Disgusting Habits.

Lift cups by the handles, and wineglasses by the stem, and do not tip them up, until almost reversed upon the face, in order to drain the last drop. It is not necessary, and really bad form to completely empty a wineglass.

Never pick the teeth at the table. Such habits are well calculated to disgust sensitive people, and should be performed in private as much as any other portion of our daily toilet.

Never rinse the mouth with the last mouthful of coffee, tea or water; nothing can be more disagreeable.

Bread should be broken by the fingers in pieces sufficient for mouthfuls, as it is needed. Never butter a slice and cut with a knife; butter each piece as needed. Butter should never be eaten in large quantities.

Cake is broken in bits and eaten from the fingers. Very rich, crumbly, or filled cake may be eaten with a fork; tarts also, unless they are of a nature to permit the use of the fingers, and pastry of all kinds, as well as puddings not too liquid in form.

Muffins can be eaten from the plate with a fork, or they can be torn apart, buttered, and eaten while held in the fingers, like toasted bread. Hot gems can be torn apart and partaken of in the same way. Never take one piece of bread or cake and then reject it for another.

If any little accident should occur at table, do not apologize for it; let it pass without note, and it will be apt to escape observation. If there should be anything accidentally spilled upon the cloth, the waiter should quickly remove the traces, and spread a fresh napkin over the soiled spot.

Fruits.

Apples are pared with a silver knife at table, and eaten in small sections from the fingers. There is often much time devoted to paring fruit by holding it on a fork, not touching it with the fingers. This is unnecessary, unless when a gentleman is preparing the fruit for a lady, or where the peach or pear is too juicy to do otherwise.

Grapes are plucked from their stems and the pulp squeezed into the mouth, while the fingers hold the skin which is then laid on one side the plate. This is far daintier than to put the fruit in the mouth and then eject the skin into the hand or upon the plate. Bananas are peeled and eaten from the plate with a fork. Oranges are skinned, divided into sections, and eaten from the fingers, rejecting the seeds into the hand. Some prefer, however, to cut the end of the orange and eat the pulp with a spoon. Pineapple is the only fruit that must be eaten with a knife and fork.

Silver knives and forks must always be used with fruits, as steel becomes colored by contact with the fruit juices and imparts a disagreeable flavor.

Green corn, in ear, is a stumbling-block, and perhaps one's best plan would be to conform to the custom of the table where you may be. In eating it directly from the ear hold it in one hand only. Some hostesses provide small doilies with which to hold the ear.

If a guest is pleased with any particular dish on the table, a delicate compliment upon its unusual excellence is always pleasing to the hostess.



EVENING PARTIES, RECEPTIONS AND SUPPERS.



The evening party may be as elaborate or as simple an affair as the hostess may desire. In its elaborate form it only differs from the ball in the one respect that dancing may, or may not, be introduced as a feature of the entertainment, while a ball is given for the express purpose of dancing, and is always so understood.

Invitations.

Invitations for an elaborate evening party are sent out ten days or two weeks in advance and are issued in the name of the hostess alone. Husband and wife may be invited together, addressing the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe;" and daughters, if there are several, may be included in one invitation as "The Misses Doe." Sons, if there be more than one, receive separate invitations, though they can be included in one as "Messrs. Doe." But friends, even though sheltered by the same roof-tree, must receive separate invitations. To invite "The Misses Doe and Roe," or "Messrs. Brown and Green," or even "Mrs. Doe and Family," would be in bad form. To invite the husband to any entertainment where there are ladies without including the wife would be a direct insult. Invitations may be sent by post or carried by messengers. (For forms see Department of "Invitations, Formal and Informal.")

Society is so complex, and there is so much ground to cover in picking up its relations that many ladies are tempted to pay off all social debts at once by giving one great crush of an entertainment and inviting all those to whom they are socially indebted. To all these one is tempted to say, "Don't." The labor is less and the pleasure greater where two or more smaller entertainments are given at different times.

A hostess is at liberty to invite only those to whom she is socially indebted, and members of a large social circle from whom she has not received recent hospitalities must not feel hurt at being left out. Where the family is large she may invite some members and not others, but should she courteously invite the entire group, it is a rule of society that never more than three members of the same family should accept an invitation to the same entertainment. Either accept or decline such invitations at once. (For proper forms see department of "Acceptances and Regrets.")

Receiving.

At a large evening party the arrangements for receiving guests, the dressing rooms, etc., and duties of the hostess in receiving, are the same as at a ball, and the supper served in the same fashion.

Ladies invited to help receive are not simply asked as a compliment to their friendship. It is not their sole duty to stand beside the hostess for the hour of coming and smile and shake hands with each guest and then see no more of them that evening. When a lady issues invitations for a large evening gathering she usually decides to ask some intimate friends "to receive with her."

If she expressed what she really meant, and what she supposes her friends understand, she will say: "Will you come and help me in the actual entertaining of the guests, for I shall have only time to stand at the door and say, 'How do you do;' 'Good-by.'" But no, she phrases it conventionally: "Will you come and receive with me?" And so they come in a flock and do nothing but "receive."

Should Make Every One Happy.

A woman who is invited "to receive" should arrive at the hour of the invitation, not one minute before, unless for some especial reason she is requested to do so by her hostess. She should remove her wraps and quietly join her hostess in the rooms below, where, probably, she will have a cup of hot bouillon brought to her at once and maybe a glass of wine. For a half hour or so she should stand with the hostess and only take upon herself the task of greeting, but, as the rooms begin to fill, she should leave her place and go slowly about the rooms, not talking and visiting with friends, and having a good time herself, but passing by the groups of gay and lively ones, who know every one and seek out the solitary and alone. To these is her especial mission, to make them known to some of her own intimates, whose friendship is so certain and so warm that it will stand this demand of introducing a stranger.

An acquaintance is not necessary for this giving of attention. A member of the receiving party may speak to any one in the room without even the form of introducing herself, although, if she sees after a few words that she is unknown she will bring her own name casually into the conversation, making no effort to do so. Any guest will feel flattered on being addressed by the ladies receiving.

Making Things Easy for the Hostess.

Another duty she owes is keeping her eyes on the hostess and seeing that she is never left alone for one single moment in her position by the door. One of the receiving party ought to be beside her constantly ready to execute any wish she may express, as, for instance, if she say: "I see Mrs. K. coming down the stairs; she is a perfect stranger; see that she meets a few—Mrs. Blank, especially." She will greet Mrs. K., chat a second, and quietly draw her to one side continuing the conversation all the time. Then seeing somebody near she will say: "I want you to know Mrs. So-and-So; come over here and let me introduce you." Then she may leave Mrs. K. and look after some other awkward one near, and, after a few minutes, taking some one else up to where Mrs. K. and Mrs. So-and-So still stand, make them known. If Mrs. So-and-So has a kind heart, by this time she will have made Mrs. K. acquainted with some one else. The lady receiving should keep an eye on Mrs. K., particularly if she seems to be afraid to move from one spot, as strangers sometimes are.

Meantime, another member of the receiving party notices that the hostess is alone, and she leaves her acts of mercy and returns to her post, ready to assist in any way. To have such a little group of friends transform themselves into willing slaves for the moment makes the art of entertaining no trouble or fatigue at all.

Think of the utter loneliness to the stranger of entering the drawing-room to be greeted by the hostess and handed down a long line of the receiving party and then left to "that bath of loneliness amidst the multitude," which has its terrors for us all. It is over such strays as this that the receiving party is supposed to have most careful oversight, since to the hostess comes small leisure for this duty.

Entertainment.

Before supper, cards, conversation, music are made use of to entertain the guests. When dancing is a feature, it does not begin until after supper, and while this amusement is in progress opportunity for conversation, games, etc., should be provided in other rooms for those who do not dance. Rules for going out to supper at a large party are the same as those at a ball.

Duties of the Guests.

If music is one of the features, try and suit its character to the company. Do not play classical music where it cannot possibly be appreciated, and, above all, attempt nothing that cannot be executed perfectly. In singing, let gentlemen remember that if it is an amusing song they are to render, it must be perfectly unexceptional in character. Ladies should bear in mind in singing that it is much better taste in large assemblies to avoid the purely sentimental order of songs, which, with the large number of beautiful compositions at our disposal, is easily done.



Observe scrupulous silence while others are playing and singing. If you possess any musical accomplishments, and are asked to contribute your share toward the entertainment of others, do so without waiting to be urged; or, if you decline, decline absolutely. Urging should not be resorted to by the hostess, which custom would soon cure a certain class of performers from the disagreeable habit of holding back for repeated solicitations. If you consent to play or sing, do not weary your audience. Two or three stanzas of a song, or four or five pages from a long instrumental piece are sufficient. If more is greatly desired it will always be called for.

Remember, it is only the lady of the house who has the right to ask you to play or sing, and to all other requests give a smiling refusal.

Beware of too Much Reserve.

Remember also, that, for the time being, owing to your mutual acquaintance with the host and hostess, you stand on a perfect equality with all the guests present and should, therefore, without further preliminaries, converse freely with any.

Never commit the blunder of stealing away to a side table, and there affecting to be absorbed in some volume of engravings, or finding some unlucky acquaintance in the room, fasten upon him or her for the entire evening. These are social crimes that no shyness can or should excuse.

Where the party is a small social gathering and various parlor games are resorted to for amusement, one should always join in when asked, even while not caring so to do. Exercise skill, appear pleased, and while, perhaps, not enjoying the evening greatly one's self, there will be at least the consciousness of having contributed to the happiness of others. In reality, there is no better field for employing the Golden Rule than in the whirl of social life—no wider field for unselfishness.

A superficial knowledge of the etiquette and rules that govern the various social games of cards will be found a great advantage in society, since, if one does not dance or play cards, he will be forced to content himself with other wall-flowers like himself. A gentleman should never let even urgent solicitation induce him to play for stakes at a party. There is a code of right and wrong beside which the code of society has no weight.

Hours of Arrival and Departure.

An evening party usually begins about nine P.M. It is supposed to end about midnight unless the devotees prefer to remain later. Some, who do not care for this amusement retire immediately after supper.

When to leave at a ball is a very elastic rule which varies to suit the circumstances of the case. To leave as soon after supper as may be or to stay until the ball is actually over, are equally correct courses to follow. Half past one is a very good time to depart. Here in this busy country where the gallants of the evening will be the business men of the morrow, earlier hours are usual than among the leisure classes of the Old World.

In retiring from a large party it is sufficient to bow politely when expressing the pleasure you have received. And if the hostess or host offer the hand, shake it cordially, but not too roughly.

An after call is required the same as after a ball or dinner party.

RECEPTIONS.

For informal receptions, invitations are most frequently written on the left hand corner of the hostess's visiting card: MRS. CHARLES GREY, Thursday, from five to eight o'clock.

At an evening reception, the lady should be dressed in handsome home toilet, and receive standing. If several ladies receive together, their cards should be enclosed with the invitation. The simplicity of the occasion leaves the hostess the more time to devote to the enjoyment of her guests. Music, both vocal and instrumental, is a great addition to an evening reception.

Refreshments are generally served informally. The table should be set tastily in the dining-room, and supplied with coffee or chocolate at one end and a tea service at the other. Besides these, daintily prepared sandwiches, buns, cakes, ices and fruits are served. If the reception is very select, and the number of guests small, a servant presents a tray with tea, sugar and cream, while another follows with the simple refreshments that should accompany it.

A wedding reception, or a very elaborate evening reception, of course admits of much more ceremony, as well as more substantial refreshments, than small entertainments.

Ladies attend evening receptions in demi-toilette, with or without bonnets, and gentlemen in full morning dress.



Invitations to evening receptions, lawn or musical parties are informal, but require an answer, as it is agreeable to every hostess to know the number of her expected guests.



If the reception is given in honor of some individual or celebrity the name of the honored guest should appear at the top of the invitation, as above fac-simile of cards issued by the Spanish Consul in honor of the Infanta of Spain during the Columbian Exposition.

Evening Receptions.

Evening receptions being simpler in detail and less expensive than parties, are becoming more fashionable every year, especially among people of literary and artistic tastes.

Guests calling, meet a select circle, among whom are usually poets, artists, and persons of elegant leisure, formality is readily broken, and the occasion is always one of pleasure.

The hour for leaving a reception is varied (anywhere from eleven P.M. to one A.M. being usual). Early hours are usual among those who have other engagements and who go on to other parties, remaining about half an hour at each one: thus, at crowded receptions the departures commence before the arrivals have ceased to be announced.

Morning Receptions or Matinees.

Of all the entertainments given during the daytime, luncheons, breakfasts, afternoon teas, kettledrums, etc., the morning reception, so-called, although it is given in the afternoon, is perhaps the most formal. Some hostesses adopt the French fashion of calling it a matinee, meaning any social gathering that is held before dinner, as any party is called in France a soiree.

There are many advantages in a morning party. It affords ladies who do not attend evening receptions the pleasure of meeting on a semi-formal occasion, and is also a well chosen occasion for introducing a new pianist or singer. For a busy woman of fashion a matinee, beginning at two and ending at four or half-past, which are the usual hours for these entertainments, is a most convenient time. It does not interfere with a five o'clock tea, or a drive, nor unfit her for a dinner party or evening entertainment. Convenient, however, as this hour is for ladies, it is quite the reverse for gentlemen, since the majority of them in America do not belong to the leisure class. Hence to avoid this inequality of the sexes, ladies often give these matinees on some of our national holidays.

When, as often happens, some great celebrity is to be presented to a large circle of friends, there is no more satisfactory form of entertainment to be afforded him than a morning reception. To this we may draw to meet him many men who could not be brought together at a late-hour, full-dress, evening entertainment. Authors, artists, clergymen, lawyers, statesmen, editors, doctors and capitalists, as well as cultivated society women, financiers and philosophers, can all be brought together in easy and friendly social intercourse.

But, if we hope to gather about us men of mind and distinction, we must not expect to be amused only, we must be amusing, we must offer some tempting equivalent; something that has the ring of pure gold, rather than the glamour of fashionable dress, dancing or music. So, with an Archbishop to entertain, we may hope to attract the distinguished clergy of the city; with a great author, other celebrities of the pen and pencil who will gladly come to greet him; and once drawn to a successful and brilliant assembly, they will be easily induced to return. Therefore, any lady who would make her home attractive to the best society must offer some higher stimulant than the glitter of fashion. For good society we need men and women who can talk. We need relaxation, and it is best sought in intercourse of abiding value with those whose lives differ from those of our own.

Correct Dress.

The invitations are written in the same form as those given for an evening entertainment, and although given by daylight, the rooms are frequently darkened and artificial illumination gives to the whole a festive air. The hostess may be dressed in demi-toilet, somewhat low at the throat if wished, and of the richest materials, but not in full evening dress, laces or conspicuous jewels. She may have friends to receive with her who will dress in the same demi-toilets. The guests wear reception dresses or handsome street dresses. Wraps are laid aside, but hats and gloves are kept on. Gentlemen wear full morning dress on all these occasions. Overcoats and umbrellas are left in the hall or dressing-room, but hats, if the stay is to be short, may be carried into the drawing-room.

Visitors do not usually remain more than half an hour, though, if the occasion is especially interesting, an hour or more is often spent. Conversation is indulged in, and guests listen to music, or whatever is provided for their entertainment. At an ordinary morning reception the refreshments are light, and served the same as at an evening reception. If, however, the occasion is unusually important, the collation is more abundant, and the service more formal.

Visitors leave cards to serve instead of the after call. Those who were invited but unable to attend, call within a few days. (For general forms of invitations see Department of "Invitations.")

Introductions are not expected to be general, except where the reception is given in honor of some one person, when, of course, all comers are presented to this guest. Morning parties given in small country towns are attended with less formality than in large cities, and introductions are general.

SUPPER PARTIES.

Some lover of this social repast says, "Suppers have always been invested with a peculiar charm. They are the most conversational, the most intimate and the most poetical of all entertainments. They are the favorite repast of men of letters, the inspiration of poets, and a form of hospitability eminent in history. Who has not heard of the petite soupers of the Regency and the brilliant minds there assembled?"

Suppers are the popular entertainment of gentlemen, and usually take some distinctive name, such as fish suppers, game suppers, wine suppers, and each has suitable supplies for the table.

Invitations to suppers may be given in person, by a friendly note, or writing on the card of the host or hostess: "Supper at 10 o'clock, Thursday, December 18th."

The very late city dinners have prevented supper parties from keeping their popularity, but there is no reason why in towns these should not be favorite entertainments.

The same service is proper at a supper as at a dinner, with the exception of soup plates. Oysters on the half-shell and bouillon served in cups are the first two courses. Then follows the usual order of dishes, such as sweetbreads and green peas, whatever game may be in season, salads of all kinds, then ices, fruits and coffee. It is not quite so heavy a repast as the elaborate dinner party. Games and salads are served together. If wine is used it is found on the table in handsome decanters. Three sorts may be served, such as Sherry or Madeira and Burgundy. Bread and napkin are beside each plate, or else the bread is passed after the guests are seated. Next, plain plates and cups of bouillon are served, with gold teaspoons. Then follow the other courses. The dishes are removed after each course as at a formal dinner. At the close of the supper a tiny glass of cordial is served to the gentlemen. Wines may be entirely omitted if against the principles, and mineral waters may be substituted. The table may be decorated as for a dinner party.

There is perhaps no entertainment where so much brilliant conversation and repartee is indulged in as at the "sit-down" supper.

Residents of large cities, possessing abundant means, can avoid trouble by ordering supplies from the professional caterer, but in the country home, where economy is an object, it devolves on the housekeeper to prepare the appetizing dainties for her entertainments. For the benefit of such, we give a few items that may be useful in arranging the menu. Any reliable work on cookery will give the directions for their preparation: Boned turkey, boned ham, deviled ham sandwiches, salmon salad, chicken salad, potted fish, fish salad, etc., etc.

A Simple Supper.

There is a much simpler supper possible to be offered by a hostess after the opera or theatre which may be made very charming and inexpensive. This is a desirable little "spread," since there are few people who can undergo the excitement of an evening at the opera, play, concert, or card party, without a feeling of hunger; and with many, unless this hunger is appeased a sleepless night will be the result; and as the excitement is usually so good an aid to digestion, no evil consequences may be feared.

This little supper is well set out with a few oysters, a pair of cold roast chickens, a boned turkey, or boned ham, and a dish of some kind of salad, and perhaps one sort of ice cream or ice and coffee. Oysters are invaluable for a supper. Scalloped or broiled, they can be used in place of chicken or turkey.

A Game Supper.

A game supper consists of wild fowls and fish, with jellies, ices and bon-bons, while a wine supper admits of almost every variety of luscious dishes, differing very little from dinner, except that the delicacies are all cold, and of course no vegetables are served. Fillets of game, boned turkey, cold ham, fish, salads, ices, jellies and creams, are suitable to this style of entertainment.

A Fish Supper.

When a fish supper is given, dishes are generally composed of the products of the sea or river. This is a fashionable mode of entertainment for the season of Lent. Salads, olives, pickles and sauces are served as relishes. Sweet desserts never accompany a fish supper, but fruits are an appropriate addition. Coffee must be given with all suppers.



BALLS, DANCING AND MASQUERADES



Balls, to distinguish them from other evening gatherings where dancing is one of the features of the evening, may be designated as parties given for the express purpose of dancing.

Balls should begin at about nine o'clock in the evening, and terminate at two or three in the morning. A private ball may be a very elaborate affair, from fifty to seventy-five guests being necessary to make the occasion enjoyable. Where the size of the ball-room will permit, many more are frequently bidden. Over-crowding should be guarded against, as ruinous to the toilets of the ladies, and the pleasure of all concerned. The invitations to very elaborate affairs are sometimes sent out from three weeks to one month in advance.

It is always proper for an invited guest to solicit an invitation for a young lady visitor, or some stranger of distinction, or for a young gentleman known to be a dancing man, and it is always permissible for the hostess, if she wish, to refuse such solicitations on the ground that her list is full, and no one should feel offended at such refusal. Should the request, however, be for the admission of an eligible, dancing man, it is rarely refused.

Never more than three from one family (the mother or chaperon excepted) should accept an invitation to a ball, or party, unless in the case of a ball, where two brothers, if they dance, may be accompanied by two sisters from the same family. Those who do not dance should refuse invitations to balls (chaperons excepted). The most brilliant man who does not dance is usually out of place in an entertainment given for that sole purpose.

The ball-room should be large; the floor well waxed, or covered with drugget, and an abundance of palms and potted plants set about to make cosy nooks just lighted by a shaded lamp. Cut flowers may be massed upon the mantels with gorgeous effect. If the stairway be of sufficient breadth, it should be bravely furnished forth with plants in bloom. If it should be a first-floor room and open into the cool dusk of a faintly lighted conservatory, then it is everything to be desired for the occasion. Good ventilation is an absolute necessity.

Invite at least one quarter more guests than can be comfortably accommodated, since about that number will fail, from different causes, to accept. If it is impossible to entertain with comfort all those to whom one is socially indebted, then it is better to divide the entertainment into two or three smaller gatherings, always leaving space for as many mothers of daughters, or other appointed chaperons, as may choose to attend and who should always be included in the invitations.

Sitting accommodations should be furnished for them, as well as for those who may not be dancing. All other furniture should be removed from the rooms.

Full-dress toilets are demanded for the occasion; flowers, jewels,

"The gloss of satin and the glimmer of pearls,"

should mingle in this festivity, the gayest of our social gatherings.

The ball-room should be brilliantly, and at the same time, softly illuminated, the lights coming chiefly from the sides.

General Arrangements.

In a large city it is necessary to provide an awning to extend from the carriage to the front entrance, thus screening guests from the crowd that usually gathers on such an occasion. A carpet should also cover the steps and walk to protect the ladies' gowns. A manservant in evening dress and white lisle gloves should be at the curbstone to assist ladies, who may have come unattended, in alighting, (providing they have no footman). He also provides each party with the number of their carriage, giving the same to the driver, in order that he may be ready when called. This same attendant also calls for the carriages upon the departure of the guests.

Another manservant, or a white-capped maid, waits at the door, which is opened without the bell being touched. This functionary receives the cards of the guests, and directs them to their respective dressing-rooms. These should be large and convenient as possible. Assistants should be provided with thread, needles and pins to rectify any accidents that may occur to the ladies' toilets, and to render every possible aid to them in making ready for the drawing-rooms. Duplicate tickets should also be in readiness; one to attach to each wrap and one to hand its owner. These precautions lessen the confusion and add to the comfort of all concerned.

Combs, brushes, and hairpins should be in abundance, while a powder-box and puff is not amiss. Cologne, camphor and ammonia should also be in the rooms for use in cases of sudden faintness. A couch in the room is also useful, and low chairs or ottomans, in case any of the ladies should wish to change their shoes.

The gentlemens' dressing-room should also be presided over by an attendant supplied with the same duplicate system of tickets and ready to render any called-for assistance.

Programs with the order of the dances and blanks for recording engagements for each, should be distributed to the guests as they enter the ball-room. To each card should be attached a small pencil.

Concerning the Music.

Good music is a prime necessity. An orchestra, even if it must be a small one, is needful for a ball. Four pieces are enough: violin, piano, violincello, or harp, and cornet. If more are desired, leave the choice to the leader, with whom the selections will have been carefully talked over beforehand, and who must be furnished with a copy of the dancing program.

The musicians should be concealed back of a group of flowering shrubs at the end of the hallway, or some other convenient nook or corner. If there should be a balcony, a shady bower can be constructed for them there, and by taking out the window frame they will be heard to perfection.

Never, even at a "small and early," depend, for the pianist, upon volunteer service from among the guests. In the first place, it is a tiresome and unwillingly performed service, and in the second, there are few amateurs who play dance-music with sufficient correctness to render dancing after their music a pleasure.

Refreshments.

At a ball elaborate refreshments are to be expected, and are usually served all the evening from a long table loaded with silver and glass and softly but brilliantly illuminated. No one is expected to sit down at such a supper, but the guests as they come in, a few at a time, are served by waiters in attendance.

Both hot and cold dishes are to be had; and substantial food, as well as all manner of sweets, should be furnished for an amusement that begets a most unromantic hunger. Small game birds may be served cold; the larger fowl hot. Boned turkey (cold) is especially liked. Game pates, oysters, cooked or raw, all manner of truffled dishes, and a variety of salads are served, while fruits, ices, confections, cakes, and so on, ad infinitum, do fitly furnish forth the feast.

If the German is to finish the evening, a separate, hot supper should be served at its close, and the all-night supper confined more exclusively to cold dishes, with the exception of hot drinks.

In case of a very spacious mansion, the hostess may, if she prefer, keep the supper-room closed until half-past twelve, or one, when she will give the word. Her husband should lead the way to supper with some lady to be especially honored. The hostess should not go out herself until she sees that every lady has been properly escorted, save in cases where she is to accompany some very distinguished gentleman who is present. In this case she delegates her authority either to a grown son, some other relative, or to some gentleman especially appointed, who takes her place in seeing that there are no forgotten wall-flowers left to blush unseen.

No gentleman should presume to offer the hostess his escort to the supper-room, this being an honor she confers at pleasure.



A small tea-room on an upper floor is very desirable at a large gathering. Here guests, ladies especially, can, unattended, seek the refreshment of a cup of tea, coffee, cocoa, or bouillon before descending to the drawing-rooms. Gentlemen, too, may escort their wearied partners to this haven for a moment's light refection and rest after dancing. Iced lemonade should also be served here, and the room never left without an attendant.

Many who do not care for a heavy supper, are wont to resort to this room, where tiny sandwiches, maccaroons, etc., should also be in readiness.

A smoking-room is frequently provided at large entertainments where the gentlemen may retire. Cigars, effervescent waters, and lemonade are furnished here, and sometimes stronger drinks. This last, however, is a question which every hostess must settle according to her own convictions. If wines are furnished, champagne and claret punch are the usual choice, and a trusted attendant should be at hand to serve them. Those who patronize this room will, if they wish to lay any claim to the name of "gentlemen," carefully refrain from the slightest over-indulgence in these cooling, but deceptive drinks.

If there should be no smoking-room set aside, gentlemen must never smoke in their dressing-room. To do so is especially thoughtless and impolite.

Host and Hostess.

In giving a ball the hostess, upon whom the greatest strain will fall, must be sure of her own physical and mental strength. To stand for two consecutive hours in one spot and receive each comer with the same sweet courtesy is a severe strain upon both.

Daughters, young lady relatives or ladies invited to receive, are usually at hand to support her. The host, if there be one, does not stand beside his wife to receive, but is usually not far away and should assist in making the occasion an agreeable one.

Sons of the house do not seek their own pleasure at such a time, but quietly endeavor, aided by the daughters or receiving ladies, to provide dancing and supper partners for all present. Sometimes two or three young men are appointed beforehand to attend to this duty.

The hostess, while richly dressed, should never show any desire by the elaborateness of her costume to outshine her guests.

Should an obtuse cabman, misled by some similarity of name or error in number (as may occur in large cities), permit a perplexed guest, perhaps a stranger, to drift across the wrong threshold, let it be a hospitable one. The hostess, though she may not be able to unravel the mystery, should be gracious and attentive.

Arrival and Departure.

The first move after leaving the dressing-rooms is for ladies to join their escorts and proceed to the drawing-rooms.

In going up or down stairs the gentleman always precedes the lady by several steps, unless they walk side by side. This rule holds good on every occasion. A lady, if she wishes the gentleman's assistance should take his right arm, thus leaving her right hand free to carry her train. Her bouquet or fan may be carried in the hand upon his arm.

Gentlemen and ladies never enter the room arm in arm, no matter what their relationship may be. A lady enters somewhat in advance of a gentleman accompanying her, but at the side of a maiden whom she chaperons. A mother precedes her daughter.

Do not offer to shake hands with the hostess as you bow, unless she makes the initiatory move, since where the number invited is large the process becomes somewhat wearisome. Many hostesses prefer to sweep a graceful courtesy as they receive their guests.

Do not remain chatting with the receiving party. A bow, and a simple exchange of kindly inquiries, is sufficient, when you should pass on immediately to leave room for others. A gentleman's next duty is to search out his host and exchange the courtesies of the evening with him. Any who may arrive late should at once search out both host and hostess to offer a belated greeting.

A stranger who has received an invitation through friends, should be introduced to both host and hostess and to any daughters of the house. If a gentleman, he should be sure to invite the ladies to dance.

At a large ball any formal leave-taking is unnecessary. To

"Fold your tents like the Arabs, And as silently steal away,"

is quite the thing. Do not make such a stir by your going as to call attention to your departure, apparently wishing others to take notice of it.

The Escort.

The escort of a young lady owes her attention beyond all others he may meet in the ball-room. He should assist her from the carriage, accompany her to the dressing-room door, and after due time return to escort her to the reception-room. He must be her partner in the opening dance and should also put his name down for the one immediately preceding supper, since it is expected that the gentleman dancing with a lady then will take her out to supper, and there see that all her wants are anticipated. If, for any reason, he cannot do this, he must see that she is suitably attended; a gentleman taking a lady into the supper-room must also escort her back to the ball-room and leave her wherever she may desire.

If there should be any seeming neglect he must see that she is provided with partners for as many dances as she may desire; never dancing himself unless she, too, is on the floor, or, if she prefer, sitting out the dance with some pleasant companion. He may introduce other gentlemen to her, after asking her permission.

It is his privilege to send her a bouquet for the occasion, and he first asks what the lady's costume is to be, in order to harmonize the color of the flowers with the shade of the dress, since it would be most annoying to send blue violets to be worn with a sea-green gown.

It is the lady's privilege to suggest the hour of departure. After seeing her safely within her own door he should leave; even if she asks him to enter he should politely refuse, remembering, however, to call upon her within two days.



Receiving Ladies.

Ladies called upon to assist in receiving are not to consider their duties ended when they have supported the hostess through the trying hours of standing to greet her guests, but are supposed (though they too often fail in this) to mingle with the company, seeing that strangers and timid or non-attractive girls are not allowed to remain wall-flowers for any length of time. Bashful men, too, must not be left without partners, and all should be provided with escorts to supper.

These things are a part of the hostess' duty, but in a large entertainment it is quite beyond her power to attend to all the claims upon her time.

The sons of the house, and sometimes a few other especially deputized young men, must sacrifice their own preferences in order to give pleasure to others. If the number of ladies exceed that of gentlemen, these aids frequently take two out to supper.

Daughters of the house, together with receiving ladies and the hostess, do not go out to supper until the last guests are supplied with partners. However, should the hostess be expected to accompany some distinguished gentleman to the table, she will delegate her duties to another.

General Rules for Observance.

Gentlemen may introduce other men to ladies of their own family or to friends, first asking their permission or the permission of their chaperons. In case of a chaperon, the introduction is made first to her and then to the young lady, and the gentleman at close of the dance returns his partner to her chaperon.

Where the gentleman is well acquainted with the lady, a short promenade is often indulged in; but if the gentleman be a stranger to her, she should not expect this, for he may have another engagement, and will return her immediately to the side of her chaperon or some lady friend she may designate. In Europe this promenading is not allowed, the young lady being at once escorted back to her chaperon after dancing.

Supper being announced, a gentleman, having no other engagement, offers his arm to the lady with whom he may be talking or dancing and escorts her out, unless some previous partner arrives to claim her before his invitation is given. Once given, a lady is not free (unusual circumstances excepted) to decline it, even though she may have expected another to offer her the same attention. If she be accompanied by a chaperon, the elder lady is invited at the same time, and it is to her that his arm is offered, the younger lady walking by her side. For two ladies to each take an arm is not good form.

A gentleman requesting a lady for a certain dance, should never ask if she is engaged for it. He may request the pleasure or honor of her company for the next dance, and he will learn from her answer whether she be free, without compelling her to acknowledge at the last moment that she has been hitherto unsought.

Formality of Introductions.

The request for a dance should be accompanied by a bow on the part of the gentlemen. At its close he should thank her for the pleasure, and she should return this courtesy with a smile and bow, and a murmured "Thank you."

An introduction to a lady in the ball-room presupposes that the gentleman will dance with her or walk with her through one dance.

In England, where introductions are rarely given to those invited to an entertainment, a gentleman may ask any lady for a dance. She will probably accept, but he must not take this as the prelude to an after acquaintance. In America, however, it is necessary to ask some mutual friend to first request the favor of the lady, and then, if granted, give the introduction.

However, in case of any little accident, or sudden faintness, gentlemen should be quick to assist, bringing an iced drink, aiding to the dressing-room, or calling a carriage, as the case may be, without the formality of an introduction. A gentleman may also ask an older lady who seems left unattended at supper-time, if he may bring her some refreshments, and this without an introduction.

It is very bad form for gentlemen to stand about the ball-room, especially if there be a scarcity of dancing men present. Even if there is no one in the room for whom they particularly care, they should be unselfish enough to remember that dancing is almost the only active form of amusement in which the majority of ladies may participate.

A young man should ask the young ladies, daughters or relatives of the hostess, for their company in the dance early in the evening. A married gentleman should be general in his attentions in the ball-room. He should not dance more than once or twice with his wife, nor should he take her out to supper; but he must keep a quiet outlook over her comfort, and see that she is no wise lonely or neglected.

Attentions Paid to Ladies.

Neither should he confine his attentions in a marked manner to any one lady. It is ill-breeding to excite the comment sure to follow such a course. It is also bad form for any gentleman to confine his attentions to any one lady, or, as a rule, to ask her for more than two dances. Even engaged couples are not exempt from this law.

Gentlemen may put down their name on a lady's program for certain dances, and the engagement should never be forgotten. If, however, this lapse should occur, the humblest apology should follow, which the young lady, no matter how annoyed, should gracefully accept. Ill-humor is out of place in the ball-room.

If a lady from weariness, or any other cause, should wish to stop at any time in the dance, the gentleman must, without any comment, at once lead her to a seat, and remain with her until the set is finished, notwithstanding that she may, from a spirit of kindness, request him to seek another partner. Should she show symptoms of weariness, and be either too timid or too thoughtful for his enjoyment to ask him to take her from the floor, he should be quick to see, and to suggest that she rest for a moment.

Gloves form an important adjunct to a gentleman's toilet for a dancing party. Light colored gloves are always good form. Gentlemen are expected to wear gloves while dancing, since their ungloved hands would not only soil the delicate tints of the lady's gloves, but the slightest pressure of a warm, uncovered hand is liable to discolor the frail gauzes, or pale silks of their ball-room toilet.

It is not amiss to be provided with an extra pair of gloves which will be very useful should the first pair come to grief. Upon the same principle, two fresh handkerchiefs should be carried.

If dancing is not formally announced in the invitation, gentlemen will do well to provide themselves with gloves to be donned if that amusement is introduced in the course of the evening. Notwithstanding the royal indolence or whim of the Prince of Wales led him some time back to discard the use of gloves at evening parties, an example which many ultra-fashionables have followed, it still remains that gloves are both proper and necessary. If a gentleman attempts to dance without them he must hold his handkerchief in his hand in such a manner as to prevent its contact with the bodice of the lady's gown.

Loud talking and boisterous laughter are not to be tolerated. Scrupulously avoid stepping upon the train of a lady's gown. Apologize if it accidentally occurs, and if serious damage ensue from the awkwardness, beg the privilege of taking her to the dressing-room to have the damage repaired.

For Ladies.

Young ladies must never refuse to dance with one gentleman, and afterward give the same dance to a more favored suitor. Nothing so quickly speaks of ill-breeding as this course. Ball-room engagements should not be forgotten. Young ladies should never be so unwise as to appear on the floor at every dance.

Daughters of the hostess should not repeatedly appear upon the floor while other lady guests are neglected. Not their own pleasure, but the pleasure of the company should be their first care.

Ladies should not cross the ball-room alone. It invites attention. Ladies must not burden gentlemen (unless husband or near relative) with bouquet or fan to hold while they dance. Young ladies should not refuse a ball-room introduction to a gentleman without a sufficient reason, since to do so is always an embarrassment to the one asking it. Still a lady has the privilege of refusal and may not be pressed for a reason. Young chaperons should never dance while their proteges are unprovided with partners.



A lady removes at least one glove while partaking of supper. But when a cup of tea, or an ice, only is taken this is not necessary.

DANCING.

Pope says: "They move easiest who have learned to dance," and while the opinions of society are greatly divided on the subject of this amusement, it cannot be denied that there is much truth in the assurance that Locke gives us in his treatise on "Education:"

"Since nothing appears to me to give children so much becoming confidence and behavior as dancing, I think they should be taught to dance as soon as they are capable of learning it. For though this consists only in outward gracefulness of motion, ... yet it gives children manly thoughts and courage more than anything."

For the many, however, to whom these early advantages have not been given, while the dowry of a quick ear and natural grace has enabled them to "pick up" this social accomplishment, a few hints may be of use.

Dancing is really an art, and one that the gentleman especially should understand (since he takes the lead) before he ventures to ask a lady out upon the floor.

The gentleman should be very careful in the manner of holding his partner. He should give her proper support by putting his arm firmly around her, but not drawing her too close. Her right hand should be held in his left, the lady turning the right palm downward and almost straightening her right arm. The gentleman should bend his left arm slightly backward. The joined hands should be held steadily but kept away from the gentleman's body. To rest them upon his hip, is actual vulgarity. The gentleman's right shoulder and the lady's left, should be kept as far apart as the other shoulders, hence his right elbow must not be too much bent. The upper part of the body should be kept quiet, and the head held naturally, not turned one side, while the eyes are neither thrown up nor cast down in an affected style. Their steps should be in harmony and the gentleman must be very careful not to permit a collision with other couples.

At every slightest pause in the dance the gentleman should instantly drop his arm from the lady's waist. In these intervals it is proper to fan her if she desire it, and to enter into chatty conversation.

Gentlemen avoid all boisterous conduct in the dance, such as swinging a partner too rapidly, or lifting her too much from the floor. She, on her part, should dance lightly, never permitting her partner to carry her around, but performing her share well, or not dance at all.

The Most Desirable Dances.

In making up a dancing program, quadrilles should always find a place, since many can walk through its measures that will not undertake the more active dances. It also gives opportunity for the graceful curtsy which no lady should fail to learn, and can be enlivened with conversation.

To the alluring round dances, polka, schottische, waltz, etc., there are many who strongly object, but, danced in private homes and in most cases under the eye of the young girl's mother, there can be found nothing dangerously objectionable in this favorite amusement. The minuet is a stately, beautiful old dance that is sometimes introduced, enabling both old and young to join in its slow and gracious measure.

New steps, new changes and new dances, with the technical features of which it is not the province of this book to deal, are continually coming into vogue with each season. A few words, however, with regard to the general etiquette of that justly popular dance, the German, will be in place here. The German, called the "Cotillion" in France and in Germany, where it originated, is the most fascinating dance in social use. Balls at which it is to appear, signifying that fact in the invitations sent out are more elaborate in their arrangements, and are held to a later hour, since the earlier portion of the night is devoted to waltzing and other dances, and the German is not commenced until after supper.

Many leave before it begins, especially those who expect to make the tour of several balls and receptions during the night. A second and hot supper is usually served at its close, to those who participate in its measures. Be certain when the German is to be introduced that a sufficient number of men are invited to make the affair a success.

The leader of the cotillion is chosen by the hostess, and should be thoroughly familiar with all its figures, new and old; skilled to command, and prompt to bring order out of confusion; at the same time energetic and good tempered. As there will always be some in a German who do not understand it, the leader must be ready to help them out. Such parties should take their places near the end, and, in this way, will become familiar with a figure before it is their turn to dance.

No Favorites to be Allowed.

The leader will also see that gentlemen do not neglect some ladies for the pleasure of dancing frequently with more favored partners. In this he should be assisted by the hostess, and gentlemen should never disregard her quiet suggestion on this score. After all, "the ball-room is a more fitting field for a display of the Christian graces than most Evangelical people are willing to admit."

All those dancing the German must consider themselves as introduced, and each lady or gentleman is free to call "up" any participant for his or her partner. In fact it is desirable that they should do so, since by devoting themselves entirely to their acquaintance there is danger of some being debarred from the amusement. For these reasons the German is unsuited for a public ball, and fitted only for a private house where the invitation is expected to certify the character of the guest.

Varied and beautiful are the figures that may be adopted, but the scope of this book will not permit full instructions for its elaborate changes. One suggestion, however, is in point; do not choose those "romping" figures where the fun is liable to become too fast and furious for ball-room decorum. The figures requiring "properties," such as ribbons, flags, Japanese lanterns, aprons, mirrors, etc., should have all the necessary articles carefully provided beforehand.

During most of the figures, "favors" are distributed; flowers, amusing trinkets, or sometimes pretty little souvenirs are given. Rosettes, scarf pins, bangles, tiny flags, artificial butterflies, bon-bons in embroidered satin bags, badges, painted silk sachets, etc., are all appropriate. Tiny lanterns filled with perfume, and sometimes amusing toys will add to the fun of the occasion. It is better taste to give simple articles than to resort to the gifts of great value that some hostesses have bestowed, since such giving always suggests ostentation. Flowers alone are sometimes used and it is not necessary to make the favors a source of undue expense.

Regrets must be sent one's hostess if unable to attend a German, that the place may be filled. If a gentleman invites a lady especially as his partner for a German, he should send her a bouquet and if some unforeseen occurrence should prevent his attendance, he must at once send her an explanatory regret to that effect.

Private Balls Given in Public.

Many hostesses, feeling the inadequacy of their parlors to accommodate all the guests that they wish to invite at one time, without disagreeable overcrowding, have adopted the custom of giving their large entertainments at public assembly rooms. This custom, while it frees the hostess from much care, must also be deplored as depriving the gathering of that home atmosphere which is ever a safeguard.

The etiquette is the same as that of a private ball, and after calls are demanded within the same length of time. The decorations and arrangements resemble closely as possible those of a private house.

Public Balls.

Much of the etiquette given for Private Balls governs the conduct of those attending public entertainments of the same nature. Introductions, however, must be sought before any attentions are offered a lady, and there is much more care exercised in granting them than under a private roof. Gentlemen, too, use their own pleasure in the choice of partners, not having the courtesy of their hostess to regard in this respect.

Of course, Military, Charity and Civic Balls are under the charge of trustees and committees, who not only take charge of the convenience of the guests, but endeavor by all means within their power to regulate the social standing of those obtaining entree to the assembly. In many of the large cities a board of lady patronesses add prestige and a certain home protection to the successful carrying out of a public ball of the highest order. It seems to supply the protection of a hostess to the fete.

A young girl, even if the omission be excused at a private ball, does not attend a public affair of this nature without a chaperon. Late hours are more especially objectionable at public balls than at a private house. One, or half-past, should find the adieux made.

A young lady, in refusing to dance with a gentleman, is not obliged to sit the dance out as she would be at the house of a mutual friend. She may, however, if she wish, do it in deference to his feelings.



MASQUERADES.

A few words with regard to masquerades will not be out of place here, with the one proviso added that they refer exclusively to private entertainments. Public gatherings of this nature should be shunned as questionable amusements, excepting, of course, any case where, from want of room, a lady may choose to give the entertainment in some public assembly-room instead of her own parlors. This course lends the protection of home to the charm of its veiled mysteries.

A masquerade is an entertainment giving much trouble to both hostess and guests. Elaborate decorations are necessary in the ball-room. Invitations for it should be issued from three weeks to a month in advance, in order to give the guest time to choose and prepare the costume to be worn.

Some hostesses give their invitations for a fancy dress party only, omitting the feature of masks. In this they may act their own pleasure. In event of permitting masks they must be laid aside at supper hour.



Occasionally the hostess arranges a costume scheme for the entire fete beforehand, signifying to each guest the character, historical or imaginary, that it is her pleasure he shall, for the time being, personify. In this way the perfection and beauty of the ball-room are assured beforehand, and repetitions of time-worn characters prevented from appearing upon the floor.

Choice of Costumes.

Again, the hostess may content herself by selecting the costumes that she wishes a few particular friends to don, sufficient in number to form one or more quadrilles to open the ball. Each set must be carefully arranged as for instance, a court party, costumed after the time of Louis XIV. A group of Watteau Shepherds and shepherdesses, or a hunting party garbed after any chosen period, etc.

The remainder of the guests may be permitted to use their own taste in the selection of costumes. A full dress rehearsal of these especially arranged quadrilles should be held beforehand to ascertain the most satisfactory method of grouping the characters in each set.

Invitations to an entertainment of this nature are issued like those for ordinary balls, adding "Bal-masque" or "Fancy Dress Ball," down in the left hand corner. When the entertainment is to be very elaborate these words are given an entire line, extending through the center of the invitation. Occasionally the words, "Ordinary ball dress permitted," find a place upon the card, to the relief of those who prefer to appear in their own proper character.

The host and hostess in fancy dress, assisted by daughters or friends, all costumed, receive as in other balls, and the etiquette is in all ways similar. Some ladies, and gentlemen also, wear mask and domino over the regulation party dress, removing this when the others unmask.

Guests, as far as in them lies, should seek for originality in their costumes. Historical and mythological characters, personification of the powers and attributes of nature—as ice, snow, stars, planets, etc.—are always suitable. Standard works of fiction whose characters are familiar to all, as well as Mother Goose and Kate Greenaway, are always fruitful sources for characters. Accurateness should be sought after in carrying the costumes out.

[Etiquette of Ball Dress, Invitations, etc., may be found in their appropriate departments.]



SOIREES, MUSICALES AND LAWN PARTIES.



In France almost any social gathering that occurs in the evening is called a soiree. Here in this country the term soiree is applied to an evening entertainment that partakes of the nature of an evening party, but is not quite so elaborate and means earlier hours both of arrival and departure.

Soirees, as a rule, offer some particular form of amusement, such as music, dancing, a reading; an interchange of bright ideas, such as a conversazione. It means also pretty evening dress, not elaborate, ball costume, and a supper. It attracts gentlemen, who appreciate the easy-going, early-houred soiree. That is, gentlemen who do not particularly care for the ball-room, and it is here we are sure to find wits and the aristocracy of intellect. In short, the very best elements of society are found in the elegant unpretentious soiree, where the intelligent woman of fashion has the tact to welcome and make at home the artist, the author, the professional man, and the man of business. The soiree has still another advantage: a lady can give one in a small house and with very little expenditure, and if she has the gift of entertaining, her gathering will always be sought after.

Suitable Dress.

Women, as before mentioned, wear pretty evening dress (not ball costume), and remove their bonnets, and in this way differing from matinees and from morning receptions, at both of which entertainments bonnets are worn. Men wear morning dress. (See Department of Dress.)

Receiving Guests.

For small evening parties, the host and hostess during the early part of the evening remain near the door to receive guests. Later they must mingle with the company to assist in entertaining. A late arrival, however, should be noted, though it is their place to search out their hostess and offer the greetings of the evening.

As guests enter the room the hostess should advance a step to meet them. Her words of greeting should be first addressed to the elder ladies of an incoming group, then the young ladies, lastly the gentlemen. The hostess should be perfectly at her ease, having apparently no thought beyond the reception rooms.

The Entertainment.

Where the entertainment is mixed, a little music is appropriate, a little dancing and a little card-playing. It is well to engage some one to play for the dancing, since guests usually do not care to preside at the instrument. A violin is a great addition.

If, however, the dancing is an afterthought, any gentleman who is a good pianist may offer his services to relieve any lady at the instrument.

The hostess should see that conversation does not lag. She must not interrupt an entertaining tete-a-tete, unless it last too long; but, if conversation languish between a couple thrown together, she should bring in a third person, or draw away one, while substituting another.

Invitations.

If invitations are issued a week or ten days in advance, the hostess has a right to expect that her guests should arrive on time, and carefully attired.

The form of the invitation is similar to an "At Home," as: MRS. EMMONS VAN ZANT, At Home, Thursday, June sixteenth, at eight o'clock. 2040 Westmoreland Street.

Duty of Guests.

The hostess may ask her guests to sing or play; but, if they refuse, it is bad taste to urge them. The hostess, if she plays or sings, may favor the guests with a single selection after others have been heard. It is well for amateurs to master a few pieces that they can render without the notes. This relieves one of that time-worn excuse—"I haven't my notes." This is also the case with those who sing. By ceasing to urge performers, the company will be freed from much of that repeated, coy refusal that only needs sufficient coaxing to comply.

When a lady is asked to play or sing, the gentleman nearest her should at once escort her to the piano, remaining near her while she plays, and turning the music, if he be competent. He will also take charge of her fan, bouquet and gloves, and when the music is finished, he will again offer his arm for her return to her seat. At the same time he will thank her for the pleasure she has given himself and the company. Other guests, together with the hostess, should also express their gratification. Never comment on the quality of the instrument. Never offer to turn the sheets of instrumental music unless familiar with the notes.

When any one is playing or singing, let the company preserve silence, and if they should converse, let it be in the lowest tones. To interrupt a performer is the worst possible taste. Instrumental performers have as much right to expect the courtesy of silence as vocalists. The hostess has the privilege of indicating, to a noisy group, by a gesture, her desire for silence. Those who will talk should at least withdraw from the immediate vicinity of the instrument. If asked to play an accompaniment, do so, not to display your own accomplishments, but so as to afford the best possible support for the singer.

MUSICALES.

A musicale, or a musical reception, is a difficult entertainment. A program must be arranged, and sufficient amateur performers secured to make a success of the affair. Herein comes the difficulty, amateurs, after a very unwilling consent has been wrung from them and their name and selection placed upon the program, are so little to be depended upon. Would that there could be found some way of oiling the machinery at a musical entertainment and of soothing the ruffled feelings of a hostess when those most depended upon to render assistance withdraw at the last moment for some vague reason. When one firmly refuses at the first to appear upon the program, no offence can be taken, but to withdraw for any but the most urgent reason is an actual breach of etiquette.

For this reason, those hostesses whose purses are of sufficient length, are driven to employ professional assistance upon these occasions. Another objection to amateur performers is the semi-professional jealousy existing between them as to precedence on the program.

Performers should arrive punctually, and while the order of the program should be followed as far as possible, no one should be offended at being asked, when it is necessary to play or sing out of the order agreed upon.

Arranging the Program.

If the musicale is to be entirely professional, much trouble will be saved by seeking some prominent musician, and with him arrange the program, and letting him act for the hostess in the matter.

A professional artist should not be kept beyond the time agreed for, neither should he be urged to render selections entirely different, or largely in excess of those arranged for. The hostess should express her pleasure, and may request some little favor. Applause is allowable, but it must be within limits.

A courteous reception must be accorded to all performers by those who desire their talents. The hostess should see that the piano is carefully tuned and not keyed too high.

It is customary to commence with a piece of instrumental music, followed by solos, duets, quartets, etc., with instrumental music between.

A successful musicale can be held with the piano alone for music, an accompanist, and a tenor and soprano of note, but very often a violin is added, and sometimes a mandolin orchestra and four or more singers vary the program. Professional singers and musicians usually leave when their numbers are over, in order to protect their throats from night air and the strain of conversing.

Guests should arrive early so that the confusion of entrance and taking seats will be over before the music begins. If late, they should wait until the number then in progress is finished before taking their places. The singular impression, so common everywhere, that at all society gatherings it is much more genteel to appear late upon the scene than at the time appointed, has less reason to justify it when a musicale is the entertainment than at any other entertainment or society event, except a dinner. Music, interrupted by noise, is a failure. The cards of invitation are after this fashion:



The programs are usually written instead of printed, and are sometimes hand-painted and ribbon-bedecked, and again they are engraved on dainty cards. They are frequently enclosed with the invitations.

If dancing is included, this is the formula:



If the musicale is for afternoon, it partakes of the nature of the matinee. Bonnets are to be worn. Refreshments are not necessarily served. The afternoon is often selected when noted stars are to sing, since their time is taken up in the evening. The evening musicale, however, is a more brilliant affair.

Replies are to be sent to these invitations, since for any entertainment when all are to be seated, it is a convenience to know the number of the guests.

The drawing-room is cleared of the greater part of its furniture, and, if dancing is to follow, the carpet is covered with canvas, or removed, if there is a hard wood floor. Camp chairs are provided for the guests.

Arrangement of Performers and Guests.

The seating arrangements should present a clear space for the performers. Too close proximity is not conducive to tranquility on the part of the singer, and also spoils the tone effect. Professional singers insist upon sufficient space. Remove all ornaments of breakable china and bric-a-brac from the vicinity of the piano, which should be bare of cover, and admit of the lid being easily raised and lowered. A bowl of cracked ice, some tumblers, and a pretty jug of water should be placed upon a table near the piano. Good ventilation should be ensured. A reading or recitation can be introduced into a musical program with good effect, and a long program should be divided by a recess for conversation, and to permit those to retire who do not wish to remain to the end.

If dancing follows, the camp chairs are removed, or placed where they can be used. Supper is also served before the dancing. Cigars, matches and ash trays are usually found in the library by the gentlemen, or the cigars are placed in the cloak room to be smoked on the journey home. Either plan, or their omission altogether, is eminently proper.

A day musicale calls for morning dress for men, and a visiting or walking toilet for women. An evening affair, with dancing, calls for evening dress for both.

LAWN PARTIES.

"A green lawn, a few trees, a fine day, and something to eat are really all the absolute requirements of a garden party." If true, this places the pleasant mode of entertaining our friends in the power of many people of moderate means. In remote country localities these parties are very delightful, particularly if city friends are guests for the Summer.

When properly conducted, a garden party may be given with very little trouble, and made very simple and informal, but if desired may be made elaborate and ceremonious.

When only neighbors are to be entertained, a hasty invitation, so as to be sure of fine weather, may be sent two or three days in advance, but when guests are expected from any distance it is customary to send invitations eight or ten days in advance, as suitable preparations must be made.

These invitations are usually engraved on handsome, plain note paper, and may be in this form:



When guests are to come by rail it is well to send a card stating the hours at which trains arrive and leave the station. Then if carriages are to meet the train, on a card enclosed might be printed: Carriages will meet the 3.30 train from Union Depot.

A lady, also, may invite her friends to a garden party by sending her visiting card with "Tennis" or "Garden Party" written in the lower left hand corner, and day and hour in the lower right hand corner, or under her name. It is well sometimes to specify the time of closing.

At a garden party the hostess receives her guests on the lawn, or in the garden, wearing her hat and gloves. But guests should always be invited to the house to take off their wraps, or arrange their toilet if desired. Of course, a maid servant should be in the dressing-room to attend their wants.



The thoughtful hostess will take care to have everything in readiness for the comfort and entertainment of the company. Rugs should be laid on the grass for the accommodation of those not accustomed to standing on the ground, and easy chairs provided for delicate or aged ladies who may be present, so all may enjoy the party without fear of the consequence.

Amusements to be Provided.

Much tact is required to properly entertain guests at a garden party, and prevent them from wandering aimlessly about the grounds. Ample amusements must, therefore, be provided.

The lawn tennis ground must be in perfect order, croquet sets in readiness, archery tools supplied, as well as arrangements for all kinds of suitable games made. Music is a very delightful addition to the pleasure of such an occasion, and should always be had, when practicable.

Ladies wear hats or bonnets at a garden party, and should dress otherwise appropriately. If a plain, informal affair, the dress should be simple and becoming, and if games like lawn tennis or archery are among the amusements, light flannel dresses are suitable. But if invited to a ceremonious lawn party, where style will prevail, handsome though simple toilets are required. Picturesque costumes may be made very effective on the grass and under the trees, and ladies of taste have a fine field for displaying it upon such occasions.

Many very fashionable people conduct the garden party in the style of an afternoon tea, receiving and entertaining their guests in the open air until ready to serve refreshments, when all are invited to the dining-room to partake of them. This mode is very convenient and quite pleasant, though it divests the occasion of much of the novelty and charm belonging to it.

When the refreshments are to be served in the garden or lawn, of course the dishes must all be cold, and may consist of salads, pates, pressed meats, Charlottes, jellies, ices, cakes, lemonade and iced tea. A cup of hot tea should always be in readiness in the kitchen for those ladies desiring it.



Servants should be well trained when in attendance to prevent confusion. Dishes, knives, forks and spoons should be removed when used, and put in baskets or trays in readiness for them, and a fresh supply brought to replace them.

Tables and Refreshments.

Numbers of small tables, with pretty, fancy covers, and colored napkins, should be set around under trees, near fountains and other suitable places, with camp-stools for the accommodation of guests when partaking of refreshments.

Servants should to be very careful in going from place to place with dishes to be served never to spill or drop the contents on ladies' dresses.

Gentlemen may help the ladies, if they prefer, and wait on themselves, requiring the servants only to remove the dishes and replenish the pitchers with lemonade, milk or water.

Fruits, pineapples, strawberries, raspberries, peaches and grapes are served at garden parties, and should be of the finest quality.

Ices are a very acceptable addition to an outdoor entertainment, being light and refreshing for warm weather; they are served in fancy paper cups, laid on ice plates.

For ladies desiring to give garden parties, the following bill of fare will be found sufficient:

Cold Rolls. Mixed Sandwiches. Brown Bread. Pickled Tongue. Pate de foie gras. Jellied Chicken. Cold Birds. Lobster Salad. Charlotte Russe. Biscuit. Glaces. Fancy Cakes. Fruits. Lemonade. Iced Tea. Strawberry Acid.

In England the refreshments are always served in a marquee (large tent) on the lawn.

For such outdoor entertainments foods that require little use of knife and fork should be chosen; sandwiches should never be made of sliced meats as they are awkward to handle. Crusts should be trimmed off, and the filling shredded or grated to a paste, and highly seasoned. For the same reason hot drinks should be dispensed with as far as possible. Glasses are to be filled but two-thirds full. None of these precautions are necessary when the refreshments are served indoors.

For the out-of-doors feast a number of small tables should be provided; cover with fancy cloths and on them place piles of plates alternating with folded napkins, breadbaskets, or trays heaped with sandwiches and buttered tea biscuit, baskets of fancy cakes, and plenty of reserve napkins. Have some of the assistants pass these, beginning with the plates, and to the maidservants leave the service of tea, coffee, cream and sugar (when these are given) and other drinkables.

By this time the gentlemen who first assisted will have been served and the maids can turn their attention to the ices. Ice cream can be served as above, and ices in glass cups; after this the maids can gather up the dishes in baskets. A caterer may be called upon to furnish the feast, in which event all trouble will be spared the hostess. Do not use the best glass and china at these entertainments; the danger of breakage is too great.

At many gatherings a special table is supplied for the gentlemen, where soda-water, claret cup, and sometimes wines are served. The men help themselves, but a manservant is present to supply fresh glasses, etc. This table depends entirely upon the principles of the hostess. If no hours are mentioned, the guests usually disperse about dusk, unless dancing is provided for those who wish to stay and enjoy it.

Seats.

The business of providing seats is a comparatively trifling affair when there are to be young people present, who prefer clean turf or the piazza steps to any more luxurious lounging place. For the older guests, less unconventional accommodations may be devised. Light rockers, camp chairs, wooden or wicker settees are pretty, and in harmony with the rustic nature of the reception. It is well, also, to have rugs or strips of carpet laid about, for the benefit of those who dread the dampness that some imagine rises from the ground even in the midst of the most obstinate drought. Cushions are invaluable at such times, whether used as footstools for the more delicate guests, to soften porch steps, or to convert stumps and grassy knolls into divans, for those who like low seats, but yet have a due regard for their bones or dresses.

A charming, and thoroughly rustic style of seat, can be formed of dry, sweet hay. Tossed up in generous piles, to make couches, or heaped against the trunks of trees to simulate arm chairs, they provide resting places that are not only luxurious, but uncommon. The costliest upholsterer can furnish no chairs or sofas more softly padded or more deliciously perfumed than these. With rugs or shawls thrown over them, to guard the garments of their occupants from any possible injury from moisture or from crushed insects, they are all that the most fastidious could demand.

Hammocks, also furnished with cushions, are always comfortable and picturesque, while screens are valuable additions to the furniture of this open-air drawing-room. Covered with cretonne, felt or paper of any shape and size, these are almost indispensable for shielding from draughts in breezy weather, or sheltering from obtrusive sunlight on a sultry day.

Lawn Parties for Charity.

In case of a charitable object, the refreshments are disposed of at reasonable prices. In this case the menu should be restricted to a few articles. Berries, ice cream and cake are frequently sufficient; coffee can be added. Dainty buttonhole bouquets should also be provided and sold to the gentlemen for prices in advance of their value. Afterward, with the piazza for a stage, a little program of music, singing and recitations can be carried out.

At any garden party, music and singing are in order, and at very grand affairs, paid musicians of note are engaged. Orchestras also are frequently somewhere on the grounds.



Breakfasts, Luncheons and Teas.



A breakfast or a luncheon is somewhat less formal than a dinner and, hence, so much the more delightful.

The breakfast party includes both gentlemen and ladies while, as a rule, the luncheon is an entertainment given to ladies. The invitations to a breakfast may be written, engraved or verbal. If a large number of guests are invited to meet some distinguished stranger, engraved invitations are issued.

Five days or a week's notice is usually considered sufficient, but if distinguished wits and scholars are to be secured, it is well to give a longer period, since their time, always in demand, should be bespoken well in advance. A reply to the invitation is a necessity, because the hostess wishes time, in case of non-acceptance, to secure another guest.

Where the breakfast is less stately in character, an informal note, written by the hostess, in the first person, is a pleasant method, or simply written on the lady's visiting cards under the name in this form: Breakfast, Tuesday, ten o'clock, February fifteenth.

Artificial light is out of place, and sunshine should flood the apartment, while a certain airiness and daintiness should pervade the table appointments, quite the opposite of the elaborate display that characterizes the dinner party. Flowers should form the decorations of the table. Breakfast parties are a very convenient mode of social entertainment for those whose limited means will not admit of a more extensive display of hospitality.

Ten o'clock is the usual hour, though it may be as late as twelve, thus differing from the luncheon, which is never earlier than one.

Breakfast parties are a favorite reunion with literary people, who generally take the morning hours for leisure, leaving brain work until later in the day. Sidney Smith said he liked breakfasts, "because no man was conceited before one o'clock in the day."

In serving breakfast the bill of fare, unless for special occasions, should never be elaborate, but rather dainty and attractive, as the appetite usually needs tempting at this early hour; fewer courses of a more delicate variety should be served than at other meals. The hostess dispenses the coffee, tea and chocolate from the head of the table; the substantials are set in front of the host, who may help the plates and hand them to the waiter to serve; the vegetables and other dishes may be handed from the side table.

Concerning the Viands.

It is well-bred to serve the breakfast with as little formality as possible, and with as few attendants; one servant, a maid, or man servant is sufficient unless the party is unusually large.

If grape-fruit be used for a first course, or orange skins filled with juice, a wreath of smilax on each plate makes a pretty decoration.

A breakfast should invariably begin with fruit, followed by a course of eggs. This latter is one of the essentials, and offers a greater variety than is perhaps known outside of France. A Spanish omelette, if properly made, is a thing to be treasured among the "pleasures of memory." Stuffed eggs, or hard boiled eggs cut in slices, with a bechamel or white sauce, are appropriate and generally liked. A fish course, an entree, one meat, a salad and a sweet course should follow next in order, concluding with coffee. The entree and the meat may form one course, if a slice of duck with olives, fried chicken or some such dish be selected.

Ices of all kinds are entirely out of place at a breakfast. An omelette soufflee, peaches with cream, or best of all a fruit salad, are within the proprieties. This last never fails to call forth enthusiastic appreciation. It is simply made, and keeps perfectly for two or three days. Half a dozen oranges should be peeled, leaving no particle of the white adhering, and then cut in small pieces. Half a ripe pineapple, broken with a fork into bits and sugared to taste, and four bananas sliced, are mixed with the oranges, and the whole put on ice for three or four hours. This will be found a dish rivalling the ambrosia of high Olympus.

With the first course of fruit, finger-bowls are in readiness, but are removed at its close. Hot breads and breakfast cakes are always suitable, and oatmeal, carefully cooked and served with thick cream and powdered sugar, often follows the fruit. The closing course should be hot cakes served with honey or maple syrup.

If there are ladies present, or the hostess presides, the coffee, chocolate, etc., are poured by her, and after the first course she asks the guests when they will have it served.

The following will be found an acceptable bill of fare for an ordinary breakfast party. It can of course be varied to suit the convenience and taste of housekeepers.

Bill of Fare for Breakfast.

Melons. Grapes. Oranges. Fried Perch with Sauce Tartare. Young Chickens with Cream Gravy. Saratoga Potatoes. Poached Eggs on Toast. Broiled Quails. Baked Mushrooms. Tomatoes or Celery. Bread and Butter. Crackers. Hot Cakes. Coffee. Tea. Chocolate.

If a butler serves at a breakfast he does not wear full dress as at a dinner.

Wedding Breakfast Menu.

A menu that would be easy to prepare for a wedding breakfast would be two hot dishes consisting of chicken croquettes, lobster cutlets, oyster patties or creamed oysters. Everything else might be cold and as follows: salad, either chicken or lobster, pickled oysters, a small wedding cake, little cakes for the bridemaids, Charlotte russe and coffee. The table decorations should either be all white, or the colors used in the bridemaids' costumes. Let the waitresses be dressed in white.



The simplest costume is in good taste for breakfast parties. Men wear morning dress, and ladies handsome but plain street costumes. Gloves are removed before going to the table. Bonnets are kept on.

Each gentleman is given the escort of a lady. The host conducts the lady who is the most distinguished guest to the table, and the hostess follows last with the gentleman whom it is desired to honor particularly.

Upon entering the dining-room the ladies are assisted to their seats, and the gentlemen then follow, and the meal is served. The signal for rising from the table is given by the hostess, with a smile and simple bow, and all proceed to the parlor, exchange a few pleasant remarks, and take their leave.

For informal breakfasts no after-call is expected, but for ceremonious entertainments of this kind the same observance of the rules of etiquette are required as for dinners and large parties.