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Around the World with Josiah Allen's Wife
by Marietta Holley
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Well, I spozed he wuz in the right on't, but every mou'ful he consumed riled me. But at last the plate wuz emptied and the coffee pot out and he sot off. And we searched all that day and the next and the next, and so did Miss Meechim and Arvilly, with tears runnin' down her face anon or oftener.

Robert Strong, led on, Miss Meechim said by her anxiety, but I thought mebby by the agony in Dorothy's sweet eyes as well as his own good heart, didn't leave a stone unturned in his efforts to find 'em. But they had disappeared utterly, no trace could be found of 'em. They had been seen during the evening with the two young men they had got acquainted with and that I didn't like. They had been seen speaking with them as they came out of the shop where Dorothy had sent Aronette, and the young men could not be found.

Well, we had all searched for three days without finding any trace of the two missing girls. Everything wuz ready for our departure, but Dorothy said that she could not, could not go without Aronette, but Robert Strong said and believed that the child was dead. He had come to the belief that she and Lucia by some accident had fallen into the water and wuz drowned. Dorothy had cried herself sick and she looked wan and white, but bein' so sweet dispositioned she give up when we all said that we must go before long, and said that she would go too, though I knew that her heart would remain there wanderin' round in them queer streets huntin' for her lost one. The morning of the third day after they wuz lost I wuz down in the parlor, when a man come in and spoke to Robert Strong, and they both went out together talking earnestly, and I see in Robert's face a look of horrow and surprise that I had never seen in it before; and the first time Robert saw me alone after that he told me the dretful news. He said that the man that spoke to him was a detective he had employed, and the evening before he had come acrost a man who had been out of town since the night Aronette wuz lost. This man told the detective that he saw her and Lucia and the two young men coming out of a saloon late at night, staggering and reeling they all wuz, and they disappeared down a cross street towards another licensed house of ruin. Licensed by Christian America! Oh, my achin' heart to think on't! "I wonder if our govermunt is satisfied now," I broke out, "since it has ruined her, one of the sweetest girls in the world. But how did they ever entice 'em into that saloon?" sez I.

"They might have made them think it was respectable, they do serve lunches at some of them; of course they didn't know what kind of a place it was. And after they wuz made stupid drunk they didn't know or care where they went."

"I wonder if America is satisfied now!" I sez agin, "reachin' out her long arms clear acrost the Pacific to lead them sweet girls into the pit she has dug for her soldiers? Oh!" sez I, "if she'd only been drownded!" And I wiped my streamin' eyes on my linen handkerchief.

And Robert sithed deep and sez, "Yes, if she had only died, and," he sez, "I can't tell Dorothy, I cannot."

And I sez, "There is no need on't; better let her think she's dead. How long," sez I, turning toward him fierce in my aspect, "how long is the Lord and decent folks goin' to allow such things to go on?"

And he sez, "Heaven knows, I don't." And we couldn't say more, for Dorothy wuz approachin', and Robert called up a smile to his troubled face as he went forward to meet her. But he told me afterwards that the news had almost killed Elder Wessel. He had to tell him to help him in his search. He wuz goin' to stay on there a spell longer. He had to tell him that Lucia had been seen with Aronette staggering out of a saloon with two young men late at night, reeling down a by-street to that other licensed house which our Christian govermunt keeps nigh the saloon, it is so obleegin' and fatherly to its men and boys.

When he told him Elder Wessel fell right down in his chair, Robert said, and buried his face in his hands, and when he took his hands down it wuz from the face of an old man, a haggard, wretched, broken-down old man.

The People's Club House didn't wear the kindly beneficent aspect it had wore. He felt that coffee and good books and music would have been safer to fill the Poor Man's Club with; safer for the poor man; safer for the poor man's family. Tea and coffee seemed to look different to him from whiskey, and true liberty that he had talked about didn't seem the liberty to kill and destroy. The license law didn't wear the aspect it had wore to him, the two licensed institutions Christian America furnished for its citizens at home and abroad seemed now to him, instead of something to be winked at and excused, to be two accursed hells yawning for the young and innocent and unsuspicious as well as for the wicked and evil-minded. Ungrateful country, here wuz one of thy sons who sung the praises of thy institutions under every sky! Ungrateful indeed, to pierce thy most devoted vassal with this sharp thorn, this unbearable agony.

"For how was he goin' to live through it," he cried. How was he? His beautiful, innocent daughter! his one pet lamb! It was not for her undoing that he had petted and smiled on these institutions, the fierce wolves of prey, and fed them with honeyed words of excuse and praise. No, it wuz for the undoing of some other man's daughter that he had imagined these institutions had been raised and cherished.

He wuz an old broken man when he tottered out of that room. And whilst we wuz moving heaven and earth hunting for the girls he wuz raving with delerium with a doctor and trained nurse over him. Poor man! doomed to spend his hull life a wretched wanderer, searching for the idol of his heart he wuz never to see agin—never!

Well, the time come when we wuz obleeged to leave Manila. Robert Strong, for Dorothy's sake as well as his own, left detectives to help on the search for the lost ones, and left word how to communicate with him at any time. Waitstill Webb, bein' consulted with, promised to do all in her power to help find them, but she didn't act half so shocked and horrified as I spozed she would, not half so much as Arvilly did. She forgot her canvassin' and wep' and cried for three or four days most all the time, and went round huntin', actin' more'n half crazy, her feelin's wuz such. But I spoze the reason Waitstill acted so calm wuz that such things wuz so common in her experience. She had knowledge of the deadly saloon and its twin licensed horror, dretful things was occurring all the time, she said.

The detectives also seemed to regard it as nothing out of the common, and as to the saloon-keeper, so much worse things wuz happenin' all the time in his profession, so much worse crimes, that he and his rich pardner, the American Govermunt, sees goin' on all the time in their countless places of bizness, murders, suicides, etc., that they evidently seemed to consider this a very commonplace affair; and so of the other house kep' by the two pardners, the brazen-faced old hag and Christian America, there, too, so many more terrible things wuz occurrin' all the time that this wuz a very tame thing to talk about.

But to us who loved her, to us whose hearts wuz wrung thinkin' of her, mournin' for her, cryin' on our pillers, seekin' with agonized, hopeless eyes for our dear one, we kep' on searchin' day and night, hopin' aginst hope till the last minute of our stay there. And the moon and stars of the tropics looked in night after night to the room where the old father lay at death's door, mourning for his beautiful innocent daughter who wuz lost—lost.

But the hour come for us to go and we went, and right by us, day or night, in sun or shade, from that hour on a black shadder walked by the side on us in place of the dimpled, merry face of the little maid. We didn't forgit her in the highest places or the lowest. And after days and days had passed I felt guilty, and as if I hadn't ort to be happy, and no knowin' where she'd drifted to in the cruel under world, and wuz like sea-weed driftin' in the ocean current. And when we wuz out evenin's, no matter where I wuz, I watched the faces of every painted, gaudy dressed creeter I see, flittin' down cross streets, hoping and dreading to see Aronette's little form. Arvilly and Miss Meechim openly and loudly, and Dorothy's pale face and sorrowful eyes, told the story that they too wuz on the watch and would always be. But never did we catch a glimpse of her! never, never.

As we drew nigh to the city of Victoria on Hongkong island we see that it wuz a beautiful place. Big handsome houses built of gray stun, broad roads tree-bordered, leadin' up from terrace to terrace, all full of trees, covered with luxuriant tropical foliage. It wuz a fair seen clear from the water's edge, with its tall handsome houses risin' right up from the edge of the bay, clear up to the top of Victoria mountain, that stands up two thousand feet, seemin'ly lookin' over the city to see what it is about. And this is truth and not clear simely, for the Governor General and Chief Justice have houses up there which they call bungalows, and of course they have got to see what is goin' on. The hull island is only nine milds long and three wide. And here we wuz ten thousand milds from home. Did the Hongkongers ever think on't, that they wuz ten thousand milds from Jonesville? I hope they didn't, it would make 'em too melancholy and deprested.

We all went to a comfortable tarven nigh by, and after partakin' of nourishin' food, though kinder queer, and a good night's rest, we felt ready to look round and see what we could. Josiah and I, with little Tommy, wuz the first ones up in the mornin', and after breakfast we sallied out into the street. Here I proposed that we should take a jinrikisha ride. This is a chair some like a big willow chair, only with a long pole fastened to each side and two men to carry you round. Josiah wuz real took with the looks on 'em, and as the prize wuz low we got into the chairs, Tommy settin' in Josiah's lap, and wuz carried for quite a ways through the narrer streets, with shops juttin' out on each side, makin' 'em still narrerer.

Josiah gin orders that I overheard to "go at a pretty good jog past the stores where wimmen buy sooveneers," but I presoomed that they didn't understand a word he said, so it didn't do any hurt and I laid out to git some all the same. But what a sight them streets wuz; they wuz about twenty feet wide, and smooth and clean, but considerable steep. To us who wuz used to the peaceful deacons of Jonesville and their alpaca-clad wives and the neighbors, who usually borry sleeve and skirt and coat and vest patterns, and so look all pretty much alike, what a sight to see the folks we did in goin' through just one street. Every sort of dress that ever wuz wore we see there, it seemed to me—Europeans, Turks, Mohomadeans, Malays, Japanese, Javanese, Hindoos, Portuguese, half castes, and Chinese coolies. Josiah still called 'em "coolers," because they wuz dressed kinder cool, but carryin' baskets, buckets, sedans, or trottin' a sort of a slow trot hitched into a jinrikisha, or holdin' it on each side with their hands, with most nothin' on and two pigtail braids hangin' down their backs, and such a jabberin' in language strange to Jonesville ears; peddlers yellin' out their goods, bells ginglin', gongs, fire-crackers, and all sorts of work goin' on right there in the streets. Strange indeed to Jonesville eyes! Catch our folks takin' their work outdoors; we shouldn't call it decent.

We went to the Public Gardens, which wuz beautiful with richly colored ornamental shrubbery. I sez to Josiah:

"Did I ever expect to see allspice trees?"

And he sez: "I can't bear allspice anyway."

"Well," sez I, "cinnamon trees; who ever thought of seein' cinnamon trees?"

An' he looked at 'em pretty shrewd and sez: "When I git home I shan't pay no forty cents a pound for cinnamon. I can tell 'em I've seen the trees and I know it ort to be cheaper." Sez he, "I could scrape off a pound or two with my jack-knife if we could carry it."

But I hurried him on; I wuzn't goin' to lug a little wad of cinnamon ten thousand milds, even if he got it honest. Well, we stayed here for quite a spell, seein' all the beautiful flowers, magnificent orchids—that would bring piles of money to home, jest as common here as buttercups and daisies in Jonesville, and other beautiful exotics, that we treasure so as houseplants, growin' out-doors here in grand luxuriance—palms, tree-ferns, banian trees, everything I used to wonder over in my old gography I see right here growin' free. Tommy wuz delighted with the strange, beautiful flowers, so unlike anything he had ever seen before. We had got out and walked round a spell here, and when we went to git into our sedan chairs agin, I wuz a little behind time, and Josiah hollered out to me:

"Fey tea, Samantha!"

"Tea?" sez I. "I hain't got any tea here." And I sez with dignity, "I don't know what you mean."

"Fey tea," he sez agin, lookin' clost at me.

And I sez agin with dignity, "I don't know what you mean." And he sez to me: "I am talkin' Chinese, Samantha; that means 'hurry up.' I shall use that in Jonesville. When you're standin' in the meetin' house door talkin' about bask patterns and hired girls with the female sisters, and I waitin' in the democrat, I shall holler out, 'Fie tea, Samantha;' it will be very stylish and uneek."

I didn't argy with him, but got in well as I could, but havin' stepped on my dress and most tore it, Josiah hollered out, "See sum! see sum! Samantha!"

And I, forgittin' his fashionable aims, sez to him, "See some what, Josiah?"

"See sum, Samantha. That means 'be careful.' I shall use that too in Jonesville. How genteel that will make me appear to holler out to Brother Gowdey or Uncle Sime Bentley, in a muddy or slippery time, 'See sum, Brother Gowdey; see sum, Uncle Sime!' Such doin's will make me sought after, Samantha."

"Well," sez I, "we'd better be gittin' back to the tarven, for Arvilly will be wonderin' where we are and the rest on 'em."

"Well, just as you say, Samantha," and he leaned back in his chair and waved his hand and says to the men, "Fey tea, fey tea; chop, chop."

I expect to see trouble with that man in Jonesville streets with his foreign ways.

Well, we wuz passin' through one of the narrer streets, through a perfect bedlam of strange cries in every strange language under the sun, so it seemed, and seein' every strange costoom that wuz ever wore, when, happy sight to Jonesville eyes, there dawned on my weary vision a brown linen skirt and bask, made from my own pattern.

Yes, there stood Arvilly conversin' with a stately Sikh policeman. She held up the "Twin Crimes" in a allurin' way and wuz evidently rehearsin' its noble qualities. But as he didn't seem to understand a word she said she didn't make a sale. But she wuz lookin' round undanted for another subscriber when she ketched sight of us. And at my request we dismissed the jinrikishas and walked back to the tarven with her.

Dorothy and Miss Meechim and Robert Strong come back pretty soon from a tower of sight-seein', and they said we'd all been invited to tiffen with the Governor-General the next day. Well, I didn't have the least idee what it wuz, but I made up my mind to once that if tiffenin' wuz anything relatin' to gamblin' or the opium trade, I shouldn't have a thing to do with it. But Josiah spoke right up and sez he had rather see tiffen than anybody else in China, and mistrustin' from Robert's looks that he had made a mistake, he hastened to add that tiffenin' wuz sunthin' he had always hankered after; he had always wanted to tiffen, but hadn't the means in Jonesville.

Sez Robert, "Then I shall accept this invitation for breakfast for all our party." And after they went out I sez: "I'd hold myself a little back, Josiah. To say that you'd never had means to take breakfast in Jonesville shows ignorance and casts a slur on me."

"Oh, I meant I never had any tiffen with it, Samantha; you'll see it don't mean plain breakfast; you'll see that they'll pass some tiffen, and we shall have to eat it no matter what it's made on, rats or mice or anything. Whoever heard of common breakfast at twelve M.?"

Well, it did mean just breakfast, and we had a real good time. We went up in sedan chairs, though we might have gone on the cars. But we wanted to go slower to enjoy the scenery.

I had thought the view from the hill back of Grout Nickleson's wuz beautiful, and also the Pali at Honolulu, but it did seem to me that the seen we looked down on from the top of Victoria mountain wuz the most beautiful I ever did see. The city lay at our feet embowered in tropical foliage, with its handsome uneek buildin's, its narrer windin' streets stretchin' fur up the mountain side, runnin' into narrerer mountain paths covered with white sand. The beautiful houses and gardens of the English colony clost down to the shore. The tall masts of the vessels in the harbor looking like a water forest with flowers of gayly colored flags. And further off the Canton or Pearl River, with scores of villages dotting its banks; glittering white temples, with their pinnacles glistening in the sunlight; pagodas, gayly painted with gilded bells, rising up from the beautiful tropical foliage; broad green fields; mountains soarin' up towards the blue heavens and the blue waters of the sea.

A fair seen, a fair seen! I wished that sister Henzy could see it, and told Josiah so.

And he sez with a satisfied look, "Wait till I describe it to 'em, Samantha. They'd ruther have me describe it to 'em than see it themselves." I doubted it some, but didn't contend.

The breakfast wuz a good one, though I should have called it dinner to home. Josiah wuz on the lookout, I could see, for tiffen to be passed, but it wuzn't, so he ort to give up, but wouldn't; but argyed with me out to one side that "they wuz out of tiffen, and hadn't time to buy any and couldn't borry."

Well, the Governor-General seemed to be greatly taken with Dorothy. A relation on his own side wuz the hostess, and Miss Meechim acted real relieved when it turned out that he had a wife who wuz visiting in England.

I sot at the right hand of the Governor-General and I wanted to talk to him on the opium question and try to git him to give up the trade, but concluded that I wouldn't tackle him at his own table. But I kep' up a stiddy thinkin'.

That very mornin' I read in the daily paper that two missionaries had arrived there the day before, and on the same steamer three hundred chests of opium.

Poor creeters! didn't it seem mockin' the name of religion to help convert the natives and on the same steamer send three hundred chests of the drug to ondo their work and make idiots and fiends of 'em.

It seemed to me some as if I should read in the Jonesville "Augur" or "Gimlet" that our govermunt had sent out three or four fat lambs to help the starvin' poor and sent 'em in the care of thirty or forty tigers and wild cats.

No doubt the lambs would git there, but they would be inside the wild cats and tigers.

Such wicked and foolish and inconsistent laws if made by women would make talk amongst the male sect, and I wouldn't blame 'em a mite; I should jine with 'em and say, "Sure enough it is a proof that wimmen don't know enough to vote and hain't good enough; let 'em drop the political pole, retire into the background and study statesmanship and the Bible, specially the golden rule." But to resoom.

Arvilly tried to turn the conversation on the "Twin Crimes" of America, but didn't come right out and canvass him, for which I wuz thankful. They all paid lots of attention to Tommy, who had a great time, and I spoze Carabi did too.

We had fruits and vegetables at the table, all gathered from the Governor-General's garden—fresh fruit and vegetables in February, good land! Pickin' berries and pineapples while the Jonesvillians' fruit wuz snowballs and icesuckles; jest think on't!

Well, Robert Strong thought we had better proceed on to Canton the next day and we wuz all agreeable to it.

After we all went back to the tarven and I had laid down a spell and rested, I went out with Arvilly and Tommy for a little walk, Miss Meechim, and Dorothy, and Robert Strong havin' gone over to Maceo, the old Portuguese town on the mainland. They wanted to see the place where Camoens wrote his great poem, "The Lusiad," and where he writ them heart-breakin' poems to Catarina. Poor creeters! they had to be separated. King John sent him off from Lisbon, wantin' the girl himself, so I spoze. Catarina died soon of a broken heart, but Camoens lived on for thirty years in the body, and is livin' now and will live on in the Real Life fer quite a spell.

Yes, his memory is jest as fresh now as it ever wuz in them streets he wandered in durin' his sad exile, while the solid stun his feet trod on has mouldered and gone to pieces, which shows how much more real the onseen is than the seen, and how much more indestructible. Iron pillars and granite columns aginst which his weary head had leaned oft-times had all mouldered and decayed. But the onseen visions that Camoens see with his rapt poet's eye wuz jest as fresh and deathless as when he first writ 'em down. And his memory hanted the old streets, and went before 'em and over 'em. How much more real than the tropical birds that wheeled and glittered in the luxuriant tropical foliage, though they couldn't lay hands on 'em and ketch 'em and bring a few to me, much as I would liked to have had 'em. But these bein' the real, as I say, they wuz also with me way over in Hongkong. I thought a sight on him all the time they wuz gone, and afterwards I thought of the honor and dignity his noble verse had gin to his country, and how princely the income they had gin him after they let him return from his exile. Twenty-one dollars a year! What a premium that wuz upon poesy; the Muse must have felt giddy to think she wuz prized so high, and his native land repented of the generosity afterwards and stopped the twenty-one dollars a year.

But then after his starved and strugglin' life wuz ended his country acted in the usual way, erected monuments in his honor, and struck off medals bearin' his liniment. The worth of one medal or one little ornament on the peak of one of his statutes might have comforted the broken heart and kep' alive the starved body and gin him some comfort. But that hain't the way of the world; the world has always considered it genteel and fashionable to starve its poets, and stun its prophets, with different kinds of stuns, but all on 'em hard ones; not that it has done so in every case, but it has always been the fashionable way.

Dorothy and Robert talked quite a good deal about the sad poet and his works, their young hearts feelin' for his woe; mebby sunthin' in their own hearts translatin' the mournful history; you know plates have to be fixed jest right or the colors won't strike in. It is jest so in life. Hearts must be ready to photograph the seens on, or they won't be took. Some hearts and souls are blank plates and will always remain so. Arvilly seemed lost in thought as they talked about the poet (she hain't so well versed in poetry as she is in the license laws and the disabilities of wimmen), and when she hearn Robert Strong say, "Camoens will live forever," she sez dreamily:

"I wonder if he'd want to subscribe for the 'Twin Crimes'?" And sez she, "I am sorry I didn't go over with you and canvass him." Poor thing! she little knew he had got beyend canvassin' and all other cares and troubles of life two hundred years ago. But Miss Meechim wuz dretful worked up about the gambling going on at Maceo, and she sez it is as bad as at Monte Carlo. (I didn't know who he wuz, but spozed that he wuz a real out and out gambler and blackleg). And sez she, "Oh, how bad it makes me feel to see such wickedness carried on. How it makes my heart yearn for my own dear America!" Miss Meechim is good in some things; she is as loyal to her own country as a dog to a root, but Arvilly sez:

"I guess we Americans hadn't better find too much fault with foreign natives about gambling, when we think of our stock exchanges, huge gamblin' houses where millions are gambled for daily; thousands of bushels of wheat put up there that never wuz growed only in the minds of the gamblers. Why," sez Arvilly, warmin' up with her subject, "we are a nation of gamblers from Wall Street, where gamblin' is done in the name of greed, down to meetin' houses, where bed-quilts and tidies are gambled for in the name of religion. From millionaires who play the game for fortunes down to poor backwoodsmen who raffle for turkeys and hens, and children who toss pennies for marbles."

Sez Miss Meechim, "I guess I will take a little quinine and lay down a spell." Arvilly tosted her head quite a little after she retired and then she went out to canvass a clerk in the office. Arvilly is dantless in carriage, but she is too hash. I feel bad about it.



CHAPTER XV

Arvilly and I went out for a walk, takin' Tommy with us. We thought we would buy some sooveneers of the place. Sez Arvilly, "I want to prove to the Jonesvillians that I've been to China, and I want to buy some little presents for Waitstill Webb, that I can send her in a letter."

And I thought I would buy some little things for the children, mebby a ivory croshay hook for Tirzah Ann and a paper cutter for Thomas J., and sunthin' else for Maggie and Whitfield. It beats all what exquisite ivory things we did see, and in silver, gold, shell, horn and bamboo, every article you can think on and lots you never did think on, all wrought in the finest carvin' and filigree work. Embroideries in silk and satin and cloth of gold and silver, every beautiful thing that wuz ever made you'd see in these shops.

I wuz jest hesitatin' between a ivory bodkin with a butterfly head and a ivory hook with a posy on the handle, when I hearn the voice of my pardner, seemin'ly makin' a trade with somebody, and I turned a little corner and there I see him stand tryin' to beat down a man from Tibet, or so a bystander told me he wuz, a queer lookin' creeter, but he understood a few English words, and Josiah wuz buyin' sunthin' as I could see, but looked dretful meachin and tried to conceal his purchase as he ketched my eye. I see he wuz doin' sunthin' he ort not to do, meachinness and guilt wuz writ down on his liniment. But my axent and mean wuz such that he produced the object and tried hard to explain and apologize.

It wuz a little prayer-wheel designed for written prayers to be put in and turned with a crank, or it could be hitched to water power or a wind-mill or anything, and the owner could truly pray without ceasing. Oh how I felt as he explained! I felt that indeed the last straw wuz bein' packed onto my back, but Josiah kep' on with his apoligizin'.

"You needn't look like that, Samantha; I can tell you I hain't gin up religion or thought on't. I want you to know that I am still a strong, active member of the M. E. meetin' house, but at the same time," sez he, "if I—if there—spozein' there wuz, as it were, some modifications and conveniences that would help a Christian perfessor along, I don't know as I would be to blame to avail myself of 'em."

Sez I, "If you're guiltless what makes you look so meachin?"

"Well, I most knew you wouldn't approve on it, but," sez he, "I can tell you in a few short words what it will do. You can write your prayers all out when you have time and put 'em into this wheel and turn it, or you can have it go by water, you can hitch it to the windmill and have it a-prayin' while you water the cattle in the mornin', and I thought, Samantha, that in hayin' time or harvestin' when I am as busy as the old Harry I could use it that way, or I could be a turnin' it on my way to the barn to do the chores, or I could hitch it onto the grin'stone and Ury and I could pray for the whole family whilst we wuz whettin' the scythes."

"Not for me," sez I, groanin' aloud, "not for me."

"You needn't look like that, Samantha; I tell you agin I wuzn't goin' to use it only when I wuz driv to death with work. And I tell you it would be handy for you when you expected a houseful of company, and Philury wuz away."

"No, indeed!" sez I; "no such wicked, wicked work will be connected with my prayers."

"Well," sez Arvilly, "I d'no as it would be much wickeder than some prayers I've hearn when folks wuz in a hurry; they would run their thanksgivin's into their petitions and them into their amens, and gallop through 'em so there wuzn't a mite of sense in 'em. Or take so much pains to inform the Lord about things. I hearn one man say," sez Arvilly:

"'O Lord, thou knowest by the morning papers, so and so.' I d'no as a prayer turned off by a wheel would look much worse or be much less acceptable."

Josiah looked encouraged, and sez he to me, soty vosey, "Arvilly always did have good horse sense."

Sez I, "They wuzn't run by machinery—wicked, wicked way. A boughten machine!" sez I, shettin' up my eyes and groanin' agin.

"No," sez Josiah eagerly, "I wuz agoin' to tell you; I've got a wheel to home and a cylinder that come offen that old furnace regulator that didn't work, and I thought that with a little of Ury's help I could fix one up jest as good as this, and I could sell this for twice what I gin for it to Deacon Henzy or old Shelmadine, or rent it through hayin' and harvestin' to the brethren, or——"

Sez I, "You would disseminate these wicked practices, would you, in dear Christian Jonesville? No, indeed."

"I tell you agin I wuzn't a-goin' to use it only in the most hurryin' times—I——"

But I sez, "I will hear no more; give it back to the man and come with your pardner!"

And I linked my arm in hisen and motioned to the man to move off with his wheels. And my looks wuz that dignified and lofty that I spoze it skairt him and he started off almost immegiately and to once.

And I hain't hern no more about it, but don't know how much more trouble I may have with it. No knowin' what that man may take it into his head to do in Jonesville or China. But prayer-wheels! little did I think when I stood at the altar with Josiah Allen that I should have to dicker with them.

It only took six hours to sail from Hongkong up to Canton. The scenery along the Pearl River is not very interesting except the rice fields, banana groves with pagodas risin' amongst 'em anon or oftener, and the strange tropical foliage, cactuses that we raise in little jars riz up here like trees.

The native villages along the ruther flat shore looked kinder dilapidated and run down, but yet they looked so different from Jonesville houses that they wuz interestin' in a way. The forts that we passed occasionally looked as if they would stand quite a strain. But the queerest sight wuz the floatin' houses that we had to sail through to land. Two hundred thousand folks live on them boats, are born on 'em, grow up, marry, raise a family and die, all right there on the water, just as other folks live on the land.

If a young man courts a girl he takes her and her setting out, which is mebby a extra night gown, or I don't know what they do call 'em—their dresses look like night gowns. Well, she will take that and a rice kettle and go into his junk and mebby never leave it through her life only to visit her friends. The children swarmed on them boats like ants on a ant-hill, and they say that if they git too thick they kinder let 'em fall overboard, not push 'em off, but kinder let 'em go accidental like, specially girls, they kinder encourage girls fallin' off. And the Chinese think that it is wrong to save life. If any one is drownin', for instance, they think that it is the will of the higher Power and let 'em go. But they look down on girls dretfully. If you ask a Chinaman how many children he has got he will say "Two children and two piecee girl." Jest as if boys was only worthy to be called children, and girls a piece of a child. Miss Meechim wuz indignant when that way of theirs wuz mentioned; she considers herself as good if not better than one man and a half. Sez she: "The idee of calling a boy a child, and a girl a piece of a child, or words that mean that."

But Arvilly sez, "Well, how much better is it in the United States—or most of 'em? Girls don't even have the comfort of thinkin' that they're a piece of a person; they're just nothin' at all in the eyes of the law—unless the law wants to tax 'em to raise money." Sez she, "I would be thankful 'lection day if I wuz a piece of a woman, so that five or six of us would make a hull citizen." Miss Meechim had never thought on't before, she said she hadn't, but nobody could git her to say a word aginst American customs no more than they could aginst herself. She thinks that she and America are perfect, but puts herself first. Well, America is the best land under the sun; I've always said so. But I feel towards it as I do towards Josiah: what faults it has I want to talk it out of, so that it will stand up perfect among nations as Josiah could amongst men if he would hear to me. Arvilly likes to stir Miss Meechim up; I believe she sez things a purpose sometimes to set Miss Meechim off; but then Arvilly talks from principle, too, and she is real cute.

There wuz all sorts of boats, theatre junks and concert junks and plain junks, and Josiah wuz dretful took with this floatin' city, and sez to once that he should build a house boat as soon as he got home—he and Ury. He said that he could use the old hay-rack to start it—that and the old corn-house would most make it.

"Where will you put it?" sez I.

"Oh, on the creek or the canal," sez he. "It will be so uneek for us to dwell when we want to, on the briny deep."

"I guess there hain't much brine in the creek or the canal," Josiah.

"Well, I said that for poetical purposes. But you know that it would be very stylish to live in a boat, and any time we wanted to, when onexpected company wuz comin', or the tax collector or book agent, jest hist the sail and move off, it would be dretful handy as well as stylish."

"Well, well," sez I, "you can't build it till you git home." I felt that he would forgit it before then. Arvilly looked thoughtfully at 'em and wondered how she wuz goin' to canvass 'em, and if they would do as Josiah intimated if they see her comin'. Miss Meechim wondered if they could git to meetin' in time, they seemed to move so slow, and Robert Strong said to Dorothy:

"Well, a poor man can feel that he owns the site his home stands on, as well as the rich man can, and that would be a hopeless attempt for him in our large American cities, and he can't be turned out of his home by some one who claims the land."

And Tommy wondered how the little boys could play ball, and if they didn't want to slide down hill, or climb trees, or pick berries, and so on and so on. And every one on us see what wuz for us to see in the movin' panoramy.

Canton is a real queer city. The streets are so narrer that you can almost reach out your hands and touch the houses on both sides, they are not more than seven or eight feet wide. There are no horses in Canton, and you have to git about on "shanks's horses," as Josiah calls it, your own limbs you know, or else sedan chairs, and the streets are so narrer, some on 'em, that once when we met some big Chinese man, a Mandarin I believe they called him, we had to hurry into one of the shops till he got by, and sometimes in turnin' a corner the poles of our chairs had to be run way inside of the shops, and Josiah said:

"I would like to see how long the Jonesvillians would stand such doin's; I would like to see old Gowdey's fills scrapin' my cook stove, it is shiftless doin's, and ort to be stopped."

But I knew he couldn't make no change and I hushed him up as well as I could. Robert Strong got quite a comfortable tarven for us to stay in. But I wuz so afraid all the time of eatin' rats and mice that I couldn't take any comfort in meat vittles. They do eat rats there, for I see 'em hangin' in the markets with their long tails curled up, ready to bile or fry. Josiah said he wished he had thought on't, he would brung out a lot to sell, and he wuz all rousted up to try to make a bargain to supply one of these shops with rats and mice. Sez he:

"It will be clear profit, Samantha, for I want to get rid on 'em, and all the Jonesvillians do, and if I can sell their carcasses I will throw in the hide and taller. Why, I can make a corner on rats and mice in Jonesville; I can git 'em by the wagon load of the farmers and git pay at both ends." But I told him that the freightage would eat up the profits, and he see it would, and gin up the idee onwillin'ly.

Though I don't love such hot stuff as we had to eat, curry, and red peppers, and chutney, not to home I don't, but I see it wuz better to eat such food there on account of the climate. Some of our party had to take quinine, too, for the stomach's sake to keep up, for you feel there like faintin' right away, the climate is such.

It must be that the Chinese like amusements, for we see sights of theatres and concert rooms and lanterns wuz hangin' everywhere and bells. And there wuz streets all full of silk shops, and weavers, and jewelry, and cook shops right open on either side. All the colors of the rainbow and more too you see in the silks and embroideries, and jewelry of all kinds and swingin' signs and mat awnings overhead, and the narrer streets full of strange lookin' folks, in their strange lookin' dresses.

We visited a joss house, and a Chinaman's paradise where opium eaters and smokers lay in bunks lookin' as silly and happy as if they wouldn't ever wake up agin to their tawdy wretchedness. We visited a silk manufactory, a glass blowing shop. We see a white marble pagoda with several tiers of gilded bells hangin' on the outside. Inside it wuz beautifully ornamented, some of the winders wuz made of the inside of oyster shells; they made a soft, pleasant light, and it had a number of idols made of carved ivory and some of jade stun, and the principal idol wuz a large gilded dragon.

Josiah said the idee of worshippin' such a looking creeter as that. Sez he, "I should ruther worship our old gander." And Miss Meechim wuz horrified, too, at the wickedness of the Chinese in worshippin' idols.

But Arvilly walked around it with her head up, and said that America worshipped an idol that looked enough sight worse than that and a million times worse actin'. Sez she, "This idol will stay where it is put, it won't rare around and murder its worshippers."

And Miss Meechim sez coldly, "I don't know what you mean; I know that I am an Episcopalian and worship as our beautiful creed dictates."

Sez Arvilly, "Anybody that sets expediency before principle, from a king to a ragpicker; any one who cringes to a power he knows is vile and dangerous, and protects and extends its influence from greed and ambition, such a one worships a far worse idol than this peaceable, humbly-lookin' critter and looks worse to me enough sight."

I hearn Miss Meechim say out to one side to Dorothy, "How sick I am of hearing her constant talk against intemperance; from California to China I have had to hear it. And you know, Dorothy, that folks can drink genteel."

But Dorothy, with her sweet lips trembling and her white dimpled chin quivering, sez, "I should think we had suffered enough from the Whiskey Power, Auntie, to hear anything said against it, and at any time."

And Robert Strong jined in with Dorothy, and so Miss Meechim subsided, and I see a dark shadder creep over her face, too, and tears come into her pale blue eyes. She hain't forgot Aronette, poor little victim! Crunched and crushed under the wheels of the monster Juggernaut America rolls round to crush its people under. I wuz some like Arvilly. When I thought of that I didn't feel to say so much aginst them foreign idols, though they wuz humbly lookin' as I ever see. And speakin' of idols, one day we see twelve fat hogs in a temple, where they wuz kept as sacred animals, and here agin Miss Meechim wuz horrified and praised up American doin's, and run down China, and agin Arvilly made remarks. Sez she:

"The hogs there wallowing in their filth are poor lookin' things to kneel down and worship, but they're shut up here with priests to tend to 'em; they can't git out to roam round and entice innocents into their filthy sties and perpetuate their swinish lives, and that is more than we can say of the American beastly idols, or our priesthood who fatten them and themselves and then let 'em out to rampage round and act."

Miss Meechim sithed deep and remarked to me "that the tariff laws wuz a absorbin' topic to her mind at that time." She did it to change the subject.

We went to a Chinese crematory and the Temple of Longevity, where if you paid enough you could git a promise of long life. Josiah is clost, but he gin quite a good deal for him, and wuz told that he would live to be one hundred and twenty-seven years of age. He felt well. Of course we had a interpreter with is who talked for us. Josiah wanted me to pay, too, for a promise. Sez he with a worried look:

"I shall be wretched as a widower, Samantha; do patronize 'em, I had ruther save on sunthin' else than this."

So to please him I gin 'em a little more than he did, and they guaranteed me one hundred and forty years, and then Josiah worried agin and wanted me to promise not to marry agin after he wuz gone. He worships me. And I told him that if I lived to be a hundred and forty I guessed I shouldn't be thinkin' much about marryin', and he looked easier in his mind.

One day we met a weddin' procession, most a mild long, I should say. The bride wuz ahead in her sedan chair, her dress wuz richly embroidered and spangled, a veil fringed with little pearls hung over her face. Pagodas with tinkling gilt bells, sedan chairs full of silk and cloth and goods of all kinds wuz carried in the procession by coolies. Idols covered with jade and gilt jewelry, a company of little children beatin' tom-toms and gongs, and the stuffed bodies of animals all ornamented with gilt and red paper riggers wuz carried, and at the tail end of the procession come the friends of the family.

The bridegroom wuzn't there, he wuz waitin' to hum in his own or his father's house for the bride he'd never seen. But if the bride's feet wuz not too large he would most likely be suited.

Miss Meechim said, "Poor young man! to have to take a wife he has never seen; how widely different and how immeasurably better are such things carried on in America."

Sez Arvilly, "What bridegroom ever did see his bride as she really wuz? Till the hard experience of married life brought out her hidden traits, good and bad? Or what wife ever see her husband's real temper and character until after years of experience?"

Sez I, "That's so; leaves are turned over in Josiah Allen's mind now as long as we've been pardners that has readin' on 'em as strange to me as if they wuz writ in Chinese or Japan."

But then it must be admitted that not to see your wife's face and know whether she's cross-eyed or snub-nosed is tryin'. But they say it is accordin' to the decree of Feng Shui, and therefore they accept it willingly. They have a great variety of good fruit in Canton—some that I never see before—but their vegetables don't taste so good as ours, more stringy and watery, and their eggs they want buried six months before usin' 'em. I believe that sickened me of China as much as anything. But then some folks at home want their game kep' till it hain't fit to eat in my opinion. But eggs! they should be like Caesar's wife, above suspicion—the idee of eatin' 'em with their shells all blue and spotted with age—the idee!



CHAPTER XVI

We wuz all invited one day to dine with a rich Chinaman Robert Strong had got acquainted with in San Francisco. Arvilly didn't want to go, and offered to keep Tommy with her, and the rest of us went. The house wuz surrounded with a high wall, and we entered through a small door in this wall, and went into a large hall openin' on a courtyard. The host met us and we set down on a raised seat covered with red cloth under some big, handsome lanterns that wuz hung over our heads. Servants with their hair braided down their backs and with gay dresses on brought in tea—as good as any I ever drank—and pipes. Josiah whispered to me:

"How be I agoin' to smoke tobacco, Samantha? It will make me sick as death. You know I never smoked anything but a little catnip and mullen for tizik. I wonder if he's got any catnip by him; I'm goin' to ask."

But I kep' him from it, and told him that we could just put the stems in our mouths, and pretend to smoke enough to be polite.

"Hypocrasy," sez Josiah, "don't become a deacon in high standin'. If I pretend to smoke I shall smoke, and take a good pull." And he leaned back and shut his eyes and took his pipe in his hand, and I guess he drawed on it more than he meant to, for he looked bad, sickish and white round his mouth as anything. But we all walked out into the garden pretty soon and he looked resuscitated.

It was beautiful there; rare flowers and exotics of all kinds, trees that I never see before and lots that I had seen, sparklin' fountains with gold fish, grottos all lit up by colored lanterns, and little marble tablets with wise sayings. Josiah said he believed they wuz ducks' tracks, and wondered how ducks ever got up there to make 'em, but the interpreter read some on 'em to us and they sounded first rate. Way up on a artificial rock, higher than the Jonesville steeple, wuz a beautiful pavilion with gorgeous lanterns in it and beautiful bronzes and china.

In the garden wuz growin' trees, trimmed all sorts of shapes, some on 'em wuz shaped like bird cages and birds wuz singin' inside of 'em. There wuz one like a jinrikisha with a horse attached, all growin', and one like a boat, and two or three wuz pagodas with gilt bells hangin' to 'em, another wuz shaped like a dragon, and some like fish and great birds. It wuz a sight to see 'em, all on 'em a growin', and some on 'em hundreds of years old. Josiah says to me:

"If I ever live to git home I will surprise Jonesville. I will have our maple and apple trees trimmed in this way if I live. How uneek it will be to see the old snow apple tree turned into a lumber wagon, and the pound sweet into a corn house, and the maples in front of the house you might have a couple on 'em turned into a Goddess of Liberty and a statter of Justice, you are such a hand for them two females," sez he. "Of course we should have to use cloth for Justice's eye bandages, and her steelyards I believe Ury and I could trim out, though they might not weigh jest right to the notch."

And I sez, "Justice has been used to that, to not weighin' things right, it wouldn't surprise her." But I told him it would be sights of work and mebby he'll give it up.

Soon afterwards we wuz all invited to dinner in this same house. And so ignorant are the Chinese of Jonesville ways that at a dinner the place of honor is at the left instead of the right of the host. Everything that can be in China is topsy tervy and different from us. I wuz chose for that honorable place at the left of our host. We all stood for quite a while, for it is China table etiquette to try to make the guest next to us set down first, but finally we all sot down similtaneous and at the same time. Josiah thinks that it is because China is right down under us the reason that she gits so turned over and strange actin', but 'tennyrate, endin' our dinner as we do with sweets, it didn't surprise me that we begun our dinner by havin' sweetmeats passed, each one helpin' ourselves with chop sticks, queer things to handle as I ever see, some like the little sticks I have seen niggers play tunes with. Josiah seemed to enjoy hisen the best that ever wuz, and to my horrow he took both on 'ern in his right hand and begun to play Yankee Doodle on 'em.

I stepped on his foot hard under the table, and he broke off with a low groan, but I spoze they would lay it to a foreigner's strange ways. After the sweetmeats wuz partook of we had dried melon seeds, the host handin' 'em round by the handful. Josiah slipped his into his pocket. I wuz mortified enough, but he said:

"Of course he wants us to plant 'em; nobody but a fool would expect us to eat melon seeds or horse feed."

I wuz glad Josiah didn't speak in China, I guess they didn't understand him. A rice-wine wuz passed with this, which of course I did not partake of. Much as I wanted to be polite I could not let this chance pass of holdin' up my temperance banner. I had seen enough trouble caused by folks in high station not holdin' up temperance principles at banquets, and I wuzn't to be ketched in the same way, so I waived it off with a noble and lofty jester, but Miss Meechim drinked wine every time it wuz passed, and she got real tonguey before we went home, and her eyes looked real kinder glassy—glassier than a perfessor's eyes ort to look. Then we had bird's-nest soup, which is one of the most costly luxuries to be had in Canton. They are found on precipitous rocks overhanging the sea, and one must risk his life to get them. It didn't taste any better to me than a chip. It seemed to be cut in little square yeller pieces, kind of clear lookin', some like preserved citron only it wuz lighter colored, and Josiah whispered to me:

"We can have bird's-nest soup any day to hum, Samantha. Jest think of the swaller's nest in the barn and robin's nest and crow's nest, why one crow's nest would last us a week."

"It would last a lifetime, Josiah, if I had to cook it; sticks and straw."

"Well, it would be real uneek to cook one, or a hornet's nest, and would be a rarity for the Jonesvillians, and in the winter, if we run out of bird's-nest, you could cook a hen's nest."

But I sez, "Keep still, Josiah, and let's see what we'll have next."

Well, we had ham, fish, pigeon's eggs and some things I didn't know the name of. The host took up a little mess of sunthin' on his chop stick and handed it to me. I dassent refuse it, for he meant it as a honor, but I most know it wuz rat meat, but couldn't tell for certain. I put my shoulder blades to the wheel and swallered it, but it went down hard.

Bowls of rice wuz passed round last. Between the courses we had the best tea I ever tasted of; only a few of the first leaves that open on the tea plant are used for this kind of tea, and a big field would be gone over for a pound of it. After it is cured it is flavored with the tea blossom. I had spozed I had made good tea to home on my own hot water tank, and drinked it, but I gin up that I had never tasted tea before.

On our way home we went through the Street of Benevolence and I wuz ashamed to run Miss Meechim in my mind.

They name their streets real funny; one street is called Everlasting Love, or it means that in our language, and there is Refreshing Breezes, Reposing Dragons, Honest Gain, Thousand Grandsons, Heavenly Happiness, and etc., etc.

Josiah said that he should see Uncle Sime Bentley and Deacon Henzy about naming over the Jonesville streets the minute he got home. Sez he, "How uneek it will be to trot along through Josiah's Never Ending Success, or Prosperous Interesting Josiah, or the Glorious Pathmaster, or the Divine Travellin' Deacon, or sunthin' else uneek and well meanin'."

Sez I, "You seem to want to name 'em all after yourself, Josiah. Uncle Sime and Deacon Henzy would probable want one or two named after them."

"Well," sez he, "we could name one Little Uncle, and one Spindlin' Deacon, if they insisted on't."

Josiah wuz in real good sperits, I laid it partly to the tea, it wuz real stimulating; Josiah said that it beat all that the Chinese wuz so blinded and out of the way as to do things so different from what they did in Jonesville. "But," sez he, "they're politer on the outside than the Jonesvillians, even down to the coolers."

Sez I, "Do you mean the coolies?"

"Yes, the coolers, the hired help, you know," sez he. "Catch Ury fixin' his eye on his left side coat collar when he speaks to me not dastin' to lift it, and bowin' and scrapin' when I told him to go and hitch up, or bring in a pail of water, and catch him windin' his hair in a wod when he wuz out by himself and then lettin' it down his back when he came to wait on me."

Sez I, "Ury's hair is too short to braid."

"Well, you can spozen the case, can't you? But as I wuz sayin', for all these coolers are so polite, I would trust Ury as fur agin as I would any on 'em. And then they write jest the other way from we do in Jonesville, begin their letters on the hind side and write towards 'em; and so with planin' a board, draw the plane towards 'em. I would like to see Ury try that on any of my lumber. And because we Jonesvillians wear black to funerals, they have to dress in white. Plow would I looked at my mother-in-law's funeral with a white night gown on and my hair braided down my back with a white ribbin on it? It would have took away all the happiness of the occasion to me.

"And then their language, Samantha, it is fixed in such a fool way that when they want a word different, they yell up the same word louder and that makes it different, as if I wuz to say to Ury kinder low and confidential, 'I shall be the next president, Ury;' and then I should yell up the same words a little louder and that would mean, 'Feed the brindle steer;' there hain't no sense in it. But I spoze one thing that ails them is their havin' to stand bottom side up, their feet towards Jonesville. Their blood runs the wrong way. Mebby I shouldn't do any better than they do if I stood so the hull of the time; mebby I should let my finger nails grow out like bird's claws and shake my own hands when I meet company instead of theirn. Though," sez Josiah, dreamily, "I don't know but I shall try that in Jonesville; I may on my return from my travels walk up to Elder Minkley and the bretheren in the meetin'-house, and pass the compliments with 'em and clasp my own hands and shake 'em quite a spell, not touchin' their hands. I may, but can't tell for certain; it would be real uneek to do it."

"Well," sez I, "Josiah, every country has its own strange ways; we have ourn."

Sez he, "How you would scold me if I wuz to wear my hat when we had company, and here it is manners to do it, and take off your specs. Why should I take off my specs to meet Elder Minkley?"

"Well," sez I, "there hain't anything out of the way in it, if they want to."

Sez Josiah, "You seem to take to China ways so, you and Arvilly, that I spoze mebby you'll begin to bandage your feet when you git home, and toddle round on your big toes."

And I sez, "I d'no but I'd jest as soon do that as to girt myself down with cossets, or walk round with a trailin' dress wipin' up all the filth of the streets to carry home to make my family sick."

But it is a awful sight. I had the chance right there in Canton to see a foot all bound up to make it the fashionable size.

The four small toes wuz twisted right under the ankle, and the broken, crushed bones of the foot pressed right up where the instep should be. The pain must have been sunthin' terrible, and very often a toe drops off, but I spoze they are glad of that, for it would make the little lump of dead flesh they call their feet smaller. They wear bright satin shoes, all embroidered and painted, and their little pantelettes cover all but the very end of the toe. They all, men and wimmen, wear a loose pair of trowsers which they call the foo, and a kind of jacket which they call a sham.

"A fool and a sham," Josiah called 'em all the time. The wimmen have their hair all stuck up with some kind of gum, making it as good as a bunnet, but I would fur ruther have the bunnet. Sometimes they wear a handkerchief over it. Wimmen hain't shut up here as they are in Turkey, but no attention is paid to their education and they are looked down on. Men seem to be willin' to have wimmen enjoy what religion they can, such as they have. But her husband won't let her set to the table with him, and he can whip her to death and not be touched for it, but if she strikes back a single blow he can get a divorce from her.

I thought wimmen wuz worse off here than they wuz in America, but Arvilly argyed that our govermunt sold stuff and took pay for it that made men beat their wives, and sold the right to make wicked wimmen and keep 'em so, and took wimmen's tax money to keep up such laws. And she went over such a lot of unjust laws that I didn't know but she wuz right, and that we wuz jest about as bad off in some things. They marry dretful young in China. Little babies are engaged to be married right whilst they're teethin', but they can't marry I guess till they are ten or twelve years old.

From Canton we went back to Hongkong, intendin' to go from there to Calcutta. But Dorothy felt that she must see Japan while she wuz so near, and we concluded to go, though it wuz goin' right out of our way in the opposite direction from Jonesville. But when Dorothy expressed a wish Robert Strong seemed to think it wuz jest as bindin' on him as the law of the Medes and Persians, whatever they may be, and Miss Meechim felt so too, so though as I say it wuz some as though I should go to she that wuz Submit Tewksberrys round by the widder Slimpsey's and Brother Henzy's. We found some mail here to the tarven, letters from the dear children and our help. Thomas J. and Maggie wuz gittin' better, and the rest well, and all follerin' our journey with fond hearts and good wishes. Philury and Ury writ that everything was goin' well on the farm and the Jonesvillians enjoyin' good health. Arvilly got a paper from Jonesville and come in to read it to us. It had been a long time on the road. It said that a new bill was a-goin' to be introduced to allow wimmen to vote, but she didn't seem to be encouraged about it much. Sez she: "The law won't do anything about that as long as it is so busy grantin' licenses to kill folks via Saloon and other houses of death and ruin and canals and trusts and monopolies to protect to steal the people's money."

But I sez, "I do hope the bill will pass for the sake of Justice, if nothin' else. Justice," sez I, "must have been so shamed to see such things goin' on that she wuz glad she wore bandages over her eyes; and her hands have shook so she hain't weighed even for some time; to see her sect taxed without representation, punished and hung by laws she has no voice in makin'."

Josiah sez, "I admit that that is ruther hard, Samantha, but that hain't the nick on't. The pint is that wimmen hain't got the self-control that men has. The govermunt is afraid of her emotional nater; she gits wrought up too quick. She is good as gold, almost a angel, in fact, as we male voters have always said. But she is too hasty; she hain't got the perfect calmness, the firm onmovable sense of right and wrong, the patience and long sufferin' that we men have; she flies off too sudden one way or t'other; govermunt well fears she would be a dangerous element in the body politick."

Jest as Josiah finished this remark Arvilly read out a thrillin' editorial about the war between Russia and Japan; the editor commented on the wickedness of men plungin' two great empires into warfare, slaughterin' thousands and thousands of men, bringin' ontold wretchedness, distress, pestilence and destitution just to gratify ambition or angry passion. For it wuz this, he said, in the first place, whatever it became afterward.

A war of defence, of course, argued an aggressor, and he talked eloquent about Courts of Arbitration which would do away with the wholesale butchery and horror of war. And he called eloquent on Peace to fly down on her white wings bearing the olive branch, to come and stop this unutterable woe and crime of war.

(Arvilly left off readin' to remind Josiah that Peace wuz always depictered as a female, and then resoomed her readin'.)

In conclusion, the editor lamented the fact that in the annals of our nation men so often forgot the Golden Rule and gin vent to voylent passions and onbecomin' behavior.

Sez Josiah, "I guess I will take Tommy and go out for a little walk, Samantha, I feel kinder mauger."

"I should think you would!" sez Arvilly, lookin' hull reams of by-laws and statutes at him.

And I sez, "Whilst you're walkin', dear Josiah, you might meditate on the danger to the govermunt from wimmen's emotional nature, and the patience and long sufferin' of men voters." I said it real tender and good, but he snapped me up real snappish.

Sez he, "I shall meditate on what I'm a minter. Come, Tommy," and they went out.



CHAPTER XVII

And the next day we started for Yokohama. I had felt kinder dubersome about goin' through countries that wuz plunged in a great war, but we got along all right, nobody shot at us or made any move to, and we didn't see anybody hurt. But knowed that the warfare wuz ragin' away somewhere out of our sight.

Death wuz marchin' along on his pale horse in front of the army, and hearts wuz breakin' and the light of the sun and of life darkened in thousands and thousands of grand and humble homes.

I felt dretful when I thought on't, but hain't goin' to harrow up the reader's feelin's talkin' about it, knowin' it won't do any good, and anyway they've all read the particulars in the daily papers.

Well, we reached Yokohama with no fatal casualties to report, though my pardner wuz real seasick, but brightened up as we drew nigh to shore. Here and there a little village with quaint houses could be seen, and anon a temple or shrine riz up above the beautiful tropical foliage and further off the Fujiyama, the sacred mountain, riz up above the other mountains.

We come into the harbor about half-past three and arrove at our tarven about five. When we drew nigh the shore almost naked boatmen come out to meet us in their sampans, as they call their little boats (Josiah called 'em "sass pans" right to their face, but I don't spoze they understood it). They wuz to take us into the shore and they wuz yellin' to each other fearful as they pushed their boats ahead. Their toilettes consisted mostly of figgers pricked into their skins, dragons and snakes seemed their favorite skin ornaments, the color wuz blue mostly with some red. Josiah sez to me as we looked down on 'em from the dock:

"Them coolers wouldn't have to carry a Saratoga trunk with 'em when they travel; a bottle of ink and a pin would last 'em through life." It wuz a real hot day, and Josiah continered, "Well, their clothin' is comfortable anyway, that's why they are called coolers, because they're dressed so cool," and, sez he, "what a excitement I could make in Jonesville next summer in dog-days by introducin' this fashion."

I looked on him in horrow, and he added hastily, "Oh, I should wear a short tunic, Samantha, comin' down most to my knees, with tossels on it, and I shouldn't wear snakes or dragons on my skin, I should wear some texts of Scripter, or appropriate quotations, as Josiah the fair, or Josiah the pride of Jonesville, runnin' down my legs and arms, and I shouldn't have 'em pricked in, I could have 'em painted in gay colors."

"Oh, heavens!" sez I, lookin' up to the sky, "what won't I hear next from this man!"

"I hadn't said I should do it, Samantha; and 'tennyrate it would be only through dog-days. I said what a excitement it would make if I concluded to do it."

Sez I, "It is a excitement that would land you in Jonesville jail, and ort to."

But at that minute Arvilly and Miss Meechim come up to us and broke off the conversation. Japan boatmen jest wear a cloth round their loins, and some of 'em had a little square of matting fastened by a rope round their necks to keep the rain offen their backs.

After goin' through the custom house, where we got off easy, we went to a tarven called the Grand Hotel and had a good night's rest.



CHAPTER XVIII

The next mornin', after tiffen, which wuz what they call breakfast, bein' just so ignorant of good Jonesville language, Josiah and I and Tommy sallied out to see what we could see, the rest of our party havin' gone out before.

Wantin' to go a considerable ways, we hired two jinrikishas, and I took Tommy in my lap, and I must say that I felt considerable like a baby in a baby carriage carryin' a doll; but I got over it and felt like a grandma before I had gone fur. How Josiah felt I don't know, though I hearn him disputin' with the man about his prices—we had took a interpreter with us so we could know what wuz said to us. The price for a jinrikisha is five sen, and Josiah thought it meant five cents of our money, and so handed it to him. But the man wuz so ignorant he didn't know anything about Jonesville money, and he kep' a-callin' for sen, and the interpreter sez "Sen," holdin' up his five fingers and speakin' it up loud, and I hearn Josiah say:

"Well, you fool, you, I have given you five cents! What more do you want?" But at last he wuz made to understand; but when Josiah made him know where he wanted to go the interpreter said that the sedan carriers wanted a yen, and my poor pardner had another struggle. Sez he:

"You consarned fool, how do you spoze I can give you a hen? Do you spoze I can git into my hen house ten thousand milds off to git you a hen? Or do you want me to steal one for you?"

"A yen," sez the interpreter, and the way he said it it did sound like hen.

"Well, I said hen, didn't I?" said my pardner.

But I leaned out of my baby cart and sez, "Y-e-n, Josiah. A yen is their money, a dollar."

"Oh, why don't they call it a cow or a brindle calf?" He wuz all het up by his efforts to understand. They call one of their dollars a yen, a sen is a cent, and a rin is the tenth part of a cent. Josiah fell in love with the copper rins with square holes in the centre. Sez he:

"How I would love to furnish you with 'em, Samantha, when you went to the store in Jonesville. I would hand you out five or six rins and you could string 'em and wear 'em round your neck till you got to the store."

"Yes," sez I, "half a cent would go a good ways in buyin' family stores."

"Well, it would have a rich look, Samantha, and I mean to make some when I git home. Why, Ury and I could make hundreds of 'em out of our old copper kettle that has got a hole in it, and I shouldn't wonder if I could pass 'em."

Miss Meechim had a idee that the Japans wuz in a state of barbarism, but Arvilly who wuz always at swords' pints with her threw such a lot of statistics at her that it fairly danted her. There are six hundred newspapers in Japan. The Japanese daily at Tokio has a circulation of 300,000. She has over 3,000 milds of railroads and uses the American system of checking baggage. Large factories with the best machinery has been built late years, but a great part of the manufacturing is done by the people in their own homes, where they turn out those exquisite fabrics of silk and cotton and rugs of all the colors of the rainbow, and seemingly as fadeless as that bow. Slavery is unknown, and there is very little poverty with all the crowded population. The Japans are our nearest neighbors acrost the Pacific and we've been pretty neighborly with 'em, havin' bought from 'em within the last ten years most three hundred millions worth of goods. She would miss us if anything should happen to us.

Yokohama is a city of 124,000 inhabitants, most all Japans, though in what they call the settlement there are fifteen or twenty thousand foreigners. There are beautiful homes here with flower gardens containing the rarest and most beautiful flowers, trees and shrubs of all kinds.

The day Josiah had his struggle with the interpreter and Japan money we rode down the principal streets of Yokohama. And I would stop at some of the silk shops, though Josiah objected and leaned out of his jinrikisha and sez anxiously:

"Don't spend more'n half a dozen rins, Samantha, on dress, for you know we've got more than 10,000 milds to travel and the tarven bills are high."

Sez I in real dry axents, "If I conclude to buy a dress I shall have to have as much as a dozen rins; I don't believe that I could git a handsome and durable one for less." My tone was sarcastical. The idee of buyin' a silk dress for half a cent! But I didn't lay out to buy; I wuz jest lookin' round.

I saw in those shops some of the most beautiful silks and embroideries that I ever did see, and I went into a lacquer shop where there wuz the most elegant furniture and rich bronzes inlaid with gold and silver. They make the finest bronzes in the world; a little pair of vases wuz fifteen hundred dollars and you couldn't get 'em for less. But why shouldn't there be beautiful things in a country where every one is a artist?

We stopped at a tea house and had a cup of tea, delicious as I never spozed tea could be and served by pretty young girls with gay colored, loose silk suits and hair elaborately dressed up with chains and ornaments; their feet and legs wuz bare, but they wuz covered with ornaments of brass and jade. Afterwards we passed fields of rice where men and wimmen wuz working, the men enrobed in their skin toilette of dragons and other figures and loin cloth and the wimmen in little scanty skirts comin' from the waist to the knees. Their wages are eight cents a day. I wondered what some of our haughty kitchen rulers, who demand a dollar a day and the richest of viands would say if they wuz put down on a basis of eight cents a day and water and rice diet.

The little bamboo cottages are lovely lookin' from the outside with their thatched roofs, some on 'em with little bushes growin' out on the thatch and little bunches of grass growin' out under the eaves. The children of the poor are entirely naked and don't have a rag on 'em until they're ten or twelve. A lot of 'em come up to the jinrikishas and called out "oh-hi-o" to Josiah, and he shook his head and sez affably:

"No, bub, I'm from Jonesville."

But the interpreter explained oh-hi-o means good mornin'; and after that for days Josiah would say to me as soon as I waked up, "Ohio," and wanted to say it to the rest, but I broke it up.

One thing Josiah thought wuz wicked: a Japanese is not allowed to wear whiskers till he is a grandpa, so old bachelors have to go with smooth faces.

Sez Josiah, "What if Cousin Zebedee Allen couldn't wear whiskers? Why," sez he, "his whiskers are his main beauty, and naterally Zeb is more particular about his looks than if he wuz married. Such laws are wicked and arbitrary. Why, when I courted my first wife, Samantha, my whiskers and my dressy looks wuz what won the day. And I d'no," sez he inquiringly, "but they won your heart."

"No," sez I, "it wuzn't them, and heaven only knows what it wuz; I never could tell. I've wondered about it a sight."

"Well," sez he, "I didn't know but it wuz my whiskers."

We passed a number of temples where the people worship. The two principal religions are the Shinto and the Buddhist. The Shinto means, "The way of the gods," and they believe that their representative is the Mikado, so of course they lay out to worship him. The Buddhists preach renunciation, morality, duty, and right living. Bein' such a case to cling to Duty's apron strings I couldn't feel towards the Buddhists as Miss Meechim did. Sez she, "Oh, why can't they believe as we do in America? Why can't they all be Episcopalians?"

But 'tennyrate all religions are tolerated here, and as Arvilly told Miss Meechim when she wuz bewailin' the fact that they wuzn't all Episcopals and wuzn't more like our country.

Sez Arvilly, "They don't drownd what they call witches, nor hang Quakers, nor whip Baptists, nor have twenty wives. It don't do for us to find too much fault with the religion of other nations, Miss Meechim, specially them that teaches the highest morality, self-control and self-sacrifice."

Miss Meechim was huffy, but Arvilly drove the arrer home. "Gamblin' is prohibted here; you wouldn't be allowed gamble for bed-quilts and afghans at church socials, Miss Meechim."

Miss Meechim wouldn't say a word. I see she wuz awful huffy. But howsumever there are lots of people here who believe in the Christian religion.

We passed such cunning little farms; two acres is called a good farm, and everything seemed to be growin' on it in little squares, kep' neat and clean, little squares of rice and wheat and vegetables.

And Josiah sez, "I wonder what Ury would say if I should set him to transplantin' a hull field of wheat, spear by spear, as they do here, set 'em out in rows as we do onions. And I guess he'd kick if I should hitch him onto the plow to plow up a medder, or onto the mower or reaper. I guess I'd git enough of it. I guess he'd give me my come-up-ance."

"Not if he wuz so polite as the Japans," sez I.

"And what a excitement it would make in Jonesville," sez Josiah, "if I should hitch Ury and Philury onto the mowin' machine. I might," he continered dreamily, "just for a change, drive 'em into Jonesville once on the lumber wagon."

But he'll forgit it, I guess, and Japan will forgit it too before long. Their tools are poor and fur behind ourn, and some of their ways are queer; such as trainin' their fruit trees over arbors as we do vines. Josiah wuz dretful took with this and vowed he'd train our old sick no further over a arbor. Sez he, "If I can train that old tree into a runnin' vine I shall be the rage in Jonesville."

But he can't do it. The branches are as thick as his arm. And I sez, "Children and trees have to be tackled young, Josiah, to bend their wills the way you want 'em to go." They make a great fuss here over the chrysantheum, and they are beautiful, I must admit. They don't look much like mine that I have growin' in a kag in the east winder.

Their common fruits are the persimmons, a sweet fruit about as big as a tomato and lookin' some like it, with flat black seeds, pears, good figs, oranges, peaches, apples. There is very little poverty, and the poorest people are very clean and neat. Their law courts don't dally for month after month and years. If a man murders they hang him the same week.

But mebby our ways of lingerin' along would be better in some cases, if new evidence should be found within a year or so, or children should grow up into witnesses.

We went into a Japanese house one day. It is made on a bamboo frame, the roof and sides wuz thatched with rye straw, the winders wuz slidin' frames divided into little squares covered with thin white paper. The partitions wuz covered with paper, and movable, so you could if you wanted to make your house into one large room. Josiah told me that he should tear out every partition in our house and fix 'em like this. "How handy it would be, Samantha, if I ever wanted to preach."

And I told him that I guessed our settin' room would hold all that would come to hear him preach, and sez I, "How would paper walls do with the thermometer forty below zero?" He looked frustrated, he had never thought of that.

The house we went into wuz sixteen feet square, divided into four square rooms. It wuz two stories high, and little porches about two feet wide wuz on each story, front and back. There wuz no chimney; there wuz a open place in the wall of the kitchen to let the smoke out from the little charcoal furnace they used to cook with, and one kettle wuz used to cook rice and fish; no spoons or forks are needed. The doors and frame-work wuz painted bronze color. There wuzn't much furniture besides the furnace and tea-kettle that stands handy to make tea at any time. A few cups and saucers, a small clock, a family idol, and a red cushioned platform they could move, high and wide enough for a seat so several can set back to back, is about all that is necessary.

Their floors are covered with a lined straw matting, soft as carpet; they sleep on cotton mats put away in the daytime; their head-rest is a small block of wood about one foot long, five inches wide and eight inches high. A pillow filled with cut rye straw and covered with several sheets of rice paper isn't so bad, though I should prefer my good goose feather pillows. The Japanese are exceedingly neat and clean; they could teach needed lessons to the poorer classes in America.

We one day made an excursion twenty milds on the Tokiado, the great highway of Japan. It is broad and smooth; five hundred miles long, and follers the coast. Part of the way we went with horses, and little side trips into the country wuz made with jinrikishas. Quaint little villages wuz on each side of the road, and many shrines on the waysides. That day we see the famous temple of Diabutsu with its colossal bronze idol. It wuz fifty feet high and eighty-seven feet round. The eyes three feet and a half wide. One thumb is three and a half feet round. He seemed to be settin' on his feet.

A widder and a priest wuz kneelin' in front of this idol. The priest held in one hand a rope and anon he would jerk out melancholy sounds from a big bronze bell over his head. In his other hand he held some little pieces of wood and paper with prayers printed on 'em. As he would read 'em off he would lay one down on the floor, and the widder would give him some money every time. I thought that wuz jest about where the prayers went, down on the floor; they never riz higher, I don't believe.

Josiah wuz kinder took with 'em, and sez he, "How handy that would be, Samantha, if a man wuz diffident, and every man, no matter how bashful he is, has more or less wood chips in his back yard. Sometimes I feel diffident, Samantha."

But I sez, "I don't want any wooden prayers offered for me, Josiah Allen, and," sez I, "that seen shows jest how widders are imposed upon."

"Well," sez he, "she no need to dickered with the priest for 'em if she hadn't wanted to."

And I did wish that that little widder had known about the One ever present, ever living God, who has promised to comfort the widder, be a father to the orphan, and wipe away all tears.

But the Sunrise Land is waking up, there is a bright light in the East:

In the beauty of the lilies Christ is born acrost the sea, With a glory in his bosom that transfigures you and me.

With the sweet gentleness and amiable nater of the Japans what will not the divine religion of the Lord Jesus do for them? It will be plantin' seed in good ground that will spring up a hundredfold.

I spoze that it wuz on Robert Strong's account (he is acquainted with so many big Chinamen and Japans) that we wuz invited to a elegant tiffen in one of the Mikado's palaces at Tokio. The grounds wuz beautiful, the garden containing some of the most beautiful specimens of trees, trained into all shapes, some on 'em hundreds of years old, but havin' their faculties yet, and growin' jest as they wuz told to, and all the beautiful flowers and shrubs that Japan can boast of, and palm trees, bananas, giant ferns and everything else beautiful in the way of vegetation.

The palace is one of the oldest in Tokio. It wuz only one story high, but the rooms wuz beautiful. The fan chamber wuz fifty feet square, the walls covered with fans of every size and shape and color. The only furniture in this room wuz two magnificent cabinets of lacquer work and four great, gorgeous bronze vases.

The tiffen wuz gin by a high official; there wuz fifty guests. The hour was two in the afternoon. There wuz ten ladies present—two beautiful Japanese ladies, dressed in the rich toilette of Japan. The lunch cards wuz little squares of scarlet paper, with black Japanese writing. Josiah looked at the card intently and then whispered to me:

"How be I goin' to know what I am eatin' from these duck tracks?"

But I whispered, "Le's do what the rest do, Josiah, and we'll come out all right."

But we had a dretful scare, for right whilst we wuz partakin' of the choice Japan viands a loud rumblin' sound wuz hearn, and I see even as we rushed to the door the timbers of the ceilin' part and then come together agin and the great bronze chandelier swing back and forth. My pardner ketched hold of my hand and hurried me along on a swift run and wouldn't stop runnin' for some time. I tried to stop him, for I got out of breath, but he wuz bound to run right back to Yokohama, thirty miles off. But I convinced him that we would be no safer there, for you can't argy with earthquake shocks and tell when they're comin', they are very common in all parts of Japan. After the first heavy shock there wuz two lighter ones, and that ended it for that time. But though we all went back to the table, I can't say that I took any great comfort in the tiffen after that.

A blow has fell onto me I wuzn't prepared for. We found a number of letters waitin' for us here at the tarven that Robert Strong had ordered to be forwarded there. It seemed so good, whilst settin' under a palm tree, seein' jinrikishas go by, and Chinas and Japans, to set and read about the dear ones in Jonesville, and the old mair and Snip.

The letters wuz full of affection and cheer, and after readin' 'em I gathered 'em up and sought my pardner to exchange letters with him, as I wuz wont to do, and I see he had quite a few, but what was my surprise to see that man sarahuptishushly and with a guilty look try to conceal one on 'em under his bandanna. And any woman will know that all his other letters wuz as dross to me compared to the one he was hidin'. I will pass over my argyments—and—and words, before that letter lay in my hand. But suffice it to say, that when at last I read it and all wuz explained to me, groans and sithes riz from my burdened heart deeper and despairener than any I had gin vent to in years and years.

And I may as well tell the hull story now, as I spoze my readers are most as anxious about it as I wuz. Oh, Josiah! How could you done it? How I do hate to tell it! Must I tell the shameful facts? Oh, Duty! lower thy strongest apron strings and let me cling and tell and weep. And there it had been goin' on for months and I not mistrustin' it. But Duty, I will hold hard onto thy strings and tell the shameful tale.

Josiah owned a old dwellin' house in the environs of Jonesville, right acrost from Cap'n Bardeen's, who rented it of him to store things in. The town line runs right under the house, so the sink is in Zoar, and the cupboard always had stood in Jonesville. But owin' to Ernest White's labors and prayers and votes, his and all other good ministers and earnest helpers, Jonesville went no-license now jest as Loontown did last year.

And jest as Satan always duz if he gits holt of souls that he can't buy or skair, he will try to cheat 'em, he is so suttle. It seems that after we got away that Cap'n Bardeen moved that cupboard over to the other side of the room into Zoar and went to sellin' whiskey out on't. Awful doin's! The minute I read the letter I sez:

"Josiah Allen, do you write this very minute and stop this wicked, wicked works!" Sez I: "No knowin' how many Jonesvillians will feel their religion a-wobblin' and tottlin' just by your example; naterally they would look up to a deacon and emulate his example—do you stop it to once!"

"No, Samantha," sez he, "Cap'n Bardeen and his father owns more cows than any other Jonesvillians. If I want to be salesman agin in the Jonesville factory I mustn't make 'em mad, and they pay a dretful high rent."

"I wouldn't call it rent," sez I, "I'd call it blood-money. I'd run a pirate flag up on the ruff with these words on it, 'Josiah Allen, Deacon.'"

He wuz agitated and sez, "Oh, no, Samantha; I wouldn't do that for the world, I am so well thought on in the M. E. meetin' house."

"Well, you won't be well thought on if you do such a thing as this!" sez I. "Jest think how Ernest White, that good devoted minister, has labored and prayed for the good of souls and bodies, and you tryin' your best to overthrow it all. How could you do it, Josiah?"

"Well, I may as well tell you, Samantha, I writ to Ury and kinder left it to him. He knows my ambitions and my biziness. He knows how handy money is, and he fixed it all straight and right."

"Ury!" sez I, "why should you leave it to Ury? Does he keep your conscience and clean it off when it gits black and nasty by such doin's as this?"

"No, Samantha, I've got my conscience all right. I brought it with me on my tower."

"Why should you leave it to Ury? He's your hired man, he would do as you told him to," sez I. "For a Methodist deacon such acts are demeanin' and disgustin' for a pardner and Jonesville to witness, let alone the country." And agin I sez, "You can stop it in a minute if you want to, and you know right from wrong, you know enough to say yes or no without bringin' Ury into the scrape; Ury! spozein' you git him into it, I can tell you he won't bear the brunt of it before the bar of this country or that bar up above. You'll have to carry the responsibility of all the evil it duz, and it will be a lastin' disgrace to you and the hull Methodist meetin-house if you let it go on."

Agin he sez, "Ury fixed it all right."

"How did Ury fix it?" sez I, in the cold axents of woman's skorn and curiosity.

"Well, Ury said, make Bardeen stop sellin' whiskey out of the cupboard, make him sell it out of the chist. There is a big chist there that Bardeen bought to keep grain in, sez Ury; let Bardeen move that cupboard acrost the room back into Jonesville, set the chist up on the sink in Zoar and sell it out of that. Ury said that in his opinion that would make it all right, so that a perfessor and a Methodist deacon could do it with a clear conscience."

Sez I, "Do you write to once, Josiah Allen, and tell Bardeen to either stop such works, or move right out."

"Well," sez he blandly, real bland and polite, "I will consider it, Samantha, I will give it my consideration."

"No, no, Josiah Allen, you know right from wrong, truth from falsehood, honesty from dishonesty, you don't want to consider."

"Yes, I do, Samantha; it is so genteel when a moral question comes up to wait and consider; it is very fashionable."

"How long do you lay out to wait, Josiah Allen?" sez I, coldly.

"Oh, it is fashionable to not give a answer till you're obleeged to, but I will consult agin with Ury and probable along by Fall I can give you my ultimatum."

"And whilst you are a considerin' Bardeen will go on a sellin' pizen to destroy all the good that Ernest White, that devoted minister of Christ, and all the good men and wimmen helpers have done and are a doin'."

"Well," sez Josiah, "I may as well tell you, you would probably hear on't, Ernest White writ me some time ago, and sent me a long petition signed by most all the ministers and leadin' men and wimmen, beggin' me to stop Bardeen."

"Well, what did you tell him, Josiah Allen?"

"I told him, Samantha, I would consider it."

"And," sez I, "have you been all this time, months and months, a considerin'?"

"Yes, mom," sez he, in a polite, genteel tone, "I have."

"Well, do you stop considerin' to once, Josiah Allen."

"No, Samantha, a pardner can do a good deal, but she can't break up a man's considerin'. It is very genteel and fashionable, and I shall keep it up."

I groaned aloud; the more I thought on't, the worse I felt. Sez I, "To think of all the evils that are a flowin' out of that place, Josiah, and you could stop it to once if you wuz a minter."

"But," sez Josiah, "Ury sez that if it wuzn't sold there by Cap'n Bardeen the factory folks would go over into Zoar and git worse likker sold by low down critters."

Sez I, "You might as well say if Christians don't steal and murder, it will be done by them of poor moral character. That is one strong weepon to kill the evil—confine the bizness to the low and vile and show the world that you, a Methodist and a deacon, put the bizness right where it belongs, with murder and all wickedness, not as you are sayin' now by your example, it is right and I will protect it."

"Well," sez Josiah, as sot as a old hen settin' on a brick bat, "it is law; Ury has settled it."

My heart ached so that it seemed to clear my head. "We'll see," sez I, "if it can't be changed. I'll know before a week has gone over my head." And I got up and dragged out the hair trunk, sithin' so deep that it wuz dretful to hear, some like the melancholy winter winds howlin' round a Jonesville chimbly.

"What are you a goin' to do, Samantha?" sez Josiah anxiously.

"I am goin' back home," sez I, "to-morrer to see about that law."

"Alone?" sez he.

"Yes, alone," sez I, "alone."

"Never!" sez Josiah. "Never will I let my idol go from Japan to Jonesville unprotected. If you must go and make a town's talk from China to Jonesville I'll stand by you." And he took down his hat and ombrell.

"What would you do if you went back?" sez I. "I should think you had done enough as it is; I shall go alone."

"What! you go and leave all the pleasures of this trip and go alone? Part from your pardner for months and months?"

"Yes," sez I wildly, "and mebby forever. It don't seem to me that I can ever live with a man that is doin' what you are." And hot tears dribbled down onto my sheep's-head night-caps.

"Oh, Samantha!" sez he, takin' out his bandanna and weepin' in consort, "what is money or ambition compared to the idol of my heart? I'll write to Ury to change the law agin."

"Dear Josiah!" sez I, "I knew, I knew you couldn't be so wicked as to continue what you had begun. But can you do it?" sez I.

Sez he cheerfully, as he see me take out a sheep's-head night-cap and shet down the trunk led, "What man has done, man can do. If Ury can fix a law once, he can fix it twice. And he done it for me." Sez he, "I can repeal it if I am a minter, and when I am a minter." And he got up and took a sheet of paper and begun to write to repeal that law. I gently leggo the apron-string dear Duty had lowered to me; it had held; pure Principle had conquered agin. Oh, the relief and sweetness of that hour! Sweet is the pink blush of roses after the cold snows of winter; sweet is rest after a weary pilgrimage.

Calm and beautiful is the warm ambient air of repose and affection after a matrimonial blizzard. Josiah wuz better to me than he had been for over seven weeks, and his lovin' demeanor didn't change for the worse for as many as five days. But the wicked wrong wuz done away with.

I writ a letter to Ernest White tellin' him I never knowed a word about it till that very day, and my companion had repealed the law, and Cap'n Bardeen had got to move out or stop sellin' whiskey. He knows how I worship Josiah; he didn't expect that I would come out openly and blame him; no, the bare facts wuz enough.

I ended up the letter with a post scriptum remark. Sez I: "Waitstill Webb is sweeter lookin' than ever and as good as pure gold, jest as she always wuz, but the climate is wearin' on her, and I believe she will be back in Jonesville as soon as we are, if not before. She is a lovely girl and would make a Christian minister's home in Loontown or any other town a blessed and happy place."

I thought I wouldn't dast to do anything more than to give such a little blind hint. But to resoom. Folks seem to have a wrong idee about the education of the Japanese. There are twenty-eight thousand schools in Japan, besides the private and public kindergartens. There are over three million native students out of a school population of seven million. There are sixty-nine thousand teachers, all Japanese, excepting about two hundred and fifty American, German and English. Nearly ten million dollars (Japanese) is raised annually for educational purposes from school fees, taxes, interest on funds, etc. They have compulsory school laws just like ours. And not a drunken native did we see whilst in Japan, and I wish that I could say the same of New York for the same length of time or Chicago or Jonesville.

And for gentle, polite, amiable manners they go as fur ahead of Americans as the leaves of their trees duz, and I've seen leaves there more'n ten feet long. The empire of Japan consists of three thousand eight hundred islands, from one eight hundred milds long to them no bigger than a tin pan, and the population is about forty-three million. I don't spoze any nation on earth ever made faster progress than Japan has in the last thirty years: railways, telegraph postal system. It seems as if all Japan wanted wuz to find out the best way of doin' things, and then she goes right ahead and duz 'em.

Robert Strong wuz talking about what the word Japan meant, the Sunrise Land. And he said some real pretty things about it and so did Dorothy. They wuz dretful took with the country. Robert Strong has travelled everywhere and he told me that some portions of Japan wuz more beautiful than any country he had ever seen. We took several short journeys into the interior to see the home life of the people, but Robert Strong, who seemed to be by the consent of all of us the head of our expedition, thought that we had better not linger very long there as there wuz so many other countries that we wanted to visit, but 'tennyrate we decided to start for Calcutta from Hongkong, stopping on the way at Shanghai.



CHAPTER XIX

We wuz a goin' to stop for a day or two at Shanghai and I wuz real glad on't, for I felt that I must see the Empress, Si Ann, without any more delay, and I hearn she wuz there visitin' some of her folks.

Yes, I felt the widder Hien Fong ort to hear what I had to say to her with no further delay, I felt it wuz a duty that I owed toward the nation and Josiah.

The voyage from Yokohama to Shanghai is very interesting, a part of it is through the inland sea, mountains and valleys on both sides, many islands and large and small towns all along the shores. Our hull party kep' well and all enjoyed all the strange picturesque scenery, most as new to us as if we wuz on another planet. Yes, I d'no as Jupiter would look any stranger to us than the country did, or Mars or Saturn.

We wuz over a day crossin' the Yaller Sea, well named, for its water is as yaller as the sands on its shores. I'd hate to wash white clothes in it. And as we drew near Shanghai it wuz all alive with Chinese junks full of men, wimmen and children. The children here on these boats seem to be tied up with ropes, givin' 'em room to crawl round, same as I have tied up Jonesville hens that wanted to set.

Shanghai means, "approaching the sea," and I spoze it might just as well mean approaching from the sea, as we did. Old Shanghai is surrounded by a wall and moat and is entered by six gates, the roads are only ten feet wide and dirty and bad smellin', and most of its houses are small, though there are a few very fine buildings, according to their style, lots of little piazzas jutting out everywhere with the ends turned up, that seems to be their taste; why a ruff or a piazza straight acrost would have been a boon to my Jonesville trained eyes. The houses on the principal streets are used for shops; no winders on the first floor; they are all open in front during the day and closed by heavy latticework at night.

The favorite carriage here is a wheelbarrow, the wheel in the centre and a seat on each side. Josiah and I got into one, he carryin' Tommy in his lap, but he sez with a groan:

"I never spozed that I should git down to this, Samantha, to ride in a wheelbarrow. What would Ury say! I am glad he can't see it, or Deacon Henzy or any of the other Jonesville brothers and sistern."

The furrin suburbs are laid out like a European city, with broad streets, well lighted and clean. We went on the Bubbling Well Road, named from a boiling spring a few miles out. The road is broad and smooth as glass with beautiful villas along the way; we also passed a great number of small burying places. They have to bury folks according to the rules of Feng Shui. If Feng Shui should order a burial place in a dooryard it would have to be there. It rules buildings, customs, laws, everything. I asked a Chinaman who could talk English what this Feng Shui wuz that they had to obey it so strictly, and he described it as being like the wind and water: like wind because you don't know where it come from nor when it would go or where; and like water because you could never know how to grasp it, it would elude you and slip away and you would have nothing in your hand to show. Miss Meechim cried out about the enormity of such a law and laid it to the evil doin's of furriners, but Arvilly said that it wuz some like the laws we had in America, for we found out on inquiry that money would most always appease this great Feng Shui and git it to consent to most anything if it wuz paid enough, just as it did in America.

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