CHRISTENING.

DRESS. The mother wears an elaborate reception gown to the church, with white gloves and a light hat or bonnet.

If the ceremony is at the house, she can wear an elaborate tea-gown.

The guests wear afternoon or evening dress, according whether the ceremony comes before or after 6 P.M.

FLOWERS. A christening ceremony offers a good opportunity for the guests who desire to present flowers to the mother. This is not obligatory, however, and must remain a matter of personal taste.

GIFTS. A christening ceremony offers a good opportunity for the invited guests, if they desire, to send a present to the baby.

These should be sent a day or two before the ceremony, and if of silver should be marked with the child's name, initials, or monogram.

GUESTS. The invitations should be promptly answered.

At a church ceremony the guests, as they are few in number, assemble in the front pews.

At a large house christening the affair is conducted somewhat like an afternoon reception. Wine is drunk to the child's health, and the guests take leave of the hostess.

INVITATIONS are issued by the wife only to intimate friends, and should be promptly answered.

If the christening is made a formal entertainment, to take place in the drawing-room, the invitations may be engraved.

MEN. If the ceremony is in the afternoon they wear afternoon dress, but at an evening affair evening dress.

At an afternoon ceremony in the summer it is allowable for the men to wear straw hats and light flannel suits.

At a large house christening the affair should be conducted somewhat like a reception, and men on departing should take leave of the hostess.

WOMEN dress as they would for an afternoon reception if the ceremony comes in the afternoon, and if it comes after breakfast or luncheon, as they would for a breakfast or luncheon.

At a large house christening the affair should be conducted like a reception, and women should take leave of the hostess on their departure.

CHURCH. A man usually follows the woman, who leads to the pew, and he enters after her, closing the door as he does so.

He should find the places in the service book for her.

This same courtesy he should extend to a woman who is a stranger to him.



CLERGYMAN.

CHRISTENING FEES. It is customary to send a fee to the officiating clergyman, unless he is a relative or a near friend.

EVENING DRESS. Custom permits a clergyman to wear his clerical dress at all functions at which other men wear evening dress; or, if he wishes, he may also wear the regulation full dress. The wearing of either is a matter of taste.

HOW ADDRESSED. All mail and correspondence should be addressed to Rev. Mr. Smith, but in conversation a clergyman should be addressed as Mr. Smith. If he has received the degree of D.D. (Doctor of Divinity)from some educational institution, then he is addressed as Dr. Smith, and his mail should be addressed as Rev. Dr. Smith.

WEDDING CEREMONY. The officiating clergyman (minister or priest) is selected by the bride, who usually chooses her family minister, and the latter is then called upon by the groom with regard to the details. If a very intimate friend or relative of the groom is a clergyman, it is in good taste for the bride to ask him either to officiate or to assist. If from any cause—as, living outside the State—the clergyman is unable to legally perform the ceremony, a magistrate should be present to legalize the ceremony, and should receive a fee.

CARRIAGE. A carriage should be provided by the groom to take the clergyman to the church, then to the reception, and thence to his house.

FEE. A fee should be paid the clergyman by the groom through the best man, who should hand it to him immediately after the ceremony. If two or three clergymen are present and assist, the fee of the officiating clergyman is double that of the others. The clergyman should receive at least five dollars in gold, clean bills, or check, in a sealed envelope, or more, in proportion to the groom's financial condition and social position.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The clergyman should always be invited to the reception.



CLUB.

ADDRESS. If residing at a club, a man's visiting- card should have his club's name in the lower right-hand corner; if not, the name should be put in lower left-hand corner.

STATIONERY. This is always in good form for social correspondence by men.



COACHING. See DRIVING.



COACHMAN-TIPS. It is customary when a guest leaves a house party after a visit to give the coachman a tip.



COLLEGE DEGREES. Custom, good taste, and the fitness of things forbid a college man having engraved, on his visiting-card, his college degrees—as, A.B., A.M., etc.



COMMERCE, Secretary of—How Addressed. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant. A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours. The address on the envelope is: Hon. John J. Wilson, Secretary of Commerce.



COMMITTEES-PUBLIC BALLS. Public balls are conducted like private ones, and the etiquette is the same for the guests. The difference in their management is that, in place of a hostess, her functions and duties are filled by committees selected by the organization giving the ball.



CONCLUSION OF A LETTER. The standard conclusions of letters are: I remain sincerely yours, or; Believe me faithfully yours.

For business correspondence the standard conclusions are: Yours truly, or; Very truly yours.

For relatives and dear friends the standard forms are: Affectionately yours, or; Devotedly yours.

One should avoid signing a letter with only initials, Christian name, surnames, or diminutives.

MEN. In writing formally on business to a woman he knows slightly, a man could say: I am respectfully yours. When not on business he could write: I beg to remain yours to command.

He should avoid a signature like: J. Jones Wilson, but write: James J. Wilson

WOMEN. In social correspondence a married woman should sign: Minnie Wilson, and not: Mrs. John Wilson. If she wants to make known in a business letter the fact of her being married, and may not know if the person addressed knows the fact, she may write: Minnie Wilson (Mrs. John Wilson) An unmarried woman would sign her name as: Minnie Wilson, and if wishing not to be taken for a widow would sign: Miss Minnie Wilson.



CONDOLENCE.

CALLS. When death occurs in the family of a friend, one should call in person and make kindly inquiries for the family and leave a card, but should not ask to see those in trouble unless a very near and dear acquaintanceship warrants.

For a very intimate acquaintance, cut flowers may be left in person or sent, together with a card, unless the request has been made to send none.

CARDS. A visiting-card is used with the word CONDOLENCE written on it, and should be left in person if possible, but may be sent or mailed to intimate friends only if accompanied by a note of apology. If out of town, it should be sent by mail with letter of condolence.

A MR. and MRS. card may be used at any time for condolence, except for intimate friends.

LETTERS. Only the most intimate and dear friends should send letters of condolence, and they may send flowers with the note unless the request has been made to send none.



CONGRATULATIONS.

BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wishing to send congratulations after a birth, cards should be left in person or sent by messenger. Cut flowers may be sent with the card.

CARDS. A MR. and MRS. card can be used at any time for congratulations. If left in person, which is preferable, the card should be accompanied by a kindly message, and, if sent by mail or messenger' the word CONGRATULATIONS should be written on it. Business and professional men are not required to make personal calls, and so may send their cards. A Mr. and Mrs. card can be used for all but near friends.

When a card is left in person, with a message of congratulations, nothing should be written thereon.

A man may mail his card to a woman engaged to be married, if acquaintance warrants the action.

Congratulations upon the birth of a child may be expressed by a man to its father by sending a card with the word Congratulations written on it, or by leaving it in person.

A card should be mailed to a man engaged to be married.

WEDDINGS. Congratulations may be sent with letter of acceptance or declination to a wedding to those sending the invitations. And if acquaintance with bride and groom warrant, a note of congratulations may be sent to them also.

Guests in personal conversation with the latter give best wishes to the bride and congratulations to the groom.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARIES. In accepting or declining invitations to wedding anniversaries, congratulations may be extended.



CONVERSATION AT DINNERS. Aim at bright and general conversation, avoiding all personalities and any subject that all cannot join in. This is largely determined by the character of the company. The guests should accommodate themselves to their surroundings.



COOKS-TIPS. It is customary for men who have been guests at a house party when they leave to remember the cook by sending her a tip.



CORN ON THE COB is eaten with the fingers of one hand. A good plan is to cut off the kernels and eat them with the aid of a fork.



CORNER OF CARD TURNED DOWN. This is no longer done by persons when calling and leaving cards.



CORRESPONDENCE. How to address official and social letters. See under title of person addressed —as, ARCHBISHOP, etc.



COSTUME BALLS.—INVITATIONS. Invitations are similar to invitations to balls, except that they have in place of DANCING in the lower left-hand corner. COSTUME OF THE XVIIIth CENTURY, BAL MASQUE, OR BAL POUDRE.



COTILLIONS. Germans are less formal than balls. Supper precedes the dancing. Those who do not dance or enjoy it can leave before that time.

The etiquette is the same as for balls.

DRESS. The regulation evening dress is worn.

HOSTESS. The rules governing a hostess when giving a ball are the same for a cotillion, with this addition—that there should be an even number of men and women, and, failing this, more men than women.

It is for the hostess to choose the leader of the cotillion, and to him are entrusted all its details.

At the conclusion of the cotillion the hostess stands at the door with the leader at her side, to receive the greetings and the compliments of the guests.

See also BALLS—HOSTESS.

INVITATIONS. The invitations are engraved, and the hour for beginning is placed in the lower left-hand corner, and are sent out two weeks in advance. They may be sent in one envelope.

Such invitations should be promptly accepted or declined.



COTILIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. These are given by leading society women, who subscribe to a fund sufficient to pay all expenses of the entertainment. They are usually held in some fashionable resort where suitable accommodations can be had.

Guests are shown to the cloak-room, where attendants check their wraps.

After the supper, the German, or cotillion, begins. Those not dancing in this generally retire. When leaving, guests should take leave especially of the patroness inviting them.

DRESS. Full dress is worn by all.

INVITATIONS. The patronesses whose names appear on the back of the cards are the subscribers. They send out the invitations to their friends. A presentation card, to be shown at the door, is sent with the invitation.

MEN. Men wear evening dress.

The men wait upon their partners and themselves at the table, the waiters assisting, unless small tables are used, when the patronesses sit by themselves, and others form groups as they like. The guests are served by the waiters, as at a dinner.

When retiring, guests should take leave especially of the patroness inviting them.

PATRONESSES. The patronesses stand in line to receive the guests, bowing or shaking hands as they prefer.

When supper is announced, the leading patroness leads the way with her escort, the others following. If small tables are used, the patronesses sit by themselves.

WOMEN. Women wear full dress.

When guests depart, they should take leave especially of the patroness inviting them.



COUNTESS—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant. The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable The Countess of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Kent, sincerely yours.

The address is: To the Countess of Kent.



COUNTRY CALLS. The usual rule in calling is for the residents to call first upon the temporary cottage people, and between these latter the early comers call first upon those coming later.

In the city there is no necessity for neighbors to call upon each other.



CRACKERS should be broken into small pieces and eaten with the fingers.



CRESTS. If men and women wish, these may be stamped in the latest fashionable colors on their stationery. It is not customary to use a crest and a stamped address on the same paper.

The present fashion in crests is that they should be of small size.

It is not usual to stamp the crest on the flap of the envelope.

If sealing-wax is used, some dull color should be chosen.

A person should avoid all individual eccentricities and oddities in stamping, such as facsimile autographs, etc.



CRYSTAL WEDDINGS. This anniversary comes after fifteen years of married life, and the invitations may bear the words: No presents received, and on their acceptance or declination, congratulations may be extended. An entertainment should be provided for. Any article of crystal or glass is appropriate as a gift.



DANCES.

CARRIAGES. A man should secure his carriage-check when leaving his carriage. It is safer to take wraps and coats to the house in case of accidents.

When taking a woman wearing evening dress to a ball or dance, a man should provide a carriage.

DEBUTANTE. See DANCES—WOMEN—DEBUTANTE.

DRESS. Evening dress is worn by men and women.

DINNER INVITATIONS. The hostess issues two sets of invitations—one for those invited to both dinner and dance, and one for those invited to the dance only.

For the former, the hostess should use her usual engraved dinner cards, with the written words: Dancing at eleven, and for the latter her usual engraved At Home cards, with the written words: Dancing at eleven.

A less formal way is to use, instead of the At Home card, a Mr. and Mrs. card, or Mrs. And Miss card, with the following written in the lower left-hand corner: Dancing at ten. March the second. R. S. V. P.

INVITATIONS. These should be acknowledged by an acceptance, or declined, with a note of regret within one week.

MEN. ASKING A WOMAN TO DANCE. A man asks for the privilege of a dance, either with the daughter of the hostess or with any guest of the latter or any young woman receiving with her.

On being introduced to a woman, he may ask her for a dance, and he should be prompt in keeping his appointment.

It is her privilege to end the dance, and, when it is ended, he should conduct her to her chaperone, or, failing that, he should find her a seat—after which he is at perfect liberty to go elsewhere.

If for any cause a man has to break his engagements to dance, he should personally explain the matter to every woman with whom he has an engagement and make a suitable apology.

DEBUTANTE. At a debutante's reception the first partner is selected by the mother, usually the nearest and dearest friend, who dances but once, and the others follow.

INVITATIONS. Invitations to balls or assemblies should be answered immediately; if declined, the ticket should be returned. A man should call or leave cards a few days before the affair.

SUPPER. At balls and assemblies where small tables are provided, a man should not sit alone with his partner, but make up a party in advance, and keep together.

If a patroness asks a man to sit at her table, she should provide a partner for him.

At supper the senior patroness leads the way, escorted by the man honored for the occasion.

If one large table is provided, the men, assisted by the waiters, serve the women. When small tables are used the patronesses generally sit by themselves, and the guests group themselves to their own satisfaction.

TRONESSES. Their duties are varied and responsible—among them, the subscription to the expenses of the entertainments.

The patronesses should be divided into various committees to attend to special duties —as, music, caterers, supper arrangements, the ball-room, and all other details.

While affairs of this kind could be left in the hands of those employed to carry out the details, it is better and safer for each committee to follow the various matters out to the smallest details.

Those devising new features and surprises for such an occasion will give the most successful ball.

The one most active and having the best business ability should take the lead.

Lists should be compared, in order to avoid duplicate invitations.

The tickets should be divided among the patronesses, who, in turn, distribute them among their friends.

The patronesses should be at the ball-room in ample time before the arrival of the guests, to see that all is in readiness.

They should stand together beside the entrance to welcome the guests. They should see, as far as possible, that the proper introductions are made, and that every one is enjoying the evening, their own pleasure coming last.

If time permits, a hasty introduction to the patroness beside her may be made by a patroness, but it should not be done if there is the slightest possibility of blocking up the entrance.

A nod of recognition here and there, or a shake of the hands with some particular friend, is all that is necessary. Prolonged conversation should be avoided.

A patroness should not worry over the affair, or leave anything to be done at the last minute. If she has to worry, she should not show it, lest she interfere with the pleasure of others.

They should be the last to leave as well as the first to arrive, to see that the affair closes brilliantly.

SUPPER. The senior patroness leads the way to supper, escorted by the man honored for the occasion.

If one large table is provided, the men, assisted by the waiters, serve the women. When small tables are used, the patronesses generally sit by themselves, and the guests group themselves to their own satisfaction.

If a patroness asks a man to sit at her table, she should provide a partner for him, and in case of a previous engagement, he should notify her by mail.

WOMEN. A woman should always keep any engagement made, if possible. If, for a good reason, it is desired to break one, she should do so in ample time to enable the man to secure a partner.

It is bad form to refuse one partner for a dance and to accept another for the same dance afterward. After refusing to dance, a woman should lose that dance unless previously engaged.

A woman may refuse to dance at a public entertainment.

A young woman chaperoned should not accept a man's invitation, unless he first asks permission of her chaperone.

It is not good taste to keep late hours at an informal dance.

In round dances the man supports the woman with his right arm around the waist, taking care not to hold her too closely. Her right hand is extended, held by his left hand, and her left hand is on his arm or shoulder, her head erect.

When tired, the woman should indicate a desire to stop dancing.

When the dancing ends, the woman takes her partner's arm and strolls about a few minutes. He then conducts her to her seat by her chaperone, and, after a few remarks, excuses himself.

When supper is announced, and the young woman and her chaperone are in conversation with the man who danced with her last, they should accept his offer as escort if they are not already provided with one.

If a woman is without escort when supper is announced, she must rely upon attendants or members of the host's family.

At balls and assemblies where small tables are provided for the supper, the woman should not sit alone at a table with her partner, but she should have others present also.

DEBUTANTE. At a debutante's reception the first partner is selected by the mother, usually the nearest and dearest friend, who dances but once with her, and the others follow.



DANCES (FORMAL).

HOST. When supper is announced, the host leads the way with his partner, followed by hostess and escort, the rest following.

HOSTESS. She should limit the number of guests to the capacity of the house.

Invitations should include more men than women, for some men may not attend, and of those who do come, some may not dance.

An awning and carpet should be spread from curb to steps. The man stationed at the curb should open carriage doors for arriving and departing guests, distribute carriage- checks, and tell the drivers at what hour to return.

The servant opening the door directs the guests to their respective dressing-rooms.

A small orchestra should be provided and concealed behind palms or flowers.

In the absence of polished floors, carpets should be covered with linen crash, tightly and securely laid, in order to stand the strain of dancing.

Friends may assist in taking care of the guests, making introductions, etc.

SUPPER. Supper may be served at one large table or many small ones, as desired.



DANCES (INFORMAL). Dances of this character lack all possible formality. The invitations may be written or verbal.

Piano music is all that is required, played by one of the family or a professional.

Refreshments of a suitable nature are provided.

See also Chaperone. Dances.



DANCING.

INTRODUCTIONS. The man must be introduced to the woman, and should ask her for the pleasure of a dance.

MEN. A man should greet the host as soon as possible after seeing the hostess.

At any function where patronesses are present, a man should bow to the one inviting him, and give her a few words of greeting.

At balls all men should dance, and those who do not, have no place there, though invited.

If a man comes alone and has no partner, he should seek hostess or assistants, and request an introduction to women who dance.

After a dance a man should take a short stroll about the room with his partner before returning to her chaperone. Before retiring he may converse with her in general terms, from which he should have refrained previously.

A man escorting one or more women should see that they are cared for when supper is announced.

A man in conversation with a woman when supper is announced, if she is not engaged, may offer to take her into supper. Her chaperone should be invited at the same time.

Introductions should be made as much as possible before the dancing begins.

If introduced to a young woman, and she is free of engagement for the next dance, the man should invite her to dance.

Before asking a chaperoned woman to dance, the man should ask permission of her chaperone.

A man should pay especial attention to the women of the house, and invite them to dance as early as possible.

A man should seek out those women who, for some reason, are neglected by selfish men, especially unmarried women, and invite them to dance.

Men should keep engagements a few minutes before each dance.

If for some good reason it is desired to break an engagement, it should be done so as to leave ample time for the other to secure a partner for that dance.

In round dances, the man supports the woman with right arm about her waist, taking care not to hold her too closely. His left hand holds her right one, both extended.

The woman should indicate when she desires to stop dancing.

All persons should be at a formal dance not later than half an hour after the hour set.

A man should secure his carriage-check. It is safer to take wraps and coats to the house in case of accidents.

GLOVES. Gloves should be worn at formal dances, and should be put on before entering the room.

SHAKING HANDS. It is not customary to shake hands at formal dances.

SMOKING. Smoking should not be allowed in the dressing-room, but a special room should be provided. Men who dance should not smoke until leaving the house.

WOMEN. The time for the formal dance is indicated on the invitation, and all should be there not later than half an hour after the time set.

At private dances the maid takes and calls for the young woman in the absence of a male escort.

Young women should be chaperoned at all formal dances by their mother or others.

Introductions should be made as much as possible before the dancing begins.



DAUGHTERS.

CARDS. The card of the eldest daughter in society is simply Miss Wilson, and upon her death or marriage the card of the next daughter becomes the same. Where there are unmarried aunts and cousins having the father's name, only the eldest daughter of the eldest man can use the form Miss Wilson.

If two or more sisters enter society at about the same time, their names may appear on their mother's card as The Misses Wilson.

The name of the younger daughter should appear in full on her mother's card—as, Miss Mary Jane Wilson.

Until the younger daughter has formally, made her debut, she visits only intimate friends of the family. After her debut she has no card, and her full baptismal name appears on her mother's card, beneath her name, and not until a year or two after her first appearance does she have a card of her own.

When a mother leaves her daughter's card, it is for the hostess only.

If reception days appear on the mother's card, the daughters also receive on that day, as they have no reception date of their own.

After an entertainment the cards of the family may be left for the host and hostess by the eldest daughter.

The eldest daughter has her own circle of acquaintances, and can visit and receive independently of her mother.



DUTIES AT BALLS. See BALLS—DUTIES OF DAUGHTERS.



DAUGHTER OF BARON—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain, Madam, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Miss Wilson, and ends: Believe me, I remain sincerely yours.

The envelope addressed to the eldest daughter reads: To the Honorable Miss Wilson, but to a younger daughter: To the Honorable Minnie Wilson.



DAUGHTER OF DUKE—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable the Lady Jane F. Wilson.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Jane, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Jane, very faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lady Jane F. Wilson.



DAUGHTERS OF EARL—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable the Lady Jane F. Wilson.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Jane, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Jane, very faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lady Jane F. Wilson.



DAUGHTER OF MARQUIS—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Ladyship's most obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable the Lady Jane F. Wilson.

A social letter begins: Dear Lady Jane, and ends: Believe me, dear Lady Jane, very faithfully yours.

The address is: To the Lady Jane F. Wilson.



DAUGHTER OF VISCOUNT—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, and ends: I have the honor to remain, madam, your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Miss Wilson, and ends: Believe me, Miss Wilson, sincerely yours.

The envelope addressed to the eldest daughter would read: To the Honorable Miss Wilson, but to a younger daughter: To the Honorable Minnie Wilson.



DAYS AT HOME. Only very intimate persons should call on any other days than those named on an At Home card.



DAY OF WEDDING. The wedding-day is named by the bride, and her mother's approval is asked by the groom.



DEATH IN THE FAMILY. Cards, writing-paper, and envelopes should be bordered in black. The announcement of the death may be printed or engraved, preferably the latter. Full name of deceased, together with date of birth and death, and residence, should be given.

The frequenting of places of amusements, entertainments, or social functions should not be indulged in for at least a year if in mourning for near relatives.

CONDOLENCE. After a death in the family of an acquaintance, a card with the word Condolence written on it should be left in person or by messenger. For very intimate acquaintances, cut flowers may be left in person or sent, together with a card or letter, unless request has been made not to do so.



DEBUTANTE. A debutante should make her debut between the ages of seventeen and twenty, and should not appear at any public function before her debut. She should be thoroughly versed in the laws of good society. She should be extremely cautious at all times in her dealings with men. She should follow, without reserve, the advice of mother or chaperone. She should avoid forwardness, and be quiet in manner and in speech. Men acquaintances should be carefully chosen, and great care exercised in accepting invitations from them.

AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL). When a tea is given in honor of a debutante, she stands beside the hostess (usually her mother), and each guest is introduced to her. Flowers should be liberally provided, and friends may contribute on such an occasion.

A debutante should not make any formal visits alone the first year, and should not receive men visitors unless her chaperone is present. Should a man call during the first season, and neither her mother nor her chaperone be present, she should decline the visit. She may make and receive visitors alone the second season.

When calling upon a debutante, men and women should leave cards for her and her mother.

CARDS. A debutante should use her mother's card with her name engraved under her mother's, but after a season she uses her own card. Personal cards should not be used during the first season. If she is the eldest unmarried daughter, her name is engraved (as, Miss A—) beneath her mother's name, but if there are other sisters, with the initials (as, Miss A. A—).

The cards of a debutante may be sent by mail or messenger.

DANCES. A debutante always receives with her mother standing by her side. A good order is for the mother to stand nearest the door, the debutante next, and the father last.

It is a good plan for the debutante to ask a few of her girl friends to stand beside her the first half hour.

The mother should introduce guests to her daughter, who may introduce them to her friends.

The debutante shakes hands with each one introduced to her. She dances every dance, and at the end stands beside her mother to receive the greetings of the guests.

The girls standing up with the debutante after the first hour are free to dance and enjoy themselves as they please without standing in line again.

MEN. Her mother should select in advance the man who is to have the pleasure of the first dance with the debutante at her debut. No man should dance more than once with the debutante. If well acquainted with the family, a man may send flowers to a debutante at the time of her first debut. A man should make a formal call on mother and daughter a day or two after her debut, and, if unable to do so, he should send a card.

DEBUT. When her mother receives visits after her debut, the daughter is included, and should be present. The mother should keep a complete record of the visits made by entering the cards in a book kept for that purpose.

FLOWERS. Friends should send flowers to a debutante at a formal tea given in her honor.

MEN. When calling upon a debutante, a man should leave cards for her and her mother, whether the entertainment was attended or not.

See also DEBUTS.



DEBUTS. A debut may be made at a dinner, reception, or ball. The debutante's card should be enclosed with the invitation, reading: Miss Wilson; or, if a younger daughter, Miss Minnie Wilson. For an "At Home" debut, the least formal of all these entertainments, the name of the debutante is engraved below that of her mother.

The mother and elder unmarried sisters prior to the debut should call formally upon those whom they wish to invite to the ceremony. Cards of the family are left, including those of father and brothers.

BALLS—INVITATIONS. When a young woman is to be introduced into society by a ball given in her honor, the parents may use a Mr. and Mrs. calling card, with the words added in writing: Dancing at ten o'clock, with card of the debutante enclosed.

Or the parents may use a specially engraved invitation.

CARDS, LEAVING. At the entertainments at a debut, as at a supper, cards should be left for the mother and daughter, and if guests are unable to be present, they should send them the day of the entertainment.

ENTERTAINMENTS. Debuts may be an "At Home," supper, or dinner, the latter being more formal, and only intimate friends being invited. When making her debut, the debutante should stand beside her mother in the drawing-room, near the door, and be introduced by her. On formal occasions the father stands with them. The debutante may receive flowers from intimate friends only.

AT HOMES. These are the least formal.

SUPPERS OR DINNERS. If the debut takes the form of a supper or dinner, the brother takes in the debutante, and the father the most distinguished woman; or, if there is no brother, he takes in the debutante himself, and she is seated at his left hand. The mother is escorted by the most distinguished man.

Should dancing follow, the mother should select the first partner, who dances but once, when others are at liberty to follow.

GUESTS. Guests should offer congratulations to a debutante at her debut in a few well-chosen words, and also to the parents. A few moments of conversation with her only is admissible.

INVITATIONS. Invitations are engraved, and should be sent by mail or messenger two weeks in advance, addressed to Mr. and Mrs. A, or Mrs. B, or The Misses A. While the invitations to a family may be enclosed in one envelope and sent to the principal one of the family, the son of the family should receive a separate invitation. Men should receive separate invitations and acknowledge them, in person.

Acknowledgment is mot necessary for an "At Home" debut occurring in the afternoon, but would be for a formal one in the evening, for which special engraved invitations had been sent.

If invitations for an afternoon "At Home" reception are accepted, cards should be left for mother and daughter. And, if not attending, cards should be sent by mail or messenger.



DIAMOND WEDDINGS. These occur after seventy- five years of married life, and naturally are of very rare occurrence. If they are celebrated, the invitation may bear the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitation. An entertainment should be provided for. Any article of diamonds or precious stones is appropriate as a gift.



DINNERS. If the circle of acquaintances is large, a series of dinners is necessary during the season.

Dinners should begin at an hour between seven-thirty and eight-thirty.

The dining-room should be bright and attractive, well lighted, and artistically decorated with flowers.

The success of a dinner lies in the selection of the guests, with regard to their congeniality to each other, and their conversational powers and varying attainments. It is better to have a few at a time, perhaps eight, as a larger number is unmanageable.

CALLS. Guests should call soon after the dinner.

DRESS. Full dress is worn by both men and women.

GUESTS. When guests are not congenial, or have dislikes, they should not show it, but appear as if the contrary were the case.

Guests should be prompt in arriving at the hour named.

At the table it is in good taste to accept whatever is offered, eating it or not, as one desires. Wines should be accepted, even if one does not partake of them. And if a toast is offered, a guest should recognize the courtesy by raising his glass.

Conversing across the table is permissible, provided the distance does not require the voice to be unduly raised.

When coffee is served in the drawing-room, young women serve, and the men hand it to the guests.

When the men re-enter the drawing-room after the coffee, the guests should retire, unless some further entertainment follows. This is usually about eleven o'clock. When leaving, a guest should thank the host and hostess, making some agreeable and appropriate remark suitable to the occasion.

HOST. When dinner is announced, the host offers his left arm to the woman he escorts. She may be the special invited guest, or the most prominent guest present.

The signal for all to rise is given by the hostess, who bows to the woman on the host's right. The men escort the women to the door or drawing-room, after which they return, and cigars and liquors are offered.

The host wears full dress.

GUEST LATE. The host should always come forward to shake hands with the late-comer, and help him to find his seat, and do all in his power to make his late-coming quickly overlooked.

HOSTESS. The hostess receives her guest at the parlor entrance.

At table the guests should remain standing until all have found their places, when the host and hostess seat themselves, after which the others follow. The men should assist the women they escort before taking their own seats.

At an informal dinner a hostess should introduce a man to the woman he is to escort to dinner, informing him whether he is to sit on the right or left hand of the host.

When the dinner is announced the host with his escort leads the way, followed by the guests, and the hostess and her escort come last.

GUEST LATE. The hostess should always bow and shake hands with a guest arriving late, but does not rise unless the guest is a woman.

HOURS. Dinners begin from 7 to 8 P.M., and usually last from one hour to an hour and a half.

INTRODUCTIONS. If a man is not acquainted with the woman assigned to him, the hostess should introduce him to the woman.

INVITATIONS. These should be acknowledged immediately by a letter of acceptance, or declining with regret.

The invitations are given in the name of husband and wife, and should be sent out two or four weeks in advance. R. S. V. P. is not used, and they should be answered immediately.

Invitations to a dinner in honor of a special guest are engraved, and state this fact. If for good reasons there is not sufficient time to engrave, an ordinary invitation may be used, and a visiting-card enclosed, upon which is written: To meet Miss Wilson.

For ceremonious dinners, cards may be engraved, with place for guest's name left blank and filled in by hand.

When frequent dinners are given, invitations may be engraved, with blanks to be filled with dates, etc.

Written invitations are also proper to indicate an unceremonious dinner. Note sheets can be used.

HUSBAND AND WIFE. Both the husband and wife should always be invited to a dinner.

When a husband and wife are invited to dinner, and the former does not accept, the wife should decline, giving her reason. The hostess can then invite the wife only, who may accept.

MEN. Full dress is necessary for all except informal dinners.

The man at the door, after asking the guest's name, hands him an envelope, with his name upon it, enclosing a card with the name of the woman he is to escort to dinner; or these envelopes may be in the dressing- rooms, if preferred. It will also be designated at which side of the table (right or left) a man is to sit; or a diagram of the table, with the names of the guests, should be hung in each dressing-room. The guests pair off as indicated.

As soon as possible a man should seek the woman assigned to him, and inform her that he will be pleased to act as her escort, disguising any personal preference he may have otherwise.

He should offer his left arm when escorting her to dinner.

When the dinner is announced, the host leads the way with the woman he escorts, and the rest follow. To avoid confusion, a man should remember on which side of the table he is to sit, his place being indicated by a dinner card.

If unacquainted with the woman a man is to escort to dinner, he should seek an introduction from the hostess.

When the women rise to leave, the men rise and remain standing until the women leave the dining-room, or they may accompany them to the drawing-room, and then return for coffee and cigars. They should not remain longer than half an hour.

LEAVING CARDS. After a dinner a man should leave a card for host and hostess, whether the invitation was accepted or not; or it may be sent by mail or messenger, with an apology for so doing.

PRECEDENCE. The host offers his right arm to the woman who is the guest, or the most distinguished woman, or the eldest, or the one invited for the first time. If the dinner is given in honor of a married couple, the host would take in the wife, and the husband would accompany the hostess, who comes last in the procession into the dining-room.

It is a fixed rule that relatives, or husbands and wives, are never seated together.

If possible, there should be an equal number of men and women, and if the latter outnumber the former, the hostess enters alone.

SECOND HELPING. At formal dinner parties, luncheons, and breakfasts, second helpings are never offered by the host or hostess, and should not be asked for by the guests. This is only permissible at a small dinner party or at the daily family meal.

Of course, this does not apply to a second glass of water for which the guest might ask, or for wine, for which the butler should keep a good lookout.

TABLE ETIQUETTE. See TABLE ETIQUETTE.

WOMEN. When wraps have been removed, and the woman leaves the dressing-room, the escort chosen by the hostess approaches and makes known the fact, accompanying her to the table. If the escort is not thoroughly agreeable to the woman, she should conceal the fact.

At the conclusion of a dinner the hostess rises and the women follow, leaving their napkins unfolded. They retire to the drawing-room, while the men remain for coffee and cigars. If the men prefer, they may escort them to the drawing-room, where they bow and return.

GLOVES. Women may remove their gloves at table, and it is not necessary to replace them. They should be laid in the lap. The hostess generally determines whether the women should resume their gloves or not by her own actions.

Full dress is worn.

GIVEN BY MEN—WOMEN. A young woman may accept a man's invitation, provided she has the consent of her mother or guardian, and is assured that there will be present a chaperone.

GIVEN BY BACHELORS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS.



DINNER DANCE.

INVITATIONS. The hostess issues two sets of invitations—one for those invited to both the dinner and the dance, and one for those invited to the dance only.

For the former she could use her usual engraved dinner cards with the words: Dancing at eleven, and for the latter her usual engraved At Home cards with the words: Dancing at eleven.

A less formal way for the latter invitation is to use the Mr. and Mrs. card or Mrs. and Miss card, and to write on it in the lower left hand corner: Dancing at ten, February the tenth.



DOCTOR—HOW ADDRESSED. A doctor or physician should be addressed as Dr. both by correspondence and in conversation.

This title of Dr. must not be confounded with the honorary degree of Doctor of Divinity, conferred upon clergymen by educational institutions, and the degree of Doctor of Philosophy, conferred upon college professors after certain conditions of study have been complied with.



DOWAGER DUCHESS. See DUCHESS, DOWAGER.



DOWAGER MARCHIONESS. See MARCHIONESS, DOWAGER.



DRESS.

AFTERNOON. See AFTERNOON—DRESS.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS—DRESS.

AT HOMES. See AT HOMES—DRESS.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELOR'S DINNERS— DRESS.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELOR'S TEAS—DRESS.

BALLS. See BALLS—DRESS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS—DRESS.

CHRISTENINGS. See CHRISTENING—DRESS.

COTILLIONS. See COTILLIONS—DRESS.

COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS. See COTILLIONS BY SUBSCRIPTIONS—DRESS.

DANCES. See DANCES—DRESS.

DINNERS. See DINNERS—DRESS.

EVENING. See EVENING DRESS.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES—DRESS.

HIGH TEAS. See HIGH TEAS—DRESS.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES—DRESS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS—DRESS.

MATINEES. See MATINEES—DRESS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES—DRESS.

THEATRES. See THEATRES—DRESS.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS—DRESS.



DRESS—MEN AND WOMEN. For particulars as to dress at different functions, see each entertainment —as, Balls, Dinners, At Homes, Theatres, Breakfasts, etc.



DRESS—WOMEN.

BRIDE. See BRIDE—DRESS.

BRIDESMAIDS. See BRIDESMAIDS—DRESS.

CALLS. See CALLS—WOMEN—DRESS.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS—WOMEN—DRESS.

MAID OF HONOR. See MAID OF HONOR—DRESS.

MOURNING. See MOURNING—DRESS, WOMEN.

DRESSING-ROOMS. At all entertainments, dressing-rooms should be provided for both the men and for the women, with suitable attendants, where all outer wraps, coats, over- shoes, etc., should be left.



DRIVING

MEN. When driving with a woman, a man should be careful that the carriage is well drawn up to the steps, and that she be given time in which to comfortably seat herself before he begins to drive.

A man when driving with a woman should refrain from asking her permission to smoke, and, of course, would never do so without her permission.

He should be careful to lift his hat as if he were on the street, and if this is not possible, to touch it with the whip in place of a bow.

The host of a coaching party, if he is also the whip, would give the chaperone the seat on the box at the left of his, unless he wished that seat to be occupied by some special young woman. The person occupying this seat should always be helped by the host to climb to her place.

It is customary when the coach is a high one to seat a woman between two men, and they would ascend and descend in the order in which they were seated.

Even if the woman asks a man to drive with her, he should help her to her seat, and be ready to step down when a halt is made to assist her to alight.

It is not customary when a woman has asked a man to drive with her for her to call for him at his club or home, but to meet him at her house.

DRESS. The whip wears a gray suit with a gray high hat and gray gloves, with a white silk tie and white linen. But in summer this costume is often made lighter and more comfortable to suit the weather, and a straw hat or panama, with flannel trousers and dark serge sacque coat, would be in good taste.

There are no hard and fast rules governing the dress of men when driving.

WOMEN. The etiquette in general is the same for a woman as for a man.

When a woman asks a man or a male relative to drive with her, she does not call for him, but meets him at her door. Even if a groom is present, he should help her to mount to her seat, and at the proper time descend before her and help her to alight.



DUCHESS—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Madam, may it please Your Grace, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Grace's obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My Dear Duchess of Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Duchess, yours very truly.

The address on the envelope is: To Her Grace, The Duchess of Kent.



DUCHESS, DOWAGER—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: May it please YOUR Grace, and ends: I have the honor to remain your Grace's obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Duchess Of Kent, and ends: Believe me, dear Duchess, yours very truly.

The address on the envelope is: To Her Grace, The Dowager Duchess of Kent, or, To Her Grace, Minnie, Duchess of Kent.



DUKE—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: My Lord Duke, may it please your grace, and ends: I have the honor to be your grace's most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Duke of Kent, and ends: believe me, dear Duke, your Grace's very faithfully.

The address on the envelope is: To His Grace, The Duke of Kent.

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Duke.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON OF. See Wife of Younger Son of Duke.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Duke.



EARL—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: My Lord, and ends: I have the honor to be your lordship's obedient servant.

The address on the envelope is: To the Right Honorable The Earl Of Kent.

A social letter begins: Dear Lord Kent, and ends: Believe me my dear Lord Kent, very sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: To the Earl of Kent

DAUGHTER OF. See Daughter of Earl.

WIFE OF YOUNGER SON. See Wife of Younger Son of Earl.

YOUNGER SON OF. See Son (Younger) of Earl.



EGGS are usually broken into a glass and eaten with a spoon.



ELEVATOR. Men should remove their hats when riding in an elevator with women, although it is held by some that an elevator is as much a public conveyance as a car, and this act of courtesy as unnecessary in the one place as in the other. Women enter and leave before men.



ENGAGEMENT.

MEN It is his duty to see the woman's parents or guardian, and to make known his intentions, and to tell them fully and frankly about himself, his family, his social position, and business prospects. He should court the fullest investigation, and take his own family into his confidence, but not mention it to others.

PARENTS OF MAN. They should send their pleasant greetings and congratulations, accompanied with flowers, and if both families are old acquaintances, a present may be sent to the prospective bride.

PARENTS OF WOMAN. The first step is to bring together both parents in social intercourse— as, by a dinner given by the man's or woman's family, when friends may be invited, by interchange of notes and congratulations, by any social visit, or by any function that good taste may dictate.

If one family lives out of town, it may invite various members of the other family living in the city to make visits of some duration, as a week or more. These visits should be returned.

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT. This item of news is rarely published in the papers, but if it is, the expense is borne by the family of the woman. The public announcement is usually made at some social entertainment—as, a dinner, tea, or an "At Home," given by either family.

At a formal dinner given by the family of the woman, the father takes out his daughter first and her fiance escorts her mother. At the proper time the father drinks his future son-in-law's health and announces the engagement. All rise, and congratulations follow.

Notes may be written to intimate friends informing them of the happy event.

WOMEN. A woman should at once confide in her parents, and trust to their future guidance and to their making a full investigation of the man, his social condition, and business prospects. They should not mention the matter to others.

Immediately after the engagement, each of the two parties should be introduced to the family of the other party. Before the wedding-cards are issued the woman should leave her card personally at the homes of her friends, but without entering. After the wedding-cards are issued she should not appear at any social function, or make any personal visits, or be seen at any place of amusement.

It is not wise for her to call at the place of business of her fiance, and if a meeting is necessary, it is better to make an appointment elsewhere.

RING. The ring is given by the man immediately after the announcement of the engagement to the woman, who wears it on the third finger of her left hand. It should be a small and unostentatious one. Diamonds, rubies, moonstones, sapphires, and other precious stones may be used.

He may ask the woman to aid him in the selection, but it is better for him to make the selection alone. The woman may give the man an engagement ring or a gift if she wishes.



ENTERTAINMENTS—CALLS AFTER. See CALLS—MEN—AFTER ENTERTAINMENTS.



ENVELOPES, ADDRESSING. See ADDRESSING ENVELOPES.



ESQUIRE. Either ESQ. or MR. may be used in addressing a letter, but never the two at the same time.



EVENING CALLS. When no special day for receiving is indicated, calls may be made at any proper hour, according to the custom of the locality. Men of leisure may call at the fashionable hours, from two till five o'clock in the afternoon, while business and professional men may call between eight and nine in the evening, as their obligations prevent them from observing the fashionable hours.



EVENING DRESS.

Men. Evening dress should be worn on all formal occasions, consisting of the swallow- tail coat of black material, made in the prevailing fashion, with waistcoat and trousers of the same material; or a white vest may be worn.

The linen must be white. Studs or shirt- buttons may be worn, according to fashion. The collar should be high, and the cravat white. Low patent-leather shoes and white kid gloves complete the costume.

Evening dress should be worn at all formal functions after six o'clock—as, balls, dinners, suppers, receptions, germans, formal stag parties, theatre, opera, and fashionable evening calls where women are present.

The phrase, "evening dress," is now used in place of full dress.

A Tuxedo should never be worn when women are present.

See also TUXEDO. CLERGYMAN—EVENING DRESS.

WEDDINGS, EVENING. Full evening dress is worn by the groom and ushers. Guests are likewise in evening dress.

CLERGYMAN. Custom permits a clergyman to wear his clerical dress at all functions where other men wear evening dress, or he may wear evening dress.



EVENING RECEPTIONS. The etiquette is the same as for an afternoon tea (formal), save that no cards are left by the guests, and that they wear evening dress.

See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).



FACSIMILE CARDS, engraved, are no longer used.



FAMILY OF BRIDE. The family, except the father, leave the house first, then the bridesmaids, the maid of honor with the mother, and last the bride with her father or nearest male relative. At church the family is seated by the ushers.

At the conclusion of the ceremony they are the first to be escorted from their pew and to take their carriage for the wedding reception or breakfast.



WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride's father or her nearest male relative takes in the groom's mother, and the bride's mother, as hostess, is taken in by the groom's father.



WEDDING RECEPTION. The parents of both bride and groom stand up with the married couple, and are introduced to the guests.



FAMILY OF GROOM. At the church the family and relatives of the groom are seated on one side, while the family of the bride and her relatives are seated on the other.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The groom's mother is taken in by the bride's father, and the groom's father takes in the bride's mother, who, acting as hostess, comes last.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The parents of both bride and groom stand up with the married couple, and are introduced to the guests.



FAREWELL BACHELOR DINNER. See BACHELOR'S FAREWELL DINNERS.



FAREWELL BRIDAL LUNCHEON. See BRIDE—FAREWELL LUNCHEON.



FATHER OF BRIDE.

DEBUTS. When the debut is a formal one, he stands beside his wife and daughter, and receives the congratulations of the guests. At a supper or dinner he escorts the most distinguished woman. If there is no brother to escort the debutante, he does so, and she is seated at his left hand.

DINNER, ENGAGEMENT. At a formal dinner given by the family of the engaged woman the father takes out his daughter first and her fiance escorts her mother. At the proper time the father drinks to the health of his future son-in-law, and announces the engagement. All rise, and congratulations follow.

He wears evening dress.

The father of the bride, or her nearest male relative, drives to the church with her, and is there received by the ushers and bridesmaids, and escorts her in the procession up the aisle.

After the procession has arrived at the chancel and the groom comes forward to take the bride's hand, he steps back a little way and waits for the clergyman's words: "Who giveth this woman away?" He then places the bride's right hand in that of the clergyman, and retires to his seat in the pew with his family.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. He takes in the mother of the groom, following the ushers and the maids of honor.

WEDDING RECEPTION. He escorts the groom's mother, and receives with the married couple.



FATHER OF GROOM. At a wedding breakfast he should take in the mother of the bride, and at a wedding reception he receives with the bride and groom.

At a church wedding he is, of course, given a front seat among those reserved for the groom's family.

He should wear afternoon dress for an afternoon wedding, and evening dress at an evening wedding.



FEES.

CHRISTENING. See CHRISTENING—FEES

WEDDING. The wedding fee, preferably gold or clean bills in sealed envelope, is given by the best man to the officiating clergyman. Custom leaves the amount to the groom, who should give at least five dollars or more, in proportion to his income and social position. The clergyman usually gives the fee to his wife.

A fee should also be paid to the sexton and the organist



FIANCE, MOURNING FOR. In the event of the death of a woman's betrothed shortly before the date of the wedding, she may wear black for a short period or full mourning for a year.



FINGER-BOWL. The fingers should be dipped in the water and gently rubbed together, and dried on the napkins.



FIRST CALLS. Newcomers and brides are called upon first.

After a country visit, the visitor should call first upon the hostess when the latter returns to town.

Other things being equal, the younger or unmarried woman calls first upon the older or married woman.

A woman returning to town before another one would make the first call.

If one woman issues her AT HOME card before another, she should receive the first call.



FISH should be eaten with a fork held in the right hand and a piece of bread held in the left hand. The bones should be removed from the mouth with the aid of a fork or with the fingers. If by the latter, great delicacy should be used.



FLOWER GIRL. The flower girls—one or two, as may be the case—follow the maid of honor up the isle and strew flowers in the path of the bride, who follows after.

In the procession down the isle they should follow the bride.

Flower girls and pages are not used now as much as formerly.



FLOWERS. Between friends, flowers may be sent as an expression of sympathy in either joy or sorrow.

BIRTH, ANNOUNCEMENT OF. If wishing to send congratulations after a birth, cards should be left in person or sent by a messenger. Cut flowers may be sent with the card.

BRIDE. If she wishes, a bride may present flowers to her bridesmaids, and also to the best man and ushers.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a good opportunity for the guests who desire to present flowers to the mother. This is not obligatory, however, and must remain a matter of personal taste.

CONDOLENCE CALLS. When making a condolence call upon a very intimate friend, cut flowers may be left in person or sent, together with a card, unless request has been made to send none.

DEBUTANTE. Friends should send flowers to a debutante at a formal tea given in her honor.

ENGAGEMENT. Flowers should accompany the greetings from the parents of the man to the parents of the woman.

FUNERALS. See FUNERALS—FLOWERS.

GROOM. He pays for the bridal bouquet carried by the bride at the wedding ceremony, and, if he wishes, for the bouquets carried by the bridesmaids.

MEN. If well acquainted with a debutante's family, a man may send her flowers at the time of her debut.

After a slightly intimate acquaintance, a man can present flowers to a young unmarried woman as a token of sympathy either of joy or sorrow.

It is not usual for a man to send flowers to a woman who is a mere acquaintance.

BALLS. It is permissible for a man, if he wishes, to send flowers to a woman he is to escort to a ball.

THEATRE OR OPERA. It is permissible, but not necessary, for a man to send flowers to the woman he is to take to the theatre or to the opera.

WEDDING TRIP. The best man should arrange beforehand all the details of the trip—such as the tickets, parlor-car, flowers, baggage, etc.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS—FLOWERS.



FORK AND KNIFE. See KNIFE AND FORK.



FORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS (FORMAL).

FORMAL DANCES. See DANCES (FORMAL).



FRUIT. All raw fruit, except melons, berries, and grapefruit, are eaten with the fingers. Canned fruits are eaten with a spoon.



FULL DRESS. This phrase is now no longer in good usage, and instead should be used the term: "Evening Dress," which SEE.



FUNERALS. A member of the family, or very near relative, should take charge of the ceremony and direct the undertaker. A large funeral should be avoided, and the ceremony confined to the immediate family and nearest relatives, and, if possible, the service should be at the church.

All the details of the funeral should be carefully considered and carried out, with the ceremony started at the hour set, and with all appearance of confusion avoided.

It is not now customary to watch by the dead at night.

Funerals should be private, and only those intimately interested should be invited.

CARRIAGES. A carriage should always be provided to call for the clergyman and to take him from the church or cemetery back to his house. Carriages should also be provided to take the friends, mourners, and pall-bearers from the house to the church, and then to the cemetery and return. These are provided by the family.

DRESS. See FUNERALS—MEN.

EXPENSES. Though it is not customary for the clergyman in Protestant churches to expect or to receive fees for conducting funerals, yet it is in perfectly good taste to offer him a fee. In the Roman Catholic Church the rate of fees for funerals is fixed. There are, besides, fees for the sexton, the organist, and the singers.

FLOWERS. The family, in publishing notice of funeral, may add: "Kindly omit flowers." However, in the absence of such a notice, at the public funerals of prominent persons elaborate designs may be sent. But at a private funeral, if flowers are sent, they should be choice and delicate.

The custom is growing of having fewer flowers, and it is no longer in good taste to have a carriage in the procession carrying flowers and set pieces. A good use of the large set pieces is to send them afterward to the hospitals.

If any flowers are laid upon the grave they should be those given by the nearest relatives.

INVITATIONS. A church funeral can be attended by any one, friend or acquaintance, and no slight should be felt at the non-receipt of an invitation. Those attending should take especial pains to be in the church before the funeral procession arrives, and that they do nothing to distract from the solemnity of the occasion.

Notice of death and date of funeral may be printed on heavy bordered cards, or on mourning paper, and sent to friends. Sometimes a notice is written and sent to most intimate friends.

MEN—DRESS. A man should wear either a black frock coat or a black cutaway, with the necktie, gloves, and other parts of the dress as subdued as possible. Under no conditions should light ties or light-colored linen be worn.

PALL-BEARERS. See PALL-BEARERS.

PRECEDENCE. At a church funeral the parents, arm in arm, follow the body of their child, and the children come next in the order of their age.

A widow, leaning on the arm of her eldest son, follows the body of her husband, and the other children come after.

A widower, attended by his eldest daughter or son, follows the body of his wife, and the children come after.

The elder children always precede the younger. The pall-bearers are seated at the left of the main isle, and the near relatives at the right.

PUBLIC NOTICE. When the date of the funeral has been determined upon, notice should be published in the papers, giving date, place, and time of funeral—also date of birth and late place of residence of deceased. Such announcement may contain notice that the interment is private, and also the words: "Kindly omit flowers."

A notice of death and date of funeral may be printed on heavy bordered cards or mourning paper, and sent to friends. Sometimes a notice is written and sent to most intimate friends.

CHURCH. The pall-bearers and the nearest relatives meet at the house. At the appointed hour the procession leaves the house, the casket borne on the shoulders of the undertaker's assistants, followed by the pall-bearers, relatives, and friends.

The same order is followed in the procession up the aisle, the relatives occupying the first pews on the right, the pall-bearers the first pews on the left, of the middle aisle. At the conclusion of the ceremony the friends wait until the family and pall-bearers have left, and then quietly retire.

HOUSE. At a house funeral, some one representing the family should receive the people as they enter and direct them where to go, it being customary for the family and relatives to be in one room and the friends in another.

Usually there are no pall-bearers; but if there are, their duties are the same as at a church funeral. The clergyman should stand near the casket, and if there are musicians they should be so stationed that, while they are not seen, they are easily heard. At the conclusion of the ceremony the friends depart, and thus allow the family and relatives to take the last leave of the deceased before they take the carriages for the cemetery.

It is customary for the family to be in retirement at the hour of the funeral, and they are the first to enter the carriages.

Those in charge of the house should, after the funeral party has left, arrange the apartments to make them as cheerful as possible, and also provide a substantial meal for the mourners on their return.



GARDEN PARTIES.

CARDS. Guests leave their cards in the hall either when entering or leaving only at large garden parties.

DRESS. It is customary for women to wear light afternoon dresses.

Men wear summer business suits, yachting flannels, and straw hats, and even white duck trousers. Gloves are not worn.

The regulation frock coat and high hat is not worn, save by men from the city or at some extremely fashionable affair.

GUESTS. After leaving their outer garments in the dressing-rooms, the guests should pay their respects to the hostess, after which they are free to enjoy themselves as they please.

The usual length of stay is about half an hour or the whole afternoon.

While guests may arrive at their own convenient time, they would do well to remember that they have not the same freedom to come and go as at an afternoon reception.

Guests should take leave of the hostess unless she is very much engaged.

HOSTESS. The hostess wears afternoon dress, and usually one that is dainty and delicate— suitable for a summer afternoon.

She receives on the lawn, shakes hands with each guest, and makes introductions when deemed essential.

She may, if she so desires, receive with some member of her family.

HOURS. These are from 3 to 7 P.M.

INVITATIONS. These are issued in the name of the hostess, and may be engraved or written. Sometimes the hostess writes on her card: GARDEN PARTY, JULY 17, FROM 4 TO 7, or she may use an AT HOME card, and in the lower left-hand corner write: GARDEN PARTY. The engraved card usually indicates an elaborate affair.

These invitations may be sent by mail or messenger.

It is a good plan to add to the invitations some information regarding the trains, or to enclose a time-table.

All such invitations should be promptly acknowledged or declined.

MEN. Men wear summer business suits, white ducks, or yachting flannels, A tennis suit would be permissible.

The regulation frock coat and high hat should be worn only by men from the city attending an affair in the country, or at some extremely fashionable affair.

Men should greet the hostess both on their arrival and departure.

Visiting-cards are left only at large garden parties.

WOMEN. Women wear light, delicate, afternoon dresses.

They should greet the hostess, both on their arrival and departure.

Visiting-cards are left only at large and formal outdoor affairs.



GERMANS. See COTILLIONS.



GIFTS.

AFTER HOUSE PARTY. While not necessary, a guest after a house party may send some trifle to the hostess as a token of pleasure and appreciation.

BEST MAN. After the groom selects the best man, the latter should send a gift to the bride, and may, if he wish, send it to the groom, a custom not yet clearly established.

CHRISTENING. A christening ceremony offers a good opportunity for the invited guests so wishing to send a gift to the baby. These should be sent a day or two before the ceremony, and, if of silver, should be suitably marked with the child's name, initials, or monogram.

ENGAGEMENT. If both families of the engaged couple are old acquaintances, the parents of the man may send a gift along with their greetings and congratulations.

WEDDING. See WEDDINGS—GIFTS.



GIFTS BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN. Books, flowers, and other small articles of decoration are proper gifts to accept.

Sending valuable gifts of jewelry, or any other article, depends largely upon the relationships of the parties, and should not be done unless the sender is sure of its acceptance. Such gifts should not be accepted from mere acquaintances or friends.

It is bad form for a man to send expensive presents to a woman who may be compelled to return them.



GLOVES.

MEN. At the opera or theatre, if in full dress, gloves may be dispensed with, but they are worn with street dress. With formal evening dress, white kid gloves should be worn.

For afternoon dress, gloves should be of undressed kid, gray, tan, or brown. When calling, the glove of the right hand should be removed upon entering the drawing-room.

Gloves should not be worn at high teas.

MEN—AFTERNOON DRESS. Undressed kid gloves of a dark color are worn.

MEN-BALLS. Men should always wear gloves at all balls, in summer or winter, in town or city.

MEN-CALLING ON WOMEN. Gloves need not be removed at a formal or brief call.

MEN-DANCES. Gloves should be worn at formal dances, and should be put on before entering the room.

MEN-HIGH TEA. Men do not wear gloves.

MEN-MOURNING. Black or dark-colored gloves should be worn.

MEN—SHAKING HANDS. At weddings, operas, or dances, and on all very formal occasions, men wear gloves. In shaking hands with women on these occasions gloves should not be removed.

If a hostess wears gloves at any formal affair, a man wears his when he shakes hands with her.

A man with hands gloved should never shake hands with a woman without an apology for so doing, unless she likewise wears gloves. A sudden meeting, etc., may make a hand-shaking in gloves unavoidable. Unless the other party is also gloved, a man should say: "Please excuse my glove."

WOMEN. Gloves should always be worn on the street.

At dinners, or formal teas, women should remove their gloves at the table and place them in their laps.

At dinners and formal teas, when the women have retired to the drawing-room, they may resume their gloves or not, or follow the example of the hostess.

At informal teas or "At Homes" the hostess need not wear gloves.

BREAKFAST. Gloves should be removed at table.

DINNER. Women may remove their gloves at table, and it is not necessary to replace them. They should be laid in the lap. The hostess generally determines by her own actions whether the women should resume gloves or not.

MOURNING. Gloves may be of black kid, suede, or black silk. In the evening, black suede or glace, or white suede should be worn. White gloves with black stitching should not be worn in the evening.

BRIDE. See BRIDE—GLOVES.

GROOM. See GROOM—GLOVES.

USHERS. See USHERS—GLOVES.



GODFATHER. A man asked to be one of the sponsors at a christening ceremony should reply by a written note or by calling in person.

He should call immediately on the parents and send flowers to the mother, and express himself as pleased at the compliment.

He should send a present to the child, usually a piece of jewelry or some silver, and, if a wealthy relative, may deposit a sum of money to the child's credit, and present him with the bank-book.

He should also send with his present one of his calling cards, on which is written some appropriate sentiment.

It is his privilege, when the wine is about to be drunk after the ceremony, to first propose the health of the child and then the health of the mother.

The duties of the godfather at the ceremony consist of assenting to the vows.



GODMOTHER. A woman asked to be a sponsor at a christening should immediately accept or decline the invitation either by a written note or a call.

She should also call on the parents and send flowers to the mother, and express pleasure at the compliment paid to her.

It is always customary for the godmother to give the child a gift, such as a christening robe, a cradle, or some piece of silver. If the latter is sent, it should have the child's name on it. With the gift should be sent the sponsor's calling card, with some appropriate sentiment on it. It is customary to send the gift to the child itself.



GOLDEN WEDDINGS. Fifty years after the wedding-day comes the Golden Wedding. The invitations may bear the words: NO PRESENTS RECEIVED, and congratulations may be extended in accepting or declining the invitation. An entertainment is usually provided for.

The gifts are, appropriately, articles of gold, and this is a fitting occasion for giving fifty gold pieces of either, five, ten, or twenty dollar denomination. The invitations are appropriately engraved in gold, and the decorations golden in color.



GOVERNOR OF A STATE—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have the honor, sir, to remain your obedient servant.

A social letter begins: Dear Governor Wilson, and ends: Believe me, most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Governor John J. Wilson.



GRAPES AND PLUMS should be eaten one by one, and the pits allowed to fall noiselessly into the half-closed hand and then transferred to the plate.



GROOM. The groom selects his best man, usually an unmarried intimate friend, though a married man or widower is permissible. After consultation with the bride he calls upon the clergyman, the organist, the sexton, and invites the ushers.

When he is informed by his bride of the day selected for the wedding, he should ask her mother to accept the day agreed upon.

He may make what present he desires to the bride, and, if he also wishes, to the brides- maids. If any gifts are sent to the groom, they should bear his name or cipher.

He should furnish the bride's family with a list of names of persons to whom he desires to have invitations sent, designating his preference for those to be asked to the wedding breakfast or reception.

BEFORE CEREMONY. The day before the ceremony, or sooner, he gives into the safe- keeping of the best man the ring and the fee for the clergyman.

He also sends or hands the marriage license (if one is needed) to the officiating clergyman before the ceremony.

CHURCH, It is not customary for the groom to see his bride on the wedding-day till he meets her at the altar. The groom and the best man usually breakfast together on the wedding-day and arrive in ample time at the church.

Upon the arrival of the bride in the vestibule, the clergyman enters the chancel, followed by the groom and the best man. The groom then steps forward, and stands at the left of the clergyman, facing the audience. It is a good plan for both the groom and best man to leave their hats in the vestry, but if the groom has not done so, he gives his hat and gloves to the best man on the approach of the bride, and advances to meet her. He gives her his left arm, and together they stand before the clergyman.

At the proper moment he receives the ring from the best man and hands it to the bride. It is no longer in good form for him to kiss the bride after the ceremony, but after receiving the congratulations of the clergyman to give her his right arm, and together they lead the procession to the vestibule.

CLERGYMAN. While the bride selects the officiating clergyman, it is the place of the groom to call upon him in regard to the details, and to pay him the fee.

If the clergyman from any cause—as, living outside of the State—cannot legally perform the ceremony, a magistrate should be present to legalize the marriage, and should receive a fee.

DRESS-EVENING WEDDING. He wears full evening dress.

DRESS-MORNING OR AFTERNOON WEDDING. He wears afternoon dress, consisting of a double-breasted frock coat of dark material, waistcoat, single or double (preferably the latter), of same material, or more usually of some fancy material of late design. The trousers should be of light pattern, avoiding extremes. The linen should be white, and the tie white or light material, and the gloves of gray suede. These, with patent-leather shoes and a silk hat, complete the costume.

EXPENSES. He pays for the license fee, the organist's fee, and a fee to the sexton.

Nothing less than five dollars in gold, clean bills, or a check in a sealed envelope, or more, according to social position and financial income, should be the clergyman's fee. Should there be one or two additional clergymen, he pays a fee to each, the fee of the officiating clergyman being double that of the others.

He pays for the carriages of the ushers, the one for himself and the best man, and the one which takes away the married couple on their wedding trip.

He pays for the bouquet carried by the bride, and, if he wishes, for the bouquets carried by the bridesmaids. He also pays for the cuff-buttons or scarf-pins, and, if he wishes, for the gloves and neckties given to the ushers and the best man.

He pays for the wedding-ring—a plain gold one, with initials of bride and groom and date of marriage engraved thereon. He may also present some souvenirs to the bridesmaids.

He may give a farewell dinner a few evenings before the wedding to his best man, ushers, and a few intimate friends. He sits at the head of the table and the best man opposite, and on this occasion he may give the scarf-pins or cuff-buttons, also neckties and gloves, if he wishes, to the best man and ushers.

FAREWELL DINNER. See BACHELOR'S FAREWELL DINNER.

GLOVES. At a morning or afternoon wedding, the groom wears gray suede gloves.

At an evening wedding he wears white kid gloves.

WEDDING BREAKFAST. The bride and groom enter first, and are seated at the principal table.

WEDDING RECEPTION. The groom and his bride stand side by side and receive the congratulations of all present. The guests serve them refreshments.

See also BEST MAN. BRIDE. USHERS. All items under WEDDINGS.



GROOM'S FAMILY. See FAMILY OF GROOM.



GROOM'S FATHER. See FATHER OF GROOM.



GROOM'S MOTHER. See MOTHER OF GROOM.



GUESTS.

GUEST OF HONOR AT BALLS, if the ball is given in honor of some special person, he should be met on his arrival, introduced to the women of the reception committee, escorted to the seat prepared for him, and be attended to the whole evening by the management of the ball.

At the end of the ball, he should be escorted to his carriage.

LATE AT DINNERS. When a guest arrives late he should make a short and suitable apology to the hostess, and then take his seat as quickly and as quietly as possible.

The hostess shakes hands with the guest, but does not rise unless the guest is a woman.

The host should in either case rise and meet the guest, and assist him in finding his seat, and endeavor, by making the conversation general, to distract attention from the event.

For duties of guests, see other functions— as, BALLS—GUESTS, CHRISTENINGS—GUESTS, etc.



HAND-SHAKING—INTRODUCTIONS. Women and men on being introduced may shake hands, but it is not good form. A polite bow, a smile, and friendly recognition is more correct. If an advance is made by either party, it should be immediately accepted.



HAT.

MEN—CALLING. When making a formal or brief call, the hat should be carried in the hand into the parlor.

In apologizing to a woman, opening a door, or rendering any service to a woman in public, or in answering a question, the hat should be raised.

When seeing a woman to her carriage, he should raise his hat upon closing the carriage door. When attentions are offered by another man to a woman whom he is escorting, a man raises his hat in acknowledgment of the courtesy and thanks the party.

In a street-car a man raises his hat when giving his seat to a woman.

On the railroad a man removes his hat in the parlor-car, but not in the day coach.

In an elevator a man should remove his hat in the presence of women.

In hotels where corridors are reserved and used as places of meeting and recreation by the guests, no hats should be worn. Standing uncovered when talking to a woman on the street is generally embarrassing to her, and it is better to make a polite bow and replace it after a few seconds.

MOURNING. A crape band around the hat should be worn—the width of the band being determined by the character of the bereavement.



HIGH TEA. This is an elaborate entertainment, and an elaborate menu is generally served.

CALLS. Calls should be made in person one week after the event.

GUESTS. Guests wear evening dress, and should not remain more than half an hour.

INVITATIONS. These are engraved, and the hour for the entertainment specified. They should be issued in the name of the hostess only, except in such cases when the entertainment is the occasion of a debut or another woman assists, in which event her name appears likewise.

The invitations should be promptly accepted or declined.

MEN. Full dress is worn, but men do not wear gloves.

WOMEN. Full dress is worn.



HOME WEDDINGS. Weddings at the homes of the brides vary much, according to the taste of the participants. The ushers, bridesmaids, best man, and maid of honor are generally dispensed with; but if present, their duties are the same as at a church wedding, with minor differences.

The clergyman stands in a large room decorated with flowers, facing the audience, with the groom beside him. The bride enters on the arm of her father, followed by the bridesmaids and ushers, and the ceremony proceeds as at a church, with the usual congratulations to the groom and best wishes to the bride.

Refreshments are served, either formal or informal. At an afternoon ceremony men wear the regulation afternoon dress, and if in the evening, the usual evening dress.



HONEYMOON, See WEDDING TRIP.



HONOR, SEAT OF. The seat of honor is at the right of the host.



HOST.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS—HOST.

BACHELORS' DINNERS. See BACHELORS' DINNERS— HOST.

BACHELORS' TEAS. See BACHELORS' TEAS—HOST.

BALLS. See BALLS—HOST.

DANCES. See DANCES (FORMAL)—HOST.

DINNERS. See DINNERS—HOST.

MATINEES. See MATINEES—HOST.

THEATRES. See THEATRE AND OPERA PARTIES GIVEN BY MEN.



HOSTESS.

INTRODUCTIONS. Introductions to the hostess at an "At Home" or reception by women assisting hostess, to those who have been invited to the entertainment by them, are not recognized thereafter unless by mutual consent.

The hostess receiving in her own home should offer her hand to all to whom she is introduced.

The hostess introduces her immediate family to all her guests. No formal permission is necessary.

In the case of one woman desiring an introduction to another, the hostess should be asked to bring this about.

INTRODUCTIONS BY CHAPERONES. At entertainments both the chaperone and her protege should enter together, and the chaperone should introduce her protege to the hostess.

WOMEN CALLING UPON. When calling formally upon a hostess, a woman should leave a card, whether the hostess was at home or not.

When a son enters society, his mother, when calling, can leave his cards for him, and invitations to entertainments will follow. If it is impossible for him to leave cards for himself she may continue to do so.

WOMEN LEAVING CARDS ON. When a mother leaves her daughter's card, it is for the hostess only.

HIGH TEAS. See HIGH TEAS—HOSTESS.

HOUSE PARTIES. See HOUSE PARTIES—HOSTESS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS—HOSTESS.

MATINEES. See MATINEES—HOSTESS.

SHAKING HANDS. See SHAKING HANDS—HOST.

WEDDINGS. See MOTHER OF BRIDE.



HOURS.

AFTERNOON TEAS. See AFTERNOON TEAS—HOURS.

BREAKFASTS. See BREAKFASTS—HOURS.

CALLS. See CALLS—HOURS.

DINNERS. See DINNERS—HOURS.

GARDEN PARTIES. See GARDEN PARTIES—HOURS.

LUNCHEONS. See LUNCHEONS—HOURS.

MUSICALES. See MUSICALES—HOURS.

RECEPTIONS. See RECEPTIONS—HOURS.

WEDDINGS. See WEDDINGS—HOURS.



HOUSE FUNERALS. See FUNERALS—HOUSE.



HOUSE PARTIES. These usually refer to a group of congenial persons, numbering from four to twenty-four, and visiting country homes, making a stay of a few days or a few weeks.

DRESS. The length of the visit and the nature of the house party determines the extent of wardrobe necessary. A guest should carry at least three changes of suits—one for the morning, one suitable for afternoon entertainments, picnics, etc., and the regulation evening dress.

GUEST. To be a welcome guest the visitor should accommodate himself as much as possible to the plans of his hostess and the ways of the home life.

A visitor should avoid the common mistake of refusing to make a choice when a choice is offered.

A guest should try to be congenial with the other guests, kind to the servants, and to be considerate of all others.

EXPENSES. The hostess should furnish transportation for both guests and baggage to and from the station.

Each guest should pay for all expenses incurred by him, and be especially careful, in the case of sickness or misfortune, that some items are not overlooked.

LETTER AFTER DEPARTURE. If the visit has been more than two days, the guest should write a short letter to the hostess, telling of the pleasure the visit gave them and their safe journey home.

A guest so desiring might send some trifle as a gift to the hostess.

TIPPING SERVANTS. Unless a hostess positively requests her guests not to tip, a guest, when leaving at the end of a visit at a private house, should remember the servants. The average American, from lack of a definite standard, too often errs on the side of giving too much.

Those giving personal service should be remembered, as well as those who render service— as, the coachman and outside servants.

HOSTESS. While careful to provide entertainment for her guests, a hostess should be careful not to overentertain, and to allow each guest ample time in which to enjoy themselves any way they please. If an entertainment is planned for the afternoon, it is well to leave the mornings open, and VICE VERSA.

The success of the hostess depends on her making the guests feel free from care and ENNUI.

CARING FOR THE SICK. In addition to the regular care of the guest's room and attention to his comfort and pleasure, a hostess should double her energies in case her guest is sick.

She is not called upon to pay for the expenses of telegrams, doctor's bills, medicines, etc., contracted by the guest. If a guest departed without attending to these matters, the hostess would have to pay for them.

GIVING FAREWELL, To VISITORS. A hostess should, in bidding farewell to her visitors, see that she does not overdo it.

While it is not strictly necessary that a hostess should accompany a guest to the depot, yet many still follow this rule, especially in the case of an unmarried woman, and are careful to see to all the details of checking baggage, etc.

In the case of a bachelor, such attention is not necessary.

A hostess conveys at her own expense both the guest and baggage to and from the station.

GREETING VISITORS. When an hour of arrival is specified in an invitation, the guest should be met at the station, especially an unmarried woman, by the hostess or host. In case of married couples or bachelors, a man servant may meet them.

In all cases the hostess should arrange for the conveyance of both the guests and their luggage.

A hostess accompanies a woman to the guest chamber, but sends a man servant with a bachelor to the latter's room.

INVITATIONS. These should state definitely when a visit is to begin and to end. It is also a good plan to allude in the invitation to any special amusement or entertainment.

These invitations should be answered promptly.

MEN—DRESS. A man should carry with him one business suit, evening clothes, and one outing suit suitable for afternoon entertainments —as, picnics, tennis, etc. This is almost indispensable, and more depends upon the nature of the entertainments and the length of the visit.

WOMEN—DRESS. A woman should take at least three changes of dress—one to travel in and wear in the morning, one for evening wear, and a third for afternoon picnics, outings, etc. The length of her visit and the nature of the entertainments and her individual taste determines how much she may increase this.



HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES, MEMBER OF. An official letter begins: SIR, and ends: I HAVE, SIR, THE HONOR TO REMAIN YOUR MOST OBEDIENT SERVANT.

A social letter begins: MY DEAR MR. WILSON and ends: I HAVE THE HONOR TO REMAIN MOST SINCERELY YOURS.

The address on the envelope is: HON. JOHN F. WILSON.



HUSBAND AND WIFE—CARDS, VISITING. See CARDS, VISITING-HUSBAND AND WIFE.



IN MEMORIAM CARDS. Printed or engraved notes, or special cards, can be used, and should be heavily bordered. Custom allows much diversity as to the contents of the card. Place and date of birth, residence, date of death, and any other information of interest to friends and relatives may be given.



INFANT'S CARDS. The full name of the child should be engraved, with date of birth in lower left-hand corner, enclosed in envelope with mother's card, and sent by mail. Such cards are generally held together with white ribbon.



INFORMAL AFTERNOON TEAS. These are the usual afternoon teas. By formal afternoon teas are meant those for which specially engraved cards have been issued, and at which all the arrangements are more elaborate.

See AFTERNOON TEAS.



INTERIOR, SECRETARY OF—HOW ADDRESSED. An official letter begins: Sir, and ends: I have, sir, the honor to remain your most obedient servant.

A social letter begins: My dear Mr. Wilson, and ends: I have the honor to remain most sincerely yours.

The address on the envelope is: Hon. John J. Wilson, Secretary Of The Interior.



INTRODUCTIONS. One should be careful in making introductions. It is easier to evade than to cause disagreeable complications. It is unpardonable to introduce one party to another after having been warned not to do so.

Forgetting a person's name when about to introduce is awkward, and when it does occur, one should apologize and ask name. If a person fails to hear the name, it is proper to inform the one to whom you are introduced and to say: "Pardon me, but I failed to hear your name." In making introductions one should distinctly pronounce the names.

Parents should not speak of or introduce their children as MISS ANNA, but simply MY DAUGHTER ANNA. Only before servants should they be spoken of as MISS ANNA.

Persons of celebrity should have introductions made to them. Men should always be introduced to women, the younger to an elder person, and unmarried persons to the married. Persons at an entertainment are introduced to the guest of the occasion.

Women and men on being introduced may shake hands, but it is not good form. A polite bow, a smile, and friendly recognition is more correct.

Those invited to an entertainment are on equal footing; it is therefore not necessary to introduce one to another. Conversation may be held without this formality, though introductions may take place if desired. When an introduction occurs, future recognition is not warranted. For this reason great care should be exercised at entertainments that only those who are congenial to each other should be brought together.

At small gatherings it is more kindly to introduce. When many are present, it is not customary to do so.

Introductions should not take place in a church or on the steps.

It is quite proper to introduce one group to another without formality at any outdoor function—athletic games, etc. Such introductions need not imply further acquaintance if undesirable.

DANCING. The man must be introduced to the woman, and he should ask her for the privilege of a dance.

ENTERTAINMENTS. Introductions are not absolutely required at musicales, teas, "At Homes," etc. One may converse with those nearest, but this does not warrant future recognition.

MEN. Men are introduced to women and single men to married men.

When introduced to a woman, a man should bow but not shake hands, and make some pleasant observations, and express pleasure at the introduction.

When introduced to another man, the man should shake hands.

Business introductions are immediate and personal, and are intended to bring men together without much formality. No formality is required in introducing one man to another on casual meeting.

It is well to avoid exaggerated expressions, as: "Delighted to meet you," or "Glad to know you." A simple "How do you do" is better.

A man introducing another to a woman should first ask her permission to do so. This gained, he introduces him with the remark: "Mr. Smith desires to be introduced to Miss Wilson."

A woman's permission should first be obtained by the party introducing. Very often off-hand introductions take place; but it is better to be more formal and careful, as indicated. If she evades or declines, a man should accept it without any show of feeling, and make it as easy for her as possible.

After an introduction at an entertainment, when a man meets the woman on the street, she should bow first if she desires to continue the acquaintance.