And I sez, "What duz he want of a yearlin' steer here in the midst of a genteel fashion resort?"

And he snapped me up and said he didn't know as there wuz anything onfashionable or ongenteel about a likely yearlin'. Sez he, "I'll bet they'd take it at Coney Island."

"Well, what would he do with it here?" sez I.

"Why, do as I do with it; let it grow up and make clear gain on its growth."

"Oh shaw!" sez I, "he couldn't have it bellerin' round amongst the gay and fashionable throng."

"It wouldn't beller," sez he, "if he fed it enough."

I broke it up after a long talk, for I wouldn't let him demean himself by askin' the question and bein' refused, and then he said he wuz goin' to ask him if he would take white beans for his pay, or part of it, or mebby, sez he, "he would like to take a few geese."

"Geese!" sez I, "what would they want with geese squawkin' round here?"

"Why," sez he, "you know they would look handsome swimmin' round in the water in front of the hotel. And he might gin out, if he wuz a mind to, that they wuz a new kind of swans; they do such things at Coney Island."

Sez I, "Are you a deacon or are you not? Are you a pillow in the meetin' house or hain't you a pillow?"

"I didn't say he had got to do thus and so, I said he might if he wanted to."

Sez I, "You keep your geese and pray to not be led into temptation." And then the truth come out, he hated the geese and wanted to git rid of 'em. Men always hate to keep geese, it is one of their ways, though they love soft pillows and cushions as well as wimmen do, or better, it is one of their curious ways to love the effects of geese dearly and hate the cause and demean it.

Well, by givin' up the best part of the forenoon to the job I ground him down onto not tryin' to dicker with any barter, but to walk up like a man and pay for our two boards. Faith is real well off and kinder independent sperited, and I knew she wouldn't let us pay for hern, and at last we got a good comfortable room for ourselves and one for Faith, not fur from ourn. Both on 'em looked out onto the beautiful river, and I had lots of emotions as I looked out on it, although they didn't rise up so fur as they would, if I hadn't had such a tussel with my pardner, so true it is that chains of cumberin' cares and Josiahs drag down the aspirin' soul-wings for the time bein'. But I laid out to take sights of comfort in more tranquil and less dickerin' times, in lookin' out on the beauty and glory of the waters, and fur off, into the beautiful distance lit with the mornin's rosy light, and "sunset and evenin' star."

We sot off on the afternoon boat for Clayton. Faith seemed real glad to see us and we visey versey. And it wuz a joy to me to see her admiration of the Islands as we swep' by 'em and round 'em on our way to the Park.

We got back in time to git ready for supper in pretty good sperits; the dinin' room wuz large and clean and pleasant, the waiters doin' all they could for us, and we had a good supper and enough on't. And speakin' of the waiters, most of 'em wuz nice boys and girls, tryin' to git an education; some on 'em had been to college and wanted to earn a little more money to finish their education, and some wuz learnin' music and wanted more money to go on with their lessons—good plan, I think—they will be as likely agin to succeed as if they wuz sot down and waited on. It is a good thing, as the Bible sez, "to bear the yoke in your youth," and though I spoze the yoke weighed down considerable heavy on 'em, specially on excursion days, and when there wuz folks hard to please, yet I thought they will come out all right in the end.

Some on 'em wuz studyin' for the ministry, and I thought they would git a real lot of patience and other Christian virtues laid up agin the time of need. Though here, as in every other walk of life, there wuz some that wuz careless and slack.

But to resoom forwards. I see at the table there wuz the usual summer tourists round me, care-worn fathers and weary dyspeptic mothers with two or three flighty, over-dressed daughters, and a bashful, pale son or two, and anon a lady with a waist drawed in to that extent that you wondered where her vital organs wuz. And how could any live creeter brook the agony them long steel cossets wuz dealin' the wearer? You could see this agony in the dull eyes, pale face and wan holler cheeks wearin' the hectic flush of red paint. And the little pinted shues, with heels sot in the very center of the nerves, ready to bring on prostration, and blindness.

Right by that agonized female would be a real lady. English, mebby, with a waist the size the Lord give and Fashion had not taken away. With good, sensible shues on, dealin' out comfort to the amiable feelin' feet; rosy cheeks, bright eyes, all bearin' witness to the joys of sensible dressin' and sensible livin'.

And then there wuz bright pert-lookin' young wimmen, travelin' alone in pairs, and havin' a good time to all human appearance. Anon good-lookin', manly men, with sweet pretty wives and a roguish, rosy little child or so. Sad lookin' widder wimmen, some in their weeds, but evidently lookin' through 'em. Anon a few single men with good-lookin' tanned faces, enjoyin' themselves round a table of their own, and talkin' and laughin' more'n considerable. Respectable, middle-aged couples, takin' their comfort with kinder pensive faces, and once in awhile a young girl as adorably sweet and pretty as only American girls can be at their best.

But on my nigh side, only a little ways acrost from us sot the ponderous man I remembered on my journey thither who wanted to be a fly. Furder and furder it seemed from amongst the possibles as he towered up sideways and seemed to dwarf all the men round him, though they wuz sizeable. And gittin' a better look at him, I could see that he had a broad red face, gray side whiskers and one eye. That one eye seemed to be bright blue, and he seemed to keep it on our table from the time we come in as long as we sat there.

That evenin' in the parlor he got introduced to us. Mr. Pomper, his name wuz, and we all used him well, though I didn't like "the cut of his jib," to use a nautical term which I consider appropriate at a watering-place.

But go where we would, that ponderous figger seemed to be near. At the table he sot, where that one eye shone on us as constant as the sun to the green earth. In our walks he would always set on the balcony to watch us go and welcome us back. And in the parlor we had to set under the rakin' fire of that blue luminary. And if we went on the boats he wuz there, and if we stayed to home there wuz he.

And at last a dretful conviction rousted up in me. It come the day we went the trip round the Islands. We enjoyed ourselves real well, until I discerned that huge figger settin' in a corner with that one eye watchin' our party as clost as a cat would watch a mouse. Can it be, sez I to myself, that that man has formed a attachment for me?

No, no, it cannot be, sez I to myself. And yet I knowed such things did occur in fashionable circles. Men with Mormon hearts hidden under Gentile exteriors wuz abroad in the land, and such things as I mistrusted blackened and mormonized the bosom of Mr. Pomper, did happen anon and oftener. And I methought if so, what must I do? Must I tell my beloved companion? Or must I, as the poet sez, "Let concealment, like a worm in the rug, feed on my damaged cheek?"

But thoughts of the quick, ardent temper of my beloved companion bade me relinquish the thought of confidin' in him. No, I dassent, for I knew that his weight wuz but small by the steelyards, and Mr. Pomper's size wuz elephantine, with probably muscles accordin'. No, I felt I must rely on myself. But the feelin's I felt nobody can tell. Thinks I, "It has come onto me jest what I have always read and scorfed at"; for I had always thought and said that no self-respectin' female need be inviggled unless she had encouraged the inviggler, or had a hand in the invigglin'. But alas! with no fault of my own, onless it wuz my oncommon good looks,—and of course them I couldn't help,—here I wuz the heroine of a one-eyed tragedy, for I felt that the smoulderin' fire burnin' in that solitary orb might bust forth at any time and engulf me and my pardner in a common doom.

But two things I felt I could do; I could put on a real lot of dignity, and could keep a eagle watch onto my beloved pardner, and if I see any sign of Mr. Pompers attacktin' him, or throwin' him overboard, I felt the strength of three wimmen would be gin to me, and I could save him or perish myself in the attempt. In accordance with them plans, when Mr. Pomper approached us bringin' us some easier chairs, I confronted him with a look that must have appauled his guilty mind, and when he sez to me:

"It is a pleasant day, mom."

I looked several daggers at him and some simiters, and never said a word. And when a short time afterwards he asked me what time of day it wuz, pretendin' his watch had stopped, I looked full and cold in his face for several minutes before I sez in icy axents, "I don't know!" Every word fallin' from my lips like ice-suckles from a ruff in a January thaw, and then I turned my back and went away from him.

Vain attempt! What wicked arts men do possess! He pretended to believe I wuz deef, and with that pretext he dasted to approach still nearer to me and kinder hollered out:

"What time of day is it?"

I see I must answer him, or make a still more sentimental and romantick seen, and I sez, with extreme frigidity and icy chill, "I don't know anything about it."



And then I turned on my heel and walked off. In such noble and prompt ways did I discourage all his overtoors, and every time I see him approach my pardner, if they wuz anywhere near the outer taff-rail of the boat, I would approach and lock arms with Josiah Allen, killin' two birds with one stun, for that act both ensured safety to my heart's idol, and also struck a blow onto Mr. Pomperses nefarious designs. He see plain that I idolized my pardner. Once or twice, so hardly is oncommon virtue rewarded in this world, Josiah spoke out snappishly:

"What duz ail you to-day, Samantha, lockin' arms with me all the time—it will make talk!" he whispered in a mad, impatient whisper, and he would kinder wiggle his arm to make me leggo'; but secure in my own cast-iron principles, I would hang on as long as Mr. Pomper wuz round.



CHAPTER SEVEN

IN WHICH JOSIAH PROPOSES TO DANCE AND MR. POMPER MAKES AN ADVANCE



CHAPTER SEVEN

IN WHICH JOSIAH PROPOSES TO DANCE AND MR. POMPER MAKES AN ADVANCE

The day wuz a tegus one to me, borne down as I wuz by the constrainin' atmosphere of a onwelcome and onlawful attachment. And it took all the principle I had by me to git up even a emotion of pity for the one-eyed watcher, whose only recreation seemin'ly durin' that long, long day wuz to watch our party as clost as any cat ever watched a rat hole, and to kinder hang round us. Faith kep' pretty clost to me all day and seemed to take a good deal of comfort watchin' the entrancin' scenery round us.

Oh what beautiful sights! What enchantin' views of the water; or, if the light struck it jest right, the long, blue, undilating plain, dotted with gold points of light. Islands with the virgin forest stretchin' down to the edge of the water, and cool green shadders layin' on the velvet and mossy sward as you could see as you looked into the green aisles. And all sorts of trees with different foliage, some loose and feathery, some with shinin' leaves, glitterin' where the rain had washed 'em the night before; some towerin' up towards the heavens, shakin' their heads at the sun; some droopin' down as if weighted with their wealth of branches and green leaves; anon a tree covered with flowers, and then some evergreens, and anon one that had ketched in its brilliant leaves the red hectic of autumn fever and blazed out in crimson and yeller. And then a hull lot of evergreens standin' up straight and tall by the water's edge, and as fur back as you could see, but sort o' reachin' out their green arms towards the river. And them on the edge, lookin' down into the clear depths and seein' there another island, a shadow island layin' beautiful and serene with nothin' disturbin' its beauty but the shinin' ripples wavin' the fairy branches below, like the soft wind rustlin' the tree tops overhead.

So we sailed on by hamlet and town, rounded tree-crowned promontores, swep' out into broader vistas stretchin' out like a lake, anon goin' by a big island lookin' like the shore of the mainland, goin' right up aginst it seemin'ly, as if the boat must strike it and git onto wheels and travel as a wagon if it calculated to proceed onwards at all. But jest as we would think in a nautical way: "Land ahoy! land ahoy! oh, heave out and walk afoot," jest as these nautical terms would be passin' through our alarmed foretops, the boat would turn its prow slowly but graceful, round to a port-the-helm, or starboard ditto, and we would glide out through a narrow way onbeknown to us, onto a long, glassy road layin' fair and serene ahead.

Then more islands, then more narrer channels, then more broad ones. By Fiddler's Elbow, named Heaven knows for what purpose, for no fiddle nor no elbow wuz in sight, nothin' but island and water and rock all crowned with green verdure. Mebby it dates back to the time we read of when the stars sung together, and if stars sing, why shouldn't islands dance, and if islands dance it stands to reason they must have a fiddle and one on 'em must fiddle. I do not say this is so, but throw out this scientific theory as one of singular interest to the antiquarian and historian of the Thousand Islands.

Anon we entered the Lost Channel, agin the antiquarian sperit is rousted up as we inquire, "When wuz it lost? and how long? And when wuz it found agin, and who found it?" Way back in the dawn of creation, did the dimplin' channel git kinder restive and try to run off by itself, and flow round and act? Or did the big leap down Niagara skair it so that it run away and never stopped runnin' until it got all confused and light-headed among these countless islands, and wandered away and got lost and by the side of itself?

Deep antiquarian conundrums; stern geological interests! In grapplin' with 'em I leaned over the taff-rail of the boat and looked way down into the blue green depths, seekin' a answer. But the shinin' waves on top seemed to glitter mockin'ly and fur down, down in the green waves, there seemed to look back a sort of a pityin' gleam that said to me:

"Poor creeter! pass on with your little vague theories and conjectures; you don't know any more about me than the rest on 'em do, who have tried to write about me." I felt kinder took back and queer. So vain are we that we don't like to have our carefully constructed theories overthrown. But even as I mused, a voice said to the right of me—a woman talkin' to her little boy:

"The Lost Channel was named from the fact that durin' a war a large body of troops got lost here in the channel in the late autumn and could not find their way out, and was overtaken by the bitter cold and perished here."

Well, mebby if is so, I d'no. But I wuzn't knowin' to it myself, nor Josiah wuzn't. Well, onheedin' our facts or fancies, the river bore us onwards on its breast. Past high green boulders risin' up from the water with nothin' on 'em, not even a tree; jest gray rock lookin' some like a geni's castle frownin' down onto the intruders into their realm. Then anon a pile of high gray rocks crowned as the Sammist sez "with livin' green." Then in a minute more a little landlocked bay with placid water sweepin' back into a pretty harbor, tree shaded, and mebby a boat anchored there like a soul at rest, or mebby a sail-boat with two young hearts in it driftin' down the sea of their content, as the tiny waves rippled round their oars. Then a grand big mansion lookin' down onto us kinder superciliously. Then a small, pretty farm house with snug outbuildings, a man lookin' at us from the open barn door, and some children playin' round the doorstep. Then a big island with grassy shores or wooded depths; then a tiny island, not too big for a child's playhouse, and some that wuz only a bit of rock peekin' out of the water.

And fur off all the time when we could see it wuz the blue hazy distance full of beauty; ever-changin' glimpses of loveliness, givin' place to new beauties. Fur off, fur off sometimes we could see distant pinnacles and towers, all bathed in the blue shinin' mist. And as the rapt eyes of our Fancy gazed on 'em, they might have been the towers of the New Jerusalem, the Golden city, so dreamlike, so inexpressibly lovely did they seem faintly photographed aginst the soft blue distant heavens.

But cold Reality said in her chillin' practical whisper, "It's nothin' but Gananoque or Clayton," and she went on, "They hain't anything like the New Jerusalem, either of them."

Alas for us poor mortals! who drive or are driv by the two contendin' coharts of Imagination, Idealized Fancy and practical Reality. And she always will have the last word, Reality will, and her voice is loud and shrill, and it penetrates into the warm, sweet Indian summer air, where Fancy dwells and where we sometimes visit her for brief intervals. Too brief! too brief! for cold Reality is always hangin' round; she is always up and dressed ready to put in her note.

I mentioned the metafor to Josiah and he sez, "Yes, it minds me of the man who was brought up before the judge by his wife. She complained he hadn't spoke to her for five years. The judge ast him if that were so, and he said, 'Yes, that's so.' 'But why,' sez the judge, 'why hain't you spoke to your wife for five years?' And the man sez, 'Because I didn't want to interrupt her.'" Josiah declares it is true, but I believe it is jest a slur on wimmen.

But to resoom. Swiftly, silently we sped on with the islands about us, the blue sky overhead and the shadow islands below. And innumerable boats appeared far and near, some with white sails lifted, and followed below by a white shadow sail, and anon a big steamer would glide along, loaded down to its gunwale with crowds of gay pleasure seekers, who would wave their snowy handkerchiefs and salute us, the steamer backin' 'em with its deep grum voice. Or anon we could see a big dark barge sailin' along, and Fancy would whisper to us as we gazed on its mysterious dark sides without a soul in sight:

"It may be the phantom of some old Pirate ship, condemned for its sins to cruise along forever in strange waters, homesick for its native seas." But Reality spoke right up jest as she always will and said it wuz probable some big lake steamer heavy loaded with grain or some great Canadian boat. And then a new seen of beauty would drift into our vision and take our minds off and carry 'em away some distance. Oh, it is no wonder that Faith's soft eyes grew more tender and luminous.

Josiah felt the beauty of the seen, he felt it deeply, but everybody knows that beauty affects folks differently, it always seems to sharpen up my dear companion's appetite, and three cookies in as many minutes wuz offered up on the shrine of his vivid appreciation, and two nut cakes.

We got back to our hotel, the sun about an hour high. Jest before our bark swep' into the haven, and while Josiah and Faith had crossed over to the opposite side of our bark, I hearn a voice on the off quarter windward, and I turned round and see to my dismay that it wuz Mr. Pomper. He sez to me in a low voice, while his looks spoke volumes of yellow colored literatoor: "I wish to speak a few words to you alone, mum. Can you give me the opportunity?"

I looked him full in that eye of hisen, a hauty cold look, a look as much as 40 degrees below freeze, and said nothin' else but jest that look.

"I have somethin' very important to say to you. Can you hear me?"

Words wuz risin' to my tongue that would wither him forever, and end the vile persecutions I wuz undergoin', when before I could speak the gang plank wuz charged back agin Mr. Pomper's foot in a way that made him leap back like a sportive elephant, and for the moment I wuz free. But as I wended my pensive way up to the hotel, I made up my mind that if he ever approached me agin I would plainly tell him what wuz what, and so end my purturbations of mind; for I felt if it wuz to go on much longer I should lose a pound of flesh, and mebby a pound and a half, in the stiddy wearin' persecution I wuz undergoin'. And that night at dinner as I ketched the light smoulderin' in that lonely orb, as it wuz bent on our table, and the corner in parlor and piazza where we wuz ensconced, I wondered anew what wuz the attractions that kep' Mr. Pomper so stiddy at my shrine, And I got so that I almost hated the good looks that wuz ondoin' him and me too. And I looked into the glass dreamily as I wadded up my back hair and did up the front, and pinned my cameo pin onto my rich cotton and wool parmetty, and wondered if it wuzn't my duty to leave off that pin, and change that parmetty for calico, and sort o' frowzle up my hair onbecomingly in order to wean him from me. But alas! my principles did not seem able to git up onto that bite, so weak are we poor mortals after all our aspirin' efforts.

One curious thing I have ever noticed among men (and wimmen too) and that is the ease and facility with which they will slip out of statements and idees they have promulgated, and turn around in their tracts as easy and graceful as a dummy before a show case. Now there wuz a party to be gin to the hotel for a charitable purpose, each man and woman present givin' 25 cents, and then havin' a social time afterwards, and as the object wuz good I sez to my pardner, "I would like to attend to it." And he acted fairly skairt and horrow struck at the idee and went on eloquent about old folks at our ages, and with our professions, and our rumatiz, follerin' up gayety and show. Sez he, "The place for us evenin's is in our own room readin' our Bibles and Tracks."

And I sez as I calmly wadded up my back hair and smoothed my foretop, "Well, I spoze I can go alone if you feel so."

Then another thought seemed to roust him up; Jealousy seemed to strike her sharp prongs into his slender side, and he sez bitterly, "Yes, goin' down alone into a perfect mawlstrom of men flirtin' and actin'!"

"The mawlstrom won't hurt me," sez I, "I hain't goin' nigh it." But even as I spoke I thought of Mr. Pomper, and sez to myself, Can I help him from comin' nigh me? And as if in answer to my onspoken thoughts my pardner sez:

"Mawlstroms will draw anybody in onbeknown to them; they're deadly dangerous!" And I see him gin a kin' of a shiver. I wuz touched to the heart by the thought of his devotion, and as I fastened my cameo pin more firmly into the rich folds of parmetty at my neck, I sez:

"Dear Josiah, I don't know but you're right. I feel as though I want you near me to protect me." That melted his heart, but alas, did not affect his pocket book, and he sez, "I would go down with you in a minute, Samantha, but jest consider on the 50 cents we would spend there, how much comfort that would bring to some lonely widder, mebby a blind woman, who is a-hunger and ye fed her not."

I looked stiddy at him and sez I, "Josiah Allen, will that poor widder git that fifty cents?"

He answered evasive, and I went on, "It is easy to make the excuse that the money you are asked for in charity will do so much more good somewhere else, but," sez I sternly, "the money don't git there, and you know it." He still kep' his hand in his pocket round that pocket book I believe, whilst he took a new tact: "The air, Samantha, in that room will be stiflin', and if I should take you into that place and you should stifle, I should die away myself, I couldn't live a minute without you, dear Samantha," sez he.

Well, my tizik wuz pretty bad in crowded places and suffice it to say, that though his arguments didn't convince me, they sort o' overpowered me for the time bein', and we stayed in our own room.

Now to show the facility with which folks will turn right round and revolve, I will tell how Josiah seemin'ly forgot mawlstroms, bad air, rumatiz, ages, meetin' housen, principles, etc., and turned right round on the pivot of his inclination. A day or two after he heard down in the office about the dancin' parties they had in the parlor anon or oftener, and he come up into our room enthused with the idee and wanted to branch out and go that night, and I sez:

"What about mawlstroms and gayety, Josiah Allen?"

"Oh," he sez, "I shall be there to protect you, Samantha, no mawlstrom can draw you in and destroy you, whilst I have a drop of blood left in my veins! I'll protect you here, and I'd protect you at Coney Island," sez he—(that idee never left his mind I believe).

"What about the bad air?" sez I.

"Oh the winder will probable be open, and you can take your turkey feather fan with you." And then I dropped my half jocular tone and sez in deadly earnest:

"Be I leanin' on a Methodist pillow or be I not? Have I a deacon by my side or haven't I?"

But Josiah seemed calm and even gay sperited under my two reproachful orbs that poured their search lights into his very soul, and he sez:

"From all I hear it hain't a wicked dance at all, but jest a pretty dancin' party down in the parlor, jined in by men and wimmen and their children and mebby their grand-children, and it is always so sweet," sez he, "to see a man and his grand-children dancin' together. Oh, if Delight wuz only here!" sez he.

I riz up and sez in almost heart breakin' axents:

"Josiah Allen, be you a thinkin' of dancin' yourself?"

"No," sez he, "no, Samantha, I jest want to look on a spell, that's all."

But there wuz a look in his eyes that I hated to see, for I had seen it many times in the past, and it had always foreboded trials to me and humiliation to my pardner. How queer human critters be! what strange and mysterious tacts they will git on and how they will foller up them tacts and fads of theirn. But I d'no as human critters are any worse about follerin' up their tacts and fads and follerin' 'em blind, than old Mom Nater is. Now who hain't noticed her queer moods and how prolonged they be, and how sudden and onexpected they will come onto her? When she takes it into her head to have a pleasant spell of weather, how she'll foller it up, clear skies, pleasant days and nights for weeks and weeks. And if she takes it into her head to have it rain, how she will keep the skies drippin' right along for most all summer. And then when she has a dry spell, how dry she is! no matter how much the dwindlin' creeks and empty wells and springs complain, she has got to carry out her own idees till she gits ready to change.

Josiah Allen, since I had been his pardner had took many a fad into his old head, which he had carried out as only Nater or a man can carry 'em, onreasonable, mysterious, out of season, but bound to let 'em run. Sometimes in the past it had been a desire for singin' base that had laid holt on him, base in every sense the word can be used. Then agin he had painful and prolonged spells of wantin' to be genteel and fashionable, then anon political ambition had rousted up his rusty old faculties and for months and months Coney Island had been his theme, and wuz now, and so on through a long roll of characters he had desired to play in the drama of life.

But dancin'! never did I expect to see that man with his age and his profession and his achin' old bones, wantin' to dance. But so it wuz, as will be seen in the follerin' pages. Queer as a dog folks are on this planet, and I d'no but the Marites and Jupiters and Saturnses are jest as queer. But to quit eppisodin' and resoom forwards agin.

I have always found that it hain't best to draw the matrimonial rope too tight round your pardner's jungular veins. I see he wuz sot on goin' and I felt I would ruther he would go with me who could have some savin' control over him, than to have him git reckless and sally off alone. So it wuz settled that we should go that night at early candle light. And Faith wuz to go with us. Yes, I, Josiah Allen's wife, had gin my consent to go to a dance. But jest so the environin' cord of circumstances gits us all wound up in its tangles time and agin. And as the way of poor weak mortals is, havin' made up my mind to go I tried to bring to mind all the mitigatin' circumstances I could. I thought of how the lambs capered on the hillside, how the leaves on the trees danced to the music of the south wind, and how even the motes swung round with each other in the sunlight. And then I thought of how David danced before the ark, and how Jeptha's daughter danced out to meet her father (to be sure she had her head took off for it, but I tried to not dwell on that side of the subject). And then I remembered how I did love music, and in spite of myself I felt kinder chirked up thinkin' I should enjoy quite a long spell on't. And thinkses I, if dancin' is a little mite off from the hite Methodists ort to stand on, music is the most heavenly thing we can lay holt of below, so I sort o' tried to even up them two peaks in my mind and lay a level onto 'em and try to make myself believe they struck about a fair plane of megumness, and shet my eyes to the idee that it slanted off some and wuz slippery.

Oh what weak creeters we be anyhow! Well, that night there wuz goin' to be a extra big party, and I wuz for startin' at once after supper, for truly I felt that I wuz performin' a hard and arjous job, and as my way is I wuz for tacklin' it to once and gittin' over it. Yes, I felt it wuz goin' to be a wearin' job to git Josiah Allen to that parlor durin' them festivities and back agin with no damage or scandal arisin' from the enterprise.

But Faith sez, "It will be too early, they won't begin to dance till eight. We eat at six." And I sez, "For the land's sake! if I'd got to dance I should begin early and stop early, so's to git a little rest." And she sez:

"Young folks don't think about that."

Well, we compromised on half past seven (most bed-time). And when Faith knocked at our door at that epoch of time we wuz all ready. Josiah had carefully combed his few locks of gray hair upwards over his bald head, had donned a sweet smilin' look, and a cravat, gayer fur than I approved of (he'd bought it durin' the day onbeknown to me). And I had arrayed my noble figger in my usual cotton and wool brown dress, brightened up at the neck and sleeves with snowy collar and cuffs, and further enriched by the large cameo pin. I also carried a turkey feather fan that harmonized in color with my dress. I looked exceedingly well and felt well.

And Faith, I sez proudly to myself, a sweeter face and prettier dress won't be seen there to-night. She did look lovely. Her soft eyes shone, her cheeks looked pinky, her hair, a sort of a golden brown with some gray in it, crinkled back from her white forward and wuz gathered in a loose knot on the top of her head with a high silver comb. Her dress wuz thin and white and gauzy, and though it wuz considerable plain it wuz made beautiful by the big bunch of pale pink roses at her belt and bosom, jest matchin' her cheeks in color.

I wuz proud of her. And I felt quite well about my other companion, for as I glanced at the small kerseymear figger and pert bald head, I sez to myself, "He makes a much better escort than none at all."



CHAPTER EIGHT

IN WHICH MR. POMPER DECLARES HIS INTENSHUNS AN' GIVES HIS VIEWS ON MATRIMONY



CHAPTER EIGHT

IN WHICH MR. POMPER DECLARES HIS INTENSHUNS AN' GIVES HIS VIEWS ON MATRIMONY

As our party sort o' swep' gracefully down into the hall, we thought we would step outdoors for a minute for a breath of fresh air. It looked gay and almost fairy-like out there. The two broad piazzas wuz all lit up with colored lights and baskets of posies hung down between 'em full of bloom, and the broad piazzas and wide flight of steps leadin' up to 'em wuz full of folks in bright array, walkin' and talkin' and laughin' makin' the seen more fair and picture-like. And in front wuz the long grassy lawn with its gay flower beds, and the long walk down to the wharf all sparklin' with lights, and beyend, in front of it all, lay the deep river, with its sighin' voice borne in on the stillness, jest as in the hearts of every one of that throng, way back beyend the gayety and sparklin' mirth lay the deep sea of their own inner life, with its melancholy hantin' memories, its sighin' complainin' voices, its deeps that nobody else could fathom.

And while we stood there, I wrapped in reverie and a gray zephyr shawl, a broad beam of light wuz cast from somewhere fur off, shinin' full and square first one side then the other side of the river. Nearer and nearer it seemed to be comin' towards us, and wherever that light fell a picture wuz brung quick as a flash of lightnin' out of the darkness.

It seemed some like the day of Judgment shinin' through the darkness of men's lives and bringin' out the hidden things. Way out in the distance where nothin' could be seen but blackness and shadows, the beam would fall and a island would stand out plain before us, houses with men and wimmen on the piazzas, a boat house, a boat with men and wimmen and children in it. You could see for one dazzlin' minute the color of their garments, and the motion of their hands and arms, then the sea of darkness would engulf 'em agin, and on the nigh side out of the darkness would shine out a vision of the shore with trees standin' up green and stately, and you could see the color of leaf and bough and almost the flutter of their leaves. A green lawn, rosy flower beds, a pretty cottage, faces at the windows, agin darkness swallowed it up, and broad and brilliant the great shaft of light lay on the blackness, and on the shinin' water fur ahead a boat stood out vivid. Its white sail shone, the young man at the helm with uplifted head wuz wavin' a greetin', the girl in the other end of the boat looked like a picture in her broad hat and white wrap, and beyend 'em and all round 'em, wuz little boats, and fur ahead a big steamer.

Anon it wuz turned sideways, and a dark mysterious craft wuz seen sailin' by mysteriously, one of the big lake vessels goin' I know not where. Anon a dazzlin' flash swep' right across us, bringin' Faith and me and my pardner out into almost blindin' relief, his bald head shinin' in the foreground, his cravat gleamin' almost blindin'ly, and with music and bright light shinin' from the cabin winders, and decks loaded with gay passengers, the Search Light Steamer swep' up to the wharf.

The ball had not yet arrove at its hite when we entered the festivious hall, so we readily found seats in a commogious corner. On one side on me wuz my pardner, on the off side sot Faith in her serene beauty. In front of me and on each side the gay crowd of dancers.

Pretty young girls arrayed in every color of the rain-bow. Handsome young men, ditto homely ones, little children as pretty as posies with their white dresses and white silk stockin's and slippers dancin' as gayly as any of the rest, all on 'em big and little, graceful and awkward, swingin', turnin', glidin' along, swingin', turnin', all keepin' time to the sweet swayin' tones of the music, music that seemed sometimes to bear my soul off some distance away and swing it round and dance with it a spell, and then whirl it back agin to the Present and Josiah. It wuz a queer time, but very riz up and enjoyable in spite of some little sharp twinges that come anon or oftener, which might have been conscience, but which I tried to lay off onto rumatiz.

Two wimmen wuz talkin' near us, sez one of 'em, "There he goes agin, see him prancin' round." And she motioned to a young chap I'd noticed who seemed to be the most indefatigable dancer in the hull lot, and his face wuz determined lookin', as if his hull life depended on gallopin' round the room, and as if he never wuz goin' to stop.

"See him," sez the woman, "that young man's father and grand-father would have swooned away if they'd thought that any of their kin would dance."

"Wuz they so good?" sez the other woman.

"No," wuz the reply, "they had all sorts of narrowness, sins and coniptions, but they thought dancin' wuz the wickedest thing ever done. This boy wuz brought up as strict as a he nun, and now see him prancin' round!"

And I spoke up and sez, "I hope he will prance off some of them hereditary sins, if he's got to prance." They looked round at me considerable cool and I said no more. But everybody wuzn't so clost mouthed, for pretty soon a old lady come and sot down in a chair by the side of me—Faith had moved a little back—and she sez:

"I want to dance; I love it dearly."

I looked up at her in amaze. Her cheeks wuz fell in. Her brow wuz yellered and furrowed with years, and though her dress wuz gay she couldn't conceal Time's ravages.

"Dance," sez I kinder dreamily and brow beat, "well, why don't you dance?"

Sez she, "I don't know any of the gentlemen here."

I felt a movement on my nigh side and see that Josiah wuz leanin' forward in deep interest, and thinkses I, he is sorry for her folly, he has a noble heart. Well, ere long she riz up and went out into the hall, and I mused on what I had so often mused on—how necessary it wuz for everybody to keep on their own forts—sixty years had fled since dancin' wuz her becomin' fort, now a rockin' chair and knittin' work wuz her nateral fort, but she didn't realize it.

Well, the dancin' kep' on, the music pealed out sweet peals, heavenly sweet, heavenly sad, and I wuz carried some distance away from myself and heeded not what wuz passin' by my side. Anon a dance come on that wuz called a German. In some of the figgers they seemed to be givin' presents to each other, and had these presents kinder strung onto 'em, same as savages ornament themselves with beads and things, though these wuz quite pretty lookin' and seemed made up of posies and ribbins and pretty little trinkets. And then the lights wuz lowered and I see a long line of figgers come glidin' in, keepin' step to the music, each one bearin' a pretty little colored lantern. And as I looked on my eyes wuz almost stunted and blinded by a sight I see. Who wuz the couple bringin' up the rear? Wuz it—it could not be—but yet it wuz my pardner, leadin' in the ancient dame, who wuz footin' it merrily on her old toes, or as merrily as she could, liable to fall down every step with rumatiz and old age. And what did my pardner bear in his hand!

That very day in goin' about the place he found in a store an old tin lantern, a relic of the past someone had left there to be sold. It wuz a lantern that used to be in vogue before Josiah Allen wuz born, a anteek tin lantern with holes in the sides, and one candle power. He had bought it greedily, sayin' it wuz jest like one his grandpa had when he wuz a child.

He had left it in the office, and had lit that lantern and wuz now hangin' along in the rear of that gay procession, with that mummy-like figger, a jest, a byword and a sneer, for laughter riz up round 'em and sneers follered 'em as they swep' onwards. As they come nigh me I riz up almost wildly and ketched holt of my pardner and sez I:

"Desist! Josiah Allen, stop to once!"

The aged female looked at me in surprise and feeble remonstrance, and sez she:

"Can it be that you're jealous?"



Even in that awful moment my powers of deep reasonin' didn't desert me and I said:

"If I wuz goin' to be jealous I wouldn't be of a animated mummy, or livin' skeleton!" And to my companion I sez, "Josiah Allen, if you don't set down here by me, I will part with you to once before the first Square or Justice I can ketch!"

He see determination on my eye-brow, and as they wuz in the extreme rear of the line, and it didn't break up nothin', I ketched the lantern out of his hand and blowed it out, and put it under his chair as he sot down in it. And then to her I sez with a almost frozen politeness:

"I'd advise you, mom, to soak your feet and go to bed."

She vanished. But to my pardner my voice lost that icy coldness and become het up with indignation, and I sez, "What tempted you, Josiah Allen, to make a perfect fool of yourself—a show for hollow worldlings to sneer at!"

"Fool!" sez he in bitter axents, "you call me that when I wuz strictly actin' out what you've always ordered me to do. You've always told me to be good to females, to put myself out and make a martyr of myself if necessary for their good. But it is the last time!" sez he bitterly, "the very last time I will ever have anything to do with your sect in any way, shape or manner. I get no thanks from you for anything I do, and the worm may jest as well turn first as last."

"Do you pretend to say, Josiah, that you did this to please me?"

"Yes mom, I do! I did it to please you, and to take that woman's part. You hearn her say she wanted to dance, but no man wuz forthcomin'."

"Dance!" sez I, "dance at ninety years old!"

"She hain't much more'n eighty," sez he, "I don't believe. But anyway, you won't git me into such a scrape agin. Your sect may be trod on for all that I care. They may set round till they grow to their chairs and be trompled down into the ground—and I jest as soon tromple on a few myself," sez he recklessly.

Oh dear me! what a mysterious curous trial pardners be more'n half the time! but still I feel that they pay after all.

Let him talk as he would I knew he wuz only carryin' out that fad to try to be genteel and fashionable, and oh how much trouble I've seen, from first to last, with that sperit in my pardner!

Well, we didn't stay down much longer. Faith had stepped out of the long winder behind us and wuz lookin' off onto the glorified river durin' this contrary temps, and as I glanced out of the winder to look for her I see the huge form of Mr. Pomper hoverin' in the foreground, and I sez to Josiah, "I think it is time to retire and go to bed."

And Faith bein' ready to go, we ascended to our rooms. As we passed one of the landin' places on the staircase where some chairs wuz placed, I see the ancient dame settin' and sarahuptishously rubbin' her ankle jints. She straightened up and looked kinder coquetishly at my pardner, but he swep' by her as if she wuz so much dirt under his feet. Truly he seemed to be carryin' out his plan of ignorin' my sect and passin' 'em by scornfully. I may see trouble with that sperit in him yet.

The next mornin' Josiah wanted Faith and I to go out with him fishin' and have a fish dinner, a sort of a picnic, on some island on the fishin' grounds. That's quite a fashionable entertainment. They fish till they git real hungry I spoze, and then the boatman puts into some sheltered cove, and the party goes on shore, builds a fire and cooks some of the fish they have got, and make coffee, and with the nice lunch they took from the hotel, they have a splendid dinner I spoze, and take sights of comfort.

Why lots of folks there would go out day after day early in the morning, and stay until night, and then would walk proudly in with a long string of fish, and would lay 'em on the desk in the office, and a admirin' crowd would gather round to look at 'em and wonder how much they weighed. Why wimmen and children would catch fish so big that it is a wonder they could draw 'em into the boat, and I spoze they did have help from the stronger sect (stronger arms I mean). And besides the fish I spoze they ketch happiness and health.

Well, Josiah wuz rampant to go. He said he wanted to surprise the crowd in the hotel and the hull of Well's Island with the fish he would git, and then I spoze the idee of the dinner wuz drawin' him onward. I brung up several arguments, such as the danger, fatigue, etc., but he stood firm. But I had one weepon left that seldom failed, and as a last resort I drawed that weepon, and he fell woonded to once. Sez I, "Do you have any idee, Josiah Allen, how much it is goin' to cost you?"

His linement fell. He hadn't thought on't. I see him silently draw a boatman into a corner and interview him, and I hearn no more about a fishin' picnic.

The very evenin' after this, Fate and Mr. Pomper gin me a chance to carry out the plan I'd laid out heretofore. Josiah had stepped over to the post office, and Faith had walked over with him at my request, for she had a headache, and I told him to walk down to the wharf with her and see if the cool air wouldn't do her good. So she had put a black lace scarf over her pretty golden hair and went off with him.

Well, there wuz big doin's at the Tabernacle that night, and it wuz a off night for music, and I found the parlor nearly deserted when I walked in and sot down in my accustomed easy chair. And no sooner had I sot down seemin'ly than Mr. Pomper's massive form emerged onto the seen, and he drawed up a chair and sot down by my side.

Agreably to the plans I had laid down in my mind, I did not object to the move. But though a picture of calmness on the outside, inwardly I wuz callin' almost wildly on my powers of memory, tryin' to think jest what Malviny had done, one of the immortal Children of the Abbey, when Lord Mortimer approached her with his onlawful suit, and I tried also to recall what the Mountain Mourner had done in like circumstances, but before I had half done interviewin' them heroines in sperit my mind wuz recalled into the onwelcome present by Mr. Pomper's voice in my left ear:

"I asked you, Josiah Allen's wife," sez he, "to listen to me, for I felt that you wuz the most proper person for me to state my feelings to. Since you and your party have entered this house," sez he, "I have had a great conflict goin' on between my mind and my heart."

"Ah indeed! have you?" sez I, liftin' my nose at a angle of from forty to fifty degrees.

"Yes," sez he, "I have had a great struggle between my heart and my common sense, and in the battle that ensued, Common Sense and Reason has had to retire into the background, and Heart has triumphed."

"It is a great pity!" sez I, "Common Sense and Reason had much better come out ahead," and agin I lifted my nose to its extremest limit, and looked swords and prunin' knives at him.

"That is just what most folks would say, I am aware, but listen to my story before you judge. I must reveal to you the state of my heart and affections!"

How sure it is that when a kag is tapped the contents will run out no matter whether it is wine or water. At them bold words accompanied by the ardent rollin' of that lone orb, my well-laid plans all left my mind, nothin' wuz left but pure principle and devotion and loyalty to my pardner. The full kag emptied its contents over his nefarious purposes, and I bust out almost onbeknown to me and sez:

"It is no use; it is vain, it is worse than vain! it is wicked!"

"What," sez he, "is she engaged to another?"

"Who?" sez I, turnin' like lightnin' and facin' him.

"Why, Miss Smith, your niece or grand-child who is with you. That beauchious creature!" sez he.

"Faithful Smith!" sez I faintly, "is she the one you are talkin' about?"

"Yes," sez he, "your grand-daughter, is she not?"

"My grand-daughter!" sez I in deep contempt, "she is my own cousin on my own side."

"I thought," sez he, "from her looks and yours that she might be your grand-child, but that is of no moment," sez he.

"It is of moment!" sez I, "she is uncle Leander Smith's own child, and though she is a few years younger than I be, it has always been said and thought all over Jonesville and Loontown that I hold my age to a remarkable extent. And though I think my eyes of Faith I won't thank you or anyone else for callin' her my grand-child!"

"But yet," sez he, "that's a tender, sweet relationship. What I want to say to you is in relation to Miss Smith, she looks sad but beauchious. I like her looks. You may have noticed that I have occasionally glanced in the direction of your party."

"Yes," sez I, "Heaven knows I have noticed it!"

"Yes," sez he, "as I have looked upon her face from day to day a conflict has been wagin' in my heart, and though you may be surprised at the result (for I am very wealthy) I have decided to make her glad and joyous once more."

He paused, as if for a reply, and I sez, "How did you mean to tackle the job?"

"By makin' her my wife," sez he.

The mystery wuz all explained, my dignity and my beloved pardner's safety all assured. I felt a feeling of infinite relief, and yet I felt like a fool, and I blamed him severely for this ridiculous contrary temps that had occurred in my mind.

"Of course," sez he, "it is a great rise for her, I have hearn that she hain't worth much, as I count wealth, and as we are speakin' in confidence, I will say that there is a rich widder here who has hopes of me, and mebby I've gin her some encouragement, kinder accidental, as you may say, but I ort to know better. Widdowers can't be too careful; they do great harm, let 'em be as careful as possible. They tromple right and left over wimmen's hearts do the best they can. But since I have seen Miss Smith and witnessed her sad face I have done a sight of thinkin'. Here the case lays, the widder is strong, she can stand trouble better. The widder is happy, for she has got that which will make any woman happy—health, wealth, and property. And I've been turnin' it over in my mind that mebby Duty is drawin' me away from the widder and towards the maid. It hain't because the widder is homely as the old Harry that influences me, no not at all. But the thought of lightenin' the burden of the sad and down hearted, makin' the mournful eyes dance with ecstasy, and the skrinkin' form bound with joy like—like—the boundin' row on the hill tops. Now as the case stands marry I will and must. My wife has already been lost for a period of three months lackin' three weeks. She sweetly passed away murmurin', 'I am glad to go.'"

"No wonder at that!" I sez, "no wonder!"

"Yes, she wuz a Christian and she passed sweetly up into the Hevings, thank the Lord!" sez he lookin' acrost onto Faith's sweet face, for she had come back and set down acrost the room.

"She is better off, I hain't a doubt on't!" sez I fervently.

"I don't know about that. I did well by her, and she felt as well as myself, that to be my wife wuz a fate not often gin to mortal wimmen."

"That is so!" sez I fervently, "that is so!"

"Yes she wuz proud and happy durin' her life. I did everything for her. I killed a chicken durin' her last sickness onasked, jest to surprise her with soup. She lived proud and happy and died happy."

"I hain't a doubt that she died happy."

"No," sez he, "and now I must make a choice of her successor. It is a hard job to do," sez he.

"No doubt on't," sez I, "no doubt on't!"

"Yes, whatever woman I choose, some must be left, pinin' on their stems, to speak poetically. I can't marry every woman, that's plain to be seen."

"Yes, thank Heaven! that's a settled thing," sez I lookin' longin'ly at my pardner, who wuz leanin' aginst the door and conversin' with the man of the house on his chosen theme, for anon or oftener I hearn the words—Coney Island! Dreamland—Luny Park, etc., etc.

"No, and my choice made, I want it done as speedily as possible, for my late lamented left as a slight token of her love thirteen children of all ages, rangin' from six months up to twelve years, two pairs of triplets, two ditto of twins, and three singles.

"My wealth lays in land mostly. I never believed in idle luxuries, only comfort, solid comfort, and my wife will have a luxurious home of a story and a half upright, and a linter, groceries and necessaries all provided, and all she will have to do will be the housework and gently train and care for the minds and bodies of the little ones, with some help from the oldest set of triplets, and make my home agin an oasis of joy, a Eden below. Oh! how happy she will be!" sez he, "Nestlin' down like a wanderin' dove in the safety and peace and pride of married life. When can I see Miss Smith?" sez he. "Or will you tell her in advance of her good fortune?"



"No indeed!" sez I, "I make no matches nor break none. You will have to do your own errents."



CHAPTER NINE

IN WHICH MR. POMPER MAKES A OFFER OF MARRIAGE AND FAITH HAS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE



CHAPTER NINE

IN WHICH MR. POMPER MAKES A OFFER OF MARRIAGE AND FAITH HAS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE

Faith had got up and gone out onto the piazza, and he riz up ponderously and proudly and follered her. And onless I put cotton in my ears, I couldn't help hearin' what wuz said. I could hear his proud axent and her low gentle voice in reply.

Sez he, "Miss Smith, of course you hain't known me long, but I feel that we are well acquainted. I have watched you when you hain't known it."

I could imagine just how wonderingly the soft gentle eyes wuz raised to his as he went on:

"Yes, I have kep' my eye on you, and I will say right out that I like your looks and your ways, and I feel that you are worthy of being promoted to the high honor I am about to heap onto you, by askin' you to be my wife."

I heard a little low, skairt ejaculation and a chair pushed back.

"Your wife! oh no, no, you are mistaken!"

Then his voice in soothin' axents, "There, set down agin, set down. I knew you'd take it so. I knew it would overcome you, but I say you are worthy on't, and you needn't never be afraid I'll throw it in your face that I am rich and you—and you——"

Then I hearn a swish of a dress float along, quick steps acrost the piazza, a door shet, and anon Mr. Pomper come back to me.

"Jest as I told you, mom, stunted," sez he, "fairly stunted and broke down by the suddenness of the good news. I'll give her time to git used to the idee. I won't say no more at present."

"No," sez I dryly, "I wouldn't if I wuz in your place, I'd go and rub some ile into my head or sweat it, or sunthin'."

"What for?" sez he in surprise, "why should I bathe my head, or annoint it?"

"Oh nothin'," sez I, "if you don't think it needs softenin' up and illuminatin'."

Well, I went up to my room and in a few minutes Faith come in, and she went right by me and looked in the glass. She wuz pale and seemed to be kinder tremblin'. She studied her face intently in the lookin' glass, then sez she, "What is there in my face, what have I done?" sez she, "How have I looked, that that awful man dare insult me? Oh, I must have looked weak or acted weak, or he wouldn't have dared to!" and she busted out cryin'.

And I sez soothin'ly, "It hain't the worst thing that could happen to you. A offer of marriage hain't like a attack of yeller fever, or cholera, or even the janders, nor," sez I, "it hain't like losin' friends, or a plague of grasshoppers, or——"

And I spoze there hain't no tellin' onto what hites of eloquence I might have riz to cheer her up. But all of a sudden she bust out a-laughin' with the tears standin' in her big eyes and runnin' down her cheeks.

"There," sez I, "you see I'm right, don't you?"

"Oh you dear, delicious Samantha!" sez she, and she throwed her arms round me and kissed me. I kissed her back and then I went on brushin' my hair for the night. I hadn't nothin' on but my skirts and dressin' sack, but I didn't mind her. And she went and sot down by the winder and looked off into the west. Fur off the blue hazy distance lay like another country. The moonlight lay on the waters, a white sail fur off seemed to float into dreamy mist. She sot there still, and a queer look seemed to come into her face. I felt that she wuz thinkin' of him, the lost lover of her youth. I felt that she wuz with him and not with me. I thought from the looks of her face she might think he had been insulted by the rude feet that had assayed to walk into the kingdom where he had rained, and rained still, I believe. Sez I to myself, mebby she is walkin' with him in the past, and mebby in the futer, how could I tell, I felt queer and wadded up my hair with emotions that never before went into them hair pins.

After I had finished I sot down, as my habit is, to read a few verses of Skripter, to sort o' carry with me in my journey through the unknown realms of Sleep. And as I make a practice of openin' wherever I happen to—or I don't really like that word happen—I let the book open where it will, and I wuz jest readin' these words:

"Ye have seen all that the Lord did before your eyes, the signs and the great miracles."

When I hearn through my readin', as one will, the whistle of the night boat comin' in, and the noise of many steps goin' along the walk below. Then I opened the book agin and went on with my readin':

"The secret things belong unto the Lord our God, but these things that are revealed belong to us."

When sunthin' made me look up, Faith wuz bendin' forward lookin' out of the winder, though she couldn't see anyone that wuz passin' on account of the ruff, and I see a look that I never see before on any face, it wuz all rousted up, illuminated, glad, triumphant, sad, glowin', blessed, and everything else.

And I said, "What is it, Faith, what do you see?"

Sez she, "I don't know."

And I said then, "What do you think it is?"

And she sez, "Cousin Samantha, do you think that those who are far away ever return to the hearts that are mourning for them? Is there any way that souls can meet while the bodies are far apart?"

"Why yes," sez I, "I have always thought so, I have always thought they had some way of tellin' us they wuz nigh without usin' language we know anything about. Many is the time I've expected visitors that I hadn't seen or hearn from in some time, and sure enough they'd come jest as I seemed to think they would. And letters! how many a time all of a sudden I would most know I wuz goin' to git a letter from somebody, and sure enough when Josiah would go to the post office he'd bring it back with him. How them folks hundreds of milds away managed to let me know they wuz thinkin' of me on paper, or how I knew these friends wuz approachin' onbeknown to me, I don't know nor Josiah don't.

"There wuzn't no U. S. stamp on these messages, nor earthly hands didn't bring the tidin's of these visitors. No the post-masters and messengers on that mysterious Route keep perfect silence as to where they be, or who they be. But they are at work all the same, though who they work for, or how they work, how can we tell? The strange rays of light that flash through the darkness of dense bodies makin' visible what has been onseen since the creation, hasn't discovered these highways yet, mebby they will. The strange new air route messages that travel acrost the stormy Atlantic may run right acrost these mysterious highways," and for a minute my mind follered off on them strange, strange tracks, Marconi roads lighted by X-rays and leadin' who knows where.

When my mind kinder come back agin to what we wuz talkin' about I resoomed, "And if this happens to us as it duz time and agin in regard to friends and well wishers, how much more it is likely to be true of those we love and who love us. This strange knowledge and fore-warnin' is not material, it is independent of the body or any workin's of the mind that we understand, and how do we know how fur reachin' and universal that law is if our eyes wuz not held so we could discern it? If these fine senses wuz not so unused, and as you may say bed-rid by disuse, how do we know how truly near to us may be those who in our blindness we say are fur away, how do we know but their spiritual self, their real self, may be nearer to us than our neighbors in the flesh, and those who sit by our firesides, though our mortal eyes may not see them, and oceans and seas may divide us and mebby the Deepest River. What do we know about the onseen roads that lay all about us, leadin' from Loontown and Jonesville and from one continent to the other, and mebby up through the clear fields of Light? What do we know about them still mysterious streets windin' mebby from our home and hearts to Thomas Jefferson's, and so on, mebby from star to star? And what do we know of the travelers that go up and down on 'em and outward and homeward? These roads don't need any surveyor to lay 'em out, or path-master to clear 'em of snow and dirt, no weeds grow up by the wayside, nor dirt lays in the track.

"No, clear and broad and unobstructed the luminous pathways may lay all round us onknown to us. Noiseless chariots, swifter than our imaginations can grasp now, may cleave these star routes, connecting one land to another, and mebby jinin' immense distances to our planet, as easy as we can hitch up and go to Jonesville.

"We don't see these noiseless conveyances, lighter and swifter than thought, nor the forms they waft to us from afar. We can't hear their voices, but our soul listens! We feel their nearness! For a blessed moment we are thrilled with the bliss of their presence, their full comprehension of pity and love.

"'Dear ones!' our heart cries, 'where are you? Come nearer! Let our eyes behold you!' Our soul peers longin'ly through the mist of earthly blindness, looking! listening!'"

I wuz carried some distance away from myself by my deep eppisodin' when a sigh from Faith brung me down and landed me on terry firmy agin and I sez,

"Why do you ask this question to-night, dear?"

"Because," sez she in a tremblin' voice, "I feel that someone long gone and lost is near me to-night, I feel the presence nearer than you are now," sez she, puttin' her little white tremblin' hand on my own.

"I am not mistaken," sez she with streaming eyes, "I know that in whatever world or distant way that soul may be dwellin', it is with me to-night. It frightens me!" sez she, white as a cloth, "And it fills me with the blessedness of Heaven!" And she smiled with her big luminous eyes. She wuz tremblin' like a popple leaf.

"Well, well," sez I, "shet up the winder, and take a little catnip tea. I'll steep it on my alcohol lamp, and go to bed. You've been excited too much to-night." I knew, though she didn't say so, that the very idee of catnip wuz repugnant and oncongenial to her at that time, but I felt that I had reason and common sense on my side. Faithful hain't over strong, and had been through considerable excitement, besides I hearn the distant step of my pardner, and his voice parleyin' with the hall boy for sunthin'.

And though the subject broached by Faith, and believed in by me, wuz as interestin' to me as a subject could be, yet I felt then, and feel now, that though transcendentalism may be more agreable talkin' matter, and may be indulged in at times, yet such commonplace subjects as herb drink has to be brung forwards and sort o' hung onto by our minds, in order to anchor 'em as it were to the land of Megumness, where I would fain tarry myself and have my near and dearest dwell. But Faith said she didn't want any catnip, and jest before Josiah come in she kissed me good night, and I said, "Good night, dear, and 'God be with you till we meet again.'"

I knew she thought everything of that him, and thought mebby it would sort o' quiet her some since she rejected the paneky I spoke of. But her face at the very last looked white and riz up and luminous, and her eyes shone. I felt queer.

The next day wuz Sunday and Josiah and I went to the Tabernacle to meetin'. Faith havin' a headache didn't go. But before I go any furder I will back up the boat and moor it to the shore, while I tell you what the result wuz so fur as Mr. Pomper wuz concerned. At the breakfast table next mornin' he cast languishin' glances at Faith, and then looked round the room proudly as much as to say:

"Gentlemen and ladies, behold my choice, and I hain't sorry I chose her out of the throng of waitin' wimmen."

But some time durin' that day he found out his mistake. I don't know exactly how Faith managed to pierce the rhinocerous hide of his self-conceit with the truth, but she did somehow let him know that his attentions wuz futile, futiler than he ever mistrusted his attentions could be.

But he wuzn't danted and down-casted more'n several minutes, I guess, for anon I see him walkin' with a woman almost as ponderous as he wuz, and as she wuz all janglin' with black jet and as humbly as humbly could be, I mistrusted that he had gone back to his allegiance to the widder, and I think he looked happier than I had ever seen him. He looked as if he wuz rejoiced that his temporary thraldom to sentiment wuz over, and common sense and practical gain wuz in the ascendancy agin. And though it hain't much matter, I will say I read his marriage in the paper the next week:

"Amaziah Pomper to Euphrasia, relict of Elnathan Fatt."

But I d'no as Faith knew anything about it, for she didn't stay with us only a few days longer, she went on to visit her aunt Petrie and so on to the Ohio, makin' a solemn promise to me to stop and visit us on her way home the last of September. Well, I will now onhitch the boat and row back, and then let it sail on down the stream of history. As I said, the next day after that singular experience of Faith's wuz Sunday, and my pardner and I went to the Tabernacle. We wuz told that there wuz to be oncommon exercises that day owin' to the visit of a great Evangelist from the West. Lots of folks had come on the night boats so as to be there to hear him. For if the angel Gabriel wanted to preach there to lost sinners, he couldn't land there on Sunday unless he swum or come cross lots (that is, unless he flowed down). The folks on that island are too good to let anyone come there to meetin' unless they come sarahuptishously. I asked a trustee once why it wuz wicked for folks to ride there to meetin'.

And he said, "A merciful man is merciful to his beast."

Sez I, "A steamer hain't a beast, and if it wuz, it wouldn't tucker it out much to come over from the bay or Clayton." And he said the sailors would have to toil to git 'em there.

"So the driver and the horses have to toil to git sinners to meetin' on the main land," sez I. And he said, "The steamers would make noise and confusion, and disturb the sweet Sabbath calm." I felt there wuz some truth in this, though it wouldn't make nigh so much noise as the thousands of church bells clangin' out church time in cities and villages.

Sez he, "If we allowed boats to land here we should be overrun with excursionists who don't care for Sunday as a day of holy quiet and rest, and our peaceful Sabbath would be turned into a carnival of pleasure seekers, flirtations, giggles, brown paper parcels, egg shells, cigar smoke and sandwiches."

And I sez, "Like as not that is so." And I felt that mebby he wuz in the right on't. But some don't like it and feel that they'd ort to take the resk.



CHAPTER TEN

WE HEAR A GREAT TEMPERANCE SERMON, BUT JOSIAH STILL HANKERS FOR CONEY ISLAND



CHAPTER TEN

WE HEAR A GREAT TEMPERANCE SERMON, BUT JOSIAH STILL HANKERS FOR CONEY ISLAND

Ever since I had been to the Thousand Island Park, my mind had roamed onto that idee of the Tabernacle with a sort of or. It is a big impressive word and one calculated to impress a stranger and sojourner. And so when we made up our minds to attend to it I almost instinctively put on my best alpacky dress (London brown) and I also run a new ribbin into my braize veil and tied it round my bunnet so it would hang in graceful folds adown the left side of my frame, I also put on my black mitts and my mantilly with tabs; of course I carried my faithful umbrell.

I looked well. Faith had a bad headache, I guess the job of gittin' that information into Mr. Pomper's head had tuckered her out, so I and my pardner sot off alone. All the way there my mind wuz real riz up thinkin' I wuz goin' to see sunthin' very grand lookin' and scriptural, and I said over and over to myself a number of times with deep respect and or, "Tabernacle! Tabernacle!"

Yes, I felt some as if I wuz the Queen of Sheba and Josiah wuz Solomon, though I might have knowed, my pardner lacked the first ingregient in Solomon's nater, wisdom. And I probable wuzn't so dressy as Miss Sheba, 'tennyrate I hadn't no crown or septer, a brown straw bunnet and umbrell meetin' my wants better, but not nigh so dashy lookin'. But my feelin's all come from the name of the place we wuz bound for, and the patriarchical, Biblical past my mind wuz rovin' round in. Yes, my mind wuz rousted up and runnin' on the trimmin's of the Ark and Temple. I thought like as not I should see purple curtains hung on shinin' poles, jest so many cubits long and high, and gorgeous carpets to walk on and ornaments and fringes and tossels.

I would not ask questions, but I wuz prepared for splendid lookin' things and lots of 'em. Well, if you'll believe me there wuzn't a thing there that I expected to see, not a ornament or curtain or tossel, and nothin' but jest common ground to walk on like our suller bottom or dooryard. And long benches all through it as fur as the eye could reach almost.

The platform wuz big as most meetin' housen, but bare and plain, and there wuz what seemed to be sheets hung up round the hull concern, though rolled up so we could see out all round us. There wuz only one way it come up to my idees, and that wuz the cubits. I should think it wuz jest about as many cubits long and broad as anything ever wuz or ever will be. They say it will hold five thousand folks, and I should judge they wuz all there that mornin', and had brung their children and relations on both sides.

They wuz havin' a song service when we went in, and to hear five thousand voices or so fillin' that Tabernacle full of high and inspirin' melody, wuz indeed a treat. It filled it so full that it oozed out of the sheets on all sides and soared up through the encirclin' green trees, up, up towards the blue sky, and no knowin' how much furder it did go upwards, clear up to Heaven like as not, for that place we have always been told is the home of music. It wuz sunthin' to remember as long as you lived to hear that great flood of melody flow out and swash and sway round us, bearin' us some distance away from ourselves.

My Josiah tuned up and sung jest as loud as any of 'em, but his singin' would have sounded better if he had sung the tune the rest did. He sung the tune he had always been used to singin' hims in, he is dretful sot on it, and don't like to change. But as he seemed to enjoy it so much, and the great rush of melody wuz so powerful his voice wuz onnoticed. The him wuz, "How firm a foundation ye saints of the Lord."

Mr. Pomper wuz jest ahead on us, and thinkin' he would see better, I spoze had got up on the bench, and jest as he shouted out with the rest, "How firm a foundation," the bench broke and down he come, but in the big volume of sound, his yell of fright wuzn't heard no more than the note of a mosquito in a cyclone.

In the intervals of silence Josiah sot and made comments to me on the surroundin' seen, that alas made me know his mind wuzn't riz up on such hites as mine wuz. He commented on the looks of the men around him, and cast the idee in my face that there wuzn't any on 'em so good lookin' as he wuz, or nigh so distinguished in their means. I felt sorry to think he wuz so blinded, though of course he looks good to me. And he talked about the wimmen and advanced the idee that they well might take pattern by his pardner in their looks and deportment. Josiah after all is a man of good sense.



As I looked round me, I liked the place more and more. What need wuz there of upholstery and carpets? Brussels never turned out such a carpet as old Mom Nater had spread all round that Temple of hern. Old Gobelin never wove such tapestry. No Empress of the wonder-laden East ever had hung in her boodore such a marvelous green texture as drooped down in emerald canopies above us. No golden lamp ever gin such a light as sifted down over the matchless green overhead, to light that solemn sanctuary. No organ ever gin out such sweet sound as the birds warbled anon or oftener. No jeweled ornaments ever sparkled on a altar like the emerald and gold winged butterflies flutterin' round that sacred hant, amongst the wild flowers that blossomed even up to the door. And it seemed as if the soul could soar up easier somehow when you could look right into the blue mystery of the sky, the trackless path that souls mount up on in prayer and praise. Somehow plaster and mortar seem more confinin'. Though I d'no as it really makes any difference. Heaven is over all, and the soul's wings can pierce the heaviest material, bein' made in jest that strong and delicate way, but yet it seemed more free and soarin' somehow, and as if the path heavenward wuz clearer.

The breezes kind of hung off and didn't come in. Josiah said they wuz afraid to land on Thousand Island Park for fear of bein' fined for travelin' on Sunday, but it wuzn't so, they didn't come because it wuz so sultry and kinder muggy.

I'd hearn that the man who wuz goin' to preach wuz a dretful smart man, a Evangelist and Temperance Lecturer. A man so gifted and good that folks would go milds and milds to hear him, he seemed to hold the secret of inspirin' men and wimmen, and rousin' 'em out of their cold icy states, and drawin' 'em right along towards the mounts he habitually stood on. He'd done sights of good, sights on it.

And anon I see a stir round the preacher's stand that made me know the speaker of the day, the great Revivalist and Temperance worker had come. And most immegiately a tall figger passed through the crowd that made way for him reverentially. There wuz a smile and a good look on his face for all the bretheren round him, some like a benediction, only less formal. As he come out on the stand and stood before us I could see that there wuz a light shinin' on his face as if ketched from some heavenly and divine power. His eyes wuz soft and deep lookin', as if he knew jest how mean and weak humanity wuz, and wuz sorry for folks, and would like to tell 'em the secret he had found out, how to overcome the world, the flesh, and the devil, specially the devil.

His smile wuz sad and sweet, jest about half-and-half. His features wuz good, and his hair, which wuz light brown to start with, wuz considerable gray round his forward. His voice wuz like the sound of deep waters that penetrates through all lighter voices and that you hear through 'em all, jest as you hear the voice of the great River through all the murmurin's of the trees and bird song on the shore. He gin out a him in that sweet melogious voice that wuz as good as singin' or better. The him told how, though we could not climb up into Heaven to bring the Lord Christ down, yet how love had still its Olivet and Faith its Galilee. And one verse wuz:

The healing of that seamless dress Is by our beds of pain; We touch it in life's care and stress And we are strong again.

And oh the truth of them verses! As that man read and prayed and spoke, that seamless dress seemed to float along by us, worn by the pityin' Christ, we laid holt on it with our yearnin' longin's and outreachin' sperits, and felt that strength had gone out of it into our souls.

His prayer seemed to bring Heaven so near to us that we could almost look in. He asked the Lord to draw nigh to us, and He did. He asked Him to help us bear our daily trials and temptations, and the weary wearin' cares of life, and we felt that He would help us. We felt that that sweet strong appeal for the Comforter to come into our lives to bless and strengthen us for good work, wuz answered then and there.

The Word he read wuz that incomparable chapter in Hebrews, in which Paul tells of the mighty works wrought by faith, of them who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, stopped the mouths of lions, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens. Women received their dead raised to life agin. And on to the end of that matchless chapter.

And the text wuz, "Wherefore seeing we are encompassed about by so great a cloud of witnesses let us lay aside every weight and the sin that doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us."

And then follered a sermon that wuz better than any I ever hearn in my life, and I have sot under splendid preachers in my day. But this, though delivered in simple language wuz so helpful, lifting us, holding us up, so we could ketch a glimpse of the right way and inspire us with the strength to foller it.

He pinted out to us the sins that so easily beset us, easily indeed. Not the old sins of Adam and Noah and the rest—patriarchal sins that made us feel reproachful towards the old sinful patriarchs and comfortable toward ourselves. No, he pinted out the besettin' sins that are rampant and liable to ruin us in the nineteen hundreds. After speakin' of the other deadly sins that are liable to lay holt on us, such as oncharitableness, envy, jealousy, bigotry, intolerance, injustice, over-weaning ambition, and other personal and national sins, he spoke at length of that monster sin, that national disgrace, Intemperance.

I spoze it wuz some as if when you tapped a barrel filled with pure water, why pure water would flow out of it. And I spoze he wuz so full of his great life work aginst that gigantick evil Intemperance, that them ideas had to flow out when the plug of silence wuz removed. And readin' what he had about them who through faith had stopped the mouth of lions, escaped the edge of the sword, I spoze he wanted to make his hearers feel that they too could so arm themselves with faith and the power of His might, as to stop the mouths of these nineteenth century lions, overthrow the laws entrenched in lion-like strength in the stronghold of National protection, and escape the edge of the sword of personal greed and selfishness, and put to flight the army of the aliens from God and the good of humanity.

And I spoze when he thought of them wimmen who had received their dead raised to life agin, he thought of the yearly sacrifice to Intemperance, the thousands and thousands of husbands, sons, brothers who are struck by the death blight now, makin' ready to fall into those oncounted graves. And he wanted to roust 'em up and save their souls and bodies alive and give them back to these wimmen agin, raised from the dead.

Yes, his warnin's and appeals wuz all directed to this present time and preached to us. He never mentioned them old Egyptians who wuz all dead and drownded out years ago, both by the Red sea, and the long swosh of the sea of Time, or the old Jews and Hebrews, nor he didn't dwell on science or philosophy, but he pressed the truth home to the hearts of his hearers, how the Lord Jesus had once dwelt upon earth, how He had passed through all the cares and sufferings that we wuz passing through, how He wuz tempted by the sins, pained by the griefs of the world, and how He pitied us and would help us.

As I say, instead of Bible crimes that had been committed centuries ago, he dwelt strong and as if his hull heart wuz in his words on that terrible national crime back of most all the other sins and crimes of to-day. That stands a huge black shape blocking up the world's progress, that we ort to try our best to fight aginst, and how we had a Helper. And his idee wuz that good men, clergymen and such, who are wont to stand off and look down on the battlefield, ort to buckle on their armor and join in the warfare. And he said that if sometimes the battle smoke hid the form of our great High Priest and Helper we mustn't forgit that He wuz there, lookin' on, seeing how the battle went between the Right and the Wrong, and giving His help towards the right side in His own good time, and he gin us to understand that:

All the blood that falls in righteous cause, Each crimson drop shall nourish snowy flowers, And quicken golden grain bright sheaves of good, That under happier skies shall yet be reaped.

"For," sez he:

When Right opposes Wrong, shall Evil win? Nay, never; but the years of God are long.

And he counseled his hearers to keep on and work—work and follow the leadin' of Him who shall conquer all sin and evil.

It wuz a grand and powerful effort. It wuzn't so flowery as I've hearn, but the strength, the pathos of it wuz wonderful. I didn't wonder as I hearn him talk of what I'd been told that day by different ones of how people flocked to hear him, how he might have the choice of big city churches with big salaries accordin', but he had chosen to stay by the common people. Had elected that he would not have wealth and station, that he would go about tellin' of the love of God, urgin' men to accept Him, goin' about doin' good.

As we listened to him, everything seemed possible, the right seemed possible to do, it almost seemed as if we felt the crown restin' on our tired foretops. And he ended the sermon as he had begun it with a few words from the Book, "Now bretheren quit ye like men, be steadfast, strong in the Lord and in the power of His might." And then agin he breathed out his very soul in prayer, and we wuz lifted up some distance towards the Better Country. As he ended his words we all heaved some long sithes and seemed to fall down some distance, and found ourselves to our great surprise still on the old earth.

A enthusiastick little woman, who'd shouted out, "Amen!" with the best of 'em sez to me, "Wasn't that sermon a grand one?"

"Yes," sez I, "it come right from his heart, and went to mine. It lifted me up some distance above the earth," sez I.

"Yes," sez she, "the Elder is one of the saints on earth, but we are afraid he hain't long for this world."

"Why?" sez I.

"He don't take any care of himself. He lives alone with an old housekeeper who is dretful slack and don't have any faculty, and he don't have things for his comfort, though he don't complain. He gits no end of money, but gives it all away, or it is wasted to home. I went to his house once on business,—I am from the West," sez she,—"and it wuz so bare and desolate lookin' that I almost cried. He ort to marry," sez she, "I have five daughters myself, and three onmarried nieces and they all say the same thing, that he ought to be married to some woman who would jest worship him, for no woman could help it, and take care on him. For," sez she with a shrewd look, "the smartest men and the most spiritual ones are the most helpless, come to things of this world."

"Yes," sez I, "our minister to Jonesville could no more make a mess of cream biscuit than he could fly. He is great on the Evidences, and a great Bible expounder, but he couldn't sew on a button so it wouldn't pucker the cloth, if he should cry like a babe."

"No," sez she, "I presume not, my girls are splendid with the needle, and good cooks, and so religious—it's a sight! and so are my sister's three girls, though they don't quite come up to my five."

Well, there wuz a stir in the crowd. The Elder had come down and wuz shakin' hands right and left with them that crowded up to him. The little woman pressed towards him and I wuz drawed along in her wake by the crowd, some as a stately ship is swep' on by a small tug and the flowin' waves. And anon, after shakin' hands with her, he took my hand in hisen. A emotion swep' through me, a sort of electric current that connects New Jerusalem to Jonesville and Zoar. He bent his full sweet penetratin' look onto me, it seemed to go through my head clear to my back comb, and he sez,

"Have I met you before?"

"Yes," sez I, "in sperit, we have met, I want to thank you for the words you have said this day. It seems to me I shall be good for some time, it seems that I must after hearin' your discourse, and I want to thank you for it, thank you earnest and sincere."

He smiled sort o' sad and yet riz up, and sez, "We are all wayfarers here on a hard journey, and if I can help anyone along the way, it is I who should be thankful, and," sez he, "may God bless you, sister!"

And he passed on.

But he seemed to leave a wake of glory behind him as he went, some like the glow on the water when the sun walks over it, a warmin' life givin' influence that comes from a big soul filled with light and goodness. I seemed to be riz up above the earth all the way back to the hotel, though in body I wuz walkin' afoot by the side of my pardner. He too wuz enthused by the sermon—I had reconized his little treble voice shoutin' out "Amen!" and he said now that it wuz grand, powerful!