but at a public one it is usual to give a tip to the attendant at the cloak-room.

At christenings. The father usually gives the nurse at a christening a sum of money, and the mother gives her some article of dress or piece of jewelry.

At house; parties. See HOUSE PARTIES. GUESTS. TIPPING SERVANTS. Also under names of servants—as, COACHMAN.



TITLES. MEN'S CARDS. Men having titles use them before their names—as, REVEREND, REV. MR., REV. DR., Army and Navy titles, and officers on the retired list.

LL.D. and all professional titles are placed after the name. Political and judicial titles are always omitted.

Physicians may use DR. before or M.D. after their names. On cards intended for social use, office hours and other professional matters are omitted.

WOMEN'S CARDS. The same principles govern the titles on women's cards, with the addition that women should never use titles of their husbands.



TOOTHPICKS should not be used in public. If necessity requires it, raise the napkin over the mouth, with the hand behind it, using the toothpick as quickly as possible.



TOWN, RETURNING TO-WOMEN. Cards of the entire family should be sent by mail to all acquaintances when returning after a prolonged absence.

When using cards, if out of town, the place of a woman's permanent residence can be written on the card thus: NEW YORK. PHILADELPHIA.



TRAVELERS' VISITING-CARDS. A woman visiting a place for a length of time should mail to her friends a visiting-card containing her temporary address.

A man in a similar situation should call upon his friends, and if he does not find them at home should leave his card.



TRAVELING.

MEN WITH WOMEN. When traveling with a woman, a man should see to the checking and care of her baggage.

MEN. As it is exceedingly trying and difficult for a woman to stand in a railroad train while it is in motion, it is the height of good manners for a man to offer her his seat and to insist on her taking it.

EXPENSES. On a short boat or railroad trip a man should pay the expenses of a woman who accompanies him by his invitation. But on a long trip she should insist on paying her share, and he should accept her decision. Of course, he is at liberty, however, to pay all the expenses of slight entertainments-as, fruit, magazines, etc.

He should see to the care of her baggage and all other details.

PARLOR-CAR. When traveling a long distance accompanied by a woman, a man should secure seats in the parlor-car.

While it is admissible to offer assistance to a woman traveling in a parlor-car without an escort, it should be done in the most polite and delicate manner, and be perfectly agreeable to her.

WOMEN. If a woman arrives at a strange place, especially a large city, and no one meets her, she should ask the station porter to attend to her baggage and all such details, and, if traveling farther, to see to her ticket and to find for her the right train.

If at the end of her journey she gives him the address she desires to go to and her trunk checks, he should procure a carriage for her. This saves her much worry and annoyance and needless risk.

The same suggestions apply to steamboat travel.

EXPENSES. If a woman is asked by a man to take a short boat or railroad trip, he should pay her fare and all other expenses. But if on a long trip—as, a summer outing—and she is escorted by a man, she should insist on paying her own fare and all expenses, allowing him, however, to pay the expenses of slight entertainment—as, fruit, magazines, etc.

PARLOR-CAR. Her escort should attend to all details of traveling. If she is traveling alone, she should always ride in the parlor-car and have the porter attend to her wants. While it may be proper to accept in a parlor-car attentions from a man if he is accompanied by a woman, the greatest caution is required if he is alone; in fact, it is well to be on one's guard, when traveling alone, against the attentions of both men and women.



TREASURY, SECRETARY OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, Sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant

A social letter begins: My Dear MR. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John J. Wilson, Secretary Of Treasury.



TROUSSEAU, WEDDING. The bride exhibits the trousseau at a dinner given to the bridesmaids and maid of honor a few days before the wedding.



TURNING DOWN CORNER OF VISITING-CARDS. This should not be done.



TUXEDO. The Tuxedo coat and waistcoat are worn at all informal affairs when no women are present, such as small theatre parties (when not occupying a box), bowling and card parties, restaurants, and the like.

It may be worn on the street in the evening with a low hat. A black tie should always be worn, and never, under any circumstances, a white one. See also EVENING DRESS—MEN.



UMBRELLAS. MEN CALLING ON WOMEN. When making a formal or brief call, the umbrella should be left in the hall.

CARRYING. Umbrellas should be carried vertically, never horizontally, thereby endangering other persons' eyes. Especially is this important when entering cars or going up long flights of steps—as, at an elevated railroad station.



USHERS. A sufficient number of ushers should be provided for to allow of two for each aisle. A good plan is to have one selected as the master of ceremonies, and for him to go to the church on the wedding-day in ample time to personally see that all the details have been carried out. They should be present at all rehearsals.

The ushers are usually presented by the groom with some small trinket, such as a pin, as a souvenir of the occasion.

CALLS. The ushers should call upon the married couple as soon as the latter have returned from their wedding trip.

CHURCH. The ushers should arrive at the church before the guests.

Each usher should have a list of all the intended guests for whom special places are set aside, and should check off the names of the guests as they arrive. He should know the various guests and where to place them; but if he does not know them personally, he should consult his list.

The upper ends of the middle aisles of both sides are usually reserved for invited guests, and are distinguished from the rest of the church by having a white ribbon or a string of flowers stretched across the aisle. The immediate family and special guests occupy the front seats, the family and the guests of the bride taking the left side and those of the groom the right side of the aisle. Other guests should be given the best seats, according to their priority in arriving.

It is in bad taste for an usher to reserve seats for his own friends as against the first-comers.

In seating guests, the usher should give his left arm to a woman and escort her to her seat while her escort follows.

Before the arrival of the bridal party the ushers take the ribbons at either end, and, walking the length of the aisle, close it against intrusion. Upon the arrival of the bride they form in pairs in the vestibule and lead the procession, followed by the bridesmaids, also in pairs. When they approach the altar they separate, one-half to the right and one-half to the left. The bridesmaids do likewise, and stand in front of the ushers.

At the conclusion of the ceremony they follow last in the procession to the vestibule, where, after giving their best wishes to the bride and congratulations to the groom, they hasten as soon as possible to the bride's home to assist in introducing and meeting the guests at the reception or breakfast.