If the ceremony is performed at the house of the parents, a carriage must be sent to the house of the clergyman to convey him to the house of the parents, and wait until after the ceremony, to convey him home again. It is extremely rude to expect a clergyman to provide his own conveyance, or to walk.

Friends invited to a christening usually carry some gift to the babe; gentlemen a gift of silver, and ladies some pretty piece of needlework.

If the ceremony is performed in the house of the parents, or if the guests return there from the church, the only refreshments required by etiquette are cake and wine.

The father of the child usually gives a present of money to the nurse who carries the babe to the church.

It is not etiquette to remain long at a christening; and it is better taste for the infant to be removed to the nursery as soon as the ceremony is over. To keep a weary mother sitting up entertaining guests, or a cross, tired child on exhibition, are either of them in bad taste.

For a guest to show any annoyance if a child cries loudly, or is in any way troublesome, is the height of rudeness. Remarks or even frowns are forbidden entirely, even if the infant screams so as to make the voice of the clergyman entirely inaudible.

Etiquette requires that the babe be praised if it is shown to the guests, even if it is a little monster of pink ugliness. Ladies, especially mothers, will see something beautiful, if only its helpless innocence, and gentlemen must behold infantile graces, if they cannot actually behold them. "Mother's darling" must be the great attraction at a christening, if it only improves the occasion by a succession of yells.

ETIQUETTE FOR FUNERALS.

WHEN the saddest of all the ceremonies of this life calls forth the sympathy of friends and relatives, there are many little points the observance of which evinces a delicate consideration for the mourners, and a respect for the melancholy occasion.

In entering the house of mourning, a gentleman must remove his hat in the hall, and not replace it while in the house.

Loud talking in the chamber of death is a rudeness which shows not only a want of respect for the dead, but a want of consideration for the grief of the survivors.

All quarrels must be forgotten in the presence of death. Enemies who meet at a funeral are bound by etiquette, if not by feeling, to salute each other with quiet gravity.

Whilst the body of the dead remains in the house, no visitor must expect to see the members of the bereaved family, and no offence may be taken if admission is refused to the nearest friends.

The formalities necessary upon the death of a member of a family entail upon the survivors many painful interviews, many directions, and often most harrowing discussions. It is, therefore, customary to entrust these details to some relative or friend, who, while near enough to carefully direct the affairs, is yet able to bear the trying details better than the members of the immediate family. It is best to select some one accustomed to the discharge of this duty, and more prudent to name a limit for the expenses.

Where there are no funeral arrangements made in the will, the person taking this charge may ask one interview with the nearest relative, but after that, relieve them of all care in the matter. If there is no friend who can undertake these trying duties, it is then customary to make the undertaker the master of the painful ceremonies.

To surround the funeral ceremonies with great parade and pomp is usually more of a vain and ostentatious display than an act of respect towards the dead; at the same time, any meanness or parsimony is in bad taste. The expenses should be governed by the position of the deceased, and the means of the survivors.

If invitations are sent out, it is customary to have a number printed, and sent to the friends. The following is the usual form:

"You are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of J. J. C, on Wednesday, the 24th of May, 18-, at 10 o'clock A.M., from his late residence, No. 174 street. To proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery."

Or, if the services are not at the house:

"You are respectfully invited to attend the funeral of J. J. C, from the church of the Incarnation, on Wednesday, the 24th of May, at 10 o'clock A.M. To proceed to Laurel Hill Cemetery."

It is contrary to the rules of etiquette to send these invitations by post.

A list of the persons invited must be given to the person directing the funeral ceremonies, and he will give the undertaker a list of the order in which the guests are to be placed in the carriages, if the funeral leaves the city, or the order of the procession if the guests go to the grave on foot.

If the invitation is given through the newspapers, the words "Without further notice" must be added, and the guests will not expect another invitation. The list is then omitted, and no especial order observed in placing the guests in carriages or procession.

Guests invited to a funeral must not present themselves before the hour appointed, when the corpse is generally exposed for the last gaze of the friends. It is customary for the family to pay their last visit to the coffin just before that hour, and all intrusion is against the customs of society.

The corpse usually is exposed in a drawing-room, and the family assemble in another apartment, if the services are to be conducted in church, and the guests go from the house there. If, however, the guests are invited to meet the funeral in church, the coffin is usually placed in front of the chancel, with the lid removed, and friends pass, from the feet to the head, up one aisle and down another, after the services are over.

If the guests assemble at the house of the deceased, it is customary for some near relative, not of the immediate family, to receive them, and do the honors of the occasion.

The ladies of the family are never expected to see the guests at a funeral; but it is optional with the gentlemen. Strict etiquette at the present day denies the ladies of the family the privilege of following the corpse from the house; but it is a custom "more honored in the breach than in the observance."

When the funeral procession is ready to start, the clergyman leaves the house first, and enters a carriage, which precedes the hearse. Then follows the coffin, which is placed in the hearse; the next carriage is for the immediate family and relatives. Guests stand uncovered while these mourners pass them, no salutation being expected.

The gentleman who does the honors should precede the family as they pass from their room to the carriages, assist them in, close the door, and motion the driver to move slowly forward, and to the next carriage to drive up to the door.

The same order is observed at the church door, where the master of ceremonies assists the mourners to leave and re-enter the carriages.

When the private carriage of the deceased follows the hearse, it should be empty, and precede the other carriages.

If the friends go on foot, and the weather is cold, the gentlemen may wear their hats; but if the weather is mild, it is customary to walk uncovered, with the hat in the right hand.

If the hat is worn, it must be removed as the coffin passes from the hearse to the church, when the guests form a double line, down which it is carried, and the same line and observance must be made after the service, as the coffin is carried from the church to the hearse again.

If lady friends attend a funeral, if they are not in mourning, they should wear grave, quiet colors. To go to a funeral in a gay dress is insulting.

Upon the coffin of an infant or young person, it is customary to place a wreath of white flowers.

Upon the coffin of a married person, a cross of white flowers is usually placed.

Upon the coffin of an army or navy officer, the hat, epaulets, sword, and sash are placed, and it is customary to use the flag to cover the coffin.

A sufficient number of carriages should be provided to carry all invited guests to the cemetery. At the cemetery, the priest or clergyman walks in advance of the coffin, and the others alight from the carriages and stand around the grave.

After the carriages leave the cemetery, it is not customary for the guests to return to the house of the mourners; but each may, on re-entering the carriage, direct the driver, in a low tone, where to drive him.

The family physician, if able to attend the funeral, should have a seat in the carriage following that of the immediate family.

The carriage must be sent for the priest or clergyman in time for him to be punctually at the house at the appointed hour.

If gifts of flowers are sent to the mourners, they must be white only, and sent on the day of the funeral early enough to be used in the decoration of the coffin.

If pall-bearers are invited, they must be immediate friends of the deceased.

It is a foreign custom of much beauty and significance to select young children for pall-bearers for infants and children, dressing them in white, and draping the coffin in white, trimmed with silver fringe and cords.

If gloves and crape bands are distributed to the gentlemen guests, they must be handed them when they first enter the house. It is a gross violation of etiquette to make any selection in such cases; nobody expects to have gloves so given as to fit the hands; but they must be worn. It is far more elegant to present yourself already provided with black kid gloves on your hands, and allow the undertaker to provide you only with the crape.

Friends in deep mourning are not expected to pay visits of condolence, and are excused from accepting funeral invitations; but all others are expected to accept them. It is but a poor compliment to your friends to attend their dinners, receptions, balls, and parties, and refuse to be present when they are in affliction, or to pay the last act of respect to the memory of those they love.

During the week following a funeral, friends should leave their cards for the family of the deceased, and call again about a fortnight later, asking then to see the members of the family.

It is not customary to ask to see the family of a deceased friend before the funeral; but cards should be sent, and offers of service sent by note.

The lady friend nearest the family, or a relative not of the immediate family, is the proper person to purchase the mourning for the ladies of the family, and the gentleman friend or relative that for the gentlemen.

No member of the immediate family of the deceased should leave the house between the death and the funeral upon any errand or pretext.

At the funeral of a mounted officer, his horse, fully equipped, and draped in mourning, should be led by a servant after the hearse.

If the deceased belonged to any society, as Free Masons, Odd Fellows, or such organization, the society should be invited through a note sent to the President, and they will send word to the master of ceremonies if there is any especial order in which they wish to follow the corpse, or any form or ceremony peculiar to that order which they would like observed. These invitations, if given through the newspapers, should carefully specify the lodge or order to which the deceased belonged. The regalia in such cases is usually displayed on the coffin-lid, but removed before the coffin leaves the house.

White plumes are customary on the hearse of a young person, and black ones for married and elderly people.

It is not customary to send invitations to the funeral of a person who has died of contagious disease, and the statement of the malady in the newspapers is generally accepted by the friends as an excuse for the omission of invitations.

In visiting a cemetery, it is an act of rudeness to stand near a lot where mourners are assembled, or in any way to notice those who are decorating the graves of friends. No time can be named when the delicate attentions and observances of etiquette are more grateful than when sorrow is heavy on the heart,

ETIQUETTE OF THE STUDIO.

THERE are a few rules of etiquette applicable to visitors to artists' studios, which it will be well to note, the more so because they are special, and might not suggest themselves, as a matter of course, even to those to whom Nature presented the whole code of etiquette when she gave them a gentle disposition.

It is not etiquette to ask an artist the price of his pictures at sight.

If a visitor sees a painting or a piece of statuary which he wishes to possess, he asks simply that he may have the refusal of it; or he says to the artist: "I wish to have this picture, if it is not disposed of." After leaving the studio, the visitor writes and asks the price, of which he is informed by the artist, in writing. Should the price be larger than the would-be purchaser is disposed to give, he writes again to that effect, and it is no breach of etiquette to name the sum which he wished to spend upon the work of art. This gives an opportunity to the artist of lowering his price.

It is not customary, however, to haggle about the sum, and the correspondence should not be carried farther than above, except it be an intimation from the artist that he will accept the terms of the purchaser, and that the picture is subject to his order, and will be sent to him on further instructions.

Some portrait painters have a practice which, for obvious reasons, cannot be adopted by painters of general subjects. They have a card hung up in a conspicuous part of the studio, showing the price at which they will execute portraits of the sizes given. At the bottom of this card there is generally an intimation that half the price must be paid after the first sitting, the remainder when the portrait is completed.

This practice saves time and trouble, and it would be well if other artists could adopt some system whereby the price of such paintings as they may have for sale might be made known to visitors. But the price of a fancy picture is to be ascertained by the artist only by what it will bring, and it is quite likely that the wealth of the buyer, or his known admiration for good paintings, may reasonably make a difference in the sum asked by the artist, who might ask a lower price of a man whom he knew could not afford so much. There is nothing wrong in this, for an artist has as much right to get as much more than the minimum price of his picture as anybody else has to get the best price for his labor or his merchandise.

Portrait painting is, however, pretty much a repetition of the same sort of work, and the artist would be the last man in the world to admit that there could be such difference in the execution of the work as to warrant a scale of prices in conformity therewith.

It is not etiquette to visit the studio of an artist excepting by special invitation, and then only at the hours he may appoint. To go at any other time is ill-bred; for although he may be there, he will probably be unwilling to be disturbed at his work.

It is ill-bred to take a young child to visit the studio of an artist, as there are generally articles there of value and easily broken or soiled; and even if the child is well trained, the owner of such articles would be in terror lest they should be ruined.

It is excessively ill-bred to criticize harshly, in the presence of an artist, the works displayed in his studio. Extravagant praise is also in bad taste. A few cordial words of praise and pleasure should, of course, be spoken, and a friend may sometimes point out where improvements could be made; but it is a thankless task generally, and it is in much better taste to leave all criticism to the public journals, when the paintings are on public exhibition.

It is against the rules of etiquette to keep an artist waiting, if you are sitting for a portrait. His time is of value to him, whatever yours may be to you; and it is equally rude to detain him after the sitting is over. His politeness may hinder him from even hinting to you that you are trespassing upon his hours for work, though he may be fretting silently at your rudeness in so doing.

It is contrary to the rules of etiquette to look around a studio in which you may be sitting for a portrait, unless you are invited by an artist to do so. It is against the rules of etiquette to ask to see an unfinished picture, even if it is one that is being painted by your own order.

To uncover any picture or article in a studio that may be veiled or hidden from view is extremely rude. It is equally so to turn a picture that is hung to face the wall, or standing facing it.

Gentlemen must never smoke in a studio, unless especially invited by the artist to do so.

To whisper in a studio is excessively ill-bred; for although you may make a remark entirely independent of what is around you, you may rest assured you will have the credit of having ridiculed or censured some of the pictures you have been invited to examine.

To behave in a studio as if you were in a store, pricing pictures, inquiring about what is for public exhibition, what is not; who ordered this picture or that; whose portrait this or that may be; or in any way reminding the artist that his genius is merchandise, is rude and indelicate.

It is against the rules of etiquette to handle the pictures or other articles in a studio.

It is extremely rude, if an artist continues his employment during a visit to his studio, for the visitor to stand behind him, or very near him, or in any way to seem to watch his work.

TABLE ETIQUETTE.

IT is impossible for a lady or gentleman to act with perfect ease and graceful manner at table when in company, at a hotel or any public place, unless they habitually pay attention to those minor points of etiquette, which form so distinctive a mark of perfectly good breeding. Habitual neglect of the courtesies and etiquette of the table will make them appear awkward restraints upon occasions when they are important. If the father or mother of a family accustom the children, by example as well as precept, to be attentive and polite to each other at every meal, they need never fear that they will shame them by rudeness or awkwardness when they go abroad.

Even when a person habitually eats alone, it is better to do so gracefully and with attention to the rules of etiquette, that habits of awkwardness may not be formed, which it will be difficult to shake off when in company.

To make noises when eating, sucking soup with a gurgling sound, chewing meat noisily, swallowing as if with an effort, smacking the lips, or breathing heavily while masticating food, are all marks of low breeding.

It is a bad habit to put large pieces of food into the mouth. If you are addressed suddenly with your mouth so filled, you are obliged to make an awkward pause before answering, or to run the risk of choking by swallowing the great mouthful too hastily.

Never open the napkin entirely, but let it lie on the lap, partly folded.

Sit neither very near nor very far from the table.

It is rude to move your arms at table so as to incommode those on either side of you.

Ladies should, after seating themselves, endeavor to draw their skirts into a space that will not crowd those seated beside them.

To lean back in the chair is rude, and surely no gentleman would ever be guilty of tipping his chair at table. Sit erect, not stiffly, but in an easy position.

Bread must always be broken, never cut, and certainly never bitten.

If a plate is sent to you filled with the food you have selected, keep it, as others may not have the same choice; if the plate contain one dish, such as pie or pudding, you may pass it on to those beside you, and wait till others above you are served before reserving a plate for yourself.

To eat very fast is inelegant; to eat very slowly bears an air of affectation. Try to preserve the happy medium.

It is a good plan to accustom yourself to eat with the left hand, and thus avoid shifting your knife and fork from one hand to the other.

A gentleman will always see that ladies are served before eating himself,

Avoid making any noise on your plate with your knife and fork.

It is against all rules of etiquette to soak up gravy with bread, to scrape up sauce with a spoon, or to take up bones with the fingers.

Never cross the knife and fork on a plate until you have finished eating. Never hold your knife and fork erect in your hands at each side of your plate, when conversing at the table.

Never ask for a second helping. It is the duty of those at the head and foot of the table to offer it.

To blow soup to cool it, or to pour tea or coffee into a saucer for the same purpose, are acts of awkwardness never seen in polite society. Wait until they are cool enough to be pleasant.

Use the salt-spoon, butter-knife, and sugar-tongs even when you are alone.

If you want to cough, sneeze, or blow your nose, leave the table. If you have not time, turn away your head, and lean back in your chair.

To pass a plate with a knife or fork upon it, or a cup with a spoon in it, are acts of rudeness. Put your spoon in the saucer, and your knife and fork on the table, until you are served.

Never hurry away from the table as soon as you finish eating, if others remain to converse. If you are obliged to leave before a meal is finished or immediately after, ask to be excused for so doing, and apologize for the necessity.

Never mention at the table any subject that is likely to disgust others. It is a piece of rudeness only too common, and is to be severely censured. Many who are utterly without affectation are really sensitive on such points, and their meal and comfort are both spoiled if disgusting associations are suggested at table.

At home, if you use a napkin-ring, fold your napkin and replace it in the ring when you have done with it. If you are dining out, never fold your napkin, but place it beside your plate.

None but a clown would use the table-cloth for a napkin, pick his teeth with his fork, put his fingers in his plate, or wipe his face with his napkin.

If you are unfortunate enough to find anything disgusting in your food—a hair in the soup, a coal in the bread, a worm in the fruit, or a fly in your coffee—do not loudly exclaim, or disturb the appetite of others by mention of your mishap. Remove the disgusting object quietly, or change your cup or plate without remark.

The French poet, Delille, tells of an interview between himself and Marmoutel, which rather humorously points out how table etiquette may change.

Delille and Marmoutel were dining together, in the month of April, 1786; and the conversation happened to turn upon dinner table customs. Marmoutel observed how many little things a well-bred man was obliged to know, if he would avoid being ridiculous at the table of his friends.

"They are, indeed, innumerable," said Delille, "and the most annoying fact of all is, that not all the wit and good sense in the world can help one to divine them untaught. A little while ago, for instance, the Abbe Cosson, who is Professor of Literature at College Mazarin, was describing to me a grand dinner to which he had been invited at Versailles, and to which he had sat down in the company of peers, princes, and marshals of France.

"'I'll wager now,' said I,'that you committed a hundred blunders in the etiquette of the table.'

"'How so?' replied the Abbe, somewhat nettled. 'What blunders could I make? It seems to me that I did precisely as others did.'

"'And I, on the contrary, would stake my life that you did nothing as others did. But let us begin at the beginning, and see which is right. In the first place, there was your table napkin—what did you do with that when you sat down to table?'

"'What did I do with my table napkin? Why, I did like the rest of the guests: I shook it out of the folds, spread it before me, and fastened one corner to my button-hole.'

"'Very well, mon cher, you were the only person who did so. No one shakes, spreads, and fastens a table napkin in that manner. You should have only laid it across your knees. What soup had you?'

"'Turtle.'

"'And how did you eat it ?'

"'Like every one else, I suppose. I took my spoon in one hand and my fork in the other.'

"'Your fork? Good heavens! None but a savage eats soup with a fork. But go on. What did you take next?'

"'A boiled egg.'

"'Good. And what did you do with the shell?'

"'Not eat it, certainly. I left it, of course, in the egg-cup.'

"'Without breaking it through with your spoon?'

"'Without breaking it.'

"'Then, my dear fellow, permit me to tell you that no one eats an egg without breaking the shell, and leaving the spoon standing in it. And after your egg?'

"'I asked for some boulli.'

"'For boulli!' It is a term that no one uses. You should have asked for beef; never for bouilli. Well, and after the bouilli?'

"'I asked the Abbe de Badenvillais for some fowl.'

"'Wretched man! Fowl indeed! You should have asked for chicken or capon. The word "fowl" is never heard out of the kitchen. But all this applies only to what you ate; tell me something of what you drank, and how you asked for it.'

"'I asked for Champagne and Bordeaux from those who had the bottles before them.'

"'Know, then, my good friend, that only a waiter, who has no time or breath to spare, asks for Champagne or Bordeaux. A gentleman asks for Vin de Champagne and Vin de Bordeaux. But now inform me how you ate your bread.'

"'Undoubtedly like all the rest of the world: I cut it up into small square pieces with my knife.'

"'Then let me tell you that no one cuts bread; you should always break it. Let us go on to the coffee. How did you drink yours?'

"'Pshaw! At least, I could make no mistake in that. It was boiling hot; so I poured it, a little at a time, in the saucer, and drank it as it cooled.'

"'Eh bien! Then you assuredly acted as no other gentleman in the room. Nothing can be more vulgar than to pour tea or coffee into a saucer. You should have waited till it cooled, and then have drunk it from the cup. And now you see, my dear cousin, that so far from doing precisely as the others did, you acted in no one respect according to the laws prescribed by etiquette.'"

ETIQUETTE WITH CHILDREN.

IT is against the rules of strict etiquette to take a child when making formal calls, as they are a restraint upon conversation, even if they are not troublesome about touching forbidden articles, or teasing to go home.

Never take a child to a funeral, either to the house of mourning or to the cemetery.

Never allow a child to take a meal at a friend's house without special invitation. It is impossible to know how much she may be inconvenienced, while her regard for the mother would deter her from sending the little visitor home again.

Never allow a child to handle goods in a store.

Never send for children to meet visitors in the drawing-room, unless the visitors themselves request to see them. Make their stay then very brief, and be careful that they are not troublesome.

Never take a child to church until it is old enough to remain perfectly quiet. Although you may be accustomed to its restless movements, and not disturbed by them, others near you will certainly feel annoyed by them.

It is not etiquette to put a child to sleep in the room of a guest, nor to allow children to go at all to a guest's room, unless especially invited to do so, and even then to make long stay there.

Etiquette excludes children from all companies given to grown persons, from all parties and balls, excepting such as are given especially given for their pleasure.

When invited to walk or drive, never take a child, unless it has been invited, or you have requested permission to do so; even in the latter case, the consent is probably given more from good nature than from any desire to have a juvenile third to the party.

Never crowd children into pic-nic parties, if they have not been invited. They generally grow weary and very troublesome before the day is over.

Never take a child to spend the day with a friend unless it has been included in the invitation.

Never allow children to be in the drawing room if strangers are present.

Never allow children to handle the ornaments in the drawing room of a friend.

Never allow a child to pull a visitor's dress, play with the jewelry or ornaments she may wear, take her parasol or satchel for a plaything, or in any way annoy her.

Train children early to answer politely when addressed, to avoid restless, noisy motions when in company, and gradually inculcate a love of the gentle courtesies of life. By making the rules of etiquette habitual to them, you remove all awkwardness and restraint from their manners when they are old enough to go into society.

Never send a child to sit upon a sofa with grown people, unless they express a desire to have it do so.

Never crowd a child into a carriage seat between two grown people.

Never allow a child to play with a visitor's hat or cane.

If children are talented, be careful you do not weary your friends, and destroy their own modesty by "showing them off," upon improper occasions. What may seem wonderful to an interested mother, may be an unutterable weariness to a guest, too polite to allow the mother to perceive the incipient yawn.

Never allow children to visit upon the invitation of other children. When they are invited by the older members of the family, it is time to put on their "best bibs and tuckers."

Never take children to a house of mourning, even if you are an intimate friend.

The custom for having children in the drawing-room for morning or evening parties, or in the dining-room with the dessert at dinner companies, is not only often an annoyance to the guests, but bad for the children themselves.

It is one of the first duties of parents to train their children at home as they would have them appear abroad. An English lady writes thus:

"If, then, we desire that our children shall become ladies and gentlemen, can we make them so, think you, by lavishing money upon foreign professors, dancing-masters, foreign travel, tailors, and dressmakers? Ah, no! good breeding is far less costly, and begins far earlier than those things. Let our little ones be nurtured in an atmosphere of gentleness and kindness from the nursery upwards; let them grow up in a home where a rude gesture or an ill-tempered word are alike unknown; where between father and mother, master and servant, mistress and maid, friend and friend, parent and child, brother and sister, prevails the law of truth, of kindness, of consideration for others, and forgetfulness of self. Can they carry into the world, whither we send them later, aught of coarseness, of untruthfulness, of slatternliness, of vulgarity, if their home has been orderly, if their parents have been refined, their servants well mannered, their friends and playmates kindly and carefully trained as themselves? Do we want our boys to succeed in the world; our girls to be admired and loved; their tastes to be elegant; their language choice; their manners simple, charming, refined, and graceful; their friendship elevating? then we must ourselves be what we would have our children to be, remembering the golden maxim, that good manners, like charity, must begin at home.

"Good manners are an immense social force. We should, therefore, spare no pains to teach our children what to do, and what to avoid doing, in their pathway through life.

"On utilitarian as well as social principles, we should try to instruct our children in good manners; for whether we wish them to succeed in the world, or to adorn society, the point is equally important. We must never lose sight of the fact, that here teachers and professors can do little, and that the only way in which it in possible to acquire the habits of good society is to live in no other."

GAMES WITH CARDS.

MARRIED ladies and elderly gentlemen are allowed to claim precedence at the card-table, over single young ladies and the younger men. Ladies of "a certain age," if single, can claim the privileges of the card-table with married ladies.

Etiquette does not require any one to play unwillingly. It is very rude to urge the request, as many have conscientious scruples on this matter, though they may not care to wound the feelings of those playing by proclaiming them.

It is not kind, however, and therefore it is not etiquette, to refuse to play, if there are no such scruples, when the refusal prevents a game being made up.

None should attempt to play—whist, for instance—unless really able to do so moderately well. It is not fair to impose a poor partner upon one who may be really fond of the game and play well.

It is not etiquette for those very fond of card-playing to victimize every guest by producing cards whenever they call, whether they care for playing or not. Many will play from good- nature who would prefer to pass the time in conversation.

Husband and wife, or any partners who may be supposed to be intimately acquainted with each other's play, should not play together. It is taking an unfair advantage of the other couple for them to play partners.

If playing for stakes, the gentleman pays for his lady partner in the event of loss; but does not receive her winnings.

All violations of the known rules of the game are violations of the laws of etiquette as well. Yet, if such violations are made, they should be pointed out in a quiet and courteous manner, not made the subject of violent dispute or censure. Any altercations are violations of the laws of etiquette. Loss of temper, no matter how continuous the ill-luck, is a breach of manners; so are objurgations of one's partner's performances, and criticisms on the play of partner or adversary. In whist, as in marriage, the partner is taken for better for worse, and in neither case should an ill-assorted couple try to make matters worse than they are by grumbling and growling at each other.

It is a breach of etiquette to talk constantly upon other subjects whilst engaged in a game of cards. Whist, as all good players know, is a game that requires close attention, and almost absolute silence; and the other games can be much disturbed by talking.

To converse with those who are not playing is still worse. It is a violation of all courtesy to allow the attention to be diverted at all. If addressed while at the game, make your answer as brief as politeness will permit, and give your whole attention to the game again. No one can play so well with divided attention; and you may be certain it is an annoyance to your partner, even if your opponent does not object to it.

Any appearance of an understanding between partners, as smiles, nods, or winks, are gross violations, not only of the laws of the game, but of good manners.

To finger the cards whilst they are being dealt is a breach of good manners. Even if you do not violate the laws of the game by actually looking at them, you are committing an error in etiquette by seeming to be in any way aware of their existence before you are at liberty to take them in your hand.

Never start a conversation that would lead to long argument or discussion in the pauses of the game. Small talk, chit-chat, is certainly admissible whilst the cards are being dealt, but only upon topics which can be readily dropped when the play is again the leading subject.

To play cards with an air of weariness or abstraction is positively rude. If you are not interested in the game, strive to appear so, and if you are not equal to that, you had better stop playing.

Try to avoid argument upon nice points in playing. Even if you are right, it is more courteous to yield to your adversary than to keep others waiting whilst you prove your position.

Etiquette by no means requires stakes of money. If counters are not provided for betting games, you may refuse to bet, without any breach of good manners.

In your own house, never offer guests any but new cards to play with.

It is a violation of etiquette to propose card-playing in another person's house. This is the privilege of the host or hostess, and if they do not suggest the amusement, it is absolutely rude for any one else to do so.

It is a breach of etiquette to hurry others who are playing. Nothing annoys a deliberate player more than to have a partner or adversary constantly saying, "Come, play; it is your turn now," or, "We are all waiting for you."

Even if you take no pleasure in cards, some knowledge of the etiquette and rules belonging to the games most in vogue will be useful to you, unless you object upon principle to playing. If so, it is better at once to state the fact. If not, and a fourth hand is wanted at a rubber, or if the rest of the company sit down to a round game, you will be deemed guilty of a want of politeness if you refuse to join.

The games most common are whist, loo, euchre, vingt-un, and speculation.

Whist requires four players. A pack of cards being spread upon the table, with their faces downward, the four players draw for partners. Those who draw the two highest, and those who draw the two lowest, become partners. The lowest of all claims the deal.

In declaring that married people may not play at the same table, society by no means understands anything so disgraceful as dishonest collusion; but persons who play regularly together cannot fail to know so much of each other's mode of acting under given circumstances that the chances no longer remain perfectly even in favor of their adversaries.

VISITING CARDS.

THE fashion of cards is a variable one. It may be the fashion to- day to have them large, square, and printed upon rough surfaces; to-morrow they may be small, long, and highly glazed; now they are engraved; now written. In fact, there are too many freaks and changes to mention all; but etiquette requires always perfect simplicity. An ornamental visiting card is simply detestable.

Glazed cards are not now in vogue, but they may be again, and ladies' cards are cut much smaller than those used by gentlemen.

Persons who have a city and country residence must have two sets of cards, with the residence at the time of calling engraved on the left-hand corner, thus:

MRS. JOHN POTTS, No. 27 —- STREET,

while Mrs. Potts is in the city, and

MRS. JOHN POTTS, CEDARS,

when Mrs. Potts is out of town. Visiting cards must never bear a business address.

All merely honorary or official designations must be omitted, except in cards designed for official visits only.

Officers of the army or navy may use their title or not, as preferred, as:

CAPT. JAMES BURNS, U.S.A.,

Or,

JAMES BURNS, U.S.A.,

are either of them correct, the former having the advantage of putting the receiver in possession at once of his visitor's rank, the latter allowing scope for promotion or change of title. For militia officers to use their titles upon visiting cards is a piece of affectation utterly absurd. Members of Congress are always entitled to use the "Hon." before the name on their visiting cards, even after their term of office has expired. Judges and physicians are also allowed to use their titles; but no other professional men.

Cards should be engraved in simple Italian characters, and without flourish, embossed surface, or even ostentatiously large letters.

Every visiting card should have the address in small letters in the left-hand corner. If used when in a strange city, the usual address may be scored in lead-pencil, and the temporary one written under the name, thus:

MR. AND MRS. WILLIAM LEIGH, No. 207 —- STREET. ST. JAMES HOTEL.

It is optional with unmarried ladies to use the prefix to their names.

Gentlemen without military, naval, official, or professional titles generally omit any prefix but may use the abbreviation "Mr." if they desire.

Autograph visiting cards are conceited affectations. The autograph of distinguished characters may be desirable; but it is precisely that class of people who would be least likely to use them. A neatly engraved card is en regle; printed ones look cheap, and are not suitable for visiting.

Persons in mourning should use cards with black borders.

Young unmarried ladies may use separate cards, or may have their names added to their mother's, thus:

MRS. JOSEPH BANKS. MISS LUCY BANKS.

Leave-taking cards have P. P. C. (pour prendre conge) written in the right-hand corner.

Wedding cards are in the best taste when perfectly simple.

It is a breach of etiquette to leave a card after being informed that the person visited is at home.

When you have been informed of an important event in the family of a friend-a birth, a marriage, or a death-if you are unable to offer personal congratulation or condolence, you may leave a card within a week.

If you reside in another city, you may send your card by post, with the word "felicitation" under the name. A mournful event calls for a letter.

A card left for two or more members of the same family must have a corner turned down.

A card with a photograph portrait upon it, though to a certain extent fashionable, is a vulgarism that can never obtain general favor. If you are a gentleman, your visage may be reserved by the chambermaid, to exhibit as "one of her beaux," and no lady, surely, would ever display her face on a visiting card.

Gentlemen presenting flowers or other gifts to ladies should always attach a card, and over the name write, "With compliments of."

Christmas gifts, when sent, should be accompanied by the card of the giver.

Loans of books or music, when returned, should always be accompanied by the card of the borrower.

LETTER WRITING.

NO one should write letters at all who cannot write in a clear, fair hand, that "those who run may read." In a busy age like the present, when every one's time has a certain value, we have no right to impose the reading of hieroglyphics upon our correspondents. "I's" should be dotted, "t's" crossed, and capitals used in their proper places, and only the most obvious abbreviations indulged in. Punctuation is equally de regueur; the most unimportant letters should be carefully punctuated; and the habit is so easily acquired, and so simple, that after a while it entails no more time or thought than dotting the "i's."

The handwriting of a lady or gentleman should not be commercial or scholastic, but firm and characteristic. All affectations in writing should be avoided, such as sloping one's hand to the left, the use of flourishes, undue size in the characters, or a diminutiveness of the same to try eyesight and patience. The signature should be simple and unostentatious. Nothing can be more absurd than to see a person whose name can have no significance to the world in general, sign himself as elaborately as if he were the Pope or President at least,

Underlining should only be resorted to when the underlined word is of really great importance. Many ladies carry this practice to excess, and so rob it of all significance, as a speaker who emphasized every other word would not be heeded when he needed to be emphatic. What can be more absurd than such a sentence as the following:

"We are all very sorry to hear that you cannot come to visit us this summer, as we expected, and wish your business was not so engrossing."

For the ordinary correspondence of a lady or gentleman it is advisable to use white note-paper of good quality, and the size distinguished as "commercial note."

If monograms or initials are used, they should be as simple as possible, and in white or black only. Gilt or colored monograms are in bad taste.

Red sealing-wax is admissible only for business letters, and wafers are entirely out of style.

In mourning, the paper and envelopes may have a black border suitable to the relationship of the dead, and the length of time the mourning has been worn. In the deepest mourning, exaggerations of black border are unbecoming and in bad taste. Real grief is always unostentatious.

No letter should contain erasures under any circumstances.

The stamp should be placed exactly in the right-hand corner of the envelope; it must neither be up-side-down, nor slanting, nor in any way carelessly affixed. Negligence in these matters evinces a rudeness to the person to whom you write, as hinting that you think anything will do.

Blots and smears are almost too gross pieces of carelessness to be commented upon. After ten years of age, they are entirely inexcusable.

Never omit your own name and address from a letter, whether of business or friendship.

In writing to persons with whom you are but slightly acquainted, use as few words as possible. You are not authorized in taking up much of their time. It is only in correspondence with very intimate friends that long letters are permissible. If occasion necessitates a letter to a very busy person, politeness requires that it should be framed as curtly as is consistent with civility and perspicuity. It is unpardonable to waste really valuable time, because we do not choose to be at the trouble of concentrating our thoughts and sparing our words.

In writing to our friends or acquaintances, we should never communicate bad news abruptly; but should lead the way to it in such a manner as to soften the blow. A great deal of pain may be avoided by a proper choice of words.

We should scrupulously avoid writing too frequently, or at too great a length, of our own losses and misfortunes. To do this is merely thoughtless egotism. We may have a right to expect sympathy from our friends, but we have no right to make our letters inflictions. Letters should invariably be written cheerfully if possible, and, at least, in a tone of resignation.

An ill-tempered letter is as great a mistake as a lachrymose one. Nothing is so inexpedient as to write a letter in a fit of indignation and anger. If you must give way to your feelings, write your letter, but let it remain unposted until the next day; read it over then, and you will probably put it in the fire.

It is better, if possible, to seek an interview with the person who has wronged or affronted you. Spoken recrimination or reproof is forgotten; but when you have once written down and issued your angry thoughts, they are irrevocable, and a sure source of after regret.

In dealing with those who may have treated you unfairly, be civil in your letters. Be as haughty as you please, and state your grievance in plain, unvarnished terms, and there end. If the truth does not sting, nothing you can add to it will do so; and vituperation, though it does not injure the person upon whom you bestow it, injures your own cause, and detracts seriously from the proper dignity of your own position.

In writing, as in conversation, egotism is a capital offence. We have no more right to be egotistic on paper than we have a right to be dull or disagreeable. A letter should be like a visit, bright, inspiriting, and a reflex of our best mood. Above all, it should be kind and sympathetic.

There are letters whose arrival we hail as we should that of a new book by a delightful writer, or the visit of a brilliant acquaintance.

Again, there are others, the delivery of which, anticipating all the dullness and verbosity with which they are certain to be filled, we dread like the incursions of a well-known bore. Who would not wish to be the writer of the one? Who would not take any amount of pains with his correspondence to avoid being dreaded as the other?

Always answer any letter that may be addressed to you, no matter who the writer may be. If the letter be from one who has no business to write to you, nevertheless acknowledge it, and by your style and manner check further impertinence. Thus:

WASHINGTON, D. C., Jan. 7th, 18-. SIR:

I write to acknowledge the receipt of your letter of the 5th inst., acquainting me with your opinion of my speech in Congress on the 27th ultimo.

I am, sir, Your obedient servant, JAMES M. —-

Mr. P. C. LITTLETON, Philadelphia.

Business letters generally have the name of the firm or person to whom they are addressed written above the "Gentlemen." or "Sir," as:

"Messrs. DICK & FITZGERALD: "Gentlemen,"

Or,

"JOHN BROWN, ESQ.: "Dear sir."

The name of the place from which the letter is written, the date, the full name of writer and receiver, should be given in some part of a letter. The practice of heading a note "Monday," without a date, and signing it "Charlie," is very embarrassing; it makes it difficult to answer a note unless immediately, when the day of the week can be readily identified with the day of the month, and when the receiver knows who his correspondent really is. Besides this, in the event of the letter miscarrying, it cannot be returned if there be no surname attached to the signature. A most important lawsuit in London was lost by a letter, of great value and significance otherwise, being dropped from the evidence for want of identification, being directed, "Dearest Tootings," and signed, "Your loving Poppets." It may seem absurd that a letter of weight could contain such silliness; but it was a fact.

Do not write on scraps of paper, as if your correspondence were not worth the cost of a proper sheet. Neither use old envelopes turned, as some people are wont to do.

Always be sure that your letter has sufficient stamps upon it to fully prepay its weight.

Do not enclose stamps for an answer unless the matter be a business one, and your own proper affair.

Should you send manuscript subject to approval to an editor, enclose stamps sufficient to pay for its return. You have no right to put another to this expense, especially as you already require from him a sacrifice of time, in order to look over what you have sent.

Anonymous communications are both cowardly and ill-bred. Under no circumstances should they be written. The fire is the only fit asylum for them when received. The Gunpowder Plot might have been revealed openhandedly, and the anonymous letter even in that case nearly missed its aim. The only anonymous communications which can be tolerated are the harmless missives called valentines. These, however, have fallen out of favor in polite society. Children and servants are the chief supporters of the manufacturers of the gorgeous love-letters.

In writing to a person who is the guest of another, take care to place the name of the host or hostess on the cover of your letter. Some people address the letter in such a case to the host, and inscribe the name of their correspondent in the left-hand corner, thus:

JAMES GORDON, ESQ., No. 347 —- Street, New York. For Mrs. T. C. BATES.

This practice is very likely to lead to an unintentional opening of the letter by the wrong person; for a cursory glance at the cover would seem to show that the letter was intended for the person whose name was most prominent. The letter should have been directed, to the person for whom it was intended first, thus:

Mrs. T. C. BATES, Care of JAMES GORDON, Esq., No. 347 —- Street, New York.

Unless very well acquainted with your correspondent, do not use terms implying intimacy.

Business letters usually commence with "Sir," "Gentlemen," "Dear Sir," or "Dear Sirs," and end with, "I am, Sir (or Gentlemen), Your obedient servant," etc.

Official letters invariably begin with the title of the person addressed, and then "Sir," if a civilian or the rank of an officer.

If the letter be to the head of a Department, to a high Government official, or to a superior officer, it is customary to write in a strain a little more deferential than ordinary, so that, instead of saying, as you would to a friend, "I have to acquaint you," "I have to acknowledge the receipt of your letter," you would say, "I have the honor to acknowledge." The ending, too, of such letters should be slightly different: "I have the honor to be, General, Your obedient servant," taking the place of "I am, sir," etc.

In official communications, margins are always left, so as to allow of notations being made for the purpose of framing an answer, and the backs of the pages should be left blank for the same purpose. It is not customary to write down quite to the bottom of the page, but to take ample room for the substance of the letter.

Unless writing officially, or to some public person, it is not customary in this country to give a man all the titles which may belong to him.

Remember that "brevity is the soul of wit." Let your letters be concisely written, not too bluntly, but in a clear, straightforward style, going at once to the subjects you desire to mention, with as little preamble as possible. Use the passive instead of the active voice. To do so prevents the continual thrusting forward of the first person singular into the letter, and gives a more modest appearance to the text.

Short notes to strangers on business—as, for instance, in reference to the character of a servant, asking for some information, etc.—should be written in the third person singular, thus:

"Mrs. Wright presents her compliments to Mrs. Left, and will feel greatly obliged by any information respecting the character and qualifications of Jane Broom, who has applied for a situation as housemaid in Mrs. Wright's household.

"No.27 F—- Street, Jan 9th, 1869."

The answer should also be written in the third person, and should contain as much information as possible relative to the points inquired about, stating whether the servant is honest, sober, and truthful, and what is her experience of her disposition and habits.

In writing to a servant, or to one considerably below your own station, the following form may be used:

"Jane Broom is hereby informed that Mrs. Wright is willing to engage her as housemaid from the 15th of January, 1869. "No. 27 F Street, Jan. 10th, 1869." Or this:

"Jane Broom—your character is satisfactory, and you can enter my service on Saturday, the 15th of January."

Or this:

"Mrs. Wright is satisfied with Jane Broom's character, and informs her that she may enter Mrs. Wright's service as housemaid on Saturday next."

In sending any communication to a newspaper or magazine, address to "The Editor," and not to any private person connected with the publication. By so doing, you will better secure attention than if you trouble the editor at his own house by addressing him by his own name. Besides this, some one may be acting for the editor, and if he sees the packet addressed to the name of the absentee, he will not feel free to open it, but will send it to him, whereby confusion and delay, possibly loss of the manuscript, may ensue.

There are six parts to every letter: the date, the complimentary address, the body of the letter, the complimentary closing, the signature, the address or superscription; thus:

(Date) PETERSBURG, Va., June 18th, 1869.

(Complimentary address) JAMES MUNROE, Esq.:

DEAR Sir: (Body of the letter) Your most welcome letter, announcing your intention of visiting our city, reached me this morning. I hasten to answer to beg that you will make my house your home during your stay, and inform me by what train I may expect you, that I may meet you at the depot. Leaving all else for the first conversation,

(Complimentary closing) I am, my dear friend,

YOURS VERY TRULY, (Signature) P. T. JONES.

(Address or Superscription) JAMES MUNROE, ESQ., Bangor, Maine.

THE LADY'S TOILET.

PERHAPS, in these days of public and private baths, it may seem a work of supererogation to insist upon cleanliness as the first requisite in a lady's toilet. Yet it may be as well to remind our fair readers that fastidiousness on this head cannot be carried too far. Cleanliness is the outward sign of inward purity. Cleanliness is health, and health is beauty.

We will begin, then, with the business of the dressing-room, which can be quite well performed in three-quarters of an hour, or even less; and should at latest be achieved by eight o'clock in summer, and nine in winter. To sleep too much is as trying to the constitution as to sleep too little. To sleep too much is to render oneself liable to all kinds of minor ailments, both of mind and body. It is a habit that cannot be too severely censured, especially in the young. No mother has any right to allow her young daughters to ruin their temper, health, and complexion, by lying in bed till nine or ten o'clock. Early rising conduces more to the preservation of health, freshness, and young looks, than anything in the world, and even to the proper preservation of our mental faculties.

The bath is a most important object of study. It is not to be supposed that we wash in order to become clean; we wash because we wish to remain clean. The bath should be taken by a person in good health once a day in winter, and twice a day in summer. For persons of really robust constitutions, a cold shower-bath may be recommended; but as a general rule the sponge-bath is safest and most convenient. Cold water refreshes and invigorates, but does not cleanse; those persons, therefore, who daily use a cold bath in the morning should frequently use a warm one at night. For cleansing purposes, the water should be of from ninety-six to one hundred degrees, or even one hundred and eight degrees; but such a bath should be sparingly indulged in, as it exhausts the physical powers.

A tepid bath, varying from eighty-five to ninety-five degrees, is perhaps the safest for general use, the more particulary as it answers the purpose both of refreshing and cleansing. It is not well to remain in the bath for longer than two or three minutes. A large coarse sponge is best for the purpose. It is advisable to wet the top of the head before entering a cold bath. Whether soap be used or not, it is well to apply the flesh-brush gently to the face and vigorously to the whole body. Nothing improves the complexion like the daily use of the flesh-brush. When the brushing is concluded, a huck-a-back or Turkish towel should be used for the final process of drying.

The teeth must be scrupulously cared for. If proper care were taken of the teeth in youth, there would be less employment for the dentist in after life. The Americans ruin their teeth by drinking iced drinks with hot dinners; the Spanish ladies by eating sugar all day long; the Mexicans by smoking cigarettes. Very hot and very sweet things should be avoided. The teeth should be carefully brushed, not only night and morning, but after every meal. Very hard tooth-brushes are not advisable, and a simple tooth-powder of common chalk is safer and more effectual than any quackeries. The onion, we need scarcely observe, must be the forbidden fruit of the Eve of the nineteenth century. Indigestible food is also certain to affect the sweetness of the breath. As soon as the breath becomes unpleasant, one may be quite sure that the digestive machinery is out of order.

The nails must always be fastidiously clean, and never allowed to grow inordinately long. In the cutting of the nails, every care must be given to the preservation of the shape, and to the removal of superfluous skin. A liberal use of the nail-brush, warm water, and best Windsor soap will insure the preservation of a delicate hand. Gloves must of course be worn out of doors; and even in doors as much as possible.

The hair requires a good deal of care, though of the simplest and most inartificial kind. The secret of fine and glossy hair is a clean hair-brush; and ladies who keep no maid to perform those offices for them should wash their hair-brushes in hot water and soda every day. Every other day is the minimum of washing that a hair-brush should have.

Once secure the perfect cleanliness of your hair-brush, and the rest will be easy. Brush the hair carefully both at night and morning; let it be occasionally cleansed with yolk of egg beaten up, or a mixture of glycerine and lime-juice, and you will find no need to resort to hair-doctors or quacks. Pomade and oil are strictly to be avoided; but after a sea-water bath, or during a sea journey, a little warm pomade will be useful in softening the hair.

Above all things, never attempt to change the color of the hair by means of fashionable dyes and fluids. Color so obtained cannot harmonize naturally with the skin, eyes, and eyebrows that Nature has given. Practices of this kind are simply and strictly immodest. They evince a senseless desire for fashion, and an equally senseless eagerness to attract. Auricomus hair-dyes, like painted lips and cheeks, and pencilled eyebrows, and complexions purchased, are disgraceful to the wearers. With regard to the art of obtaining a good complexion, let ladies be careful in regard to diet, take regular exercise in the open air, wear broad-brimmed hats in the sun, and veils in the wind; let them avoid pearl powders and washes of every kind; let them, above all things, go early to bed, and rise betimes in the morning; and if by so doing they are not made "beautiful forever," they can never be made so.

The face should never be washed when heated from exercise. Wipe the perspiration from the skin, and wait until it is sufficiently cool before you bathe, even with warm water. Rain-water is best for the bath. In case of any eruption upon the skin, no time should be lost in procuring medical advice. He who doctors himself, says the proverb, has a fool for his physician.

With regard to dress, it is impossible to do more than offer a few general observations. The fashion of dress is for to-day; but the esthetics of dress are for all time. No matter to what absurd lengths fashion may go, a woman of taste will ever avoid the ridiculous. The milliner and dressmaker may handle the scissors never so despotically, but in matters of color, harmony, and contrast they remain under the control of their employer. Dress, indeed, may fairly claim to be considered in the light of a fine art. To dress well demands something more than a full purse and a pretty figure. It requires taste, good sense, and refinement.

A woman of taste and good sense will neither make dress her first nor her last object in life. She will remember that no wife should betray that total indifference for her husband's taste which is implied in the neglect of her appearance; and she will also remember that to dress consistently and tastefully is one of the duties which she owes to society.

There is a Spanish proverb which says, "Every hair has its shadow." So. in like manner, every lady, however insignificant her social position may appear to herself, must exercise a certain influence on the feelings and opinions of others. If, therefore, the art of dressing appears either too irksome or too frivolous to such of the fair sex as are engaged in serious occupations, let them remember that it performs the same part in beautifying domestic life as is performed by music and the fine arts in embellishing the life moral and spiritual. So long, therefore, as dress merely occupies so much time and requires so much money as we are fairly entitled to allow it, nothing can be said against it. When extravagant fashions are indulged in—extravagant habits fostered at any cost—and under any circumstances—the critic is quite justified in his strictures, however severe. Dress, to be in perfect taste, need not be costly; and no woman of right feeling will adorn her person at the expense of her husband's comfort or her children's education.

"As a work of art, a well-dressed woman is a study." Her toilet will be as bien soignee and as well chosen at the family breakfast-table as at a ball. If she loves bright colors and can wear them with impunity, they will be as harmoniously arranged as the artist arranges his colors on the palette. If she is young, her dress will be youthful; if she is old, it will not affect simplicity. She will always follow rather than lead the prevailing fashion, and rather follow her own fashion than violate good taste or common sense.

The golden rule in dress is to avoid extremes. Do not be so original in your dress as to be peculiar; and do not affect fashions that are radically unbecoming to you. Ladies that are neither very young nor very striking in appearance cannot do better than wear quiet colors. Ladies who are not rich can always appear well dressed, with a little care in the choice and arrangement of the materials. Whatever the texture of the dress, it should be made by the very best dressmaker you call afford. As well go to a third or fourth-rate dentist, music-master, or doctor, as go to a third or fourth-rate dressmaker. The dressmaker is a woman's good or evil genius.

Morning dress should be faultless in its way. For young ladies, married or unmarried, nothing is prettier in summer than white or very light morning dresses of washing materials. Light dresses must be exquisitely fresh and clean, ribbons fresh, collars and cuffs irreproachable. All stuffs are to be rigidly eschewed except those of the very finest kind. Morning dress for elderly ladies of wealth and position should be of dark silk. Jewelry, hair ornaments, and light silk dresses are not permissible for morning wear.

Walking dress should always be quiet. Rich walking dress attracts attention, which in the street is not desirable. For the carriage, a lady may dress as elegantly as she pleases.

Elderly ladies should always dress richly. Any thin old lady may wear delicate colors, whilst a stout, florid person looks best in dark or gray. For young as well as old, the question of color must, however, be determined by complexion and figure. Rich colors harmonize with rich brunette complexions and dark hair; delicate colors are the most suitable for delicate and fragile styles of beauty.

For ball dresses, light and diaphanous materials are worn; silk dresses are not suitable for dancing. Black and scarlet, black and violet, or white, are worn in mourning; but ladies in deep mourning should not go to balls at all. They must not dance, and their dark dresses look out of place in a gay assembly.

At dinner parties, unless of a small, friendly kind, only the fullest dress is appropriate. Demi-toilette can be worn at unceremonious dinners, and even high dresses, if the material be sufficiently rich. It is better to wear real flowers at large dinner parties, but artificial ones at balls; since the former would drop and fall to pieces with the heat and the dancing.

Much jewelry is out of place for young ladies at any time; and, indeed, there is as much propriety to be observed in the wearing of jewelry as in the wearing of dresses. Diamonds, pearls, rubies, and all transparent precious stones belong to evening dress, and should never be worn before dinner. In the morning, one's rings should be of the simplest kind, and one's jewelry limited to a good brooch, gold chain, and watch. Diamonds and pearls are as much out of place during the morning as a low dress or a wreath.

It is well to remember in the choice of jewelry that mere costliness is not always the test of value; and that an exquisite work of art, such as a fine intaglio or cameo, or a natural rarity, such as a black pearl, is a possession more distingue than a large brilliant which any one who has money enough can buy as well as yourself. Of all precious stones, the opal is the most lovely and commonplace. No merely vulgar woman purchases an opal.

Gloves, shoes, and boots must always be faultless. Gloves cannot be too light for the carriage, or too dark for the streets. A woman with ill-fitting gloves cannot be said to be well dressed; while to wear soiled ones at your friend's soiree is to show her that you think lightly of herself and her company.

It may be remarked, by the way, that perfumes should be used only in the evening, and with the strictest moderation. Perfumes, to be tolerable, must be of the most recherche kind. Some people, of a sensitive temperament, would be made ill by the smell of musk or patchouli. Finally, let every lady remember Dr. Johnson's criticism on a lady's dress: "I am sure she was well dressed," said the Doctor; "for I cannot remember what she had on."

THE GENTLEMAN'S TOILET.

IT has been aptly said that "the bath deserves an Order." The first requisite of a gentleman's toilet is undoubtedly the bath, which should be as bracing as the constitution will allow, and used morning and evening in summer, and every day in winter. Country gentlemen, who live much in the open air, and take plenty of exercise, have no excuse for shirking the cold shower-bath; but denizens of cities, and men who are obliged to lead very sedentary lives, cannot indulge with equal safety in this luxury, and must never continue it in the teeth of reason and experience. Only physiques of finest quality can endure, much more benefit by, a cold-water shock all the year round; and though physique is always improvable, great reformation must not be attempted rashly. Let the bath of from sixty to seventy degrees be freely indulged in by the strong, and even by the less robust, in summer time; but in winter a temperature varying from eighty-five to ninety-five degrees is the safest. The flesh-brush should be vigorously applied to all parts of the body, after which the skin must be carefully dried with Turkish or huck-a-back towels. It is well to remain without clothing for some little time after bathing. Nothing is so healthy as exposure of the body to air and sun; a French physician has recommended the sun-bath as a desirable hygienic practice. A bath in fresh water should always be taken after a sea-dip.

The next thing to be done is to clean the teeth. This should be done with a good hard tooth-brush at least twice a day. Smokers should rinse the mouth immediately after smoking, and should be careful to keep the teeth scrupulously clean. The nails should also be kept exquisitely clean and short. Long nails are are an abomination.

Our advice to those who shave is, like Punch's advice to those about to marry "Don't." But it must by no means be understood that suffering the beard to grow is a process that obviates all trouble. The beard should be carefully and frequently washed, well trimmed, and well combed, and the hair and whiskers kept scrupulously clean by the help of clean, stiff hair-brushes, and soap and warm water. The style of the beard should be adapted to the form of the face; but any affectation in the cut of the beard and whiskers is very objectionable, and augurs unmitigated vanity in the wearer. Long hair is never indulged in except by painters and fiddlers. The moustache should be worn neat, and not overlarge.

Beau Brummell spent two hours in dressing; but a gentleman can perform all the duties of his toilet to perfection in less than half that time.

A great French writer has said, with as much grace as philosophy, that the artist and man of letters needs only a black coat, and the absence of all pretension, to place him on the level of the best society. It must be observed, however, that this remark applies only to the intellectual workers, who, if they do occasionally commit a minor solecism in dress and manners, are forgiven on account of their fame and talents. It is not enough that a man should be clever, or well educated, or well born, to take his place in society; he must be acquainted with all that this chapter, and, indeed, this little volume throughout, professes to teach.

A gentleman should always be so well dressed that his dress shall never be remarked at all. Does this sound like an enigma? It is not meant for one. It only implies that perfect simplicity is perfect elegance, and that the true test of dress in the toilet of a gentleman is its entire harmony, unobtrusiveness, and becomingness. Displays should be avoided. Let a sensible man leave the graces and luxuries of dress to his wife, daughters, and sisters, and not seek distinction in the trinkets on his watch- chain, or the pattern of his waistcoat. To be too much in the fashion is as vulgar as to be too far behind it. No really well- bred man follows every new cut he sees in his tailor's fashion- book. Only very young men are guilty of this folly.

A man whose dress is appropriate, neat, and clean, will always look like a gentleman; but to dress appropriately, one must have a varied wardrobe. This should not, on the average, cost more than a tenth part of his income. No man can afford more than a tenth of his income for dress.

The author of Pelham has aptly said that "a gentleman's coat should not fit too well." There is great truth and subtlety in this observation. To be fitted too well is to look like a tailor's dummy.

In the morning, wear a frock coat, and trousers of light or dark color, as befits the season. When in the country or at the seaside, gray or shooting costumes are best.

In the evening, though you spend it alone with your family, wear a black dress suit; and if you have sons, bring them up to do the same.

It is the observance of these trifles in domestic etiquette that marks the true gentleman. For evening parties, dinner parties, and balls wear a black dress coat, black trousers, black silk or cloth waistcoat, thin patent-leather boots, a white cravat, and white kid gloves. Abjure all fopperies, such as white silk linings, silk collars, etc.; above all, the shirt-front should be plain. At small, unceremonious parties, gloves are not necessary; but, when worn, they should be new and fit well. Economy in gloves is an insult to society. A man's jewelry should be of the best and simplest description. False jewelry, like every other form of falsehood and pretence, is unmitigated vulgarity.

Elaborate studs and sleeve-links are all foppish and vulgar. A set of good studs, a gold watch and guard, and one handsome ring, are as many ornaments as a gentleman can wear with propriety. For a ring, the man of fine taste would prefer a precious antique intaglio to the handsomest diamond or ruby that could be bought. The most elegant gentleman with whom the author was ever acquainted—a man familiar with all the courts of Europe—never wore any other shirt-studs in full dress than three valuable black pearls, each about the size of a pea, and by no means beautiful to look upon.

Lastly, a man's jewelry should always have some use, and not, like a lady's, be worn for ornament only.

Colored shirts may be worn in the morning; but they should be small in pattern and quiet in color. Fancy cloths of conspicuous patterns are exceedingly ojectionable. With a colored flannel shirt always wear a white collar and wristbands. The hat should always be black; and caps and straw-hats are only admissible in summer.

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If spectacles are necessary, they should be of the best and lightest make, and mounted in gold, or blue steel. For weak sight, blue or smoke-colored glasses are the best; green glasses are detestable.

A gentleman should never be seen in the street without gloves. Worsted or cotton gloves are not permissible. A man's clothes should always be well brushed, and never threadbare or shabby. No gentleman can afford to wear shabby clothes.

For the country, or the foreign tour, a gentleman will select a costume of some light woolen material, flannel shirts, thick boots, and everything to correspond. Dandyism is never more out of place than on the glacier, or among the Norwegian salmon fisheries.

There are three things one should consult in the matter of dress if one would always appear like a gentleman—viz., expense, comfort, and society. If there is one thing in this world about which we can entertain any degree of moral certainty, it is that we must pay our tailor's bills. If, therefore, our means are disproportionate to our wants, we must remember the old proverb, "Cut your coat according to your cloth," and dress as well as you possibly can upon little money.

MISCELLANEOUS; OR, ONE HUNDRED UNCLASSIFIED LAWS OF ETIQUETTE.

1. A GENTLEMAN must always hand a lady a chair, open the door for her to pass in or out, remove anything that may be in her way, and pick up anything she may drop, even if she is an entire stranger to him.

2. A gentleman or lady will never look over the shoulder of another who is either reading or writing.

3. No gentleman or lady will ever be guilty of personality in conversation. No wit, however keen; no sarcasm, however humorous, can make personal remarks anything but rude and vulgar.

4. A gentleman, in passing a lady where he must stand aside to give her space, must always remove his hat, and incline his head slightly.

5. A lady, in such a case, must always acknowledge the courtesy by a slight bow.

6. Exaggeration trespasses so closely upon falsehood that it is not safe to trust it. To adhere strictly to truth can never lead into error.

7. Conceit is the vice or folly of the shallow-minded; so if you would not be thought so avoid boasting or affectations of any kind. The truly wise man is modest, and the braggart and coxcomb are valued but little.

8. It is unladylike to stand with arms a-kimbo or folded.

9. It is a mark of low breeding to fidget either with the hands or feet; to play with the watch-chain, toss the gloves, suck the head of a cane or handle of a parasol, or to fuss with a collar or necktie. Nothing is a more certain sign of gentle breeding than quiet ease without stiffness or fidgetting.

10. To swing the foot, or tap monotonously with the feet, to drum with the fingers on a table or window, are all breaches of etiquette.

11. It is ill-bred to speak of persons with whom you are but slightly acquainted by their first name.

12. No true lady will ever allow herself to speak of a gentleman by his surname without a prefix. To hear a lady talking of Holmes or Warren, instead of Mr. Holmes or Dr. Warren, gives the impression that she is low-bred.

13. No gentleman will ever criticize a wine offered to him, no matter how poor it may be. We give an instance of undaunted etiquette, which proves to what an extent a well-bred man may carry his courtesy: "In England during the French Revolution, the Duke of Bedford invited the emigrant Duc de Grammont to a splendid dinner, one of those magnificent entertainments which Englishmen pride themselves on giving to crowned heads, and their good feeling prompts them to offer to exiles. During dessert, a bottle of Constantia was produced, which for age and flavor was supposed to be matchless. It was liquid gold in a crystal flagon—a ray of the sun descending into a goblet; it was nectar which was worthy of Jove, and in which Bacchus would have revelled. The noble head of the house of Russell himself helped his guest to a glass of this choice wine, and de Grammont, on tasting it, declared it to be excellent. The Duke of Bedford, anxious to judge of its quality, poured out a glass, which no sooner approached his lips than, with a horrible contortion, he exclaimed: 'Why, what on earth is this?' The butler approached, took the bottle and applied it to his nostrils, and, to the dismay of his master, pronounced it to be castor-oil. The Duc de Grammont had swallowed this horrid draught without wincing."

14. Flattery is a breach of etiquette. Johnson says: "Of all wild beasts, preserve me from a tyrant; and of all tame, a flatterer."

15. No gentleman may ever break an engagement, whether it be one of business or pleasure, with a lady, or with another gentleman. If not blessed with a retentive memory, he must carry a note-book and record therein all his appointments, guarding, by frequent reference, against making two for the same day and hour. To break an engagement with a lady is almost certain to give lasting offence, and with good cause.

16. Irritability is a breach of good manners. Watts says: "To be angry about trifles is mean and childish; to rage and be furious is brutish, and to maintain perpetual wrath is akin to the practice and temper of fiends; but to prevent and suppress rising resentment is wise and glorious, is manly and divine."

17. Nothing marks a gentleman more truly than a strict punctuality. To keep another waiting is a breach of etiquette, as well as often a positive unkindness.

18. "Fine feathers make fine birds," the old proverb tells us; but no amount of fine dressing will ever make a lady. True politeness, gentle courtesy and refinement may be as marked in a lady wearing a calico dress and a sun-bonnet as in one in full gala dress. Mrs. Thorpe, the celebrated English authoress, tells of an interview with Mrs. Washington, than whom no more perfect lady, in the true acceptance of the term, ever lived. She says: "As Mrs. Washington was said to be so grand a lady, we thought we must put on our best bibs and bands; so we dressed ourselves in our most elegant ruffles and silks, and were introduced to her ladyship; and don't you think we found her knitting, and with her check apron on! She received us very graciously and easily; but after the compliments were over, she resumed her knitting. There we were without a stitch of work, and sitting in state; but General Washinton's lady, with her own hands, was knitting stockings for her husband."

19. To answer a civil question rudely, or even impatiently, is a gross breach of etiquette. Even if it inconveniences you or interrupts you, it will take no longer to answer kindly or politely than to wound or offend by crustiness.

20. No gentleman may ever refuse an apology. No matter how great the offence, how deep the resentment, an apology can never be rejected. It may not again revive friendship; but it must prevent quarrelling.

21. It is a breach of etiquette to intrude upon a business man during business hours.

22. An invalid, an elderly person, or a lady must be given the most comfortable chair in the room, must be allowed to select the light and temperature, and no true lady or gentleman will ever object to the exercise of the privilege.

23. It is a breach of etiquette, as well as an impertinence ever to question a child or servant upon family affairs.

24. It is a breach of etiquette to examine a card-basket. It is true they are generally exposed in the drawing-room; but no true lady or gentleman will ever turn them over.

25. It is a breach of etiquette to consult a watch when in company. To do so, and then take leave, is an absolute impertinence, as a pleasant circle may be broken at an early hour, under the impression that "it must be late; Mr. C—- hurried away so, when he saw what time it was."

26. It is a breach of etiquette when in company to try to attract the attention of one person by signals, a cough, a poke, or a nudge. Any appearance, indeed, of privacy or mystery is rude in company.

27. It is a breach of etiquette to assume a lazy, lounging attitude in company. If any one is too weak or too ill to sit up and assume a proper position, he had better stay at home until he is stronger or in better health.

28. Mysterious allusions are rude.

29. It is a breach of etiquette, in general conversation, to refer to incidents known to only one of the company, thus forcing a species of tete-a-tete, and withdrawing a perhaps unwilling partner from the general society.

30. Cards of ceremony must be answered either by a call, a letter, or a return card, within a week after their reception.

32. New-Year's calls must be made in person. It is a breach of etiquette to send a card, unless prevented by illness from calling.

32. Never rise to take leave in the midst of an interesting conversation; wait until there is a pause, and then withdraw, with as little disturbance as possible.

33. If you are calling, and another person enters, never offer the chair assigned you by the lady of the house; it is her privilege to decide where to place her guests, and an impertinence on your part to usurp her place.

34. A gentleman will never talk of his business affairs to a lady, nor a lady weary her gentlemen friends by an account of her domestic affairs.

35. The only gifts that may be offered or accepted between ladies and gentlemen who are not related or engaged are books, flowers, music, or confectionary. A lady who accepts costly presents of jewelry puts herself under an obligation that she may find troublesome, and no true gentleman will expose a lady to the pain of refusing an improper gift of this kind.

36. In entering a room filled with people, it is etiquette to bow slightly, as a general salutation, before speaking to each of those assembled.

37. It is etiquette, before taking a place at table, to say "Good- morning," or "Good-evening," to those in the room before you, and especially to those who preside over the meal.

38. It is a breach of etiquette to go into company with the breath tainted by eating onions, garlic, cheese, or any other strong- scented food.

39. It is a breach of etiquette for a gentleman to enter a lady's presence smelling of tobacco or wine.

40. It is a breach of etiquette to send a present hoping for another.

41. It is a breach of etiquette ever to refer to a gift you have made, a favor you have granted, or an obligation of any kind under which another lies with regard to you.

42. It is a breach of etiquette, and shows a sad want of true delicacy, to return a gift very soon. An obligation of that kind, if accepted at all, must not be thrust back at once in the donor's face.

43. It is a breach of etiquette for a husband or wife to speak of each other by their initial letter. When you hear a lady saying, "B., gave me this," or a gentleman saying, "I always refer such matters to Mrs. P.," you may rest assured, whatever their social station, they are low-bred.

44. "Civility," says Lord Chesterfield, "is particularly due to all women; and remember that no provocation whatsoever can justify any man in not being civil to every woman; and the greatest man would justly be reckoned a brute if he were not civil to the meanest woman. It is due to their sex, and is the only protection they have against the superior strength of ours."

45. Too great familiarity towards a new acquaintance is a breach of etiquette. You are less likely to offend by being too ceremonious.

46. To notice, by look or word, any deformity, any scar of misfortune to the face or figure of a friend, in not only a breach of etiquette of the grossest kind, but is a want of humanity and good feeling as well.

47. It is a breach of etiquette, when offering a gift, to represent it as valueless, or useless to yourself. "If you do not have it, the pigs will," is a homely old proverb in such cases, not acceptable in polite society.

48. It is a breach of etiquette to laugh at your own wit. If others will not do that for you, you had better let your remark pass unnoticed.

49. It is a breach of etiquette to lean heavily upon a table; and also to tip a chair to and fro when you are talking; and you will be justly punished if you find yourself sprawling on the floor with the chair on top of you.

50. It is a breach of etiquette to write your own remarks in a borrowed book.

51. Scolding is ill-bred.

52. It is a breach of etiquette for a gentleman to keep his hat on when handing a lady to a carriage.

53. The man who will insult his inferiors is a boor at heart, however polished he may appear amongst his equals, or however deferential to his superiors.

54. It is a breach of etiquette to display any bashfulness in company. Lord Chesterfield says: "As for the mauvaise honte, I hope you are above it. Your figure is like other people's; I suppose you will care that your dress shall be so too, and to avoid any singularity. What, then, should you be ashamed of? And why not go into a mixed company with as much ease and as little concern as you would go into your own room? Vice and ignorance are the only things I know which one ought to be ashamed of; keep clear of them, and you may go anywhere without fear or concern. I have known some people who, from feeling the pain and inconvenience of this mauvaise honte, have rushed into the other extreme, and turned impudent, as cowards sometimes grow desperate from the excess of danger; but this, too, is carefully to be avoided, there being nothing more generally shocking than impudence. The medium between the two extremes marks out the well- bred man; he feels himself firm and easy in all companies; is modest without being bashful, and steady without being impudent; if he is a stranger, he observes with care the manners and ways of the people most esteemed at that place, and conforms to them with complaisance."

55. It is a breach of etiquette to wear an air of abstraction in society if your mind is really so absorbed that you cannot pay attention to what is going on around you, you had better stay at home. An absent mind is much more frequently a proof of self- conceit than of genius.

56. Eccentricity of any kind is in bad taste.

57. To imitate the manners, voice, attitude, or gestures of great men were a folly almost too absurd to mention if it were not so common. Many persons, from a real or fancied personal resemblance to some celebrity, will ape their manners also, as if mere appearance would make them equally distinguished.

58. It is wiser, if you have met with reverses, to withdraw yourself from society than to have society withdraw from you.

59. It is a breach of etiquette to assume pedantic airs; to talk of the Latin and Greek authors, and quote in those languages.

60. It is a breach of etiquette to make a quotation in a foreign language and then translate it, thereby giving your listeners to understand that you do not consider them as well informed as yourself.

61. Shakespeare says: "To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man."

62. It is a breach of etiquette to contradict any one.

63. The man who would suffer himself to speak a word against a woman, or to rail at women generally, deserves a rebuke recently given to a coxcomb at an English dinner-party, who was checked in his loud abuse of the sex by one of the company, who said: "I hope it is the gentleman's own mother and sisters who are referred to, and not ours."

64. If you try to make yourself appear more important than you really are, you run the risk of being considered less so.

65. Marston says: "I, me, and mine, should be bowed out of genteel circles. Egotism adorns no one."

66. It is a breach of etiquette to offer a partner in dancing an ungloved hand.

67. Spitting is as vulgar as it is disgusting.

68. "The scholar, without good breeding, is a pedant; the philosopher, a cynic; the soldier, a brute; and every man disagreeable," says Chesterfield.

69. It is a breach of etiquette to betray an implied or involuntary confidence, even if you have not been bound to secresy.

70. Bishop Beveridge says: "Never speak of a man's virtues before his face, nor of his faults behind his back."

71. "In private, watch your thoughts; in your family, watch your temper; in society, watch your tongue."

72. "To arrive at the heart of true courtesy," says a modern writer, "separate the onld English titles for the well-bred; they were the gentle-man and gentle-woman."

73. It is better to live alone than in low company. If you cannot keep good company, keep none.

74. Sterne thus defines courtship: "True courtship consists in a number of quiet, gentlemanly attentions; not so pointed as to alarm, not so vague as to be misunderstood."

75. It is a breach of etiquette to enter a room noisily, slamming the door, or stamping heavily upon the floor.

76. It is a breach of etiquette to make violent or abrupt movements.

77. It is a breach of etiquette to neglect calling upon your friends. "Visiting," says a French writer, "forms the chord which binds society together, and it is so firmly tied that were the knot severed, society would perish."

78. It is a breach of etiquette to select the route when walking with a lady, unless she has requested you to do so.

79. It is ill-bred to refuse the last piece on the plate or dish, if it is offered to you, as it implies a fear that there is no more in the pantry.

80. It is a breach of etiquette to undertake any commission for a friend and neglect to perform it. Forgetfulness is no excuse.

81. It is a breach of etiquette to answer a serious remark by a flippant one.

82. Practical joking is a breach of etiquette that cannot be too severely censured.

83. It is a breach of etiquette to read when there is any other person present. In the family circle, a member who opens a book should apologize for and explain his apparent rudeness, if obliged to study or refer to the volume.

84. It is a breach of etiquette to yawn.

85. It is a breach of etiquette to blow the nose loudly.

86. It is a breach of etiquette to suck the teeth.

87. It is a breach of etiquette to pick the teeth or clean the nails in company.

88. It is a breach of etiquette to speak much of your own performances.

89. It is a gross breach of etiquette to pass between two persons who are conversing together.

90. It is a breach of etiquette to pass before anybody. If actually necessary, it must be done with an apology.

91. It is a breach of etiquette to urge wine upon a guest who has already declined to drink.

92. It is a breach of etiquette to write a letter of congratulation upon mourning paper, even if it is habitually used.

93. It is a breach of etiquette to call a new acquaintance by the Christian name, unless requested to do so.

94. If you write requesting an autograph, it is a breach of etiquette to omit to enclose a postage-stamp for the reply.

95. Ladies should avoid the use of strong perfumes. They are unpleasant to nauseating to some persons; and it is a breach of etiquette to annoy other people.

96. It is a breach of etiquette to lend a borrowed book, unless you have the special permission of the owner to do so.

97. It is a breach of etiquette, as well as a most dangerous experiment, to recommend remedies to an invalid who is under the care of a physician.

98. A lady commits a breach of etiquette that amounts to a gross impropriety by calling upon a gentleman, excepting upon business, at his place of business. Even relatives, unless in the immediate family, cannot receive calls from ladies at home.

THE END