III. 5.

Scene 5.

ENTER Megadorus.

Mega.

Narravi amicis multis consilium meum de condicione hac. Euclionis filiam laudant. sapienter factum et consilio bono.

(not seeing Euclio) Well, I've told a number of friends of my intentions regarding this match. They were full of praise for Euclio's daughter. Say it's the sensible thing to do, a fine idea.

nam meo quidem animo si idem faciant ceteri opulentiores, pauperiorum filias ut indotatas ducant uxores domum, 480 et multo fiat civitas concordior, et invidia nos minore utamur quam utimur, et illae malam rem metuant quam metuont magis, et nos minore sumptu simus quam sumus.

Yes, for my part I'm convinced that if the rest of our well-to-do citizens would follow my example and marry poor men's daughters and let the dowries go, there would be a great deal more unity in our city, and people would be less bitter against us men of means than they are, and our wives would stand in greater awe of marital authority than they do, and the cost of living would be lower for us than it is.

in maximam illuc populi partem est optimum; in pauciores avidos altercatio est, quorum animis avidis atque insatietatibus neque lex neque sutor capere est qui possit modum. namque hoc qui dicat "quo illae nubent divites dotatae, si istud ius pauperibus ponitur?" 490

It's just the thing for the vast majority of the people; the fight comes with a handful of greedy fellows so stingy and grasping that neither law nor cobbler can take their measure. And now supposing some one should ask: "Who are the rich girls with dowries going to marry, if you make this rule for the poor ones?"

quo lubeant, nubant, dum dos ne fiat comes. hoc si ita fiat, mores meliores sibi parent, pro dote quos ferant, quam nunc ferunt, ego faxim muli, pretio qui superant equos, sint viliores Gallicis cantheriis.

Why, anyone they please, let 'em marry, provided their dowry doesn't go along with 'em. In that case, instead of bringing their husbands money, they'd bring them better behaved wives than they do at present. Those mules of theirs that cost more than horses do now—they'd be cheaper than Gallic geldings by the time I got through.

Eucl.

Ita me di amabunt ut ego hunc ausculto lubens. nimis lepide fecit verba ad parsimoniam.

(aside) God bless my soul, how I do love to hear him talk! Those thoughts of his about economizing—beautiful, beautiful!

Mega.

Nulla igitur dicat "equidem dotem ad te adtuli maiorem multo quam tibi erat pecunia; enim mihi quidem aequomst purpuram atque aurum dari, 500 ancillas, mulos, muliones, pedisequos, salutigerulos pueros, vehicla qui vehar."

Then you wouldn't hear them saying: "Well, sir, you never had anything like the money I brought you, and you know it. Fine clothes and jewellery, indeed! And maids and mules and coachmen and footmen and pages and private carriages—well, if I haven't a right to them!"

Eucl.

Ut matronarum hic facta pernovit probe. moribus praefectum mulierum hunc factum velim.

(aside) Ah, he knows 'em, knows 'em through and through, these society dames! Oh, if he could only be appointed supervisor of public morals—the women's!

Mega.

Nunc quoquo venias plus plaustrorum in aedibus videas quam ruri, quando ad villam veneris. sed hoc etiam pulchrum est praequam ubi sumptus petunt.

Wherever you go nowadays you see more wagons in front of a city mansion than you can find around a farmyard. That's a perfectly glorious sight, though, compared with the time when the tradesmen come for their money.

stat fullo, phyrgio, aurifex, lanarius; caupones patagiarii, indusiarii, flammarii, volarii, carinarii; 510 stant manulearii, stant[10] murobatharii, propolae linteones, calceolarii; sedentarii sutores diabathrarii, solearii astant, astant molocinarii;[11] (514) strophiarii astant, astant semul sonarii. (516)

The cleanser, the ladies' tailor, the jeweller, the woollen worker—they're all hanging round. And there are the dealers in flounces and underclothes and bridal veils, in violet dyes and yellow dyes, or muffs, or balsam scented foot-gear; and then the lingerie people drop in on you, along with shoemakers and squatting cobblers and slipper and sandal merchants and dealers in mallow dyes; and the belt makers flock around, and the girdle makers along with 'em.

iam hosce absolutes censeas: cedunt, petunt treceni, cum stant thylacistae in atriis textores limbularii, arcularii. ducuntur, datur aes. iam absolutos censeas, 520 cum incedunt infectores corcotarii, aut aliqua mala crux semper est, quae aliquid petat.

And now you may think you've got them all paid off. Then up come weavers and lace men and cabinet-makers—hundreds of 'em—who plant themselves like jailers in your halls and want you to settle up. You bring 'em in and square accounts. "All paid off now, anyway," you may be thinking, when in march the fellows who do the saffron dyeing—some damned pest or other, anyhow, eternally after something.

Eucl.

Compellarem ego illum, ni metuam ne desinat memorare mores mulierum: nunc sic sinam.

(aside) I'd hail him, only I'm afraid he'd stop talking about how the women go on. No, no, I'll let him be.

Mega.

Ubi nugivendis res soluta est omnibus, ibi ad postremum cedit miles, aes petit. itur, putatur ratio cum argentario, miles inpransus astat, aes censet dari. ubi disputata est ratio cum argentario, etiam ipsus ultro debet argentario. 530 spes prorogatur militi in alium diem.

When you've got all these fellows of fluff and ruffles satisfied, along comes a military man, bringing up the rear, and wants to collect the army tax. You go and have a reckoning with your banker, your military gentleman standing by and missing his lunch in the expectation of getting some cash. After you and the banker have done figuring, you find you owe him money too, and the military man has his hopes postponed till another day.

haec sunt atque aliae multae in magnis dotibus. incommoditates sumptusque intolerabiles nam quae indotata est, ea in potestate est viri; dotatae mactant et malo et damno viros sed eccum adfinem ante aedes. quid agis, Euclio?

These are some of the nuisances and intolerable expenses that big dowries let you in for, and there are plenty more. Now a wife that doesn't bring you a penny—a husband has some control over her; it's the dowered ones that pester the life out of their husbands with the way they cut up and squander. (seeing Euclio) But there's my new relative in front of the house! How are you, Euclio?

III. 6.

Scene 6.

Eucl.

Nimium lubenter edi sermonem tuom.

Gratified, highly gratified with your discourse—I devoured it.

Mega.

An audivisti?

Eh? you heard?

Eucl.

Usque a principio omnia.

Every word of it.

Mega.

Tamen meo quidem animo aliquanto facias rectius, si nitidior sis filiai nuptus. 540

(looking him over) But I say, though, I do think it would be a little more in keeping, if you were to spruce up a bit for your daughter's wedding.

Eucl.

Pro re nitorem et gloriam pro copia qui habent, meminerunt sese unde oriundi sient. neque pol, Megadore, mihi neque quoiquam pauperi opinione melius res structa est domi.

(whining) Folks with the wherewithal and means to let 'em spruce up and look smart remember who they are. My goodness, Megadorus! I haven't got a fortune piled up at home (peers slyly under cloak) any more than people think, and no other poor man has, either.

Mega.

Immo est quod satis est, et di faciant ut siet plus plusque et istuc sospitent quod nunc habes.

(genially) Ah well, you've got enough, and heaven make it more and more, and bless you in what you have now.

Eucl.

Illud mihi verbum non placet "quod nunc habes." tam hoc scit me habere quam egomet. anus fecit palam.

(turning away with a start) "What you have now!" I don't like that phrase! He knows I have this money just as well as I do! The old hag's been blabbing!

Mega.

Quid tu te solus e senatu sevocas?

(pleasantly) Why that secret session over there?

Eucl.

Pol ego ut te accusem merito meditabar.

(taken aback) I was—damme sir,—I was framing the complaint against you that you deserve.

Mega.

Quid est? 550

What for?

Eucl.

Quid sit me rogitas? qui mihi omnis angulos furum implevisti in aedibus misero mihi, qui mi intro misti in aedis quingentos coquos, cum senis manibus, genere Geryonaceo;

What for, eh? When you've filled every corner of my house with thieves, confound it! When you've sent cooks into my house by the hundred and every one of 'em a Geryonian[C] with six hands apiece!

quos si Argus servet qui oculeus totus fuit, quem quondam Ioni Iuno custodem addidit, is numquam servet. praeterea tibicinam, quae mi interbibere sola, si vino scatat, Corinthiensem fontem Pirenam potest. tum obsonium autem—

Why, Argus, who had eyes all over him and was set to guarding Io once by Juno, couldn't ever keep watch on those fellows, not if he tried. And that music girl besides! She could take the fountain of Pirene at Corinth and drink it dry, all by herself, she could,—if it ran wine. Then as for the provisions—

[Footnote C: Geryon was a giant with three heads and bodies.]

Mega.

Pol vel legioni sat est. 560 etiam agnum misi.

Bless my soul! Why, there's enough for a regiment. I sent you a lamb, too.

Eucl.

Quo quidem agno sat scio magis curiosam[12] nusquam esse ullam beluam.

Yes, and a more shearable beast than that same lamb doesn't exist, I know that.

Mega.

Volo ego ex te scire qui sit agnus curio.

I wish you would tell me how the lamb is shearable.

Eucl.

Quia ossa ac pellis totust, ita cura macet. quin exta inspicere in sole ei vivo licet: ita is pellucet quasi lanterna Punica.

Because it's mere skin and bones, wasted away till it's perfectly—(tittering) sheer. Why, why, you put that lamb in the sun and you can watch its inwards work: it's as transparent as a Punic[D] lantern.

[Footnote D: Perhaps of glass, of which the Phoenicians were reputedly the inventors.]

Mega.

Caedundum conduxi ego illum.

(protestingly) I got that lamb in myself to be slaughtered.

Eucl.

Tum tu idem optumumst loces efferendum; nam iam, credo, mortuost.

(dryly) Then you'd best put it out yourself to be buried, for I do believe it's dead already.

Mega.

Potare ego hodie, Euclio, tecum volo.

(laughing and clapping him on the shoulder) Euclio, we must have a little carouse to-day, you and I.

Eucl.

Non potem ego quidem hercle.

(frightened) None for me, sir, none for me! Carouse! Oh my Lord!

Mega.

At ego iussero 570 cadum unum vini veteris a me adferrier.

But see here, I'll just have a cask of good old wine brought over from my cellars.

Eucl.

Nolo hercle, nam mihi bibere decretum est aquam.

No, no! I don't care for any! The fact is I am resolved to drink nothing but water.

Mega.

Ego te hodie reddam madidum, si vivo, probe, tibi cui decretum est bibere aquam.

(digging him in the ribs) I'll get you properly soaked to-day, on my life I will, you with your "resolved to drink nothing but water."

Eucl.

Scio quam rem agat: ut me deponat vino, eam adfectat viam, post hoc quod habeo ut commutet coloniam. ego id cavebo, nam alicubi abstrudam foris. ego faxo et operam et vinum perdiderit simul.

(aside) I see his game! Trying to fuddle me with his wine, that's it, and then give this (looking under cloak) a new domicile! (pauses) I'll take measures against that: yes. I'll secrete it somewhere outside the house. I'll make him throw away his time and wine together.

Mega.

Ego, nisi quid me vis, eo lavatum, ut sacruficem.

(turning to go) Well, unless I can do something for you, I'll go take a bath and get ready to offer sacrifice. [EXIT INTO HOUSE.

Eucl.

Edepol, ne tu, aula, multos inimicos habes 580 atque istuc aurum quod tibi concreditum est. nunc hoc mihi factu est optumum, ut ted auferam, aula, in Fidei fanum: ibi abstrudam probe. Fides, novisti me et ego te: cave sis tibi, ne in me mutassis nomen, si hoc concreduo. ibo ad te fretus tua, Fides, fiducia.

(paternally to object under cloak) God bless us both, pot, you do have enemies, ah yes, many enemies, you and the gold entrusted to you! As matters stand, pot, the best thing I can do for you is to carry you off to the shrine of Faith: I'll hide you away there, just as cosy! You know me, Faith, and I know you: don't change your name, mind, if I trust this to you. Yes, I'll go to you, Faith, relying on your faithfulness. [EXIT Euclio.



ACTVS IV

ACT IV

ENTER Strobilus.

Strob.

Hoc est servi facinus frugi, facere quod ego persequor, ne morae molestiaeque imperium erile habeat sibi. nam qui ero ex sententia servire servos postulat, in erum matura, in se sera condecet capessere. 590 sin dormitet, ita dormitet, servom sese ut cogitet.[13] (591)

(self-complacently) This is the way for a good servant to act, the way I do: no thinking master's orders are a botheration and nuisance. I tell you what, if a servant wants to give satisfaction, he'd just better make it a case of master first and man second. Even if he should fall asleep, he ought to do it with an eye on the fact that he's a servant.

erile[14] imperium ediscat, ut quod frons velit oculi sciant; (599) quod iubeat citis quadrigis citius properet persequi. 600 qui ea curabit, abstinebit censione bubula, nec sua opera rediget umquam in splendorem compedes.

He's got to know his master's inclinations like a book, so that he can read his wishes in his face. And as for orders, he must push 'em through faster than a fast four-in-hand. If a chap minds all this, he won't be paying taxes on rawhide, or ever spend his time polishing a ball and chain with his ankles.

nunc erus meus amat filiam huius Euclionis pauperis; eam ero nunc renuntiatum est nuptum huic Megadoro dari. is speculatum huc misit me, ut quae fierent fieret particeps. nunc sine omni suspicione in ara hic adsidam sacra; hinc ego et huc et illuc potero quid agant arbitrarier.

Now the fact is, master's in love with the daughter of poor old Euclio here; and he's just got word she's going to be married to Megadorus there. So he's sent me over to keep my eyes peeled and report on operations. I'll just settle down alongside this sacred altar (does so) and no one'll suspect me. I can inspect proceedings at both houses from here.

IV. 2.

Scene 2.

ENTER Euclio WITHOUT SEEING Strobilus.

Eucl.

Tu modo cave quoiquam indicassis aurum meum esse istic, Fides: non metuo ne quisquam inveniat, ita probe in latebris situmst. edepol ne illic pulchram praedam agat, si quis illam invenerit 610 aulam onustam auri; verum id te quaeso ut prohibessis, Fides.

(plaintively) Only be sure you don't let anyone know my gold is there. Faith: no fear of anyone finding it, not after the lovely way I tucked it in that dark nook, (pauses) Oh my God, what a beautiful haul he would get, if anyone should find it—a pot just crammed with gold! For mercy's sake, though, Faith, don't let him!

nunc lavabo, ut rem divinam faciam, ne affinem morer quin ubi accersat meam extemplo filiam ducat domum. vide, Fides, etiam atque etiam nunc, salvam ut aulam abs te auferam: tuae fide concredidi aurum, in tuo loco et fano est situm.

(walks slowly toward house) Now I'll have a bath, so that I may sacrifice and not hinder my prospective son-in-law from marrying my girl the moment he claims her. (looking down street toward temple) Take care now, Faith, do, do, do take care I get my pot back from you safe. I've trusted my gold to your good faith, laid it away in your grove and shrine. [EXIT Euclio INTO HOUSE.

Strob.

Di immortales, quod ego hunc hominem facinus audivi loqui: se aulam onustam auri abstrusisse hic intus in fano Fide. cave tu illi fidelis, quaeso, potius fueris, quam mihi. atque hic pater est, ut ego opinor, huius erus quam amat, virginis.

(jumping up) Ye immortal gods! What's all this I heard the fellow tell of! A pot just crammed with gold hidden in the shrine of Faith here! For the love of heaven, Faith, don't be more faithful to him than to me. Yes, and he's the father of the girl that is master's sweetheart, or I'm mistaken.

ibo hinc intro, perscrutabor fanum, si inveniam uspiam 620 aurum, dum his est occupatus. sed si repperero, o Fides, mulsi congialem plenam faciam tibi fideliam. id adeo tibi faciam; verum ego mihi bibam, ubi id fecero.

I'm going in there: I'll search that shrine from top to bottom and see if I can't find the gold somewhere while he's busy here. But if I come across it—oh, Faith, I'll pour you out a five pint pot of wine and honey! There now! that's what I'll do for you; and when I've done that for you, why, I'll drink it up for myself. [EXIT TO TEMPLE AT A RUN.

IV. 3.

Scene 3.

RE-ENTER Euclio FROM HOUSE.

Eucl.

Non temere est quod corvos cantat mihi nunc ab laeva manu; semul radebat pedibus terram et voce croccibat sua: continuo meum cor coepit artem facere ludicram atque in pectus emicare. sed ego cesso currere?

(excitedly) It means something—that raven cawing on my left just now! And all the time a-clawing the ground, croaking away, croaking away! The minute I heard him my heart began to dance a jig and jumped up into my throat. But I must run, run! [EXIT TO TEMPLE.

IV. 4.

Scene 4.

A FEW MOMENTS ELAPSE. THEN THE SOUND OF A SCUFFLE DOWN THE STREET. RE-ENTER Euclio DRAGGING Strobilus.

Eucl.

I foras, lumbrice, qui sub terra erepsisti modo, qui modo nusquam comparebas, nunc, cum compares, peris, ego pol te, praestrigiator, miseris iam accipiam modis. 630

Come! out, you worm! crawling up from under-ground just now! A minute ago you weren't to be found anywhere, and (grimly) now you're found you're finished! Oh-h-h-h, you felon! I'm going to give it to you, this very instant! (beats him)

Strob.

Quae te mala crux agitat? quid tibi mecum est commerci, senex? quid me adflictas? quid me raptas? qua me causa verberas?

What the devil's got into you? What business have you got with me, old fellow? What are you pounding me for? What are you jerking me along for? What do you mean by battering me?

Eucl.

Verberabilissime, etiam rogitas, non fur, sed trifur?

(still pummelling him) Mean, eh? You batterissimo. You're not a thief: you're three thieves.

Strob.

Quid tibi surrupui?

What did I steal from you?

Eucl.

Redde huc sis.

(threateningly) You kindly give it back.

Strob.

Quid tibi vis reddam?

Back? What back?

Eucl.

Rogas?

A nice question!

Strob.

Nil equidem tibi abstuli.

I didn't take a thing from you, honestly.

Eucl.

At illud quod tibi abstuleras cedo. ecquid agis?

Well, what you took dishonestly, then! Hand it over! Come, come, will you!

Strob.

Quid agam?

Come, come, what?

Eucl.

Auferre non potes.

You shan't get away with it.

Strob.

Quid vis tibi?

What is it you want?

Eucl.

Pone.

Down with it!

Strob.

Id quidem pol te datare credo consuetum, senex.

Down with it, eh! Looks as if you'd downed too much of it yourself already, old boy.

Eucl.

Pone hoc sis, aufer cavillam, non ego nunc nugas ago.

Down with it, I tell you! None of your repartee! I'm not in the humour for trifling now.

Strob.

Quid ego ponam? quin tu eloquere quidquid est suo nomine. non hercle equidem quicquam sumpsi nec tetigi.

Down with what? Come along, speak out and give it its name, whatever it is. Hang it all, I never took a thing nor touched a thing, and that's flat.

Eucl.

Ostende huc manus. 640

Show me your hands.

Strob.

Em tibi, ostendi, eccas.

(stretching them out) All right—there they are: have a look.

Eucl.

Video. age ostende etiam tertiam.

(dryly) I see. Come now, the third one: out with it.

Strob.

Laruae hunc atque intemperiae insaniaeque agitant senem facisne iniuriam mihi?

(aside) He's got 'em! The old chap's mad, stark, staring mad! (to Euclio, virtuously) Now aren't you doing me an injury?

Eucl.

Fateor, quia non pendes, maximam atque id quoque iam fiet, nisi fatere.

I am, a hideous injury—in not hanging you. And I'll soon do that, too, if you don't confess.

Strob.

Quid fatear tibi?

Confess what?

Eucl.

Quid abstulisti hinc?

What did you carry off from here? (pointing toward temple)

Strob.

Di me perdant, si ego tui quicquam abstuli nive adeo abstulisse vellem.

(solemnly) May I be damned, if I carried off a thing of yours. (aside) Likewise if I didn't want to.

Eucl.

Agedum, excutedum pallium.

Come on, shake out your cloak.

Strob.

Tuo arbitratu.

(doing so) Anything you say.

Eucl.

Ne inter tunicas habeas.

Um! probably under your tunic.

Strob.

Tempta qua lubet.

(cheerfully) Feel anywhere you please.

Eucl.

Vah, scelestus quam benigne: ut ne abstulisse intellegam. novi sycophantias. age rusum ostende huc manum dexteram.

Ugh! you rascal! How obliging you are! That I may think you didn't take it! I'm up to your dodges. (searches him) Once more now—out with your hand, the right one.

Strob.

Em.

(obeying) There you are.

Eucl.

Nunc laevam ostende.

Now the left one.

Strob.

Quin equidem ambas profero. 650

(obeying) Why, certainly: here's the both of 'em.

Eucl.

Iam scrutari mitto. redde huc.

Enough of this searching. Now give it here.

Strob.

Quid reddam?

What?

Eucl.

A, nugas agis, certe habes.

Oh-h! Bosh! You must have it!

Strob.

Habeo ego? quid habeo?

I have it? Have what?

Eucl.

Non dico, audire expetis. id meum, quidquid habes, redde.

I won't say: you're too anxious to know. Anything of mine you've got, hand it over.

Strob.

Insanis: perscrutatus es tuo arbitratu, neque tui me quicquam invenisti penes.

Crazy! You went all through me as much as you liked without finding a solitary thing of yours on me.

Eucl.

Mane, mane. quis illic est? quis hic intus alter erat tecum simul? perii hercle: ille nunc intus turbat, hunc si amitto hic abierit. postremo hunc iam perscrutavi, his nihil habet. abi quo lubet.

(excitedly) Wait, wait! (turns toward temple and listens) Who's in there? Who was that other fellow in there along with you? (aside) My Lord! this is awful, awful! There's another one at work in there all this time. And if I let go of this one, he'll skip off. (pauses) But then I've searched him already: he hasn't anything. (aloud) Off with you, anywhere! (releases him with a final cuff)

Strob.

Iuppiter te dique perdant.

(from a safe distance) You be everlastingly damned!

Eucl.

Haud male egit gratias. ibo intro atque illi socienno tuo iam interstringam gulam. fugin hinc ab oculis? abin an non.

(aside, dryly) Nice way he has of showing his gratitude. (aloud, sternly) I'll go in there, and that accomplice of yours—I'll strangle him on the spot. Are you going to vanish? Are you going to get out, or not? (advances)

Strob.

Abeo.

(retreating) I am, I am!

Eud.

Cave sis[15] te videam. 660

And kindly see I don't set eyes on you again. [EXIT Euclio TOWARD TEMPLE.

IV. 5.

Scene 5.

Strob.

Emortuom ego me mavelim leto malo quam non ego illi dem hodie insidias seni. nam hic iam non audebit aurum abstrudere: credo ecferet iam secum et mutabit locum. attat, foris crepuit. senex eccum aurum ecfert foras. tantisper huc ego ad ianuam concessero.

I'd sooner be tortured to death than not give that old fellow a surprise to-day. (reflecting) Well, after this he won't dare hide his gold here. What he'll most likely do is bring it out with him and put it somewhere else. (listening) Hm-m-m! There goes the door! Aha! the old boy's coming out with it. I'll just back up by the doorway for a while. (hides by Megadorus's house)

IV. 6.

Scene 6

RE-ENTER Euclio WITH POT.

Eucl.

Fide censebam maxumam multo fidem esse, ea sublevit os mihi paenissume: ni subvenisset corvos, periissem miser. nimis hercle ego illum corvom ad me veniat velim. 670 qui indicium fecit, ut ego illi aliquid boni dicam; nam quod edit tam duim quam perduim.

I used to fancy Faith, of all deities, was absolutely faithful, and here she's just missed making a downright ass of me. If that raven hadn't stood by me, I'd be a poor, poor ruined man. By heavens, I'd just like that raven to come and see me, the one that warned me, I certainly should, so that I might pay him a handsome—compliment. As for tossing him a bite to eat, why, that would amount to throwing it away.

nunc hoc ubi abstrudam cogito solum locum. Silvani lucus extra murum est avius, crebro salicto oppletus. ibi sumam locum. certumst, Silvano potius credam quam Fide.

(meditating) Let me think now, where is some lonely spot to hide this in? (after a moment) There's that grove of Silvanus outside the wall, solitary, willow thickets all around. There's where I'll pick my place. I'd sooner trust Silvanus than Faith, and that's settled. [EXIT Euclio.

Strob.

Euge, euge, di me salvom et servatum volunt. iam ego illuc praecurram atque inscendam aliquam in arborem indeque observabo, aurum ubi abstrudat senex. quamquam hic manere me erus sese iusserat; 680 certum est, malam rem potius quaeram cum lucro.

Good! Good! The gods are with me. I'm a made man! Now I'll run on ahead and climb some tree there so as to sight the place where the old fellow hides it. What if master did tell me to wait here! I'd sooner look for a thrashing along with the cash, and that's settled. [EXIT Strobilus.

IV. 7.

Scene 7.

ENTER Lyconides AND Eunomia.

Lyc.

Dixi tibi, mater, iuxta rem mecum tenes. super Euchoms filia. nunc te obsecro resecroque, mater, quod dudum obsecraveram: fac mentionem cum avonculo, mater mea.

That's the whole story, mother: you see how it is with me and Euclio's daughter as well as I do. And now, mother, I beg you, beg you again and again, as I did before: do tell my uncle about it, mother dear.

Eun.

Scis tute facta velle me quae tu velis, et istuc confido a fratre me impetrassere; et causa iusta est, siquidem ita est ut praedicas, te eam compressisse vinulentum virginem.

Your wishes are mine, dear; you know that yourself: and I feel sure your uncle will not refuse me. It's a perfectly reasonable request, too, if it's all as you say and you actually did get intoxicated and treat the poor girl so.

Lyc.

Egone ut te advorsum mentiar, mater mea? 690

Is it like me to look you in the face and lie, my dear mother?

Phaed.

Perii, mea nutrix. obsecro te, uterum dolet. Iuno Lucina, tuam fidem!

(within Euclio's house) Oh—oh! Nurse! Nurse dear! Oh, God help me! The pain!

Lyc.

Em, mater mea, tibi rem potiorem verbo: clamat, parturit.

There, mother! There's better proof than words gives. Her cries! The child!

Eun.

Ei hac intro mecum, gnate mi, ad fratrem meum, ut istuc quod me oras impetratum ab eo auferam.

(agitated) Come, darling, come in to your uncle with me, so that I may persuade him to let it be as you urge.

Lyc.

I, iam sequar te, mater. sed servom meum Strobilum miror ubi sit, quem ego me iusseram hic opperiri. nunc ego mecum cogito: si mihi dat operam, me illi irasci iniurium est. ibo intro, ubi de capite meo sunt comitia. 700

You go, mother: I'll follow you in a moment. [EXIT Eunomia INTO Megadorus's HOUSE. I wonder (looking around) where that fellow Strobilus of mine is that I told to wait for me here. (pauses) Well, on thinking it over, if he's doing something for me, it's all wrong my finding fault with him. (turning toward Megadorus's door) Now for the session that decides my fate. [EXIT.

IV. 8.

Scene 8.

ENTER Strobilus WITH POT.

Strob.

Picis divitiis, qui aureos montes colunt, ego solus supero. nam istos reges ceteros memorare nolo, hominum mendicabula: ego sum ille rex Philippus. o lepidum diem, nam ut dudum hinc abii, multo illo adveni prior multoque prius me conlocavi in arborem indeque spectabam aurum ubi abstrudebat senex.

(elated) Woodpeckers that haunt the Hills of Gold, eh! I can buy 'em up my own single self. As for the rest of your big kings—not worth mentioning, poor beggarlets! I am the great King Philip. Oh, this is a grand day! Why, after I left here a while ago I got there long before him and was up in a tree long before he came: and from there I spotted where the old chap hid the stuff.

ubi ille abiit, ego me dorsum duco de arbore, exfodio aulam auri plenam. inde ex eo loco video recipere se senem; ille me non videt, 710 nam ego declinavi paululum me extra viam. attat, eccum ipsum. ibo ut hoc condam domum.

After he'd gone I scrabbled down, dug up the pot full of gold! Then I saw him coming back from the place; he didn't see me, though. I slipped off a bit to one side of the road (looking down street) Aha! there he comes! I'll home and tuck this out of sight. [EXIT Strobilus.

IV. 9.

Scene 9.

ENTER Euclio FRANTIC.

Eucl.

Perii interii occidi. quo curram? quo non curram? tene, tene. quem? quis? nescio, nil video, caecus eo atque equidem quo eam aut ubi sim aut qui sim nequeo cum animo certum investigare. obsecro vos ego, mi auxilio, oro obtestor, sitis et hominem demonstretis, quis eam abstulerit.

(running wildly back and forth) I'm ruined, I'm killed, I'm murdered! Where shall I run? Where shan't I run? Stop thief! Stop thief! What thief? Who? I don't know! I can't see! I'm all in the dark! Yes, yes, and where I'm going, or where I am, or who I am—oh, I can't tell, I can't think! (to audience) Help, help, for heaven's sake, I beg you, I implore you! Show the man that took it.

quid est? quid ridetis? novi omnes, scio fures esse hic complures, qui vestitu et creta occultant sese atque sedent quasi sint frugi. quid ais tu? tibi credere certum est, nam esse bonum ex voltu cognosco. hem, nemo habet horum? occidisti. dic igitur, quis habet? nescis? 720

Eh, what's that? What are you grinning for? I know you, the whole lot of you! I know there are thieves here, plenty of 'em, that cover themselves up in dapper clothes and sit still as if they were honest men. (to a spectator) You, sir, what do you say? I'll trust you, I will, I will. Yes, you're a worthy gentleman, I can tell it from your face. Ha! none of them has it? Oh, you've killed me! Tell me, who has got it, then? You don't know?

heu me miserum, misere perii, male perditus, pessime ornatus eo: tantum gemiti et mali maestitiaeque hic dies mi optulit, famem et pauperiem.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! I'm a ruined man! I'm lost, lost! Oh, what a plight! Oh, such a cruel, disastrous, dismal day— it's made a starveling of me, a pauper!

perditissimus ego sum omnium in terra; nam quid mi opust vita, qui tantum auri perdidi, quod concustodivi sedulo? egomet me defraudavi animumque meum geniumque meum; nunc eo alii laetificantur meo malo et damno. pati nequeo.

I'm the forlornest wretch on earth! Ah, what is there in life for me when I've lost all that gold I guarded, oh, so carefully! I've denied myself, denied my own self comforts and pleasures; yes, and now others are making merry over my misery and loss! Oh, it's unendurable!

ENTER Lyconides FROM HOUSE OF Megadorus.

Lyc.

Quinam homo hic ante aedis nostras eiulans conqueritur maerens? atque hic quidem Euclio est, ut opinor. oppido ego interii: palamst res, scit peperisse iam, ut ego opinor, filiam suam. nunc mi incertumst abeam an maneam, an adeam an fugiam quid agam edepol nescio. 730

Who in the world is raising all this howling, groaning hullabaloo before our house here? (looking round) Upon my word, it's Euclio, I do believe. (drawing back) My time has certainly come: it's all out. He's just learned about his daughter's child, I suppose. Now I can't decide whether to leave or stay, advance or retreat. By Jove, I don't know what to do!

IV. 10

Scene 10.

Eucl.

Quis homo hic loquitur?

(hearing sound of voice only) Who's that talking here?

Lyc.

Ego sum miser.

(stepping forward) I'm the poor wretch, sir.

Eucl.

Immo ego sum, et misere perditus, cui tanta mala maestitudoque optigit.

No, no, I'm the poor wretch, a poor ruined wretch, with all this trouble and tribulation.

Lyc.

Animo bono es.

Keep your courage up, sir.

Eucl.

Quo, obsecro, pacto esse possum?

For heaven's sake how can I?

Lyc.

Quia istuc facinus, quod tuom sollicitat animum, id ego feci et fateor.

Well, sir, that outrage that distresses you—(hesitantly) I'm to blame, and I confess it, sir.

Eucl.

Quid ego ex te audio?

Hey? What's that?

Lyc.

Id quod verumst.

The truth.

Eucl.

Quid ego de te commerui, adulescens, mali. quam ob rem ita faceres meque meosque perditum ires liberos?

How have I ever harmed you, young man, for you to act like this and try to ruin me and my children?

Lyc.

Deus impulsor mihi fuit, is me ad illam inlexit.

It was some demon got hold of me, sir, and led me on.

Eucl.

Quo modo?

How is this?

Lyc.

Fateor peccavisse et me culpam commeritum scio; id adeo te oratum advenio ut animo aequo ignoscas mihi.

I admit I've done wrong, sir; I deserve your reproaches, and I know it; more than that, I've come to beg you to be patient and forgive me.

Eucl.

Cur id ausu's facere, ut id quod non tuom esset tangeres? 740

How did you dare do it, dare touch what didn't belong to you?

Lyc.

Quid vis fieri? factum est illud: fieri infectum non potest. deos credo voluisse; nam ni vellent, nori fieret, scio.

(penitently) Well, well, sir,—it's done, and it can't be undone. I think it must have been fated; otherwise it wouldn't have happened, I'm sure of that.

Eucl.

At ego deos credo voluisse ut apud me te in nervo enicem.

Yes, and I think it must have been fated that I'm to shackle you at my house and murder you!

Lyc.

Ne istuc dixis.

Don't say that, sir.

Eucl.

Quid tibi ergo meam me invito tactiost?

Then why did you lay hands on what was mine, without my permission?

Lyc.

Quia vini vitio atque amoris feci.

It was all because of drink ... and ... love, sir.

Eucl.

Homo audacissime, cum istacin te oratione huc ad me adire ausum, impudens! nam si istuc ius est ut tu istuc excusare possies, luci claro deripiamus aurum matronis palam, post id si prehensi simus, excusemus ebrios nos fecisse amoris causa. nimis vilest vinum atque amor, 750 si ebrio atque amanti impune facere quod lubeat licet.

The colossal impudence of it! To dare to come to me with a tale like that, you shameless rascal! Why, if it's legal to clear yourself that way, we should be stripping ladies of their jewellery on the public highways in broad daylight! And then when we were caught we'd excuse ourselves on the score that we were drunk, and did it out of love. Drink and love are altogether too cheap, if your drunken lover can do what he likes and not suffer for it.

Lyc.

Quin tibi ultro supplicatum venio obstultitiam meam.

Yes, but I've come of my own accord sir, to entreat you to pardon my madness.

Eucl.

Non mi homines placent qui quando male fecerunt purigant. tu illam scibas non tuam esse. non attactam oportuit.

I have no patience with men who do wrong and then try to explain it away. You knew you had no right to act so: you should have kept hands off.

Lyc.

Ergo quia sum tangere ausus, haud causificor quin eam ego habeam potissimum.

Well, now that I did venture to act so, I have no objection to holding to it, sir,—I ask nothing better.

Eucl

Tun habeas me invito meam?

(more angry) Hold to it? Against my will?

Lyc.

Haud te invito postulo, sed meam esse oportere arbitror. quin tu iam invenies, inquam, meam illam esse oportere, Euclio.

I won't insist on it against your will, sir, but I do think my claim is just. Why, you'll soon come to realize the justice of it yourself, sir, I assure you.

Eucl.

Iam quidem hercle te ad praetorem rapiam et tibi scribam dicam, nisi refers.

I'll march you off to court and sue you, by heaven I will, this minute, unless you bring it back.

Lyc.

Quid tibi ego referam?

I? Bring what back?

Eucl.

Quod surripuisti meum. 760

What you stole from me.

Lyc.

Surripui ego tuom? unde? aut quid id est?

I stole something of yours? Where from? What?

Eucl.

Ita te amabit Iuppiter ut tu nescis.

(ironically) God bless your innocence—you don't know!

Lyc.

Nisi quidem tu mihi quid quaeras dixeris.

Not unless you say what you're looking for.

Eucl.

Aulam auri, inquam, te resposco, quam tu confessu's mihi te abstulisse.

The pot of gold, I tell you; I want back the pot of gold you owned up to taking.

Lyc.

Neque edepol ego dixi neque feci.

Great heavens, man! I never said that or did it, either.

Eucl.

Negas?

You deny it?

Lyc.

Pernego immo. nam neque ego aurum neque istaec aula quae siet scio nec novi.

Deny it? Absolutely. Why, I don't know, haven't any idea, about your gold, or what that pot is.

Eucl.

Illam, ex Silvani luco quam abstuleras, cedo. i, refer. dimidiam tecum potius partem dividam. tam etsi fur mihi es, molestus non ero. i vero, refer.

The one you took from the grove of Silvanus—give it me. Go, bring it back. (pleadingly) You can have half of it, yes, yes, I'll divide. Even though you are such a thief, I won't make any trouble for you. Do, do go and bring it back, oh do!

Lyc.

Sanus tu non es qui furem me voces. ego te, Euclio, de alia re rescivisse censui, quod ad me attinet; 770 [16]magna est res quam ego tecum otiose, si otium est, cupio loqui.

Man alive, you're out of your senses, calling me a thief. I supposed you had found out about something else that does concern me, Euclio. There's an important matter I'm anxious to talk over quietly with you, sir, if you're at leisure.

Eucl.

Dic bona fide: tu id aurum non surripuisti?

Give me your word of honour: you didn't steal that gold?

Lyc.

Bona.

(shaking his head) On my honour.

Eucl.

Neque eum scis qui abstulerit?

And you don't know the man that did take it?

Lyc.

Istuc quoque bona.

Nor that, either, on my honour.

Eucl.

Atque id si scies qui abstulerit, mihi indicabis?

And if you learn who took it, you'll inform me?

Lyc.

Faciam.

I will.

Eucl.

Neque partem tibi ab eo qui habet indipisces neque furem excipies?

And you won't go shares with the man that has it, or shield the thief?

Lyc.

Ita.

No.

Eucl.

Quid si fallis?

What if you deceive me?

Lyc.

Tum me faciat quod volt magnus Iuppiter.

Then, sir, may I be dealt with as great God sees fit.

Eucl.

Sat habeo. age nunc loquere quid vis.

That will suffice. All right now, say what you want.

Lyc.

Si me novisti minus, genere quo sim gnatus: hic mihi est Megadorus avonculus, meus pater fuit Antimachus, ego vocor Lyconides. mater est Eunomia.

In case you're not acquainted with my family connections, sir,—Megadorus here is my uncle: my father was Antimachus, and my own name is Lyconides: Eunomia is my mother.

Eucl.

Novi genus. nunc quid vis? id volo 780 noscere.

I know who you are. Now what do you want? That's what I wish to know.

Lyc.

Filiam ex te tu habes.

You have a daughter.

Eucl.

Immo eccillam domi.

Yes, yes, at home there!

Lyc.

Eam tu despondisti, opinor, meo avonculo?

You have betrothed her to my uncle, I understand.

Eucl.

Omnem rem tenes.

Precisely, precisely.

Lyc.

Is me nunc renuntiare repudium iussit tibi.

He has asked me to inform you now that he breaks the engagement.

Eucl.

Repudium rebus paratis, exornatis nuptiis? ut illum di immortales omnes deaeque quantum est perduint, quem propter hodie auri tantum perdidi infelix, miser.

(furious) Breaks the engagement, with everything ready, the wedding prepared for? May all the everlasting powers above consume that villain that's to blame for my losing my gold, all that gold, poor God forsaken creature that I am!

Lyc.

Bono animo es, bene dice. nunc quae res tibi et gnatae tuae bene feliciterque vortat—ita di faxint, inquito.

Brace up, sir: don't curse. And now for some thing that I pray will turn out well and happily for yourself and your daughter—"God grant it may!" Say that.

Eucl.

Ita di faciant.

(doubtfully) God grant it may!

Lyc.

Et mihi ita di faciant. audi nunciam. qui homo culpam admisit in se, nullust tam parvi preti, 790 quom pudeat, quin purget sese. nunc te obtestor, Euclio, ut si quid ego erga te imprudens peccavi aut gnatam tuam, ut mi ignoscas eamque uxorem mihi des, ut leges iubent. ego me iniuriam fecisse filiae fateor tuae, Cereris vigiliis, per vinum atque impulsu adulescentiae.

And God grant it may for me, too! Now listen, sir. There isn't a man alive so worthless but what he wants to clear himself when he's done wrong and is ashamed. Now, sir, if I've injured you or your daughter without realizing what I was doing, I implore you to forgive me and let me marry her as I'm legally bound to. (nervously) It was the night of Ceres' festival ... and what with wine and ... a young fellow's natural impulses together ... I wronged her, I confess it.

Eucl.

Ei mihi, quod ego facinus ex te audio?

Oh, oh, my God! What villainy am I hearing of?

Lyc.

Cur eiulas, quem ego avom feci iam ut esses filiai nuptus? nam tua gnata peperit, decumo mense post: numerum cape; ea re repudium remisit avonculus causa mea. i intro, exquaere, sitne ita ut ego praedico.

(patting his shoulder) Lamenting, sir, lamenting, when you're a grandfather, and this your daughter's wedding day? You see it's the tenth month since the festival—reckon it up—and we have a child, sir. This explains my uncle's breaking the engagement: he did it for my sake. Go in and inquire if it isn't just as I tell you.

Eucl.

Perii oppido, 800 ita mihi ad malum malae res plurimae se adglutinant. ibo intro, ut quid huius verum sit sciam.

Oh, my life is wrecked, wrecked! The way calamities swarm down and settle on me one after another! Go in I will, and have the truth of it! [EXIT INTO HIS HOUSE.

Lyc.

Iam te sequor haec propemodum iam esse in vado salutis res videtur nunc servom esse ubi dicam meum Strobilum non reperio; nisi etiam hic opperiar tamen paulisper, postea intro hunc subsequar. nunc interim spatium ei dabo exquirendi meum factum ex gnatae pedisequa nutrice anu. ea rem novit.

(as he disappears) I'll soon be with you, sir. (after a pause, contentedly) It does look as if we were pretty nearly safe in the shallows now. (looking around) Where in the world my fellow Strobilus is I can't imagine. Well, the only thing to do is to wait here a bit longer; then I'll join father-in-law inside. Meanwhile I'll let him have an opportunity to inquire into the case from the old nurse that's been his daughter's maid: she knows about it all. (waits in doorway)



ACTVS V

ACT V

ENTER Strobilus.

Strob.

Di immortales quibus et quantis me donatis gaudiis. quadrilibrem aulam auro onustam habeo. quis me est ditior? quis me Athenis nunc magis quisquam est homo cui di sint propitii? 810

Ye immortal gods, what joy, what bliss, ye bless me with! I have a four pound pot of gold, chock full of gold! Show me a man that's richer! Who's the chap in all Athens now that Heaven's kinder to than me?

Lyc.

Certo enim ego vocem hic loquentis modo mi audire visus sum.

Why, it surely seemed as if I heard some one's voice just then. (catches a glimpse of Strobilus's face, the latter wheeling around as he sees Lyconides)

Strob.

Hem, erumne ego aspicio meum?

(aside) Hm! Is that master there?

Lyc.

Videon ego hunc servom meum?

(aside) My servant, is it?

Strob.

Ipsus est.

(aside, after a quick glance) It's the governor.

Lyc.

Haud alius est.

(aside) Himself.

Strob.

Congrediar.

(aside) Here goes. (moves toward Lyconides)

Lyc.

Contollam gradum. credo ego illum, ut iussi, eampse anum adiisse, huius nutricem virginis.

(aside) I'll go meet him. No doubt he's followed instructions and been to see that old woman I mentioned, my girl's nurse.

Strob.

Quin ego illi me invenisse dico hanc praedam[17]? igitur orabo ut manu me emittat. ibo atque eloquar. repperi—

(aside) Why not tell him I've found this prize? Then I'll beg him to set me free. I'll up and let him have the whole story. (to Lyconides, as they meet) I've found—

Lyc.

Quid repperisti?

(scoffingly) Found what?

Strob.

Non quod pueri clamitant in faba se repperisse.

No such trifle as youngsters hurrah over finding in a bean.[E]

[Footnote E: It is uncertain what they did find.]

Lyc.

Iamne autem, ut soles? deludis.

At your old tricks? You're chaffing. (pretends to be about to leave)

Strob.

Ere, mane, eloquar iam, ausculta.

Hold on, sir: I'll tell you all about it this minute. Listen.

Lyc.

Age ergo loquere.

Well, well, then, tell away.

Strob.

Repperi hodie, 820 ere, divitias nimias.

Sir, to-day I've found—boundless riches!

Lyc.

Ubinam?

(interested) You have? Where?

Strob.

Quadrilibrem, inquam, aulam auri plenam.

A four pound pot, sir, I tell you, a four pound pot just full of gold!

Lyc.

Quod ego facinus audio ex te? Euclioni hic seni subripuit. ubi id est aurum?

What's all this you've done? He's the man that robbed old Euclio. Where is this gold?

Strob.

In arca apud me. nunc volo me emitti manu.

In a box at home. Now I want you to set me free.

Lyc.

Egone te emittam manu, scelerum cumulatissime?

(angrily) I set you free, you, you great lump of iniquity?

Strob.

Abi, ere, scio quam rem geras. lepide hercle animum tuom temptavi. iam ut eriperes apparabas: quid faceres, si repperissem?

(crestfallen, then laughing heartily) Go along with you, sir! I know what you're after. Gad! that was clever of me, testing you in that way! And you were just getting ready to drop on it! Now what would you be doing, if I really had found it?

Lyc.

Non potes probasse nugas. i, redde aurum.

No, no, that won't pass. Off with you: hand over the gold.

Strob.

Reddam ego aurum?

Hand over the gold? I?

Lyc.

Redde, inquam, ut huic reddatur.

Yes, hand it over, so that it may be handed over to Euclio.

Strob.

Unde?

Gold? Where from?

Lyc.

Quod modo fassu's esse in arca.

The gold you just admitted was in the box.

Strob.

Soleo hercle ego garrire nugas. 830

Lyc.

[18]

Strob.

Ita loquor.

That's what I say.

Lyc.

At scin quomodo?[19]

(seizing him) See here, do you know what you'll get?

Strob.

Vel hercle enica, numquam hinc feres a me.

By heaven, sir, you can even kill me, but you won't have it from me, never—

The rest of the play is lost, save for a few fragments. Apparently Lyconides, on returning the pot of gold, was given permission to marry Euclio's daughter; and Euclio, having a change of heart, or influenced by his Household God, gave it to the young couple as a wedding present.



FRAGMENTA

FRAGMENTS

pro illis corcotis, strophiis, sumptu uxorio I

Instead of those fine saffron dresses, girdles, trousseau outlay

ut admemordit hominem II

How he fleeced the man

Eucl.

ego ecfodiebam in die denos scrobes. III

I used to be digging ten ditches a day.

Eucl.

nec noctu nec diu IV quietus umquam servabam eam: nunc dormiam.

I never had a bit of rest day or night watching it: now I shall sleep.

qui mi holera cruda ponunt, hallec adduint. V

People that serve me raw vegetables ought to add some sauce.

* * * * *

[Footnote 1: Leo brackets following v., 266: credo ego illum iam inaudivisse mi esse thensaurum domi.]

[Footnote 2: 299, 300 inverted, Gulielmius: Leo, following Havet, assumes lacuna after 298.]

[Footnote 3: Leo notes lacuna here: etiam tu Leo.]

[Footnote 4: Corrupt (Leo): stultu's et sine gratiast ibi Gulielmius.]

[Footnote 5: Leo brackets following v., 393: nimirum occidor, nisi ego intro huc propere propero currere.]

[Footnote 6: Attatae Lindsay: optate MSS: cives V^2: vires B: vives D V^1.]

[Footnote 7: Corrupt (Leo): Goetz deletes coepit.]

[Footnote 8: Corrupt (Leo): manupretium Leo for manubrium.]

[Footnote 9: Leo brackets following v., 472: quid opust verbis? acta est pugna in gallo gallinacio.]

[Footnote 10: Corrupt (Leo): myrobaptarii Leo.]

[Footnote 11: Leo brackets following v., 515: petunt fullones, sorcinatores petunt.]

[Footnote 12: curiosam MSS: curionem Gulielmius, followed by Leo and others.]

[Footnote 13: Leo brackets following v., 592-598: nam qui amanti ero servitutem servit, quasi ego servio, si erum videt superare amorem, hoc servi est officium reor, retinere ad salutem, non enim quo incumbat eo impellere. quasi pueri qui nare discunt scirpea induitur ratis, (595) qui laborent minus, facilius ut nent et moveant manus, eodem modo servom ratem esse amanti ero aequom censeo, ut eum toleret, ne pessum abeat tamquam—]

[For when a slave's slaving it like I am for a master who is in love, if he sees his master's heart is running away with him, it's the slave's duty, in my opinion, to hold him in and save him and not hurry him on the way he's headed. It's like boys learning to swim: they lie on a rush float so as not to have to work so hard and so as to swim more easily and use their arms. In the same way I hold that a slave ought to be his master's float, if his master's in love, so as to support him and not let him go to the bottom like—]

[Footnote 14: Corrupt (Leo): eri ille Wagner.]

[Footnote 15: Corrupt (Leo): revideam Bothe.]

[Footnote 16: Corrupt (Leo): res excised by Hare.]

[Footnote 17: praedam atque eloquar MSS: Leo brackets atque eloquar.]

[Footnote 18: Leo notes lacuna here. Non te habere dicis aurum Leo.]

[Footnote 19: Leo notes lacuna here. Verberibus caedere donec reddideris Leo.]

* * * * *

[Transcriber's Corrections: Aulularia (The Pot of Gold)

Argument II a rascally servant of the girl's assailant text reads the girls' assailant ]

II. 1. l. 141 nec tibi advorsari certum est text reads ned tibi

II. 3. l. 270 Eucl. Vascula intus... Eucl. Hurry up with the dishes... speaker not named (continues from previous scene)

III. 6. l. 537 Eucl. Nimium lubenter... Eucl. Gratified, highly gratified... Latin scene break adjusted to agree with English ]

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

BACCHIDES

* * * * *

PERSONAE

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

PISTOCLERVS ADVLESCENS BACCHIS - SOROR MERETRIX BACCHIS - SOROR MERETRIX LYDVS PAEDAGOGVS CHRYSALVS SERVVS NICOBVLVS SENEX MNESILOCHVS ADVLESCENS PHILOXENVS SENEX PARASITVS PVER ARTAMO LORARIVS CLEOMACHVS MILES

PISTOCLERUS, son of Philoxenus. BACCHIS OF ATHENS, courtesan. BACCHIS OF SAMOS, her sister, courtesan. LYDUS, slave of Philoxenus and tutor of Pistoclerus. CHRYSALUS, slave of Nicobulus and Mnesilochus. NICOBULUS, an old gentleman of Athens. MNESILOCHUS, his son. PHILOXENUS, an old gentleman of Athens. A PARASITE, a retainer of the Captain's. A PAGE in the service of the Captain. ARTAMO, Nicobulus's slave overseer. CLEOMACHUS, a Captain.



Scene:—Athens. A street with the houses of Bacchis and Nicobulus side by side.

The first part of the play is lost, save for a few fragments, together with the last part of THE POT OF GOLD: Leo's summary of it follows:

Pistoclerus has received a letter from his friend Mnesilochus at Ephesus asking for help in his love affair. He has been captivated by a girl there named Bacchis, who has been hired for a year by a certain Captain Cleomachus and taken by him to Athens. Mnesilochus wishes his friend to find Bacchis and obtain her release from the Captain. A servant of Bacchis of Athens has gone down to the harbour and comes back to her mistress with the report that her sister Bacchis has arrived. In charge of a slave of the Captain's this sister appears. The sisters meet with Pistoclerus, who is in search of his friend's sweetheart, and determine to make him useful.



FRAGMENTA

FRAGMENTS

quibus ingenium in animo utibilest, modicum et sine vernilitate I (IV G)

Those with a mental make-up of the right sort, modest and civil.

vincla, virgae, molae: saevitudo mala fit peior II (V)

Shackles, whips, work in the mill: frightful cruelty gets to be more frightful.

converrite[1] scopis, agite strenue III (VI)

Sweep (it) up with your brooms: come, be lively.

ecquis evocat IV (VII) cum nassiterna et cum aqua istum impurissimum?

Some one call out that vile wretch with a big pail and some water.

sicut lacte lactis similest V (VIII)

As much alike as two drops of milk are.

Bacch. illa mi cognominis fuit VI (III)

She had the same name as myself

latro suam qui auro vitam venditat VII (IX)

A mercenary who sells his life for gold.

scio spiritum eius maiorem esse multo VIII (X) quam folles taurini habent, cum liquescunt petrae, ferrum ubi fit.

I'm sure his breathing's much louder than the puffs from a bull's-hide bellows when they're melting rocks at the iron-works.

Cuiatis tibi visust? IX (XI) Praenestinum opino esse, ita erat gloriosus. neque id haud subditiva gloria oppidum arbitror.

Where does he come from, do you think? Praeneste, probably, to judge from his boasting. I don't think the town's fame is at all supposititious.

Puer. ne a quoquam acciperes alio mercedem annuam, X (XVII) nisi ab sese, nec cum quiquam limares caput.

Page Not to let you take a yearly fee from anyone else but him, or rub heads with anyone.

limaces viri XI (XVIII)

Slugs of men.

cor meum, spes mea, XII (XIII) mel meum, suavitudo, cibus, gaudium.

My heart, my hope, my honey, sweetness, food delight.

sine te amem XIII (XIV)

Do let me love you

Cupidon tecum saevust anne Amor? XIV (XIX)

Is it Cupid, or Love, raging within you?

Vlixem audivi fuisse aerumnosissimum, XV (I) qui annis viginti errans a patria afuit; verum hic adulescens multo Vlixem anteit[2] qui ilico errat intra muros civicos.

They say Ulysses had an awfully hard time of it, away from home as he was for twenty years, wandering round. But this young gentleman is a long way ahead of Ulysses with his wandering round here inside the city walls.

quidquid est nomen sibi XVI (II)

Whatever her (his) name is

Pistoc. quae sodalem atque me exercitos habet XVII

A girl that has been keeping my chum and me exercised

nam credo cuivis excantare cor potes. XVIII

For I do believe you can witch the heart out of anyone you please

sin lenocinium forte collibitum est tibi, XIX videas mercedis quid tibi est aecum dari, ne istac aetate me sectere gratiis. 30

But if pandering happens to have caught your fancy, you should consider what price ought to be paid you, that you may not run after me at that time of life for nothing.

Arabus. XX

Arabian



Bacchis AND HER SISTER ARE STANDING TOGETHER TALKING. Pistoclerus APART.

Bacch.

Quid si hoc potis est ut tu taceas, ego loquar?

How about your keeping a quiet tongue yourself, if possible, and my doing the talking?

Soror.

Lepide, licet.

Charming! By all means.

Bacch.

Ubi me fugiet memoria, ibi tu facito ut subvenias, soror.

In case my memory deserts me, see you come to the rescue, sister.

Soror.

Pol magis metuo, ne defuerit mi in monendo oratio.

Goodness me! I'm more afraid of sage suggestions failing myself.

Bacch.

Pol ego metuo, lusciniolae ne defuerit cantio. sequere hac.

(laughing) Goodness me! And I'm afraid of song failing the little nightingale. Come on. (leads the way toward Pistoclerus)

Pistoc.

Quid agunt duae germanae meretrices cognomines? quid in consilio consuluistis?

(aside, nervously) What are those two up to, those harlot sisters with the same name? (aloud, trying to assume the air of a man of the world) What have you girls settled on in that session?

Bacch.

Bene.

Something nice.

Pistoc.

Pol haud meretricium est. 40

By Jove! Unusual in the profession!

Bacch.

Miserius nihil est quam mulier.

(in apparent dejection) Oh, there's nothing more miserable than a woman!

Pistoc.

Quid esse dices dignius?

And what ought to be more so, in your opinion?

Bacch.

Haec ita me orat, sibi qui caveat aliquem ut hominem reperiam, ut istunc militem—ut, ubi emeritum sibi sit, se revehat domum. id, amabo te, huic caveas.

My sister here is imploring me to find some one to stand by her, so that our Captain—so that he may carry her back home when she's served her time. Do stand by her in this, there's a dear.

Pistoc.

Quid isti caveam?

Stand by her? How?

Bacch.

Ut revehatur domum, ubi ei dediderit operas, ne hanc ille habeat pro ancilla sibi; nam si haec habeat aurum quod illi renumeret, faciat lubens.

To have her carried back home when she's finished her service, so that he mayn't keep her for his maid servant. Why, if she only had the money to pay him back, she'd be glad to do it.

Pistoc.

Ubi nunc is homost?

Where is this man at present?

Bacch.

Iam hic credo aderit. sed hoc idem apud nos rectius poteris agere; atque is dum veniat, sedens ibi opperibere. eadem biberis, eadem dedero tibi, ubi biberis, savium.

He'll be here soon, I suppose. But this is a matter you can manage better at our house; yes, you sit down and wait there till he comes. (coaxingly) You shall have something to drink, too, and after that I'll give you just the nicest sort of kiss, too.

Pistoc.

Viscus merus vostrast blanditia.

Nothing but birdlime, these honeyed words.

Bacch.

Quid iam?

Oh now, why?

Pistoc.

Quia enim intellego, 50 duae unum expetitis palumbem,[3] perii harundo alas verberat. non ego istuc facinus mihi, mulier, conducibile esse arbitror.

Well, because here you are, the pair of you, after one lone pigeon. (aside) Damnation! The limed twigs are brushing my wings! (aloud, stiffly) Madam, I consider this an unprofitable business for me to be in.

Bacch.

Qui, amabo?

Bless your heart, why so?

Pistoc.

Quia, Bacchis, bacchas metuo et bacchanal tuom.

Well, Bacchis, I'm afraid of Bacchantes and your Bacchante resort.

Bacch.

Quid est? quid metuis? ne tibi lectus malitiam apud me suadeat?

How's that? What are you afraid of? The couch's tempting you to be naughty with me?

Pistoc.

Magis illectum tuom quam lectum metuo. mala tu es bestia. nam huic aetati non conducit, mulier, latebrosus locus.

It's not so much the couch as the couch's alluring occupant I'm afraid of. You're a dangerous animal. Why, dens of darkness don't become a young fellow like me.

Bacch.

Egomet, apud me si quid stulte facere cupias, prohibeam. sed ego apud me te esse ob eam rem, miles cum veniat, volo, quia, cum tu aderis, huic mihique haud faciet quisquam iniuriam: tu prohibebis, et eadem opera tuo sodali operam dabis; 60 et ille adveniens tuam med esse amicam suspicabitur. quid, amabo, opticuisti?

(quite artless) If you felt like doing anything silly there with me, I'd stop you my own self. But this is why I want you to be at my house when the Captain comes—because no one will do her (pointing to sister) or me any harm when you're by. You'll prevent it, and be helping along your chum at the same time; and when that military man arrives, he'll take me for your sweetheart. Now, now, my dearie,— why so silent?

Pistoc.

Quia istaec lepida sunt memoratui: eadem in usu atque ubi periclum facias, aculeata sunt, animum fodicant, bona distimulant, facta et famam sauciant.

Because those words of yours have a pretty sound: but when a fellow takes 'em up and tries 'em they're barbed—they pink a heart, run a fortune through, disable a character and reputation.

Soror

Quid ab hac metuis?

Why are you afraid of her?

Pistoc.

Quid ego metuam rogitas? adulescens homo penetrem me huius modi in palaestram, ubi damnis desudascitur?[4] (66)

Why am I afraid of her, eh? A young fellow like me to enter a physical training school of this sort (pointing to Bacchis's house) where a man only sweats himself to insolvency?

Bacch.

Lepide memoras.

(with pretended admiration) You do say such clever things!

Pistoc.

Ubi ego capiam pro machaera turturem,[5] (68) pro galea scaphium, pro insigni sit corolla plectilis, 70 pro hasta talos, pro lorica malacum capiam pallium, ubi mihi pro equo lectus detur, scortum pro scuto accubet? apage a me, apage.

Where my sword would be a turtle dove, my helmet a wine bowl, my plume a woven chaplet, my spear a dice box, my corselet a downy robe; where I'd be given a couch for a horse, with a bad, bad girl beside me for a buckler? Hence! Avaunt!

Bacch.

Ah, nimium ferus es.

Ah, you're too hard on us!

Pistoc.

Mihi sum.

I am hard on myself.

Bacch.

Malacissandus es. equidem tibi do hanc operam.

We'll have to soften you. Yes indeed, I'll take you in hand myself—(fondling him) this way.

Pistoc.

Ah, nimium pretiosa es operaria.

(submitting reluctantly) Ah, your handiwork is too expensive.

Bacch.

Simulato me amare.

Do make believe you love me.

Pistoc.

Utrum ego istuc iocon adsimulem an serio?

(smiling) Make believe in fun, or as if I meant business?

Bacch.

Heia, hoc agere meliust. miles quom huc adveniat, te volo me amplexari.

(reprovingly) Now, now! here's what we'd better do. When the Captain arrives I want you to hug me.

Pistoc.

Quid eo mi opus est?

What's the use of my doing that?

Bacch.

Ut ille te videat volo. scio quid ago.

I want him to see you. I know what I'm doing.

Pistoc.

Et pol ego scio quid metuo. sed quid ais?

Gad! And I know what I'm fearing. But, I say.

Bacch.

Quid est?

Well?

Pistoc.

Quid si apud te eveniat desubito prandium aut potatio forte aut cena, ut solet in istis fieri conciliabulis, 80 ubi ego tum accumbam?

What if there should happen to be an impromptu luncheon or drinking party at your house, or a dinner party, perhaps— the ordinary thing at resorts like yours—where would my place be then?

Bacch.

Apud me, mi anime, ut lepidus cum lepida accubet. locus hic apud nos, quamvis subito venias, semper liber est. ubi tu lepide voles esse tibi "mea rosa," mihi dicito "dato qui bene sit": ego ubi bene sit tibi locum lepidum dabo.

Next to me, darling; a nice boy and a nice girl side by side. This place at my house is your very own always, no matter how unexpectedly you come. Whenever you want to have a nice time just say, "Give me a comfy place, rosey dear," and I'll give you a nice place to be comfy in.

Pistoc.

Rapidus fluvius est hic, non hac temere transiri potest.

(half to himself) This is a rapid stream: dangerous crossing here!

Bacch.

Atque ecastor apud hunc fluvium aliquid perdundumst tibi. manum da et sequere.

(aside) My conscience, yes! And a stream you're bound to lose something in, young man! (aloud) Give me your hand and come along. (tries to take it)

Pistoc.

Aha, minime.

(drawing back) Oh no, not a bit of it!

Bacch.

Quid ita?

Why not?

Pistoc.

Quia istoc inlecebrosius fieri nil potest: nox mulier vinum homini adulescentulo.

Because a young fellow couldn't be offered a more enticing combination than that—wine, woman, and evening hours.

Bacch.

Age igitur, equidem pol nihili facio nisi causa tua. ille quidem hanc abducet; tu nullus adfueris, si non lubet. 90

All right then. Dear me, I don't mind at all except for your sake, indeed I don't. To be sure he'll carry her off; but don't you come near me if you don't like to. (looks at him sadly and appealingly)

Pistoc.

Sumne autem nihili, qui nequeam ingenio moderari meo?

(half aside) So I've no mind at all, eh—no power to control myself?

Bacch.

Quid est quod metuas?

What is it you're afraid of?

Pistoc.

Nihil est, nugae. mulier, tibi me emancupo: tuos sum, tibi dedo operam.

(pauses, then ardently) Nothing! Bagatelles! I surrender myself to you, my lady: I'm all your own; command me.

Bacch.

Lepidu's. nunc ego te facere hoc volo. ego sorori meae cenam hodie dare volo viaticam: eo tibi argentum iubebo iam intus ecferri foras; tu facito opsonatum nobis sit opulentum opsonium.

That's a nice boy! (petting him) Now this is what I want you to do. I want to give my sister a dinner to-day to celebrate her coming. I'll tell them to bring you out some money at once, and you're to see to provisioning us in perfectly splendid style. (turns to call to servant hither)

Pistoc.

Ego opsonabo, nam id flagitium meum sit, mea te gratia et operam dare mi et ad eam operam facere sumptum de tuo.

(eagerly) I'll stand the provisioning myself: why, it wouldn't be decent of me to let you give me a good time, in your kindness, and pay the bills for it too.

Bacch.

At ego nolo dare te quicquam.

(glancing slyly at her sister) But I don't want it to cost you anything.

Pistoc.

Sine.

Do let me.

Bacch.

Sino equidem, si lubet propera, amabo.

Oh, very well, if you really want to. Hurry along, there's a dear.

Pistoc.

Prius hic adero quam te amare desinam. 100

(fondly) I'll be back before I've stopped loving you. [EXIT Pistoclerus.

Soror

Bene me accipies advenientem, mea soror.

You're going to entertain me finely on my arrival, sister mine.

Bacch.

Quid ita, obsecro?

Indeed? Why do you say that?

Soror

Quia piscatus meo quidem animo hic tibi hodie evenit bonus.

Well, that's something fine in the fish line (with a smile toward the retreating figure of Pistoclerus) you've landed to-day, at least I think so.

Bacch.

Meus ille quidemst. tibi nunc operam dabo de Mnesilocho, soror, ut hic accipias potius aurum, quam hinc eas cum milite.

Oh yes, I've caught him all right. Now I must help you out in regard to Mnesilochus, my dear, so that you may pick up some money here rather than go trooping off with the Captain.

Soror

Cupio.

I do so wish you would.

Bacch.

Dabitur opera. aqua calet. eamus hinc intro, ut laves. nam uti navi vecta es, credo timida es.

We'll see to it. (going toward house) The water's hot: let's go inside so that you may bathe. For after that sea trip of yours I dare say you're feeling shaky.

Soror

Aliquantum, soror.[6] (106)

More or less, sister.

Bacch.

Sequere hac igitur me intro in lectum, ut sedes lassitudinem. (108)

Come on in with me then, so as to lie down and get rested. [EXEUNT.

I. 2.

Scene 2.

(An hour has elapsed.)

ENTER Pistoclerus PRECEDED BY SLAVES CARRYING PROVISIONS, FLOWERS, ETC. Lydus FOLLOWS.

Lydus

Iam dudum, Pistoclere, tacitus te sequor, expectans quas tu res hoc ornatu geras. 110 namque ita me di ament, ut Lycurgus mihi quidem videtur posse hic ad nequitiam adducier. quo nunc capessis ted hinc adversa via cum tanta pompa?

(magisterially) I have been following you in silence for some time, Pistoclerus, waiting to see what you were about with this gear. (pointing to slaves and their hampers) Why, Lord love me, I do believe Lycurgus[A] himself could be led astray here. Where are you betaking yourself now, going away up the street with such a train?

[Footnote A: The Spartan reformer]

Pistoc.

Huc.

(pointing to Bacchis's door) Here.

Lydus

Quid huc? quis istic habet?

What do you mean by "here"? Who lives there?

Pistoc.

Amor, Voluptas, Venus, Venustas, Gaudium, Iocus, Ludus, Sermo, Suavisaviatio.

(rapturously) Love, Delight, Venus, Grace, Joy, Jest, Jollity, Chitchat, Kissykissysweetkins!

Lydus

Quid tibi commercist cum dis damnosissimis?

(shocked) What commerce have you with such pernicious, pernicious deities?

Pistoc.

Mali sunt homines, qui bonis dicunt male; tu dis nec recte dicis: non aequom facis.

It takes a bad man to say bad things of the good; you're blaspheming the gods: it's wrong.

Lydus

An deus est ullus Sauvisaviatio? 120

You mean to say there is a god Kissykissysweetkins?

Pistoc.

An non putasti esse umquam? o Lyde, es barbarus; quem ego sapere nimio censui plus quam Thalem, is stultior es barbaro poticio, qui tantus natu deorum nescis nomina.

You mean to say you didn't ever suppose there was? Oh, Lydus, you are a barbarian! I fancied you were ever so much wiser than Thales and here you are, sillier than a barbarian babe in arms—your age, and not knowing the names of the gods!

Lydus

Non hic placet mi ornatus.

I do not like this paraphernalia.

Pistoc.

Nemo ergo tibi haec apparavit: mihi paratum est quoi placet.

Well, nobody got it together for you: it was got for me, and I do like it.

Lydus

Etiam me advorsus exordire argutias? qui si decem habeas linguas, mutum esse addecet.

Are you actually commencing to make smart replies to me? You whom it befits to be mute, even if you had ten tongues?

Pistoc.

Non omnis aetas, Lyde, ludo convenit. magis unum in mentemst mihi nunc, satis ut commode 130 pro dignitate opsoni haec concuret cocus.

We aren't schoolboys for ever, Lydus. The one thing uppermost in my mind just now is that the cook may do as creditable a job on these edibles as their excellence calls for.

Lydus

Iam perdidisti te atque me atque operam meam, qui tibi nequiquam saepe monstravi bene.

Ah, now you have thrown yourself away, and me, and my labour,—me, who many a time gave you good advice, all in vain!

Pistoc.

Ibidem ego meam operam perdidi, ubi tu tuam: tua disciplina nec mihi prodest nec tibi.

I threw away my own labour at the same place you did yours: your system of instruction is no good to either of us.

Lydus

O praeligatum pectus.

Oh, what an obdurate breast!

Pistoc.

Odiosus mihi es. tace atque sequere, Lyde, me.

You're a bore! Keep still and come along, Lydus.

Lydus

Illuc sis vide, non paedagogum iam me, sed Lydum vocat.

Now kindly look at that! He no longer calls me "Tutor," merely Lydus.

Pistoc.

Non par videtur neque sit consentaneum, cum haec qui emit intus sit et cum amica accubet 140 cumque osculetur et convivae alii accubent, praesentibus illis paedagogus una ut siet.

It's not the proper thing, it would be out of place, when the man who bought all this is inside there, and on a couch with his mistress, kissing her—and other guests about—to have his "Tutor" there in their presence.

Lydus

An hoc ad eas res opsonatumst, obsecro?

(horrified) In the name of heaven! These provisions bought for such an orgy?

Pistoc.

Sperat quidem animus: quo evenat dis in manust.

(flippantly) Well, of course man proposes and God disposes.

Lydus

Tu amicam habebis?

You to have a mistress, you?

Pistoc.

Cum videbis, tum scies.

(enthusiastically) Once you see her, then you'll know!

Lydus

Immo neque habebis neque sinam; i prorsum domum.

Never! You shall not have one; I will not allow it. (taking Pistoclerus by the arm and trying to lead him back) Go home this instant.

Pistoc.

Omitte, Lyde, ac cave malo.

(pulling away) Leave me alone, Lydus, and (threateningly) look out for trouble.

Lydus

Quid? cave malo?

What? "Look out for trouble?"

Pistoc.

Iam excessit mi aetas ex magisterio tuo.

I'm too old for you to play the teacher these days.

Lydus

O barathrum, ubi nunc es? ut ego te usurpem lubens.[7] 149 vixisse nimio satiust iam quam vivere. (151) magistron quemquam discipulum minitarier?[8]

(tragically) Oh, pit, where art thou now? How gladly would I take thee for mine own! Far better that I had died than lived for this! A pupil to threaten his teacher?[8]

Pistoc.

Fiam, ut ego opinor, Hercules, tu autem Linus. (155)

It's a Hercules I'll be, I'm thinking, and you a Linus.[B]

[Footnote B: Linus was killed by his pupil, Hercules.]

Lydus

Pol metuo magis, ne Phoenix tuis factis fuam teque ad patrem esse mortuom renuntiem.

Great heavens! I have more fear of your actions forcing me to be a Phoenix[C] and to convey to your father the news of your death.

[Footnote C: Phoenix, Achilles' preceptor, informed Peleus, Achilles' father, of his son's death]

Pistoc.

Satis historiarumst.

(impatiently) Enough of your tales!

Lydus

Hic vereri perdidit. compendium edepol haud aetati optabile fecisti, cum istanc nactu's inpudentiam. 160 occisus hic homo est. ecquid in mentem est tibi patrem tibi esse?

He is lost to shame! Great heavens! You gained nothing that does credit to your years in acquiring this impudence. The creature is past redemption! Does it ever occur to you that you have a father?

Pistoc.

Tibi ego an tu mihi servos es?

Am I your servant, or you mine?

Lydus

Peior magister te istaec docuit, non ego. nimio es tu ad istas res discipulus docilior, quam ad illa quae te docui, ubi operam perdidi.[9] (165)

It was a wicked, wicked teacher gave you these lessons, not I! You are a much apter pupil in matters of this sort than in the subjects I lost my labour teaching you.[9]

Pistoc.

Istactenus tibi, Lyde, libertas datast (168) orationis. satis est. sequere hac me ac tace.

(coolly) I've let you rant to your heart's content, so far, Lydus. Now drop it. Follow me this way and keep your mouth shut. [EXEUNT INTO THE HOUSE OF Bacchis, Lydus RELUCTANTLY.



ACTVS II

ACT II

ENTER Chrysalus

Chrys.

Erilis patria, salve, quam ego biennio, 170 postquam hinc in Ephesum abii conspicio lubens. saluto te, vicine Apollo, qui aedibus propinquos nostris accolis, veneroque te, ne Nicobulum me sinas nostrum senem prius convenire quam sodalem viderim Mnesilochi Pistoclerum, quem ad epistulam Mnesilochus misit super amica Bacchide.

(jauntily) Greetings, land of my—master! Land that I behold with joy after departing hence to Ephesus two years agone! (turning toward altar of Apollo in front of house) Thee I greet, neighbour Apollo, who dost dwell adjacent to our house, and I do implore thee not to let our old man Nicobulus fall in with me ere I see Pistoclerus, the chum of Mnesilochus, to whom Mnesilochus hath sent a letter about his mistress, Bacchis.

II. 2.

Scene 2.

ENTER Pistoclerus FROM HOUSE OF Bacchis.

Pistoc.

Mirumst me ut redeam te opere tanto quaesere, qui abire hinc nullo pacto possim, si velim ita me vadatum amore vinctumque adtines. 180

(to Bacchis within) It seems curious, your begging me so hard to come back, when I couldn't possibly leave you if I wanted, when you've got me so bound over to you, held fast in the fetters of love.

Chrys.

Pro di immortales, Pistoclerum conspicor. o Pistoclere, salve.

Ye everlasting gods! It's Pistoclerus. What ho, sir! How are you?

Pistoc.

Salve, Chrysale.

And yourself, Chrysalus?

Chrys.

Compendi verba multa iam faciam tibi venire tu me gaudes: ego credo tibi, hospitium et cenam pollicere, ut convenit peregre advenienti: ego autem venturum adnuc salutem tibi ab sodali solidam nuntio rogabis me ubi sit: vivit.

Here's for saving you the trouble of a long speech, sir. You're glad I've come: I believe you. You promise to do the honours and dine me, the stranger from afar, and so you should: for my part, I accept. I bring you cordial greetings from your chum. You'll ask me where he is: alive.

Pistoc.

Nempe recte valet?

(eagerly) And well, well, of course?

Chrys.

Istuc volebam ego ex te percontarier.

That's what I wanted to ask you.

Pistoc.

Qui scire possum?

How can I know?

Chrys.

Nullus plus.

None better.

Pistoc.

Quemnam ad modum? 190

Why, how so?

Chrys.

Quia si illa inventa est, quam ille amat, recte valet, si non inventa est, minus valet moribundusque est animast amica amanti. si abest, nullus est; si adest, res nullast. ipsus est—nequam et miser, sed tu quid factitasti mandatis super?

Because if his ladylove has been discovered, he's perfectly well: if she's not discovered, he's not so well; he's at death's door. His love is life to a lover: if she's away, he's lost; if she's there, his cash is lost, he himself being—a poor good-for-nothing fool. But you—what have you been doing about his commission?

Pistoc.

Egon ut, quod ab illoc attigisset nuntius, non impetratum id advenienti ei redderem? regiones colere mavellem Acherunticas.

I? Am I the man to let him arrive and find the request his messenger mentioned unattended to? I'd sooner pass my days in the lower regions.

Chrys.

Eho, an invenisti Bacchidem?

Hullo! You haven't found Bacchis?

Pistoc.

Samiam quidem. 199,200

Yes, the Samian one.

Chrys.

Vide quaeso, ne quis tractet illam indiligens; scis tu ut confringi vas cito Samium solet.

(affecting terror) Heavens! do see that no one handles that one carelessly; you know that Samian[D] ware, how precious brittle it is.

[Footnote D: A fragile and (The Captives 291) cheap kind of pottery.]

Pistoc.

Iamne ut soles?

The same old wag, eh?

Chrys.

Dic ubi ea nunc est, obsecro.

Tell me where she is now, for heaven's sake.

Pistoc.

Hic, exeuntem me unde aspexisti modo.

Here in the house you just saw me coming out of.

Chrys.

Ut istuc est lepidum: proximae viciniae habitat, ecquidnam meminit Mnesilochi?

Here's a go! Residing in the immediate neighbourhood! Well, well! does she remember Mnesilochus?

Pistoc.

Rogas? immo unice unum plurimi pendit.

Remember him? More than that, she thinks he's the one and only man on earth.

Chrys.

Papae.

Oh pshaw!

Pistoc.

Immo ut eam credis? misera amans desiderat.

More than that, what do you suppose her feelings are? The poor affectionate thing is dying for him.

Chrys.

Scitum istuc.

Quite charming!

Pistoc.

Immo, Chrysale, em, non tantulum umquam intermittit tempus quin eum nominet. 210

More than that, Chrysalus—look!—she doesn't let even so much (illustrating) time pass without mentioning his name.

Chrys.

Tanto hercle melior.

Humph! So much the better of her.

Pistoc.

Immo—

More than that—

Chrys.

Immo hercle abiero potius.

(bored) More than that, by gad, I'd rather get out of range!

Pistoc.

Num invitus rem bene gestam audis eri?

You don't object to hearing that your master is in a prosperous situation, do you?

Chrys.

Non res, sed actor mihi cor odio sauciat. etiam Epidicum, quam ego fabulam aeque ac me ipsum amo, nullam aeque invitus specto, si agit Pellio. sed Bacchis etiam fortis tibi visast?

It's not the situations that make me sick unto death; it's your confounding acting. Even the Epidicus[E]—a comedy I love as well as my own self—well, there's not a one I so object to seeing, if Pellio's playing in it. But you really consider Bacchis a fine lively one, do you?

[Footnote E: One of Plautus's plays.]

Pistoc.

Rogas? ni nanctus Venerem essem, hanc Iunonem dicerem.

Do you ask me that? If[F] I hadn't lighted on Venus myself, I'd call her Juno.

[Footnote F: Venus and Juno not being sisters.]

Chrys.

Edepol, Mnesiloche, ut hanc rem natam intellego, quod ames paratumst: quod des inventost opus. nam istic fortasse auro est opus.

(half aside) Well, by gad, Mnesilochus, as far as I can understand the present situation, you've got your love: the wherewithal is what you need to find. (to Pistoclerus) For I dare say there is need of gold in the affair.

Pistoc.

Philippeo quidem. 220

Yes, and good coin of the realm.

Chrys.

Atque eo fortasse iam opust.

And furthermore, I dare say it's needed soon.

Pistoc.

Immo etiam prius: nam iam huc adveniet miles.

No, before that, even: for a Captain's due here soon.

Chrys.

Et miles quidem?

Indeed? A Captain, too?

Pistoc.

Qui de amittenda Bacchide aurum hic exiget.

Who'll be after money for letting Bacchis go.

Chrys.

Veniat quando volt, atque ita ne mihi sit morae. domist: non metuo nec ego quoiquam supplico, dum quidem hoc valebit pectus perfidia meum. abi intro, ego hic curabo. tu intus dicito Mnesilochum adesse Bacchidi.

(airily) Let him come when he wants, yes, and let him take care not to keep me waiting. I'm provided: I fear no man and supplicate no man, not I,—at least as long as this heart of mine can prompt a good stiff lie. Inside with you: (grandly waving Pistoclerus in) I'll take charge here myself. You tell Bacchis in there that she may expect Mnesilochus at once.

Pistoc.

Faciam ut iubes.

Very well. [EXIT.

Chrys.

Negotium hoc ad me adtinet aurarium. mille et ducentos Philippum attulimus aureos 230 Epheso, quos hospes debuit nostro seni. inde ego hodie aliquam machinabor machinam, unde aurum efficiam amanti erili filio. sed foris concrepuit nostra: quinam exit foras?

It's my look out, this business of the exchequer. We've brought twelve hundred sovereigns from Ephesus, money a friend there owed our old man. I'll machinate some machinations to-day for transferring part of said gold to my lovesick young master. (listening) But there goes our door! Wonder who's coming out. (steps aside)

II. 3.

Scene 3.

ENTER Nicobulus FROM HIS HOUSE.

Nic.

Ibo in Piraeum, visam ecquae advenerit in portum ex Epheso navis mercatoria. nam meus formidat animus, nostrum tam diu ibi desidere neque redire filium.

I'll walk down to the Piraeus and see if any merchantman has come in from Ephesus. It worries me to have my son dilly-dallying there so long and not returning.

Chrys.

Extexam ego illum pulchre iam, si di volunt. haud dormitandumst: opus est chryso Chrysalo. 240 adibo hunc, quem quidem ego hodie faciam hic arietem Phrixi, itaque tondebo auro usque ad vivam cutem. servos salutat Nicobulum Chrysalus.

(aside) I'll unravel him handsomely now, God willing. No sleepyheadedness allowed: Chrysalus, you must be a golden chrysalis! Here's at him—the man I'll certainly make a [G]Phrixus's ram here to-day, and by the same token shear off his gold right down to the quick! (aloud, ceremoniously) Greetings,to Nicobulus from servant Chrysalus, sir.

[Footnote G: The owner of the ram with the golden fleece.]

Nic.

Pro di immortales, Chrysale, ubi mist filius?

Chrysalus! for the love of heaven where is my son?

Chrys.

Quin tu salutem primum reddis quam dedi?

(affecting pique) Why don't you return my greeting first, sir?

Nic.

Salve. sed ubinamst Mnesilochus?

How d'ye do. (more animatedly) But where on earth is Mnesilochus?

Chrys.

Vivit, valet.

Alive and well.

Nic.

Venitne?

Has he come?

Chrys.

Venit.

He has.

Nic.

Euax, aspersisti aquam. benene usque valuit?

(fervently Oh, good, good! That news is like a dash of water! Has he been well all this time?

Chrys.

Pancratice atque athletice.

In fighting trim, a perfect athlete.

Nic.

Quid hoc? qua causa eum in Ephesum miseram, accepitne aurum ab hospite Archidemide? 250

How about it? The business I sent him to Ephesus for? Did he get the gold from my friend Archidemides?

Chrys.

Heu, cor meum et cerebrum, Nicobule, finditur, istius hominis ubi fit quomque mentio. tun hospitem illum nominas hostem tuom?

(disgustedly) Ugh! My heart and head fairly split, sir, whenever I hear that fellow mentioned. Call that friend of yours fiend, won't you?

Nic.

Quid ita, obsecro hercle?

Bless my soul! Why, for heaven's sake?

Chrys.

Quia edepol certo scio, Volcanus, Luna, Sol, Dies, dei quattuor, scelestiorem nullum inluxere alterum.

Good Lord! Because I'm positive the four gods, Fire, Moon, Sun, and Day, never shone on a more abandoned villain.

Nic.

Quamne Archidemidem?

Than Archidemides?

Chrys.

Quam, inquam, Archidemidem.

Yes, than Archidemides.

Nic.

Quid fecit?

What has he done?

Chrys.

Quid non fecit? quin tu id me rogas? primumdum infitias ire coepit filio, negare se debere tibi triobolum. 260 continuo antiquom hospitem nostrum sibi Mnesilochus advocavit, Pelagonem senem; eo praesente homini extemplo ostendit symbolum. quem tute dederas, ad eum ut ferret, filio.

What hasn't he done? Why don't you ask me that? Well, in the first place he began lying to your son and disclaimed owing you a single sixpence. Immediately Mnesilochus summoned that old gentleman, Pelagon, that's been our friend so long; in his presence he promptly shows the fellow the token, the one you gave your son yourself to carry to him.

Nic.

Quid ubi ei ostendit symbolum?

(anxiously) And what when he showed him the token?

Chrys.

Infit dicere adulterinum et non eum esse symbolum. quotque innocenti ei dixit contumelias! adulterare eum aibat rebus ceteris.

(indignantly) He cries out it's a counterfeit and not the right token at all. And how he did heap insults on your innocent boy! Said he was an old hand at counterfeiting.

Nic.

Habetin aurum? id mihi dici volo.

Have you got the money? Do tell me that.

Chrys.

Postquam quidem praetor recuperatores dedit. 270 damnatus demum, vi coactus reddidit ducentos et mille Philippum.

To be sure, after the judge had appointed arbitrators, he was finally convicted, and, under compulsion, he handed over twelve hundred pounds.

Nic.

Tantum debuit.

(with a sigh of relief) That was all he owed.

Chrys.

Porro etiam ausculta pugnam quam voluit dare.

There's more still, sir,—listen how he wanted to knock us out.

Nic.

Etiamnest quid porro?

More still?

Chrys.

Em, accipitrina haec nunc erit.

Now then! (aside) This'll be a regular hawk swoop.

Nic.

Deceptus sum. Autolyco hospiti aurum credidi.

(hotly) I've been deceived! I've trusted my gold to an Autolycus[H] of a friend!

[Footnote H: A noted thief, the grandfather of Ulysses.]

Chrys.

Quin tu audi.

Come, come, listen.

Nic.

Immo ingenium avidi haud pernoram hospitis.

Ah, no, I didn't fathom his greedy soul.

Chrys.

Postquam aurum abstulimus, in navem conscendimus, domi cupientes. forte ut adsedi in stega, dum circumspecto, atque ego lembum conspicor longum. strigorem maleficum exornarier. 280

After we got the gold we embarked, eager for home. I was sitting on deck, and while I was looking around, my eye just happened to fall on a long, staunch, wicked-looking galley being fitted out for sea.

Nic.

Perii hercle, lembus ille mihi laedit latus.

Hell and fury! That galley is ramming me amidships!

Chrys.

Is erat communis cum hospite et praedonibus.

(with emphasis) It was owned between your friend and some pirates.

Nic.

Adeon me fuisse fungum, ut qui illi crederem, cum mi ipsum nomen eius Archidemides clamaret dempturum esse, si quid crederem?

(agonized) Could I have been such an imbecile as to trust the fellow when his very name, Archidemides, fairly bawled out that I'd be damned easy, if I did trust him with anything?

Chrys.

Is lembus nostrae navi insidias dabat. occepi ego observare eos quam rem gerant. interea e portu nostra navis solvitur. ubi portu eximus, homines remigio sequi, neque aves neque venti citius. quoniam sentio 290 quae res gereretur, navem extemplo statuimus. quoniam vident nos stare, occeperunt ratem tardare[10] in portu.

(warming up) This galley was lying in wait for our ship. I began to keep an eye on their operations aboard her. Meanwhile our ship weighs anchor and moves out of the harbour. When we get outside they row after us fast as a bird, fast as the wind. Now that I noticed what was up, we brought to at once. Now that they saw us lying to they began to slow down there in the harbour.

Nic.

Edepol mortalis malos. quid denique agitis?

God bless me, what rascals! What did you do then?

Chrys.

Rursum in portum recipimus.

We put back to the harbour.

Nic.

Sapienter factum a vobis. quid illi postea?

That was wise. What did they do after that?

Chrys.

Revorsionem ad terram faciunt vesperi.

Toward evening they went ashore.

Nic.

Aurum hercle auferre voluere: ei rei operam dabant.

By the Lord! They wanted to make off with the gold: that was their aim!

Chrys.

Non me fefellit, sensi, eo exanimatus fui. quoniam videmus auro insidias fieri, capimus consilium continuo; postridie 300 auferimus aurum omne illis praesentibus palam atque aperte, ut illi id factum sciscerent.

I knew that well enough: I saw through it. That drove me frantic. Now that we perceived that they had designs on the gold, we laid our plans at once; the next day we carried it all ashore publicly and openly while they were by, to let them know it was done.

Nic.

Scite hercle. cedo quid illi?

By Jove, a neat idea! Come, come, what did they do?

Chrys.

Tristes ilico, quom extemplo a portu ire nos cum auro vident, subducunt lembum capitibus quassantibus. nos apud Theotimum omne aurum deposivimus, qui illic sacerdos est Dianae Ephesiae.

Looked doleful on the spot, and as soon as they see us go away from the harbour with the gold there's a shaking of heads and they beach their galley. As for us, we deposited all the gold with Theotimus, the priest of Diana there at Ephesus.

Nic.

Quis istic Theotimust?

(suspiciously) Who is that Theotimus?

Chrys.

Megalobuli filius, qui nunc in Ephesost Ephesiis carissimus.

(reassuringly) Megalobulus's son, sir, and quite the dearest man in all Ephesus to the Ephesians.

Nic.

Ne ille hercle mihi sit multo tanto carior, 310 si me illo auro tanto circumduxerit.

Good Lord! He certainly would be a very, very much dearer man to me, if he should swindle me out of so much gold.

Chrys.

Quin in eapse aede Dianai conditumst. ibidem publicitus servant.

Oh, but it's stored in the temple of Diana itself. It's in public keeping there.

Nic.

Occidistis me; nimio hic privatim servaretur rectius. sed nilne attulistis inde auri domum?

Yes, worse luck! It would be a great deal safer in private keeping here. But you didn't bring any of it home, not any?

Chrys.

Immo etiam. verum quantum attulerit nescio.

To be sure, we did. Just how much we brought, though, I don't know.

Nic.

Quid? nescis?

What? Don't know?

Chrys.

Quia Mnesilochus noctu clanculum devenit ad Theotimum, nec mihi credere nec cuiquam in navi voluit: eo ego nescio quantillum attulerit; verum haud permultum attulit. 320

You see Mnesilochus visited Theotimus on the sly, by night, and he didn't care to confide in me or anyone else aboard: so I don't know just what trifle he did bring along; not very much, though.

Nic.

Etiam dimidium censes?

As much as half, do you think?

Chrys.

Non edepol scio; verum haud opinor.

Upon my soul, I don't know; but I don't believe so.

Nic.

Fertne partem tertiam?

A third, eh?

Chrys.

Non hercle opinor; verum verum nescio. profecto de auro nil scio nisi nescio. nunc tibimet illuc navi capiundumst iter, ut illud reportes aurum ab Theotimo domum. atque heus tu.

Bless my soul, I don t believe so; however, I don't know. In fact, all I know about the money is that I don't know. Now you'll have to make a voyage there yourself, sir, so as to get it from Theotimus and bring it back home. And, oh, I say!

Nic.

Quid vis?

Well?

Chrys.

Anulum gnati tui facito ut memineris ferre.

See you remember to take your son's ring along.

Nic.

Quid opust anulo?

Ring? What for?

Chrys.

Quia id signumst cum Theotimo, qui eum illi adferet, ei aurum ut reddat.

Because we arranged with Theotimus that he's to give the gold to the man that brings him that ring.

Nic.

Meminero, et recte mones. 330 sed divesne est istic Theotimus?

I shall remember; well you mentioned it, too. But is that Theotimus wealthy?

Chrys.

Etiam rogas? quin auro habeat soccis subpactum solum?

Wealthy, eh? Wealthy? And he with gold soles on his shoes!

Nic.

Cur ita fastidit?

What makes him so high and mighty?

Chrys.

Tantas divitias habet; nescit quid faciat auro.

He's so rich; he doesn't know what to do with gold.

Nic.

Mihi dederit velim. sed qui praesente id aurum Theotimo datumst?

(sighing) Wish he'd give it to me! But who was there when this money was given to Theotimus?

Chrys.

Populo praesente: nullust Ephesi quin sciat.

The whole population, sir: there's not a soul in Ephesus but knows about it.

Nic.

Istuc sapienter saltem fecit filius, cum diviti homini id aurum servandum dedit; ab eo licebit quamvis subito sumere.

My son showed sense in that, at any rate,—giving it to a wealthy man to keep for him. You can get it from such a man at a moment's notice.

Chrys.

Immo em tantisper numquam te morabitur 340 quin habeas illud quo die illuc veneris.

Oh no, he'll never keep you waiting, not—see here— (illustrating) not so long: he'll let you have it the day you arrive.

Nic.

Censebam me effugisse a vita marituma, ne navigarem tandem hoc aetatis senex; id mi haud, utrum velim, licere intellego: ita bellus hospes fecit Archidemides. ubi nunc est ergo meus Mnesilochus filius?

I thought I had escaped from the seafaring life, that an old man of my age might really be done with voyaging. But no choice is left me, I perceive, in this case—thanks to the tactics of my charming friend Archidemides. Where is my son Mnesilochus at present, then?

Chrys.

Deos atque amicos iit salutatum ad forum.

Gone to the forum to pay his respects to the gods and his friends.

Nic.

At ego hinc eo ad illum, ut convenam quantum potest.

Well, I shall go and try to find him as soon as possible. [EXIT TO FORUM.

Chrys.

Ille est oneratus recte et plus iusto vehit. exorsa haec tela non male omnino mihi est: 350 ut amantem erilem copem facerem filium, ita feci, ut auri quantum vellet sumeret, quantum autem lubeat reddere ut reddat patri.

(gleefully) He's nicely freighted, he is, in fact, overfreighted. Not a half bad sort of web I've woven here! To set up the young master in funds for his love affair, I've fixed things so that he can take as much of the gold as he wants himself, yes, and pass on to his father as much as he likes to pass on.

senex in Ephesum ibit aurum arcessere, hic nostra agetur aetas in malacum modum, siquidem hic relinquet neque secum abducet senex med et Mnesilochum. quas ego hic turbas dabo! sed quid futurumst, cum hoc senex resciverit, cum se excucurisse illuc frustra sciverit nosque aurum abusos? quid mihi fiet postea? 360

The old man will go to Ephesus to fetch the gold and we'll be living a downy life of it here, that is, if the old chap leaves us here and doesn't drag me and Mnesilochus along with him. Oh, won't I turn things upside down here! (pauses) But what'll happen when the old man discovers it? When he finds out he's gone on a wild goose chase and we've used up the cash? What will happen to me then?

credo hercle adveniens nomen mutabit mihi facietque extemplo Crucisalum me ex Chrysalo. aufugero hercle, si magis usus venerit. si ero reprehensus, macto ego ilium infortunio: si illi sunt virgae ruri, at mihi tergum domist. nunc ibo, erili filio hanc fabricam dabo super auro amicaque eius inventa Bacchide.

Gad! I suppose he'll change my name for me the minute he gets back, and transform me from Chrysalus to Crossalus on the spot. Oh, well, I'll run for it, if it looks advisable. If I am caught, he'll have his fill of discomfort: if he's got rods on the farm, well, I've got a back on my person. Now I'll be off and let the young master know about this gold trick and his mistress Bacchis being found. [EXIT Chrysalus.



ACTVS III

ACT III

Lydus

Pandite atque aperite propere ianuam hanc Orci, obsecro.

(wildly, inside Bacchis's house) Quick, quick, open up, I beseech you, unclose this door of hell! ENTER Lydus HURRIEDLY.

nam equidem haud aliter esse duco, quippe quo nemo advenit, nisi quem spes reliquere omnes, esse ut frugi possiet. 370 Bacchides non Bacchides, sed bacchae sunt acerrumae. apage istas a me sorores, quae hominum sorbent sanguinem. omnis ad perniciem instructa domus opime atque opipare— quae ut aspexi, me continuo contuli protinam in pedes.

For I verily believe it is nothing else, a place where no man enters save him who has lost all hopes of his capacity for good. Bacchises! No Bacchises these, but the wildest of Bacchantes. Avaunt, avaunt, ye sisters who suck the blood of men! Their whole abode is tricked out as a gilded, gorgeous lure to ruin—as soon as I perceived the nature of my surroundings I fled, fled forthwith.

egone ut haec conclusa gestem clanculum? ut celem patrem, Pistoclere, tua flagitia aut damna aut desidiabula?[11] (376) neque mei neque te tui intus puditumst factis quae facis, (379) quibus tuom patrem meque una, amicos, adfinis tuos 380 tua infamia fecisti gerulifigulos flagiti.[12] de me hanc culpam demolibor iam et seni faciam palam, (383) ut eum ex lutulento caeno propere hinc eliciat foras.

(violently to those within) Am I the man to carry this shut up within me, to keep it secret? To conceal from your father, Pistoclerus, your enormities, your extravagances, your horrid resorts?[11] Neither in my sight, nor your own, did you feel any shame at your actions, actions, you infamous creature, that make your father, and me too, and your friends and relatives accessories to your disgrace. (making off) I am going to clear myself of blame in the matter this very minute and inform his poor old father of it all, so that he may hurry and draw him forth from this filthy slough.

III. 2.

Scene 2.

ENTER Mnesilochus, FOLLOWED AT SOME DISTANCE BY SLAVES CARRYING HIS LUGGAGE.

Mnes.

Multimodis meditatus egomet mecum sum, et ita esse arbitror homini amico, qui est amicus ita uti nomen possidet, nisi deos ei nil praestare, id opera expertus sum esse ita nam ut in Ephesum hinc abii—hoc factumst ferme abhinc biennium— ex Epheso huc ad Pistoclerum meum sodalem litteras misi, amicam ut mi inveniret Bacchidem. illum intellego 390 invenisse, ut servos meus mi nuntiavit Chrysalus.