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IMAGINATION.
Lo, now my heart is glad and merry; For joy now let us sing "Derry, derry."
HICKSCORNER.
Fellows, they shall never more us withstand; For I see them all drowned in the Rase of Ireland.
FREEWILL.
Yea, but yet hark, Hickscorner, What company was in your ship, that came over?
HICKSCORNER.
Sir, I will aid[130] you to understand, There were good fellows above five thousand, And all they been kin to us three: There was falsehood, favell,[131] and jollity, Yea, thieves, and whores, with other good company, Liars, backbiters, and flatterers the while, Brawlers, liars, jetters, and chiders, Walkers by night, with great murderers, Overthwart guile[rs] and jolly carders, Oppressors of people, with many swearers, There was false law with horrible vengeance, Froward obstination with mischievous governance, Wanton wenches, and also michers, With many other of the devil's officers; And hatred, that is so mighty and strong, Hath made a vow for ever to dwell in England.
IMAGINATION.
But is that true, that thou dost show now?
HICKSCORNER.
Sir, every word as I do tell you.
FREEWILL.
Of whence is your ship? of London?
HICKSCORNER.
Yea, i-wis from thence did she come; And she is named The Envy, I tell you, a great vessel and a mighty: The owner of her is called Ill-Will, Brother to Jack Poller of Shooter's-Hill.
IMAGINATION.
Sir, what office in the ship bare ye?
HICKSCORNER.
Marry, I kept a fair shop of bawdry, I had three wenches that were full praty, Jane true and thriftless, and wanton Sybil, If you ride her a journey, she will make you weary, For she is trusty at need: If ye will hire her for your pleasure, I warrant, tire her shall ye never, She is so sure in deed; Ride, and you will, ten times a-day, I warrant you she will never say nay, My life I dare lay to wed.[132]
IMAGINATION.
Now pluck up your hearts, and make good cheer; These tidings liketh me wonder well, Now virtue shall draw arear arear: Hark, fellows, a good sport I can you tell, At the stews we will lie to-night, And by my troth, if all go right, I will beguile some praty wench, To get me money at a pinch. How say you? shall we go thither? Let us keep company altogether, And I would that we had God's curse, If we somewhere do not get a purse; Every man bear his dagger naked in his hand, And if we meet a true man, make him stand, Or else that he bear a stripe; If that he struggle, and make any work, Lightly strike him to the heart, And throw him into Thames quite.
FREEWILL.
Nay, three knaves in a leash is good at nale:[133] But thou lubber Imagination, That cuckold thy father, where is he become? At Newgate doth he lie still at jail?
IMAGINATION.
Avaunt, whoreson, thou shalt bear me a stripe; Say'st thou, that my mother was a whore?
FREEWILL.
Nay, sir, but the last night I saw Sir John and she tumbled on the floor.
IMAGINATION.
Now, by Cock's heart, thou shalt lose an arm.
HICKSCORNER.
Nay, sir, I charge you do him no harm.
IMAGINATION.
And thou make too much, I will break thy head too.
HICKSCORNER.
By Saint Mary, and I wist that, I would be ago.
IMAGINATION.
Aware, aware! the whoreson shall aby, His priest will I be, by Cock's body.
HICKSCORNER.
Keep peace, lest knaves' blood be shed.
FREEWILL.
By God, if his was nought, mine was as bad.
IMAGINATION.
By Cock's heart, he shall die on this dagger.
HICKSCORNER.
By our Lady, then will ye be strangled in a halter.
IMAGINATION.
The whoreson shall eat him,[134] as far as he shall wade.
HICKSCORNER.
Beshrew your heart, and put up your blade, Sheathe your whittle, or by Jis,[135] that was never born, I will rap you on the costard with my horn; What, will ye play all the knave?
IMAGINATION.
By Cock's heart, and thou a buffet shalt have.
FREEWILL.
Lo, sirs, here is a fair company, God us save; For if any of us three be mayor of London, I-wis, i-wis, I will ride to Rome on my thumb: Alas! ah, see; is not this a great feres? I would they were in a mill-pool above the ears; And then I durst warrant, they would depart anon.
HICKSCORNER.
Help, help, for the passion of my soul; He hath made a great hole in my poll, That all my wit is set to the ground: Alas! a leech for to help my wound.
IMAGINATION.
Nay, i-wis, whoreson, I will bite thee, ere I go.
FREEWILL.
Alas! good sir, what have I do?
IMAGINATION.
Ware, make room, he shall have a stripe, I trow.
PITY.
Peace, peace, sirs, I command you.
IMAGINATION.
Avaunt, old churl; whence comest thou? And thou make too much, I shall break thy brow, And send thee home again.
PITY.
Ah, good sir, the peace I would have kept fain; Mine office is to see no man slain; And where they do amiss, to give them good counsel, Sin to forsake, and God's law them tell.
IMAGINATION.
Ah, sir, I ween'd thou hadst been drowned and gone: But I have spied, that there scaped one.
HICKSCORNER.
Imagination, do by the counsel of me, Be agreed with Freewill, and let us good fellows be; And then, as for this churl Pity, Shall curse the time that ever he came to land.
IMAGINATION.
Brother Freewill, give me your hand, And all mine ill will I forgive thee.
FREEWILL.
Sir, I thank you heartily; But what shall we do with this churl Pity?
IMAGINATION.
I will go to him, and pick a quarrel, And make him a thief, and say he did steal Of mine forty pound in a bag.
FREEWILL.
By God, that tidings will make him sad; And I will go fetch a pair of gyves, For in good faith he shall be set fast by the heels.
HICKSCORNER.
Have ado lightly, and be gone, And let us twain with him alone.
FREEWILL.
Now, farewell, I beshrew you everychone.
HICKSCORNER.
Ho, ho, Freewill you threw, and no mo.
IMAGINATION.
Thou lewd fellow, say'st thou that thy name is Pity? Who sent thee hither to control me?
PITY.
Good sir, it is my property For to despise sinful living, And unto virtue men to bring, If that they will do after me.
IMAGINATION.
What, sir, art thou so pure holy? Ah, see, this caitiff would be praised, I trow; And you thrive this year, I will lose a penny. Lo, sirs, outward he beareth a fair face; But, and he meet with a wench in a privy place, I trow he would show her but little grace: By God, ye may trust me.
HICKSCORNER.
Lo, will ye not see this caitiff's meaning? He would destroy us all, and all our kin, Yet had I liever see him hanged by the chin, Rather than that should be brought about; And with this dagger thou shalt have a clout, Without thou wilt be lightly be gone.
IMAGINATION.
Nay, brother, lay hand on him soon; For he japed my wife, and made me cuckold, And yet the traitor was so bold, That he stale forty pound of mine in money.
HICKSCORNER.
By Saint Mary, then he shall not scape; We will lead him straight to Newgate, For ever there shall he lie.
FREEWILL.
Ah, see, ah, see, sirs, what I have brought, A medicine for a pair of sore shins; At the King's Bench, sirs, I have you sought, But I pray you, who shall wear these?
HICKSCORNER.
By God, this fellow that may not go hence, I will go give him these hose rings; Now, i-faith, they be worth forty pence, But to his hands I lack two bonds.
IMAGINATION.
Hold, whoreson, here is an halter; Bind him fast, and make him sure.
PITY.
O men, let truth, that is the true man, Be your guider, or else ye be forlorn; Lay no false witness, as nigh as ye can, On none; for afterward ye will repent it full sore.
FREEWILL.
Nay, nay, I care not therefore.
HICKSCORNER.
Yea, when my soul hangeth on the hedge-cast stones, For I tell thee plainly by Cock's bones, Thou shalt be guided, and laid in irons, They fared even so.
PITY.
Well-a-way,[136] sir, what have I do?
IMAGINATION.
Well, well, that thou shalt know, ere thou go.
PITY.
O sirs, I see it cannot be amended, You do me wrong, for I have not offended: Remember God that is our heaven king, For he will reward you after your deserving; When death with his mace doth you arrest; We all to him owe fea'ty and service, From the ladder of life down he will thee thrust, Then mastership may not help, nor great office.
FREEWILL.
What, death, and he were here, he should sit by thee; Trowest thou, that he be able to strive with us three? Nay, nay, nay.
IMAGINATION.
Well, fellows, now let us go our way; For at Shooter's Hill we have a game to play.
HICKSCORNER.
In good faith, I will tarry no lenger space.
FREEWILL.
Beshrew him for me, that is last out of this place.
PITY.
Lo, Lords, they may curse the time they were born, For the weeds that overgroweth the corn, They troubled me guiltless, and wote not why, For God's love yet will I suffer patiently: We all may say well-a-way, for sin that is now-a-day. Lo, virtue is vanished for ever and aye; Worse was it never.[137] We have plenty of great oaths, And cloth enough in our clothes, But charity many men loathes, Worse was it never. Alas, now is lechery called love indeed, And murder named manhood in every need, Extortion is called law, so God me speed; Worse was it never. Youth walketh by night with swords and knives, And ever among true men leseth their lives, Like heretics we occupy other men's wives, Now-a-days in England: Bawds be the destroyers of many young women, And full lewd counsel they give unto them; How you do marry, beware, you young men, The wise never tarrieth too long; There be many great scorners, But for sin there be few mourners; We have but few true lovers In no place now-a-days; There be many goodly-gilt knaves, And I know, as many apparelled wives, Yet many of them be unthrifty of their lives, And all set in pride to go gay. Mayors on sin doeth no correction, While[138] gentle men beareth truth adown; Avoutry[139] is suffered in every town, Amendment is there none, And God's commandments we break them all ten. Devotion is gone many days sin.[140] Let us amend us we true Christian men, Ere death make you groan. Courtiers go gay, and take little wages, And many with harlots at the tavern haunts, They be yeomen of the wreath that be shackled in gyves; On themselves they have no pity: God punisheth full sore with great sickness, As pox, pestilence, purple, and axes, Some dieth suddenly that death full perilous, Yet was there never so great poverty. There be some sermons made by noble doctors; But truly the fiend doth stop men's ears, For God nor good man some people not fears; Worse was it never. All truth is not best said, And our preachers now-a-days be half afraid: When we do amend, God would be well apaid; Worse was it never.
CONTEMPLATION.
What, Master Pity, how is it with you?
PERSEVERANCE.
Sir, we be sorry to see you in this case now.
PITY.
Brethren, here were three perilous men, Freewill, Hickscorner, and Imagination; They said, I was a thief, and laid felony upon me, And bound me in irons, as ye may see.
CONTEMPLATION.
Where be the traitors become now?
PITY.
In good faith, I cannot show you.
PERSEVERANCE.
Brother, let us unbind him of his bonds.
CONTEMPLATION.
Unloose the feet and the hands.
PITY.
I thank you for your great kindness, That you two show in this distress; For they were men without any mercy, That delighteth all in mischief and tyranny.
PERSEVERANCE.
I think, they will come hither again, Freewill and Imagination, both twain: Them will I exhort to virtuous living, And unto virtue them to bring, By the help of you, Contemplation.
CONTEMPLATION.
Do my counsel, brother Pity; Go you, and seek them through the country, In village, town, borough, and city, Throughout all the realm of England: When you them meet, lightly them arrest, And in prison put them fast, Bind them sure in irons strong; For they be so fast and subtle; That they will you beguile, And do true men wrong.
PERSEVERANCE.
Brother Pity, do as he hath said, In every quarter look you espy, And let good watch for them be laid, In all the haste that thou can, and that privily; For, and they come hither, they shall not scape, For all the craft that they can make.
PITY.
Well, then will I hie me as fast as I may, And travel through every country; Good watch shall be laid in every way, That they steal not into sanctuary. Now farewell, brethren, and pray for me; For I must go hence in deed.
PERSEVERANCE.
Now God be your good speed.
CONTEMPLATION.
And ever you defend, when you have need.
PITY.
Now, brethren both, I thank you.
FREEWILL.
Make you room for a gentleman, sirs, and peace; "Dieu garde, seigneurs, tout le preasse,"[141] And of your jangling if ye will cease, I will tell you where I have been: Sirs, I was at the tavern, and drank wine, Methought I saw a piece that was like mine, And, sir, all my fingers were arrayed[142] with lime, So I conveyed a cup mannerly: And yet, i-wis, I played all the fool, For there was a scholar of mine own school; And, sir, the whoreson espied me. Then was I 'rested, and brought in prison; For woe then I wist not what to have done, And all because I lacked money, But a friend in court is worth a penny in purse:[143] For Imagination, mine own fellow, i-wis, He did help me out full craftily. Sirs, he walked through Holborn, Three hours after the sun was down, And walked up towards Saint Giles-in-the-Field: He hoved still, and there beheld, But there he could not speed of his prey, And straight to Ludgate he took the way; Ye wot well, that pothecaries walk very late, He came to a door and privily spake To a prentice for a penny-worth of euphorbium,[144] And also for a halfpenny-worth of alum plumb; This good servant served him shortly, And said, is there ought else that you would buy? Then he asked for a mouthful of quick brimstone;[145] And down into the cellar, when the servant was gone, Aside as he kest[146] his eye, A great bag of money did he spy, Therein was an hundred pound: He trussed him to his feet, and yede his way round, He was lodged at Newgate at the Swan, And every man took him for a gentleman; So on the morrow he delivered me Out of Newgate by this policy: And now will I dance and make royal cheer. But I would Imagination were here, For he is peerless at need; Labour to him, sirs, if ye will your matters speed. Now will I sing, and lustily spring; But when my fetters on my legs did ring, I was not glad, perde; but now Hey, troly, loly, Let us see who can descant on this same; To laugh and get money, it were a good game, What, whom have we here? A priest, a doctor, or else a frere. What, Master Doctor Dotypoll? Cannot you preach well in a black boll, Or dispute any divinity? If ye be cunning, I will put it in a prefe:[147] Good sir, why do men eat mustard with beef? By question can you assoil me?
PERSEVERANCE.
Peace, man, thou talkest lewdly, And of thy living, I reed,[148] amend thee.
FREEWILL.
Avaunt, caitiff, dost thou thou me! I am come of good kin, I tell thee! My mother was a lady of the stews' blood born, And (knight of the halter) my father ware an horn; Therefore I take it in full great scorn, That thou shouldest thus check me.
CONTEMPLATION.
Abide, fellow, thou hast little courtesy, Thou shalt be charmed, ere thou hence pass, For thou troubled Pity, and laid on him felony: Where is Imagination, thy fellow that was?
FREEWILL.
I defy you both; will you arrest me?
PERSEVERANCE.
Nay, nay; thy great words may not help thee, Fro us thou shalt not escape.
FREEWILL.
Make room, sirs, that I may break his pate; I will not be taken for them both.
CONTEMPLATION.
Thou shalt abide, whether thou be lief or loth; Therefore, good son, listen unto me, And mark these words that I do tell thee: Thou hast followed thine own will many a day, And lived in sin without amendment; Therefore in thy conceit essay To axe God mercy, and keep His commandment, Then on thee He wilt have pity, And bring thee to heaven that joyful city.
FREEWILL.
What, whoreson? Will ye have me now a fool? Nay, yet had I liever be captain of Calais; For, and I should do after your school, To learn to patter to make me peevish, Yet had I liever look with a face full thievish: And therefore, prate no lenger here, Lest my knave's fist hit you under the ear. What, ye daws, would ye reed me For to lese my pleasure in youth and jollity, To bass and kiss my sweet trully mully, As Jane, Kate, Bess, and Sybil? I would that hell were full of such prims, Then would I renne thither on my pins, As fast as I might go.
PERSEVERANCE.
Why, sir, wilt thou not love virtue, And forsake thy sin for the love of God Almighty?
FREEWILL.
What God Almighty, by God's fast at Salisbury, And I trow Easter-day fell on Whitsunday that year, There were five score save an hundred in my company, And at petty Judas we made royal cheer, There had we good ale of Michaelmas brewing; There heaven-high leaping and springing, And thus did I Leap out of Bordeaux unto Canterbury, Almost ten mile between.
CONTEMPLATION.
Freewill, forsake all this world wilfully here, And change by time; thou oughtest to stand in fear; For fortune will turn her wheel so swift, That clean fro thy wealth she will thee lift.
FREEWILL.
What, lift me, who? and Imagination were here now, I-wis with his fist he would all-to clout you: Hence, whoreson, tarry no lenger here; For by Saint Pintle the apostle I swear, That I will drive you both home, And yet I was never wont to fight alone: Alas, that I had not one to bold[149] me, Then you should see me play the man shamefully; Alas, it would do me good to fight; How say you, lords, shall I smite? Have among you, by this light: Hence, whoresons, and home at once, Or with my weapon I shall break your bones. Avaunt, you knave: walk, by my counsel.
PERSEVERANCE.
Son, remember the great pains of hell, They are so horrible that no tongue can tell; Beware, lest thou thither do go.
FREEWILL.
Nay, by Saint Mary, I hope not so; I will not go to the devil, while I have my liberty, He shall take the labour to fet me, and he will have me; For he that will go to hell by his will voluntarily, The devil and the whirlwind go with him: I will you never fro thence tidings bring; Go you before, and show me the way, And as to follow you I will not say nay: For, by God's body, and you be in once, By the mass, I will shit[150] the door at once, And then ye be take in a pitfall.
CONTEMPLATION.
Now, Jesus, soon defend us from that hole, For, "Qui est in inferno nulla est redemptio:" Holy Job spake these words full long ago.
FREEWILL.
Nay, I have done; and you laid out Latin with scope, But therewith can you clout me a pair of boots?[151] By our lady, ye should have some work of me, I would have them well underlaid and easily, For I use alway to go on the one side; And trow ye how? by God, in the stocks I sat till, I trow a three weeks, and more a little stound, And there I laboured sore day by day, And so I tread my shone inward in good fay; Lo, therefore methink you must sole them round. If you have any new boots, a pair I would buy, But I think your price be too high. Sir, once at Newgate I bought a pair of stirrups,[152] A mighty pair and a strong, A whole year I ware them so long, But they came not fully to my knee, And to clout them it cost not me a penny: Even now, and ye go thither, ye shall find a great heap, And you speak in my name, ye shall have good cheap.
PERSEVERANCE.
Sir, we came never there, ne never shall do.
FREEWILL.
Marry, I was taken in a trap there, and tied by the toe, That I halted a great while, and might not go. I would ye both sat as fast there; Then should ye dance as a bear, And all by gangling of your chains.
CONTEMPLATION.
Why, sir, were ye there?
FREEWILL.
Yea, and that is seen by my brains; For, ere I came there, I was as wise as a woodcock, And, I thank God, as witty as a haddock. Yet I trust to recover, as other does, For, and I had once as much wit as a goose, I should be merchant of the bank; Of gold then I should have many a frank, For if I might make three good voyages to Shooter's Hill,[153] And have wind and weather at my will, Then would I never travel the sea more: But it is hard to keep the ship fro the shore, And if it hap to rise a storm, Then thrown in a raft, and so about borne On rocks or brachs[154] for to run, Else to strike aground at Tyburn, That were a mischievous case, For that rock of Tyburn is so perilous a place, Young gallants dare not venture into Kent; But when their money is gone and spent, With their long boots they row on the bay,[155] And any man of war[156] lie by the way, They must take a boat and throw the helm ale;[157] And full hard it is to scape that great jeopardy, For, at Saint Thomas of Watering and they strike a sail, Then must they ride in the haven of hemp without fail; And were not these two jeopardous places indeed, There is many a merchant that thither would speed: But yet we have a sure channel at Westminster, A thousand ships of thieves therein may ride sure; For if they may have anchor-hold and great spending, They may live as merry as any king.
PERSEVERANCE.
God wot, sir, there is a piteous living, Then ye dread not the great Master above: Son, forsake thy miss[158] for His love, And then mayst thou come to the bliss also.
FREEWILL.
Why, what would you that I should do?
CONTEMPLATION.
For to go toward heaven.
FREEWILL.
Marry, and you will me thither bring, I would do after you.[159]
PERSEVERANCE.
I pray you, remember my words now: Freewill, bethink thee that thou shalt die, And of the hour thou are uncertain, Yet by thy life thou mayest find a remedy; For, and thou die in sin, all labour is in vain, Then shall thy soul be still in pain. Lost and damned for evermore; Help is past, though thou would fain, Then thou wilt curse the time that thou were bore.
FREEWILL.
Sir, if ye will undertake that I saved shall be, I will do all the penance that you will set me.
CONTEMPLATION.
If that thou for thy sins he sorry, Our Lord will forgive thee them.
FREEWILL.
Now of all my sins I axe God mercy; Here I forsake sin, and trust to amend: I beseech Jesu that is most mighty To forgive all that I have offend.
PERSEVERANCE.
Our Lord now will show thee His mercy, A new name thou need none have; For all that will to heaven high, By his own freewill he must forsake folly, Then is he sure and safe.
CONTEMPLATION.
Hold here a new garment, And hereafter live devoutly, And for thy sins do ever repent: Sorrow for thy sins is very remedy: And, Freewill, ever to virtue apply, Also to sadness[160] give ye attendance, Let him never out of remembrance.
FREEWILL.
I will never from you, sir Perseverance; With you will I abide both day and night, Of mind never to be variable, And God's commandments to keep them right, In deed and word, and ever full stable.
PERSEVERANCE.
Then heaven thou shalt have without fable, But look that thou be steadfast, And let thy mind with good will last.
IMAGINATION.
Huff, huff, huff! who sent after me? I am Imagination, full of jollity, Lord, that my heart is light,[161] When shall I perish? I trow, never; By Christ, I reck not a feather: Even now I was dubbed a knight, Where at Tyburn of the collar, And of the stews I am made controller— Of all the houses of lechery; There shall no man play doccy[162] there, At the Bell, Hartshorn, ne elsewhere, Without they have leave of me. But, sirs, wot ye why I am come hither? By our lady, to gather good company together: Saw ye not of my fellow Freewill? I am afraid lest he be searching on a hill; By God, then one of us is beguiled. What fellow is this that in this coat is filed? Cock's death, whom have we here? What, Freewill, mine own fere?[163] Art thou out of thy mind?
FREEWILL.
God grant the way to heaven that I may find; For I forsake thy company.
IMAGINATION.
God's arms, my company? and why?
FREEWILL.
For thou livest too sinfully.
IMAGINATION.
Alas, tell me how it is with thee.
FREEWILL.
Forsake thy sin for the love of me.
IMAGINATION.
Cock's heart, art thou waxed mad?
FREEWILL.
When I think on my sin, it makes me full sad.
IMAGINATION.
God's wounds, who gave thee that counsel?
FREEWILL.
Perseverance and Contemplation, I thee tell.
IMAGINATION.
A vengeance on them, I would they were in hell.
FREEWILL.
Amend, Imagination, and mercy cry.
IMAGINATION.
By God's sides, I had liever be hanged on high; Nay, that would I not do: I had liever die. By God's passion, and I had a long knife, I would bereave these two whoresons of their life: How, how? twenty pounds for a dagger!
CONTEMPLATION.
Peace, peace, good son, and speak softer, And amend, ere death draw his draught; For on thee he will steal full soft, He giveth never no man warning, And ever to thee he is coming: Therefore remember thee well.
IMAGINATION.
Ah, whoreson, if I were jailer of hell, I-wis, some sorrow should thou feel; For to the devil I would thee sell, Then should ye have many a sorry meal, I would never give you meat ne drink, Ye should fast, whoresons, till ye did stink, Even as a rotten dog; yea, by Saint Tyburn of Kent.
PERSEVERANCE.
Imagination, think what God did for thee; On Good Friday He hanged on a tree, And spent all His precious blood, A spear did rive His heart asunder, The gates He brake up with a clap of thunder, And Adam and Eve there delivered He.
IMAGINATION.
What devil! what is that to me? By God's fast, I was ten year in Newgate, And many more fellows with me sat, Yet he never came there to help me ne my company.
CONTEMPLATION.
Yes, he holp thee, or thou haddest not been here now.
IMAGINATION.
By the mass, I cannot show you, For he and I never drank together, Yet I know many an ale stake;[164] Neither at the stews, i-wis, he never came thither: Goeth he arrayed in white or in black? For, and he out of prison had holp me, I know well once I should him see, What gown weareth he, I pray you?
PERSEVERANCE.
Sir, he halp you out by his might.
IMAGINATION.
I cannot tell you, by this light; But methought that I lay there too long, And the whoreson fetters were so strong, That had almost brought my neck out of joint.
PERSEVERANCE.
Amend, son, and thou shall know him, That delivered thee out of prison; And if thou wilt forsake thy miss, Surely thou shalt come to the bliss, And be inheritor of heaven.
IMAGINATION.
What, sir, above the moon? Nay, by the mass, then should I fall soon; Yet I keep not to climb so high; But to climb for a bird's nest, There is none between east and west, That dare thereto venter better than I: But to venter to heaven—what, and my feet slip? I know well then I should break my neck, And, by God, then had I the worse side; Yet had I liever be by the nose tied In a wench's arse somewhere, Rather than I would stand in that great fear, For to go up to heaven—nay, I pray you, let be.
FREEWILL.
Imagination, wilt thou do by the counsel of me?
IMAGINATION.
Yea, sir, by my troth, whatsomever it be.
FREEWILL.
Amend yet for my sake, It is better betime than too late; How say you? will you God's hests fulfil?
IMAGINATION.
I will do, sir, even as you will; But, I pray you, let me have a new coat, When I have need, and in my purse a groat, Then will I dwell with you still.
FREEWILL.
Beware, for when thou art buried in the ground, Few friends for thee will be found, Remember this still.
IMAGINATION.
No thing dread I so sore as death, Therefore to amend I think it be time; Sin have I used all the days of my breath, With pleasure, lechery, and misusing,[165] And spent amiss my five wits; therefore I am sorry: Here of all my sins I axe God mercy.
PERSEVERANCE.
Hold, here is a better clothing for thee, And look that thou forsake thy folly; Be steadfast, look that thou fall never.
IMAGINATION.
Now here I forsake my sin for ever.
FREEWILL.
Sir, wait thou now on Perseverance, For thy name shall be called Good Remembrance; And I will dwell with Contemplation, And follow him wherever he become.
CONTEMPLATION.
Well, are ye so both agreed?
IMAGINATION.
Yea, sir, so God me speed.
PERSEVERANCE.
Sir, ye shall wait on me soon, And be God's servant day and night, And in every place where ye become, Give good counsel to every wight: And men axe your name, tell you Remembrance, That God's law keepeth truly every day; And look that ye forget not repentance, Then to heaven ye shall go the next[166] way, Where ye shall see in the heavenly quere The blessed company of saints so holy, That lived devoutly while they were here: Unto the which bliss I beseech God Almighty To bring there your souls that here be present, And unto virtuous living that ye may apply, Truly for to keep His commandments; Of all our mirths here we make an end, Unto the bliss of heaven Jesus your souls bring.[167]
AMEN.
THE PARDONER AND THE FRIAR.
A mery Play between the Pardoner and the frere, the curate and neybour Pratte. [Col.] Imprynted by Wyllyam Rastell, the v. day of Apryll, the yere of our lorde m.ccccc.xxxiii. Small folio.
This piece by John Heywood differs from those which have preceded it. It is destitute of the allegorical element, and like some other productions which are to follow, is a mere dramatic interlocution, lightly and inartificially constructed, with little or no plot. A former editor[168] remarks: "It was printed in 1533, but must have been written before 1521, because Leo X. is spoken of in it as living."
THE PARDONER AND THE FRIAR.
THE FRIAR.
Deus hic, the Holy Trinity, Preserve all that now here be! Dear brethren, if ye will consider The cause, why I am come hither, Ye would be glad to know my intent: For I come not hither for money nor for rent, I come not hither for meat nor for meal, But I come hither for your soul's heal: I come not hither to poll nor to shave, I come not hither to beg nor to crave, I come not hither to gloss nor to flatter, I come not hither to babble nor to clatter, I come not hither to fable nor to lie, But I come hither your souls to edify. For we friars are bound the people to teach, The gospel of Christ openly to preach, As did the apostles by Christ their master sent, To turn the people and make them to repent. But since the apostles from heaven would not come, We friars now must occupy their room. We friars are bound to search men's conscience, We may not care for groats nor for pence, We friars have professed wilful poverty, No penny in our purse have may we; Knife nor staff may we none carry, Except we should from the gospel vary. For worldly adversity may we be in no sorrow, We may not care to-day for our meat to-morrow, Barefoot and barelegged must we go also: We may not care for frost nor snow; We may have no manner care, ne think Nother for our meat nor for our drink; But let our thoughts fro such things be as free As be the birds that in the air flee. For why our Lord, cleped sweet Jesus, In the gospel speaketh to us thus: Through all the world go ye, saith He, And to every creature speak ye of me; And show of my doctrine and cunning, And that they may be glad of your coming. If that you enter in any house anywhere, Look that ye salute them, and bid my peace be there; And if that house be worthy and elect, Th'ilk peace there then shall take effect; And if that house be cursed or pervert, Th'ilk peace then shall to yourself revert. And furthermore, if any such there be, Which do deny for to receive ye, And do despise your doctrine and your lore, At such a house tarry ye no more; And from your shoes scrape away the dust To their reprefe; and I, both true and just, Shall vengeance take of their sinful deed. Wherefore, my friends, to this text take ye heed: Beware how ye despise the poor freres, Which are in this world Christ's ministers; But do them with an hearty cheer receive, Lest they happen your houses for to leave; And then God will take vengeance in His ire. Wherefore I now, that am a poor friar, Did inquire where any people were Which were disposed the Word of God to hear; And as I came hither, one did me tell That in this town right good folk did dwell, Which to hear the Word of God would be glad; And as soon as I thereof knowledge had, I hither hied me as fast as I might, Intended by the grace of God Almighty, And by your patience and supportation, Here to make a simple collation; Wherefore I require all ye in this prese[nce] For to abide and give due audience. But, first of all, Now here I shall To God my prayer make, To give ye grace All in this place His doctrine for to take.
[And then kneeleth down the friar saying his prayers, and in the meanwhile entereth the pardoner with all his relics, to declare what each of them been, and the whole power and virtue thereof.
THE PARDONER.
God and Saint Leonard send ye all his grace, As many as been assembled in this place! Good devout people that here do assemble, I pray God that ye may all well resemble The image after which you are wrought, And that ye save that Christ in you bought. Devout Christian people, ye shall all wit, That I am comen hither ye to visit; Wherefore let us pray thus, ere I begin: Our Saviour preserve ye all from sin, And enable ye to receive this blessed pardon, Which is the greatest under the sun: Granted by the Pope in his bulls under lead, Which pardon ye shall find, when ye are dead; That offereth outher groats or else pence, To these holy relics which, ere I go hence, I shall here show in open audience, Exhorting ye all to do to them reverence. But first ye shall know well that I come from Rome; Lo, here my bulls, all and some: Our liege Lord seal here on my patent I bear with me my body to warrant; That no man be so bold, be he priest or clerk, Me to disturb of Christ's holy wark; Nor have no disdain nor yet scorn Of these holy relics which saints have worn. First here I show ye of a holy Jew's hip[169] A bone—I pray you, take good keep To my words and mark them well: If any of your beasts' bellies do swell, Dip this bone in the water that he doth take Into his body, and the swelling shall slake; And if any worm have your beasts stung, Take of this water, and wash his tongue, And it will be whole anon; and furthermore Of pox and scabs, and every sore, He shall be quite whole that drinketh of the well That this bone is dipped in: it is truth that I tell And if any man, that any beast oweth,[170] Once in the week, ere that the cock croweth, Fasting will drink of this well a draught, As that holy Jew hath us taught, His beasts and his stores shall multiply. And, masters all, it helpeth well, Though a man be foul in jealous rage, Let a man with this water make his pottage, And never more shall he his wife mistrist,[171] Though he in sooth the fault by her wist, Or had she been taken with friars two or three. Here is a mitten eke, as ye may see: He that his hand will put in this mitten, He shall have increase of his grain, That he hath sown, be it wheat or oats, So that he offer pence or else groats, And another holy relic eke here see ye may: The blessed arm of sweet Saint Sunday; And whosoever is blessed with this right hand, Cannot speed amiss by sea nor by land. And if he offereth eke with good devotion, He shall not fail to come to high promotion, And another holy relic here may ye see: The great toe of the Holy Trinity; And whosoever once doth it in his mouth take, He shall never be diseased with the toothache; Cancer nor pox shall there none breed: This that I show ye is matter indeed. And here is of our lady a relic full good: Her bongrace which she ware, with her French hood, When she went out always for sun-burning: Women with child which be in mourning By virtue thereof shall be soon eased, And of their travail full soon also released, And if this bongrace they do devoutly kiss, And offer thereto, as their devotion is. Here is another relic eke, a precious one, Of All-Hallows the blessed jaw bone, Which relic without any fail Against poison chiefly doth prevail; For whomsoever it toucheth without doubt, All manner venom from him shall issue out; So that it shall hurt no manner wight. Lo, of this relic the great power and might, Which preserveth from poison every man! Lo, of Saint Michael eke the brain-pan, Which for the headache is a preservative To every man or beast that beareth life; And further it shall stand him in better stead, For his head shall never ache, when that he is dead, Nor he shall feel no manner grief nor pain, Though with a sword one cleave it then a-twain; But be as one that lay in a dead sleep. Wherefore to these relics now come crouch and creep, But look that ye offering to them make, Or else can ye no manner profit take. But one thing, ye women all, I warrant you: If any wight be in this place now, That hath done sin so horrible, that she Dare not for shame thereof shriven be, Or any woman, be she young or old, That hath made her husband cuckold: Such folk shall have no power nor no grace To offer to my relics in this place; And whoso findeth herself out of such blame, Come hither to me, on Christ's holy name. And because ye Shall unto me Give credence at the full Mine auctority Now shall ye see Lo, here the Pope's bull!
[Now shall the friar begin his sermon, and even at the same time the pardoner beginneth also to show and speak of his bulls and auctorities come from, Rome.
THE FRIAR.
"Date et dabitur vobis:" Good devout people, this place of Scripture—
PARDONER.
Worshipful masters, ye shall understand—
FRIAR.
Is to you that have no literature—
PARDONER.
That Pope Leo the Tenth hath granted with his hand—
FRIAR.
Is to say in our English tongue—
PARDONER.
And by his bulls confirmed under lead—
FRIAR.
As depart your goods the poor folk among—
PARDONER.
To all manner people both quick and dead—
FRIAR.
And God shall then give unto you again—
PARDONER.
Ten thousand years and as many Lents of pardon—
FRIAR.
This is the gospel, so is written plain—
PARDONER.
When they are dead, their souls for to guardon—[172]
FRIAR.
Therefore give your alms in the largest wise—
PARDONER.
That will with their penny or alms deed—
FRIAR.
Keep not your goods: fye, fye, on covetise!
PARDONER.
Put to their hands to the good speed—
FRIAR.
That sin with God is most abhominable—
PARDONER.
Of the holy chapel of sweet Saint Leonard—
FRIAR.
And is eke the sin that is most damnable—
PARDONER.
Which late by fire was destroyed and marred—
FRIAR.
In Scripture eke but I say, sirs, how—
PARDONER.
Ay, by the mass, one cannot hear—
FRIAR.
What a babbling maketh yonder fellow!
PARDONER.
For the babbling of yonder foolish frere—
FRIAR.
In Scripture eke is there many a place—
PARDONER.
And also, masters, as I was about to tell—
FRIAR.
Which showeth that many a man so far-forth lacketh grace—
PARDONER.
Pope Julius the Sixth hath granted fair and well—
FRIAR.
That when to them God hath abundance sent—
PARDONER.
And doth twelve thousand years of pardon to them send—
FRIAR.
They would distribute none to the indigent—
PARDONER.
That ought to this holy chapel lend—
FRIAR.
Whereat God having great indignation—
PARDONER
Pope Boniface the Ninth also—
FRIAR.
Punished these men after a divers fashion—
PARDONER.
Pope Julius, Pope Innocent, with divers popes mo—
FRIAR.
As the gospel full nobly doth declare—
PARDONER.
Hath granted to the sustaining of the same—
FRIAR.
How dives Epulus reigning in welfare—
PARDONER.
Five thousand years of pardon to every of you by name—
FRIAR.
And on his board dishes delicate—
PARDONER.
And clean remission also of their sin—
FRIAR
Poor Lazarus came begging at his gate—
PARDONER.
As often times as you put in—
FRIAR.
Desiring some food his hunger to relieve—
PARDONER.
Any money into the Pardoner's coffer—
FRIAR.
But the rich man nothing would him give—
PARDONER.
Or any money up unto it offer—
FRIAR.
Not so much as a few crumbs of bread—
PARDONER.
Or he that offereth penny or groat—
FRIAR.
Wherefore poor Lazarus of famine straight was dead—
PARDONER.
Or he that giveth the Pardoner a new coat—
FRIAR
And angels his soul to heaven did carry—
PARDONER.
Or take of me other image or letter—
FRIAR.
But now the rich man, of the contrary—
PARDONER.
Whereby this poor chapel may fare the better—
FRIAR.
When he was dead, went to misery and pain.
PARDONER.
And (God wot) it is a full gracious deed—
FRIAR.
Wherefore evermore he shall remain—
PARDONER.
For which God shall quite you well your mede—
FRIAR.
In brenning fire, which shall never cease—
PARDONER.
Now help our poor chapel, if it be your will—
FRIAR.
But I say, thou Pardoner, I bid thee hold thy peace!—
PARDONER.
And I say, thou friar, hold thy tongue still!—
FRIAR.
What, standest thou there all the day smattering!—
PARDONER.
Marry, what standest thou there all the day clattering!—
FRIAR.
Marry, fellow, I come hither to preach the Word of God, Which of no man may be forbode; But heard with silence and good intent, For why it teacheth them evident The very way and path that shall them lead Even to heaven's gates, as straight as any thread. And he that letteth the Word of God of audience, Standeth accursed in the great sentence; And so art thou for interrupting me.
PARDONER.
Nay, thou art a cursed knave, and that shalt thou see; And all such that to me make interruption, The Pope sends them excommunication By his bulls here ready to be read, By bishops and his cardinals confirmed; And eke if thou disturb me any thing, Thou art also a traitor to the king. For here hath he granted me under his broad seal, That no man, if he love his heal,[173] Should me disturb or let in any wise; And if thou dost the king's commandment despise, I shall make thee be set fast by the feet, And, where thou saidst that thou art more meet Among the people here for to preach, Because thou dost them the very way teach, How to come to heaven above: Therein thou liest, and that shall I prove, And by good reason I shall make thee bow, And know that I am meeter than art thou. For thou, when thou hast taught them once the way, Thou carest not whether they come there, yea or nay; But when that thou hast done altogether, And taught them the way for to come hither, Yet all that thou canst imagine Is but to use virtue, and abstain fro sin. And if they fall once, then thou canst no more: Thou canst not give them a salve for their sore. But these my letters be clean purgation, Although never so many sins they have done. But when thou hast taught them the way and all, Yet, ere they come there, they may have many a fall In the way, ere that they come thither For why the way to heaven is very slidder. But I will teach them after another rate, For I shall bring them to heaven's gate, And be their guides, and conduct all things, And lead them thither by the purse-strings, So that they shall not fall, though that they would.
FRIAR.
Hold thy peace, knave, thou art very bold: Thou pratest, in faith, even like a Pardoner.
PARDONER.
Why despisest thou the Pope's minister? Masters, here I curse him openly, And therewith warn all this whole company By the Pope's great auctority, That ye leave him, and harken unto me; For, till he be assoiled, his words take none effect, For out of holy church he is now clean reject.
FRIAR.
My masters, he doth but jest and rave; It forceth not for the words of a knave; But to the Word of God do reverence, And hear me forth with due audience. Masters, I showed you ere while of alms-deed—
PARDONER.
Masters, this pardon which I showed you before—
FRIAR.
And how ye should give poor folk at their need—
PARDONER.
Is the greatest that ever was, sith God was bore—
FRIAR.
And if of your parts that thing once were done—
PARDONER.
For why without confession or contrition—
FRIAR.
Doubt not but God should give you retribution—
PARDONER.
By this shall ye have clean remission—
FRIAR.
But now further it ought to be declared—
PARDONER.
And forgiven of the sins seven—
FRIAR.
Who be these poor folk, that should have your reward—
PARDONER.
Come to this pardon, if ye will come to heaven—
FRIAR.
Who be those poor folk, of whom I speak and name?—
PARDONER.
Come to this pardon, if ye will be in bliss—
FRIAR.
Certes, we poor friars are the same—
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, which ye cannot miss—
FRIAR.
We friars daily take pain, I say—
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, which shall men's souls win—
FRIAR.
We friars daily do both fast and pray—
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, the ridder of your sin—
FRIAR.
We friars travail and labour every hour—
PARDONER.
This is the pardon that purchaseth all grace—
FRIAR.
We friars take pain for the love of our Saviour—
PARDONER.
This is a pardon for all manner of trespass—
FRIAR.
We friars also go on limitation[174]—
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, of which all mercy doth spring—
FRIAR.
For to preach to every Christian nation—
PARDONER.
This is the pardon, that to heaven shall ye bring—
FRIAR.
But I say, thou Pardoner, thou wilt keep silence soon!—
PARDONER.
Yea, it is like to be, when I have done!—
FRIAR.
Marry, therefore the more knave art thou, I say, That perturbest the Word of God, I say; For neither thyself wilt hear God's doctrine, Ne suffer other their ears to incline, Wherefore our Saviour, in His holy Scripture, Giveth thee thy judgment, thou cursed creature, Speaking to thee after this manner: "Maledictus qui audit verbum Dei negligenter"— Woe be that man, saith our Lord, that giveth no audience, Or heareth the Word of God with negligence.
PARDONER.
Now thou hast spoken all, sir daw, I care not for thee an old straw; I had liever thou were hanged up with a rope, Than I, that am come from the Pope, And thereby God's minister, while thou standest and prate, Should be fain to knock without the gate. Therefore preach hardly thy bellyful, But I nevertheless will declare the Pope's bull.
FRIAR.
Now, my friends, I have afore showed ye—
PARDONER.
Now, my masters, as I have afore declared—
FRIAR.
That good it is to give your charity—
PARDONER.
That pardoners from you may not be spared—
FRIAR.
And further I have at length to you told—
PARDONER.
Now hereafter shall follow and ensue—
FRIAR.
Who be these people that ye receive should—
PARDONER.
That followeth of pardons the great virtue—
FRIAR.
That is to say us friars poor—
PARDONER.
We pardoners for your souls be as necessary—
FRIAR.
That for our living must beg fro door to door—
PARDONER.
As is the meat for our bodies hungry—
FRIAR.
For of our own proper we have no proper thing—
PARDONER.
For pardons is the thing that bringeth men to heaven—
FRIAR.
But that we get of devout people's giving—
PARDONER.
Pardons delivereth them fro the sins seven—
FRIAR.
And in our place be friars three score and three—
PARDONER.
Pardons for every crime may dispense—
FRIAR.
Which only live on men's charity—
PARDONER.
Pardon purchaseth grace for all offence—
FRIAR.
For we friars wilful charity profess—
PARDONER.
Yea, though ye had slain both father and mother—
FRIAR.
We may have no money nother more nor less—
PARDONER.
And this pardon is chief above all other—
FRIAR.
For worldly treasure we may nought care—
PARDONER.
For who to it offereth groat or penny—
FRIAR.
Our souls must be rich and our bodies bare—
PARDONER.
Though sins he had done never so many—
FRIAR.
And one thing I had almost left behind—
PARDONER.
And though that he had all his kindred slain—
FRIAR.
Which before came not to my mind—
PARDONER.
This pardon shall rid them from everlasting pain—
FRIAR.
And doubtless, it is none other thing—
PARDONER.
There is no sin so abhominable—
FRIAR.
But when ye will give your alms and offering—
PARDONER.
Which to remit this pardon is not able—
FRIAR.
Look that ye distribute it wisely—
PARDONER.
As well declareth the sentence of this letter—
FRIAR.
Not to every man that for it will cry—
PARDONER.
Ye cannot, therefore, bestow your money better—
FRIAR.
For if ye give your alms in that wise—
PARDONER.
Let us not here stand idle all the day—
FRIAR.
It shall not both to them and us suffice—
PARDONER.
Give us some money, ere that we go our way—
FRIAR.
But I say, thou lewd fellow thou, Haddest none other time to show thy bulls but now? Canst not tarry and abide till soon, And read them then, when preaching is done?
PARDONER.
I will read them now, what sayest thou thereto? Hast thou anything therewith to do? Thinkest that I will stand and tarry for thy leisure? Am I bound to do so much for thy pleasure?
FRIAR.
For my pleasure? nay I would thou knowest it well: It becometh the knave never a deal To prate thus boldly in my presence, And let the Word of God of audience.
PARDONER
Let the Word of God, quod a? nay let a whoreson drivel Prate here all day, with a foul evil, And all thy sermon goeth on covetise, And biddest men beware of avarice; And yet in thy sermon dost thou none other thing, But for alms stand all the day begging!
FRIAR.
Leave thy railing, I would thee advise—
PARDONER.
Nay, leave thou thy babbling, if thou be wise—
FRIAR.
I would thou knowest it, knave, I will not leave a whit—
PARDONER.
No more will I, I do thee well to wit—
FRIAR.
It is not thou shall make me hold my peace—
PARDONER.
Then speak on hardly, if thou thinkest it for thy ease—
FRIAR.
For I will speak, whither thou wilt or no—
PARDONER.
In faith, I care not, for I will speak also—
FRIAR.
Wherefore hardly let us both go to—
PARDONER.
See which shall be better heard of us two—
FRIAR.
What, should ye give ought to parting pardoners—
PARDONER.
What, should ye spend on these flattering liars—
FRIAR.
What, should ye give ought to these bold beggars—
PARDONER.
As be these babbling monks and these friars—
FRIAR.
Let them hardly labour for their living—
PARDONER.
Which do nought daily but babble and lie—
FRIAR.
It much hurteth them good men's giving—
PARDONER.
And tell you fables dear enough at a fly—
FRIAR.
For that maketh them idle and slothful to wark—
PARDONER.
As doth this babbling friar here to-day—
FRIAR.
That for none other thing they will cark—
PARDONER.
Drive him hence, therefore, in the twenty-devil way!
FRIAR.
Hardly they would go both to plough and cart—
PARDONER.
On us pardoners hardly do your cost—
FRIAR.
And if of necessity once they felt the smart—
PARDONER.
For why your money never can be lost—
FRIAR.
But we friars be not in like estate—
PARDONER.
For why there is in our fraternity—
FRIAR.
For our hands with such things we may not maculate—
PARDONER.
For all brethren and sistren that thereof be—
FRIAR.
We friars be not in like condition—
PARDONER.
Devoutly song every year—
FRIAR.
We may have no prebends ne exhibition—
PARDONER.
As he shall know well that cometh there—
FRIAR.
Of all temporal service are we forbode—
PARDONER.
At every of the five solemn feasts—
FRIAR.
And only bound to the service of God—
PARDONER.
A mass and dirge to pray for the good rest—
FRIAR.
And therewith to pray for every Christian nation—
PARDONER.
Of the souls of the brethren and sistren all—
FRIAR.
That God witsafe to save them fro damnation—
PARDONER.
Of our fraternity in general—
FRIAR.
But some of you so hard be of heart—
PARDONER.
With a hearse there standing well arrayed and dight—
FRIAR.
Ye cannot weep, though ye full sore smart—
PARDONER.
And torches and tapers about it brenning bright—
FRIAR.
Wherefore some man must ye hire needs—
PARDONER.
And with the bells eke solemnly ringing—
FRIAR.
Which must intreat God for your misdeeds—
PARDONER.
And priests and clerks devoutly singing—
FRIAR.
Ye can hire no better, in mine opinion—
PARDONER.
And furthermore, every night in the year—
FRIAR.
Than us God's servants, men of religion—
PARDONER.
Twelve poor people are received there—
FRIAR.
And specially God heareth us poor friars—
PARDONER.
And there have both harborow and food—
FRIAR.
And is attentive unto our desires—
PARDONER.
That for them is convenient and good—
FRIAR.
For the more of religion the more heard of our Lord—
PARDONER.
And furthermore, if there be any other—
FRIAR.
And that it so should, good reason doth accord—
PARDONER.
That of our fraternity be sister or brother—
FRIAR.
Therefore, doubt not, masters, I am even he—
PARDONER.
Which hereafter happen to fall in decay—
FRIAR.
To whom ye should part with your charity—
PARDONER.
And if ye then chance to come that way—
FRIAR.
We friars be they that should your alms take—
PARDONER.
Nigh unto our foresaid holy place—
FRIAR.
Which for your soul's health do both watch and wake—
PARDONER.
Ye shall there tarry for a month's space—
FRIAR.
We friars pray, God wot, when ye do sleep—
PARDONER.
And be there found of the place's cost—[175]
FRIAR.
We for your sins do both sob and weep—
PARDONER.
Wherefore now, in the name of the Holy Ghost—
FRIAR.
To pray to God for mercy and for grace—
PARDONER.
I advise you all, that now here be—
FRIAR.
And thus do we daily with all our whole place—
PARDONER.
For to be of our fraternity—
FRIAR.
Wherefore distribute of your temporal wealth—
PARDONER.
Fie on covetise! stick not for a penny:—
FRIAR.
By which ye may preserve your souls' health—
PARDONER.
For which ye may have benefits so many—
FRIAR.
I say, wilt thou not yet stint thy clap? Pull me down the Pardoner with an evil hap!
PARDONER.
Master Friar, I hold it best To keep your tongue, while ye be in rest—
FRIAR.
I say, one pull the knave off his stool!
PARDONER.
Nay, one pull the friar down like a fool!
FRIAR.
Leave thy railing and babbling of friars, Or, by Jis, I'sh lug thee by the sweet ears![176]
PARDONER.
By God, I would thou durst presume to it!—
FRIAR.
By God, a little thing might make me to do it—
PARDONER.
And I shrew thy heart, and thou spare—
FRIAR.
By God, I will not miss thee much, thou slouch; And if thou play me such another touch, I'sh knock thee on the costard, I would thou it knew—
PARDONER.
"Marry that I would see, quod blind Hew." [177]
FRIAR.
Well, I will begin, and then let me see, Whether thou darest again interrupt me, And what thou would once to it say—
PARDONER.
Begin and prove, whether I will, yea or nay—
FRIAR.
And to go forth, whereas I left right now—
PARDONER.
Because some percase will think amiss of me—
FRIAR.
Our Lord in the gospel showeth the way how—
PARDONER.
Ye shall now hear the Pope's authority.
FRIAR.
By Gog's soul, knave, I suffer thee no lenger—
PARDONER.
I say some good body lend me his hanger, And I shall him teach by God Almighty, How he shall another time learn for to fight! I shall make that bald crown of his to look red; I shall leave him but one ear on his head!
FRIAR.
But I shall leave thee never an ear, ere I go:
PARDONER.
Yea, whoreson friar, wilt thou soe—
[Then they fight.
FRIAR.
Loose thy hands away from mine ears—
PARDONER.
Then take thou thy hands away from my hairs; Nay, abide, thou whoreson, I am not down yet; I trust first to lay thee at my feet.
FRIAR.
Yea, whoreson, wilt thou scrat and bite?
PARDONER.
Yea, marry, will I, as long as thou dost smite.—
[Enter the Curate.
PARSON (OR CURATE).
Hold your hands, a vengeance on ye both two, That ever ye came hither to make this a-do! To pollute my church, a mischief on you light! I swear to you, by God Almight, Ye shall both repent, every vein of your heart, As sore as ye did ever thing, ere ye depart.
FRIAR.
Master Parson, I marvel ye will give licence To this false knave in this audience, To publish his ragman-rolls[178] with lies I desired him, i-wis, more than once or twice To hold his peace, till that I had done; But he would hear no more than the man in the moon—
PARDONER.
Why should I suffer thee more than thou me? Master Parson gave me licence before thee; And I would thou knowest it, I have relics here Other manner stuff than thou dost bear. I will edify more with the sight of it, Than will all the prating of holy writ; For that except that the preacher himself live well, His predication will help never a dell, And I know well that thy living is nought: Thou art an apostate, if it were well sought. An homicide thou art, I know well enough, For myself knew where that thou slough A wench with thy dagger in a couch: And yet, as thou say'st in thy sermon, that no man shall touch.
PARSON.
No more of this wrangling in my church! I shrew your hearts both for this lurch: Is there any blood shed here between these knaves? Thanked be God they had no staves Nor edge-tools;[179] for then it had been wrong. Well, ye shall sing another song! Neighbour Prat, come hither, I you pray—
PRAT.
Why, what is this nice fray?
PARSON.
I cannot tell you; one knave disdains another; Wherefore take ye the one, and I shall take the other. We shall bestow them there as is most convenient; For such a couple, I trow, they shall repent That ever they met in this church here. Neighbour, ye be constable; stand ye near, Take ye that lay knave, and let me alone With this gentleman; by God and by Saint John, I shall borrow upon priesthood somewhat; For I may say to thee, neighbour Prat, It is a good deed to punish such, to the ensample Of such other, how that they shall mell In like fashion, as these caitiffs do.
PRAT.
In good faith, Master Parson, if ye do so, Ye do but well to teach them to beware.
PARDONER.
Master Prat, I pray ye me to spare; For I am sorry for that that is done; Wherefore I pray ye forgive me soon, For that I have offended within your liberty; And by my troth, sir, ye may trust me I will never come hither more, While I live, and God before.
PRAT.
Nay, I am once charged with thee, Wherefore, by Saint John, thou shalt not escape me, Till thou hast scoured a pair of stocks.
PARSON.
Tut, he weeneth all is but mocks! Lay hand on him; and come ye on, sir friar, Ye shall of me hardly have your hire; Ye had none such this seven year, I swear by God and by our lady dear.
PARDONER.
Nay, Master Parson, for God's passion, Intreat[180] not me after that fashion; For, if ye do, it will not be for your honesty.
PARSON.
Honesty or not, but thou shall see, What I shall do by and by: Make no struggling, come forth soberly: For it shall not avail thee, I say.
FRIAR.
Marry, that shall we try even straightway. I defy the churl priest, and there be no more than thou. I will not go with thee, I make God a vow. We shall see first which is the stronger: God hath sent me bones; I do thee not fear.
PARSON.
Yea, by thy faith, wilt thou be there? Neighbour Prat, bring forth that knave, And thou, sir friar, if thou wilt algates[181] rave.
FRIAR.
Nay, churl, I thee defy! I shall trouble thee first; Thou shalt go to prison by and by; Let me see, now do thy worst!
[Prat with the Pardoner and the Parson with the Friar.
PARSON.
Help, help, neighbour Prat, neighbour Prat, In the worship of God, help me somewhat!
PRAT.
Nay, deal as thou canst with that elf, For why I have enough to do myself. Alas! for pain I am almost dead; The red blood so runneth down about my head. Nay, and thou canst, I pray thee help me.
PARSON.
Nay, by the mass, fellow, it will not be; I have more tow on my distaff than I can well spin; The cursed Friar doth the upper hand win.
FRIAR.
Will ye leave then, and let us in peace depart?
PARSON AND PRAT.
Yea, by our lady, even with all our heart.
FRIAR AND PARDONER.
Then adieu to the devil, till we come again.
PARSON AND PRAT.
And a mischief go with you both twain![182]
THE WORLD AND THE CHILD.
MR COLLIER'S PREFACE.
When the Rev. T.F. Dibdin asserted ("Typographical Antiquities," ii. 9.) that "in the Drama there is no single work yet found, which bears the name of Winken de Worde as the printer of it," he committed one of those singular over-sights of which very learned men have before been sometimes guilty. "Hickscorner," perhaps the most ancient printed dramatic piece in our language, and well-known to those who are at all acquainted with the history of our stage, was from his press, and his colophon is at its conclusion: "Enprynted by me Wynkyn de Worde." Mr Dibdin, in opposition to his own statement, inserts it among the works of that early professor of the typographic art.
The subsequent dramatic production is also from the types of Wynkyn de Worde, but it was not discovered in the Library of Trinity College, Dublin, until after the appearance of the second volume of Mr Dibdin's new edition of Ames.[183]
[Yet a copy was in the "Bibliotheca Anglo-Poetica," 1815, and in 1817 the piece was reprinted for the Roxburghe Club].
"Hickscorner" is without date, but "The World and the Child" was printed in July 1522. Only one other copy of it is known, and it is here republished from a faithful transcript of the original.[184] As a specimen of our ancient moralities, it is of an earlier date, and in several respects more curious, than almost any other piece in the present collection. From a line in the epilogue, it might be inferred that it was performed before the king and his Court.
HERE BEGINNETH A PROPER NEW INTERLUDE OF THE WORLD AND THE CHILD, OTHERWISE CALLED MUNDUS ET INFANS, AND IT SHOWETH OF THE ESTATE OF CHILDHOOD AND MANHOOD.
MUNDUS. Sirs, cease of your saws what so befall, And look ye bow bonerly[185] to my bidding, For I am ruler of realms, I warn you all, And over all fodes[186] I am king: For I am king, and well known in these realms round, I have also palaces i-pight: I have steeds in stable stalwart and strong, Also streets and strands full strongly i-dight: For all the world[187] wide I wot well is my name, All riches readily it renneth in me, All pleasure worldly, both mirth and game. Myself seemly in sale[188] I send with you to be, For I am the world, I warn you all, Prince of power and of plenty: He that cometh not, when I do him call, I shall him smite with poverty, For poverty I part[189] in many a place To them that will not obedient be. I am a king in every case: Methinketh I am a God of grace, The flower of virtue followeth me! Lo, here I sit seemly in se,[190] I command you all obedient be, And with free will ye follow me.
INFANS. Christ our king, grant you clearly to know the case. To meve[191] of this matter that is in my mind, [And] clearly declare it, Christ grant me grace. Now, seemly sirs, behold on me, How mankind doth begin: I am a child, as you may see, Gotten in game and in great sin. Forty weeks my mother me found,[192] Flesh and blood my food was tho: When I was ripe from her to sound, In peril of death we stood both two. Now to seek death I must begin, For to pass that strait passage For body and soul, that shall then twin,[193] And make a parting of that marriage. Forty weeks I was freely fed Within my mother's possession: Full oft of death she was a-dread, When that I should part her from: Now into the world she hath me sent, Poor and naked, as ye may see, I am not worthily wrapped nor went, But poorly pricked in poverty. Now into the world will I wend, Some comfort of him for to crave. All hail! comely crowned king, God that all made you see and save!
MUNDUS. Welcome, fair child, what is thy name?
INFANS. I wot not, sir, withouten blame; But oftime my mother in her game Called me Dalliance.
MUNDUS. Dalliance, my sweet child, It is a name that is right wild,[194] For when thou waxest old, It is a name of no substance, But, my fair child, what wouldst thou have?
INFANS. Sir, of some comfort I you crave: Meat and clothes my life to save, And I your true servant shall be.
MUNDUS. Now, fair child, I grant thee thine asking: I will thee find while thou art ying,[195] So thou wilt be obedient to my bidding. These garments gay I give to thee, And also I give to thee a name, And clepe thee Wanton in every game, Till fourteen year be come and gone, And then come again to me.
WANTON. Gramercy, world, for mine array; For now I purpose me to play.
MUNDUS. Farewell, fair child, and have good day: All recklessness is kind for thee.
WANTON. Ha, ha, Wanton is my name: I can many a quaint game. Lo, my top I drive in same, See, it turneth round! I can with my scourge-stick My fellow upon the head hit, And lightly[196] from him make a skip, And blear on him my tongue. If brother or sister do me chide, I will scratch and also bite: I can cry, and also kick, And mock them all berew.[197] If father or mother will me smite, I will ring with my lip, And lightly from him make a skip, And call my dame shrew. Aha, a new game have I found: See this gin, it renneth round! And here another have I found, And yet mo can I find. I can mow[198] on a man, And make a lesing[199] well I can, And maintain it right well then. This cunning came me of kind, Yea, sirs, I can well geld a snail, And catch a cow by the tail: This is a fair cunning, I can dance and also skip, I can play at the cherry-pit,[200] And I can whistle you a fit,[201] Sires, in a willow rine: Yea, sirs, and every day, When I to school shall take the way Some good man's garden I will essay, Pears and plums to pluck. I can spy a sparrow's nest, I will not go to school but when me lest,[202] For there beginneth a sorry feast, When the master should lift my dock. But, sirs, when I was seven year of age, I was sent to the world to take wage,[203] And this seven year I have been his page, And kept his commandment. Now I will wend to the world the worthy emperor. Hail! Lord of great honour, This seven year I have served you in hall and in bow'r With all my true intent.[204]
MUNDUS. Now welcome, Wanton, my darling dear. A new name I shall give thee here: Love-Lust, Liking, in fere; These thy names they shall be, All game and glee, and gladness, All love-longing in lewdness. This seven year forsake all sadness, And then come again to me.
LUST AND LIKING. Ha, ha, now Lust and Liking is my name. I am as fresh as flowers in May, I am seemly-shapen in same, And proudly apparelled in garments gay: My looks been full lovely to a lady's eye, And in love-longing my heart is sore set: Might I find a fode[205] that were fair and free, To lie in hell till doomsday for love I would not let. My love for to win All game and glee, All mirth and melody, All revel and riot, And of boast will I never blin. But, sirs, now I am nineteen winter old, I-wis, I wax wonder bold: Now I will go to the world A higher science to assay: For the World will me avance, I will keep his governance, His pleasing will I pray, For he is a king in all substance. All hail! master, full of might, I have you served both day and night: Now I comen, as I you benight.[206] One and twenty winter is comen and gone.
MUNDUS. Now welcome, Love-Lust and Liking, For thou hast been obedient to my bidding. I increase thee in all thing, And mightly[207] I make thee a man: Manhood Mighty shall be thy name. Bear thee prest[208] in every game, And wait[209] well that thou suffer no shame, Neither for land nor for rent: If any man would wait thee with blame, Withstand him with thy whole intent, Full sharply thou beat him to shame With doughtiness of deed: For of one thing, Manhood, I warn thee, I am most of bounty, For seven kings sewen[210] me Both by day and night. One of them is the king of pride, The king of envy doughty in deed, The king of wrath that boldly will abide, For mickle is his might: The king of covetise is the fourth: The fifth king he hight sloth, The king of gluttony hath no jollity, There[21l] poverty is pight:[212] Lechery is the seventh king, All men in him have great delighting, Therefore worship him above all thing, Manhood, with all thy might.
MANHOOD. Yea, sir king, without lesing It shall be wrought.[213] Had I knowing of the first king, without lesing Well joyen I mought.
MUNDUS. The first king hight pride.
MANHOOD. Ah, Lord, with him fain would I bide.
MUNDUS. Yea, but wouldst thou serve him truly in every tide?[214]
MANHOOD. Yea, sir, and thereto my troth I plight: That I shall truly pride present I swear by Saint Thomas of Kent.[215] To serve him truly is mine intent, With main and all my might.
MUNDUS. Now, Manhood, I will array thee new In robes royal of right[216] good hue, And I pray thee principally be true, And here I dub thee a knight, And haunt alway to chivalry. I give thee grace and also beauty: Gold and silver great plenty, Of the wrong to make thee right.
MANHOOD. Gramercy, World and Emperor, Gramercy, World and Governor, Gramercy, comfort in all colour, And now I take my leave. Farewell!
MUNDUS. Farewell, Manhood, my gentle knight: Farewell, my son, seemly in sight. I give thee a sword, and also strength and might In battle boldly to bear thee well.
MANHOOD. Now I am dubbed a knight bend,[217] Wonder wide shall wax my fame: To seek adventures now will I wend, To please the world in glee and game.
MUNDUS. Lo, sirs, I am a prince perilous y-proved, I-proved full perilous and pithily y-pight: As a lord in each land I am beloved, Mine eyen do shine as lantern bright. I am a creature comely out of care, Emperors and kings they kneel to my knee: Every man is afeard, when I do on him stare, For all merry middle earth maketh mention of me. Yet all is at my hand-work, both by down and by dale, Both the sea and the land, and the fowls that fly: And I were once moved, I tell you in tale, There durst no[218] star stir that standeth in the sky, For I am Lord and leader, so that in land All boweth to my bidding bonnerly about. Who that stirreth with any strife or waiteth me with wrong, I shall mightly make him to stammer and stoop: For I am richest in mine array, I have knights and towers, I have brightest[219] ladies in bowers. Now will I fare on these flowers: Lordings, have good day.
MANHOOD. Peace, now peace, ye fellows all about: Peace now, and harken to my saws, For I am Lord both stalworthy and stout, All lands are led by my laws. Baron was there never born that so well him bare, A better ne a bolde[r] nor a brighter of ble,[220] For I have might and main over countries far, And Manhood Mighty am I named in every country. For Salerno and Samers,[221] and Andaluse:[222] Calais, Kent, and Cornwall have I conquered clean, Picardy and Pontoise, and gentle Artois, Florence, Flanders, and France, and also Gascoigne. All I have conquered as a knight: There is no emperor so keen, That dare me lightly tene,[223] For lives and limbs I lene, So mickle is my might. For I have boldly blood full piteously dispilled: There many hath left fingers and feet, both head and face. I have done harm on heads, and knights have I killed; And many a lady for my love hath said alas. Brigand harness[224] I have beaten to back and to bones, And beaten also many a groom[225] to ground: Breastplates I have beaten, as Stephen was with stones, So fell a fighter in a field was there never y-found. To me no man is maked,[226] For Manhood Mighty that is my name. Many a lord have I do lame:[227] Wonder wide walketh my fame, And many a king's crown have I cracked. I am worthy and wight, witty and wise: I am royal arrayed to reven under the ris,[228] I am proudly apparelled in purpur and bis, As gold I glister in gear: I am stiff, strong, stalwart, and stout, I am the royallest readily that renneth in this rout, There is no knight so grisly that I dread nor doubt, For I am so doughtly dight there may no dint me dere, And the king of pride full prest with all his proud presence, And the king of lechery lovely his letters hath me sent, And the king of wrath full wordily with all his intent, They will me maintain with main and all their might: The king of covetise, and the king of gluttony, The king of sloth, and the king of envy, All those send me their livery. Where is now so worthy a wight? Yea, as a wight witty, Here in this seat sit I, For no loves let I Here for to sit.
CONSCIENCE. Christ, as he is crowned king, Save all this comely company, And grant you all his dear blessing, That bonnerly bought you on the rood-tree. Now pray you prestly on every side To God omnipotent, To set our enemy sharply on side, That is the devil and his covent: And all men to have a clear knowing Of heaven bliss, that high tower, Methink it is a nessary[229] thing For young and old, both rich and poor, Poor Conscience for to know, For Conscience clear it is my name. Conscience counselleth both high and low, And Conscience commonly beareth great blame, Yea, and oftentimes set in shame: Wherefore I reed you men, both in earnest and in game, Conscience that ye know, For I know all the mysteries of man. They be as simple as they can, And in every company where I come Conscience is out-cast: All the world doth Conscience hate, Mankind and Conscience been at debate, For if mankind might Conscience take My body would they brast: Brast, yea, and wark me much woe.
MANHOOD. Say how, fellow, who gave thee leave this way to go? What! weenest thou I dare not come thee to? Say, thou harlot,[230] whither in haste?
CONSCIENCE. What! let me go, sir; I know you nought.
MANHOOD. No, bitched brothel, thou shalt be taught, For I am a knight, and I were sought; The world hath avanced me.
CONSCIENCE. Why, good sir knight, what is your name?
MANHOOD. Manhood, mighty in mirth and in game, All power of pride have I tane:[231] I am as gentle as jay on tree.
CONSCIENCE. Sir, though the world have you to manhood brought, To maintain manner ye were never taught; No, Conscience clear, ye know right nought, And this longeth[232] to a knight.
MANHOOD. Conscience! what the devil man is he?
CONSCIENCE! Sir, a teacher of the spirituality.
MANHOOD. Spirituality! what the devil may that be?
CONSCIENCE. Sir, all that be leaders into light.
MANHOOD. Light! yea, but hark, fellow, yet light fain would I see.
CONSCIENCE! Will ye so, sir knight, then do after me.
MANHOOD. Yea, and it to pride's pleasing be; I will take thy teaching.
CONSCIENCE. Nay, sir, beware of pride, and you do well. For pride Lucifer fell into hell: Till doomsday there shall he dwell, Withouten any outcoming; For pride, sir, is but a vain glory.
MANHOOD. Peace, thou brothel, and let those words be, For the world and pride hath avanced me To me men lewt[233] full low.
CONSCIENCE. And to beware of pride, sir, I would counsel you; And think on King Robert of Sicile,[234] How he for pride in great poverty fell, For he would not Conscience know.
MANHOOD. Yea, Conscience, go forth thy way, For I love pride, and will go gay: All thy teaching is not worth a stra',[235] For pride clepe I my king.
CONSCIENCE. Sir, there is no king but God alone, That bodily bought us with pain and passion, Because of man's soul's redemption: In Scripture thus we find.
MANHOOD. Say, Conscience, sith thou wouldst have pride from me, What sayest thou by the king of lechery? With all mankind he must be, And with him I love to ling.
CONSCIENCE. Nay, Manhood, that may not be: From lechery fast you flee. For incumbrance it will bring thee, And all that to him will lind.[236]
MANHOOD. Say, Conscience, of the king of sloth. He hath behight me mickle troth, And I may not forsake him for ruth. For with him I think to rest.
CONSCIENCE. Manhood, in Scripture thus we find, That sloth is a traitor to heaven king: Sir knight, if you will keep your king[237] From sloth clean you cast.
MANHOOD. Say, Conscience, the king of gluttony: He sayeth he will not forsake me, And I purpose his servant to be With main and all my might.
CONSCIENCE. Think, Manhood, on substance, And put out gluttony for cumbrance, And keep you with good governance, For this longeth to a knight.
MANHOOD. What, Conscience, from all my masters thou wouldst have me: But I will never forsake envy, For he is king of company, Both with more and lass.[238]
CONSCIENCE. Nay, Manhood, that may not be. And[239] ye will cherish envy; God will not well pleased be To comfort you in that case.
MANHOOD. Ay, ay, from five kings thou hast counselled me, But from the king of wrath I will never flee, For he is in every deed doughty, For him dare no man rowt.
CONSCIENCE. Nay, Manhood, beware of wrath; For it is but superfluity that cometh and goeth: Yea, and all men his company hateth, For oft they stand in doubt.[240]
MANHOOD. Fie on thee, false flattering frere:[241] Thou shalt rue the time that thou came here. The devil mot set thee on a fire, That ever I with thee meet, For thou counsellest me from all gladness, And would me set into all sadness; But ere thou bring me in this madness, The devil break thy neck! But, sir frere, evil mot thou the,[242] From six kings thou hast counselled me, But that day shall thou never see To counsel me from covetise.
CONSCIENCE. No, sir, I will not you from covetise bring, For covetise I clepe a king. Sir, covetise in good doing Is good in all wise: But, sir knight, will ye do after me, And covetise your king shall be?
MANHOOD. Ye, sir, my troth I plight to thee. That I will wark at thy will.
CONSCIENCE. Manhood, will ye by this word stand?
MANHOOD. Yea, Conscience, here my hand. I will never from it fong,[243] Neither loud ne still.
CONSCIENCE. Manhood, ye must love God above all thing. His name in idleness ye may not ming: Keep your holy-day from worldly doing: Your father and mother worship aye: Covet ye to sle no man, Ne do no lechery with no woman: Your neighbour's good take not by no way, And all false witness ye must denay: Neither ye must not covet no man's wife, Nor no good that him be-lith. This covetise shall keep you out of strife. These been the commandments ten: Mankind, and ye these commandments keep, Heaven bliss I you behete,[244] For Christ's commandments are[245] full sweet, And full necessary to all men.
MANHOOD. What, Conscience, is this thy covetise?
CONSCIENCE. Yea, manhood, in all wise: And covet to Christ's service, Both to matins and to mass. Ye must, Manhood, with all your might, Maintain holy church's right, For this longeth to a knight Plainly in every place.
MANHOOD. What, Conscience, should I leave all game and glee?
CONSCIENCE. Nay, Manhood, so mot I the, All mirth in measure is good for thee: But, sir, measure is in all thing.
MANHOOD. Measure, Conscience? what thing may measure be?
CONSCIENCE. Sir, keep you in charity, And from all evil company, For doubt of folly doing.
MANHOOD. Folly! what thing callest thou folly!
CONSCIENCE. Sir, it is pride, wrath, and envy, Sloth, covetise, and gluttony, Lechery the seventh is: These seven sins I call folly.
MANHOOD. What, thou liest! to this seven The world delivered me, And said they were kings of great beauty, And most of main and mights. But yet I pray thee, sir, tell me, May I not go arrayed honestly?
CONSCIENCE. Yes, Manhood, hardily In all manner of degree.
MANHOOD. But I must have sporting of play.
CONSCIENCE. Sickerly,[246] Manhood, I say not nay: But good governance keep both night and day, And maintain meekness and all mercy.
MANHOOD. All mercy, Conscience: what may that be?
CONSCIENCE. Sir, all discretion that God gave thee.
MANHOOD. Discretion I know not, so mot I the.
CONSCIENCE. Sir, it is all the wits that God hath you send.
MANHOOD. Ah, Conscience! Conscience! now I know and see Thy cunning is much more than mine: But yet I pray thee, sir, tell me, What is most necessary for man in every time?
CONSCIENCE. Sir, in every time beware of folly: Folly is full of false flattering; In what occupation that ever ye be, Alway, ere ye begin, think on the ending for blame. Now farewell, Manhood, I must wend.
MANHOOD. Now farewell, Conscience, mine own friend.
CONSCIENCE. I pray you, Manhood, have God in mind, And beware of folly and shame.
MANHOOD. Yes, yes: yea, come wind and rain, God let him never come here again. Now he is forward, I am right fain, For in faith, sir, he had near counselled me all amiss. Ah, ah! now I have bethought me, if I shall heaven win, Conscience teaching I must begin, And clean forsake the kings of sin, That the world me taught; And Conscience' servant will I be, And believe, as he hath taught me, Upon one God and persons three, That made all things of nought: For Conscience clear I clepe my king, And his knight in good doing: For right of reason, as I find, Conscience teaching is true: The world is full of boast, And saith he is of might most: All his teaching is not worth a cost; For Conscience he doth refuse. But yet will I him not forsake, For mankind he doth merry make: Though the world and Conscience be at debate, Yet the world will I not despise, For both in church and in cheaping,[247] And in other places being, The world findeth me all thing, And doth me great service. Now here full prest I think to rest, Now mirth is best.
FOLLY. What, heigho! care away! My name is Folly, I am not gay. Is here any man that will say nay That renneth in this rout? Ah, sir, God give you good eve.
MANHOOD. Stand utter,[248] fellow, where dost thou thy courtesy preve?
FOLLY. What, I do but claw mine arse, sir, by your leave. I pray you, sir, rive me this clout.
MANHOOD. What, stand out, thou sained[249] shrew!
FOLLY. By faith, sir, there the cock crew; For I take record of this rew My thedom[250] is near past.
MANHOOD. Now, truly, it may well be so.
FOLLY. By God, sir, yet have I fellows mo, For in every country, where I go, Some man his thrift hath lost.
MANHOOD. But hark, fellow, art thou any crafts-man?
FOLLY. Yea, sir, I can bind a sieve and tink a pan, And thereto a curious buckler-player I am. Arise, fellow, will thou assay?
MANHOOD. Now truly, sir, I trow thou canst but little skill of play.
FOLLY. Yes, by Cock's bones, that I can. I will never flee for no man, That walketh by the way.
MANHOOD. Fellow, though thou have cunning, I counsel thee leave thy boasting, For here thou may thy fellow find, Whether thou wilt, at long or short.
FOLLY. Come, look and thou darest, arise and assay.
MANHOOD. Yea, sir, but yet Conscience biddeth me nay.
FOLLY. No, sir, thou darest not in good fay, For truly thou failest no[w], false heart.
MANHOOD. What sayest thou? have I a false heart?
FOLLY. Yea, sir, in good fay.
MANHOOD. Manhood will not that I say nay. Defend thee, Folly, if that you may, For in faith I purpose to wete what thou art. How sayest thou now, Folly, hast thou not a touch?
FOLLY. No, i-wis, but a little on my pouch. On all this meyne[251] will me vouch That standeth here about.
MANHOOD. And I take record on all this rew, Thou hast two touches, though I say but few.
FOLLY. Yea, this place is not without a shrew: I do you all out of due.
MANHOOD. But hark, fellow, by thy faith, where was thou bore?
FOLLY. By my faith, in England have I dwelled yore, And all mine ancestors me before. But, sir, in London is my chief dwelling.
MANHOOD. In London? where, if a man thee sought?
FOLLY. Sir, in Holborn I was forth brought, And with the courtiers, I am betaught, To Westminster I used to wend.
MANHOOD. Hark, fellow, why dost thou to Westminster draw?
FOLLY. For I am a servant of the law. Covetise is mine own fellow: We twain plete[252] for the king, And poor men that come from upland, We will take their matter in hand, Be it right or be it wrong, Their thrift with us shall wend.
MANHOOD. Now hear, fellow, I pray thee, whither wendest thou than?
FOLLY. By my faith, sir, into London I ran, To the taverns to drink the wine: And then to the inns I took the way, And there I was not welcome to the ostler, But I was welcome to the fair tapester, And to all the household I was right dear, For I have dwelled with her many a day.
MANHOOD. Now I pray thee, whither took thou then the way?
FOLLY. In faith, sir, over London bridge I ran, And the straight way to the Stews I came, And took lodging for a night: And there I found my brother lechery. There men and women did Folly, And every man made of me as worthy, As though I had been a knight.
MANHOOD. I pray thee yet tell me mo of thine adventures.
FOLLY. In faith, even straight to all the freres, And with them I dwelled many years, And they crowned Folly a king.
MANHOOD. I pray thee, fellow, whither wendest thou tho?
FOLLY. Sir, all England to and fro: Into abbeys and into nunneries also, And alway Folly doth fellows find. |
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