G.M. This is worth while, so that factions should not be cherished for the harm of the fatherland, and so that civil wars might not occur, for by means of these a tyrant often arises, as the examples of Rome and Athens show. Now, I pray you, tell me of their works and matter connected therewith.

Capt. I believe that you have already heard about their military affairs and about their agricultural and pastoral life, and in what way these are common to them, and how they honour with the first grade of nobility whoever is considered, to have a knowledge of these. They who are skilful in more arts than these they consider still nobler, and they set that one apart for teaching the art in which he is most skilful. The occupations which require the most labour, such as working in metals and building, are the most praiseworthy amongst them. No one declines to go to these occupations, for the reason that from the beginning their propensities are well known, and among them, on account of the distribution of labour, no one does work harmful to him, but only that which is necessary for him. The occupations entailing less labour belong to the women. All of them are expected to know how to swim, and for this reason ponds are dug outside the walls of the city and within them near to the fountains.

Commerce is of little use to them, but they know the value of money, and they count for the use of their ambassadors and explorers, so that with it they may have the means of living. They receive merchants into their states from the different countries of the world, and these buy the superfluous goods of the city. The people of the City of the Sun refuse to take money, but in importing they accept in exchange those things of which they are in need, and sometimes they buy with money; and the young people in the City of the Sun are much amused when they see that for a small price they receive so many things in exchange. The old men, however, do not laugh. They are unwilling that the state should be corrupted by the vicious customs of slaves and foreigners. Therefore they do business at the gates, and sell those whom they have taken in war or keep them for digging ditches and other hard work without the city, and for this reason they always send four bands of soldiers to take care of the fields, and with them there are the labourers. They go out of the four gates from which roads with walls on both sides of them lead to the sea, so that goods might easily be carried over them and foreigners might not meet with difficulty on their way.

To strangers they are kind and polite; they keep them for three days at the public expense; after they have first washed their feet, they show them their city and its customs, and they honour them with a seat at the council and public table, and there are men whose duty it is to take care of and guard the guests. But if strangers should wish to become citizens of their state, they try them first for a month on a farm, and for another month in the city, then they decide concerning them, and admit them with certain ceremonies and oaths.

Agriculture is much followed among them; there is not a span of earth without cultivation, and they observe the winds and propitious stars. With the exception of a few left in the city all go out armed, and with flags and drums and trumpets sounding, to the fields, for the purposes of ploughing, sowing, digging, hoeing, reaping, gathering fruit and grapes; and they set in order everything, and do their work in a very few hours and with much care. They use waggons fitted with sails which are borne along by the wind even when it is contrary, by the marvellous contrivance of wheels within wheels.

And when there is no wind a beast draws along a huge cart, which is a grand sight.

The guardians of the land move about in the meantime, armed and always in their proper turn. They do not use dung and filth for manuring the fields, thinking that the fruit contracts something of their rottenness, and when eaten gives a short and poor subsistence, as women who are beautiful with rouge and from want of exercise bring forth feeble offspring. Wherefore they do not as it were paint the earth, but dig it up well and use secret remedies, so that fruit is borne quickly and multiplies, and is not destroyed. They have a book for this work, which they call the Georgics. As much of the land as is necessary is cultivated, and the rest is used for the pasturage of cattle.

The excellent occupation of breeding and rearing horses, oxen, sheep, dogs and all kinds of domestic and tame animals, is in the highest esteem among them as it was in the time of Abraham. And the animals are led so to pair that they may be able to breed well.

Fine pictures of oxen, horses, sheep, and other animals are placed before them. They do not turn out horses with mares to feed, but at the proper time they bring them together in an enclosure of the stables in their fields. And this is done when they observe that the constellation Archer is in favourable conjunction with Mars and Jupiter. For the oxen they observe the Bull, for the sheep the Ram, and so on in accordance with art. Under the Pleiades they keep a drove of hens and ducks and geese, which are driven out by the women to feed near the city. The women only do this when it is a pleasure to them. There are also places enclosed, where they make cheese, butter, and milk-food. They also keep capons, fruit and other things, and for all these matters there is a book which they call the Bucolics. They have an abundance of all things, since every one likes to be industrious, their labours being slight and profitable. They are docile, and that one among them who is head of the rest in duties of this kind they call king. For they say that this is the proper name of the leaders, and it does not belong to ignorant persons. It is wonderful to see how men and women march together collectively, and always in obedience to the voice of the king. Nor do they regard him with loathing as we do, for they know that although he is greater than themselves, he is for all that their father and brother. They keep groves and woods for wild animals, and they often hunt.

The science of navigation is considered very dignified by them, and they possess rafts and triremes, which go over the waters without rowers or the force of the wind, but by a marvellous contrivance. And other vessels they have which are moved by the winds. They have a correct knowledge of the stars, and of the ebb and flow of the tide. They navigate for the sake of becoming acquainted with nations and different countries and things. They injure nobody, and they do not put up with injury, and they never go to battle unless when provoked. They assert that the whole earth will in time come to live in accordance with their customs, and consequently they always find out whether there be a nation whose manner of living is better and more approved than the rest. They admire the Christian institutions and look for a realisation of the apostolic life in vogue among themselves and in us. There are treaties between them and the Chinese, and many other nations, both insular and continental, such as Siam and Calicut, which they are only just able to explore. Furthermore, they have artificial fires, battles on sea and land, and many strategic secrets. Therefore they are nearly always victorious.

G.M. Now it would be very pleasant to learn with what foods and drinks they are nourished, and in what way and for how long they live.

Capt. Their food consists of flesh, butter, honey, cheese, garden herbs, and vegetables of various kinds. They were unwilling at first to slay animals, because it seemed cruel; but thinking afterwards that it was also cruel to destroy herbs which have a share of sensitive feeling, they saw that they would perish from hunger unless they did an unjustifiable action for the sake of justifiable ones, and so now they all eat meat. Nevertheless, they do not kill willingly useful animals, such as oxen and horses. They observe the difference between useful and harmful foods, and for this they employ the science of medicine. They always change their food. First they eat flesh, then fish, then afterwards they go back to flesh, and nature is never incommoded or weakened. The old people use the more digestible kind of food, and take three meals a day, eating only a little. But the general community eat twice, and the boys four times, that they might satisfy nature. The length of their lives is generally one hundred years, but often they reach two hundred.

As regards drinking, they are extremely moderate. Wine is never given to young people until they are ten years old, unless the state of their health demands it. After their tenth year they take it diluted with water, and so do the women, but the old men of fifty and upwards use little or no water. They eat the most healthy things, according to the time of the year.

They think nothing harmful which is brought forth by God, except when there has been abuse by taking too much. And therefore in the summer they feed on fruits, because they are moist and juicy and cool, and counteract the heat and dryness. In the winter they feed on dry articles, and in the autumn they eat grapes, since they are given by God to remove melancholy and sadness; and they also make use of scents to a great degree. In the morning, when they have all risen they comb their hair and wash their faces and hands with cold water. Then they chew thyme or rock parsley or fennel, or rub their hands with these plants. The old men make incense, and with their faces to the east repeat the short prayer which Jesus Christ taught us. After this they go to wait upon the old men, some go to the dance, and others to the duties of the state. Later on they meet at the early lectures, then in the temple, then for bodily exercise. Then for a little while they sit down to rest, and at length they go to dinner.

Among them there is never gout in the hands or feet, no catarrh, nor sciatica, nor grievous colics, nor flatulency, nor hard breathing. For these diseases are caused by indigestion and flatulency, and by frugality and exercise they remove every humour and spasm. Wherefore it is unseemly in the extreme to be seen vomiting or spitting, since they say that this is a sign either of little exercise or of ignoble sloth, or of drunkenness or gluttony. They suffer rather from swellings or from the dry spasm, which they relieve with plenty of good and juicy food. They heal fevers with pleasant baths and with milk-food, and with a pleasant habitation in the country and by gradual exercise. Unclean diseases cannot be prevalent with them because they often clean their bodies by bathing in wine, and soothe them with aromatic oil, and by the sweat of exercise they diffuse the poisonous vapour which corrupts the blood and the marrow. They do suffer a little from consumption, because they cannot perspire at the breast, but they never have asthma, for the humid nature of which a heavy man is required. They cure hot fevers with cold potations of water, but slight ones with sweet smells, with cheese-bread or sleep, with music or dancing. Tertiary fevers are cured by bleeding, by rhubarb or by a similar drawing remedy, or by water soaked in the roots of plants, with purgative and sharp-tasting qualities. But it is rarely that they take purgative medicines. Fevers occurring every fourth day are cured easily by suddenly startling the unprepared patients, and by means of herbs producing effects opposite to the humours of this fever. All these secrets they told me in opposition to their own wishes. They take more diligent pains to cure the lasting fevers, which they fear more, and they strive to counteract these by the observation of stars and of plants, and by prayers to God. Fevers recurring every fifth, sixth, eighth or more days, you never find whenever heavy humours are wanting.

They use baths, and moreover they have warm ones according to the Roman custom, and they make use also of olive oil. They have found out, too, a great many secret cures for the preservation of cleanliness and health. And in other ways they labour to cure the epilepsy, with which they are often troubled.

G.M. A sign this disease is of wonderful cleverness, for from it Hercules, Scotus, Socrates, Callimachus, and Mahomet have suffered.

Capt. They cure by means of prayers to heaven, by strengthening the head, by acids, by planned gymnastics, and with fat cheese-bread sprinkled with the flour of wheaten corn. They are very skilled in making dishes, and in them they put spice, honey, butter and many highly strengthening spices, and they temper their richness with acids, so that they never vomit. They do not drink ice-cold drinks nor artificial hot drinks, as the Chinese do; for they are not without aid against the humours of the body, on account of the help they get from the natural heat of the water; but they strengthen it with crushed garlic, with vinegar, with wild thyme, with mint, and with basil, in the summer or in time of special heaviness. They know also a secret for renovating life after about the seventieth year, and for ridding it of affliction, and this they do by a pleasing and indeed wonderful art.

G.M. Thus far you have said nothing concerning their sciences and magistrates.

Capt. Undoubtedly I have. But since you are so curious I will add more. Both when it is new moon and full moon they call a council after a sacrifice. To this all from twenty years upwards are admitted, and each one is asked separately to say what is wanting in the state, and which of the magistrates have discharged their duties rightly and which wrongly. Then after eight days all the magistrates assemble, to wit, Hoh first, and with him Power, Wisdom and Love. Each one of the three last has three magistrates under him, making in all thirteen, and they consider the affairs of the arts pertaining to each one of them; Power, of war; Wisdom, of the sciences; Love, of food, clothing, education and breeding. The masters of all the bands, who are captains of tens, of fifties, of hundreds, also assemble, the women first and then the men. They argue about those things which are for the welfare of the state, and they choose the magistrates from among those who have already been named in the great council. In this manner they assemble daily, Hoh and his three princes, and they correct, confirm and execute the matters passing to them, as decisions in the elections; other necessary questions they provide of themselves. They do not use lots unless when they are altogether doubtful how to decide. The eight magistrates under Hoh, Power, Wisdom and Love are changed according to the wish of the people, but the first four are never changed, unless they, taking counsel with themselves, give up the dignity of one to another, whom among them they know to be wiser, more renowned, and more nearly perfect. And then they are obedient and honourable, since they yield willingly to the wiser man and are taught by him. This, however, rarely happens. The principals of the sciences, except Metaphysics, who is Hoh himself, and is as it were the architect of all science, having rule over all, are attached to Wisdom. Hoh is ashamed to be ignorant of any possible thing. Under Wisdom therefore is Grammar, Logic, Physics, Medicine, Astrology, Astronomy, Geometry, Cosmography, Music, Perspective, Arithmetic, Poetry, Rhetoric, Painting, Sculpture. Under the triumvir Love are Breeding, Agriculture, Education, Medicine, Clothing, Pasturage, Coining.

G.M. What about their judges?

Capt. This is the point I was just thinking of explaining. Everyone is judged by the first master of his trade, and thus all the head artificers are judges. They punish with exile, with flogging, with blame, with deprivation of the common table, with exclusion from the church and from the company of women. When there is a case in which great injury has been done, it is punished with death, and they repay an eye with an eye, a nose for a nose, a tooth for a tooth, and so on, according to the law of retaliation. If the offence is wilful the council decides. When there is strife and it takes place undesignedly, the sentence is mitigated; nevertheless, not by the judge but by the triumvirate, from whom even it may be referred to Hoh, not on account of justice but of mercy, for Hoh is able to pardon. They have no prisons, except one tower for shutting up rebellious enemies, and there is no written statement of a case, which we commonly call a lawsuit. But the accusation and witnesses are produced in the presence of the judge and Power; the accused person makes his defence, and he is immediately acquitted or condemned by the judge; and if he appeals to the triumvirate, on the following day he is acquitted of condemned. On the third day he is dismissed through the mercy and clemency of Hoh, or receives the inviolable rigour of his sentence. An accused person is reconciled to his accuser and to his witnesses, as it were, with the medicine of his complaint, that is, with embracing and kissing. No one is killed or stoned unless by the hands of the people, the accuser and the witnesses beginning first. For they have no executioners and lictors, lest the state should sink into ruin. The choice of death is given to the rest of the people, who enclose the lifeless remains in little bags and burn them by the application of fire, while exhorters are present for the purpose of advising concerning a good death. Nevertheless, the whole nation laments and beseeches God that His anger may be appeased, being in grief that it should as it were have to cut off a rotten member of the state. Certain officers talk to and convince the accused man by means of arguments until he himself acquiesces in the sentence of death passed upon him, or else he does not die. But if a crime has been committed against the liberty of the republic, or against God, or against the supreme magistrates, there is immediate censure without pity. These only are punished with death. He who is about to die is compelled to state in the presence of the people and with religious scrupulousness the reasons for which he does not deserve death, and also the sins of the others who ought to die instead of him, and further the mistakes of the magistrates. If, moreover, it should seem right to the person thus asserting, he must say why the accused ones are deserving of less punishment than he. And if by his arguments he gains the victory he is sent into exile, and appeases the state by means of prayers and sacrifices and good life ensuing. They do not torture those named by the accused person, but they warn them. Sins of frailty and ignorance are punished only with blaming, and with compulsory continuation as learners under the law and discipline of those sciences or arts against which they have sinned. And all these things they have mutually among themselves, since they seem to be in very truth members of the same body, and one of another.

This further I would have you know, that if a transgressor, without waiting to be accused, goes of his own accord before a magistrate, accusing himself and seeking to make amends, that one is liberated from the punishment of a secret crime, and since he has not been accused of such a crime, his punishment is changed into another. They take special care that no one should invent slander, and if this should happen they meet the offence with the punishment of retaliation. Since they always walk about and work in crowds, five witnesses are required for the conviction of a transgressor. If the case is otherwise, after having threatened him, he is released after he has sworn an oath as the warrant of good conduct. Or if he is accused a second or third time, his increased punishment rests on the testimony of three or two witnesses. They have but few laws, and these short and plain, and written upon a flat table, and hanging to the doors of the temple, that is between the columns. And on single columns can be seen the essences of things described in the very terse style of Metaphysics—viz., the essences of God, of the angels, of the world, of the stars, of man, of fate, of virtue, all done with great wisdom. The definitions of all the virtues are also delineated here, and here is the tribunal, where the judges of all the virtues have their seat. The definition of a certain virtue is written under that column where the judges for the aforesaid virtue sit, and when a judge gives judgment he sits and speaks thus: O son, thou hast sinned against this sacred definition of beneficence, or of magnanimity, or of another virtue, as the case may be. And after discussion the judge legally condemns him to the punishment for the crime of which he is accused—viz., for injury for despondency, for pride, for ingratitude, for sloth, &c. But the sentences are certain and true correctives, savouring more of clemency than of actual punishment.

G.M. Now you ought to tell me about their priests, their sacrifices, their religion, and their belief.

Capt. The chief priest is Hoh, and it is the duty of all the superior magistrates to pardon sins. Therefore the whole state by secret confession, which we also use, tell their sins to the magistrates, who at once purge their souls and teach those that are inimical to the people. Then the sacred magistrates themselves confess their own sinfulness to the three supreme chiefs, and together they confess the faults of one another, though no special one is named, and they confess especially the heavier faults and those harmful to the state. At length the triumvirs confess their sinfulness to Hoh himself, who forthwith recognizes the kinds of sins that are harmful to the state, and succours with timely remedies. Then he offers sacrifices and prayers to God. And before this he confesses the sins of the whole people, in the presence of God, and publicly in the temple, above the altar, as often as it had been necessary that the fault should be corrected. Nevertheless, no transgressor is spoken of by his name. In this manner he absolves the people by advising them that they should beware of sins of the aforesaid kind. Afterwards he offers sacrifice to God, that He should pardon the state and absolve it of its sins, and to teach and defend it. Once in every year the chief priests of each separate subordinate state confess their sins in the presence of Hoh. Thus he is not ignorant of the wrong-doings of the provinces, and forthwith he removes them with all human and heavenly remedies.

Sacrifice is conducted after the following manner: Hoh asks the people which one among them wishes to give himself as a sacrifice to God for the sake of his fellows. He is then placed upon the fourth table, with ceremonies and the offering up of prayers: the table is hung up in a wonderful manner by means of four ropes passing through four cords attached to firm pulley-blocks in the small dome of the temple. This done they cry to the God of mercy, that He may accept the offering, not of a beast as among the heathen, but of a human being. Then Hoh orders the ropes to be drawn and the sacrifice is pulled up above to the centre of the small dome, and there it dedicates itself with the most fervent supplications. Food is given to it through a window by the priests, who live around the dome, but it is allowed a very little to eat, until it has atoned for the sins of the state. There with prayer and fasting he cries to the God of heaven that He might accept its willing offering. And after twenty or thirty days, the anger of God being appeased, the sacrifice becomes a priest, or sometimes, though rarely, returns below by means of the outer way for the priests. Ever after this man is treated with great benevolence and much honour, for the reason that he offered himself unto death for the sake of his country. But God does not require death. The priests above twenty-four years of age offer praises from their places in the top of the temple. This they do in the middle of the night, at noon, in the morning and in the evening, to wit, four times a day they sing their chants in the presence of God. It is also their work to observe the stars and to note with the astrolabe their motions and influences upon human things, and to find out their powers. Thus they know in what part of the earth any change has been or will be, and at what time it has taken place, and they send to find whether the matter be as they have it. They make a note of predictions, true and false, so that they may be able from experience to predict most correctly. The priests, moreover, determine the hours for breeding and the days for sowing, reaping, and gathering the vintage, and are as it were the ambassadors and intercessors and connection between God and man. And it is from among them mostly that Hoh is elected. They write very learned treatises and search into the sciences. Below they never descend, unless for their dinner and supper, so that the essence of their heads do not descend to the stomachs and liver. Only very seldom, and that as a cure for the ills of solitude, do they have converse with women. On certain days Hoh goes up to them and deliberates with them concerning the matters which he has lately investigated for the benefit of the state and all the nations of the world.

In the temple beneath one priest always stands near the altar praying for the people, and at the end of every hour another succeeds him, just as we are accustomed in solemn prayer to change every fourth hour. And this method of supplication they call perpetual prayer. After a meal they return thanks to God. Then they sing the deeds of the Christian, Jewish, and Gentile heroes, and of those of all other nations, and this is very delightful to them. Forsooth, no one is envious of another. They sing a hymn to Love, one to Wisdom, and one each to all the other virtues, and this they do under the direction of the ruler of each virtue. Each one takes the woman he loves most, and they dance for exercise with propriety and stateliness under the peristyles. The women wear their long hair all twisted together and collected into one knot on the crown of the head, but in rolling it they leave one curl. The men, however, have one curl only and the rest of their hair around the head is shaven off. Further, they wear a slight covering, and above this a round hat a little larger than the size of their head. In the fields they use caps, but at home each one wears a biretto white, red, or another colour according to his trade or occupation. Moreover, the magistrates use grander and more imposing-looking coverings for the head.

They hold great festivities when the sun enters the four cardinal points of the heavens, that is, when he enters Cancer, Libra, Capricorn, and Aries. On these occasions they have very learned, splendid, and as it were comic performances. They celebrate also every full and every new moon with a festival, as also they do the anniversaries of the founding of the city, and of the days when they have won victories or done any other great achievement. The celebrations take place with the music of female voices, with the noise of trumpets and drums, and the firing of salutations. The poets sing the praises of the most renowned leaders and the victories. Nevertheless, if any of them should deceive even by disparaging a foreign hero, he is punished. No one can exercise the function of a poet who invents that which is not true, and a license like this they think to be a pest of our world, for the reason that it puts a premium upon virtue and often assigns it to unworthy persons, either from fear or flattery, or ambition or avarice. For the praise of no one is a statue erected until after his death; but whilst he is alive, who has found out new arts and very useful secrets, or who has rendered great service to the state either at home or on the battle-field, his name is written in the book of heroes. They do not bury dead bodies, but burn them, so that a plague may not arise from them, and so that they may be converted into fire, a very noble and powerful thing, which has its coming from the sun and returns to it. And for the above reasons no chance is given for idolatry. The statues and pictures of the heroes, however, are there, and the splendid women set apart to become mothers often look at them. Prayers are made from the state to the four horizontal corners of the world. In the morning to the rising sun, then to the setting sun, then to the south, and lastly to the north; and in the contrary order in the evening, first to the setting sun, to the rising sun, to the north, and at length to the south. They repeat but one prayer, which asks for health of body and of mind, and happiness for themselves and all people, and they conclude it with the petition "As it seems best to God." The public prayer for all is long, and it is poured forth to heaven. For this reason the altar is round and is divided crosswise by ways at right angles to one another. By these ways Hoh enters after he has repeated the four prayers, and he prays looking up to heaven. And then a great mystery is seen by them. The priestly vestments are of a beauty and meaning like to those of Aaron. They resemble Nature and they surpass Art.

They divide the seasons according to the revolution of the sun, and not of the stars, and they observe yearly by how much time the one precedes the other. They hold that the sun approaches nearer and nearer, and therefore by ever-lessening circles reaches the tropics and the equator every year a little sooner. They measure months by the course of the moon, years by that of the sun. They praise Ptolemy, admire Copernicus, but place Aristarchus and Philolaus before him. They take great pains in endeavouring to understand the construction of the world, and whether or not it will perish, and at what time. They believe that the true oracle of Jesus Christ is by the signs in the sun, in the moon, and in the stars, which signs do not thus appear to many of us foolish ones. Therefore they wait for the renewing of the age, and perchance for its end. They say that it is very doubtful whether the world was made from nothing, or from the ruins of other worlds, or from chaos, but they certainly think that it was made, and did not exist from eternity. Therefore they disbelieve in Aristotle, whom they consider a logician and not a philosopher. From analogies, they can draw many arguments against the eternity of the world. The sun and the stars they, so to speak, regard as the living representatives and signs of God, as the temples and holy living altars, and they honour but do not worship them. Beyond all other things they venerate the sun, but they consider no created thing worthy the adoration of worship. This they give to God alone, and thus they serve Him, that they may not come into the power of a tyrant and fall into misery by undergoing punishment by creatures of revenge. They contemplate and know God under the image of the Sun, and they call it the sign of God, His face and living image, by means of which light, heat, life, and the making of all things good and bad proceeds. Therefore they have built an altar like to the Sun in shape, and the priests praise God in the sun and in the stars, as it were His altars, and in the heavens, His temple as it were; and they pray to good angels, who are, so to speak, the intercessors living in the stars, their strong abodes. For God long since set signs of their beauty in heaven, and of His glory in the Sun. They say there is but one heaven, and that the planets move and rise of themselves when they approach the sun or are in conjunction with it.

They assert two principles of the physics of things below, namely, that the Sun is the father, and the Earth the mother; the air is an impure part of the heavens; all fire is derived from the sun. The sea is the sweat of earth, or the fluid of earth combusted, and fused within its bowels; but is the bond of union between air and earth, as the blood is of the spirit and flesh of animals. The world is a great animal, and we live within it as worms live within us. Therefore we do not belong to the system of stars, sun, and earth, but to God only; for in respect to them which seek only to amplify themselves, we are born and live by chance; but in respect to God, whose instruments we are, we are formed by prescience and design, and for a high end. Therefore we are bound to no Father but God, and receive all things from Him. They hold as beyond question the immortality of souls, and that these associate with good angels after death, or with bad angels, according as they have likened themselves in this life to either. For all things seek their like. They differ little from us as to places of reward and punishment. They are in doubt whether there are other worlds beyond ours, and account it madness to say there is nothing. Nonentity is incompatible with the infinite entity of God. They lay down two principles of metaphysics, entity which is the highest God, and nothingness which is the defect of entity. Evil and sin come of the propensity to nothingness; the sin having its cause not efficient, but in deficiency. Deficiency is, they say, of power, wisdom or will. Sin they place in the last of these three, because he who knows and has the power to do good is bound also to have the will, for will arises out of them. They worship God in Trinity, saying God is the supreme Power, whence proceeds the highest Wisdom, which is the same with God, and from these comes Love, which is both Power and Wisdom; but they do not distinguish persons by name, as in our Christian law, which has not been revealed to them. This religion, when its abuses have been removed, will be the future mistress of the world, as great theologians teach and hope. Therefore Spain found the New World (though its first discoverer, Columbus, greatest of heroes, was a Genoese), that all nations should be gathered under one law. We know not what we do, but God knows, whose instruments we are. They sought new regions for lust of gold and riches, but God works to a higher end. The sun strives to burn up the earth, not to produce plants and men, but God guides the battle to great issues. His the praise, to Him the glory!

G.M. Oh, if you knew what our astrologers say of the coming age, and of our age, that has in it more history within a hundred years than all the world had in four thousand years before! Of the wonderful invention of printing and guns, and the use of the magnet, and how it all comes of Mercury, Mars, the Moon, and the Scorpion!

Capt. Ah, well! God gives all in His good time. They astrologize too much.



A FRAGMENT OF

JOSEPH HALL'S

MUNDUS ALTER ET IDEM

(THE OTHER-AND SAME WORLD)

TRANSLATED BY

DR. WILLIAM KING.



INTRODUCTORY SKETCH.

Joseph Hall was born at Bristow Park, by Ashby-de-la-Zouch, in the year 1574, and educated at Emmanuel College, Cambridge. In 1597 he published three books, and in 1598 three more books, of Satires, "Virgidemiarum, Six Bookes." These satires, with others published about the same time by Marlowe and Marston, were burnt by order of Whitgift, Archbishop of Canterbury, who had no relish for that kind of writing. Nine years later, in the year 1607, at the age of thirty-two, Hall published the satire now to be described. He was a witty and an earnest man, who rose to honour in the Church, became successively Bishop of Exeter and of Norwich; as Bishop of Norwich was in controversy with John Milton on Church Discipline; suffered patiently imprisonment and persecution from the Puritans; and closed an honourable life of more than fourscore years in 1656. He has been called by some the Christian Seneca.

His early work, the "Mundus Alter et Idem," represents an ideal world divided into regions answering to man's chief weaknesses or vices. He gave with it a map of its Crapulia, Latronia, &c., fully peopled, with a neighbouring land in which there are no signs of settlement, Terra Sancta, ignota etiam adhuc, the Holy Land, even yet unknown.

Joseph Hall's new world is also figured as an Austral Continent. They are good travellers, he says, who tell what they have seen in known lands, but he is a better who not only travels but is himself the maker of the lands he travels through. He chose his day, and went aboard the good ship Phantasy, quitted harbour, sailed away, reached in two years the Fortunate Isles, and, leaving the shores of Africa behind him, came in sight of the black headland of Crapulia.

Here Introduction ends and Travel begins with the part partly translated by Dr. King: Crapulia, named from Crapula, is the Land of Inebriate Excess, and its two provinces, Pamphagonia and Yvronia, mean by their names the provinces of Omnivorous Gluttony and Drunkenness. Dr. King has translated six chapters, and begun the seventh, which is upon the wars of the Pamphagonians, to which they march forth armed with spits and two-pronged forks and heavy ribs of beef. In their free city, Ucalegon, built near the borders of Moronia, the citizens live happy as monks. They are so well shut in by high rocks that they can laugh at enemies, and through a hollow in the rocks with softest pace creeps the river Oysivius (the Idle). There is only one way up, their rocks for the inhabitants, and that is not by zigzag steps, but by a rope and basket. Birds wholly peculiar to the place supply food by being themselves eatable, and by the great multitude of their eggs, and by the loads of fish they bring into their nests to feed their young. The citizens make to themselves also beds of the soft feathers of these birds. This valley yields to the people of Ucalegon everything except what they don't care for. They are free, therefore, to sup, sleep, rise, dine, and lie down.

Husbandry, as among the old Egyptians, consists chiefly in feeding pigs, for the husbandmen wait on the rich. One, with a gentle touch, opens the richer man's eyes when he wakes; another fans him with a flapper while he eats; another puts bits into his mouth when it opens. There are two cities under Ucalegon, Livona and Roncara (Snort and Snore), which have like privileges, except that here the inhabitants are almost always asleep, and fatten wonderfully.

These are among the laws of Crapulia:—It is a crime to drink alone. Whoever has defrauded Nature by fasting four hours after sleep shall be compelled to sup. When the mouth is full it is enough to answer questions by holding out a finger. What cook soever shall treat food so that it cannot be eaten, shall be tied to a stake beside which is hung meat half raw or half burnt, and shall remain so tied until somebody comes who will eat that meat.

No coin of metal is current in Crapulia, but they make payment in kind. Thus two sparrows are one starling, two starlings are one fieldfare, two fieldfares one hen, two hens one goose, two geese one lamb, two lambs one kid, two kids one goat, two goats one cow, and so forth.

The next chapter is on the Religion of the Crapulians. They hate Jove because his thunder turns the wine sour and he spoils ripe fruit by raining on it. Their God is Time, who eats everything.

But I hasten, says the traveller, to the palace of the Grand Duke, whither I was happily led by my genius. The first Duke must have been as large as the man two of whose teeth were dug up at Cambridge, each as big as a man's head. On his tomb is an inscription. "I Omasius, Duke of Fagonia, Lord, Victor, Prince and God lie here. No man shall say I starved, shall pass by fasting, or salute me sober. Let him be my heir who can, my subject who will, my enemy who dares. Farewell and Fatten."

After a description of the Island of Hunger, the traveller passes from Pamphagonia to Yvronia, the other province of Crapulia.

These are among the laws of Yvronia:—A cup must be either full or empty. Whoever takes or returns a cup half empty shall be guilty of lese societe. The sober man who hurts a drunkard, shall be cut off from wine for ever: if he kill a drunkard, he shall die by thirst. To walk from supper in a right line shall be criminal. He who adds water to wine shall be degraded to the table of the dogs.

Yvronia having been described in seven chapters, the traveller in this Other-and-Same World passes on to Viraginia, the land of the Viragoes. This is Gynia Nova, miswritten New Guinea. The chief of its many provinces is Linguadocia, in which Garrula is one of the famous cities. In Viraginia the traveller was at once made prisoner, but permitted to see the land after he had subscribed to certain articles, as, That in word or deed he would work no ill to the nobler sex; That he would never interpose a word when a woman was speaking; That wherever he might be he would concede domestic rule to the woman; That he would never deny to a wife any ornament of dress she looked at.

As to its form of government, the state seemed to be a democracy, in which all governed and none obeyed. They settled affairs at public meetings, in which all spoke and none listened; and they had a perpetual Parliament.

The men in Viraginia are subject to the women. When a wife leaves her house for any reason, she places the care of her husband under any other woman of the household until she returns. A husband who survives his wife, is married at once to his wife's maid, or goes into bondage to the nearest mother of a family, because it is not permitted that any man shall become master in his own house.

The women sit while the men serve, sleep when the men are roused to get up, scold them when they complain, and beat them. That day is worthy to be marked with a white stone to which men can say good-bye with a whole skin.

Contrary to the custom with us, the women in Viraginia cut their hair and let their nails grow. Some of them also practise with profit the gymnastic art, so that they can make beautiful use of teeth, nails, and heels. A nobler and more cleanly polished place is not to be seen than Viraginia, where everything is washed, cooked and cared for by the men, and there is nothing unbecoming but the garments of the men themselves.

The next land to be visited was Moronia, Foolsland, the vastest, the most uncultivated and the most populous of all these countries. To the east is Variana or Moronia Mobilis, to the north is Moronia Aspera, to the south Moronia Felix, and to the west Moronia Pia. The people are, nearly all of them, tall and fat, with palish hair, prominent lips, and very thick ears. In midwinter they go with their chests open, and the rest of the body lightly clothed, that the warmth may enter the more readily, and the cold go out of them; but in summer they put on thick overcoats and cloaks, and all the clothes they have, to shut out the heat. They shave their heads, either because they remember that they were born bald, or to allay the heat of the brain, or because the hair comes between the brain and heaven, and checks the freedom of the mind in going heavenward.

Provinces, towns and people of Moronia having been visited and fully described, the traveller through this Other-and-Same World then proceeds to describe Lavernia, the Land of Thieves and Cheats, who obtain great part of their plunder from Moronia. In this land the Larcinians require much attention. And at the end of all, adds Joseph Hall, "These men, these manners, these cities I have seen, have marvelled at, have laughed at, and at last, broken by the toils of so great a journey, have returned to my own land. PEREGRINUS, QUONDAM ACADEMICUS."

Dr. William King was born in the year 1663, son of Ezekiel King, a gentleman of London. He was educated at Westminster School and Christ Church, Oxford. He early inherited a fair estate, took his Master of Arts degree in 1688, and began his career as writer with a refutation of attacks upon Wiclif in the "History of Heresy," by M. Varillas. He then chose law for a profession, in 1692 graduated as LL.D., and was admitted an Advocate at Doctor's Commons. He kept a light heart and a lighter purse than beseemed one of his fraternity, publishing playful satires, at times showing an earnest mind under his mirth. In or soon after the year 1702 Dr. King went to Ireland as judge of the High Court of Admiralty, sole Commissioner of the Prizes, Vicar-General to the Lord Primate, and Keeper of the Records in Birmingham's Tower, in which office he was succeeded in 1708 by Joseph Addison. Dr. King, who had not increased his credit for a love of work, returned to London about that time, and following his own way of mirth began publishing "Useful Transactions in Philosophy and other sorts of learning." In 1709 he published the best of his playful poems, "The Art of Cookery, in imitation of Horace's Art of Poetry; with some letters to Dr. Lister and others, occasioned principally by the Title of a Book published by the Doctor, being the works of Apicius Coelius concerning the Soups and Sauces of the Ancients." When he came across Joseph Hall's satire, he found it so much to his mind that he began to translate as follows:—

H.M.



CRAPULIA.



CHAPTER I.

The Situation of the Country.

Crapulia is a very fair and large territory, which on the north is bounded with the AEthiopic Ocean, on the east with Laconia and Viraginia, on the south by Moronia Felix, and westward with the Tryphonian Fens. It lies in that part of the universe where is bred the monstrous bird called Ruc, that for its prey will bear off an elephant in its talons; and is described by the modern geographers.

The soil is too fruitful, and the heavens too serene; so that I have looked upon them with a silent envy, not without pity, when I considered they were blessings so little deserved by the inhabitants. It lies in seventy-four degrees of longitude, and sixty degrees of latitude, and eleven degrees distant from the Cape of Good Hope; and lies, as it were, opposite to the whole coast of Africa. It is commonly divided into two provinces, Pamphagonia and Ivronia, the former of which is of the same length and breadth as Great Britain (which I hope will not be taken as any reflection), the other is equal to the High and Low Dutch Lands. Both obey the same prince, are governed by the same laws, and differ very little in their habit or their manners.



CHAPTER II.

Pamphagonia; or, Glutton's Paradise.

Pamphagonia is of a triangular figure, like that of ancient Egypt, or the Greek letter delta, [Greek: delta]. It is mountainous, inclosed with very high hills; its soil is of the richest, so that birds which come thither to feed, if they tarry but three months, grow so very fat and weighty, that they cannot fly back again over the mountains, but suffer themselves to be taken up in the hand, and are as delicious as the ortolan or the beccaficos of the Italians. And it is no wonder to them who know that geese in Scotland are generated from leaves fallen into the water, and believe the testimony of one of our ambassadors, that in the north-east parts of the world lambs grow upon stalks like cabbages and eat up the grass all around about them, to find the same sort of provisions in this country. Besides, the fish upon that coast are in such plenty, and so voracious (whether they conform themselves to the genius of the place and people, or presage to themselves the honour of so magnificent a sepulchre as was given to Nero's turbot), that, as soon as the hook is cast in, they press to it as the ghosts in Lucian did to Charon's boat, and cling to the iron as miners do to a rope that is let down when the light of their candle forbodes some malignant exhalation.

The sea-ports, with which this country abounds more than any other, are of no other use than to receive and take in such things as are edible, which they have for their superfluous wool and hides: nor may the inhabitants export anything that has the least relation to the palate. You see nothing there but fruit-trees. They hate plains, limes, and willows, as being idle and barren, and yielding nothing useful but their shade. There are hops, pears, plums, and apples, in the hedge-rows, as there is in all Ivronia; from whence the Lombards, and some counties in the west of England, have learned their improvements. In ancient times, Frugonia, or the Land of Frugality, took in this country as one of its provinces; and histories tell us, that, in Saturn's time, the Frugonian princes gave laws to all this part of the world, and had their palace there; and that their country was called Fagonia, from the simplicity of their diet, which consisted only in beech-mast. But that yoke has been long ago shaken off; their manners are wholly changed, and, from the universality of their food, they have obtained, in their own country language, the title of Pamphagones.



CHAPTER III.

The First Province of Pamphagonia.

Friviandy, or Tight-bittia (that we may take the provinces in their order), were it not for a temperament peculiar to the place, is rather of the hottest to produce those who are properly called good trencher-men. Its utmost point, which other geographers call the Promontory of the Terra Australis, is of the same latitude as the most southerly parts of Castile, and is about forty-two degrees distant from the equator. The inhabitants have curled hair and dusky complexions, and regard more the delicacy than the largeness and number of their dishes. In this very promontory, which we shall call the black one from its colour (for it is a very smoky region, partly from the frequent vapours of the place, partly from its vicinity to the Terra del Fogo, which, by the common consent of geographers, lies on the right hand of it, but rather nearer than they have placed it), is the city Lucina, whose buildings are lofty, but apt to be smoky and offensive to the smell; from whence a colony went, perhaps, as far as the Indies, where it remains to this day by the name of Cochin-China.

Here is the famous temple of the great deity Omasius Gorgut, or Gorbelly. It is a vast pile, and contains a thousand hearths, and as many altars, which are constantly employed in the Rucal Festivals. In the midst is a high pyramid, as lofty as the hand of man can erect it, little inferior to those of Memphis. It is called the Cheminean Tower. This, rising high, gives the signal of war to the adjoining countries: for, as we by beacons lighted upon a high hill discover the danger of an approaching enemy, so these, on the contrary, do the same by letting their smoke cease and their fires go out: for, when the perpetual vapour ceases to roll forth in thick and dark clouds of smoke, it is a token that the Hambrians are drawing nearer, than whom there can be no enemy more terrible to this nation. There are several smaller towns, that lie under the dominion of this supreme city. Charbona is the largest village, and, what is seldom seen elsewhere, lies all under ground. Upon its barren soil arises another, though of less note, called Favillia. After these lies Tenaille, a narrow town, and Batillu, a broad one, both considerable. On the left are some subservient petty hamlets, as Assadora, Marmitta, Culliera, as useful for the reception of strangers, amongst which, that of Marmitta is watered by the river Livenza; which, as is said of a fountain in the Peak of Derby, boils over twice in four-and-twenty hours.



CHAPTER IV.

The Second Province of Pamphagonia.

Next to this is the Golosinian district, the most pleasant part of Pamphagonia, covered with dates, almonds, figs, olives, pomegranates, oranges, citrons, and pistaches; through which run the smoothest of streams, called the Oglium. Here is the beautiful city of Marzapane, with noble turrets glittering with gold, but lying too open to the enemy. Over it hang the Zucker hills, out of whose bowels they draw something that is hard, white, and sparkling, but sweet as that moisture which the ancients gathered out of the reeds which grew in Arabia and the Indies. You shall find few people here, who are grown up, but what have lost their teeth, and have stinking breaths. Near to this is the little city Seplasium, which admits of no tradesmen but perfumers. It is a town of great commerce with the people of Viraginia, especially the Locanians, who use to change their looking-glass with them for oils and pastils. The agreeableness of the place, and the bounty of the heavens, is favourable to their art; for the whole track of land, at certain seasons, is covered with aromatic comfits, that fall like hail-stones: which Anathumiasis I take to be essentially the same as that aerial honey which we often find upon our oaks, especially in the spring, and that it differs only in thickness; for whereas that honey is sprinkled in drops, the little globules are hardened by the intense cold of the middle region, and rebound in falling.



CHAPTER V.

Of the Third Province of Pamphagonia.

In the fifty-fifth degree, we come into the plains of Lecania, and so into the very heart of Pamphagonia, where the chief city we meet with is Cibinium, which is washed with the acid streams of the river Assagion. In the forum, or market-place, is the tomb (as I conjecture by the footsteps of some letters now remaining) of Apicius, that famous Roman, not very beautiful, but antique. It is engraved upon the shell of a sea-crab; and it might happen, notwithstanding what Seneca says, that this famous epicure, after having sought for larger shell-fish than the coast of Gallia could supply him with, and then going in vain to Africa to make a farther inquiry, might hear some rumour concerning this coast, steer his course thither, and there die of a surfeit. But this I leave to the critics. Here I shall only mention the most fertile fields of Lardana and Ossulia. The delicious situation of Mortadella, the pleasantest of places, had wonderfully delighted me, had it not been for the salt-works which often approach too near it. There is an offensive stinking town called Formagium, alias Butterboxia, and Mantica, a boggy place near the confines of Ivronia.

I hasten to the metropolis of the whole region, which, whether you respect the uniformity of the building, the manners of the people, or their way of living, their rules for behaviour, their law and justice, will show as much as if I were to descend to particulars.



CHAPTER VI.

Of the Metropolis of Pamphagonia, and the Customs of the Inhabitants.

There are but very few villages in this country, as well as in some others; from whence a traveller may conjecture, that the country towns are devoured by the cities, which are not so many in number as they are large and populous; of which the mother and governess is called Artocreopolis. The report goes, that in ancient times there were two famous cities, Artopolis and Creatium, which had many and long contests about the superiority: for so it happens to places, as well as men, that increase in power; insomuch as the two most flourishing Universities in the world (to both of which I bear the relation of a son, though I am more peculiarly obliged to one of them for my education), notwithstanding they are sisters, could not abstain from so ungrateful a contention.

Artopolis boasted of its antiquity, and that it had flourished in the Saturnian age, when it had as yet no rival. Creatium set forth its own splendour, pleasantness, and power. At last, a council being called, Creatium got the preference by the universal votes of the assembly; for such is the iniquity of the times, that though the head be covered with grey hairs, yet nothing is allowed to the reverence of antiquity, when encountered by a proud and upstart novelty. The other city is now so far neglected, that the ruins or footsteps of its magnificence are scarce remaining, any more than of Verulam, as is most elegantly set forth by our noble poet Spenser in his verses on that subject; the latter usurping the name of the other, as well as the other has now the double title of Artocreopolis. The city is more extensive than beautiful: it is fortified with a large and deep ditch of running water, which washes almost all the streets, wherein are a thousand several ponds for fish; upon which swim ducks, geese, swans, and all sorts of water-fowl, which has been wisely imitated by the people of Augsburg. This ditch is called Gruessa. There are two walls, whose materials were furnished by the flesh-market; for they are made of bones, the larger serving for the foundations, the lesser for the superstructure, whilst the smallest fill up what is wanting in the middle; being all cemented with the whites of eggs, by a wonderful artifice. The houses are not very beautiful, nor built high after the manner of other cities; so that there is no need of an Augustus to restrain the buildings to the height of seventy feet, as was done at Rome; nor is there room for a Seneca or Juvenal to complain of the multitude of their stairs and number of their stories.

They have no regard for staircases; for indeed none of the citizens care for them, partly from the trouble of getting up them (especially when, as they often do, they have drunk heartily) as much as for the danger of getting down again. Their houses are all covered with large blade-bones, very neatly joined together. There are no free citizens admitted, but such whose employment has more immediately some relation to the table. Husbandmen, smiths, millers, and butchers, live in their colonies, who, when they have a belly of an unwieldy bulk, are promoted to be burgesses; to which degree none were anciently admitted but cooks, bakers, victuallers, and the gravest senators, who are chosen here, as in other places, not for their prudence, riches, or length of beard; but for their measure, which they must come up to yearly if they will pretend to bear any office in the public. As any one grows in dimensions, he rises in honour; so that I have seen some who, from the meanest and most contemptible village, have, for their merits, been promoted to a more famous town, and at last obtained the senatorial dignity in this most celebrated city: and yet, when by some disease (as it often happens), or by age, they have grown leaner than they are allowed to be by the statutes, have lost their honour, together with the bulk of their carcass. Their streets were paved with polished marble; which seemed strange amongst a people so incurious, both because the workmanship was troublesome, and there might be danger in its being slippery. But the true reason of it was, that they might not be forced to lift their feet higher than ordinary by the inequality of the pavement, and likewise that the chairs of the senators might the more easily be pushed forward; for they never go on foot, or on horseback, nor even in a coach, to the exchange, or their public feasts, because of their weight; but they are moved about in great easy elbow-chairs, with four wheels to them, and continue sitting so fixed, in the same posture, snoring and flabbering till they are wheeled home again.

At the four gates of the city, whose form is circular, there sit in their turns as many senators, who are called Buscadores. These carefully examine all who come in and go out, those that go out, lest they should presume by chance to do it fasting, which they can easily judge of by the extent of their bellies, and the matter being proved, they are fined in a double supper: those that come in, to see what they bring with them upon their return; for they must neither depart with empty stomachs, nor come back with empty hands. Every month, according to the laws, which they unwillingly transgress, there are stated feasts, at which all the senators are obliged to be present, that after dinner (for no person can give his vote before he has dined) they may deliberate concerning the public affairs. The name of their common-hall is Pythanoscome. Every one knows his own seat, and his conveniences and a couch to repose upon when the heat of their wine and seasoned dainties incline them to it. Their greatest delicacies are served up at the first course; for they think it foolish not to eat the best things with the greatest appetite: nor do they cut their boars, sheep, goats, and lambs into joints or quarters, as commonly we do, but convey them whole to table, by the help of machines, as I remember to have read in Petronius Arbiter. They are fineable who rise before they have set six hours; for then the edge of their stomach is blunted. They eat and drink so leisurely, for the same reason as the famous Epicure of old wished that his neck were as long as a crane's. They measure the seasonable time for their departure after this method: they have a door to their town-house, which is wide enough for the largest man to enter when he is fasting: through this the guests pass; and when any one would depart, if he stops in this passage, he is trusted to go out at another door; but if it be as easy as if he were fasting, the master of the ceremonies makes him tarry till he comes to be of a statutable magnitute: after which example, Willfrid's needle in Belvior Castle was a pleasant trial of Roman Catholic sanctity. They have gardens of many acres extent, but not like those of Adonis or Alcinoues; for nothing delightful is to be expected in them, neither order, nor regularity of walk, nor grass-plots, nor variety of flowers in the borders: but you will find all planted with cabbages, turnips, garlick, and musk-melons, which were carried hence to Italy, and are in quantity sufficient to feast an hundred Pythagoreans.

There is a public college, or hospital, whither they are sent who have got the dropsy, gout, or asthma, by their eating and drinking; and there they are nourished at the public expense. As for such as have lost their teeth by their luxury, or broken them by eating too greedily or incautiously, they are provided for in the island of Sorbonia. All the richer sort have several servants, in the nature of vassals, to cultivate their gardens, and be employed in inferior offices, who have their liberty when they can arrive at such a bulkiness. If any of the grandees of the country die of a surfeit, he is given, as being all made up of the most exquisite dainties, to be eaten up by his servants; and this they do that nothing should be lost that is so delicate. The men are thick and fat to a miracle; nor will any one salute another whose chin does not come to the midst of his breast, and his paunch falls to his knees. The women are not unlike them, and in shape resemble the Italians, and have breasts like the Hottentots. They go almost naked, having no regard to their garments. The magistrates and persons of better figure have gowns made of the skins of such beasts as they have eaten at one meal. All wear a knife, with a large spoon, hanging upon their right arm. Before their breasts they wear a smooth skin, instead of a napkin, to receive what falls out of their mouths, and to wipe them upon occasion; which whether it be more black or greasy, is hard to determine.

They are of a very slow apprehension, and no way fit for any science; but yet understand such arts as they have occasion for. Their schools are public-houses, where they are educated in the sciences of eating, drinking, and carving; over which, one Archisilenius, an exquisite Epicure, was then provost, who, instead of grammar, read some fragments of Apicius. Instead of a library, there is a public repository of drinking-vessels, in which cups of all orders and sizes are disposed into certain classes. Cups and dishes are instead of books. The younger scholars have less, the elder have greater; one has a quart, the other a pottle, the other a gallon: this has a hen, that a goose, a third a lamb or a porker: nor have they any liberty, or recess, till the whole is finished; and if by a seven years' stuffing they are no proficients in fatness, are presently banished into the Fancetic Islands; nor are they suffered long to stay there idle and without improvement. Hither likewise are sent all physicians who prescribe a course of diet to any person. When any one is sick, without recourse to AEsculapius, they make him eat radish, and drink warm water; which, according to Celsus, will purge and vomit him. Venison is that which they most delight in; but they never take it in hunting, but by nets and gins. They look upon the swine as the most profitable and best of all animals; whether it is for the likeness of its manners, as being good for nothing but the table, or else from its growing fat on the sudden with the worst of nutriment. It may not seem credible, yet parsimony appears in the midst of their profuseness: but then it is very ill placed, for it is in crumbs, bones, and crusts. They do not so much as keep any dogs, cats, hawks, or anything that eats flesh. If any person suffer meat to stink, he is impaled; but venison and rabbits are to have the haut-gout: and then their cheese is kept till it is overrun with little animals, which they devour with mustard and sugar. This is an odd sort of custom, derived from the Dutch.

The country abounds with rivers, which ebb and flow according to their digestion, and generally overflow at the beginning of January, and towards the end of February, and do mischief to the neighbouring country.



CHAPTER VII.

Of the Wars of the Pamphagonians.

The Pamphagones have perpetual wars with the Hambrians, or the Fancetic Islands, and the Frugonians.

* * * * *

Caetera desunt.

THE END.

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