Such a first meeting of bride and bridegroom will be no raping affair. There will be no shock in it, no dread, no shame or thought of shame; but as perfectly as two drops of water flow together and become one, the bodies and souls of the parties to the act will mingle in a unity the most perfect and blissful that can ever be experienced by human beings in this world. This is no dream! It is a most blessed reality, which all normally made husbands and wives can attain to, if only they are properly taught and educated, if only they will learn how to reach such blissful condition.

However, such greatly desired status is not to be had for the asking merely. Instinct can never bring it about; "innocence" will never yield such a result; and force, or the declaration of a "right" in the premises will forever banish it to the realm of the never-to-be-realized. It can only come as a result of clear-headed thinking, scientific investigation, honest study, wise and righteous action under the given conditions; and, above all, a love, each for the other, that knows no bounds. All these things must obtain, on the part of both parties concerned, or the desired results can never be attained.

Having said which, here shall follow some suggestions as to how such estate may be reached by the readers of these pages.

But first, let us finish Dr. C., and all of his tribe—banish them from all our reckoning in these matters, forever.

As already shown, this argument has not a leg to stand on. These writers treat the whole situation as though men and women were mere animals! Men and women are far more than mere animals, and God hath made them so! And for these reasons we will have respect for men and women as God has made them, rather than as Dr. C. and the "purity leagues" say God should have made them!

As a matter of fact, the secondary function of sex in the human family is something far above mere animality; it is something that mere animals know nothing about, that they can never experience, or in any way attain to, and these fundamental differences in the premises remove the whole issue from the realm of comparison with any forms or functions of mere animal life. As well reason that animals never eat cooked food, and so men ought never to eat cooked food (and there are some people who do so reason, strange to say) or that animals do not wear clothes, and so men ought not to wear clothes—as well make these, or a score more of comparisons, between the human race and mere animals, as to try to compare them in the item of their sex functions.

In only the single fact that, on the physical plane merely, coitus for the purpose of procreation is common to all animal life, mankind included, is there a point of comparison between humanity and the brute creation. Beyond that point there is nothing comparable between the two! As well say that because beasts can hear, therefore they can comprehend and enjoy a Beethoven Sonata, or because they have eyes they can delight in a picture by Corot!

This is only another way of saying that sex has functions and uses in the human family that are entirely apart from the possibilities of all other animal life—functions as much above mere animality as music is above mere physical hearing, as painting above mere physical sight.

These facts forever upset and overthrow all the theories of Dr. C. and Co., they entirely eliminate the whole bunch from any part or lot in the issue on which they have essayed to speak with such authority, but whose main point, whose essential elements they have entirely misunderstood, and hence have treated in a way that is wholly at variance with the truth in the premises, and it is the truth that we are looking for.

Once more (for it is well to go to the bottom of this matter while we are about it) the honest truth is, that it is the universal practice of the human race for men and women to cohabit for other purposes than reproduction, and it has always been so, since men and women were men and women! It is true among the most savage and barbarous tribes of the earth, and it is more emphatically true of the highly civilized people in all lands and climes. And is it reasonable to suppose that such a universal phenomenon should not have been intended to be as it is! As well say that appetite for food is a mistake, one that ought to be eliminated!

Again, the experiences of men and women, all over the world, prove that, where this act is engaged in properly, according to the laws that obtain in the premises, it conduces to the highest physical, mental, and spiritual well-being of the parties concerned. Indeed, it is beyond doubt true that the men and women who have never known this most perfect of all human experiences, have never reached the summit of human attainment, have never arrived at the perfection of manhood and womanhood. Length of life, health of the highest sort, and happiness, the most delectable—all come, these and more, to men and women by this route, if it is rightly traveled. Hell and damnation result if that road is wrongly trod!

And that's what makes the manner of traveling it so important.



VI

THE ACT OF COITUS

Strictly speaking, the act of coitus should be considered as composed of four parts, or acts, of one common play, or drama. Not that there is a sharp line of demarcation between each act or part, for the four really blend into one composite whole, when taken together, seriatim; but there are four phases of the act which may well be studied separately, in making a detailed review of a sexual meeting of a man and a woman.

These four parts are: first, the preparation for the act; second, the union of the organs; third, the motion of the organs; fourth, the orgasm.

In what immediately follows, these four stages of the act of coitus will be studied and traced in detail, with the utmost care, in the hope that such pursuit may result in the best possible good to the student.

Regarding the first part of the act, let it be said that here, above all other situations in the world "haste makes waste." Put that down as the most fundamental fact in this whole affair! Right here is where ninety-nine one-hundredths of all the troubles of married life begin! And the fault, right here, is usually (though not always) with the husband! But he doesn't mean to be bad. Not once in a thousand times does he deliberately purpose to do wrong. He is simply the victim of undirected and ungoverned passion, and of an ignorance which results in stupid blundering, or carelessness, or thoughtlessness. What such a husband practically does is to rush blindly and furiously along a way he knows nothing of, but which he has been led to think he has a right to travel when and how he will! The ordinary figure of a "bull in a china shop" can but faintly describe the smashing and grinding to powder of the most delicate situation that can occur in all human experiences, that result from such action as this. Ideals that have touched heaven are tumbled from their lofty places and ruthlessly crushed to atoms; hopes that were beyond the power of words to express go out in despair; dreams become a hideous nightmare; and love, which was as pure as crystal waters, is muddied, befouled, and made into a cesspool! And all this because of ignorance or careless hurrying, of making haste where the utmost of time, caution and intelligent care should have obtained!

As has already been explained, when the act of coitus is to be engaged in, the sex organs of both the man and the woman undergo great changes. Blood rushes to all these parts, in copious quantities, till they become gorged. The result is that the penis is enlarged to several times its dormant size, and the vulva and vagina should, and will, under right conditions, undergo similar changes and transformation.

But there is usually a great difference in the length of time it takes for these changes to take place in men and women. On the part of the man, as soon as his passion is aroused to any considerable extent, the penis at once makes itself ready for action. It "tumesces," or swells itself hard, almost instantly; and, so far as its mere physical stoutness is concerned, is as ready to enter the vagina then as ever, even if it has to force itself in.

On the other hand, the tumescence of the parts in women is usually, (especially as girls are reared) not infrequently, a matter of considerable time, not infrequently several minutes, and now and then, of half-an-hour or more! This is not always so, for in some very passionate women they are ready for action almost instantly. Indeed, there are some women whose sex organs tumesce if they (the women) even touch a man—any man—and occasionally a case occurs where a woman will experience an orgasm if her clothing brushes against a man! Such cases are, of course, abnormal. But, for the most part, it is true that women are much slower in making ready for the sexual act than men are.

Again, as the organs become ready for the act, nature has provided a most wonderful means for bringing about their easy and happy union. Both the male and female organs secrete and emit, or pour out, a sort of lubricating fluid which covers and sometimes almost floods the parts. This is a clear and limpid substance, that looks much like the white of an egg, and is much like the saliva that is secreted in the mouth, only it is a thicker substance. Chemically, it is almost identical with saliva. That generated by the man is called "prostatic flow;" that produced by the woman "pre-coital secretion."

Now, if time is given for this fluid to be secreted and exuded, all the parts become covered or saturated with it, and they are admirably equipped for easy union. The glans penis is then covered with the slippery fluid, and the vulva and all the walls of the vagina are laved with the substance. At the same time, the vaginal walls have widened and grown soft, and all the parts of the vulva (which are yet to be named and described in detail) are in like condition. The result is that, though the penis be what might at first seem of such size as to make its entrance into the vagina impossible, as a matter of fact, such entrance is perfectly easy, when the parts are fully ready to be joined. But not before or otherwise!

So here is where the trouble comes. If the husband is in haste, if he does not wait for the wife to become ready to meet him; if he forces his large, hard penis into the vagina before either is fully ready for such union—when there is no prostatic fluid on its glans, and the vagina is shrunken and its walls are dry—if coitus is engaged in in this way, it is perfectly easy to see that only disaster can result! The woman is hurt, sometimes most cruelly, and the man in reality gets only a beastly gratification from the act. Of all bad things in all the world, such manner of coition is the worst!

And so, in this first part of the act, the one foremost thought to remember and observe is, take plenty of time!

There is another reason why, on the part of woman, this time should be extended, especially when she is a bride and inexperienced in these matters, and that is, that her "innocence," and all her education, make her feel that she is doing wrong, or at least permitting a wrong thing to be done, and this holds back the proper growth of her passion, hinders the tumescence of her sex organs, delays the flow of the precoital secretion, and so keeps her from becoming properly prepared for her share of the mutual act.

Again, her fear of pregnancy may still further retard her coming into a proper condition. Indeed, this last is the almost common cause for her failing to be in readiness for meeting her husband. All of which items must be taken into account by both husband and wife, and intelligently, lovingly dealt with, if the best results for both parties are attained.

As regards the item of possible pregnancy, special note will be made of this feature later on. It is here placed in abeyance for the time being, because its consideration can be better provided for after some other points have been studied.

Now the one easily understood (and as easily practiced as understood) direction as to what to do by way of preparation for the act of coitus is: do as lovers do when they are "courting." And everybody knows what that is! And note this—that nobody ever hurries when they are courting! They delay, they protract, they dilly-dally, they "fool around," they pet each other in all sorts of possible and impossible ways. They kiss each other—"long and passionate kisses, they again and again give and receive"—they hug each other, nestle into each other's arms—in a word, they "play together" in a thousand-and-one ways which the "goody-goods" declare to be wrong, and the cold-blooded call nonsense or foolishness, but which all lovers know is an unspeakable delight ("unspeakable" is the word, for who wants to talk when these blissful experiences are going on!).

Now, these things, and the likes of these things, in limitless supply, should always precede the act of coitus. It is right there that this part of the first act of this wonderful four-act drama or play should be wrought out, and if they are omitted or disregarded, the play will end in tragedy, with all the leading actors left dead upon the stage!

Now the chief, if not the only, reason why this part of the supreme act of married life is not always preluded in this way is found in the false view of what the marriage ceremony means, and a wrong impression as to what it confers upon the parties who say "yes" to its prescriptions. That is, the common idea is, that the taking of "marriage vows" bestows certain rights and imposes certain duties upon the new husband and wife. It is thought that such ceremony makes certain acts right which would otherwise be wrong, and that it establishes the right to engage in such acts, with or without any further consultation or consent in the premises. It makes love a matter of contract, a something bound by promise and pledge rather than a free and unfettered effusion of the soul.

The result of this is that, whereas, before the marriage ceremony both the man and woman take the utmost care to do everything in their power to increase, magnify, and retain each other's love, after they have been granted a "license," and the minister has put their hands together and prayed over them—after this, they both think they have a "cinch" on each other, that they are bound together by a bond that cannot be broken, a tie so strong that it will need no further looking after, but which will "stay put" of its own accord, and which may therefore be let to shift for itself from the hour of its pronouncement! Nothing could be further from the truth than this is. And yet it is a common feeling and belief among young married people!

Nor is it any wonder that this should be so. The very form of the marriage ceremony and contract tends to make it so. The fact that marriage originated as a form of slavery, and that much of its original status yet remains—all these things tend to establish these wrong ideas regarding the estate, in the minds of the parties to it.

Nor are the evils that come from such wrong view of marriage all confined to one side of the house. On the contrary, they are about evenly divided between husbands and wives, witness a few illustrations, as follows:

A couple had been married about a year. They had no children, nor were there prospects of any. The husband was beginning to spend his evenings away from home, leaving his wife alone. One evening, as he was making ready to go out, his wife said: "What makes you go out evenings now, and leave me alone! You didn't use to do it!" And the husband replied:

"Why, you don't do anything to make it interesting for me now! You used to put on your prettiest clothes when I came to see you, fixed up your hair bewitchingly, had a smile for me that wouldn't come off, would sing for me, read to me, sit on my lap and pet me and kiss me, and now you never do anything of the kind." And before he could say more, the wife responded: "Oh, but we are married now, and it's your duty to stay with me!"

What wonder that the husband went out of the house, slamming the door after him! The wonder is that he ever came back.

Again: A woman who was a graduate of a famous Eastern College and who had taught for a number of years, who was from one of the "first families" in the east, and was counted as a lady of the highest culture and refinement, finally married a Western business man. On their bridal night, as they were retiring, the man laid his hand on the woman's bare shoulder, and she threw it off, and said: "Don't be disgusting! I married you because I was tired of taking care of myself, or of having my relatives take care of me. You are worth fifty thousand dollars, and one-third of all that was made mine just as soon as the preacher got through his closing prayer, and you can't help it! That's the truth, and we are married, and you can make the best of it!"

These are both truthful tales, nor are they the only ones of the sort that could be told.

On the other hand, these are matched with acts of ignorant and careless young husbands, who do dastardly deeds to their brides because they think the law and the contract give them the right! There is no need to go into details. The whole evil is revealed by the words of the woman just quoted: "Oh, but we are married now."

These records, and all like them, lead to the remark that marriage confers no rights, to either the bride or the bridegroom, in the highest meaning of the word. So far as its outward and formal observance is concerned, marriage is merely a sort of protection for society which has grown up through the years, and which is probably for the best, for the present, things being as they are. But it should be well understood that it can never lead to true happiness if it is viewed and utilized merely on its legal and formal side. True marriage is based on mutual love; and mutual love can never be traded upon, or made an item of formal agreement and contract. People may contract to live together and to cohabit, and they may faithfully carry out their agreements; but this is not marriage! It is simply legalized prostitution, bargain and sale, for a consideration. It is blasphemy to call it by the sacred name of marriage!

Truly does Tennyson say: "Free love will not be bound." Indeed it cannot be! It must remain forever free if it stays at all. And if the parties to it try to bind it, the more chains, fastenings, pledges and agreements they put upon it, the sooner and quicker will it escape from all its holdings and fly away and stay away!

And so, to come back to where we left off (for we said there should be no hurrying or haste here) let married people understand that the key to married happiness is to keep on "courting" each other. Indeed, to make courting continually grow to more and more. During the whole extent of married life, never neglect, much less forget to be lovers, and to show, by all your acts, that you are lovers, and great shall be your reward. Don't ask how to do this! You know how, well enough. Do it!

And be careful not to do anything that a careful lover ought not to do! This direction should be heeded by both husband and wife. Make yourself beautiful for your husband, Oh, wife, and keep yourself so. As between the public, or your friends, or society, give them what of yourself you can spare, after you have given to your lover all that you can bestow upon him, or he can wish you to bestow. Don't give to everybody and everything else, church, society, work, children, friends, or what-so-ever—don't give all of yourself to these, and let your husband "take what there is left." Don't do that, as you value your married success and happiness! Don't say: "Oh, but we are married now," and let it go at that!

The beautiful and delicate flowers of married love need to be watched and tended with the most skilful care, continually, by both husband and wife. Treated in this way, they will not only be fragrant and lovely through all the years of wedded life; but as, one by one, the blossoms shed their petals and change their forms so that luscious fruits may come in turn—as these changes take place, new, more beautiful and more fragrant flowers will continue to the very end of the longest married life. Don't ever forget this, or doubt it, as you hope for happiness in the marriage state! Mind what is here said, and act accordingly all the time—days, nights and Sundays.

Now if these truths are thoroughly inculcated, "kicked in" so firmly and deeply that they will never "jar loose" or get away, we will move on.

So, then, the first part of every act of coitus should always be a courting act, in which there should be no haste, but in which the parties should "make delays," as John Burroughs says.

And this should be added: that, for married lovers, courting has a far wider range of possibilities than it has for the unmarried. Previous to marriage, there are conventionalities and clothes in the way! After that, neither of these need be in evidence, and this makes a lot of difference, and all in favor of the best results, if rightly used, and made the most of. One hardly need to go into details here, (though this may be done later on in this writing). If the lovers will be as free with each other unclothed as clothed; if they will utterly ignore all conventionalities, and do with and for each other anything and everything that their impulses and inclinations suggest, or their desires prompt; if they will, with the utmost abandon give themselves up to petting each other in every possible way that mother nature has put within their reach; if they will hug and kiss and "spoon" and "play with each other" just as they want to do—if they will do this, and not hurry about it—then, in due course, they will successfully execute the first act of the great play they are performing; the sex organs will become fully ready for the union they are both longing for; the "prostate flow" will have added to the erect condition of the penis; the walls of the vagina and all the area of the vulva will be enlarged, soft, flexible and made smooth and slippery by a most generous supply of the "pre-coital secretion" and everything will be in perfect readiness for the next part of the performance, namely the union of the organs.

And here it becomes necessary to say something about the position of the parties in making such union. There are a large number of these possible, some of which may be noted later, but here, only the most common one will be considered (it is said there are more than forty different positions possible in this act).

The most common position is for the woman to lie flat on her back, with her legs spread wide apart, and her knees drawn up so that the angle made by the upper and lower part of the leg shall be less than a right angle. Her head should not be too high, there should be no pillow under it.

Into her arms, and between her spread legs as she lies thus, her lover should come. His body will thus be over and above her, and he should sustain himself on his elbows and knees, so that little or none of his weight may rest upon her. In this position, face to face (and it should be noted that only in the human family is this position of coitus possible! Among mere animals, the male is always upon the back of the female. They—mere animals—can never look each other in the eye and kiss each other during the act! This is another marked and very significant difference between human beings and all other animals in this regard) it is perfectly natural and easy for the organs to go together, when properly made ready, as here-before described. The woman should also place her heels in the knee-hollows of her lover's legs, and clasp his body with her arms.

The entrance of the penis into the vagina should not be too abrupt, unless circumstances are perfectly favorable for such meeting and it is the wish of the wife that it be made in this way. It is only fair to say, though, that such bold and pronounced entrance is often greatly desired by the woman, if her passion has been fully aroused at this stage of the act. Such union is not infrequently of the greatest delight to her, if everything is favorable for its being so made. But, if there is any pain produced in her by the coming together, the meeting should be gentle and slow, the penis working its way into the vagina by degrees, till, finally, it is entirely encased therein. Once thus happily together, the vagina and uterine cavity will still further expand, till, in due order, the two organs will be fitted together perfectly, a single unit, one, in the highest sense of unity.

This is the second act in this wonderful play.

Once well together, and the organs perfectly settled and adapted to each other, the third act begins, namely, the motion of the organs—the sliding of the penis back and forth, partly in and out of the vagina, though this is not really the best way of describing just what should take place. What should actually be done is, that the two organs should engage in this motion, which is common to them both. They should mutually slip a few inches, back and forth, each party to the motion doing a fair half.

It is often supposed, by both an uninitiated husband and an "innocent" wife, that all the motion should originate with the husband—that he should slide his penis in and out of the vagina, while the woman should lie still and "let him do it all." This is, however, a great mistake, and one that has caused an endless amount of ill to untold numbers of husbands and wives. And for the following reasons:

In the position just described, if the wife has her arms around her lover's body and her heels in his knee-pockets, while he supports himself by his elbows and knees over and above her, resting none of his weight upon her, it is perfectly easy for her to lift her hips up and down, or sway them from side to side, or swing them in a circling "round-and-round" motion, as she may choose to do. She can thus originate her half of the in-and-out motion—a something she will delight to do, if given a fair chance. If, however, the man lies heavily upon her, holding her down with the weight of his body, the possibility of such action on her part is prevented, and this results disastrously to both parties. And so, in this part of the act, the husband should take the utmost care to give his wife the full and complete freedom to move her hips as she chooses, and as a successful climax demands that she should.

Now if the wife be left free to move, as just described, and the in-and-out motion proceeds as it should, what immediately follows will vary in a great degree. Thus, the time taken to reach the climax, or last act of the performance, may be a few seconds, or several minutes, may require a mere half dozen motions, or several hundred! All depends on the intensity of the passions of the husband and wife, especially the latter, and their skill in manipulating this part of the act.

The effect of this motion is to still further excite and still more distend all the organs involved. Normally, the motion grows faster and faster, the strokes becoming as long as the length of the organs will possibly permit without separating them. The flow of the lubricating fluids, from both organs, becomes more and more copious, till, all at once, the orgasm, or fourth stage, is reached!

It is difficult to describe what this orgasm is like. There is no bodily sensation that at all corresponds to it, unless it be a sneeze, and this is only like it in that it is spontaneous, and a sort of nervous spasm (a sneeze is sometimes spoken of as an orgasm). A sexual orgasm is a nervous spasm, or a series of pulsating nervous explosions which defy description. The action is entirely beyond the control of the will, when it finally arrives, and the sensation it produces is delectable beyond telling. It is the topmost pinnacle of all human experiences. For a husband and wife to reach this climax, at exactly the same instant, is a consummation that can never be excelled in human life. It is a goal worthy the endeavor of all husbands and wives, to attain to this supreme height of sexual possibilities.

On the part of the man, the orgasm throws the semen into, and all about the vaginal-uterine tract. The amount of semen thus discharged at a single climax is about a tablespoonful, enough to entirely flush and flood the area into which it is thrown. Its use and action there have already been described, and so need not be repeated here.

On the part of the woman, the orgasm causes no corresponding emission of fluid, of any sort, that is jetted forth as is the semen. Yet the spasmodic action of the sexual parts, so far as nervous explosions are concerned, is exactly like that of her partner. Palpitation follows palpitation, through all the sexual area; the mouth of the womb opens and closes convulsively, the vagina dilates and contracts again and again, and the vulva undergoes similar actions. The sensations are all of the most delectable nature, the whole of the woman's body being thrilled, over and over, again and again, with delights inexpressible. This, however, seems to be the entire mission of the orgasm in woman. It has nothing whatever to do with conception; though many people, especially young husbands who know just a little about the phenomenon, believe that it is an essential to pregnancy. But such is by no means the case. All that is needed to bring about conception in a woman is the presence of the ovum in the uterus, and its meeting semen there, and so becoming fertilized. So far as becoming pregnant is concerned, the woman need have no pleasure at all in the act of coitus. Indeed, women have been made pregnant by securing fresh semen from some man and injecting it into the vagina with an ordinary female syringe!

The false idea, which largely prevails, and which usually takes the form that there is no danger or possibility of conception unless the orgasm is simultaneous on the part of the man and woman, has caused many a woman to become pregnant when she thought such a result to be impossible, because she and her lover did not "spend" at the same instant. For the same reason, many a young husband has impregnated his wife when he least expected to do so, thinking that because he alone experienced the orgasm, that therefore conception was impossible.

Again, there are many married men and women who do not know that it is possible for a woman to experience an orgasm at all! The writer once knew a case of this kind, where a husband and wife, most intelligent and well cultivated people, lived together for twenty years, and to whom were born six children, who, at the end of that time were wholly unaware of such possibility! They afterwards discovered it by accident, as it were, and after that enjoyed its delights for many years. There are some, yea, many, women who never experience this sensation at all, but of this more will be said later.

All these phenomena seem to indicate the fact that, so far as women are concerned, the orgasm is entirely for her delectation and delight. It forms no part of the act of conception, and its only possible function, beyond that of pleasure, is that, because of the exceedingly delightful sensations it produces, it may lure women to engage in coitus when, but for this fact, they would not do so, and that it thus increases the possibility of women becoming mothers. Indeed, there is no stronger temptation to a woman to run the risk of becoming pregnant than her desire to experience an orgasm! But more of this later.

As soon as the orgasm is over, a total collapse of the husband and wife takes place. They are truly "spent," a most expressive word, which alone can describe their condition. On the part of the man the up-to-this-moment stout penis, becomes almost instantly limp and shrunken, while all the female organs become quiescent. A most delightful languor steals over them; every nerve and fibre of the whole body relaxes; and a desire to fall asleep at once, comes upon them irresistibly. And the thing for them to do is to avail themselves of such natural impulse, just as soon as possible. They should always have at hand, and within easy reach, a towel, or napkin, with which to care for the surplus of the seminal emission, which, as soon as the organs are separated, will, in greater or less quantity, flow from the vagina. Some of the same fluid will also remain upon the penis when it is withdrawn. The husband should absorb this surplus which remains with him with the towel, as soon as the organs are parted, and immediately leave his super-imposed position, leaving his wife perfectly free, to do as she will. She should arrange the towel between her thighs, exactly as she would a sanitary napkin, making no attempt to remove the surplus semen at that time, and turn over and go to sleep immediately. (It is said that if the woman goes to sleep on her back, after coition, she thereby increases the probability, of becoming pregnant. This is a point that women who greatly desire motherhood should note. The writer knew one case where a wife lay on her back for twenty-four hours after coition and so became pregnant after all other means had failed.)

Now it might seem that such neglect, on the part of the woman, to immediately remove the surplus semen, was uncleanly and unsanitary. But this is not at all true, and for this reason: The semen is a most powerful stimulant to all the female sex-organs, and to the whole body of the woman. The organs themselves will absorb quantities of semen, if left in contact with it, and it is most healthful and beneficial to them, and to the woman, to have them do so. It is for this cause that many women increase in flesh, and even grow fat after they are married and so can avail themselves of this healthful food. As a matter of fact, there is no nerve-stimulant, or nerve-quieter, that is as potent to woman-kind as semen. There are multitudes of "nervous" women, hysterical even, who are restored to health, and kept in good health, through the stimulative effects of satisfactory coitus and the absorption of semen, when both these items are present in perfection. On the other hand, there are many women who suffer all sorts of ills, when these normally beneficial factors are misused or wrongly applied. The results that follow all depend upon the way the act is done, and its products utilized.

So, after the act of coition is over, let the woman slip a "bandage" into place as soon as possible, and go to sleep. If she sleeps long, so much the better, so much more will she be benefited by the presence of the semen and its absorption. When she naturally wakens, she may bathe the vulva region with warm water; but there is no need of, nor is it wise to try to cleanse the vagina and the uterine tract by the use of a vaginal syringe. Above all, never inject cold water into the vagina, especially do not do this immediately after coitus. Some women use a cold water injection immediately after coitus. There is no surer way to ill health and ultimate suicide. The parts are congested with blood at such times, and to pour cold water upon them is as though, when one is dripping with perspiration, he should plunge into a cold bath. Nature has made wise provision for taking care of all the semen that remains in the vagina. Let the parts alone, and they will cleanse and care for themselves.

Such, then, is a somewhat extended review of the act of coitus at its best estate, and in a general way. Its perfect accomplishment is an art to be cultivated, and one in which expertness can only be attained by wise observation, careful study of all the factors involved, and a loving adaptation of the bodies, minds and souls of both the parties to the act. It is no mere animal function. It is a union, a unity of "two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one." There is nothing low or degrading about it, when it is what it ought to be, when it is brought to, and experienced at, its highest and best estate. It is God-designed, God-born, God-bestowed! As such it should be thankfully received and divinely used by all the sons and daughters of men.



VII

THE FIRST UNION

And now, although so much has been said, there is much that remains to be said, and which ought to be said, to do the subject justice. Some of these things are as follows:

Something more ought to be told about the second part of the act of coitus, the union of the organs, when this occurs for the first time on the part of the woman.

At the first meeting of the husband and wife, if the woman be a virgin, there are certain conditions which exist, on her part, that are not present in after-meetings, and these must be understood and rightly dealt with, or the worst of bad results may ensue.

Of course, at such first meeting, all the preliminaries prescribed as forming the first movement of the act should be carried out to the limit. It is not too much to say that these should be prolonged for some days! Do not start, young husband, at this statement! Well did Alexander Dumas, pere, write: "Oh, young husband, have a care in the first overtures you make toward your bride! She may shrink from what she feels must come; she may put her hands over her eyes to shut out the sight; but do not forget that she is a woman, and so is filled with curiosity, under any and all circumstances! And you may set it down as sure, that, though she blinds herself with her hands as she scales the dizzy heights you are leading her over, nevertheless, she will peek through her fingers! So she will watch you with most critical eyes, and note every show of selfishness or blundering on your part! So have a care! You may think you are aiming your arrow at the sun. See to it that it does not alight in the mud!" Good words these, and to be heeded, come what may!

As a rule, if the bride be a virgin, it is well to let plenty of time elapse before engaging in the full act of coitus! Delay here will lead to a possible loving speed, later on. The young people should take time enough to get better acquainted with each other than ever before; to become, in a measure, accustomed to the uncovered presence of each other, and to the new possibilities of "courting" and "playing together" that their new conditions offer. In any case, full coitus should not be attempted till the bride is at least willing. If she can be brought to become anxious for the meeting, so much the better.

And so, with plenty of time taken for making ready for the act, we come to the first union of the organs for a newly married couple, the bride being a virgin. And here is where an explanation is called for.

The vulva, or external part of the female sex organs, is a mouth shaped aperture, located laterally between the forward part of the thighs. In shape, size and structure, it much resembles the external parts of the mouth proper. It begins just in front of the anus, and extends forward above the pubic bone and a little ways up the belly. Its entire lateral length is about four or more inches.

This organ is made up of several parts, as follows: The lips, or labiae, as they are technically known, the clitoris, and the vaginal opening. The lips are a double row, two on either side, and are known as labiae major and labiae minor, that is, the thicker and thinner, or larger and smaller lips. They extend almost the entire length of the vulva, the outer lips folding over the inner ones when the thighs are together. The outer parts of the larger lips are covered with hair. In thickness and quality these labiae are much like the lips of the face of each individual, a large mouth and thick lips indicate a large vulva and thick labiae and vice-versa. The clitoris is a gland that is located forward, on the upper part of the vulva. It corresponds, almost exactly, in make-up and function, with the glans penis of the male organ. The vaginal opening is at the rear, or lower part of the vulva, and leads directly into the vagina proper.

All these parts are composed of most keenly responsive nerves, and they are covered with a thin, delicate and exceedingly sensitive skin, almost exactly such as lines the cheeks and the mouth. Both the clitoris and the lips are filled with expandable blood vessels, and in a state of tumescence they are greatly enlarged by a flow of blood into the parts. The clitoris, in this condition, undergoes an enlargement, or "erection," which is exactly like that of the glans penis. So much as to the physiology of this part of the female sex organs, all of which should be well understood by every bride and bridegroom, though often it is not.

Now, in its virgin state, the vulva has another part, not yet named, and this is the hymen, or "maiden-head" as it is commonly known. This is a membrane that grows across the forward, or upper part of the vaginal opening, and so closes up nearly all that part of the vulva. This hymen is not always present, however, even in a state of undoubted virginity. Sometimes it is torn away in childhood by the little girl's fingers, as she "plays with herself." Sometimes it is ruptured by lifting, again it is broken away by the use of a large-sized female syringe. For all these reasons, it is not right to conclude that a bride is not a virgin because the hymen is not present and in evidence at the first coition.

Now many young husbands, and some young wives, are wholly ignorant of the existence of the hymen, and of the troubles it may cause at the second part of the sexual act, in a first meeting. This membrane is often quite tough and strong. It is grown fast to the lower part of the clitoris and to the inside surfaces of the smaller lips, and it covers so much of the vaginal opening that it is practically impossible for the erect penis to enter the vagina so long as it is present. Now if, under these conditions, the bride and groom (especially the latter) are ignorant of the real construction of the parts, and so should try to make a union of the organs, they would find such union obstructed, if not impossible; and if the man, puzzled, and impatient, and passion-driven, should force a hasty entrance into the vagina, rupturing the hymen ruthlessly, he would hurt the woman cruelly, probably cause her to bleed freely from the wounded parts, and shock her seriously! All of which would be a score against the husband, would brand him as a brute, or a bungler, and so tend to make his "sun-aimed arrow alight in the mud."

The thing to do here, is, first of all, to know the situation and to talk it over, and carefully, delicately, do the best that can be done about it. If the conditions are fully understood by the bride and groom, they can, in almost every case, by working and moving together carefully, overcome the obstacle, remove the hymen with little or no pain or loss of blood.

As a matter of fact, when the time for meeting comes, if all the facts are known, and the husband will hold his erect penis still and steady against the hymen, the bride will so press against it, and "wiggle around" it, that by her own motions, she will break the membrane and so be rid of it. She knows how much pain she can endure, and when the pressure is too hard she can relieve it by her own action! Anyhow, what is done she does herself, and so can never charge up against her husband!

It is a rare case in which, by mutual willingness, and desire and mutual effort to remove the obstruction, it cannot be eliminated with satisfaction to both bride and groom. If, however, careful and well-executed efforts fail to remove it, the services of a surgeon should be procured, and he, by a very simple and almost painless operation, can remove the difficulty. But never, no never, should it be brutally torn away by the force of the husband, and without the full willingness of the wife. Mark this well. As a matter of fact, the wise and practical thing for every bride to do, would be to go to a surgeon a few days before her wedding, and have him remove the hymen for her. Such operation is nearly painless, and is very easily done. Still, to do this might raise a doubt of virginity on the part of the husband and so this is a point to be careful about!

The act of removing the hymen is often spoken of as "defloration"—the tearing to pieces of a flower. The term is not fortunate. Nothing worth while has been taken away by removing the hymen, but much that is useful has been acquired. An organ that has outlived whatever usefulness it might once have had has been removed, and its going has made possible new and beautiful uses in life. If this has been accomplished by the mutual desire and effort of the bride and groom, it is a cause for joy and not of sorrow; of delight and not of mourning. As well weep over the removal of the vermiform appendix as for the destruction of the hymen.

With this obstacle rightly overcome, the second act of coitus offers no situation that calls for further remark or explanation.

And now a few words about the probabilities of conception resulting from coitus, and some matters which are very closely related thereto.

In the first place, every healthy and fairly-well-provided-for husband and wife should desire to have children, and should act in accordance with such wish. This is not only in harmony with the primary purpose of sex in the human family, but it is a response to a natural demand of the human soul, in both man and woman. As Bernard Shaw makes Jack Tanner say: "There is a father-heart as well as a mother-heart" and parenthood is the supreme desire of all normal and wholesome-minded men and women. It is not an "instinct," but something far above that quality.

Parenthood among mere animals is the result of instinct, and of that alone, but not so in the human race. Human beings naturally desire to make a home for themselves, and a home, in the fullest meaning of that word, means children and a "family circle." This is something that animals know nothing about. Animal mothers forget and ignore their progeny as soon as they are weaned; and animal fathers will, in many cases, kill them as soon as they are born, if they get a chance to do so. These facts prove that parenthood, in the human family, is something much more than in the rest of the animal kingdom. Indeed, the whole matter of comparing this quality, as it exists in humanity, with that of animals merely, is only a continuance of the similar abomination of comparing the sex functions of these two forms of life. In the real essentials of existence, they are in no way comparable; and to make such is not only folly, but approaches the positively criminal. The results of doing so certainly lead to crime.

Fundamentally, then, nearly all men and women marry with the purpose and hope of having a family of children. They may not put it that way, may not even acknowledge it, even to each other or to themselves; but if married people find that they cannot produce, it is a source of unspeakable regret to them both. In such cases, the inherent desire for parenthood will "cry aloud and spare not." A "barren" woman greatly mourns her inability, and will shed bitter tears over the fact, if she be truly human; and an "impotent" man will be practically despised by all who are aware of his incompetence.

And yet, though all normal men and women desire to have children, it is only right that they should desire to have them as they want them, and when they want them, and not whenever they may happen to come! That is, sensible and thoughtful people, who plan definitely for the future, want to make the coming of children to them an affair of deliberate arrangement, and not of chance.

This is not only as it should be, but is really the only right way that children should be begotten and born. Which statement calls for a few special words on the right of parents to regulate the production of progeny.

There is much talk, in some quarters, about "race suicide," and the wickedness of deliberately limiting the number of children in a family. Such talking and writing arouse anxious questionings in the minds of conscientious young married men and women who are desiring to do the right thing in the premises, but are uncertain as to what the right thing is, and for such are the following words:

Many years ago, an English philosopher and statesman, Malthus by name, discovered and announced the fact that the rate of natural increase in the human race was several times greater than that of the possible rate of production of food supply for their support. Scientifically phrased, his statement was that "the rate of increase in humanity is in geometrical ratio, while the rate of increase of possible food supply is in arithmetical ratio." And from this basis, he reasoned that, unless the surplus of human production was in some way cut off and destroyed, the whole human race would ultimately demand more food supply than could possibly be produced; and so, in due course of time, the whole race would perish from starvation!

Then he proceeded to reason that the purpose of disease, plague, pestilence, famine, poverty and warfare was to cut off and destroy the surplus of humanity, and hence all these alleged evils were in reality blessings in disguise, and that it would be wrong to interfere with their really beneficent workings! Volumes could be written, and they could not tell the half of the misery and evil that the promulgation of this doctrine has done for the civilized world, but there is no space here for giving any such details; nor need this be done, though the statement of the doctrine had to be made to make ready for what is to follow.

Now, is it not far more reasonable to suppose that, since the possibility of determining the number of off-spring a husband and wife may produce has been given them; that since such result can be, for them, made a matter of choice, of an exercise of the will, and not of blind instinct—under these circumstances, all of which undoubtedly exist, is it not far more reasonable to believe that it is the purpose of the Creator that the limiting of the number of human beings in the world should be brought about by curbing the birth rate, rather than by killing the surplus after they are born!

There can be but one answer made to this question, by any intelligent man or woman.

These facts, then, establish the rightfulness of determining the number and size of a family by every husband and wife. But this does not mean that they are to entirely refrain from cohabiting, in order to keep from having children! This phase of the argument has already been gone over and disposed of. But it does mean that husbands and wives have a right to use such rightful means for the limiting of the number of offspring as are conducive to the interests of all parties concerned—themselves, their circumstances, the born or unborn children, the state, the nation. Let the bride and groom be well convinced and established in their own minds on these points, as early in their relation as possible. They should be so from the very outset—must be so, to reach the best results.

The issue then presents itself: How can such deliberate and wilful determination of the number of children a husband and wife may have, be brought about?

And the answer is, that it can never be accomplished by careless and hap-hazard cohabiting! On the contrary, it can only be compassed by the most careful and watchful processes of engaging in coitus, and by a full knowledge of physiological facts, and by acting, always, in accordance with the same. It is no road for careless travel, but it is a way worth going in, for all that.

On this point, let it be said that all sane and intelligent men and women agree that anything even approaching infanticide is nothing short of a crime, and that abortion, except for the purpose of saving the life of the mother, is practically murder.

But, while this is all true, to prevent the contact of two germs which, if permitted to unite, would be liable to result in a living human form, is quite another affair.

It is only this aspect of the situation which will be considered in what follows.

Now, as has already been shown, the essentials for conception consist of having the ovum present in the womb, and its meeting the semen there. The corollary of this is, that whenever these coincidences take place, there is a possibility for conception.

But in all normal cases, the ovum only passes into the womb once in every twenty-eight days; and, as a rule, it only remains in the womb for about half that period of time, that is, for about 14 or 15 days in each month. And so, since the menstrual flow ceases after about five days from its beginning, in about ten days after its stopping, the ovum will have passed out of the womb, and hence that organ contains nothing that is impregnable. Under these conditions, semen may be deposited in the womb, without danger of impregnation. This is a simple proposition, and easy to understand if once known.

However, it must be said that these generally common conditions do not always obtain—that is, they are not true in the case of all women. There are women who will conceive at any time in the month, if they are given a chance to do so. The physiological reason for such possibility is said to be this: There are always ova in the ovaries, in varying stages of development. Ordinarily, only once a month do any of these pass down into the womb; but, in exceptional cases, sometimes these ova are so partially held in the ovaries that, under the excitement of coitus, and because all these parts dilate so much during the act, an ovum may slip its moorings, under such conditions, pass down into the uterus at an untimely season, meet the semen there, and pregnancy result. Such are the facts in some cases.

How, then, can a husband and wife tell how it is, or will be, in their particular case?

The answer is that they can only tell by trying, and that should be done as follows:

The first sexual meeting of the bride and groom should never take place until at least ten days after the ceasing of the menstrual flow in the bride! This is a rule that should never be violated if the parties wish to "test out" the real condition as to whether or not the bride has any "free time." The chances are several to one that she has such leeway; but the fact can only be established by "proving up" and this can never be done if any chances are taken. Put this down as rule number one.

For this reason, it is well for the bride to fix the wedding day; and, if possible, for her to locate it sometime during the probably immune period. And the nearer she can bring this day to the beginning of such period of freedom from danger of pregnancy, the better. For, if it should happen that the first coitus should take place only a day or two before the time when another "monthly" was due, such excitement might hasten the passage of the nearly-ripe ovum into the uterus, and conception might occur. In which case, "all the fat would be in the fire," nothing would be proved, and the parties would be as ignorant as ever regarding the facts in their case.

And so, the first sexual meeting of a bride and bridegroom should be not earlier than ten days after the ceasing of the menstrual flow and not later than three days before the next monthly is due. Put that down as rule number two, never to be violated.

And if marriage takes place before this period of probable immunity on the part of the bride arrives, the only safe thing to do is to "patiently wait" till such time arrives. This may "require fortitude" on the part of both parties, but it is the only safe thing to do. And to do just that, will amply repay such waiting. The writer knows of a case where the wedding took place just three days before the bride's next monthly was due, and she and her husband waited for more than two weeks before they met sexually! But it paid to wait, for their doing so proved that the bride had two weeks of "free time" in each month, and this was worth all it cost to find out! Take time!

And now let it be added that it is a great accomplishment for a husband and wife to be free from a fear of pregnancy as a result of coitus. This is a thousand times truer for the woman than for the man, for it is she who has to bear the burden of what follows, if following there be. The husband can "do the deed" and go about his business. The wife, if "the fertile seed" takes root, has before her months of care and anxiety, and she risks her very life in what may come of it all. For these reasons, she has a right to dictate all the terms which are liable to cause her to become a mother. And yet she should do this with full regard for the husband, in love, in true wifely-womanhood. On this point, do not fail to read "The Helpmate," by May Sinclair. It is a story that no bride and bridegroom should fail to read and study, carefully.

The whole subject of how to engage in satisfactory coitus and avoid pregnancy may be summed up as follows:—The attainment of such a condition is well worth the most careful, earnest and honestly pains-taking endeavor. For, if such status be not reached, its lack will be a source of endless contentions and differences between the husband and wife. It will lead to jealousies, quarrels, and all sorts of marital woes. But, the situation once mastered, by the most loving and accurate of scientific methods of procedure, a happy married life is certain to result. Otherwise, the "married state" will always be in a condition of "unstable equilibrium." So let every bride and bridegroom begin, from the first, to try to establish the greatly to be desired accomplishment. If anything further on this point should be desired, consult a reliable physician.



VIII

THE ART OF LOVE

And still there is more to be said! Is it not written that "Art is long!" And the Art of Love is the longest of all arts, and the most difficult of all for its complete mastery and attainment!

It is a matter of misfortune, and yet one of not infrequent occurrence, that the sex organs of husband and wife are not well matched; and that trouble, sometimes of a most serious nature, results. When this condition is found to exist, it should be treated sanely and wisely, and the chances are many to one that the difficulty can be overcome, to the full satisfaction of both parties concerned.

In such cases, the mis-matching usually arises from the fact that the penis of the husband is too long for the vagina of the wife. This is very apt to be the case where the wife is of the "dumpy" sort, with a small mouth and short fingers, while the husband is "gangling," large mouthed and long fingered. These are facts that ought to be taken into account before marriage, and which should figure in determining whether the parties are "suited" to each other. They would be regarded in this way, too, if they were generally known, as they most surely are not. Here is another place where ignorance and "innocence" get in their work, and make trouble in married life!

In such a case as this, the too-long penis, when fully inserted in the too-short vagina, and especially when, at the orgasm, the two organs are crowded together vigorously, as the impulse of both parties demands they should be at this part of the act, the end of the penis is driven against the rear walls of the vagina, often furiously, thus stretching and straining the vaginal passage longitudinally, pressing against the womb unnaturally, and not infrequently pushing it out of place and sometimes rupturing the uterine tract seriously, hence causing all sorts of unfortunate and greatly-to-be-regretted results.

Because of such danger, the first meeting of the husband and wife should be accomplished with the utmost care, especially in the second part of the act, the first putting together of the organs. This is the only way of determining, in each case, how the organs will "fit," and happy are the parties thereto if such fit is found to be perfect!

But if it should turn out that there is a mismatching, of the nature just described, the conditions can be adjusted if the right means are used.

(Before telling this, however, it should be stated that the relative size of the sex organs can never be fully judged of by the size of the body of a man or a woman. Many a small man has an abnormally large and long penis, and many a little woman has a large vulva and a long vagina; and the reverse of all this is true, in the case of many men and women. These items in the count are among the things that can never be known with certainty except by actual trial, and this is not possible, as things are now.)

And so, if "mis-matching" is found to exist, in any given case, it can be provided for, in most cases as follows:

Instead of taking the position for coitus which has already been described—the woman on her back and the man over and above her—let this be done: Let the man lie on his left side, or partly on his left side and partly on his back, facing the woman, his left leg drawn up so that the thigh makes an angle of 45 degrees with the body, and the knee bent at about the same angle. Now let her, lying on her right side, mount into his arms, in this way: Let her place her right hip in the angle made by her husband's left thigh and his body, so that his left leg supports her hips, by being under them; put her right leg between his legs, throw her left leg over his right leg, put her right arm around his neck, and her left arm should be placed across his body under his right arm. His left arm should be placed around her waist from below, and his right arm left free to move over her body, as he may choose. Now in this position, the man's hips make a sort of saddle into which the woman "vaults" easily, naturally, and with the greatest of comfort; while the man, with his whole body supported by the bed, as he lies, will be perfectly comfortable, and can maintain the position much longer, without tiring, than he could were he over and above the woman, supporting himself by his elbows and knees, and with the woman's arms around his waist, lifting her body thereby, and thus adding her weight to his, all to be sustained by him. A moment's consideration will disclose the fact that this position has many points in its favor, beyond that of the man-superior form. The woman, in this position, is not wholly superior, but she is partly on her right side and partly on her belly. Her whole weight rests on her husband's body, but her weight does not tire him, as the bed below him easily supports them both.

Now, in this position, the sex organs are brought closely together and their union is easily accomplished. But see! It is now the woman, and not the man who has full control of such meeting, and so can regulate it to her liking, or needs. Her hips are perfectly free to move towards, or from, those of the man; and so she can determine just how much or how little of his penis shall enter her vagina! And if his penis is too long for her, she can accommodate her action to such fact!

As for the man, his satisfaction will be fully equal to, if not greater than it would be were he in the other position. The ease afforded to his body, and the fact that he need have no fear of hurting the woman, these things will be a delight to him, that is of real value, and which will make for his delectation as much as for that of the woman in his arms. The in-and-out motion is as easily performed in this position as in the other; and at the climax, the organs can be crowded together passionately, and still without hurting the woman. For she, being free to move, can so curve her hips that the pelvic bone, the mons veneris, as it is technically called, will receive the most of the pressure, and at the same time the angle which is thus made by the relative positions of the vagina and the penis will keep the latter from penetrating the vagina too far, and so will protect its rear walls and the womb from all danger of harm. The orgasm is just as perfect in this position as in the other. It is just as natural as the other position, and has only to be tried to be proved worthy.

And now one other point. (Curious how these details protract themselves. But there is no help for it. We must continue, now that we have begun.)

A very frequent cause of married unsatisfaction is the fact of the difference of time that it takes for the husband and wife to come to the climax, the orgasm. As has already been noted, the highest delight in the act comes when this climax is simultaneous, comes at exactly the same instant to both parties. But to bring this about is not easy in all cases, and hence what follows:

As a rule, women are slower in reaching the orgasm than are men. This is not always so, but it is generally the case. Some wives are so passionate that they will "spend" several times to their husbands' once! The author knows of a case where the wife will regularly experience the orgasm four or five times to her husband's once. She is a lovely wife and a highly accomplished woman, in no sense "fleshy" or "worldly minded." The situation is that her sex organs are exceedingly sensitive while those of her husband are the reverse, they are "timed" differently, that is all. The case is rare, and as a rule, women are "timed" slower than men.

Again, after a man has passed the orgasm it is, in most cases, impossible for him to continue the act, right then and there, and bring the woman to the climax, if she has not yet arrived, from the fact that, with the expulsion of the semen, usually detumescence of the penis at once takes place, and the organ is incapable of exciting the woman when in this condition. And so, if the husband "goes off" first, there is no possibility of the wife's reaching the climax at that embrace. This leaves her unsatisfied, all her sex organs congested, and the whole situation is unsatisfactory, in the extreme. On the other hand, if the wife comes to the orgasm first, her vulva and vagina detumesce but little and that very slowly, so that it is perfectly possible for the husband to continue his action, and come to the climax, even if his partner has already "spent."

Under these conditions it is easy to see that, where the wife is "keyed" or "timed" much slower than her husband, as is quite often the case, coitus is very liable to be a very one-sided affair, one in which the husband gets all the satisfaction, and the wife little or NONE—a most unfortunate status for both parties, but especially for the wife. The writer once knew a case where a husband and wife lived together to celebrate their golden wedding, and the wife never once experienced an orgasm, though the husband cohabited with her several times a month, during the most of their married life. There was no good reason why this should have been so, only that the husband was "quick in action" and the wife somewhat slow, and they had never synchronated their time differences. The dear old lady died at ninety, never having known a joy that, since her bridal night, she had wished for. Both the husband and wife were most excellent people. They simply didn't know! One was ignorant and the other innocent, and there you are again!

Now the thing to do, under such circumstances, is for the parties to "get together." And the way to do this is, first, to prolong the FIRST part of the act, till the wife has not only caught up with, but is even ahead of her husband in the state of her passion. To bring about this condition, the husband should use every means to stimulate his wife's sex-nature and increase her desire for coition. Here are some things he can do, which will tend to produce such results:

A woman's breasts are directly connected with all her reproductive nerves. This is especially true of her nipples. To touch them is to directly excite all of her sex organs. The lips and tongue are also thus nervously connected with these vital parts, and, so, if the husband will "play" with his wife's breasts, especially with her nipples, manipulating them with his fingers, or, better still, with his lips and tongue—at the same time, if he will stroke her vulva with his fingers, especially the clitoris, and if she will encourage him to do this, by holding her breast with one hand, shaking it about as her nipple is in her lover's lips; if, lying flat on her back, her husband at her right side, and with his left arm around her waist, she will spread her legs wide apart, thus opening the vulva to its utmost, and sway her hips, raising and lowering them betimes; and, since she has a free hand, if, with this, she will take her husband's penis with it and "play" with it as her lover plays with her vulva—if they will do this, the cases are rare in which passion will not grow in the wife to almost any desirable extent. Under such "courting," the parts will all enlarge, the pre-coital secretion will flow in abundance; and, in due course, all will be ready for the second part of the act. This part of coitus is, really, one of the most enjoyable of the entire performance.

If, perchance, the pre-coital secretion should be tardy in appearing on the part of the wife, so that the vulva is dry as the husband strokes it, let him moisten the part with saliva from his mouth. To do this, let him moisten his fingers from his mouth, and transfer this to the vulva, and then proceed with his stroking. This moistening the vulva with saliva may be repeated several times, if necessary, always until the flow of pre-coital fluid from the parts themselves renders any further moistening needless. The stroking of the dry vulva will do little toward the arousing of passion, or producing the pre-coital flow. But if the parts be moistened, as above directed, both these desired results will follow, except in very rare cases.

And let no one make the mistake of thinking that thus moistening the vulva with saliva is unseemly, or unsanitary. It is neither. On the contrary, it is nature's way of helping to perfection an act which, but for such timely assistance, might never be brought to a successful issue. As has already been noted, chemically, saliva and the pre-coital fluid are almost identical. They are both a natural secretion of a mucous membrane, are alkaline in reaction, their native purpose is lubrication, and, as a matter of fact, the saliva is as natural an application to the lips of the vulva as it is to the interior of the mouth or throat. Truth to tell, the practice of applying saliva to the genitals before coition is very general, so much so that it might almost be counted as instinctive. It is mentioned here only to remove any prejudice that might linger in the sophisticated mind of the reader. Such use of saliva is no more to be deprecated than its application in a hundred other ways, such as moistening the fingers to turn a leaf, of "licking" one's fingers after eating candy. Such use of this fluid from the mouth might be condemned by the "over-nice," but it is quite universally practiced, and it is neither unwholesome nor unsanitary.

It is sometimes recommended that some form of oil, as sweet oil or vaseline, be used as an unguent for anointing the parts before engaging in coitus, but this practice cannot be recommended. Oil is not a natural product of the parts to which it is applied, it is chemically unlike their secretions, and to smear the delicate organs with a fluid that is foreign to their nature, is unwise, unsanitary, not to say filthy. It is like greasing the mouth to make food slip down easily. And it is easy to understand how such application of an unguent to the mouth would impair the taste, dull the nerves of sensation, and greatly interfere with the native and wholesome uses of the oral cavity.

So don't be afraid or ashamed to use saliva in preparing the vulva and the vagina for the reception of their natural mate.

And so, to return to where we left off, if the wife is slower timed than her husband, her passion can be greatly increased by the manipulation just described. Indeed, it could be very easily carried to such length—the lips and tongue playing with the nipple, and the finger-stroking of the vulva—that the woman could be brought to an orgasm without the union of the organs at all! This is a form of masturbation (this word has a bad meaning attached to it, but it is a good word, as will shortly be shown, and it has its legitimate uses; but, as a preparation for coition, it should not be carried any further than is essential for bringing the laggard passion of the woman up to an equal tension of that of her lover.) A few weeks', or months', practice will enable a wife to determine just how much of this form of "courting" will bring her to the desired point of excitement; and, when this point is reached, she should invite her husband to "come up over," if the first position is to be adopted for the rest of the act; or, she should throw herself into her lover's arms, if the second position is used.

Just a little more—If, after getting into one position or the other, it seems to the wife that she is not yet fairly abreast of her husband in the intensity of her passion, let her still further seek to advance it, as follows:

If the position with the husband superior is taken, let him, after he has gotten into place and before the organs are united, have his wife take his penis in her hand, and, as he moves his hips up and down, stroke her vulva, especially the clitoris, with the glans penis—not entering the vagina at once, but continuing this form of exterior contact of the organs, for a longer or shorter time—slipping past the wide open vaginal mouth, even when the wife raises her thighs and, as it were, begs for an entrance; tantalizing her to the point of distraction—till, finally, she will "take no for an answer" no longer, but will, in an ecstacy, slip the penis into the vagina, and thus consummate their union.

If she be far enough abandoned with her passion, such entrance may be made at a single stroke, not to say a furious plunge. But if the vulva and vagina are not yet fully dilated, the entrance should be carefully made, gently made, as she can bear it, as she wishes it to be.

Sometimes, yes, not infrequently, in this position, the external stroking of the organs may be continued to the very verge of the orgasm, so that, especially if the entrance can be made, as it were, in a frenzy of passionate delight, the organs coming into full length union at a single impulse, or rushing together—then the simultaneous climax may be reached with one or two in-and-out motions—or, perhaps the single master-plunge may win the goal instanter! If so, a consummation devoutly to be wished has been successfully reached!

Again, if the wife is slow, and the man is quick, in this play for "getting together," it will enable the man to greatly extend and protract what might be called the time of his possible retention, if he can keep the foreskin over the glans penis. Some men cannot do this. If they have been circumcised, of course they cannot! But if the glans penis can be covered with the foreskin during all this playing together, it will enable the husband to prolong his "retentional time" far beyond what he otherwise could. Some men have the power of "retaining" to almost any length of time by the exercise of their will power, and so they can wait for their wives. If the wife is slower timed than the husband, he should carefully cultivate the "art of retaining" and so wait for her. To do this successfully will greatly increase married happiness.

This same remark (keeping the gland covered) applies with equal force to the possibilities of the man's retention after the organs are united, and all through the third part of the act. If the penis can enter the vagina with its "natural cap on," the husband can give his wife the pleasure of many times the amount of in-and-out motion than he could otherwise bestow upon her. And if the wife is the slower of the two (as is generally the case) she will greatly appreciate such a favor, and will repay it a THOUSAND FOLD by the responsive, reciprocal motions which she will LAVISH upon her considerate lover.

This is an item of almost supreme importance—this "keeping the cap on" the penis, during the act, if the wife is slower than the husband—if they need to have a care, to insure their "getting off together."

And here is a curious fact, which would seem to show that Mother Nature has especially provided a blissful reward for both the husband and wife who will be careful on this point. Thus, if the husband will be careful to have the glans penis covered with the foreskin (and, of course, this can never be, if the organs are united when the vulva and vagina are dry) when it enters the vagina, and will so engage in the in-and-out motion that it will stay covered as the third act progresses—if this is done, when the climax comes, if the two "spend together," the womb will open its mouth as it were, clasp the foreskin, slip it back over the gland so that, when the supreme instant comes, the naked gland will be in the most direct and blissful contact with the most sensitive part of the uterus! This is a most wonderful provision of nature, and to utilize it, and enjoy it to its utmost, is the maximum of human delight!

Again, if after the organs are well together, in the man-superior position, and the in-and-out motion has begun, it should be found that the wife is still behind in the game, she can gain greatly in "catching up" if she is permitted to originate the larger part of the motion. To enable her to do this, let her husband hold his body quite well above her, so that she can have plenty of freedom to move her hips as she may choose to. Added to this, if the husband will, in large measure, "hold still," and keep his penis in such position that it presses against the upper part of the vulva, that is against the clitoris, (as the phrase goes, if he will "ride high") and then permit his wife to make "long strokes," sliding the organs together for their full possible length, with the clitoris in constant contact with the penis, during the whole of each stroke—all of this will greatly and rapidly increase her passions and bring her to the climax.

Or, as a variation from this, if the organs can be united to their fullest possible limit, so that the base of the penis presses firmly against the Mons Veneris, and the clitoris and labiae almost clasp their mate; and then, in this position, if the husband will maintain the status quo, while she lifts her hips hard against his, and swings them about, in a sort of circular motion "round and round," as it were—this will also greatly increase her passion, and soon bring her to the climax.

In both these last described ways of courting, the husband should be extra careful not to permit the weight of his body to press down heavily upon his wife. He should wholly sustain himself on his elbows and knees, and permit her to lift herself, at least her hips, by the help of her arms around his waist. This is no hardship for the husband, if he be a true lover. For is he not strong, and what is his strength for but to delight his sweetheart? A true, devoted, virile and manly lover is always at the service of his sweetheart! To delight her, is to doubly delight himself. This is another point of which mere animals know nothing. There is nothing in all their nature which responds to the like of this, in any way. The whole experience is human; it is productive of a joy, of a spiritual elevation, which mere animality knows nothing of—can know nothing of.

Playing thus together, courting each other thus (For, through all these actions, a line of complete mutualness must run! The husband may seem to be specially accommodating himself, and all he does, to his wife's whims or necessities; but, even so, this will be more of a delight to him than it is to her, viewed from the spiritual plane, on the principle that "it is more blessed to give than to receive"—and no truer words than these were ever spoken—while, at the same time, the wife, though seeming only to be gratifying herself, to be reaching after what she alone desires, yet, as a matter of fact, by her very so doing—and the more perfectly, completely, she does this, the better—she is gratifying and delighting her husband to the utmost possible limit) courting each other thus, the lovers will learn to "time" themselves together, perfectly, each knowing just when the other is fully ready, by a sort of spiritual consciousness, as it were, and so a perfect climax can be reached.

Take time, LET LOVE RULE AND DIRECT; BANISH ALL SELFISHNESS; Let the husband keep his head, and THE WIFE UTTERLY LOSE HERS, throwing it to the winds, to be wholly swept away by the whirlwind of her passion; feeling free, delighting, to let it go, go, go, no one cares where! Do these things, and married life will be glorious! Of such is the kingdom of heaven, for the truly wedded lovers!

This will be "all Greek," or "foolishness" to the selfish and materially-minded; but to the truly wise, it will be life immeasurable. This is a paradox, but it takes a paradox to tell the greatest truths!

So much for the act of coitus in the man-superior position, when the wife is slower timed than the husband and they adopt this method, and the accompanying means for "getting together." Now, if the other position is taken, that of the wife semi-superior, in the husband's arms, as he lies partly on his back and partly on his left side, etc., here are a few points to be noted to advantage.

Still assuming that the wife is the slower-timed of the two, it is entirely possible that when she has "come over" and has gotten into position, that she may not yet be fully ready for the union of the organs. The very time that it takes for her to get into position, the changing of the position of her body, from her back to her right side; the temporary cessation of the stroking of the vulva by her husbands's [sic] fingers; all these things will have a tendency to retard her passion, for the time being, and all this loss ought to be made good, if not added to, before the second part of the act is entered upon. And, in this position, all this can most happily be brought about, as follows:—

Lying in each other's arms, in this second described position, the organs naturally come into contact in such a way as to make the further excitation of the vulva and clitoris most natural and easy. The spreading of the wife's hips, caused by her throwing her left leg over her husband's right and drawing up of her left knee, opens the vulva wide; and, at the same time, the penis, from the very nature of its position, will lie at full length in the opening, thus exposed—not entering the vagina, but remaining "without the gate" as yet.

By this time the vulva will have become enlarged and elongated, the lips full and the clitoris erect, all in a state of tumescence, and all covered with the pre-coital fluid; the lips so distended that, when thus parted, they form the sides of a labial canal, as it were (a delectable, and most delicately smooth-walled channel). Now, in this extended condition, which is fully as long as the penis, from end to end of its pathway of dalliance, every part covered with the most delicately sensitive nerve-filaments, and all of these in an ecstasy of keenness to the sense of touch, and in the most perfect of "love's strolling way,"—if the penis, as it were, stands up full and strong, in such fashion that it touches the vulva at every point, both inner and outer labiae, the clitoris and all, for a space of five or six inches in length; while the protruded and well-moistened lips of the vulva as it were reach out, and clasp themselves at least half way around their suitor, laving him with their luscious kisses—in this position, the wife being partly above, and so, perfectly free to move her "love way" as she will, she can slide the pathway itself a full six or more inches, up and down, stroking all the area against the penis as she moves; that, again, by its very position, being held firmly in contact by its stiffness and stoutness; the glans penis throbbing lustily against the clitoris when the two meet at the extreme of the wife's up-stroke; she, pausing an instant, just then, to more perfectly enjoy the sensation; the penis slipping past the now wide open vaginal mouth, which reaches out at every down stroke to engulf it—dallying, delaying, coquetting, tantalizing, both man and woman; playing the game in almost a swoon of ecstatic delight—under such conditions the wife's passion will rush to its fullest development, till, when she will, she can drop her vagina upon the penis in such a way that the two will be made one, in absolute perfection, on a single move, and from this to the finish it is but a few motions distant.

In some respects this manner of coitus, and this means of "going off together" is unsurpassed.

Which leads to the remark that this position is sometimes the best for the full completion of the act. It is the easiest of all positions, the least fatiguing. And if the wife is tired, or not quite "up to grade," she can enjoy an embrace of this sort without fatigue, even to the full. For the organs can be united in this position quite perfectly, though the penis will not penetrate the vagina to as great a length as in the other position. Still, the climax can be perfectly reached in this way, and it is one of the best ways to make sure of perfect "timing," of "spending" exactly together, which is greatly in its favor.

If there is a mis-matching of the organs, the vagina of the wife being too short for her husband's penis, this is a most excellent way for meeting and overcoming that difficulty.

This naturally leads to another matter, as follows:—It might seem to the reader that the different "strokings" of the vulva, with the fingers, or the penis, all the contact being outside the vagina, that all of these methods of excitation smack of masturbation, and so are of doubtful rightness. In reply to which, note the following:

The entire affair of coition, in humanity, has already been shown to be something wholly above and beyond mere animality. It is the exercise of functions that belong only to mankind, and hence is not amenable to any merely animal laws or restrictions! It is the source of numberless human joys, and any method of engaging in the act of mutual delight, that is, of mutually happifying, is legitimate and altogether right. And so, if the parties choose to increase their mutual delight, if the husband wishes to arouse and intensify his wife's passion by stroking her vulva with his saliva-moistened fingers, and she wishes him to do so, such act is as right and as wholesome as is coitus in the by-some-supposed-to-be only way of its exercise. Let this never be doubted.

The fact is, this whole matter of sexual excitation by means of the hand, or in other ways than the union of the organs, has received a black eye at the hands of would be purists, which it in no way deserves. As already noted, the word masturbation has been fastened to such acts, and then, any and every form of it has been condemned far beyond what the facts warrant, till the minds of the rank and file are wholly misled in the premises! When one looks at the situation from the point of view which insists that all the sex functions should be under the control of the will, then light is thrown upon the entire subject. Seen in this way, any form of sex stimulation, or auto-erotism even (auto-erotism means self sex-excitation) which is NOT CARRIED TO EXCESS, is right and wholesome! But we have been taught the contrary of this for so long that it is difficult for us to realize that it is true. But it is!

Hence, if it should sometimes happen that the husband should arrive at the climax before the wife does, and he could not bring her to an orgasm by excitation with his spent penis, it would be perfectly right for him to substitute his fingers, and satisfy her in that way. Of course, this would not be as satisfying to her as it would have been could she have met him simultaneously, but it is far better than for her not to be entirely gratified! Many a woman SUFFERS ALL NIGHT LONG with unsatisfied desire, her organs congested and tumescent, because she has been left UNSATISFIED by a husband who has spent before she was ready, AND THEN LEFT HER! Such cases might be entirely relieved, if the parties knew the truth, and were not too ignorant, or prejudiced, or ashamed to do what should be done to make the best of a situation.

Of course, no husband should make a practice of gratifying himself fully, and then bringing his wife to the climax with his fingers. Such a practice would be selfish and wrong. But as an emergency way of escape, the method is to be commended.

Of course, as has already been explained, the husband always has the advantage, that he can be brought to the orgasm by the insertion of the penis into the vagina, after his wife has spent, if she arrives first, since her organs detumesce slowly, and their distended condition permits such action on his part, for some time after she has passed the climax. But not so with the husband. Once spent, his penis shrinks to limpness, almost immediately, and in this condition it cannot satisfy the wife in the least, much less bring her to an orgasm.

Again, if, for any reason, the wife should be unable to meet her husband in coitus proper, because of weakness, or slight illness, or perhaps some temporary soreness of the parts, it would help the situation wonderfully if she would take his penis in her hand and "play with it" till he spent. He would love her for it, kiss her for it, give her his soul for it!

If a bride and bridegroom knew enough to introduce each other to the delights of an orgasm by "spending" each other by external excitation of the organs with their hands a few times before they united the organs at all, it would be to their lasting well being. This is especially true for the bride. If her lover would take her in his arms, even with all her clothes on, as she sat on his lap, in their bridal chamber, alone, and stroke her vulva till she "spent," the chances are many to one that he would have introduced her to such a joy that she would never forget it, all her life. Surely, such method is infinitely superior to raping a bride, as is so frequently done by the ignorant or goody-good young husband, who "stands upon his rights!"

Indeed, if a bride to be, who was so innocent or ignorant of her own sex possibilities that she had never experienced an orgasm—had never "spent"—could be "put wise" before her bridal-night, if she could be instructed enough to lead her to engage in some form of auto-erotism, bringing herself to an orgasm with her own hand, just for the sake of the experience it would give her, and so that she would have some clear idea of what she really wanted, before she went into the arms of her lover—if she could do this, in the right mental attitude, it would be greatly to her well-being, a worthy and valuable addition to her stock of knowledge of herself and of the powers that are latent within her. Her alleged loss of innocence by such act would be as nothing compared with the wisdom she would gain by the experience. When innocence leads to harmful results, it is time it was ended, and that knowledge takes its place!

As for the husband, the chances are not one in a million that he will be ignorant of what an orgasm is like before he marries, since all healthy young men "spend" at least once a week, automatically, if not otherwise!

Let it be said further, that auto-erotism, self-spending, may be practiced by both men and women, to their healthful benefit, when sexual exercise cannot be secured in any other way. It is only when carried to excess that such action is in any way harmful. The only danger is, that, the individual being alone and having all the means for self-gratification in his or her own hands, so to speak, it is quite possible to indulge in the action too freely, which, of course, leads to bad results. But the act itself is not bad. On the contrary, when kept within bounds, it is healthful and wholesome.